CHAPTER NINETEEN

It was a cool day in ShadowClan territory. The sky was clear and the sun was out, though the tall pines covering the expanse of the territory blocked out most of the light. A slight breeze drifted through the forest, causing the ragged evergreens to rustle and their branches to sway. Beneath his paws, Sootclaw could feel the crunch of snow, the occasional needle reaching up to prick gently at his paw pads. It wasn't a bad day for training by far, though the grey clouds in the distance hinted at rain or snow. Everything was frozen in the forest, covered in a gleaming layer of ice. It all seemed so fragile, and it was oddly beautiful. Nothing moved except for the dark grey tom and his apprentice.

"That was awful," said Sootclaw. He lashed tail impatiently as he stared down his young apprentice. They were doing some fighting training and Pigeonpaw had just barely managed to stay on his feet during his mentor's assault. He had lunged first, and instead of dropping to let his much larger mentor sail over him, Pigeonpaw had reared up and tried to swat him away. Sootclaw had knocked the grey-and-white tom down, though the spiky-furred apprentice had rolled away and leapt back up after. Sootclaw had then chased him down with an barrage of blows, which Pigeonpaw had barely blocked while retreating. Though his apprentice had stayed up for the latter part of the fight, Sootclaw had kept expecting him to pitch backward and land on his rump in the snowdrifts.

Pigeonpaw said nothing, merely avoiding his mentor's gaze. The normally plump tom was growing skinnier with each passing day, though his complaints were lessening. He had lost some of his excited air, for which Sootclaw was glad, and had become considerably more demure. Still, there was lots of work to be done.

Sootclaw sighed. "Let's do it again."

Then Pigeonpaw did something surprising. "No," he mewed.

The smoky grey warrior blinked. "What did you say?"

Pigeonpaw took a deep breath, his legs shaking slightly. "I said no."

Sootclaw was floored. He wasn't sure what had just happened. He was used to Pigeonpaw's cheekiness, but this was different. His apprentice wasn't just sassing him – he was ready to start a serious argument. He was disobeying direct orders. The tom narrowed his eyes. "What's going on?"

The spiky-furred apprentice snorted. "You really want to know?"

That felt like a trick question. Sootclaw took a step towards his young charge, aware that his neck fur had fluffed up and his muscles were taut. He would never hurt Pigeonpaw, of course, but he couldn't deny that he was both confused and angry. "Of course," he mewed.

"No you don't," said Pigeonpaw quickly. Sootclaw was taken aback. It had been a trick question. Before he could process that, Pigeonpaw continued. "You don't want to know how I feel. You just want me to shut up and take all of your insults and pretend that maybe next time, I'll get it right. Well you know what, Sootclaw? I'm sick of it."

"Don't talk to your mentor like that." Sootclaw's neck fur was lying down and he was no longer bristling, but there was still a cold anger to his voice. It was unfamiliar, but he grasped onto it. It was useful for keeping himself together. He tried to push Pigeonpaw's words away. Insults. The young tom was just sensitive, that was all.

Pigeonpaw didn't bother acknowledging his words. "Look, Sootclaw, all you ever do is tell me that I'm not good enough. And yeah, sometimes I don't try hard, because I know I'll never be good enough for you. You're a great warrior. I'm not. I'll never be as good as you – I'm not exceptional. I'm not a good hunter. I can't really even fight! But sometimes I do try, and...and when I do, you never seem to notice. All that ever comes out of your mouth is criticism! Do you think I don't know that I have no balance, or that my crouch is lopsided, or that I look like a sick badger, or that I'm not as strong or as fit as Tanpaw and Nightpaw? I know all of those things. I don't need you telling me them every single day."

All the air had escaped from Sootclaw's lungs. He felt frozen, winded, unable to stop the flood of anger flowing toward him. He had never realized Pigeonpaw felt this way. He had...he had never really thought about it, to be honest. "Pigeonpaw..."

