A/N: Most of this entire chapter is set directly after the previous one. Only the last bit is in the present, where Zero left to Cheongug.

I opened my eyes.
Zero, where's Zero? I started to panic. Did you leave in the end? Will you ever come back again?
But I saw your silhouette as the curtains billowed in the wind.
What's wrong now, Zero? We fell asleep together, your hand patting my head gently, your lips brushing my forehead softly. What is it that's made you wary again, Zero?

I wrapped the sheets around me as I stepped forward. "Hey." You turned around to face me, a small smile forming on your lips but an inkling of fear in your eyes. "You're awake." I reached out a hand, placing them on your face. You wouldn't turn away, would you? You wouldn't shiver at my touch anymore, would you? Your skin is frigid baby; how long have you been standing out here? "What is it Zero?" At my words, the inkling of fear in your eyes turned to full blown terror; but this time it's different. You're no longer shrinking back. You're fighting back. Your hands held mine to your face, your other touching your bite mark on my neck. I could see words forming on your lips, words you found so difficult to say as you swallowed them back again. In the end, when words failed, you simply pulled me into your arms and held me tightly. And without words, I knew exactly what it was you wanted to say.

"Baby, I'm scared."
"Baby, hold me."
"Baby, I'm sorry."
"Baby, kiss me."

Slowly, I pulled away. I could see the look in your eyes, the one that is so transparent, so clear, so honest. I kissed you, just once. You stared at me, your eyes holding all the love in the world, your eyes telling me all the things I always heard but never felt. I kissed you once more, and as you kissed me back, I understood once again all that you wanted to say.

"Baby, I'm afraid I'll be all alone again, I'm so scared."
"Baby, hold me tightly so that I won't be scared."
"Baby, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm so sorry."
"Baby, kiss me, kiss all these fears away."

I will. I'll hold you tightly, and take your fears away. I'll run away with you, as far as we need to. We'll be happy, we'll be okay. And I could feel the tears in my eyes as I looked deeply into yours; this broken man has surrendered to me, is giving his all to me. This broken man has allowed me near him, has allowed me to touch him, allowed me to kiss him. And I'm important to him; I'm someone dear to him, someone he loves. I'm that lucky bitch who gets to touch his face, kiss his lips, wake up next to him. This lucky bitch is undeserving.

You pulled away. The look in your eyes had softened. There was no fear anymore, just… a slight wariness, a slight pain. "You didn't have to save me, Yuki." Save you? It's not me who's saving you. It's you who's saving me, saving me from that life of utter oblivion, that life of being someone else's puppet. That life I never knew could be better.

I couldn't sleep. I watched you sleep next to me, watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest. My heart that had been so frozen started to thaw. My soul that had been dead for so long started to breathe. I pulled you closer, inhaling your sweet scent, imprinting your body on mine. But this tiny fear started to creep in. This fear, this apprehension; I knew that this can never last forever. I held you tighter as the fear started to grow. I saw the bite mark on your neck, and that fear multiplied. All those fears that you kissed away the previous night started to wash over me. The fear and the guilt multiplied tenfold. The more I watched you, the more afraid I got. What if… what if I hurt you even more the next time? What if we don't end well? What if you end up hating me? What if you end up leaving me?

Don't leave me. Please, please don't ever leave me.
I've been left all alone before. It was terrible.
Don't hate me. Please, please don't ever hate me.
I've been hated before. It was horrible.

Concurrent with those fears, was an excitement, a joy, a happiness I've never felt before. This love of yours is amazing. I've never had someone love me this way. I'm not even sure how to respond, how to behave, how to reciprocate. But it's exciting, it makes my heart beat in a way it's never had; this heart that was way past its expiry date. It makes me wake up, looking forward to seeing you each day. It makes me last a full day, knowing that I'll get to see you when I come home. This must be the love they make movies out of. This must be the love they write beautiful lyrics about.

That's why you shouldn't leave me baby. Don't ever leave me after giving me a sweetness I can never replicate. Don't leave me after you've painted these beautiful images in my head. Don't leave me after you've made my body addicted to yours.
Don't hate me for hurting you. Let me do that, let me hate myself. Instead, love me like you do now. Continue loving me like this, forever. Even if forever may end whenever.

