Little Bundle Bereft of Joy

Chapter 4

"Honorary member of my pack?" Derek's voiced sounded so very, very lost. Because you were either pack, or you weren't. There was no in between. But, apparently, in the magical fairyland that was Stiles's mind, there was, and even better, it had a name…

"Yeah, it's totally a thing," Stiles said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Because, it wasn't like he was an expert or anything. Yes, he was an awesome researcher, but the internet didn't always provide him with correct answers. "Okay, we kind of made it a thing after you said that we already were a pack. But in all fairness, Allison and I aren't wolves, Scott's not an alpha, and we really didn't want to jump into anything that involved absolute submission to any one person."

"So, I did some research, and you know, not all wolves have permanent packs. Like the Ethiopian wolves, they tend to hunt alone and only gather together when the pack territory is threatened. So, we kind of used that as a model. We're an honorary pack with honorary members who gather when we need to, when there's a threat or something. It didn't really change anything. Scott's still my best friend. Scott and Allison still make sickening googly eyes at each other. Etc, etc."

"My point is, I can do the same thing for you. I can be there whenever you need me. I said it before, I care about you Derek, and if you want me in your pack, I'm there. I'm not gonna ditch a friend, meaning you, if you need me just because Scott's still determined to hate you. As long as you don't ask me to choose between you two, we're good."

"What if Scott does?" Derek can't keep himself from asking. He can't stop himself, even though he should just accept Stiles's offer. It's far less than what he wants, but it's also far more than he ever expected. He really should just keep his mouth shut and be grateful that the teen wasn't flat out rejecting him, but nope, Derek's wolf needed more, especially now that it was possible to hope for more.

"What if Scott does what?" Stiles asked, honestly confused.

"Asks you to choose."

"Then, I won't."

"Won't what?" Derek asked, not daring to believe what he hopes the human means by those words.

"I won't choose," Stiles answered.

"If Scott asks you to choose between him and me," Derek said, not daring to believe his ears. "You won't? What will you do?"

"I'll tell Scott to not be a dick and that I'm not abandoning a friend just because you two can't get over yourselves long enough to try and get along," Stiles answered. "As Scott's best friend, it's my job to tell him when he's being a dick. And I already tell you anyway, but now that I'm officially honorary pack, you can't threaten me with bodily harm for doing so."

Derek sighed at those words, but he kept his mouth shut this time. Stiles didn't get it. He really, really didn't get it. To the human teen, they were just friends, but pack was so much more than that. Pack was family…more than family is some cases. Nothing had changed with Scott and Stiles when they put together their "honorary pack" because the two teens already considered themselves brothers.

But with Derek, it was different. To Derek, Stiles was more than just a friend, and his wolf whimpered a bit at the idea of an "honorary" pack member. Still, he was willing to accept it, accept Stiles as pack in any capacity the teen offered himself, because now that he hadn't been outright rejected, Derek needed Stiles to acknowledge his place as a part of Derek's pack.

"Member of the pack or not," Derek said, trying to keep the desperation he felt hidden. "I can still rip your throat out…with my teeth."

"Oh my god! You made a joke!" Stiles grinned triumphantly as he pumped a fist in the air. "You totally accept me as part of the pack."

Groaning, Derek wondered how the hell his life had gotten to the point where Stiles, of all people, was pack. Well, he was actually truly grateful for that, but no one else needed to know that. And either way, Derek needed a break. It was time for Stiles to leave. So, he gently pushed the human toward the loft door, but nothing was ever that easy with Stiles.

"Wait, wait, wait," Stiles started flailing wildly in his attempt to stop the Alpha from throwing him out.

"Stiles," Derek growled out, but it sounded of frustration, not of anger or threats.

"I swear it's important," the teen said, sighing and sagging with relief when the werewolf stopped pushing. "I wanted to talk about Hannah."

Glancing at the clock, Derek noted it was just passed eleven. Okay, it was earlier than he'd thought it was. God, the conversation about pack had seemed to last a hell of a lot longer than half an hour. Still, that meant there was more time to humor Stiles before he had to go. At this point, Derek just really wanted to go to bed, but it might be easier in the long run to just deal with him now. So he asked, "What about Hannah?"