But Pigeonpaw wasn't finished. "You don't even like me! You don't even want to be my mentor. Eaglestar has to give me my assessments because you don't care, you're never around – and guess what, I'm failing them. Everyone always tells me that you're such a great warrior, that you defeated Falconswoop and saved my father's life, and that I'm lucky to have you as my mentor." Here, his expression twisted into one of sheer disgust. "I don't feel lucky. I would rather have any other warrior in this Clan as my mentor, because at least they would try to help me instead of making me feel like such an abysmal failure all the time."

"Pigeonpaw!" Sootclaw tried once more to get his apprentice's attention, but the spiky-furred tom was in no mood to listen. There was anger shining in his eyes, anger and righteousness. Sootclaw had the impression that these were words Pigeonpaw had been meaning to say for a long time.

"You know what, Sootclaw?" Pigeonpaw's voice was becoming frantic. "I even asked Eaglestar to switch mentors – and he said no. So when Tanpaw and Nightpaw have their warrior names and I don't...it'll be your fault."

Those words wrenched at Sootclaw's heart and hurt more than anything else. He shook his head and opened his mouth, desperate to explain, to justify, to make Pigeonpaw understand...but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say, really. Pigeonpaw was right. He hadn't been the greatest of mentors. He was so peeved at his apprentice all the time, he never really wondered if Pigeonpaw was peeved at him as well.

Maybe he didn't always know best.

Pigeonpaw narrowed his eyes and turned away. "I'm going back to camp."

"Don't," was all Sootclaw managed to say. His apprentice ignored him, and Sootclaw watched as he padded away, disappearing into the treeline. "No..."

StarClan, he swore. In that moment, he felt more alone than ever. He needed Dawnpaw desperately, but she was gone. She hadn't talked to him since warning him of WindClan's attack. He missed the feeling of her mind touching his. He missed the way her mind trembled when he spoke to her. His heart thudded against his ribs and he found himself on the verge of breaking down. If only he could just collapse right here and now. Staring down at the snow, Sootclaw wondered if the Dark Forest was below him. Take me now, he thought. He almost wished they would.

But there was still a reason he needed to stay here. There was still one cat who was there for him, who loved him. He closed his eyes and brought her beautiful face to his mind. Lilystream. The she-cat he loved more than anything else.

Of all the things going wrong in his life, luck still came through for him. She was the one cat he needed the most right now – and they had already arranged a meeting tonight.

.

He left camp as soon as night had fallen, slipping away before anyone could notice. Only Greywing, sitting guard over the camp, remarked upon his leaving. "Where are you headed, Sootclaw?" asked the skinny tom amicably. Looking at him and his thin frame, Sootclaw wondered how he could possibly withstand the harsh cold.

"Out for a walk," said Sootclaw darkly. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Things aren't going so great with Pigeonpaw, and I just need some time by myself. I think I might patrol the border. I don't know."

Greywing nodded sympathetically. "I understand. We've all been through some tough times. Your issue with Pigeonpaw – is it anything I can help with? I'm going out hunting tomorrow with Nightpaw and wouldn't mind an extra set of paws."

Sootclaw blinked. On one paw, he knew he should be starting to pay better attention to his apprentice. On the other, it would be good to give time for Pigeonpaw to cool down. Seeing the young apprentice tomorrow would be very awkward. Besides, he would be tired from his night out. He would need the rest. "That...that would be great, Greywing, thanks."

"Not a problem," mewed Greywing cheerfully.

There was a pause. Sootclaw searched for something to say. "How's Sprucetail?"

Greywing's face sobered. "She's good," he mewed softly. "The cold isn't easy on her or the kits, especially because she's nursing Hailkit now as well. But she's a strong warrior and they're strong kits. They'll be apprentices soon enough. I hope Seedfur gets one – she's been desperate to prove herself ever since Kitetail left."

Kitetail. Sootclaw turned away so Greywing wouldn't see him wince. He missed his brother. It would be so good to have him in ShadowClan, though he knew the medicine cat probably wouldn't approve of his cross-Clan relationship. He sighed, feeling the ache in his chest intensify. "Right. Well... I'll see you later, Greywing."

The skinny warrior blinked sympathetically. "Take care, Sootclaw."

