CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Dawnpaw slept well that night, her best sleep in longer than she could remember. There was a warmth pressed against her side, burrowing into her and warming her brittle bones. It comforted her and held her and kept all of the bad dreams away. It was still there when she woke, echoing through her body. Dawnpaw revelled in the feeling of heat, unusual here in this cold, dark forest. She wasn't sure what had caused it, only that she hoped it would never go away. She tried to picture it's source and caught only a flash of grey. Sootclaw, perhaps. The tom might have found a way to reach her, or at least have tried.

The feeling reminded her of the nights of her early apprenticeship, when she and Elmheart, then Elmpaw, had slept side-by-side in the den. But Elmheart had become a warrior and revealed his crush on her and it had ruined everything. Dawnpaw wanted to have him back, to be his best friend once more, but those days were long gone. She saw it whenever he looked at her, saw the anger and betrayal in his eyes. You were supposed to love me back, said those eyes. Dawnpaw longed for their friendship, yet she know she had already replaced him: Sootclaw was her best friend now, and she missed the ShadowClan warrior desperately.

Besides, the nights spent beside Elmheart were nights long gone. Dawnpaw had been different back then: small, fragile, weak. She hadn't seen it until coming down here. She hadn't realized how easy her life had been up there, where the sun permeated every corner of the forest and the birdsong filled the air. Her life had been so simple – except for Branchpaw.

Dawnpaw winced. No. She wouldn't think about it. I'll think about it later, she promised herself, just like she always did. The ginger apprentice was avoiding going over the events of that day. She remembered them in bits and pieces – it was a day she would never forget – but remembering it all at once was too difficult. Branchpaw... Her brother. It had been moons since his death, and sometimes Dawnpaw forgot what it had been like to have him around. Guilt seeped through her. She couldn't forget.

When she crawled out her makeshift den, Dawnpaw immediately sensed something different about the woods. The air was warmer here, and drier. There was no moisture crawling on her pelt and making her skin itch. It was also slightly brighter, and when she looked up, the greyness at the top of the sky was beginning to rust.

She heard Shredtail's pawsteps behind her and whipped around. "We're close," Dawnpaw mewed, certain.

The tabby tom nodded. "We'll be there before night falls."

Excitement coursed through Dawnpaw's veins. She was almost home. Her brutal journey was its end. In less than a day, she would once again be sharing tongues with Kitetail or training with Thickfur or – she could hardly contain her joy – talking with Sootclaw. Her heart ached to contact the ShadowClan warrior, but her last attempt at contacting him had taken so much out of her that she didn't have the strength to do it again.

"I... I can't really believe it," Dawnpaw admitted softly. "I've been here so long – a moon. Going back home seems like a dream."

"I know," said Shredtail, and there was an odd gentleness to his voice that gave Dawnpaw pause.

The ginger she-cat took a moment to drink in her surroundings. The air was soft on her fur, the ground warm and lush with grass underneath her paws. Scenting the air, she could taste the rich scents of moss and dirt. The wind rustled gently through the bushes and she thought she heard the faint noise of crickets chirping. In front of them stretched a dense birch forest, leaves green and bright, and with only a hint of the deadening fog.

"It's so beautiful here," she murmured.

Shredtail nodded. "It makes my fur prickle."

"You don't like it?" asked Dawnpaw.

The tabby smiled grimly. "I love it here, Dawnpaw. I wish I could stay here all the time. But I can't. It hurts, physically, to be here, for any cat of the Dark Forest. This isn't our place. It's StarClan's worse torture – we can come here, and we can see this beauty, but we cannot stay here for long. It's an eternity of temptation."

"Wait." She blinked. "It'll hurt you and Worm if you come with me?"

He chuckled, and the sound was bleak. "Don't worry about us. We knew the risks when we decided to deliver you."

"Okay..." Dawnpaw trailed off, a mixture of emotions battling in her chest. Another question flashed in her mind, something she had been wondered for while but had never remembered to ask. "Shredtail?"

"Another one?" He sighed. "Yes?"

"Why did it take so long?" she asked. "To go through the forest, I mean. We've been travelling for over a moon now. The forest can't possibly be that big, even with the layers, or whatever you called him."

Shredtail nodded in understanding. "The Dark Forest is hard to navigate," he mewed. "The longer you're here, the more experience you become at finding your way. I could travel to StarClan in a couple of days. Worm can move at a speed like that too. But you, you don't know what you're doing. You can't leap over the layers. Sometimes you fall through them."

"So I slowed you down?" she asked.

