Sorry for the longer break between things, between starting a new job and general writers block, I spent a lot of time with about three quarters of this chapter written and just not knowing how to end it. I'm not particularly satisfied with it, but I don't know if that's because it's actually bad or if it's just because it's not as long as the previous couple chapters. Oh well, at least something happened in it.
She didn't speak to him for a week after, or even come out of the basement. And when she did come out, she still spoke to him tersely and didn't initiate any conversation. Seth wondered just what he'd done to offend her that much, if offering his blood had been something he shouldn't have done for more reasons than he thought, but he didn't broach the topic with her. As winter set in fully, the first snows falling the day she spoke to him again, though only very briefly, the more he knew that vampires wouldn't hunt when their footprints could be followed by daylight or determined hunters. Or maybe they were just cold. A Renais winter was never kind.
Certainly Eirika seemed to be cold, whenever she came up, she sat so close to the fire that he thought the flames might catch on her skirt, and she shook faintly like she was shivering. With her hair braided so it fell over one shoulder in a style that made her look younger and a new dress that he'd bought her to try and make up for offending her, she seemed almost vulnerable in a way he was sure she hadn't been since she was human. She stared into the fire as if searching for answers in the dancing flame and didn't come closer than ten feet to him. Which didn't matter as much now that her hunger had been sated for a while. She didn't make him nervous anymore.
It was snowing again that night, and the cold was bothering him as well. He'd closed the thick sun-blocking curtains and kept the fire going all day to try and get his house to be warmer, but it only worked so much. At least with the very early sunset, she was coming out earlier and earlier, sometimes while there was still enough residual light in the sky that he hadn't lit the lamps yet. She was curled up in front of the fire again, arms crossed over her knees as she stared into the fire, completely still. He couldn't see her face from where he stood by the stove, waiting for the hiss of the kettle that came seconds before the screech, but he was sure that she had the same vacant gaze that he'd seen before.
"Why do you hunt them?" she asked suddenly, her voice as dull as a rusted knife. Seth looked at her in surprise as she broke her silence and narrowly avoided pouring boiling water over his hand. She hadn't even looked away from the fire, but she must have sensed his surprise. "Most people have a reason...so what's yours?"
Seth set the kettle back down near the stove and picked up his mug, the heat soaking straight through the pottery into his fingers, and walked over closer. If she was going to talk, he might as well make it easier and not loom over her. "My family raised me to be a hunter," he said, sitting on the couch, still far enough away that she could have the space she desired. "It's been our job since the first vampires rose."
Eirika nodded slightly, "I suppose I understand that..." she said just as blankly, "you do seem like a man who fights battles he shouldn't for others who won't thank him." She finally looked at him without that little flinch she'd had since that night. "Why did you do it?"
He knew that she'd changed the subject, that she'd asked the question hanging between them for a fortnight, and at least he had an answer for it. He sat back in his chair, settling his tea down on the little table so that he couldn't spill it while talking. "I don't know. Because I couldn't think of another method, because something told me to." That feeling of remembrance rose again as something else occurred to him. "Because it was necessary."
Eirika drew in a sharp breath, and at first he thought the look on her face was anger. Then she leaned her head down and he realized it was sorrow. "You are the same," she whispered, and he was sure he wasn't meant to hear it by the way that it just barely reached his ears. Her red eyes were as expressive as he'd ever seen them, showing a layer he didn't know existed. Grief, old and scarred, and he didn't know why that was what he saw, but he knew that's what it was. "You aren't the first man to make that sacrifice," she said louder, looking at him again with eyes so sad and old that it hurt to see. "But the last one who did..."
She didn't have to finish her sentence for him to know what had happened. "He died," he said, watching her intently. "Something happened and he died."
Eirika nodded again, swallowing hard before her eyes shuttered closed and some of the pain left her face. "I don't pretend to be one of the ones who wallows in pity and sorrow over what I've lost, but even I still have my guilt." She twisted her hands up tightly in her dress till they disappeared into the blue fabric, setting her face almost mulishly. "That's why I won't allow you to do it again."
"I'm sorry?" he said, setting his tea back down rather than taking the sip he'd intended.
