Child of Mine

by Tom Ayto the Frist

He could have never guessed that his salvation was in the form of a small bright eyed child.(Kid AU)

3. Climb Between being Meaningless and Mama

Child of Mine

By Dipuc

Started 07/22/2014

Finished 08/20/2014

Revision 08/24/2014 to 10/27/2014

Notations:

1. My sincerest apologies on making everyone cry in the last chapter. Should I tag that? Angsty…?

2. Toudou and Manami appear. You are warned.

This is Only Possible because of my wonderful BETA Prince. ALL PRAISE PRINCE!

---

Child of Mine

Chapter 3 : The Hard Climb between being Meaningless and Being Mama

The art of love is largely the art of persistence ~ Albert Ellis

---

Makishima stared at the thick binder on his desk. It was a daunting black, the glossy cover stating its purpose.

The Home Study Report.

It had been a treacherous path just to get here, and this was looking like the biggest challenge yet. After the health test, and the background check and the long, introductory meeting at the Children Guidance Centre, or CGC as everyone called it, this was the part he was dreading the most.

He opened the black binder, scanned through the twenty instruction and help pages to the first page of questions.

His slightly fearful look began to grow more prominent as he continued to see the pages filled with seemingly endless questions.

Damn.

He clicked his pen and wrote his name on the first question.

It was going to be a long couple of days.

This week in general had been… interesting. The events that unfolded after he found Onoda, again, at the swing set were almost a blur now that he looked back on it.

The police had been quite confused as to why Onoda kept calling the green haired man 'Mama' since it wasn't the case. Makishima tried to explain to them that he was actually applying for adoption, but they didn't really understand that either. All they saw was that the kid was attached to the man, and no one was brave enough to face the big blue eyes to try and take him away. Makishima was fine with that. He was still groggy and hungover, but thankfully, no one noticed. The police officers were actually more interested in the great mystery of how a five year old had gotten there from Chiba.

They asked him a couple of times, but the boy simply responded with, "Mama taught me."

It must've been a skill that Onoda's deceased mother had taught him, but it seemed impossible to him that she would engrave a rather dangerous knowledge in such a small child. The police finally gave up the semi-questioning.

Makishima spent those hours with Onoda, the sun peeking at them through the stations windows, and although he was tired and a headache was hammering him from the inside of his skull, he felt as if there was no other place he would rather be.

Of course, it wouldn't last.

He was finally separated from Onoda when the Director and Sayuri Tendo came in. Their looks were both maddened and appalled. Makishima avoided their eyes, focusing on another man who had come in from the CGC, and sat down with all three of them.

The man scolded Miss Tendo and the Director of the Onoda's orphanage, telling them that since Onoda had ran away from his home twice in the last month, he was now considered High Risk, and would probably be transferred to a home with a smaller child to caretaker ratio. This distressed Miss Tendo as apparently those homes were usually for older troubled kids that couldn't get along with other children.

"He's not running away to get attention. He ran to find him." She jerked her head in the direction of Makishima, and he shifted slightly.

The man shook his head, "It doesn't matter why. It seems your facility is not capable of handling a child like Onoda Sakamichi. He is determined as a high risk case." He scanned a file in his hands, "But I don't know why that is such a problem… "

He then turned to Makishima, "Aren't you adopting him?"

"He's not." Sayuri said, before Makishima had a chance to answer.

He frowned at her, "I was trying to when this happened."

"I thought you decided not do it." She said sharply.

"That was a lapse of judgement."

"A lapse of judgment!?"

"Please… " The man interrupted, and looked at Sayuri, "Be quiet for a moment."

She clamped her mouth shut, and sat fuming in her chair. The man turned back to Makishima. "Are you or are you not adopting Onoda?"

"I want to." Makishima said quickly. The man frowned, "Alright, so what's the issue. Your age? How old are you?"

"Twenty six."

"Ah, so you're young. And your wife?"

Makishima paused, "I don't have one."

"Oh." The man said, genuinely surprised, "I see. Single male adoption. That's the issue here, isn't it?" The man's frown stayed, "The CGC has officiated single male adoptions before, but usually to relatives of the child. Are you a relative?"

Makishima shook his head slowly. The man raised an eyebrow, and dropped the file on the table.

"Well, this is… difficult." He started, "Single male adoption to a non relative…I think this might be a first. I would usually deny such a petition, but this boy is high risk. I personally believe that this boy would suffer at a youth home. Single male adoption is allowed in The United States and England, but uncommon, if not unprecedented here in Japan." He stopped, and turned to the director, "Let me see the child."

She blinked, and then nodded to Miss Tendo. Sayuri got up and walked out the door, going to get Onoda.

"From his file, Onoda Sakamichi doesn't seem to be a trouble maker. Was there an event that triggered his behavior?"

The director shook her head, but then stopped, sucking in a breath, "Ah… yes. An event…"

The man waited, "And? What is it?"

"His mother's death. She died a year ago, last month. We didn't make the connection… "

The man sighed and folding his hands. He rested his chin against them. "That's quite the trigger. Children this age are highly susceptible to trauma, and cope with things in very different ways. I was informed that Onoda calls you his mother. Is he confusing you with his mother? Do you look alike?" He turned his gaze to Makishima, who shook his head, remembering that picture that Onoda had drawn, in which Onoda's mother had brown hair. The director agreed.

"No. Nothing alike. I'm pretty sure that Onoda knows that Makishima-san is male, also."

"Was Onoda present when his mother passed?"

Makishima swallowed thickly, as he thought of a four year old Onoda witnessing his mother's death.

The director nodded, "Yes. He was there."

The door opened again, and Onoda appeared. He rushed in at the sight of Makishima, and almost tripped in his eagerness to get to him. "Mama!"

He was wearing a police hat that was far too large for his head, and it was covering those bright eyes of his. He came over to Makishima, and clambered onto his lap. Makishima helped him slightly until he had settled.

The man waved a hand to get Onoda's attention. "Hello? Mr. Policeman?"

Onoda tilted his head back to look at the man from under the hat. Makishima smiled at his ridiculousness, and adjusted the hat so that he could see, uncovering his glasses.

"Oh! There he is!" The man said, his frown gone and his attitude cheery, "Onoda Sakamichi?"

The boy nodded once, the hat falling slightly, and Makishima fixed it again.

"Hi. I am Mr. Sendo. I want to ask you some questions, and when we are done, you can go play with the policemen again."

Onoda pushed up his glasses, "But I wanna stay with mama."

The man nodded, "Oh really? Okay, but hey, why do you call this man your mama?"

Onoda looked up at Makishima, before shrugging. "Mama came to the swings."

"Swings? Are the swings important, Sakamichi?"

Onoda nodded his head.

Miss Tendo spoke up, "Onoda loves the swings. His mother used to take him to the park near the orphanage." Makishima noted the information. It still didn't explain why that particular park, so far away from his home.

Mr. Sendo lifted up a hand slightly, silencing her, "Sakamichi, why are swings important?"

Onoda pulled at the hat on his head, "'Cause Mama said. Hibiki-kun said too. He said that his mama came back because he waited for her."

Mr. Sendo looked surprised at that, "Oh? And so you waited at the swings for your mama? Sakamichi, do you think this is your mama coming back? The same mama?"

Onoda looked at him surprised, and then laughed. "No, Mama is in heaven. Mamashima is new mama."

Mr. Sendo was trying not to frown, "Well, that's all my questions, Sakamichi-chan." He opened a pocket in his bag and pulled out a sucker, "And here! It's candy because your were so good!"

Onoda reached out and grabbed the candy, "Wow! Thank you!" he said brightly.

He turned slightly to face Makishima, "Mama, wanna eat candy?" He whispered.

Makishima saw the frown form on Mr. Sendo's face, "Uh, why don't you eat it?"

Onoda looked away, playing absently with the wrapping, "I not hungry."

Makishima grimaced, "Well, keep it for now, okay? I might want it later."

He beamed, "Okay, Mama. I keep it safe." He stuffed the candy in his ragged jacket.

Mr. Sendo nodded at Sayuri, "You can take him now." He turned to Onoda, "Sakamichi, we have to talk about boring adult things now. Do you think that you could play outside for a little bit?"

Onoda looked back up at Makishima, "Mama stay?"

Makishima put his hand on his head, "Don't worry, I'll be right here."

Onoda nodded, trusting his word completely, "'Kay, Mama! I be good boy."

Miss Tendo reached out a hand to him, and helped him jump off Makishima's lap. Makishima could have been imagining it, but he felt that Sayuri gave him a cold look.

When Onoda was out of earshot, Mr. Sendo exhaled loudly.

"Alright. There is a lot going on here, but I'm glad that Sakamichi understands that you are not his birth mother returning from the beyond. He's an odd case, but it doesn't matter. I've made my choice."

Makishima held his breath. Everything depended on this man's decision.

"Due to the recent events in Onoda's life, I have determined that adoption is the best option right now. To try to rip this boy from his only anchor would put him in a state of vulnerability. He might have formed this relationship singlehandedly, but that doesn't lessen the sort of effect that severing it might have. So, I am giving you the option of applying for the foster to adopt program. I believe that is what would be best for Onoda. But, if another more suitable family comes along, and Onoda responds well to them, you may have to drop your case. Do you understand this?"

Makishima nodded mutely, his heart thumping in his chest.

"Now, a brief summary. The foster to adopt program is an eight month to two year program, where a couple, or in your case, a single man, completes an application called the home study report, and the CGC examines your eligibility to raise a child. Once your eligibility is confirmed, you would take a child to foster for a trial period of six months, in which a social worker from the CGC would pop in periodically to make sure the child is adjusting well. After the six months, you would have the option to legally adopt. From there you would proceed to the family court, and file the legal paperwork. It would come to the CGC and then we would officiate the adoption. A simple process when everything works in tandem. Of course, since you are a …special case, it might not be so." He picked up the file from the table and shoved it back into his bag, "Stop by the CGC here in town to pick up an application. It can take a month to a year to complete, so I would get a move on. You will also probably be required to attend several meetings. While I have authority in making this decision, I might not have the final say. Be as compliant as you can."

"And you," he turned to the director, who stiffened, "You also have to report to the CGC for… this incident. It's alright if a child acts out, but what is wrong is not reporting it the first time."

The director nodded, shamefaced.

"Alright, I'm outta here. Hope to see you soon. I probably won't be involved any longer with this adoption process, but I hope you the best."

Makishima nodded, "Uh…Thank you."

Mr. Sendo bowed and then walked out the door.

There was an awkward moment as he was left alone with the director. She sighed loudly, "Well, I suppose that these next couple of months we'll be seeing an awful lot of each other.

Makishima glanced at her once, before standing up. "I'm coming with Onoda today."

She nodded, "Alright. We'll give you a parent pass. There are certain hours you can come visit. You are not allowed to remove him from the building though, so don't ask."

"Understood." Makishima said tersely.

He looked for and found Onoda. He was with a couple of policemen who were laughing cheerily.

"Onoda?" Makishima called out hesitantly. The cops turned around as Onoda jumped off the chair he was sitting on, and rushed to Makishima's side, "Ah! Mama! I played with all the policemen! They are really, really nice." He went on a mile a minute exclaiming on all that he did.

The director came up along side, and leaned over slightly to talk to Onoda, "Onoda-chan, we have to go now."

Onoda was downcast for a moment, but then extended his hands up to Makishima. "Can mama come with me?"

Makishima smiled softly, and tentatively picked him up, "Yeah, I'll come." He glanced at the tight line of the director's mouth, and then saw the loaded look between her and Miss Tendo.

Onoda managed to distract him though because he snuggled into Makishima's arms looking utterly comfortable.

"I wanna show Mama my colors! And I got Hime back too! Wanna play Mama?"

Makishima smiled faintly, ruffling the boys hair and nodded.

To say that the ride back to Chiba was awkward was quite the understatement. It was long and quiet, and Onoda had fallen asleep mere minutes after the car had started moving. He thanked all deities when they finally arrived at the parking lot of the orphanage. There was a tense air between Miss Tendo and him, and Makishima did not want to butt heads with her.

The children were in their morning classes and Miss Tendo left to find her children, leaving Makishima alone with the director again.

"Momari can help you fill out the paperwork for a pass. She can also tell you the times you can visit and your responsibilities while you are on our property. I hope this…transfer can be done without problems. If you excuse me, I have to go and fill out some paperwork." She looked at Onoda still sleeping soundly on Makishima's arms, "You do know where his bed is right?"

Makishima nodded and watched her go. He turned down the hallway to Onoda's room. It was empty and a little cold for a spring morning, which was why he tucked Onoda in several blankets, swiping a couple from the other children's beds.

"Makishima?"

He glanced up and saw Miss Tendo at the doorway, her face lined with something intense, "I need to speak to you."

Makishima's stomach dropped at those words, because he knew that this was going to be quite the confrontation. He nodded and pulled one last blanket on Onoda's slim body before walking out of the room. Tendo closed the door shut quietly before violently exploding in his face.

"Are you happy, Makishima?!"

Makishima noted distantly that she had dropped the honorific, which was really rude, but he supposed that it was just another clue to how much the woman was enraged, "You just keep coming back! What are you going to do this time, huh?"

Her words were bitter and lashing like whips, and Makishima had to stop himself from reacting the same way, "I'm going to adopt Onoda. That's final."

"FINAL? Do you CARE about him at all Makishima? You know just as well as I do that Onoda needs parents." Makishima opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly shut down by the emphatic woman, "You broke that child. He was saying terrible things. He cried for hours and hours until we thought he was going to have to go to the hospital for dehydration. He said terrible things; things no child should say, should even think about himself. I was there. You hurt him, you nearly damn killed him, and now you want to waltz right in here and do it all over again. You changed your mind? What kind of selfish bastard are you? That a life, Sakamichi is precious, Sakamichi is my responsibility."

Makishima wanted to step away from the woman, to not hear about the pain he had cost the boy, but he also wanted to prove that he was strong, that he could be the parent that Onoda deserved.

"I… I know. I understand..."

"NO! Do NOT say that because YOU were NOT THERE! You didn't have to comfort that child! Telling him it wasn't his fault, that he was precious, telling him that someone would come along and love him. You didn't have to do that! You didn't have to look in the eyes of a dying woman and promise that her son would find a good home! So, NO, I can't just be okay with this, Makishima-san! Sakamichi deserves the best. You are not that. You are not the best for him! You're not what his mother would want!."

Makishima grit his teeth. The reminder of the death of Onoda's mother was like a knife in his gut, and he almost doubled over from the blow, but…he would not waver. Everything she was saying were like daggers, cold and sharp, but he would NOT waver, not again, never again.

He almost wanted to blame her, and if it wasn't for the interference of the people that supposedly loved him, or loved Onoda, none of this would have happened.

At the same time, he appreciated that someone cared for Onoda so passionately like this. He straightened his spine, a swell of passion filling him. He was going to fight, not quietly rebel as he usually did, but full out battle here.