He narrowed his eyes. "Dawnpaw. The reason we came here was to deliver you. We knew all of this. Like I said, we were familiar with the risks and the...complications. Don't bother with apologies." His voice was tight.

Dawnpaw backed off. There was no real anger in his eyes, but she was still wary of setting off a spark that would wake the beast. Instead, she turned to the centre of their makeshift camp, where Worm had deposited a scrawny starling, the sole prize of his midnight hunt.

"Eat up," said Worm, materializing out of the forest behind her. Dawnpaw narrowed her eyes, now annoyed by his appearances instead of scared.

Shredtail nodded. "You need your strength. There's something we need to show you."

Dawnpaw furrowed her brow in confusion. The ginger she-cat picked up the starling in her jaws, wincing at the ashy taste. The food here was nothing more than a shadow of its real self, and yet it sustained her. It was all she had. She chewed quickly, conscious of Shredtail's eyes on her.

"Now?" Dawnpaw asked, finishing her meal. "We're almost there, though?"

His eyes met hers. "Dawnpaw, we can't follow you in there. What we're going to show you – it's now or never."

Right. Dawnpaw had always known that Shredtail and Worm wouldn't be able to go to StarClan with her. She had always counted that as a blessing, that she would be free from these dangerous cats. But Shredtail had become a mentor to her, almost a friend, and sometimes she forgot that he was evil, cursed to live in the Dark Forest forever.

"What?" she asked, reluctant. She didn't know what they were going to show her, but she hoped it didn't take up too much time. Dawnpaw wanted to be at the StarClan border as fast as physically possible. The image of Sootclaw flashed in her mind. She would visit him the first chance she got. She needed to see him again.

"Do you remember what I told you, about your mind link with Sootclaw?" Shredtail's voice was impassive. Dawnpaw met his gaze, wondering what this could be leading toward.

"Yeah," she mewed. "You said StarClan had given us pieces of each other, that part of me was in his mind and part of him was in mine."

He nodded. "There's more than that. When you went to...find Sootclaw, I guess you could say, what did you experience?"

Dawnpaw didn't need to pause and think. The experience was burned into her mind, scalded against the back of her eyelids. "There was an emptiness...it was terrible. Sootclaw's mind was like a light, waiting on the other side."

Shredtail nodded. "Now, what if I told you that that emptiness did not just exist between you and Sootclaw, but that it existed between every cat. Sootclaw's mind isn't the other side – it's just one of many 'lights' floating in the darkness. When StarClan merged your mind with Sootclaw's, they gave you the power to access the minds of all cats, though they didn't realize it. It's far more difficult than finding Sootclaw's, but it can be done."

No. Dawnpaw didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe the implications, but it made sense. She remembered the day of Branchpaw's death, when she had reached out and accidentally touched the frantic broiling of his mind, the rush of anger that had recoiled against her.

"I know it's hard to believe." Shredtail's voice was oddly gentle and his eyes held a hint of concern. "It's very difficult to control, only coming out in times of trauma or extreme need."

"I know," said Dawnpaw, quietly, the words barely escaping her muzzle. She swallowed heavily and repeated herself, louder this time. "I know."

Shredtail looked surprised, as did Worm, who was circling behind her. "How?" asked the pale tabby.

Dawnpaw shook her head. She had always thought that moment had been in her imagination, but if it was real...what did this mean for her? What did it mean for Sootclaw, or for their battle against the Dark Forest? The she-cat trembled. "Why are you telling me this?"

"StarClan gave you an incredible power," said Shredtail, voice even. "If you want to win the battle against the Dark Forest, you have to learn how to harness it."

She nodded. "And Sootclaw, does he have this power too?"

"You bet," said Worm, slinking around so he stood in front of her. "Now it's time for you to practice."

"Practice?" Dawnpaw was startled. They couldn't mean...could they? There was no way she would able to find their minds in the emptiness outside her mind.

Shredtail nodded. "Find me."

"How?" asked the ginger she-cat. "Where do I start?"

"Do it like you did with Sootclaw," the tabby instructed. "Take the plunge."

Dawnpaw shut her eyes. They were crazy, that was it. Shredtail and Worm were crazy. There was no way she was going to be able to find them. It had been difficult enough with Sootclaw. Squeezing her eyes even more tightly closed, she brought herself to the edge of her mind, where the silvery filaments, tender and raw, waved against the darkness. Instead of leaping into the emptiness, she visualized a scene. Dawnpaw was back in ThunderClan territory, standing over the lake.

