Two and a half weeks later
The days seemed to move by more and more easily for Beth. She knew she'd been in a dark place for a while, and although she didn't quite feel that she had gotten all the way out of it, she knew she was getting closer and closer to feeling normal again.
The first few days after the incident on the beach she'd been in a mental and emotional fog like she'd never experienced. She couldn't stop reliving what had happened over and over again. It even followed her into her dreams. She could now remember very little from those few days, other than a few bits and pieces, most of them including something Daryl had done or said. She'd withdrawn to a place inside of herself that she didn't know existed, and she'd felt lost and alone, scared and a bit hopeless.
And she still had some of those feelings, although they came now only in fleeting moments and they no longer consumed every part of her as much as it had at first. And she still often woke up in the middle of the night, having dreamed about the drowning incident. She couldn't shake the feeling that maybe she could have done something differently to save that little girl. Everyone told her that what happened wasn't her fault – the girl was out of her range of responsibility and for some reason, which Beth still wasn't sure about, the other lifeguard, Kelsey, hadn't been at her station to help. It had taken Beth a long time just to get to the little girl and she remembered all too vividly that feeling of fear that she'd had once she'd seen and felt her limp little body. She could tell it was too late and it was the worst feeling Beth ever experienced.
Beth also couldn't shake the memories of the little girl's family – her mother, father, and older sister. The older sister was dressed in the same bathing suit as her sister was and they looked so similar to one another that, other than the size difference, they could have been mistaken as twins. And while the girl's mother had been unbelievably hysterical, crying and screaming, the father was stoic, appearing to be in some sort of shock. In those moments, Beth had wondered why he had that type of reaction; but now, she understood it all too well. It had happened to her too, and in the following days she found that she couldn't draw herself out of her own mind enough to speak or react or do much of anything.
If she was honest, she couldn't even remember what had happened between leaving the beach and getting back to her house. The first thing she remembered was standing in front of Daryl in her bedroom, naked, after he'd barged into her room after she'd bathed. He'd told her later that he'd just randomly run into her in the checkout line at Walmart – but she had no recollection of that at all, or of the drive home with Daryl or the bath that she'd taken. Those first few days she'd felt like she was in some sort of heavy fog – only able to focus on her feelings and her memories of the drowning. She remembered Daryl talking to her, but she'd never been able to bring herself to say anything in response. Not until that Friday night when he'd started to beat himself up about what he'd been calling her all week – "baby" – and she couldn't let him get upset about it, or stop, because it was one of the things that had seemed to pull her out of the darkness, hearing those little terms of endearment coming out of his mouth day after day.
Daryl. He had been her rock through all of this. And she knew she didn't deserve his faithfulness to her – she hadn't been fair to him before, that Friday night that they'd been together and things had gone too far, which now seemed like ages ago. She'd chased him away, and in the days after she wasn't sure she'd ever even see him again. And she was sure that if she did, things would never been the same. She hadn't been sure there was any coming back from what had happened between them – and those thoughts had preoccupied her mind that weekend. She knew now that her reaction to him hadn't been reflected in what she'd said – that 'it was a mistake'. Instead, her feelings had been strong for Daryl, and to her, so unexplainable given their short relationship. She hadn't been able to explain to herself what had happened that night other than to feel true fear in the moment – but not fear that she was making a mistake, fear that she was ruining something truly good that had come into her life. She'd realized that Daryl wasn't just some guy to fool around with and she'd felt desperate to make sure what happened between them didn't scar any chance they had to have a real and functional relationship, even if they weren't ready for it then.
And then, she hadn't been ready. And she knew Daryl definitely wasn't – he'd been very clear about that. And that made sense, she'd thought, at least in her head – after all, they'd only known each of for a week, she'd reminded herself over and over. But, her heart wasn't so sure that mattered; her heart told her that she and Daryl had something special, something maybe she hadn't ever had before. But she didn't want to rush it, knew it was truly a mistake to do that.
But now, she couldn't help but think that everything had changed. Daryl had been there for her in a way that she never could've imagined – he'd pulled her out of such a dark place, being more patient and understanding than she imagined anyone could ever be. He'd sat with her and listened to her calmly when she'd finally decided to talk to him about what happened on the beach. And after that, she'd felt a weight lifted from her like she'd never felt before – like sharing that with him had helped her deal with some of the worst of her demons. She couldn't help but translate that into something much more, much more than just a friendly notion he had to help her.