"I don't give a damn about your opinion, Tendo san. I know I don't know of the pain that Onoda went through; I know that I did that to him, and I hate that I did, but I also know what I want. I know myself, and while I agree with you that I am not the ideal choice, I will do everything in my power to give him what he needs and love him like nothing I have ever loved before. I swear..." He paused catching his breath, not remembering the last time he was so adamant about something, "Isn't that enough?"

"Yes, it is Makishima-san. It is."

It wasn't Tendo who said that, unfortunately, but it was good to hear that at least someone was on his side. Shiro had come out of the hallway, watching them with guarded eyes. He was surprised that he did take his side because he had a feeling that Shiro fancied Tendo. She was also taken aback by his declaration judging from the shocked look on her face. "Shiro-san?"

He blinked a couple of times, avoiding her betrayed gaze, "Onoda-chan picked Makishima-san. If he is good enough for Sakamichi then it should be good enough for us."

Tendo looked both angry and annoyed, "Onoda is a child, he doesn't..."

Shiro cut her off quickly, "He knows better than any of us. He's the one that is alone and hurt, but he loves Makishima-san. That's enough... Sayuri, please... "

She stiffened at the use of her first name, but scowled, turning around so that the men couldn't see her face anymore. "I... just want..." She started, but stopped with a shuddering breath. Makishima knew what she meant, "Happy. You want him to be happy. That's... ah that's all I want too. " She glanced back, over her shoulder to give him an unreadable intense look, before sighing and walking out of the hallway. The two men stood there for a second before Shiro clicked his tongue, "Well that went well."

Makishima looked at him, "Thanks for sticking up for me... I ah... appreciate it."

Shiro shrugged, "I just did what's best for the kid. He needs you now...Sayuri was right. Onoda wanted to die, he wanted to go with his mother because you wouldn't take him. To hear a kid say that...well anyways, I'm glad you...wised up. Sakamichi needs you as much as you need him."

It was a horrifying thought to think of Onoda suffering so much. It made his heart clench and his throat tighten painfully.

Yes, he needed Sakamichi too. The boy was as necessary as blood, and as necessary as the heart that Sakamichi had won with his smiles and sweetness.

"Are you going to say bye?" Shiro interrupted his thoughts, heading back to the cot room.

Makishima nodded, following him through the door.

They awoke Onoda gently, and Makishima whispered a goodbye to the half asleep boy, who even in his exhaustion, smiled so brightly.

And that smile lit up his path as he headed back home to Tokyo. He supposed that frequent visits to Chiba would be a new part of his life, but it would be worth it. The next couple of months were going to be new and way out of his normally dull routine.

---

The black binder of death, which Makishima so affectionately called the home study report, was almost completed and the month passed quickly. Time literally did seem to fly by when he was so busy all the time.

Meetings and interviews were new events in his life. There were so many of them that he was starting to get used to the piercing eyes of judgement.

In the month after Onoda's second runaway attempt, Makishima had met with at least a dozen people, most of which were extremely surprised that a single man as young as him would even consider adopting a child before even getting married.

Some said that he didn't have enough experience regarding children and their needs, and while that was true, he pointed out that like all parents, he had to start somewhere. He had bought what seemed like a million books on child development, children tendencies, and parenting, scoured the internet for websites that could help him and, with the help of Thomas, found a pediatrician to discuss Onoda's lack of appetite and bed wetting. He was certainly not lacking in resources, and all he could do now was wait for experience to come. The only way he could get that was if he had a child.

Tadokoro was being most helpful. Well, actually his wife was and while Makishima didn't know her very well, he remembered her being a gentle but strong woman with motherly eyes. No doubt that after raising two kids, and with not one but two on the way, as Tadokoro had informed him that they were having twins, she definitely had experience under her belt.

The interviews tended to be stiff and professional, each one filled with questions on everything that Makishima felt was private. Being the secluded person that he was, answering those question was like selling a piece of his soul.

That wasn't the only thing he was selling though. He made a harsh realization in meeting number three. It was when he met the social worker for Onoda's case. She was a soft smiling older woman, and it was obvious that she laughed a lot judging from the smile wrinkles at the corner of her mouth and eyes. She introduced herself as Mrs. Kizaru Miyata, and though her face was soft, she was all business.

"Mr. Makishima, I went over your application. Although you meet most of the requirements for candidacy to adopt Onoda Sakamichi, I must say that a single male adoption is unprecedented in this adoption agency. Therefore, you will have to cross more hurdles on an already difficult path in order to become Onoda's legal guardian. Do you understand this?"

Makishima nodded quickly. "But that means it's not impossible, right?"

She gave him a small smile, "Of course. Difficult does not translate to impossible, now does it?"

Makishima slumped down in his chair, relief flooding him. This entire month he had been working frantically under the heavy doubt that although he had made up his mind on the matter, Onoda's current caregivers wouldn't let it happen.

This lady was the first to tell him that it could happen. That it wasn't impossible.

"Thanks..." Makishima murmured quietly, truly grateful.

"You are not the first single male that I've worked with. My job is to insure that you are capable of taking care of a child, and determine the quality of life that child will have. And lastly, but most importantly, if the child will grow with love and care." She reached into her bag and pulled out that huge black binder that still appeared in Makishima's nightmares sometimes. "Although in this case, I'm almost sure that Onoda-chan has already made the decision pretty clear."

Makishima frowned at that, "What? What does that mean?"

Mrs. Miyata smiled again, and it became obvious why her smile wrinkles were so prominent, "I met Onoda-chan before our meeting, Makishima-san. He was very adamant in the fact that you were fated to be his "Mama". While I usually discourage these types of stubborn delusions, one look at that child and I knew that nothing I said or could think of saying would change that boy's mind. He made his decision. He's just waiting for the rest of the world to agree with him."

Makishima grinned, remembering those determined eyes. It was so odd that such a sweet little boy had such a steely will power.

"Regardless of that boy's choice, the country of Japan and the adoption agency make the final decision in the end."

Makishima nodded, "Right."

"Well, now that that is settled, let us look at your application. There were some glaring issues in it. There are a couple of things that are hindering you from being eligible to adopt. Let's start with the most notable."

She went on and told him that despite his good financial standing, the fact was that Makishima shared a three bedroom condo with his brother. If Onoda were to move into this home, a background check and inquiry would have to be attained from his brother.

Makishima knew that was asking for a little too much. He told her as much.

"If that's so, you have to find a suitable living space for you and a child. You have to do this quickly because the agency is already looking for bad marks on your application. This is the most prominent one as of right now." She reached into her bag again and took out a folder, sliding it across the table, "Here. That is some class information that you should check into. You are awfully young, so any help you can get would be better. My advice is to ask lots of questions to your friends that have children in order to get a more substantial answers. Books and articles are helpful but there is nothing like war weary parents."

She glanced at her watch, and started to clean up.

Makishima was eager for more information, and wanted to ask so many more questions but he didn't know where to start. All the other people he had talked to simply told him how difficult raising a child could be, but none really explained to him how he could learn. They were too busy trying to talk him out of it.

Mrs Miyata must have read his helpless expression, because she patted the folder gently, "Don't worry Makishima-san, I'm here to help you adopt Onoda-chan. If you're willing to learn and devote time to it, you won't feel so overwhelmed. Next time we meet, we'll discuss some of your questions. We have to go over Onoda's past and the tendencies, mindset and current issues he has developed because of it."

Makishima nodded again, and stood up. "Thank you very much." He said, as he made his way to the exit of the small cramped office.

"Oh, and Makishima-san..."

Makishima paused at the door, looking back at her, "Yes?"

"Call me if you find yourself…wavering. There is always some point in the adoption process where a potential parent begins to lose hope. If that happens…"

"It won't," Makishima said resolutely, "but thanks"

She smiled, almost knowingly, and nodded. "Alright then. See you soon, sir."

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur. Between new parent classes, CGC orientation, interviews and meetings, Makishima was beginning to grow weary. His insomnia was not so much a problem anymore, because the minute he got home he would usually try and read some of the books he had bought, only to fall asleep, his tired body giving out.

There was another benefit to his new busy schedule. When he was at work, he relished in designing. His ideas and patterns were starting to make sense. When the stress of all the adoption drama was getting to him, he would often gravitate to his sketchbook and mock ups. It was refreshing. The same work that had been stifling him now became a stress reliever. He wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing, but someone noticed.

His brother knocked on his office door, one day, a work binder in his hand. "Hey...are you busy?" He said hesitantly, and looked like he wished it were so.

Makishima shook his head, "No. Do you need something?"

He sighed and stepped in the room, still as if on eggshells and seated himself in the neon green armchair, "I need to...talk about this." He put the design binder on the desk, his eyebrows coming down in a typical Makishima fashion, eternally frowning.

"Okay. I'm actually glad you came by. I need to talk about something with you too."

His brother straightened, dark eyes showing surprise, "Is this about…that?" he asked slowly.

Makishima pushed away his keyboard and folded his arms, leaning forward on the table. He didn't shy away from his brother's guarded gaze, blue clashing with brown. "Yes. It has to do with Onoda."

He responded by taking a deep breath and leaning back in the chair, hands coming up to touch the edge of the arms. "Okay then, you first."

Makishima also steeled himself, hoping that this conversation wouldn't turn out like the last one they had concerning Onoda, almost a month and a half ago. Still, this decision probably wouldn't be taken very well.

"I'm going to move out."

It was still for a moment, and that was expected but the moment began to grow frightening long, and Makishima shifted uncomfortably as it continued.

He had thought a lot about it. He could ask his brother to allow Onoda to move in, but his brother's hostility to the matter made it clear that exposing the young child to potential dislike was not a good idea. That was part of the reason. The other one was more obvious. His brother was young, and successful, and Makishima owed a lot of who he was now to him. He should really try and stop pushing his decisions on his brother. It was affecting him, and although this was his life, and he could do what he wanted with it, he still loved his brother. Moving out of the house was a viable and necessary action.

Makishima pulled at his hair, waiting for his brother's exclamation. He watched as he clenched his jaw, a hand coming to run through short black hair letting out a long breath, finally opening his mouth to speak, "When?"

His brother sometime surprised him in his reactions. Sometimes he could be calm and reasonable, and at others he was a stubborn jackass.

Makishima scratched his face, averting his eyes, "Soon. I'm going to start looking for a house soon."

That got a reaction, "Wait? An actual house? Do you…" his voice was becoming a little louder, shock apparent in his tone, "Do you even know how to buy a house?"

Makishima shrugged, "I'll figure it out."

His brother stood up, "This is...this is insane,Yuusuke! You…." He paced quickly along the desk, his eyes glaring into the wooden floors, "It's not something you can do on a whim! You don't need to move out…"

Makishima's eyes widened. What was his brother offering?

"I mean...I know that you want to do this but you're...you might be jumping the gun here…"

He raised his hand as he noticed Makishima brow furrow harder, "I know, I know. You're not going to change your mind about this. I've given up on trying to talk some sense into you, but...what if it doesn't happen? You'll be doing something outrageously risky. I'm not saying to stop..just be...be careful. If it does happen, and you adopt the kid...well, you could put him in the office room. But, moving out is unnecessary…"

Makishima smiled faintly at his worried ranting. His brother was so forcefully caring. It was a trait that caused as much trouble as it invoked fondness. He cared and loved with so much passion that at times he just trampled all over the feeling and needs of others. He was only four years older, but he acted more fatherly than his own parents sometimes.

Makishima caught his frustrated glare, "Yuusuke! This isn't funny! I'm being serious here." He dropped himself in the neon armchair, frowning hard.

Makishima attempted to look apologetic, but just the thought of Onoda in the same living space with his overcaring impatient brother made him laugh, "Are you saying that you'll move your office and turn it into a kids room?"

His brother looked so horrified for a moment, but he nodded nevertheless, "Yeah..for a time. Until you get a home."

Makishima settled back into his white shagged office chair, looking at his brother, "You know this is a five year old boy, right? He is loud, messy and sometimes cries. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

His brother looked uncomfortable for a second, his eyes bouncing around the room before finally stopping. "I won't be around much, anyways. It won't matter."

Makishima sighed. For a moment there, he was actually considering letting Onoda move into their home. But, now he saw that his brother had not changed his mind about the adoption. He was simply trying to control it, make it happen according to his terms. And while exposing the man to the charms of the little boy would probably change his brother's state of mind, it was not a good idea to have Onoda be stifled by the grumpy overbearing man.

"Thanks for the offer..." he started.

His brother tensed, reading his tone, "But?"

"...but I think I need to leave. As long as I stay at home, my decisions will continue to bother you. I want to start fresh with Onoda."

The man slumped down in his chair, looking utterly defeated. There was unspoken words in the air that didn't need to be voiced in order to be understood.

His brother sighed loudly, and reached forward to flip open the work binder he had brought. "Alright, whatever." He said dismissively, his tone rough. Apparently, that was the end of this conversation. "I guess let's talk about this." He pointed with a long finger to the opened binder.

Makishima looked across the table to the page he was pointing at. It was one of his revised designs, and he instantly knew what his brother was going to say.

"Where did this come from?"

Makishima shrugged, "I know it's different, but it's not that weird. You usually like eccentric."

His brother actually rolled his eyes, "Yes, but even your color scheme is…"

"I know…" Makishima replied, playing with one of his pencils, rolling it back and forth on the desk. "Should I redo it?"

"No. It's...It's beautiful."

Makishima looked up, making sure that it was indeed the man sitting across from him that had said those words, "Wha-"

His brother flipped through the pages again, "I can see your theme, your inspiration, the story your telling here. It's…" he paused, his fingers edging the paper, "It's art again."

Makishima stared at him. This was...unexpected.

"I've always been jealous of the way you don't give a damn about what other people think. You never say anything about it, but you're always so silently defiant. Your art has always been...real. Nothing forced or artificial about it except for the last year. This last year I thought you had…" He closed the book abruptly, and halting his current vein of talk, "Anyways,good job. It's a nice change. I was thinking we could present this at the local fall show."

Makishima was surprised, "That's cutting it a little close, isn't it? They haven't even been mocked up yet."

His brother shrugged, "Yeah, it's risky but at least I know that this will peak interest again. It'll be worth it so work on the rest of the ensemble."

Makishima nodded, as his brother stood up and headed out the door.

"Hey, wait…" Makishima called out suddenly. His brother glanced back at him,eyebrows raised, "Yeah?"

Makishima cleared his throat. His brother had said a lot of weird things today but one thing stuck out the most to him, "You talked about the story I'm telling. What do you see?"

The man stiffened slightly, and turned just a little so that Makishima could see his face. His expression was lined with something Makishima couldn't put his finger on.

"Happiness. I see pure happiness."

He left the office, apparently deciding not to comment further.

Makishima smiled, a thin smile full of pride and self accomplishment.

Of course it was. Onoda had too much joy to spare, and it dripped on his designs like spilled ink.

Happiness.