Guilt blossomed in his chest as he padded away from camp. Sootclaw tried to stuff those feelings away. He hated lying to his Clanmates, but what else could he do? Cringing, he let the darkness of the forest swallow him whole.

.

By the time he arrived at the RiverClan border, the moon was shining high in the night sky. It was nearly full, and Sootclaw knew there would be a Gathering tomorrow. He stared up at the sky for a moment. It was pitch-black and dotted with thousands of bright stars. His fallen ancestors, who were watching over him, glimmered brightly. He hoped they didn't disapprove of what he was doing. He hoped they understand.

I'm trying, StarClan, he thought desperately. Really, I am. I want to be a better mentor for Pigeonpaw. It's just so hard now that Dawnpaw's gone, you know? Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Vaguely, he wondered if Brambleclaw was watching over him. The tabby had been his guide once before, and for a moment, Sootclaw wished he would glide down from StarClan with all of the answers on his back. But StarClan could no longer interfere in Clan business. It was too risky.

He opened his mouth and was immediately overcome by a familiar scent. His heartbeat quickened and his body filled with excitement. He turned toward the scent's direction, eyes bright and eager. "Lilystream!" he mewed, and suddenly everything was alright once more.

The she-cat wound her way toward him through the reeds. He drank in the sight of her, loving the way her blue-grey pelt reflected the moon, and how her eyes glittered with starlight. The tom got up to meet her, pressing his muzzle against hers and feeling his whole body shudder with relief. "I missed you," he mewed quietly, pulling away. "You're so beautiful, even without that lump on your belly."

She purred and swatted at him playfully. Sootclaw just grinned, his chest alive with happiness. "What?" he asked cheekily, though his smarmy tone couldn't contain his bursting emotions. "It really was one of your best features."

It was so good to see her again, with all that he'd been through. She was his only solace right now and he needed her. Sootclaw wondered if she would ever fully understand the depth of his feelings. He remembered when he had stayed in RiverClan and she had comforted him, sleeping the night by his side. He had loved her even then. He loved her now, but it was a million times stronger, a million times deeper.

"I'm glad you seem to think so," she said, with a laugh. Their eyes met and he immediately softened as he let her love flow into him. She was so graceful; it took his breath away.

There was something he needed to tell her. "Lilystream."

The seriousness of his voice caught her attention. "Yes, Sootclaw?"

He loved the way she said his name. It sent a shiver down his spine. He moved closer to her and pressed his muzzle to her cheek, revelling in the feeling of her skin. "You know how much I love you, right? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I swear it on StarClan."

She leaned into him and he lost himself in the warmth of her touch. "I know," she mewed quietly. "I know. I love you too, Sootclaw. So much."

If only he could stay like this forever.

The she-cat pulled away. "I didn't come alone," she said quietly.

He frowned. "What do you mean?" Sootclaw mewed, mind filled with the vision of Toadstripe leaping from the bushes and slicing his throat.

Her face erupted into a smile. "Come on out, kits."

No... His breath flew out of his body as he watched the reeds rustle and three tiny kits emerge. They padded toward him slowly, staring up at him with wide, trusting eyes. The one leading the group was the biggest, a white-furred tom with amber eyes, surprisingly already showing their true colour. He was followed by a fluffy tortoiseshell, whose eyes were still a bright kit-blue. Last of all came the skinny, long-legged one, his golden-brown fur fluffed up against the wind.

Sootclaw didn't know how to feel. The kits sitting in front of them... they were his. He had long thought about this moment, but now that it was here, had no idea what to say. He loved them all so much. His chest felt like it would explode from pride.

"Icekit, Thornkit, Cricketkit, this is your father, Sootclaw," said Lilystream softly.

Thornkit narrowed her eyes. "He stinks!" she announced.

Sootclaw couldn't help but chuckle. He met Lilystream's eyes and saw his amusement echoed in them. Cricketkit padded toward him, bumping Thornkit out of the way. "That's ShadowClan smell, mousebrain. It's supposed to be gross so we don't cross their border."

Icekit merely made a hrumph noise and sat himself down. "Mom, if this is our father, why does he smell like ShadowClan?"

