This chapter really begged to be written! It just kind of wrote itself, and quickly started spinning out of control! I know there are some BalthierxBasch fans out there, so this is for you guys (though it is mostly crack and nothing serious going on) :p This was also the most fun chapter to write and my favorite (and hopefully you guys think it's funny as well), and yes, I know, Basch is totally out of character. Well, deal with it, he's drunk! XD

Reviews are extremely helpful/nice/awesome/best thing ever! So leave one :) Thank you so much you who already have! Especially DeAmonQuEen!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to SquareEnix!

Part 4: Basch

The beer was deliciously cold, and was the best one he had ever tasted. It was most likely due to the fact that he had not tasted the golden beverage in nearly three years, but it still tasted like a little bit of paradise as it hit his tongue. Since it was so tasteful, it just so happened that he had had more than a few.

Yes, Basch fon Ronsenburg was drunk. Not smashed, just perfectly incapable of any real, coherent thought. His head was buzzing, and everything seemed far enough away for all his worries to drift to the back of his mind, at least for now.

The bar in Nalbina Town was a rather shady one, with even shadier clientele. He hadn't told any of his companions where he had stalked of to either, and this meant he would be left alone this evening, his only companion being the alcohol. The delicious alcohol.

Oh, how wrong he had been.

After two hours of blissful loneliness and the growing buzz in his head, it was all brutally ruined by the arrival of the party's very own "leading man".

"Good afternoon, my dear captain." Balthier's smooth voice could easily be heard over the ruckus of the bar's patrons.

Basch only huffed in return, not a sound the ex-captain would usually make, but one his drunken mind figured expressed his feelings perfectly.

It wasn't that he didn't like Balthier, he was an honorable man -despite the fact that he was a pirate- and had proven to be an invaluable member as they trekked Ivalice to save Dalmasca.

The sky pirate wasn't fazed by Basch's lack of a proper response, and by the heap of empty mugs surrounding him, Balthier wasn't expecting one either. He grinned -he had never thought he would see the captain drunk. His mind briefly drifted back to the day after they left Jahara, when he had mentioned getting Basch drunk. A plan was starting to form in his mind.

"So, Basch," Balthier started. "How far are you into the bottle on this fine night?"

"Ther's nooo bottl." Basch slurred.

Balthier shook his head. "I think we should get you back to the inn, my good man, we have an early start in the morning, and our dear princess needs you in your best shape." He gently, but firmly, removed the mug from Basch's hands, the older man protesting.

As Balthier took a firm grip of Basch and started walking of, the bartender approached.

"Kidnapping my costumers, Balthier?"

"Well, by the stormy seas." He grinned as he shook the bartenders hand, dropping Basch -who landed on the floor- when doing so. "My dear friend, how many years has it been? I thought you to be in Rosarria."

"Nothin' for me there, and I missed all the sand." he shrugged with a grin as he handed Balthier a beer. "On the house, and let your friend here stay for a while longer, he's not botherin' anyone, and if I know you, you're not one to go home before the sun is risin' in the east."

Balthier let out a rare laugh. His old self was definitively one to play cards and consume alcohol like the best of them, although in a dashing manner. That side of him had been suppressed for a long time now, and the beer in front of him was very tempting.

"Bah!" Balthier threw his hands in the air. "Who will a few beers with an old friend hurt?" He picked up the beer and took a swig. "What do you say, good captain? Let us have some real fun!"

Basch had by now managed to dragged himself back into his seat and nodded eagerly. The bartender grinned and picked up a mug himself, cheering with the two other men, Basch nearly spilling his entire beverage, but eventually managed to get it to his mouth. Balthier down the liquid, and asked for another. This really did feel like a good idea!

...

This hadn't been a good idea. At all.

The ground seemed to move underneath their feet, and his head swam. Basch was just now realizing how much alcohol he had consumed, and figured he would have the hangover of his life come morning, though he didn't regret it at the moment. Though he doubtlessly would when he woke up later.

Balthier had proven an interesting drinking companion; telling the most incredible and ludicrous stories from his life as a pirate, and having this amazing ability to bring people together in laughter, playing card games and in general having the best time of his life. Sure, Basch had been drunk out of his mind, but sometime after the sky pirate showed up, he got back around and joined in the party that had suddenly started in the run-down bar.

Now, the two of them walked towards the inn the rest of their party was currently sleeping at, arms around each others shoulders. Basch had a hard time even keeping on his feet, and it didn't help that Balthier insisted on doing this weird little skip every time he reached the refrain of the song he was singing. Oh yes, the leading man was singing. Loudly. What song it was, Basch had no idea, but it was a quick and catchy one, and Balthier did have an amazing voice.

"Tell me, 'thier," Basch slurred. "Whe yu learn th' song?"

"That, my dearest captain, is a long story" Balthier was just as bad in his slurring, but managed to at least pronounce each syllable. "It was back when I first came to Port Balfonheim, a youngster on the run."

Had Basch been even slightly more sober, or less drunk as it were, he would have pondered Balthier's word, but as it so happened, he was not.

"I met this old pirate, old as dust he was, ready to kneel over any time. He told me, that the first step to become a real pirate, and to earn a spot in his crew, was to know all the tavern chants and the good ol' chanties by heart. So I practiced for days! I hung around the sailors on the docks and in the taverns. I kept it up for days, and when I finally knew them all, I returned, only to find the old bastard had died just hours, hours, after I saw him last!"