Over the last couple of weeks, they'd grown closer and closer. She and Daryl had a routine now that she couldn't help but love. They ate breakfast together every morning – Beth didn't have to be up that early, she hadn't returned to work yet, and wasn't quite sure she wanted to, at least to the lifeguarding job. But she loved starting her day with Daryl – she'd missed it during the few days when he'd been gone from her house and she couldn't help but love that he was there again, staying with her. After that first week after the incident, Daryl had felt that Beth progressed enough to leave her at home mostly alone during the day – but he still came home at lunchtime every day and ate lunch with her. And she looked forward to him coming home at night, and since she had so much free time, she'd starting cooking dinner for them every night. During the days she did all the little things she needed to do to keep the household running and she realized that she'd found much more happiness in doing those little tasks than ever before, and she couldn't help but think it had something to do with Daryl. She loved washing his clothes, cleaning up the room and bathroom that had now become his, and buying their groceries and planning out meals.
Beth's favorite time of the day though was after dinner. They spent that time together every night, snuggled together on the couch, watching TV or movies, or with one of them reading out loud to the other one. This had started during the week of the incident – Daryl had stayed with her, not letting her stray too far from him, and doing whatever he could to help her find her way out of her gloom. And she found that she loved that time with him then, and didn't ever want to stop doing that – and while she couldn't be completely sure, she thought he felt the same.
Daryl had asked her several times about whether he should go back to his apartment – she could tell that he saw her improvement as a cue for him to go back there, to give her back her own space. She could tell he was a bit insecure about his presence there, feeling that maybe he didn't really belong there with her. But she'd kept him there, kept asking him to stay, at least for a few more days – and he had done as she'd asked. Deep down Beth knew that he wouldn't deny her this, or anything else for that matter. And she used that to keep him there because she liked it, she liked the routine they'd created, their little life that seemed so sweet, so exciting, yet so familiar.
Things between them physically had remained very restrained, though, and while Beth was glad that they were taking things slowly now, she couldn't help but crave more. She knew what it was like to kiss Daryl, knew what his hands felt like against her skin, and she wanted to feel that again. She could tell he was being purposefully guarded, wanting to protect her against what had happened between them before. So she let things progress the way Daryl directed them, even if at times it seemed painfully slow. She tried to focus on enjoying what she had with him, his sweet touches and cuddles never far away. But sometimes, she couldn't help but want more – like the nights that she laid in his lap on the couch while he rubbed her back under her sweatshirt. She inevitably would find her mind wandering, wishing Daryl would move his hand around her side and onto her bra-less breast.
Beth also couldn't bring herself to ask Daryl about their relationship. It was clear now that they were no longer just friends, and that neither of them intended that any longer. No, they'd blown passed that some time ago. But what were they exactly? Beth couldn't help but think they were in some strange in-between place that neither one of them knew how to define. And that place of limbo wasn't where Beth wanted to be – she wanted to be with Daryl, and she'd never been more certain. She just needed to figure out how to let him know, how to show him that she wasn't made out of glass, and that he didn't have to be so afraid of taking things further with her. She had to figure that out soon, she thought, before she did something extreme.
Beth woke up in a good mood and excited about the weekend ahead. It was Friday, July 4th and she was excited for the long weekend that she and Daryl would have together. She'd always loved Independence day, even since she was a child – the cookouts, family time, games, and fireworks made her feel sentimental somehow. And she also loved the greater celebration of their nation and the freedoms that they had. She looked forward to the day's events – she and Daryl had plans to go to a cookout today before going to watch the fireworks.
Daryl had seemed excited about the holiday too – but he'd also seemed a tiny bit apprehensive about going to her friend's cookout. Many of the friends that would be there would be her college friends, a few of them being those that Daryl met several weeks ago when they'd gone out in Bluffton. That night, when Beth had played the part of Daryl's girlfriend, she'd assumed that she'd have to tell her girlfriends that it'd all been a rouse. But she never had – the couple of days afterwards had been difficult for her, because of what happened with Daryl, and she hadn't answered her phone calls or texts from them. And then the drowning had happened and she'd cut herself off totally from everyone – everyone except for Daryl, that is. She had talked to a couple of her friends in the last couple of weeks, but, by then, she didn't know how to explain things with Daryl – so, again, she'd kept things vague, just like she had before, telling them that things were new between them but that she was really happy.
She'd told Daryl just to act like himself around her friends, and not to worry too much about what they thought. But Daryl had avoided the bigger issue when talking to her about it, and she supposed now that she'd been too scared to say anything to him about it, just letting it loom in the air – what exactly was their relationship with one another? Were they together? He called her "baby" with increasing frequency now and she reasoned that had to mean something – although she thought about guy friends that she'd had in the past that just used terms like that just to be cute or flirtatious. She just couldn't imagine that was the case with Daryl, though.
