A million things ran through Daryl's mind as he realized that Beth's father was on the other end of the phone call. Initially he was a bit panicked – had something happened to Beth? Why else would he be calling? But he quickly realized that the man didn't sound upset and that he was probably just being paranoid. He was nervous, all of a sudden, realizing this man was calling him to have a serious conversation, no doubt, and it was difficult for Daryl not knowing how much Beth may have told her father about him, or about him and Beth's relationship.

Hershel's words shook Daryl back out of his thoughts and his silence.

"You there, son?" Hershel asked, a bit of concern in his voice.

"Yes sir. Uh… sorry about that" Daryl replied quickly.

"Is this a bad time?" Hershel asked.

"No, sir. No it's not… I was just a little bit surprised, that's all. It's fine." Daryl said, still trying to deal with his nervous feelings on this situation. "Is… is everything okay? With Beth?" Daryl asked. He was still a little afraid that maybe something was wrong with Beth.

"She's fine, Daryl. Just fine." Hershel replied, and the certainty in his voice made Daryl feel calmer. "I'm on my way to visit her now, actually. I hope you don't mind me calling you so early… I'm making the drive from Georgia down for visitation day, so I've got a lot of time in the car".

"There's a visitation day?" Daryl asked, he could feel his heart start beating quickly again. Why hadn't Beth told him? Why hadn't anyone told him? He wouldn't have cared if he'd had to drive all night to get there, he would have gone to see her, even if it was just for a few minutes.

"Well, yes, son. But… they only let one immediate family member in to see her… For an hour every Saturday. It's not much, but, I'll take it. I'm the only one that's been to see her. I think everyone else is still a little bit freaked out about everything." Hershel explained.

"Oh…." Daryl said. It was all he could manage. He'd give anything to see Beth, or to just talk to her on the phone even. He couldn't help the frustration that crept up inside him. He knew he wasn't Beth's family, but he wished more than anything he could be included in those types of visits.

"I'm sorry. She asked if you could be the one to come, but the facility wouldn't allow it. I tried… tried to give my permission, but it didn't matter. They have rules they have to follow, I guess." Hershel said, sounding genuinely apologetic.

"Yeah. I'm… I'm glad you can go. I… just… well… I miss her." Daryl said.

"She's missing you too. You're all she talks about. That's a big reason for my call now, Daryl." Hershel said solemnly.

"Okay?" Daryl said, a bit confused by what Hershel was implying.

"Her therapist told me last week when I visited that she seems so caught up in worrying about you… worrying that you won't accept any of this… or that you won't want her back after this… or that you don't love her. And she's fixating on that and so all these other things… well… the ones she went there for treatment about… they've become secondary for her. Because she's worried about things between the two of you…" Hershel explained.

Daryl felt his heart catching in his chest. It hurt him that Beth wasn't confident in his feelings for her, or in their future. But, he hadn't told her he loved her. Maybe he hadn't done enough, he thought. He'd worried about that over the last days and weeks, and what Hershel was saying seemed to suggest that his anxieties about that had been well-founded.

"So I just need to ask you… I need to know… I need to know where your head is in all of this, son" Hershel continued. "I know I've never even met you. And I don't know you… although I hope maybe that will change. I have heard a heck of a lot about you and you sound like you really care about Beth… really love her. And I'm sorry to just call you up like this. But I'm seeing Beth this afternoon. And I think she needs some reassurance… and since you can't communicate with her, I'd like to provide her with what I can… from you. If that makes sense".

"It does…" Daryl said. He still wasn't completely sure what Hershel was asking, but he thought he was getting closer.

"Now… I'm not trying to pressure you… but I need to know. Beth, she needs to know. She needs to know if you're gonna be there for her when all of this is over… If you're gonna stand by her." Hershel said, obviously trying to clarify his statements, wanting Daryl to know now exactly what he was asking.

"Of course I am. I'm not giving up on her. I love her. I'm not going anywhere. Mr. Greene, you've gotta know that! You've gotta tell her… Tell her I'm not going anywhere!" Daryl said emphatically. He felt a little desperate then, hating to feel that Beth was so unhinged worrying about their relationship, and wanting her father to feel confident that he'd be there for her, take care of her.

"Nobody's gonna fault you if you don't want to, son. From what I understand you two haven't known each other all that long… It's not for me to judge that though. Time often doesn't really matter in matters of the heart… I know that from personal experience. But if this is too much for you, nobody's gonna fault you for walking away. You didn't know what you were getting yourself into with her, I'm guessing." Hershel said.

"That don't much matter now…" Daryl started to respond.

"Well, maybe not… But, if it's too much for you…" Hershel started. But Daryl cut him off.