This is my mind, she thought. Everything within the borders belonged to her. The lake, glittering below, represented the emptiness. Conjuring up an image of Shredtail, she sent him leaping into the lake, and watched the exact spot where he plunged below the water. Then, taking a deep breath, Dawnpaw leapt in after him.

The cold was overwhelming. Her flesh melded into her frozen bones. There was only blue in front of her eyes. Dawnpaw pressed on, swimming down toward the bottom, unsure of what she would find but certain that she needed to go there. Her lungs ached and blackness began to obscured her vision. She struggled for energy, for a final kick from her hind legs.

She pushed, felt the water flow by her face, and then everything was black.

.

Dawnpaw opened her eyes and found herself back in the Dark Forest. Everything looked familiar, and yet there was something oddly different. She drank in the air and coughed at the mustiness. It was older here, the fog thicker. Looking around, the she-cat saw no sign of either Shredtail or Worm.

"Hello?" she called out, before kicking herself. She didn't want to draw any unwanted attention. But where were her friends, if she could even call them that? Dawnpaw scented the air once more, and this time she caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Shredtail.

Swallowing heavily, Dawnpaw followed the scent, trying to fight the unease rising in her gut. She scented the air against, affirming that Shredtail was indeed nearby, and began to follow his scent. Noises came into focus, ringing in her ears, heated conversation and the snarls of cats fighting. Unease was prickling in her heart and she tried to keep herself calm. Take deep breaths, Dawnpaw. Deep breaths. There was something lighter about the forest; there was no terror lurking in the corners of her eyes, no eyeless warriors spying on her, their fur matted with blood.

She kept to the bushes as she walked, eventually coming upon a large clearing where two cats were in the middle of sparring. Dawnpaw hesitated, not wanting to draw attention to herself, only to nearly jump out of her skin when she realized there was a cat right next to her. He was a huge light brown tabby, but his face was young, and to her surprise, he didn't acknowledge her. In fact, Dawnpaw wondered if he could even see her? Was she invisible? Or was she still in Shredtail's mind, stumbling through an old memory?

The ginger she-cat turned her attention back to the cats in the clearing, who had stopped fighting, and her heart lurched as she recognized them as Shredtail and Thistleclaw. "That was pathetic, Thistleclaw," snarled the scarred brown tabby, eyes narrowed. "Do it again!"

Thistleclaw complied, launching himself at Shredtail, but the older warrior moved aside easily. Rage filled his eyes and he threw himself at Thistleclaw, knocking the tom down against the hard ground and holding him there, battering his face with a serious of vicious blows, his claws unsheathed. Thistleclaw cried out as blood sprayed across his face, staining his fur. Eventually Shredtail stepped back, allowing his apprentice to stagger wearily to his paws.

"My time is coming," said Thistleclaw through gritted teeth. Blood dripped into his eyes and Dawnpaw saw him try hard not to wince.

Shredtail let out a caustic chuckle. "Are you sure Sunstar won't soften and choose Bluefur as deputy instead?" he asked with a sneer.

Thistleclaw tensed. "Of course," he said, defensively. A sneer crept into his voice. "She's too busy grieving over Snowfur."

"Grief makes you strong," said Shredtail, and there was a slight hint of wisdom in his angry voice, an air of authority that gave him power over Thistleclaw. "What about you? Are you grieving for her?"

But Thistleclaw had had enough talking, and he threw himself at Shredtail once more. The two cats resumed their fighting, and Dawnpaw could only stagger back in incredulity. Shredtail had been Thistleclaw's mentor; Thistleclaw, the ultimate evil, the cat who was organizing the Dark Forest against the Clans... he had been trained by Shredtail. Horror ran through her and she felt her legs begin to buckle. Darkness entered the edges of her vision, and the forest around her went fuzzy. The she-cat's eyes rolled up to the back of her head and then she dropped, falling into darkness.

.

When she woke up, the first thing she saw was Shredtail's face looming over her. Dawnpaw felt her blood run cold and she tried to scramble away, but she was lying on the ground and her limbs were slow to respond to her mind's frantic call. She wanted to scream, but her throat was tight, and all she could do was stare at him in horror until the panic subsided.

Shredtail looked different too, weary, angry, even broken. Violated might have been the correct word. There was undisguised fury in his eyes when he looked at her, the lines of his face taut, but there was no fire in his anger, merely ice. He was trembling slightly, and for the first time, the huge brown tabby seemed to be at a loss for words. Behind him, Worm watched, posture anxious and submissive. He knew that something was wrong but the last thing he wanted to do was get involved.

"What did you do?" asked Shredtail, voice shaking with disbelief and anger.