When she emerged from her room, Daryl's door was still closed, so she passed by it quickly, thinking that she'd go downstairs and surprise him with a big breakfast. She knew he loved breakfast food and during the week he only had time to eat a quick one of cereal or oatmeal and fruit. She busied herself with preparations for blueberry pancakes, bacon, eggs, and Daryl's favorite, grits. She lost herself in her work and before she knew it, Daryl had snuck in behind her, like he did on so many occasions lately, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her backwards towards him.
They ate their breakfast and chatted casually about the day ahead and their plans. Beth had agreed to bring a couple of dishes and told Daryl that she'd planned to make them after breakfast, then shower and get ready to go. He agreed with her timeline, telling her that those plans would also give him time to change the oil in his truck and her car – one of the many things that Daryl had told Beth that he preferred to do himself. Beth was so glad when Daryl had offered to change the oil in her car for her – she wasn't working, which meant her lifeguarding income wasn't there. And although she had a lot of money saved, every little bit that she could save helped. She also silently found a thrill in how handy Daryl was – he was a real man, Beth thought, and she loved that about him. She loved a lot of things about him, she'd realized more and more over the last few weeks.
Around 1 p.m., Beth and Daryl met downstairs, both dressed and ready to go to the cookout. Her friend, Bob, who was hosting the party also had a large pool, and so Beth and Daryl both packed their suits and some towels, along with sunscreen, which Beth had insisted on taking. They loaded up Daryl's truck, which he'd insisted on driving, and headed off for the cookout.
The party had a great turn out, more than Beth had initially expected, and she'd had fun catching up with some of her friends that she hadn't seen since school had ended in May. Daryl stuck by her fairly closely, but she didn't mind – while she'd never liked guys to hover around her in the past, something about Daryl was different. She did notice though, that he seemed even more guarded than normal about touching her. He stayed just close enough to make his presence known to others, but avoided those little displays of affection that had been increasingly common when they were together at home. Beth tried to reassure him silently, by holding his hand, or even sitting down in his lap. And over time, he seemed to loosen up a bit, talking to others more and more, and becoming a bit more natural with his actions.
About 4 o'clock everyone had agreed to go swimming and Beth and Daryl both changed into their suits quickly. Daryl was already in the pool when Beth came out – and when he turned to see her, she saw his mouth visibly drop. Secretly she'd hoped to get that kind of reaction. Sure, Daryl had seen her in a bathing suit before, but it was her red lifeguarding one-piece, nothing like the tiny bikinis that she normally wore when she had her choice. And she'd chosen one of her tiniest ones to wear today, hoping to get as much attention from Daryl as possible.
She got into the pool, moving towards where Daryl stood, talking to a couple of other guys. But he seemed like he couldn't get to her fast enough, moving quickly towards her and wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his hands just at the top of her butt.
"Hey you" Beth said. She was trying to be flirtatious, feeling a little bolder than usual.
"Hey yourself" Daryl responded. He was still raking his eyes over her, taking in every inch of skin that was exposed on her thin, tan body.
"You like what you see?" Beth asked, a little more uncertainty in her voice than she'd anticipated. She wasn't the type of girl to say things like that – but things with Daryl made her want to be bold. She wanted him to want her, to want her the same way she wanted him.
"God, Beth…" Daryl started to say. "That's an understatement. I… uh… I'm not sure I want all these college guys ogling over you wearing that".
Beth put her arms around Daryl's neck and stood up on her tip toes, pulling his face a little closer to her own. She didn't know where her confidence was coming from, but she was going to go with it. She wanted to Daryl to know how much she cared for him – that he was the only guy that she was interested in. The last couple of weeks had been wonderful – but they'd been filled with a type of tension that Beth couldn't quite explain. She wanted to end that now, though, didn't want either of them to have a question about what they meant to the other.
"You don't worry about them. The only guy I care about ogling me is you" she said, a bit smile on her face. She hoped Daryl would understand what she meant.
"Yeah?" he asked, seeming a bit uncertain.
"Yeah" she responded with certainty. She was looking straight into Daryl's eyes now, wishing she could see into his soul. And she could have sworn that maybe he could see into hers at that very moment because he slowly closed the distance between them and brought his lips down onto hers. And he didn't seem tentative or shy at all anymore; instead he seemed like someone that knew exactly what he wanted. As he deepened their kiss, Beth forgot about where they were, forgot that there were so many others so close by, surely watching this exchange between them. And so, when Daryl moved his hands down, cupping his hands around her backside and using that leverage to lift her up, she didn't hesitate letting her legs wrap tightly around Daryl's waist.
In that moment, the only fireworks Beth cared about were the ones happening between her and Daryl.