"It's not too much. I'm gonna take care of her. I'm gonna be there for her. I love her. I do. And I'm sorry I never told her. I thought she knew… but I never woulda let her just leave without me telling her. I just didn't know she was… until she was just gone." Daryl said.

"You have to understand, Daryl… She's my little girl. And I've gotta know… gotta know now that you're committed to her. I'm not trying to interfere in your relationship. And I'm not trying to pin you down and make sure you wanna marry her or anything like that. That's for y'all to decide, now or ten years from now. Beth's grown and she can make her own choices. But she's going through a hard time. She's gonna need some support. And I can't let her go back to Hilton Head not sure what kind of help or support she's gonna have there. I can give her everything I can while she's in Georgia, but once she'd back there, I can't help as much." Hershel said. He almost seemed to be pleading with Daryl now.

"I am committed to her. And I'm committed to being there for her. No matter what. Even if… even if she decides she doesn't wanna be with me. I'll still be there for her. She was there for me. And I won't ever leave her. You have my word on that." Daryl respond. He was so sure of what he was saying now, so sure of how committed he was to Beth. But he just hoped his certainty was coming across to Mr. Greene.

"I'm gonna have to find her a new place to live. And move all of her stuff. She's not gonna go back to my brother's. And I don't want her to. My brother's always been a bit of an ass and I blame myself for letting her get into that situation of living in his house. It was too good to be true, really… And I knew that along really. I knew eventually something would happen and he'd fly off the handle like this. I'm surprised they made it this long without something happening." Hershel said.

"Well… Uh… I feel weird saying this to you, but, well… I can't ask her myself. But, she can live with me… if she wants to… even if it's just for a little while. I mean, don't you think it might be good for her not to be alone? At least at first? I know I'd rather do that… I'd rather her be right there with me so I can make sure she's alright. I don't think she needs to be by herself." Daryl said. He was nervous again and feeling incredibly awkward about talking to his girlfriend's father about them moving in together.

"Okay…." Hershel started to respond, speaking slowly. Daryl wasn't sure how he was going to respond to this. But then he continued. "I'll need to talk to Bethy about it. It's a strange conversation for a father to be involved in between his daughter and her boyfriend. But I know she needs this. She will want to be there with you. I'm sure of it. But I wasn't gonna bring it up to you. I can tell you'd do anything for her, even if it was something you weren't really sure about. And living with someone isn't to be entered into lightly. But I think you know that."

"I do." Daryl said quickly.

"I'll talk to Beth about this. But I'm sure that's what she'll want... She'll want to be wherever you are. I know y'all were basically living together before and that she'd not gonna want to change that when she gets out. If anything, she'll be more anxious to be around you." Hershel commented.

Daryl felt incredibly awkward now. He and Beth had basically been living together before. That part was true. But, not really in the way that a couple lives together – they didn't share a room, and Daryl was there more for moral support than anything else, although that had started to change right before the incident on the 4th.

Hershel broke through the awkward silence that had fallen between them. "And if I need to help you all with anything… with rent, or paying utilities, or whatever, I will. This is a strange situation… I know that. But I'm being open-minded about it. Sometimes what's best for your children isn't necessarily what you would have chosen for them. I don't generally support people living together outside of marriage… But I know this is what Beth needs right now. She needs you".

"Thank you, sir. I… uh… I'll take care of her. I promise. And… I can handle it. I have a really good job and don't live an extravagant lifestyle, so… I can easily manage it all. I thank you for your offer though… I… I'll start looking for a new place right away. That way we can make sure to get her stuff there before she comes home. I don't want her to have to go back to that house again. And I'd like her to be able to go straight to the new place when she comes back here… Like having a fresh start in a new place. I think that'd be good for her." Daryl said.

"I think so too son, but… Well… Beth told me that you had your own apartment?" Hershel asked, confusion registering in his voice.

"Yes, sir… I do. But, it's just… well… it's very small. And, for both of us I think it'd be a tight fit. Beth deserves her own space. Not just some tiny garage apartment. She should have her own room… Her own stuff…." Daryl said. He didn't know how to express it to Hershel without giving him too many private details, but he didn't know whether he and Beth would jump immediately into sharing a room. They hadn't done that before, and while they had slept together before she left, he didn't want to assume anything.

"Y'all may be passed that stage now, son." Hershel said.

Daryl felt a little defensive now. And he needed to let Hershel know how he was really feeling, the things he was struggling with in his mind. "That's for Beth to decide. We've never shared a bedroom. I'm not gonna jump into this assuming we will now. I want her to be comfortable. So I will look for something a bit bigger. And whatever we need, I'll get it. I don't really have any furniture. But I'll figure it out."