---

Makishima was dreading the beginning of this conversation. He watched placidly as Mr. Yamada situated himself, organizing the contents on his desk, as if getting ready for war.

Makishima grimaced, hoping that that particular analogy was not close to being true.

"Well, I've been informed that you went ahead and applied for adoption and have already met with the CGC's social worker. Is this correct?"

Makishima nodded, unsure how to respond without sounding rude.

"I see. So despite our warnings and concerns, you still believe that your are qualified to care for a child?"

Makishima clenched his teeth, and once again nodded.

Mr Yamada folded his hands together, and peered at Makishima over frameless glasses. The look was pure judgement. Makishima tried not to let it get to him, but damnit was it was aggravating.

Mr. Yamada reminded him of his 10th grade homeroom teacher. Everything that Makishima did, he took as a personal insult, from the way he wrote in his notebook to his manner of walking. Looking back at it now, Makishima wondered how he had survived.

He leveled his gaze at his enemy now, and thought that Mr. Yamada and his old homeroom teacher just might be related.

"I suppose that there is no helping it." He said, and then opened the folder in his lap. "Lets begin. Because this is an unprecedented case, it may be awhile before you are notified of your eligibility. Typically, the process starts with an eligible couple looking to adopt a child going through the CGC, applying for the foster to adopt program. After their approval, they foster a child for a minimum of six months, with the social worker from the CGC making sure that the child is fitting well in their new home. After the trial period, the family would apply for the adoption allowance in the family court." He flipped through some of the paper in his folder, continuing on in his monotone voice, "That is what should happen. Unfortunately, you decided to do everything backwards which makes the process that much more tedious."

Makishima wanted to shrug. He didn't know why he was telling him all this. He had already completed the application from hell, the homestudy report, and had gone through what had seemed a hundred hours of meetings. He already knew all this information, but he restrained himself, also knowing that no good would come from him pointing that out.

"Despite our disapproval, the state has marked Onoda as a high risk case, and has waived certain protocols in your favor."

Makishima almost let a smug smile form, but he tightened his lips at the last moment.

"Wouldn't that make this easier?" Makishima asked carefully, trying not to sound victorious.

Mr. Yamada frowned, the tips of his lips turning downward very dramatically.

"No, it makes it harder. We still disapprove of your candidacy. Just because you won the CGC over doesn't mean that you have won yet, Makishima-san."

What was with this guy? Why was he against the idea so much? He could understand Miss Tendo's reasoning, but not this man's.

"Mr. Yamada, why are you so against me adopting Onoda? I mean, have you even met Sakamichi?"

The man blinked, and froze for a second. "Whether I met him or not hardly matters. I am the liaison between the adoption agency and the state. I just want to make sure that these kids get good homes."

Makishima scratched his head, "So, you haven't."

"As I said, it doesn't-"

"It does. If you bothered to meet Onoda, you would know that I am the best thing for him right now, and you wouldn't be here trying to stop me every step of the way."

There was steel and hostility in his voice, and Mr. Yamada looked both offended and surprised by the accusation. He opened his mouth and clamped it shut again, seemingly fuming.

"Sir, don't pretend to know my intentions."

"I don't care about your intentions. All I know is that Onoda needs me, and you're the one in the way. Its not fair to him if you have a bone to pick with me."

The air was tense between them, and a minute passed before Mr. Yamada spoke through clenched teeth. "Fine. I'll give it to you straight, Makishima-san, since you are so inclined to know. I don't like that the state is bending for you because you have influence. Never before has a single man been even allowed to apply for adoption, and you come along, and everything just falls in your lap. It's fine when you people get what you want out there, but when it comes to my job, I am going to make sure you work for it. Money won't get you what you want here."

Makishima gaped at him. This was about money? Did Mr. Yamada have something against rich people?

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, probably embarrassed at his outburst, but his eyes were so hard.

Mashima didn't know how to respond. Was he suppose to sympathize with him? Set him straight? He was literally blaming him for something that he didn't have control over. Sure, he made a nice living now, through his fashion, but his parent's money was theirs. He and his brother had made it mostly without the guiding hand of their mother and father. In fact, his brother had started the label with combined money from both their internships.

While it was true that they had never been without, Makishima had always worked hard for the things he had. Mr. Yamada had no right to tell him otherwise.

His voice was dangerously low as he spoke, "Yamada-san, you are against Onoda's adoption because you think I'm too rich?"

The man fumed, "Of course not. A better financial standing is better for a child. Had his mother had that, she wouldn't have had to give him over to the state to care for. No, the problem is that you want the impossible done and it's happening! The state is making me consider your petition!"

Makishima wanted to reach over and slap the man upside the head. "This is about Onoda not your grudge against wealthy people. What does anything you're complaining about have to do with me being Sakamichi's parent?"

"Everything! I don't think you deserve to get everything you want!"

This conversation was going nowhere. Makishima was sick of talking to him, so he stood up, and although he wasn't all that tall, he towered over the man at the desk, his hair falling over his face.

"Mr. Yamada, I would rather not have my lawyer involved, but if this continues, I'll be forced to take action."

The man muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a curse and also stood up. "Do want you must. I also hope to proceed peacefully." He said, the words biting.

"Alright then. I suppose I'll see you soon." Makishima said quietly, and left the office.

He was furious.

He had forgotten how stupidly single minded people could be. All this crap he had to go through because one man was a freaking idiot with bitter resentment.

All he could hope for now was that he had showed Mr. Yamada that he was not going to back down.

---

That charged meeting changed a lot of things.

Mr. Yamada's revenge was swift and cruel.

The next week, Makishima got a phone call from the Child Guidance Centre, and they told him that his visitation to Onoda at the orphanage were no longer allowed.

Makishima cursed at the woman who delivered the deathblow.

He was going to kill that bastard. Couldn't he just let this go?

He dialed the only person that he could think of.

"This is Miyata, Go ahead."

"This is Makishima Yusuke. I need to talk to you." Makishima said urgently pacing up and down his room. He shrugged off his jacket, and threw it on his bed. He had actually been ready to visit Onoda when he got the dreadful call.

"Makishima-san? I didn't expect a call from you. You sounded quite solid in your decision." She said, "Have you changed your mind?"

"No, that's not it." Makishima said, clearly frustrated, "I got a call from the CGC today. They told me I can't visit Sakamichi anymore. Is this the agency's fault?"

There was a pause on the phone, and he heard the sound of paper rustling.

"Ah...I see." Was the reply

"What? Why did they do that? "

He heard Mrs. Miyata sigh, the sound rasping through the phone, carrying weariness. "Well, there is good new, and bad news. Well, besides the bad news you already know."

Makishima groaned. Great, more bad news. Just his luck. "What is it? "

"The bad news?"

"Yeah, what is it?" Makishima said impatiently. No matter the good news, it never out weighed the bad news, in his opinion.

"Well, the council decided that it is in the child's, Onoda Sakamichi in this case, best interest to be a time without the influence the petitioning party, you Makishima-san, in order to determine the child's well being."

"What...?" Makishima said, his tone dropping an octave.

"Hmmmm, this is strange. Someone filed for Clause 71.5. I suppose in this case that's not too outrageous..."

"Can you you explain to me what all that means?" Makishima wanted to leap through the phone and wring the answers out of the woman.

"Ah? Oh. Well, to put it simply, you aren't allowed to influence Onoda in anyway until the CGC determines if the child is being influenced to act out."

It wasn't making any sense, "They think I'm making Sakamichi run away?"

"Its only a precaution. Usually, Clause 71.5 is for a parent trying to reclaim their child from the state. The agency would file the report if they believed that a child was told or forced to do something for the benefit of the parent, or in your case, the petitioning party."

Makishima exhaled raggedly, "Was it Mr. Yamada?"

"The agency's liaison? Let me see…" He heard clicking of a keyboard, waiting, rage rolling in his stomach. "Yes. Mr. Yamada filed the report. He really doesn't like you, does he?"

"No! He's holding a grudge. Isn't that a conflict of interests? Can't you do something about it?"

"I'm just a social worker, Makishima-san, not a lawyer."

Makishima tightened his grasp on the phone, squeezing the plastic, "Will I have to hire a lawyer? Is that what I have to do?"

Mrs. Miyata sighed, "If thats what you want to do, I suppose you can, but it won't do much help. You're best chance is through the CGC. I suppose you can go through a private sector, and buy your way in, which is of course, what Mr. Yamada wants. You would have to pay an insurmountable amount of money to get past him."

He was thinking that he would just have to kidnap Onoda. This adoption bull was getting to be too much.

"How long am I not allowed to visit?" He asked, thinking back to his last visit with Onoda.

"Well, three months is standard…"

That was a horrifying amount of time to not see the boy, but if it helped the process, then he would have to grit his teeth and do it.

"And then the foster trial happens. By that time, I should be able to foster Onoda, right?"

Mrs. Miyata was quiet, and Makishima swallowed hard, "That is the other bad news. Because of the...uniqueness of this case, and the filing of Clause 71.5, the foster period won't happen."

"What…?"

"I'm sorry. This is unprecedented. Mr. Yamada really threw a wrench in here, but what he did is a double edged sword and he probably hasn't realized it yet."

Makishima was reeling, so he grasped at her words, "What is it?"

"By submitting the report, he had to file an additional form that states you to be guardian of Onoda Sakamichi. Meaning, in a roundabout sort of way, the liaison of the agency has accepted you as eligible. Otherwise, this clause wouldn't work. He must've filed these papers in a fit a rage to make such a mistake." He could see Mr. Yamada racing to the CGC in a furious stupor to stab his knife in the woodwork. "So, while this looks bad, it's actually a help in the long run."

"So….that means that I can adopt him…?"

He could hear the woman's smile as she spoke. "Yes. With this acceptance, and the completed home study report, you are eligible to adopt. Of course, these next couple of months will be a true test of patience and endurance."

"But…?" Makishima asked, tense and apprehensive.

"But," Mrs. Miyata continued, "in the end, it will be Onoda's vote that counts. Do you feel confident in that?"

Makishima stopped his pacing, and let out a breath. If there was anyone in the world he could trust in not changing his mind, it was Onoda Sakamichi.

"I thought so. That being said, we have a meeting on Thursday at 2:00 p.m. Be there. There are a lot of things we have to talk about."

"Right. I'll be there...and thanks."

"My pleasure. See you soon."

He hang up and dropped backwards on his bed.

Now, the problem is surviving all of this without the reward of the boy's company and how to tell him that he was going to disappear for 3 months. Was there a way to communicate with him? Talk on the phone? Letters? He thought of Shiro, the friendly black haired man. He could perhaps use him as a lifeline.

He stood up suddenly. If he left now, he could sneak over to the orphanage and warn Onoda of what was happening.

At the very least he could try.

---

It was like he was trying to invade the country. Mr. Yamada had not hesitated in telling of his victory to the rest of the staff. Even Momari, the lady at the front desk, who always smiled widely at Makishima when he visited, looked away sheepishly when he entered. "Uh...You're not allowed to be here, Makishima-san."

Makishima nodded, "I know. I won't be back for awhile. I just wanted to personally tell Onoda."

Momari ducked her head, and lowered her voice, "I know. If you don't come back, I bet Saka-chan is going to leave again. He's like a mouse. No one knows how he sneaks out."

Makishima nodded his head eagerly, "Right, but if I tell him…"

"But you're not allowed! We were warned!"

"What about Shiro-san?"

Momari shook her head, "No. He's off today."

"And he wouldn't be able to help you anyways."

Makishima and Momari jumped at the sound of a new voice in the conversation. Makishima turned and clashed eyes with Sayuri Tendo.

He grimaced automatically. Out of everyone in the world, Miss Tendo was probably the worst one to come across.

"Makishima-san, you are not allowed to be here." She said quietly.

Makishima steeled himself, "I know. I just want to tell Onoda. He should probably hear it from me. I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

Miss Tendo sighed, and her stiff shoulders lowered slightly. "Well...alright."

Makishima looked at her wide eyed. He had not expected her acceptance. He already had his arguments lined and ready to launch if someone confronted him. He had thought over all the possible scenarios in his head on the way over here. He expected all hell to break loose.

"C'mon then. You only have five minutes." She turned and walked down the hallway. He glanced at an equally perplexed Momari, and then quickly followed the woman.

She made her way quickly to a room where children were playing with a drawn on balloon.

Among them was Onoda watching the yellow balloon with fascinated eyes.

"Sakamichi! Come here please."

The boy looked at the doorway and spotted both Miss Tendo and Makishima. "Mama!"

He rushed over and beamed up at Makishima, grabbing the extremely long split sleeve of Makishima's turtleneck. "Mama! I made mama balloon!" He pointed to the corner of the room, where on a chair was a green balloon sitting on a desk scribbled on.

"Oh? Are you going to show me?"

"Yeah, yeah!" He rushed over and picked up his balloon, and trotted over to Makishima, "I put red too, 'cause mama's hair is red too!"

Makishima looked at the balloon and the face drawn there. Of course, it was smiling and not terrifyingly like his real grimace.

Miss Tendo crouched down, "Sakamichi, do you remember what I told you this morning? About Makishima-san coming to talk to you about something?"

Onoda nodded, " Yup, I 'member."

Miss Tendo looked up at Makishima with an expectant gaze. So, she had known, or at least assumed he was coming today.

He took a deep breath, readying himself. "Sakamichi, I am still your mama, and I'm trying to get you to come with me, but we can't see each other for awhile." Onoda's eyes widened at that.

"Mama is leaving?"

Makishima shook his head, "No, not leaving. I just can't visit you for a little while. Three… three months." It was hitting him, how long three months actually were, "Uh… 91 days." He lifted his hand and opened and closed them ten times trying to make him understand.

Onoda sniffled and Makishima stiffened. There was no way he would leave if Onoda started to cry and call out to him like the last time he had to leave. He did not, would not go through that again, never again.

"Mama is gonna be gone for…", he looked down at hands, fingers spread, "long time. A lot of days?"

Makishima was contemplating living in the kitchen or something. This was terribly cruel of that bastard Yamada, "Yes, a long time, but I will come back. I promise."

Those were the magic words because his eyes lit up. "Mama promise! How many days?"

"Ninety-one."

The more he said it, the more his heart was sinking. What was he going to do now? How was he going to survive?

Onoda nodded, "Okay." He blinked up at Makishima, "Nine one day. On last day, Mama is gonna come back. Mama promise?"

Makishima crouched down, and put his hands on the boys shoulders, making eye contact, "Yes. Sakamichi. I promise."

Onoda beamed, "Okay! Mama have to keep promises! But...ah, I'm going to miss Mama! A lot, a lot! Imma gonna miss Mama!"

Makishima swallowed hard, and nodded, "I'm going to miss you too, but we have to. Only for a little bit."

Onoda nodded, and stepped forward and hugged him. Makishima returned the embrace, squeezing a little too tight, trying to remember how this felt to save him later on, so he could not go crazy in the months that were coming.