Balthier started laughing at the memory, and Basch joined shortly after.

And so they walker, laughing and singing, dancing and joking all the way back to the inn.

...

Ashe woke up to the sound of muffled voices from the room next to hers. She had been fast asleep, and wasn't at all happy to be woken up. After she had taken a moment to clear her head, Ashe realized that the room next to hers belonged to Balthier.

"That son of a..." she muttered under her breath.

Someone was laughing in the other room now, or more correctly, giggling, followed by someone, sounding a lot like Balthier, hushing on whoever else was in there with him.

Rarely was the princess of Dalmasca furious, angry, yes, but rarely furious. Right now though, furious didn't even begin to cover the emotion she was feeling. Her blood boiled and she wanted to strangle someone, or rather Balthier.

Quickly, she got out of bed and got dressed. For good measure, she even grabbed her sword. It might come in handy, she reasoned.

Stomping out into the hallway she glanced around to see if she was alone. She doubted that Fran would appreciated it if she killed her partner. No one else was awake, so she walked the few steps leading up to the door. She could still clearly hear someone behind the wall, low voices talking and laughing, Balthier was even singing. This only made Ashe more furious, did he sing to all his conquests?

Without thinking things through any further, she kicked in the door, an angry snarl on her face.

What met her on the other side... it was the last thing she'd expected.

Frozen in mid-motion stood Basch and Baltheir. For some reason Basch had taken a hold of Balthier's leather vest and was currently pulling the thing over the pirate's head. It seemed to be stuck, as Balthier stood bent towards the captain with his arms over his head, the vest covering all of his face.

Basch had already removed his vest and was now staring at Ashe wide-eyed in pure shock.

The princess looked back and forth, Basch still frozen, and Balthier having no idea what was going on.

For a split second her mind drifted back to a few weeks earlier, when Balthier had joked about getting the captain drunk, and giving her a live-show, and she had thought his words to be all fun and games.

Obviously not...

"Uuuh... Basch?" Balthier kept struggling with his vest. "What the hell is going on? I am sort of trapped here. I would appreciate it if you help me get undressed, now."

Ashe blushed a deep crimson.

Basch did the same, though he didn't really know why.

Balthier was still stuck inside his leather vest.

Slowly Ashe backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. There was no way in hell she was getting involved in whatever this was. Sure, she had wanted to strangle whoever Balthier was in there with, but to say that she was stunned that it was Basch, was the understatement of the year. Maybe there was truth to Balthier's rambling about Basch having to turn to other men when he was still in the military?

On the other side of the door, Balthier finally managed to free himself, and poked Basch in the side, which snapped the captain back to reality.

"What?" Balthier asked.

"The Princess just came in." said Basch in the weakest-sounding voice the pirate had ever heard.

Balthier grinned to himself. Even though he had abandoned his little plan the second he chugged the first beer, it seemed this rare event wasn't completely wasted after all.

"Well then, shall we?" Balthier gestured towards the bed, bowing like a proper gentleman.

Basch let out a snort, but played along. "We shall, my good man." He replied, mocking the way Balthier usually spoke, all nice and probber.

They both removed the rest of their clothing and got under the covers.

...

The next morning, Ashe woke early. Her dreams had been strange and hazy and filled with two certain men who was in the room next to hers.

Sighing, she figured there was no point in trying to sleep in any longer, and so she got up, put on her clothes, and exited the room. And so did Basch at that exact same moment.

The two of them stared at each other in the hallway.

"Morning." Basch mumbled awkwardly as he passed her and headed downstairs.

Ashe couldn't help herself, she just had to go check on Balthier. Making sure Basch wasn't coming back upstairs any time soon, Ashe opened up the door to Balthier's room. He was still sleeping soundly, spread out on the bed, laying flat on his stomach. The sight would have been heartwarming -he looked so innocent- if not for the fact that he was naked, barely covered but the sheets, and that Basch had spent the night there with him.

Slowly she backed out, and closed the door behind her. She was still mad, but figured she didn't want to ask any questions, mostly for her own sanity's sake. Lat night they had both clearly been drunk, and who was she to judge someone for what they did under the influence?

And after all, she and Balthier wasn't exclusive or anything, right? It was best not to dwell on it, and instead she went downstairs to get some breakfast.

An hour or so later, the rest of their party had gathered as well, the two men looking very much tired and hung-over. Once the food had been consumed and their things packed, they went on their way, heading for Mosphoran Highwaste.

"I still can't believe you lost your keys." Balthier yawned as they walked along. Basch and the pirate were a little behind the others and far enough away so that no one could hear them.

"Neither can I." Basch rubbed his eyes. "I swear I had them as we left the bar." He was still feeling like crap –or rather chewed up crap which had been stepped on, repeatedly-, but luckily Balthier wasn't making this awkward and hadn't made a single comment about what had gone down the night before.

"Guess not." Balthier unceremoniously kicked at some trash. "We will never know."

Basch shrugged and walked a bit faster to catch up with the rest, feeling beyond guilty for not being his best for the princess.

Staying behind, Balthier grinned to himself. The captain had never noticed that he had stolen the keys right out of his pocket, and neither did he know that after he had left in the morning, Balthier had quickly stripped out of his underwear, and waited for the princess to stick her head in.

He would of course tell her the truth, eventually.

For now though, this would teach her not to second guess the things he said, be it true or not!