"Okay. I guess I'd assumed some things that I shouldn't have. And I apologize. You are an honorable man, Daryl…" Hershel said.

But Daryl was silent. How did he respond to that? He didn't want to give Hershel any false ideas about the purity of their relationship. But at the same time, it wasn't really Hershel's business, was it?

Again, Hershel sensed the awkward silence and spoke up. "Beth's mom and I can help you with furniture if you need some. We've got a whole basement full of stuff we don't use that we'd love someone to put to good use. There are actually a couple of really old pieces that belonged to Beth's grandmother that we've always held onto for her until she had a place of her own to put them. That might really make her day… coming home to a place and seeing them."

"Anything that can make her happy, I wanna do it. I appreciate the offer of the furniture. That'd be really nice. I can come down sometime and take it back… I don't want you to have to do that." Daryl said. He was a bit overwhelmed, really. Hershel was being so genuinely nice and he could hardly believe that this man was offering to give him some of their family's antique furniture.

"You're a good man Daryl. I'm sorry about what my brother said to you. And said about you to Beth. I don't know all of it but I know what Beth told me. And… well… I'm embarrassed about it. I hope you know he doesn't speak for our family. We are excited to get to know you. And make a space for you with us…" Hershel said.

Daryl didn't know what to say. His own family had always been a train wreck, and there was never any love lost between his father and him, and even though his mother had been a bit better, she'd died when Daryl was still very young. And Merle had spent most of Daryl's life in and out of prison. So hearing someone, especially someone like Beth's father, tell him they'd make a space for him in their family was almost overwhelming, almost too much to hope for. It was simultaneously almost too much to help for and everything he'd ever wanted. And, so, Daryl got a little choked up, but tried hard to keep himself together. Hoping that the man on the other end of the phone couldn't hear how emotional he'd become.

Hershel seemed to realize, though, and spoke again. "The truth is, son, that my little girl loves you. I've never seen her talk about someone like she talks about you. She thinks you hung the moon… and… well… from what she's said you've more than prove basically have. You've definitely proven yourself…. Not that you should have to. But you have. And as a father that's all I can ask for with my daughters... Someone that puts their needs above his own, who doesn't give up when things are hard."

"I been through a lot of hard things in my life. And my momma had depression. I should have seen the signs in Beth. I've been going over and over it in my head too. I can't help but think that I shoulda recognize some of those same things…." Daryl started. He was still very emotional. And thinking about family man him think about his mom and her depression and his recent frustration that he hadn't identified Beth's.

"You didn't fail her son. You did way more than most people would have… and you can't beat yourself up because you didn't know everything. You had no way to know!" Hershel said.

"Yeah... maybe so" Daryl answered. He still wasn't sure, but for some reason, Hershel's words resonated a bit with him. He wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he should give himself some grace about the whole situation.

"Can I ask you to do something for me? For Beth?" Hershel said, his tone changing a bit. He almost sounded hopeful, Daryl thought.

"Of course…." Daryl said. "I'd do anything for her."

"Stop thinking about what happened before now... That you didn't see the signs, that you could have done more, that you didn't tell her that you loved her…." Hershel said.

"It's not that easy…" Daryl said, reflecting on how much he had fixated on all those things over the past couple of weeks.

"I know…" Hershel replied. "But try. Try so that you can just move forward, just focus on what's next, on the future."

"Okay. I'll try." Said Daryl, truly meaning what he'd said. He would try – if it would help Beth, he'd do anything.

"That's all I ask." Hershel said.

Daryl didn't know what to say. So he didn't say anything for a few moments. And Hershel didn't either. But finally Daryl spoke.

"I… uh… I appreciate you calling. I know I haven't known Beth long. But I feel like I have. And it seems crazy maybe, but she makes me feel whole... Like a missing piece of myself has finally been fit back into place. I know that's cheesy. I just love her so much… and I don't know what to do with myself." Daryl said. He was afraid he sounded crazy, afraid he was rambling.

"I can tell you do, son." Hershel said.

And that was enough. That was all that needed to be said between them. Silence filled the line for a few moments.

"You save my number, alright? Let me know what's happening. And I will do the same. I want to come up to the island and help you figure some things out with a place for y'all to live. And getting Beth's stuff. I'll call you about that soon. Alright?" Hershel said, beginning to end the conversation.

"Yes sir. Thank you." Daryl said.

"No, thank you, son. I feel a lot better going to see Beth knowing I can tell her she doesn't have to worry. And I know she'll be alright away from you as long as she's with you." Hershel said.