A voice interrupted them, "Ah.. it is time to go, Sakamichi." Miss Tendo said gently, but Onoda hugged tighter for a second before stepping away.

Already, Makishima was missing him.

He stood up and placed a hand on his head. Onoda preened under his touched,

"Mama, I love you! I'm gonna miss you lots, but I will be a good boy for…", he lifted up his hands, fingers outstretched, "nine one days."

Makishima choked on his heart, because it had leapt in his throat after Onoda's words. He was going to have such a hard time letting the boy go, and he wondered how in the hell had he done it the first time.

"I love you too, Sakamichi, I'll be here. Ninety one days. I promise."

Miss Tendo put a hand on Onoda's shoulder, handing him the balloon of Makishima, "Okay, Onoda, go back with the rest of the class."

Onoda's face tightened for a moment, and then he hugged Makishima around the waist and left, jumping back into the game.

Makishima was regretting everything right now, and he wanted to make an excuse to stay for a little bit longer.

"Makishima-san…May I speak with you. Outside?"

Miss Tendo. Of course. He nodded at her and followed her out the door, stopping to glance at Onoda.

The boy froze and smiled at him, wiggling his hands, waving goodbye furiously. Makishima full out smiled at him, and waved back, trying to keep the image in his sight for as long as possible.

He finally left and met Miss Sayuri Tendo in the hall.

Her face was drawn and Makishima really hoped that they were not going to have another confrontation. "I…I want to apologize for my actions. I was wrong, and I realize that now." Her voice trembled, but she held eye contact. "I assumed a lot of things and I overstepped my boundaries as a caregiver."

Makishima just watched her as she blinked furiously, "I love Onoda. I was with him when his mother died. She loved him so much. I watched them, and I thought, 'They don't deserve this,Sakamichi, Onoda-san, they both deserve happiness, to live a long life together' but it didn't happen." She was crying now and Makishima was distressed, not knowing how to deal with her state of emotion and what she was saying. He wondered if it was Shiro's word that had convinced her to change her mind about him. Or maybe it was Onoda himself. "I promised her that day that I would make sure Onoda had a good home. For one year I dreamed of the couple that would come through those doors and take him, but you came. You weren't what I wanted, so I hated it, hated you! I was stupid and selfish, and I did so much wrong. All I kept thinking about was how you could never fulfill the dream I had for Onoda, so i tried to stop you! But! But, you love him! And that is..that is all he needs! So, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Makishima frowned and nodded, jaw tight with strain. "It's… it's alright. I… I know this is weird, but I'm glad that you care for him like this… uh… That people care for him too."

Miss Tendo wiped at her face, brushing away tears, and smiled a full smile, a real smile for the first time since they had met. She reached out a hand, "So, I'm sorry, and…I want to help you. I'll make sure Onoda is safe, and reference you and such. Mr. Yamada doesn't like you, but we do here. I think…" She looked young again, the worry lines gone and the brow unwrinkled, "I think Onoda-san would have liked you very much. She would have picked you too."

Makishima took the hand, shaking it in a very American way.

"Don't worry, Makishima-san," she said, squeezing his fingers comfortingly, "You have proved yourself. You will be a great father, and Onoda…will love being your son."

Makishima gave her a grateful look.

He believed her.

Now all he had to do was survive.

---

The man was very excited as he pointed to the two story house that was in a "good part" of town. "This house I think you will like very much."

Makishima looked at it, fairly unimpressed. It was nice, from the solid look of the front entrance to the wide entryway.

Unfortunately, Makishima couldn't see Onoda running around in this house.

"What do you think?"

Makishima shrugged. "It's not bad."

The man eagerly showed him the picture of one of the rooms. There were carpeted floors, a light beige color that looked good with the paint on the walls, but all he could see was Onoda spilling drink after drink on the fabric floors.

"This...isn't what I'm looking for…" He confessed.

The real estate agent sighed. "Makishima-san, this is the fifth house that you have denied. Are you sure you don't have anymore preferences that you would like to tell me about?"

"I don't like the carpets.." he muttered, "And these windows are too small…There aren't enough trees...or open space. It's too close to the road."

The man stuttered, "W-w-well! Sir, you didn't tell me about any of those when we started looking."

"I didn't think of them."

He felt the annoyance from the man, but he just nodded and scribbled down a couple of notes. "Well, I have a couple of more to look at here…" He fumbled with the pictures, spilling a couple on the ground. Makishima spotted something, a lone house on a hill. He reached down and picked it up, "What's this?"

The man shuffled through the pictures on his desk, barely glancing over to the picture in Makishima's hand, "Ah, that? You wouldn't be interested."

Makishima raised an eyebrow at him, and the man understood that Makishima was indeed interested, "Ah, of course. Allow me to explain. This house is a two story home, with a nice backyard, and cheery environment. Unfortunately, it is in Chiba, so therefore...out of your preference zone."

Makishima looked at the house. It was a deep mahogany color, and the way it sat, made it seem mystical. The way the sun glinted on the edges, as if fingers were reaching out to touch the house. The curve of the slight hill and the numerous tree surrounding the front made Makishima curious, "You haven't sold this? It's a beautiful house. Why not?"

"Ah...well…" the man smiled sheepishly, "It's a very nice turnoff is that it sits atop a very steep hill. A car wouldn't be a problem, but on foot or bike, as many of the resident moving around there perfer, it is just much too taxing."

Makishima thumbed over the gloss of the picture. He could see it clearly. Onoda running around underneath those trees, trying to race him up the hill to get home, and being utterly exhausted halfway there, to the point that Makishima would have to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way..

As a climber, the hill was a very appealing idea.

But Chiba….

He would have to commute an hour and a half to work. Quite the distance. Not terrible, but still…

"Well, Mr. Makishima, I have some other homes that perhaps -"

Makishima shook his head, "You know what...I'll look at this one." He said, pointing to the picture of the house on the hill, "Show it to me."

The man frowned, "But...this isn't in your preference margin."

"I know."

"But you...want to see it nevertheless?"

Makishima nodded.

The man wiped his forehead, looking very confused indeed, "Well...ah..if you insist. I will set a date."

Makishima nodded, and standing up, he picked up the picture from the desk, "Mind if I take this?"

The real estate agent shook his head, "No! Go right ahead." He stood and bowed , "I look forward to doing business with you."

Makishima bowed his head. "Likewise."

It took two weeks for the house visit. Those two weeks were so long and empty. He did a lot of shopping, even more reading, his cycling was insane and yet not enough, and his designs at work were reflecting his depressed mood. He hadn't realized how much of his time he spent with Onoda.

The real estate agent was sweating when Makishima got out of the cab that stopped at the private road that led up to the house he was seeing. Being in Chiba again made Makishima's heart lurch. He was only a half hour drive from Onoda, and he couldn't see him. This made the separation much more painful.

"Makishima-san? The house is ready to view. It's just up the hill but, if you would rather take the cab up.,it might be a good idea. The hill is a torture." he suddenly clapped his hand over his mouth and turned sheepishly to Makishima, "Ah..I mean, it's rather a taxing trip, but of course it is great exercise! And it's a private house too! It has a nice view of the Province."

Makishima looked up to the hill. It was rather steep. Hidden at the top was a house from the picture. He glanced at the man, and gestured up, "It's alright. I'll walk."

"Of course! Well, follow me I suppose."

The hill was...what was the word he used? Taxing? Well, it was definitely that. As a climber, Makishima wished that he had his bike. This trip would have been a piece of cake had he ridden his way to the top. He didn't converse as the real estate man seemed to be struggling as he made his way up.

The path seemed to become narrower the farther they went up, and the trees on either side stretched out their limbs over the road, giving it a canopy. As they entered the shaded area, Makishima blinked as it suddenly felt dark. It was so strange. The light was diluted through the green leaves darkening the rest of the way. "We can cut back these branches if you want, get rid of this patch of overgrown trees." The man huffed, wheezing slightly. Makishima felt bad for him.

Makishima didn't respond. He wasn't sure how he felt about the canopy. It was strange, but not...bad.

It was different.

They traveled the rest of the way in the cool shade of the trees, a light beckoning them to the end.

When they left the semi tunnel of trees, Makishima blinked at the sight before him. The light seemed like an explosion of color after the cool darkness of the green overhang. The trees gave way to a large yard, as if guarding it. It was almost noon, so the sun was high in the sky, but the house looked at its center, tall and proud. It was aged, judging from the slightly wooden frames and peeling paint. But despite all this, the house presented itself like a castle on a hill. It shone, its large glass windows like eyes. Behind it, the ground sloped down and overlooked the roads, houses, and grassy fields.

Makishima looked down at the man next to him who was still catching his breath. "I'll take it."

"Wha! I mean…" His eyes were wide and he dropped his briefcase, "Makishima-san...you..you haven't even seen inside.."

There was no question about it. Onoda would love this house.

Makishima shrugged, "I like the hill. I like the windows. It has wooden floors and trees. It's all I need to know."

The man's eyes were still wide as he bent over and picked up his dropped bag. "I...ah...I see." He wiped his forehead, and seemed at a loss as to what to do. "Well...the paperwork..Well it's at the office…" He gave Makishima such a confused look, "You don't want to go inside?"

"No, I'll go in. It won't change my mind, though."

"Ah, alright...Ah, let me go to this district's office and pick the property papers. Uh the fees are…"

"Yeah, I'll pay them. I already talked to my bank. They'll be contacting you soon."

The man was thrown off his axis and he was having a hard time getting back on it.

"Right...I see...Well, I'll be back...soon. The house is open...so..you could..look?"

Makishima nodded and the man turned and almost ran down the hill.

There was no pathway to the front door, so Makishima simply walked over green grass to the front porch. There was a lantern hanging there, the glass slightly warped with age. It wasn't needed because there was a porch light, but it fit the rest of the house nicely.

He opened the front door and peered inside.

It smelled musty, and there was a light layer of dust over everything, but it didn't lessen the house's grandness The wide archway, split into three ways, one up wooden stairs, another one to the left, and the other way to a room with large windows.

He stepped into the room to the left, the sitting with warm aged wooden floors, looking bright in the sun's beams. There was dirt and grime, and Makishima walked around careful to avoid the messes.

He explored the rest of the house, assigning a job to each room, even Onoda's room and his office. The house overlooked a large part of the district, its winding road and greenery. Makishima thought he could buy a couple of cherry trees so the yard would look magical in the spring.

There was a knock at the door, and Makishima left the room he was planning for Onoda to open it.

"Makishima-san! I have the…" The real estate agent had returned, and was looking tired and weary but excited all at once. "pa-papers. Would you…" he puffed, "like to sign them? Now?"

Makishima pitied him and nodded, "Yeah. Where are the nearest schools, by the way?"

The real estate slumped against the porch pillar, "Ah? Element- I wasn't aware you had a…" he looked stricken as he continued the sentence, "a family...or children. I don't mean to offend! I just…"

Makishima couldn't care less what the man had assumed, but he corrected him nevertheless.

"It's fine. I have a son."

Makishima blinked at his words. He had a son. A son!

While it was not technically true, as he had not yet adopted Onoda, that resolution still stood. It was just around the corner, almost reachable.

He hadn't seen Onoda in almost two months and the separation was affecting him terribly.

But.

He had a son.

"Oh! Well, the nearest is Sakura Elementary, and a little down the road there is Homare Kindergarten, and Seibo Maria Kindergarten."

He was actually thinking of putting Onoda in a private school in Tokyo near his office because the hour distance between here and his work place somewhat frightened him. In case something happened… He would be an hour away.

Then again, he wasn't going to work much in the months after Onoda's hopeful move to Makishima's house, though, so he would deal with Onoda's schooling then instead.

"Okay, well, where do I sign?"

The man became a flurry of emotion and he pulled out the papers, giving them to Makishima, pen in hand.

"Was…Was everything to your liking?"

Makishima nodded absently. He stared at the line where he was to write his name, reading it quickly. The agreement was long and the words complicated, and Makishima just wanted to sign it and get it over with, but he trudged through, asking the man questions when something made him frown. Eventually, he had read through it all and he signed his name in all the required spots.

The real estate babbled out the last of the information that he had to know, and thanked him for his service, handing him the keys.

"I hope you and you son enjoy your new home."

Makishima nodded, and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking up at the house.

He knew in his heart that Onoda would love this house, and that was all he cared about.

He locked the door, deciding to return sometime later. He went down the hill, drifting around aimlessly, familiarizing himself with his new surroundings. He had grown up in Chiba, and his family owned some land and houses in this city. Prime real estate was where most of the family money came from, so he knew the city but had moved to Tokyo after his return from London. It was nice to come back.

He heard the sound of children, the sharp exclamation that kids made and his feet headed in that direction, probably because of Onoda.

It was a playground loaded with children, playing and laughing and enjoying life as little children did.

His eyes spotted the swing set and his heart clenched.

He stared at the unoccupied seat, his thoughts drifting to the moment he first clashed eyes with Onoda.

It seemed so long ago now. He missed the boy terribly, and this was only rubbing salt in his aching heart. There was only a month left in his restriction, and time was going slower than it had ever gone before. Now, he had few meetings, and had finished most of his classes. Mrs. Miyata was the only one he met with in any sort of frequency because she was the only one that he could hear news of Onoda from. The boy had gotten a slight stomach flu that affected his eating for a while and when Makishima had heard the news, he had to be restrained by Mrs. Miyata, lest he race over there on his bicycle. He was better now, but Onoda was still struggling to eat. This month couldn't go by any faster in his opinion.

"Hello? You? Have you seen a boy with-"

Someone interrupted his thoughts, and was speaking to him quite roughly. Makishima turned to look at the person.

It was a man, with a thin frame and slightly shorter than him. The most glaring trait in his looks was the sleek black hair that was so dark it looked purple in the sunlight, kept back by a thin white headband.

In Makishima's opinion, it wasn't very fashionable; ugly, even.

"Uh...excuse me?"

"YOU! I remember you! I knew we would meet again! It is fate! I did not know you were hiding here of all places! Right under my nose. I can't bel-"

The man was loud, and Makishima grimaced at the sheer volume of his voice. He had no idea what this man was going on about, but he felt uncomfortable with the finger pointed at him, and the sharp eyes slitted in his directions. He began edging away from him thinking that he might be a little crazed.

The man didn't notice that Makishima had taken a step away. He was so wrapped up in his ranting, "A year! A whole cursed year! I did not think you were a coward, but perchance I was wrong! You probably knew that you would lose in both the climb and the looks departmen- HEY! Wait a minute!"

Makishima almost groaned, wishing he had stepped a little faster away from Mr. Headband. The man rushed to his side, frowning prominently. "Where are you off to?! I was speaking to you! Running away again, I see! It does not matter! I have you now! So, let us race!"

Makishima raised an eyebrow. The man's body seemed like that of a cyclist, thin, wiry but lean. Had they met in some race before? Makishima couldn't place the face.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?"