"Just about how you're going to treat her," Stiles rushed the words out, like he was afraid to say them and had to force them out before he convinced himself otherwise. "Not that I think you're going to treat her badly or anything. Just, with buying things like presents…"

Then, he just stopped, courage apparently failing him. Derek raised a single eyebrow (which Stiles would forever swear was seriously judging him) and pondered how to respond to that. He thought he knew where Stiles was trying to go with this, but he wasn't completely sure either.

"As much as I would love to buy her enough toys to fill an ocean," Derek said. "I'm not going to. I don't want her to think I'm trying to buy her love. There are other, better ways to show her that I care. Is that what you're trying to get at?"

"Yeah," Stiles mumbled under his breath, fidgeting nervously under the weight of Derek's stare. "Before things got really, really bad with…when Scott and I were still kids…little kids…Scott's dad….well, he tried to, and Scott never really wanted any of it, never touched most of it. And every new gift broke his heart a little more, especially the ones that came in the mail rather than with a five or ten minute visit…"

"Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't buy Hannah presents. God knows I'll probably show up here with something stupid in a few days. I want her to have things, but I know what she wants most is you. And I want her to know she has you. I don't want her to ever think she might not get to keep you…so, maybe, just go easy on the toys for a while."

Stiles stopped talking and then wanted to punch himself. He was so concerned for Hannah, he'd forgotten about Derek. Derek, the guy who knew better than anyone about wanting someone there. He'd lost his whole family! So, were than any convenient, nearby holes where he could just crawl in and bury himself?

Despite his weariness, Derek managed to crack a smile when he sensed Stiles's discomfort. The teen smelled of embarrassment and fear – probably thought the werewolf was going to slam him into the nearest wall. The idea was tempting, but Stiles was lucky that Derek was in such a forgiving mood. At this point, he really just wanted to curl up with Hannah, and besides, Stiles had only voiced concerns Derek had already thought of. So, he wasn't too annoyed with the teen.

"There are things she needs…like a bed and more clothes," Derek said with a sad glance at Hannah's extremely small piles of belongings. "I was going to take her shopping tomorrow and let her pick out whatever kind she wanted of all the things she needs. Like if she wants a bright pink princess bed, I'll buy her a bright pink princess bed. I figured that would be a good compromise. I get to buy her things she wants, and since they're also necessities, they can't be misinterpreted as meaningless gestures. She might be too young to understand that concept, but she definitely won't think I'm trying to buy her love."

"Okay, yeah," Stiles said, finally letting out a yawn of his own. Now that tings were starting to get well and truly settled, the day was starting to catch up with him. "That sounds good…y'know, I didn't really expect an answer. I was thinking at most, a growl."

Derek just glared at him.

"Shutting up now…Not. I get it. Grateful for my help with Hannah equals Give annoying human boy answers. Don't get used to it, right?"

Derek sighted this time and successfully managed to push Stiles out of the loft. Despite his annoyance with Stiles's last comment, the werewolf was gentle about it and said in a friendly-for-Derek tone, "Good night Stiles. Isaac is outside, waiting to take you home."

After that, he shut and locked the door before heading straight to his room. Once there, he curled up with Hannah in bed and fell asleep.

A/N: Hello and welcome to the end of chapter 3 of Little Bundle Bereft of Joy. I hope you enjoyed it. I know it's been forever since I updated, and I'm sorry. As for the future of this story, it's continuance will mostly be one-shots, not necessarily published in chronological order. I haven't decided whether they'll be posted on their own or if they'll be added as chapters onto here. If you have an opinion on the matter, please let me know.

I love reviewers, but I do have a request. I would really love for someone to seriously critique my work. It doesn't have to stop at constructive criticism. I'd love for someone to really pick apart my work and tell me every little thing they hated, what needs to be improved, and what parts of my writing they liked best. Believe me when I say I love all reviews, and it's really nice to know people appreciate my work. However, I'm a far cry from being perfect, and there's always room to improve. Also, if I can get better, I can give better fan fiction to my readers. Anyway, thanks again for reading this fan fiction and hopefully you seriously considered my request.