"Yeah..." Daryl said. He wanted to ask Hershel something, but he was a little hesitant at first. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate. But he knew it was his only chance to send a message to Beth. So he just finally blurted it out. "Will you... Will you just tell her I love her. And that I'm gonna be right here. I'm not going anywhere. And the second I can see her after she gets out, I'll be there. I'll come to Florida… or to Georgia… Or I'll just wait for her right here. But no matter what, I'm gonna do what I have to do to be there for her."

"I'll tell her." Hershel said, and Daryl thought he could sense that there was a smile on the man's voice.

"Thank you." Daryl responded.

"You keep in touch, Daryl." Hershel said.

"You too." Daryl told him.

"You have a good day, son." Hershel said.

"Yes, sir. You too. Goodbye." Daryl said.

"Goodbye, son" Hershel responded.

As Daryl hung up the phone, he just sat there for the longest time, having long since reached his fishing spot, where he'd been sitting in his truck talking to Hershel. He couldn't have imagined when he woke up that morning that he'd be talking to Beth's father, or that it would have as well as it had. He felt better suddenly – almost at peace about the situation.

It would be okay, Daryl thought. And he really believed that.

Another week passed, still slowly, but a bit more quickly than the last had. Daryl was starting to find a new normal. He didn't plan to get used to Beth's absence – she'd be home with him soon and he couldn't wait. But he knew he needed to follow Hershel's advice, needed to look towards the future, not focus on the problems in the past.

After coming home from work on Friday evening he was ecstatic to find another letter from Beth in his mailbox. He almost cried as he pulled the pages quickly out of the envelope, excited to see Beth's handwriting covering several pages of plain white paper.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Daryl,

I think I am starting to make a little progress. Therapy has been a bit painful. I've never been through anything this difficult before. I realize now how much easier it has always been for me to just try to shove my feelings way down deep – ignoring them and suppressing them is much easier than dealing with them. And I'm much better at pushing them down, trying to ignore them. But I know now that's not healthy. And that's no way to live.

It may sound weird, I guess, but I'm trying to learn how to express myself more, to talk about my emotions and feelings and thoughts, instead of ignoring them and letting them control me. I understand now that's a big part of my depression and that I will probably always struggle with it, because it is actually an illness, but that I can learn how to deal with things much differently to help myself "cope". Coping is discussed a lot here. At first I thought it was weird to focus so much on that, but I'm learning how important it is. And I want, more than anything to be better. And I especially want to do that for you.

I'm still dealing with a lot of guilt over the drowning, but through my therapy I'm coming to understand more about my feelings. My feelings aren't wrong – no one's feelings are ever wrong. But, I know now that sometimes I become consumed with things in my mind, or I let things that happen to me skew my way of thinking or my sense of reality. I think that's what happened after that little girl died. Because it was so terrible, so traumatic, and I felt like I could have done more to help her, to save her, I just kind of lost myself in all of that. I fixated on it, day and night. I know you probably know that's what I was doing since you were there with me all the time – and I have a lot of guilt about that too. I took so much of your time and energy and I wish I could have coped with it all differently. I felt so lost, then. And I've come out of it now, mostly. But I'm afraid, Daryl. So afraid that something else will happen and I won't be able to cope. I hope I can keep learning how to do that. I think I'm getting there. I know it will be a long road. I'll probably have to work hard at it my entire life. And I know there will be more hard times to come.

My dad visited on Saturday and he said he'd talked to you. He didn't tell me much, but that you both had made a plan for when I come back to HHI. I was shocked that he seemed okay with me living with you, and maybe even more shocked that he said you'd suggested it, almost insisted on it, even, he said. I don't want to put you out, Daryl, and I have the biggest fear that I'm already too dependent on you. But for the life of me, I can't escape the feeling that I need you. I need to be near you. I need to be close to you as much as I can. And I want you to know that if us moving in together is too much, then I'll be okay. I really will be. But I do want that. I want to live together. I want to have a life together. I've never wanted that kind of think with anyone before. But I love you – and I know now that you love me too. If you convinced my dad of that, it must have taken a lot. He has always had high standards for the guys Maggie and I dated. But he seems truly accepting of you and I know it's because he's able to see the same good in you that I see.

I've got to go. I'm well into my music therapy work now and I'm really loving it. It has reinforced my passion for music and my calling to teach it. I never thought it could help heal people – but I think it is slowly helping to heal me.

I am thinking about you always. I cannot wait to be back in your arms. As of today I am half way through the program and have gotten great reports from my doctors. They think I'm making the progress I need to in order to get back to my normal life the way I'd hope, and when I hoped. So I'll be seeing you very soon. I hope you'll be here when I get out. I told Daddy to talk to you about coming. But if you can't get off of work, I understand.

I love you.

Beth