The man's eyes widened so much, Makishima was worried that they would stay that way. "You...you...YOU DO NOT REMEMBER ME!?" He quite literally screamed.

Makishima clasped his hand over ears, wincing at the sound assaulting him.

The man was almost babbling, and he looked so distress, he was close to tears. "All this time, I thought we were fated to be great rivals! A rival worthy of the King of the Mountain! We would race until we were satisfied! Pushing each other to greater heights! Together! But...but..No! You had to go and forget! We met a year ago! You won a race I was competing in. I confronted you on your lack of victorious flair! Please do remember! You have a horrifying smile, and you dared called my head band ugly! "

Makishima did not remember. The last race he had won, made him feel quite bitter at his total indifference at the victory, which was why he probably had forgotten it.

"You do not REMEMBER?" The man shouted again when Makishima said nothing.

Makishima looked around awkwardly. There was a couple of ladies watching him, and he could tell exactly what they were thinking.

He stepped away again, but the man stepped with him, keeping himself in close proximity.

"Oh no you don't! You broke my heart! I will not let you get away with this!"

Makishima eyes widened, and he glanced at the ladies again. They were watching them with rapture, relishing in the drama unfolding before them like it was a daytime soap opera.

"Listen...uh...sir, I don't know what you are talking about, but why don't we...go somewhere else to talk about it...okay?"

The man stepped back and extended a long arm to point accusingly at Makishima, and started announcing, "You forget my name, you break my heart, and now you claim to not even know what I'm talking about, and still demand to go somewhere else to talk! Never! I'll let everyone know how you abandoned me! For an entire year and four months! "

There were murmurs starting around him, and Makishima was starting to panic.

The man was fuming, and he had no idea why. Was this some elaborate joke? Was he falling for one of those stupid comedy skits?

Makishima looked at the man still pointing at him. No..No actor was this weird.

"And on top of that, you forgot this beautiful face! How could you! How is that even possible?"

The man continued, and he looked to the crowd gathering for confirmation. The women listening in nodded their heads sympathetically.

Makishima had enough, "Okay. Well….I'm uh..leaving"

The man jumped forward, "Wait! You can not leave! I am just getting started! I have tell everyone about the way you ride -"

"Uncle Jin-san? Why are you yelling again? Mom said not to look for a boyfriend when you're babysitting me."

A little boy, about Onoda's size interrupted the loud man's rant. Makishima was grateful, because the topic of conversation sounded like it was heading towards places Makishima didn't want people to misinterpret.

Toudou blushed a beet red and quickly exclaimed to cover his embarrassment, "No! Shut your mouth, Sangaku-chan! Where were you, anyways!? I was looking all over!"

The boy pointed at the top of a sand hill a little distance away, "I was climbing the hill."

"What! Why?"

The boy shrugged and headed over to the swings. The boy had dark hair, shining blue in the sun. Seeing him sitting on the swing made Makishima think of Onoda, and he suddenly wanted to leave, and quickly.

But the man had a different goal. He stepped in front of Makishima, arms extended, but he was calling out to his nephew.

"Sangaku-chan! Come here, we're leaving!" He turned his sharp eyes to Makishima, "And you! We have to meet up sometime soon.. I'm taking care of my nephew right now though, so I must to postpone. Give me your number."
Makishima didn't like the sound of that, "Uh...no."

"Don't give me that! I will keep on following you until you give me your number! Sangaku-chan! Lets go!"He called out to the boy who was still swinging nonchalantly.

Makishima combed his hair back, a little frustrated with the man. He finally pulled out his phone and dialed his number in. With regret already, he handed it over to the man. "Fine. Whatever. Here."

The little boy, Sangaku, came up, yawning. "Are we leaving, Uncle?"

The man nodded absently, as he saved Makishima's number in his phone. When he handed back to Makishima, his face split into such a victorious smile that it made Makishima squint. He didn't really find the man all that attractive, but he certainly wasn't ugly, but with that smile, and glossy eyes, there was something rather charming about him.

"I'll call you then and we will settle this! Okay. I must go, for now! I am glad I had the chance to meet you again, otherwise I would go the rest of my life missing something!" He reached down and grabbed unto his nephew's hand, who looked half asleep already, "Goodbye for now!"

Makishima nodded, and turning, he started towards the street, but didn't get very far when his phone rang. The number he saw there was unknown, and he glanced back at the man who was still in view. The man waved one hand excitedly with his blue phone in the other hand pressed to his ear.

Makishima sighed and answered, "Yes…?" He said tiredly.

"Hello! I forgot to tell you. My name is Toudou Jinpachi. I am also known as the God of the Mountain."

Makishima wasn't going to say what he was called, his odd climbing style was as strange as everything else about him. "Makishima Yuusuke." he introduced tiredly.

"I know! I call you Maki-chan!"

"I'd rather you didn't."

His request was ignored,"Oi! Maki-chan! Did you know that I have a fan club!?"

Makishima continued on his way to the street seeing no point in talking to the man while watching him. Besides he had to head back home. "No, I didn't"

"Well, I do! It is mostly because of my beauty. It is impossible to ignore! But lately, everyone has been paying much more attention to Sangaku-chan! Could it be that I am losing popularity to a kid!? May it never be!"

Makishima responded with a grunt. He could very easily hang up the phone especially since he was no longer in sight, but something about Toudou's rambling was comforting. It really was the result of being separated from Onoda. It was loneliness.

"It is ridiculous, right!? But I suppose that children can not help being adorable and such. I mean, I can not help it, either. Do you have a fan club, Maki-chan?"

"No. Not that I'm aware of." Makishima said, as he waved for a cab.

"Well, you are not the best looking afterall, but you are very fast and worthy of being my rival. You should probably get one. I could assist you!"

Makishima climbed in a waiting car, and directed the driver to the nearest station. Makishima hardly cared about the insult, because he wasn't strong in the looks department. The man wasn't all that either, but he decided to remain silent on the matter.

"I don't know what that means...but it doesn't matter. I like not having a...fan club."

"Well, I suppose we can discuss the matter later! I must go for now! But, I shall call you soon, Maki-chan!"

Makishi blinked at his phone as the man hung up.

Toudou Jinpachi.

Makishima shrugged as he saved the contact in his phone. It didn't really matter though.

It wasn't as if he would ever see the loud, bright eyed man ever again.

This was just a once in a lifetime encounter.

---

The day came much too slow, and although he had been counting down to it, he couldn't believe his nerves as he waited at the front of the orphanage.

Onoda was in there, hopefully just as excited and eager as him.

But…

What if Onoda had forgotten him? It had been three months, ninety one days, practically forever in the child's perspective. There was a fear that maybe Onoda wouldn't like him as much anymore, that maybe he had forgotten the love that he claimed for his Mama. Kids changed their mind often, at the drop of a hat, and while Onoda had not met any families, it could be that he had forgotten Makishima.

He was worried.

He missed the boy terribly, and wanted to see him, but now he was so scared of what or who Onoda was now.

What if he had changed his mind?

"Makishima-san?"

It was Sayuri Tendo, and she had a pleasant smile on her face. "You seem nervous."

He clenched his jaw, shaking his head, "No. I'm…I'm just excited, I guess."

She cocked her head and nodded, "Okay. If you say so." She pulled out a thin long package from under her arm, "I wanted to give this to you. We wanted Onoda to have at least one picture of his birth mother. Shiro actually did most of the work, and he managed to find this one."

She handed the package over, and he blinked at it before opening the top, and sliding the frame out.

There, beneath the glass, was a round faced, smiling woman, with brown curly hair atop her head. She didn't look at all what Makishima had imagined, but her eyes, the shape of her face and the smile were all uncannily similar. This was without a doubt Onoda's mother. His real mama. Makishima felt a tinge in his chest as he remembered that Onoda had been there when this smile faded.

"She was a very kind woman. She was so excited about life, and always smiling. Onoda learned that from her."

Makishima stared and stared, blinking rapidly at the frame. "Has…Has Sakamichi seen it yet?"

Miss Tendo shook her head, "No. We thought you should give to him, you know, from one parent to the next."

Makishima turned away, emotion making him tremble. This woman was gone, and in her wake she had left a beautiful lively child. Looking at her deep blue eyes, the heavy responsibility made his knees weak. He had to do this right, he swore. He would do whatever to make this right, to give Onoda every bit of happiness that he deserved. I promise, he thought, because promises were so important to the Onoda family, I promise.

The Director came out the front door calling them, "Tendo-san, Makishima-san, you can come in. I got the fax from the CGC. You are allowed to come in, Makishima-san."

Makishima stared, his fingers gripping the picture tightly in his suddenly clammy hands.

Miss Tendo smiled gently at him, and motioned to the door, "Don't worry Makishima-san. There is a child in there that is counting down the seconds."

Makishima nodded as he entered the building.

It felt surreal being in it again, and Momari at the front desk waved at him, "Makishima-san! Welcome back!" He nodded at her, and followed the Director down the hall to the visitation room.

His heart was pounding and he could feel it beating in his ears. He couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous for something.

There were still what ifs swirling around in his head; still attacking him viciously.

He didn't have to wait much longer because the Director opened the door of the visitation room, and Makishima met eyes with wide blue ones.

He was sitting there in a pale blue sweater, moving his feet back and forth, looking anxious.

His face then broke out into a wide smile, the same type of smile that the woman in the picture had, but fuller, more alive and happy. Makishima cursed all his worrying thoughts, because it was stupid. He knew how much Onoda loved him, and he should trust him.

The boy jumped from his seat and ran forward, Makishima dropped to his knees, and extended both arms as the boy leaped into them, winding short arms around his neck.

"Mama!" he cried, "Mama! I mis-I missed Mama!"

Makishima held him, close and tight, feeling his heartbeat, feeling his warmth, his life, not knowing that he craved being called for by the little boy until it was in his ear.

"I missed you too, Sakamichi. It's okay, I'm not going anywhere anymore."

Onoda leaned back, his eyes wet with joy, "Promise, Mama?"

Makishima swore to Onoda, to Onoda's smiling mother, and to himself, that they would be happy. Forever.

"Promise."

---

"What do you think?"

The boy looked at the picture, his eyes widening, "House looks like on fire."

Makishima chuckled at the observation, "You're right. It does look like it's on fire."

They were sitting in the room, talking and laughing, and Makishima showed him the picture of the house. Seeing the boy again was filling up Makishima, filling all the places he hadn't known were empty until everything felt so right.

Onoda touched the picture, small fingers tracing the edge, "Is Mama's house?"

Makishima ruffled the boy's hair, "Nope. It's going to be our house."

"Mine too!?"

"Yes, Onoda. So, do you like it?"

The boy stared at the picture, looking intense for a second and then nodded his head hard, his chin bumping against his chest, "Yeah! I like fire house!"

Makishima laughed, "Well, I am glad."

"Can I live with Mama soon?" Onoda asked quietly, and shifted closer to Makishima, resting his head against the man's side.

Makishima sighed, "Not yet. There's still some boring adult things I have to do."

Onoda pouted, and Makishima flicked at his glasses gently,"Hey, don't make that face. It'll get stuck like that and you'll turn into a fish."

Onoda giggled, "Nah-uh! I won't be a fishy!"

"Yeah, you'll turn into a fish with glasses."

Onoda shook his head, "Nah-uh, Nah-uh, Mama!" He wrapped his arms around Makishima's arm laughing merrily.

"I wanna live with Mama soon…" He whispered, quiet, but full of pleading.

Makishima smiled fondly, "Yeah, I want you to come with me too already, but we have to wait." As Onoda settled closer, Makishima asked, "How was your day? Did you eat this morning?"

The boy stiffened slightly,"I try."

Makishima frowned at him, "Well, let's eat dinner together, okay?"

"Yeah! Are you staying long time?" Onoda said bouncing in his seat, "'Til night time?"

Makishima nudged him, "Yeah. I'll stay."

"Onoda? It's time for your nap." Shiro came into the visitation room, and grinned at the boy.

Onoda tried to hide himself under Makishima's patterned sweater.

"Oh no you don't!" Shiro said, rushing forward and picking up Onoda from the bench. "You are going to take a nap! Or i'll tickle you!"

"No! No!" Onoda said, through giggles as he fought against Shiro fingers, "S-s-stop hahah!"

Shiro plopped Onoda back on the seat, "Well, I guess you can take a nap here, if Makishima-san is okay with it, but you have to sleep, alright?"

Onoda turned hopeful eyes to Makishima, and he nodded almost instantly. "Alright then. Nap time."

Shiro propped the door wider and then opened a small closet in the back of the room. He came back with a blanket, throwing it over the boy who giggled at being hidden.

"All Right, Mr. Sleepy Pants, I want a half an hour nap. I'll come and take you to the bathroom after."

Onoda laid down on the cushioned bench, and propped his head on Makishima's thigh, yawning widely. His eyes were droopy and it was only a matter of minutes before he fell asleep. "It's okay Shiro-san, I can take him to the bathroom."

Shiro shook his head, "Sorry. You're not allowed just yet."

Makishima gave him a weary glance, "Not even to the bathroom?"

Shiro scratched his head, "I know, but policy is policy. Technically, I should make Onoda come to his cot for a nap. I should only overlook one rule at a time, you know."

Makishima nodded, "Alright. "

Shiro went back to the closet and brought up another blanket and handed it to Makishima, "You know, you guys don't look anything alike, but for some reason you really do look like his dad."

Makishima took the blanket and moved Onoda's head to rest on the makeshift pillow. He smoothed wild hairs over the boys temple, and adjusted his glasses. Then he turned to Shiro, "Uh..thanks?"

Shiro grinned and leaned against the doorframe, "It's weird especially since Onoda is pretty normal looking. Cute but normal. But you...you have green hair." He emphasized

Makishima shrugged off the slight insult, "Onoda doesn't mind. "

"Don't get me wrong. I think its cool. It's just ..odd that you look like family already."

They both looked at Onoda as he kicked out in his sleep. The action made both men chuckle. "I'm gonna miss him. When he leaves, I mean. Hopefully with you."

Makishima looked at him, as Shiro dropped his tone to a whisper, "Onoda was the kid that I wanted to get out and have a family. I thought that if he ended up at the youth home then maybe I would adopt him," Shiro's eyes grew distant, looking at Makishima but not really seeing him, "but in the end, I think I would've gotten selfish. People always want a child with their own blood. I'm included in that."

Makishima listened to the man, who seemed to be letting something off of his chest, as he tucked the blanket more snugly around Onoda.

"So, I guess that is why I told you those things when you first came;to feel less guilty about it." Shiro confessed quietly, leaning his head against the frame, now avoiding eye contact.

Makishima combed through strands of his long hair, and answered "Well, no matter your reason, I'm glad you did say those things. You were right about it."

Shiro nodded, "I'm glad you two crossed paths. It's a heartwarming story for sure. One I'll be telling for years to come."

Makishima nodded, and he leaned back on the bench. Shiro raised a hand, a quick wave, "Well, I'll be back in half an hour. Don't leave this room, 'kay?"