So when fear and joy comes together, when pain and bliss clashed inside, I did the one thing I knew how to do. I got up, went out to the balcony and lit a cigarette to help reason it out.
I had to distinguish now, the fact and the fiction. It's a fact, this relationship will be dangerous, this relationship may destroy her, and this relationship will consume me. But it's also a fact; this relationship is my first, my only, and probably my last. It's a fact, I love her and she loves me. It's a fact that I'll either go all in or nothing at all. I've never been known to half-ass things, and I wasn't about to start now. What were you thinking, Zero? You should have thought about this last night before getting into bed with her, before you even kissed her.
Before your mind started to create fiction and delude itself. Forever is fiction. Happily together forever, is fiction. A normal, sweet, happy love; is also fiction. But it's so sweet. When was the last time you felt this way, Zero? When was the last time you felt so alive? When was the last time you felt whole, felt so complete?

"Hey."
"You're awake." Before I could stop myself, my mind took free rein and started to paint these pictures in my head. We'll wake up together every morning, kiss sweetly each morning, and make sweet love in between each morning. And those thoughts terrified me.
You placed a hand on my face. You could tell already, the doubtful thoughts that were starting to creep in. "What is it, Zero?"
I held your hand to my face. Before I could stop myself, my mind started to play its tricks again. I knew the magic these hands held. I knew that these hands were able to take the pain away, these hands could cure a bleeding heart, and these hands would leave scratch marks of pleasure on my back.
I touched the mark on your neck. It's not healed yet. Then my brain decided to join the party and ask; how many more bite marks will you leave on her neck, Zero? How many more scars will you give her? How many more times will you take from her without killing her?
I wanted to tell you all these, Yuki. I want to tell you I love you. I want to apologise for hurting you. I want to tell you exactly how much I love you. I want to tell you that this can never work. But words fail me. I've never been good with words.

So I let my body do the talking. I pulled you in to my arms and held you as if my life depended on it. And it was as if you understood everything I wanted to say. You pulled away from me for a bit and stared at me. Your eyes told me you understood, you knew everything, even without words. You tiptoed and kissed me. I've always dreamed of this; kissing a girl like this, the way they do in movies. I never thought I did, but I think I always dreamed of being in love like this too.

"You didn't have to save me, Yuki," I told her. Your eyes told me that you didn't think of it that way.
I didn't bother arguing. To me, you're already my savior. I leaned down to kiss you again, only to stop myself.
Shit, Zero. Do people usually do this? Do people kiss all day and all night? Wouldn't it get boring? Wouldn't she get tired? I know… I'm useless at this. I've never had relationships that lasted more than a few hours at night.
I started to get nervous, I started to fidget, I started to second-guess myself. I felt like a boy in his first relationship, only I had skipped all the way to the middle bit and now had to backtrack to the first baby steps.

You leaned down to kiss me, before stopping short. My heart was pounding in my chest. I'm nervous, fidgety, doubtful… and cold. I had forgotten that I was only wearing a blanket, if that was considered clothing. I didn't know how to proceed with this. In a way, it was funny; two grown people who had just slept together are now only deciding to… date? Are we dating, Zero? Or are we somewhat-official? Or are we a 'it's complicated'?

I shivered. You noticed and ushered us both in, breaking that awkward moment.
But I also realized, this could be the start of something beautiful. This could be the start we've been waiting for all our lives.

I opened my eyes, not daring to move. I know, if I look to my side, I won't see her there. I kept my eyes focused on the ceiling, biting my lip, screaming out loud in my head. I counted to three, steadying my breathing. I had to thump my chest repeatedly, trying to get my heart to beat normally. I would give anything, anything at all to live that moment once again, to live happily for that short moment again.

I didn't get up until I was sure I wouldn't crumble. I took a deep breath, willing it all away. I will go through with life, the way I've always went through. I will be strong, because that's the only way I know how to live. There was something I had to do today. I have never known prayer, so I never knew the appropriate rites. But at least, I will feel like a son just for a while.

Yes, I was running, Chairman. But, you could think of it as me performing my duties as a son. The grave is near Cheongug. Heaven is, after all, the best place for the dead isn't it. When I die, I'll turn to dust as vampires do. There'll be nothing left to bury. I'll have left nothing for the world, not even a burial plot in my name. I wonder what they would've written on the tombstone anyway. Neither was I a beloved father or husband. I wasn't a brave soldier or a good man. Seems like it would've been blank anyway.

That's when I saw her.
What are you doing here? How could you even think of coming here? A sudden cold spread through my fingers. You turned to me and smiled. How could you smile as if we're friends. How could you smile so beautifully, when I'm dying inside? How could you stand there, in front of my parents' graves, as if it was just yesterday that we came here together?
You approached me and bowed deeply. I didn't return it.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was on the way back, when we passed by this town."

"Come, Zero. Let's pray together."