Eirika met his eyes squarely and for just a second she seemed to be how she had been described long ago, fierce and full of life, but also protective and kind. The kind of woman who he'd known he would follow without question. "I don't understand why, but I want to keep you safe. Even when you make me angry, I won't let anyone else hurt you. Not even Valter."
She stood up to her full height, her shoulders back and her chin high. "I forbid you to do such a thing again," she said powerfully, crimson eyes practically glowing, "if you must accept it as an order from your princess, then do so. But you will never, ever do such a foolish thing again." Her mouth twisted wryly as she said "after all, I do have some experience on how to deal with it."
He gave in, how was he supposed to argue with her? Though if she starved herself in an attempt to not bother him, he might have to reconsider. Despite the fact that she was still what he had sworn to kill, he was starting to grow fond of her. "Very well, your highness." he conceded, nodding his head in respect. "I will not do such a thing again."
The corners of her mouth quirked up a little more. "And while I'm doing this," she added, sounding like it was more of an afterthought than the first order, "I order you to stop addressing me that way, and don't do the thing where you nod and say it anyway. Even if I was still the princess, you would be esteemed enough to address me by my name should I demand it. Which I do."
Seth barely suppressed a smile back at her, feeling lighter than he had in a few days. All was forgiven, clearly. Though she was wrong that he would be esteemed enough to address her by name alone, even if she demanded it. There were still many classes between them and her name was too intimate for that. Again, he nodded his head respectfully, acknowledging her request in this. "Very well...Lady Eirika," he said, watching her for her reaction.
There was a moment of exasperation, then of vague amusement, and then she smiled outright, not just the quiet one she did usually. One that made her face light up completely. "That's better," she replied, looking him in the eyes so that he could see that her smile had softened even the bright red of hers. "I think I can accept that for now." Then she sat back down, without the tension that had her curling up against the fire, now she seemed just more comfortable there.
He sipped his tea, now cool enough that it didn't burn his tongue, and watched the firelight dancing off the walls and Eirika's face. "Is there still nothing out there?"
She glanced over at him before shaking her head. "There's nothing to hunt in the snow, either for us or them. Most go south to Grado and the larger cities, or the forests." Her lips curved up slightly. "I wait out the winter instead."
He thought for a second. "Why?" he asked, sipping his tea again. "Is there a particular reason?"
Eirika shrugged, a gesture made more regal than usual with the way she moved naturally. "I prefer to stay in Renais, even when the winter is hard." The light from the fire made her cheeks seem to glow pink. "Though if you asked me to go with you to Grado, I would come."
He almost choked on his tea "What?" he coughed, setting the cup down before he splashed it on himself. He hadn't said anything about the contents of the letter yet. "What are you talking about?"
The look in her eyes was almost mischievous. "When you hold the letter up so that the fire shines through the paper, I can make out the words sometimes." she told him, linking her hands together loosely over her knees. "I can travel much faster overland than you can when I'm alone, especially during the winter."
Seth coughed again as he continued trying to expel tea from his lungs. "That's good to know," he said hoarsely, wiping his mouth as he breathed in. "Though I don't particularly wish to go to Grado, even if my mother wishes it."
Eirika shrugged as if she knew that whatever he said, they might very well end up going. "Very well," she said, smiling still. "It's up to you."
She didn't know if he'd lost interest in her, or just had another plan waiting to come to fruition, but he'd left her in the dark that was no longer the same dark all alone for days, with only the emptiness to speak back to her. She thought she might go mad, if she wasn't already.
The worst thing about the empty stretches of time besides that she couldn't tell the difference between minutes and days was the slow encroaching of a thirst that sat at the back of her throat, a thirst that could not be quenched no matter how long she drank from the stream that ran at the back of the cave. The longer she sat alone, the worse it grew, till she thought that she might die from it, or lose her mind entirely.
What she wanted, she knew the taste of from battle, from split lips, from the time when she was young and fell down and knocked out two of her baby teeth and her mouth hurt for a week straight. When she was...when she was human, it was the hardest thing to acknowledge that she wasn't anymore because there was no word for what she was other than monster, the taste had sickened her, brought bile to the back of her throat. Now it seemed the most delicious thing. Blood.
The darkness ate at her mind just as the thirst did, and her will was starting to crumble. Was Valter leaving her all alone till she broke entirely, and became the same monster he was?