Makishima shook his head, "Yeah, I know. See you."

He settled back down letting his shoulders slump comfortably. Shiro had said that most people wanted their own kids, but Makishima could not find it in himself to want anyone but Onoda Sakamichi.

He reached out and patted the boy's forehead, feeling the soft black hair under his fingers. The picture was hidden in his jacket, and he needed to talk to Onoda about it. The boy probably didn't remember his mother too well, and that picture was sacred.

Onoda shifted, and then bolted right up, "Hime!"

Makishima gave him a quizzical look, and Onoda turned sleepy eyes to him, "You okay there?"

Onoda nodded and sat up. He had been asleep for five minutes, and he was required to nap for at least half an hour. "What's wrong, Sakamichi?"

Onoda frowned at him and reached out and touched Makishima's dangling hair, "Mama is here. Not a dream?"

Makishima pulled him closer, "No, I'm here. Were you having a bad dream?"

Onoda shook his head, yawning, "Nope! When I dream of Mama, it's a good dream, always."

He wanted to melt from the words, and his sweetness was making Makishima feel queasy, "Well…" he started, face unable to control the smile that broke out, "this is not a dream. This is real."

"Goodie!" Onoda said, and jumped suddenly, "I have a Mama gift. I made Mama somethin'"

Makishima watched as he jumped down from the bench and scurried over to the corner where he grabbed a lot of papers, and trotted over to Makishima.

It was some sort of homemade journal, a string intertwined with the many papers, keeping them together, "I made mama a gift."

He handed over the packet, and Makishima grabbed it. Onoda beamed at him, and sat back on the bench.

Makishima was about to ask what it was when he opened the first page and a huge number one covered it. There were no words, just pictures, alot of them of Onoda and himself, black and green scratches, but each page had a number in the middle, surrounded by colors of yellow, red, lots of green, and sometimes blue. He continued to scan the book until the numbers got bigger and sometimes there was multiple ones, and lots of errors, all the way to the last page, which had a large black '91' right in the middle. It look like it was in the sun from the yellow and red and orange that was drawn from it.

"Sakamichi, what are these numbers?" he asked, as he smiled at all the pictures. This seemed like a lot of work, and there were ninety one pages, ninety one drawings. He sucked in a breath.

91.

"Uh! Uh, Miss Tendo teach me my number so I could count to when Mama comes back. Ninety one days! But I don't remember too well sometimes so I draw them. This is my Mama book! You like it, Mama?"

Makishima felt so stupid. He was such a worrywart for no reason. Everyday, Onoda had thought of him, and dreamt of him, had wished that the days could go faster to see him again. This was proof of how much Onoda loved him. He knew that, but as an adult he thought too much.

"I love it, Sakamichi," he replied softly touching the pages gently. Onoda beamed at him, "I'm glad, Mama!"

He leaned against Makishima's side, yawning again.

"I have something for you too, Sakamichi."

Onoda perked up, "A gift for me? A hime?"

Makishima grinned at him, ruffling his hair, "No, not this time, Sakamichi. It's something else,"

Onoda concentrated, "Mmmm… New glasses?"

Makishima stood up and opened up his jacket where he had hidden the picture, "No, you don't need new glasses."

"What mama? What is the gift?" Onoda said, jumping up and down, "What is it!?"

Makishima sat back down and handed the picture to Onoda, "Do…" there was a lump in his throat, and he blinked his eyes, "Do you recognize the lady in the picture?"

Onoda took the frame and gasped at it. "It's… It's MAMA! It Mama in heaven!"

He looked so excited, as he clutched the photo, smiling widely at it, "Mama! Mama!"

It felt so weird to hear him say that to someone that wasn't him. Something twisting in his stomach, and he felt like he was stealing something. "Do you miss your mom, Sakamichi?"

Onoda looked up at him, eyes sparkling. Makishima felt the lump in his throat grow.

"Ah, Mama sent Mamashima, so I won't be sad. I used to miss mama a lot, a lot, but Mamashima came,and I'm not sad. Mama is happy too! Mama promise me that a new mama was gonna come and I promise I will be good boy for my new mama." He looked down at the picture again, "I think my Mama is pretty."

Makishima covered his eyes leaning away from the boy. God, he was so emotional these days, he thought bitterly, as he wiped at his tears. It was heart wrenching, and so sweet all at the same time. Everything Onoda said was filling him with hope and love and all sorts of other things he didn't know he could feel.

"Hmmm, I miss my Mama sometimes still, but it don't make me sad no more, because mama always keeps promises, like me! And I have mama now, so I'm really, really happy."

Onoda hugged the picture to his chest, "I have two mamas! I'm really, really lucky!"

Makishima took in a shuddering breath and reached over and brought the boy into his arms, and the boy giggled, leaning trustingly into him.

"We are both very lucky, Sakamichi. Very lucky."

---

Thomas waved at him from the front door as Makishima got out of the car. He grabbed the box in the passenger seat, and walked to the house. The blonde man was grinning cheerily as he approached. He looked odd in the ragged jeans splattered with paint. He manage to make it look good. "Hey, Maki, the house looks great. A little old, but I guess that will suit you just fine." He took the box from Makishima's hands and walked in the house. "I left your boxes in the closet on the second floor. When are the movers coming?"

Makishima looked at his watch, "In a hour."

Thomas clapped his hands together, "Dude, this is so weird. You moving into this….family home. It feels weird. It makes me miss my fam'."

Makishima frowned at him, "When did you seen them last? Was it Christmas?"

He nodded, "Yeah, but I think I'll stay here this christmas. I gotta spoil the crap out of your kid. I'm already planning it. I think I'll get him a giant robot."

Makishima wanted to smile but it was a sensitive subject.

"He will be here for Christmas, right...?"

The reunion with Sakamichi had been wonderful but the absence had only made Makishima fonder, and all he wanted was to take the boy with him already, but the CGC was giving him a lot of issues, probably the work of one angry Mr. Yamada.

Makishima shrugged, "I...hope. Its been almost seven months. They keep saying it's only a matter of time, but I feel they are just trying to postpone it in case another family comes along. "

Thomas' eyes widened, "Is that legal? I mean you did everything right. You've changed everything in your life to accommodate the kid, and you're telling me that it might not happen."

Makishima sighed, "I don't know if they can...It just feels that way. It's getting frustrating, but I'm not all that worried. I only want to spend the end of the year with Onoda."

"You aren't worried? But,why not?"

Makishima grinned, and leaned against the stair rail, "'Cause Onoda won't let anyone adopt him. He is seriously the most stubborn kid I've ever met."

Thomas chuckled and put the box in his hands on the floor, "I really can't wait to meet him. He must be one hell of boy to make you do all this."

Makishima climbed up the stairs, nodding, "You could come with me to visit…"

"Nah,I want to meet him when he's part of the family. I hope to convince a certain bastard to loosen up about it. He sometimes rants about everything you're doing, but not even he can complain about how you've changed for the better...or whatever. What I'm saying is that it's all good. He's coming around, he's just taking his freaking time."

That was...nice. He didn't see his brother much since he moved to Chiba, but there was a lot of awkwardness every time they met at the office. It was reassuring that despite all the frown lines on his brother's face when their eyes met, he was getting to terms with what Makishima was doing.

"That's nice…"

Thomas nodded, touching the stair rail, "Uh, speaking about him…"

Makishima glanced at him with the corner of his eye, "Yeah?"

"I… I asked him to come help us today. You know, you guys haven't talked much so I thought maybe..."

Makishima grimaced. He didn't really want his brother to come and judge the house in its dilapidated state.

"Oh."

"Are you mad, Maki?"

Makishima shook his head, " No. Its okay if he comes."

Thomas smiled winningly, and took a step up. "Okay, well, I guess I"ll go grab the towels."

The next couple of hours, they got busy cleaning. Luckily, the cleaner that Makishima had hired came in and did a much better job than Makishima and Thomas had been doing. As the hired help was working, the movers came with all the bright shining new furniture and his sparse items from his home. Everything was looking good, and for a while, Makishima had forgotten that his brother was due to arrive. It wasn't until he came, hesitant, with a basket of fruits and bread, looking awkward in the crowd of movers and cleaners.

"Hey?" Makishima said when he saw him, motioning for him to come in.

"Ah, Thomas… He asked me to come."

Makishima nodded, "Yeah, he told me. Ah, I guess we'll go into my office. It's pretty much done in there."

His brother replied with a short nod, and followed him up the stairs to the room where Makishima had set up his stuff, "Thanks for the gift." He said and took the basket out of his brother's hands, placing it on the table.

"Yeah, thank you for allowing me over."

The way he said it made it seem wrong. "I didn't say you couldn't come over. I just didn't think about it."

There was a pause, and both Makishimas looked around awkwardly.

"It's a very nice house. For some reason,I thought you would like a really modern place. This place seems rich… ah… like vintage."

Makishima nodded. He didn't want to explain that he had picked the house because he thought Onoda would like it.

"Well, I have good news. Your fall line is looking good. I actually submitted your design to my friend in Korea."

Makishima whirled around to look at him, "What?"

His brother stared out the window, the light brightening his usually dark eyes, "Korea. SangMi Park? Do you remember her? I sent over your designs, and she liked them. I was thinking we… or you, could do a showing there."

There was a simultaneous leap and drop in his stomach at the thought. An international showing for a small label like them was phenomenal,especially in Korea where they took fashion rather seriously, but this could affect the adoption process. Makishima had an inkling that perhaps this was his brother's last ditch effort to stop the adoption.

"When…?" He asked hesitantly. He hoped it wouldn't come down to a choice between Onoda and his ambition in fashion, not that he would have any difficulty in choosing.

"Ah, they wanted you to come in these next couple of months, but with this whole thing with the kid, I thought you wouldn't do it, so I postponed until next year during the summer months. The…adoption process should be finished by then, right?"

Makishima let out a breath; relief and fondness filled him. He felt bad for doubting his brother, but with the last couple of altercations with him concerning Onoda, it was not too farfetched that he would think such things.

"Yeah. I… I hope." He leaned back on his desk, looking at him, "Korea sounds promising."

"I know! This is our big chance to get bigger. We've been losing some local support lately," he glance briefly, apologetically at Makishima before continuing, "but an international showing could promote our online sales."

Makishima suddenly really liked the idea. He had a little less than a year, but he would really like to do a showing. He thought about his brother's enthusiasm in it. The label was his brother's baby, and now that he was adopting a child, he could see why he fretted so often.

"Thank you," he said, "for postponing the travels. It was… nice of you."

His brother grimaced, " I was worried they wouldn't go for it, and I would have to tell you. I didn't want you to think that I was trying to stop you again. I-," he paused before re-crossing his arms, looking tense, "I … I still don't understand why you want to do this, but I know you're very adamant about doing it. I remember when I wanted to open up shop for myself, you supported me throughout all of that, and… I realized that I needed to do the same for you."

Makishima smiled faintly, "I appreciate that."

His relationship with his brother had been a rollercoaster these last couple of months, but a resolution seemed near.

"I also have a confession. I need to speak to you about something; about myself, but not… ah...not now." His nervousness increased, and he even seemed like he was sweating just a bit.

"When... When you have the boy, uh, bring him down to the office and… ah introduce us. I'll tell you then."

Makishima watched him, a little perplexed at his mood. What could this confession be? Was it serious? It was probably something terrible, and Makihisa found that he didn't want to think about it.

"O-Okay. I guess we'll do that."

"Right." There was another awkward moment,

"So, have you told Mother and Father?"

Makishima started, "Ah… no."

His brother paused, shifting from one foot to another, "You should…ah probably do that. Not pressuring you, but I bet our parents would like to know."

Makishima nodded. He agreed that he should tell his parents about the adoption since it affected them also,but Mom lived in Osaka now, and Father was often in the United States for business. "I-I will."

His brother scratched his face, not saying anything.

Makishima had a question of his own.

"What changed your mind? I mean about Onoda?"

His brother blanched, and coughed awkwardly, "Eh,well Thomas, he explained to me that I was…well, being an asshole."

"Yeah. You were being an asshole," Makishima said, but chuckling at the words, "and you actually listened to Thomas?"

"You know how he gets when he rants. He…he can be very persuasive when he wants to. That's why I work with him." There was something hidden in his words, but Makishima didn't want to try to decipher it now, "I was scared for you. I could never do something like this… so I assumed that you couldn't either. I'm-I am sorry about that. I haven't said it yet, but… I was wrong. I… I did you more harm than good. My intentions might have been good, But I…," he looked away, clenching his fist, "I hurt you, and I hate that I did that. I'm... I apologize, Yuusuke. I'm sorry about everything I did."

Makishima reached out and laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, feeling closer to the man in years. Makishima had made mistakes also, had hurt his brother in the same way years ago and his brother had forgiven him. He would do the same.

"It's okay."

They looked at each other for a moment, no real words necessary. It was a good bonding moment, but it was interrupted by the door opening up and Thomas walking in with a box in his hands, "Oh! This is where you went to," he told Makishima, before turning to the other man, "And you! You came! I'm glad." He put the box down and reached out to take his hand. Makishima stared at the action, as Thomas brought his hands up to the man's shoulder patting affectionately. It wasn't totally weird, since they had been friends for a while, but the display was a tad unexpected.

He paid no mind to it though and Thomas quickly told him that the movers wanted his opinion about the safe, and asked why he even had a safe in the first place. Makishima ignored the question, promptly, not wanting to tell the blonde that he needed to make sure his gravure collection would be hidden under lock and key.

He left the room, thinking about his brothers words and the Korea showing. The house was almost done, and when he had directed the movers on where to put the safe, he trudged over to the room he had picked for Onoda, peeking in to make sure there was no one in there.

It was thankfully empty, and he went inside, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Onoda's room had a large window that peered out east, overlooking the sloping hill down to the spotted lands of the City of Chiba. Makishima gazed out the window, watching the cars traveling on the street down there, and the playground that he had visited before. This was a good room for Onoda who seemed to really enjoy the sun. Perhaps bright things were attracted to each other.

The room was blue and pink, a clash of colors that he liked. Thomas had thought it was disorientating, but he didn't have good taste, in Makishima's opinion. Shelves lined the walls. Makishima regarded the movers handiwork appreciatively. He would have taken forever to put them up.

Onoda would like this room. He would love the room even if Makishima hadn't taken so much time designing it, but the process of putting together something for the boy's enjoyment had been fulfilling.

It was only a matter of weeks. Tomorrow he would have his last meeting with Mrs. Miyata and the final curve of the adoption process would finish.

The end was in sight.

---

Mrs. Miyata was grim, and Makishima was instantly worried. He had been trying to calm his nerves at the thought that today he would be informed of the pass/fail of his home study report.

'It'll be fine' was what Mrs. Miyata had said plenty of times, but still, in a very typical Makishima manner, he was flipping out a little.

"Well, this is our last official pre adoption meeting. We'd better make the best of it."