This time, Dawnpaw managed to scramble away. Her muscles were tense and she knew she must have looked defensive as she stared him down. "I only did what you said, I found your mind."

"You went in it," said Shredtail, and she realized just how violated he must feel; Dawnpaw had gone in too far, just as she had to Sootpaw that one time, when she had assumed control of his mind for a few brief seconds. She couldn't imagine allowing someone such access to her thoughts. The she-cat felt slightly guilty, but that passed as the fear took over her once again.

"You were Thistleclaw's mentor," she said, trying to be brave.

He searched her eyes with his own. "I was."

"You didn't tell me," mewed Dawnpaw as she drew a shaky breath.

Shredtail shrugged. "It wasn't important."

"It is important," she persisted, shaking her head. Dawnpaw felt betrayed, disgusted, and of course, afraid for her safety. Shredtail was one of the most dangerous cats in the whole forest, and he had lulled her into trusting him. Dawnpaw had had no other choice, it was true, but the ginger she-cat still felt as though he had taken advantage of her. She had tried to be strong, had though she was growing strong, but she had been so naive. "You're important here, Shredtail. They all listen to you and respect you. You're not just a bad cat, you're one of the worst..."

His face was impassive, and she realized that was even worse than anger. "Yes," he said at last. "But I told you from the start, I was your only hope. I am helping you, Dawnpaw."

"Not anymore," she said, and now the fear was being replaced by a righteous anger. "I'm going to StarClan on my own." Dawnpaw knew where it was, could feel the pull and the light as it tugged at her core.

Shredtail looked as though he wanted so desperately to say something, and they stood like that for awhile, their eyes locked, but eventually he turned and walked away. "Come on, Worm, let's go." Dawnpaw watched him, finding herself surprised by this. After everything Shredtail had done for her, was he really going to walk away so easily? Part of her wanted to call him back, but she had made up her mind. All the ginger she-cat could do was watch as he and Worm vanished into the bushes. With that, she turned herself toward StarClan, took a deep breath, and began to walk.

.

She made it just as the sun was beginning to set. Dawnpaw knew instinctively that she had reached the border, though she didn't know how to explain it. There were no huge signs or landmark, no line drawn into the ground. There was just darkness and then there was light, fog and then a hazy, warm mist. Her paws carried her to the edge, but then something stopped him, and she found she couldn't walk any further. Dawnpaw sat down, staring out at the land in front of her – at StarClan! – and prayed that someone would show up. It was beautiful over there, filled with tall trees and a blue sky and red flowers waving in the breeze. She caught glimpses of it, but fog rolled over the border, obscuring her vision, and she was left with only a taste of StarClan, left desperately wanting to cross.

But there was no one there to help her.

Dawnpaw let out a sigh and looked down at her paws.

"Hello." The voice was loud and she looked up, startled, to see a cat sitting right in front of her where just before there had been no one. He was a young tom, perhaps even a kit, with light brown fur and a knowing smile on his face. "Do you remember me?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry."

The tom shrugged. "That's alright. I'm Sparrowkit."

Memories came back to Dawnpaw, memories of Branchpaw and his focused grey eyes, doing his work, claiming that something else had taken over him. Before she could ask Sparrowkit about it, she was aware of two other cats padding toward them from the StarClan side of the border. The first was all too familiar. Her heart raced.

Branchpaw.

The second looked familiar as well, and she recognized the she-cat as the one that had guided Branchpaw up to StarClan after his death. The she-cat was a beautiful tortoiseshell in colour, though an ugly scar ran across her throat, and Dawnpaw had to work to tear her eyes away. She met Branchpaw's grey gaze and felt her heart thud against her ribs. Her brother was here, in StarClan, safe. Oh, she had missed him so much. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. All Dawnpaw wanted to do was run to him, but she couldn't, and so she cursed the border between them.

"Dawnpaw," he mewed, grey eyes soft, and there was a pain in his gaze that tore at her. The tabby pressed himself against the she-cat beside him, obviously looking for stability. "You're here."

"I – I'm..." The words felt heavy in her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Branchpaw."

He tilted his head. "Don't be sorry," he mewed. "You saved me. I've been watching over you ever since, at least until the Dark Forest took you."

Relief flooded her. "So you know, then?" Dawnpaw asked eagerly. "StarClan knows what happened to me? You can help?"

Branchpaw's gaze flickered and filled Dawnpaw with unease. His face was covered in sadness and he looked down as the next words escape his mouth. They sounded tortured, bruised. "Not exactly."