Sootclaw felt his breath catch in his throat. Maybe they were making a mistake by introducing him to the kits. Worry suddenly pierced him. Maybe the kits couldn't handle it. He didn't want them growing up and carrying this burden. He should have thought about it before.

"Your father is from ShadowClan," mewed Lilystream softly.

Thornkit wrinkled his nose. "That's dumb. He should come home with us."

Sootclaw laughed, casting Lilystream an anxious gaze. They should have known the kits were too young to understand. "I wish I could." StarClan, what had he been thinking? He loved them so much and now it was starting to hurt just a little bit. They were too young to understand it, and he envied them.

"Your father is a very important warrior," mewed Lilystream patiently. She looked down at the kits and the expression in her eyes, full of pure, unconditional love, blew him away. The bond between them was evident. "He has to stay in ShadowClan."

Sootclaw nodded and tried to look self-important. "Can you kits do something very important for me?"

Cricketkit and Thornkit looked up, eager to please. Even Icekit, stolid as he was, seemed interested. Sootclaw purred as he looked down at them. "I want you to keep this a secret, okay? Think of it as warrior training. You have to be able to keep secrets."

Thornkit nodded eagerly, and Icekit followed suit. Cricketkit looked up at him with wide blue eyes. Despite his young age, his resemblance to Sootclaw's mother was uncanny. There was just something about his face that blew Sootclaw away. "But why?" he asked, plaintively. "I want to tell my friends Birdkit and Marshkit how good a warrior you are. They'll be so jealous."

"You don't have to make them jealous," said Sootclaw in amusement, though on the inside he burned with pride. "They'll be your friends anyway, right?"

Next it was Thornkit who piped up. "Will you teach me how to be a great warrior?"

Sootclaw was taken a little off-guard. "You'll have to ask your mother," he mewed, casting Lilystream a nervous glance. Would it still be safe to meet up with them when they were older?

"But..." Cricketkit trailed off. "Sootclaw...will you still like us even if we're not great warriors like you?"

Icekit snorted. "Speak for yourself. I'm going to be a better warrior."

Sootclaw blinked. "Of course I'd still like you. I love all three of you. You're my kits. It doesn't matter whether or not you go up to be great warriors. I'd love you if you grew up to be medicine cats, or if you wanted to be a queen, Thornkit." The tortoiseshell made a face of disgust. Sootclaw continued: "You don't have to be the best warrior in the Clan to make me proud. Just do your best and be happy..." His eyes widened as he trailed off. StarClan take it all, he had been so blind! What a fool. He must have bees in his brain.

There was another cat who deserved his recognition as well. Pigeonpaw.

"Are you alright, Sootclaw?" asked Lilystream gently.

He frowned. "Of course. Sorry."

"Good," she mewed, pressing up against him. The kits padded forward and clambered into the hollow between his legs and his chest. Sootclaw felt their warmth against him and sighed, contented. This was his family. He was at home.

"I love you," he told Lilystream once more.

She purred, a deep vibration that reverberated through his chest. "I know, Sootclaw. I know."

.

To Sootclaw's anger, he wasn't picked to go to the Gathering the next night. Instead, he waited impatiently in the clearing for the chosen ShadowClan cats to return. Pigeonpaw had gone, along with Nightpaw, though Tanpaw remained. The burly young apprentice sat by his den, silently awaiting the return of his siblings. Milkyfur and Flowerpelt waited with him. Sootclaw had tried to make idle conversation, but he was too distracted – he needed to know what had happened with ThunderClan.

Finally, they returned. Sootclaw felt as though he had been waiting forever. He leapt up, hoping to see Pigeonpaw's face in the crowd. His apprentice was there, but when he saw Sootclaw, he ducked his head and turned away, making a beeline straight for Tanpaw. The dun-coloured apprentice met with him eagerly, desperate to know about the night's events.

Sootclaw padded up to Redfur, who was walking slightly apart from the rest of the group. "Anything important?" he asked.

She nodded. "Lots. Eaglestar will tell you."