Makishima nodded his head eagerly, ready to hear the news, whether good or not.

"I have the council's decision here. If you passed, then the six month foster trial occurs, usually.. In your case, of course, it is a little different…"

Makishima held his breath, panic making his throat close. He should have known that it wasn't just going to end like this, there was always someone, always something hindering him.

"What…?" He asked, already resigned to the problem.

Mrs. Miyata stared into his eyes, her gaze piercing and invasive, "It's not going to happen. The foster period I mean."

Makishima froze, his teeth clenching together hard, "What? Why not?"

Mrs Miyata said nothing for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice had a certain lightness in it, "... because there is no need. The council, with the help of the orphanage and Onoda's caretaker and my own reference, the CGC has decided that we don't have to keep you waiting. You can adopt Onoda. It's official! You're exempt!"

The shift from depression to elation was so dramatic that Makishima didn't understand why his heart leaped, but his stomach tightened. He breathed hard, processing her words.

He passed? He was accepted? So did that mean…?

"So… I can go? Now? Like, I can take him now?"

He was already standing up, his mind whirling with the implication of her statement. He wanted to pick up the boy right now.

Mrs. Miyata laughed, "Now, now hold on a moment. I still have to check out the home you bought, and the paperwork needs to go through, so in probably a couple of weeks. I'm thinking two mondays from today, November 10th."

Makishima nodded, and flung out his hands, jumping slightly in his seat, "Okay! But then that's it, right? I mean it's over then!? I can… I can take him? And no one is going to stop me?"

Mrs. Miyata nodded at his odd display of emotion, "Yes, Makishima-san. Of course, I will visit monthly, to make sure Onoda is adjusting, but he will be officially your son by then. Once you take him to his new home, he's yours." She smiled broadly, Makishima's enthusiasm contagious, "How does it feel?"

How did it feel? He felt elated, like winning a race. No greater than that, like winning at life. His heart felt so full, his limbs tingling, like they had fallen asleep, but the pinpricks were pleasent. He felt weak, but so energetic. He felt like flying. He had made it. He had climbed the mountain, and now this was the feeling of making it to the top, overlooking the vast view. It was that feeling. Was there word to even describe this? "It's… It's…"

"Wonderful, right?" Mrs. Miyata said, her eyes soft, "Remember this moment, Makishima-san. That knowledge of having someone you have to protect, that mixture of absolute joy but also absolute terror."

Makishima nodded, not understanding her in the least, because the buzz of unprecedented joy was making his mind fuzzy on everything.

"Right, I understand. Yeah. I-" he stood up with one fluid motion, "Well, let go to the… to my house." He corrected and threw some money on the table, "I want to make sure that it's ready…"

Mrs. Miyata followed him out, "You told me the house sits upon a very high hill. How high exactly?"

Makishima grinned at her, "Exercise is good for your health, Miyata-san."

She pouted like a teenager, cursing under her breath.

Luckily, everything was in order in the house, and Mrs. Miyata signed off on it. He bid her farewell, and good luck on her way back down the steep hill. He had to tell several people the good news. Thomas, he supposed his brother, Tadokoro, and his parents. He frowned at that thought. He had to tell his father, and soon. Maybe this weekend he would head down to his house after visiting Onoda, but for now, he wanted to tell someone who would be just as enthused.

Makishima dialed a number in his phone once he shut the door, and brought it up to his ear.

"'Ello?"

"Tadokorocchi?"

"Eh, Makishima?" He asked loudly, and then turned to someone else,"Oi, babe, It's Maki!" Makishima quickly spoke up, "Ah, I actually want to talk to you."

"Oh," and then there was a loud, "nevermind! Okay, Maki, what's up?"

"It's… It's over."

"What's over?"

Makishima settled back on the couch, his heart beating in his chest. He remembered that Tadokoro had been the first one he told when he decided to adopt Onoda the first time around, "The adoption process.I-I made it Tadokorocchi. I did it."

There was a pause and then a really loud whoop, "Holy Hell, Maki! That's great news! So it all worked out in the end! I knew you could do it! Congrats, man!"

Makishima let out a breath, stretching out over the couch, "I know. It's…It's incredible."

It really was like a dream, the fact that he had worked so hard for this and it was finally happening, all that effort and suffering gave way to this great feeling of victory.

"Well, the kid is five, right? That's Shoukichi's age. I was thinking of coming to visit you once you have the kid. I haven't been to Chiba in a while, anyways, and he can meet my kid. How does that sound?"

It sounded like a great idea, "Yeah, I won't get Sakamichi for another two weeks, but the week after that maybe. Let's do that."

There was a beeping that suddenly sounded. Another call was coming in. "Ah, I'll call you back, Tadokorocchi. I'm getting another call."

"Alright, Maki. Talk to you later."

He hung up and Maki answered the incoming call, not bothering to look who it was.

That was a mistake.

"Maki-chan!"

Makishima's eyes widened and he almost clicked the phone shut. It was Toudou. He answered miserably. "Yes?"

"Maki-chan! How are you this day? Feeling well? Did you eat well? Sleep plenty? You cannot overlook those important hours of beauty sleep, especially you."

Toudou had been texting him like crazy these last couple of months. Makishima half heartedly responded most of the time because usually it was only questions about his well being. It didn't annoy him as much as the woman earlier in the year that had done something very similar. Perhaps meeting Onoda had made him a more patient person.

Makishima rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Toudou. What is it that you want?"

"Maki-chan! Do not sound angry at me. I am only concerned for your well being. I was calling to know if you want to go riding with me this Saturday. I must consider your condition if we were to race again."

Makishima stood up and walked into the kitchen, "Can't. I'm busy." Saturdays were Onoda days.

"Oh? Why are you always so busy? What are you always off doing, Maki-chan?"

Makishima paused, not knowing if to tell him, "I have a job. I am an adult, and," he wanted to stop and not tell him, but he also wanted to claim his new official title, "I am a father, so I have to be busy."

"WHAT!? THAT IS NOT POSS-" Toudou screamed into the phone and Makishima winced, and after placing the phone on the kitchen counter, he rummaged through the refrigerator, hoping he took enough time for the man's outburst to settle. He was munching on a carrot when he returned to the phone.

"-pecting something so adult like from Maki-chan. Poor child, I hope he did not inherit your looks!"

Of course, Toudou would insult him, and Makishima breathed into the phone, wanting to defend his son's adorableness. "No, Sakamichi is cute."

"Sakamichi!? That is a good name for your son. I can tell you thought a lot for this name."

He stopped talking for a blessed second, before, with hesitation he asked a question. "So, he must have received his cute face from his mother,your…wife?"

Makishima frowned at how shyly he was asking, " I don't have a wife." He said rather bluntly, and took another bite of the carrot. "I'm not married."

"REALLY? But… I have a son, but there is no mama. Poor Maki-chan."

Makishima was distracted with eating and glancing at his watch, pondering on maybe going to see Onoda, that he answered without thinking, "No, I'm Sakamichi's mama."

He stiffened when he realized what he had said, and Toudou sputtered into the phone, "Maki-chan…! A… Maki-chan is a… a mother!? Maki-chan are you a-a"

Makishima was done with Toudou tonight, and with a red face he shut the phone promptly and shut it off.

He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced at the wall, thankful no one had witnessed that slip, except for Toudou, but who could believe that man.

What was he anyways? He was a man, but Onoda had never called him dad, daddy or anything of the male parental terms. Should he let Onoda continue calling mama? Makishima didn't want to be called dad or father. Mama was fine. Mama was something he preferred, in fact.

Mama was what Onoda had picked, and though he wasn't technically a mother, he thought that if Onoda wanted to call his new father Mama, than that was fine with him.

---

Father was a reasonable man. Makishima always saw him as wise and knowing. Often, when he was young, all he needed to do was give a certain look to Makishima and he would know exactly what he was doing wrong, but Makishima patriarch allowed for his children to do as they pleased as long as it didn't shame the family. They didn't see each other often. Mother stayed with Makishima's grandmother in Osaka, and Father often traveled overseas for business. They were never a tight knit family, but they were all okay with that.

Which is precisely the reason why Makishima was nervous in telling his understanding father that he was in the ending process of adopting a child. He rang the doorbell of his old house once again, trying to remember the last time that he had actually seen his father. Was it..last year? Two years ago? There had been an uproar when grandma had gotten sick about a half a year ago, and he remembered seeing most of his family there.

So, a year and a half, and here he came with hefty news.

His hand reached out to the doorbell again, but before he rang on the white button, the wooden door opened.

His father looked surprised, and Makishima felt 10 years old again.

"Yuusuke? What…? I mean come in."

He moved away and allowed Makishima to shamble into the house. "I brought some Macarons…" he started, gesturing to the ornate bag in his hand.

His father smiled, and Makishima was relieved that he still had his notorious sweet tooth. "When a son comes home with a present, it is usually a sign of a confession."

Makishima looked at the ceramic floors, scratching his face guilty. "Ah..well."

"Alright, let's talk, but in the family room." He closed the door, and guided Makishima to the brightly lit family room. The white furniture was pristine, and Makishima was extra careful sitting down. Being here in such a long was making him feel guilty. He wondered what his father was thinking, what he was assuming. Was he assuming the worst? That his son was in some possible trouble? That he needed financial help? That he brought shame to the name of Makishima?

"Where did you get them?"

The question broke through Makishima's spiraling thoughts, and he looked up abruptly, "What?"

"The Macarons. Where did you buy them?"

"Oh." Out of all the questions he thought would be asked, the name of the bakery he had purchased the cookies from was not one of them. "Uh.. A place in Shibuya. Viron something."

"Ah. I know it. Good place. Have you been to the Pierre Herme place? They have the best Macarons in the world. It's better than Paris, even."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I should've have gotten them there then. I can.."

"No, No." His father waved his hand and motioned for the bag, "I'm not that picky, Yuusuke. If it's sweet, I'll eat it. My dentist hates it. In my old age, I restrict myself, so this is a nice treat." Makishima tentatively slid the bag across the coffee table to his father's eager hands. A man came into the family room, and Makishima started at his presence. He had sharp eyes, beneath thick bushy eyebrows. Those eyebrows were so distracting that Makishima could not tell if he was young or old.

"Ah. Tea, please." His father said to the strange man. The man nodded, and left the room.

"Who-"

"That is my house assistant and sitter. He stays here when I'm out and keeps the house up to date. I'm not here often anymore, and I've been staying in Osaka with your mother more and more lately. I suppose I should just sell this house and leave Chiba. Perhaps, it's time."

Makishima didn't know how to feel about that. He watched his father open the box of Macarons, his eyes gleaming, "You dyed your hair again. Last time I saw you it was blue."

Makishima reached up to the knot on the back of his head, "Yes...I changed it again."

"The last time it was green was right before you left for London. "

Makishima was surprised that his dad actually remembered that. He tried not to show it, but the curve of his fathers lips told him it was too late, "Didn't expect me to know, huh? It's alright son. We aren't very close, I know, but it's hard to forget you dying your hair into such bright colors." He leaned back in the loveseat, and looked at Makishima, eyes calculating. "How's the fashion business?"

Makishima gave him a quick summary of what was going on, and how his brother was making a bold move in launching his newest design line. "Well, in general, the fashion business is risky in itself. It depends on people's opinions, right? And people are fickle, especially when it comes to fashion tastes."

Makishima nodded, but his mind was wandering. He was finding out that they would soon have to talk about the reason for his visit. He tried to think of another subject, to postpone the talk, but his mind was turning blank.

His father had a peaceable, knowing look on his face, and Makishima was feeling vulnerable under it.

"Well, I suppose that we should talk about what you need to tell me."

Makishima tightened his jaw, feeling tension in the pit of his stomach. His words were floating all around in his head, and he was unable to catch them and string them together to make a sentence.

He was saved by the Eyebrow Man who quietly came in with a tray of tea. He poured two cups and placed them gently in the two saucers.

"Thank you. " His father said, and the Eyebrow Man nodded once, and left the room, leaving two Makishimas staring at each other.

Makishima was thinking of an excuse to leave the room and calm his beating heart. The family room was so quiet that he was almost sure that his father could hear it. What was his father going to say? He was going to adopt a child! Was this something he should've told them in the beginning? Parents wanted grandchildren, but they preferred them from their own children, with their blood running through their veins. A blood child to carry on the name, to inherit the honor of the family. He had siblings that could take care of that. His older brother, who was the official inheritor, and his younger sister which could take care of having children. Makishima always felt that he wouldn't be the type of man that would be okay with being a family man. It was too...constricting. He had always hoped that he could just go on with his life, cycling and designing, picking up an occasional lover here and there, but marriage? Children? He was never inclined to do that.

Now look at him, skipping the marriage part and going straight to raising a child.

"Well, go ahead." His father said.

Makishima swallowed hard, willing his tongue to move.

He was confused when he felt the cookies touch his hand. "Go ahead and try one." His father said again.

Oh.

They ate in silence with the occasional murmur of pleasure. The macarons were good, and the bitter tea balanced the sweetness of the cookies. A couple of minutes passed, and Makishima felt like his father was just biding his time to attack when Makishima let his guard down.

"So."

Makishima flinched, readying himself,

"What you're wearing, did you design it?"

Makishima glanced down at his shirt covered in multicolored sequins, "Ah, This? No...This is a different designer from London."

"I see…"

The moments ticked on and his father continued eating leisurely. The stress was building up in Makishima and every glance his way made him swallow involuntarily.

"So…"

Makishima held his breath this time.

"One of the houses on our property in the Rolling Hills changed hands again to one of these new pop artists. 158 million yen! That's the most so far. Of course we don't get most of that."

Makishima actually let his jaw drop, and it wasn't at the news that the house on the Makishima real estate sold for a high price. It was at the fact that his father was deliberately stressing him out. It was obvious from the small, smug grin that he sported.

Makishima squinted at him.

"I get it, Dad." He finally said

"Well, you seemed to want to say something, but were hesitating. I just want you to take your time."

"Uh...Thanks?"

"So, go ahead. I'm all ears. I'll be nice since you brought me my favorite. Plus,your mother isn't here, so I won't have to be strict." His smile was in place, but his eyes were serious. It was like looking at an older, wiser and less volatile version of his brother, and the comparison didn't make Makishima feel any better about the situation, seeing how his brother had reacted to the news.

"I decided to do something...life changing." He found himself saying.

"Oh? Did you now?"

"Yes, Father." He looked away, eyes concentrating at the flowery design on the teacup on the coffee table.

"I… will…I am…." He stumbled again.

It had been years since he had spoken to his father about things involving his life. Their last discussion like this was about the night that Makishima had vandalized a rival clothing store in a drunken stupor. His father had pulled strings in order to keep him in the fashion business, but made him promise to never drink like that again. Only recently had he broken that promise. The disappointed shameful look that his eyes showed that day so long ago felt harsher than the stern words he spoke. Now, confronted with those eyes looking at him, he began to waver in his confidence. He wasn't ashamed of his actions, oh no, he was just afraid. He loved his family, no matter how distant they were. He didn't want to cut ties off entirely.