The she-cat beside him stepped forward, looking at Dawnpaw with sorrow in her eyes. "You remember the rule, that for every action there is an opposite reaction?" she asked. When Dawnpaw nodded, she continued. "You cannot return to the world above until another cat is brought down here."

"So I have to wait for a cat to die?" Dawnpaw echoed. Those words had shaken her. All along, she had expected StarClan to have some sort of miracle solution to her problem, to fix it for her, to send her back to ThunderClan where she could see Thickfur and Kitetail once more.

"You have to wait for a cat to come down to the Dark Forest, and you must be ready when it happens," she mewed. "No other cat can do this, but you're not dead yet. You still have the power to return, if the moment is right."

Dawnpaw's mouth had dried. "Can I at least come into StarClan... while... while I wait?"

Branchpaw and the she-cat exchanged glances. Her brother shuffled his paws, looking unsure. "Blossompaw," he mewed. "Can you explain it?"

The tortoiseshell she-cat – Blossompaw – nodded. "The fabric between StarClan and the Dark Forest is weak. Things are starting to come apart. Things that shouldn't happen... they've already started. Cats caught in the in-between are starting to wake. Bringing you from the Dark Forest to StarClan is not a risk we are willing to take. No cat has crossed that line in countless moons. I'm sorry."

Dawnpaw absorbed the meaning of her words, that she would have to wait here, alone, without even the comfort of her brother's touch. She looked at him with wide eyes, so obviously distraught and broken, and he stared back, the weight of the world on his shoulders. She didn't know what to do. She just didn't know what to do.

Branchpaw turned. "Blossompaw, can you give us a moment?"

The she-cat nodded and padded off, gesturing for Sparrowkit to follow her. Dawnpaw watched them go before turning back to Branchpaw. Now that it was just the two of them, there was so much she wanted to say. Unfortunately, nothing came out but a weak chuckle. "So, are you two...?" It was a half-hearted joke. Her ability to form coherent thoughts was failing her.

Branchpaw didn't laugh. He looked at her with a serious expression on his face, something pained in his eyes. "I'm so sorry," the tom mewed. "I didn't want it to be like this. When I learned about what happened to you, I just couldn't believe it."

Dawnpaw ducked her head. "I know. It's not your fault."

When she looked back up, Branchpaw was staring at her with a strange warmth. "I'm so proud of you," he mewed. "You have no idea. What you did – you saved me, you saved ThunderClan. And now, here you are, desperate to save yourself."

"I love you," she blurted out, unable to contain herself, his words giving her new confidence. "I miss you every day but it hurts so much to think about that I spend all my time trying to block it out and... and... and you're my brother and you're gone."

All she wanted to do was bury herself in his fur, but he was so far away, and Dawnpaw was left with a feeling of emptiness that nothing could seal. She should be happy, to see him again, and she was, but he was so far away and this was as close as they would ever get. Branchpaw smiled at her, not a sad smile, but one of understanding. "I know. But I'm happy here. I'm finally home."

Home.

"I just want to go home," said Dawnpaw, with a sob, and then the emotions were too much for her. She needed to go, needed to find Shredtail and Worm and figure out her next move – she couldn't just wait – but her legs were rooted to the ground. She swallowed heavily. "Branchpaw? Will you sit with me awhile?"

Their gazes locked once more and he nodded and all she wanted to do was lose herself in those grey eyes. "Of course."

Maybe she wasn't as strong as she had previously thought. Maybe she still had a long way to go. But she had made it this far, and it was a start.

XX XX XX

A/N: To those of you reading this right now: wow, thanks. I don't deserve your dedication to this story, but I am grateful for it. I've had this chapter half-written for much too long and I decided to finish it. You know how I'm always saying "I promise to finish, no matter what" and so on? I had to sound cheesy, but it's true. I've written the ending to the trilogy about three times in my head and I want to get there no matter what. It might be a very long time. Who knows.

Next chapter is Kitetail and a bit of Grain, as well, since it's been awhile since we've checked in with him. His segments are fairly sparse, but that's because his plotline wraps up in the next book instead of this one. A lot is happening in this middle section and we'll only start to see the consequences later on...

I won't do review replies this chapter since it has been basically a million years, but if I've left questions of yours unanswered, please feel free to let me know and I'll try to answer them at the end of next chapter! Speaking of which, my plan tonight is to drink way too much coffee and stay up writing, so hopefully I'll get something done for once.

Haha, remember when I said I wanted to finish by May? Oh boy, that was pretty optimistic.

Thanks for reading and please review!

- PV :)