The golden-brown tom was indeed preparing to make a statement. Sootclaw turned his attention toward his leader. He needed to know that ThunderClan was okay. If anyone had touched Dawnpaw, he would personally kill them.

The gathered cats fell silent as Eaglestar began to speak. "Tonight's Gathering was... unusual, to say the least," he mewed, pausing for effect. "WindClan did not show up; however, ThunderClan insists that WindClan attacked them. ThunderClan has also taken in a group of loners, providing them shelter for the leafbare. RiverClan is reporting a missing apprentice."

"Missing?" called out Sprucetail. She was standing by the nursery, her tail drawn over Streakkit and Fennelkit protectively. "What happened?"

Eaglestar met her gaze solemnly. "They don't know. Apparently she went hunting and never came back. It has been almost a moon. The other Clans swear they know nothing about it."

"Could WindClan have something to do with it?" asked Flowerpelt quietly.

"I wish I knew," mewed Eaglestar. "But it is not our place to intervene."

Seedfur spoke up. "Am I the only one who thinks ThunderClan is mouse-brained for taking in three loners when they can barely feed themselves?"

Sprucetail nodded in agreement. "It seems suspicious..."

"ThunderClan has always been known for helping the weak, even at their own expense," mewed Eaglestar, voice laced with a hint of scorn. "But from what I have heard, these loners are fighters. Perhaps we should be worried."

"Do you really think they would attack us?" asked Sootclaw. He doubted it. ThunderClan and ShadowClan had no reason to fight.

"I don't like to think so," said Eaglestar, "but all the other Clans have been acting strangely. Even RiverClan was...odd at the Gathering. They acted as though there was something to hide."

The ShadowClan cats exchanged nervous glances. Vaguely, Sootclaw wondered how Hailstripe would have reacted to this. He still missed his mentor, even after all these moons. He turned his head to look at the nursery and saw Hailkit sitting by himself, tail curled over his paws. He sat very proudly, and Sootpaw couldn't help but be impressed. There was something about Hailkit, something strong.

"Should we worry, Eaglestar?" asked Sprucetail.

The large tom paused. "I wouldn't say we should worry – but we should be prepared. Always stay alert, and remember, expect no friendship from the other Clans."

XX XX XX XX

A/N: So I absolutely adore Pigeonpaw more than anything else. He's growing up (at last). Poor Sootclaw has been so pre-occupied with everything that he's neglected his young charge. Can he get that back on track? We'll see. Anyway, a lot of things are happening in this chapter. Sootclaw sees his kits for the first time! He's also starting to realize that it's going to be tougher than he expected. There's no real conflict in this chapter, nothing exciting, but next chapter we head back to Thickfur (I know! Ah! I'm so excited to start writing it!) and things start to get serious.

Plus, with next chapter written, we will be halfway through the second book - and halfway through the trilogy.

I don't really have much to say in regard to this chapter. Next is Thickfur, then Sootclaw and Fogpaw, then Kitetail, and finally another Dawnpaw chapter. She's still plugging away at her goal down there in the Dark Forest. We'll also get back to Grainstar eventually; I haven't forgotten about him!

FawnHasAnArmyOfEvilPuppies: Haha yeah, well, they've basically been spending every moment together for the past while, so it shouldn't come as too big of a shock.

Coqui's Song: Hmm, I'll try to find some evidence of you hating him, haha. As for Chantelle, don't worry, you're not supposed to love her. Thanks for reviewing!

Aspen: Hey there, welcome aboard! Thanks for the review, it's really appreciated! Yeah, poor Elmheart, he's not in the best of positions. Anyway, here's your Sootclaw chapter, I hope you like it! :)

Senora Sapphire: Meet Sootclaw's kits! I love them, hope you do too. Sorry about your DawnxElm dreams being temporarily quashed, though. Thanks for the review!

Rebel Kitty Cat: Hey! Thanks for reviewing and welcome, haha! Hope to hear from you again! Thickfur isn't out of the picture as far as Dawnpaw's future romance goes, though neither is anyone else. You're just going to have to wait and see! But I think there are other ThickxDawn shippers, yes.

Thanks for reading and please review!

- PV :)