He shifted his eyes to his hand, still avoiding eye contact with the quiet, waiting man across from him. On his hand, he saw muted, faded colors of orange and yellow and blue, from finger painting with Onoda this morning. Despite the tense moment he was in, he smiled as he remembered how intense Onoda looked when he was trying to remember what mixes of colors made green.

Seeing the reminder, he looked up at his father.

Onoda was worth the trouble. He loved his family, but he wasn't going to let their judgement deter him from making this decision. His father's disapproval would be disappointing, but that wasn't going to stop him from making sure that Onoda was the happiest child on earth.

"I...I'm adopting a child, dad."

He watched the smile fade, salt and pepper eyebrows rise, and eyes fill with shock.

"I met him almost seven months ago. He's alone in this world. He...needed someone. I decided I wanted to be that person. His name is Onoda Sakamichi. He…"

"A child, Yuusuke?" His father interrupted.

Makishima nodded sharply, unable to read his father's dark eyes.

"Sakamichi." His father said, as if tasting the word. Makishima's jaw was tight, back tense, and shoulders stiff as he waited for a reaction.

His father let out a sigh, and then, magically, smiled. "Sakamichi is a good name. It figures you would want him. You're a climber after all."

Makishima blinked. Of felt the tension in his spine loosen at those words, and he looked at his father with newfound respect.

Of course his father would pick up on such a small detail.

Sakamichi. Even his name fit.

"You...Are you okay with this?" He asked, tentatively.

Father took another macron from the table, staring at the pink pastry, "I'll be honest, son, this comes as a...shock. I didn't expect this from you. You always seemed rather aloof. I didn't...Well, my apologies, but you aren't the type to settle down and play the family man. I saw you growing up to be an old trendy man revered for eccentricity in the fashion business." He popped the cookie in his mouth and washed it down with a swig of tea. "To hear this is...odd. But, all in all, this is relatively good news. I won't have to wait for your sister to have children to get to spoil someone."

Makishima smiled faintly. It seems like Onoda is going to be spoiled rotten by everyone.

"When will I meet this boy? What does he look like?" His father questioned, his expression curious.

Makishima leaned forward. This was a topic he could most certainly go on about. "Hopefully, soon. As to what he looks like…think of the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen, and then double it. That's Onoda. He has glasses, so they look bigger than life. "

His father chuckled, "That sounds ridiculous. Round eyes? Is he foreign?"

Makishima shook his head. "No, the mother is Japanese."

"And the father?"

Makishima paused. He had wondered about Onoda's father, but hadn't dwelled on it too much. The man had abandoned his child and the mother of that child without much thought. He didn't deserve much consideration "Well… I don't know. He didn't stick around."

His father frowned, looking concerned, "So you don't know his heritage, his bloodline?"

Makishima shook his head, "No… Is-is that a problem?"

His father stood up, and closed the box of macarons, "No. Once he is your son, he will be a Makishima. Besides, his big blue eyes remind me of your mother. No, this Onoda Sakamichi will probably fit right into this family. Maybe even bring us close. A child is… " He trailed off before walking over to a table that was laden with photo frames of the Makishima siblings in their younger years. He picked one up, tracing the edge, "A child is new life, and a new start." He put the frame down and looked at Makishima, his eyes full of something that only long years on earth could give one, "I'm glad that you decided to do this, son. Your life will change for sure. It has already changed. You seem…happy."

Makishima stared at him, blinking, before nodding his head once. "I am happy, Dad. Its been… a while since I felt like this."

His father smiled, understanding. He came back to the coffee table, plopped down in the chair, and flicked open the box of sweets.

"Yuusuke, tell me everything about my grandson."

---

It came to Makishima as a shock that Onoda's birthday had never been celebrated. Well, technically, it had been, but only along the other children born that month. He probably hadn't gotten much either before entering the orphanage, seeing that his mother had been struggling since his birth to make ends meet.

But today, at this hour, it was all about Onoda.

A farewell party, they called it. Onoda was leaving the orphanage to live with his foster parent, finally. It had taken months, agonizing stressful months, but in the end it was all worth it. Nothing reaffirmed that more than the bright smile on Onoda's face.

There was a cake and all the children that were under Miss Tendo's care attended were happy at getting a rare treat.

Onoda was the happiest of them all. His round face was split wide into the biggest grin anyone has ever seen.

Makishima smiled at it. He was sitting in a chair in the corner, because even if this was a party full of children, he still wasn't very good at small talk.

Shiro ran into his corner, interrupting his peace, followed by several rambunctious boys.

"Hey, hey, go play over there." He told them shoo-ing them with both hands away. The kids crowded around him still, but with a forceful nudge, he sent them away.

He plopped down in the chair next to him, "Hey. You look comfortable… "

Makishima frowned at him. Did he? "Uh,not really."

Shiro shrugged, "I'm surprised that Onoda isn't attached to you right now, but I guess since he won't see these kids ever again, that's expected."

Makishima nodded. It was sort of sad. Onoda was constantly surrounded by children, but soon all he would have is Makishima, and compared to kids' endless energy, Makishima was sure to be quite boring.

"I've never seen such a constant smile. Man, that kid is just the definition of happiness." Shiro continued, "I wonder who he will grow up to be." He shifted his eyes over to Makishima, who was watching the boy pass a ball back and forth with a group of kids. Makishima also wondered what sort of adult Onoda would grow up to be, and with a distressing thought, he knew that he had much influence on the outcome. Try as he may, he couldn't think of Onoda becoming anything but the best sort of man. He knew without a doubt Onoda was the type of person that came into people's lives and changed things, uncovering a shadowed area of one's heart. He did it with Makishima.

He had been playing at life, going through motions, but nothing really mattered, nothing was meaningful or fulfilling. It was habit, ritual, and necessity, but now, everything mattered. Now he had to try his hardest to create good designs, to have a steady income to feed a child, and provide him with a good life. Now he had to make time to cycle, fit it into his soon to be full schedule, making every moment he was on his bike a precious one. He saw the world around him, and how that world was also part of his life. He started watching the news, seeing in which direction the world was headed, and he hoped that things would change before the sweet boy had to enter it.

"Maybe you could come back and visit,"

Shiro interrupted his thoughts, "Years from now, at least. I don't think you're allowed to return in the first couple of years, but after that, it would be cool to see him again all grown up… "

Makishima nodded, "Yeah, I think Onoda would like that."

Shiro frowned, "Hey, so, this might be too bold, but why do you still call him by his surname? Isn't he officially your son?"

Makishima looked away awkwardly, "Yeah… It's a habit. His name is Makishima Sakamichi now, but… I feel bad… "

Shiro looked confused. "For what exactly?"

Makishima leaned back in his chair, his eyes watching Onoda as he missed to catch the ball thrown at him, "His mom…It's his only connection to her. I felt bad for… severing that."

"Yeah, but that might confuse him in school and stuff. Besides, its not as if he's going to forget his real mom just because his name changed."

Makishima acknowledged that, but he also felt that he should never forget that Onoda had a life before him, a life in which a strong, cheerful woman had infused her very spirit in her child. She had tried her hardest to raise him right, to make him the child that he was today, and Makishima should never ever forget her sacrifice. Life and circumstance had taken away from her, to give to him, and he would never make light of that, but, he couldn't explain that to Shiro, or to people in general. They just wouldn't understand.

In his mind, Sakamichi would be his child, his son, but always an Onoda.

"Yeah, you're right." He finally replied to Shiro.

Shiro smiled, and stood up, "C'mon, I think it's time for the cake."

Makishima followed him to the crowd of kids. Shiro waved at Miss Tendo, signaling at her, and she nodded.

"Alright, kids! It's time for cake!"

The children reacted as expected, wildly shouting their obvious approval of this event. They rushed to the table, sitting down with the elegance of stampeding elephants.

Onoda came up to him, "Mama! It's cake time! You wanna eat cake?"

Makishima reached out and picked up the kid, the action now natural, "Only if you eat it too."

Onoda's wide smile shined bright for a moment, "Okay, Okay, Mama! Cake time! Cake time!"

Makishima smiled, and carried Onoda to the foot of the table where a stool was erected, and where there was an empty spot for a cake.

Makishima put Onoda on the stool, keeping a hand on his shoulder.

Miss Tendo came with the cake and brought it in front of Onoda while the children cheered loudly.

There was smiles and laughter as Onoda was given a piece of cake, and of course, he immediately offered his piece to Makishima.

The man smiled at it all.

Saying goodbye was not a strong suit for Onoda, and he was crying quietly, as he said goodbye to the children in his home group and then to Miss Tendo and Shiro.

"Cheer up! You can come back and visit us soon!" Shiro said as he wiped the slight tears in his face.

Miss Tendo patted his head, "Sakamichi, we are going to miss you very much." She crouched down, and hugged the boy tight, eyes closed and tears squeezed out from beneath her eyelids.

"Promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will always smile brightly! Be the sun, Sakamichi. Can you promise me that?"

Onoda smiled, nodding his head. He then turned to the last person who had not yet said goodbye. The bully, Hibiki, stood a little ways away, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. Onoda walked over to him, digging his hand in his pocket.

"Hi-Hibiki-kun?" The bully straightened, shifting a nervous gaze to Onoda's face. Makishima wondered if Onoda was going to taunt him or something. While the little boy deserved it, Makishima couldn't see Onoda doing something mean like that.

He wasn't all surprised when Onoda took the little princess figurine out of his pocket, and out stretched his hand to the other little boy, "Do-Do you want Hime-chan?"

Hibiki looked as confused and as shocked as the majority of the people in the room, and he averted his eyes still, "But…," Hibiki looked over to the adults with a frightened look, "It's yours, Onoda-chan…"

Makishima wasn't sure how he felt about Onoda's gracious action. He kind of wanted to make the bully pay for the all the distress he had caused Onoda over the years, but it was nice to know that his son was such a forgiving child. It would help when he knew that he would make many mistakes in the future himself.

Onoda pushed the little toy further, almost shoving it into the boy's chest, "But you said you wanted it."

Hibiki nodded, and then shook his head, "Yeah, but you said your mama gave you Hime-chan."

Onoda smiled, that wide shining smile, "Mama did! But I have Mama now! So, Mama and me can get a Hime-chan too, but you are my friend, Hibiki-kun! I wanna give you Hime-chan!"

Hibiki blinked at him, before reaching out and taking the toy into his small hands. His eyes were wide as he clutched the little figurine, and his eyes grew wet, "Sorry! S-s-s-sorry Onoda-chan! For calling you names, an-an-and being mean! Sorry! Sorry!" He was bawling now and his tears caused the other five year olds to join in, resulting in ten loud crying children. They gathered around Onoda, hugging him and grabbing his hands.

Makishima watched with equal parts of sadness and amusement. Even if Onoda needed to leave this place, he knew that he would probably miss this.

Miss Tendo calmed the children, and with a final pat, she brought Onoda over and stood him in front of his father.

Makishima looked down at his son, his now official son, with wonderment.

"You," he croaked out, emotion making his voice strange, "Are you ready to go?"

Onoda nodded, and reached out a hand to his father, and it felt just like the first time, warm and full of life, strong, but gentle.

They gathered Onoda's small backpack; his mother's picture settled within the folds of his clothes.

They left, turning back only once to wave goodbye for the last time.

Makishima looked at all the children of Onoda's group, faces streaked with tears, but bright smiling faces, copies of Onoda's wide grin and Makishima hoped, he prayed that all of them would find happiness too.

"Alright! Are you ready, children?" Miss Tendo called out, and she counted down, "Okay! On my count! One, two, three!"

With a flourish and loud unhindered voice, they shouted together, "GOOD LUCK, ONODA-CHAN! WE WILL MISS YOU!"

Makishima and his son left, to the laughter and well wishes of friends, knowing that a great life was ahead of them.

---

It was a quiet ride to their new house.

His son was sound asleep, settled comfortably in his shoulders. The taxi driver was quietly telling him about his own kids, and how there was nothing better than raising a child to a great human being.

It struck Makishima, with sudden understanding, why the adults he knew would often boast about their kids, as if they could talk on for ages about how great their son or daughter was.

He understood, and he smiled on how maybe in the near future, he would be that doting parent. He waved to the taxi driver, and started home.

The walk up the hill was quiet, and even though it was a slight struggle with Onoda in his arms and the luggage over his shoulder, it was a nice, calming climb.

In the hush of the night, he had time to reflect on his journey.

It had been hard, getting here, fighting his way through every step, allowing himself to hurt and be vulnerable, to risk and to care. He remembered the pain he had caused, to both Onoda and himself, and swore never to do something like that again. Even though he was trying, memories kept slipping through. He should keep a diary, because he wanted to remember everything.

He needed to remember every moment that he had to go through to get here; to become a father.

He stopped dead still under the faint moonlight.

It had finally arrived, that moment that Mrs. Miyata had told him about.

The mixture of absolute joy mixed with absolute terror.

Love is something he had thought he understood, something he knew existed, but this was raw and fresh and almost too much. In his life, where in most things he reacted rather muted to, feeling something so overwhelming as this choking love was too much.

Onoda shifted in his arms and woke with a start.

"Mama?"

Makishima leaned his head back a little to properly see the boy's face, "Yes, Sakamichi?"

"I love you, Mama." He said sleepily, before settling more snugly in his arms, warm and soft.

And…

In the quiet of the night with the endless stars above, climbing up this hill, Onoda's, his son's full heavy words were enough to make him tear up. He blinked rapidly at the wetness and swallowed hard.

"I love you too, Sakamichi."

In that moment, Makishima finally had everything he ever wanted.

---

Writer's Ramblings:

I hope I didn't make you cry tears again, this time of boredom.

This chapter was hell. I was only thinking of the next one when this one was being typed up. I ended up rewriting it three times, because this process is more important, albeit not as entertaining as later on. At first, I wanted to skip the adoption process entirely and just jump to later, but that would have been bad. I spared you, though because I had the original plot was going to involve with Onoda's legitimate father returning to wreak havoc… there was a lot of angst and anger in that draft and in the end I was like...NO! This is too freakin' long already! Just stop, brain! Please! so I scratched it out but kept the title.

On another note: I have minimal experience with adoption, and certainly not familiar with Japanese procedures. So, I wrote this by speaking with a Japanese friend, going through the internet and reading books from my local library ( I still use it…). Yay! Research! From what I found out, it would be virtually impossible for Makishima to adopt Onoda, and it certainly wouldn't proceed as shown here. I was very liberal about the whole thing for writing purposes. Please don't judge me on its inaccuracy! It's a Frankenstein! And according to my 100% authentic Japanese friend, adoption in Japan is not looked at as it is in the United States, which is why I wrote Makishima struggling in telling and convincing his family about it.

Please leave a comment! they are always nice to read and I love corresponding back! Thanks for reading!