CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

They would be fighting WindClan right about now.

Fogpaw sat at the edge of the lake, her paws just about touching the ice that was covering the expanse of water. The sand underneath the rest of her was speckled with snow, chilling her paws and skin. The air was cold, but she barely felt it and it was not nearly as biting as the day before, and the sun shone down with bright light that reflected blindingly off the lake. She drank in the air, the familiar scents of RiverClan, of sand and reeds and fish, so comforting compared to the terrible scent of WindClan to which she had become accustomed.

She tried to hear across the lake, tried to send her sense out over its depths and onto the other side, where the Clans would be meeting, but all she could hear was the steady churning of the water underneath the thin layer of ice. It even sounded cold, which was an odd realization for her, the idea that she could detect feeling from sound. Now that she was safe again, the grey she-cat was starting to experiment with the power the darkness had given her, in order to fully understand it. It was exciting, all the things she could do, but still Fogpaw wished it had never happened at all. It hadn't been worth dying for.

Fogpaw wondered if they were killing the WindClan cats. As far as she knew there was no other way to get rid of the darkness but to kill the cats, no way to save their lives without jeopardizing others. She wanted to mourn their deaths, wanted to be sad over what had to happen, but she found that she just couldn't reach the emotion. Feelings were tiring and draining and it exhausted her to try for them. Instead, the she-cat just felt numb. At night she lay in her nest, awake, reading the dreams of others with tired disinterest. Nothing in the Clan was a secret to her anymore. Goldenfur had a crush on a ThunderClan tom named Owlfeather. Toadstar was filled with insecurities about his leadership. Lilystream's kits weren't actually Hazelthorn's, as she claimed. Any other cat might have been excited about the potential for gossip, but Fogpaw just didn't care.

And she hated it.

She did, however, care about the outcome of this battle. She was angry that Toadstar hadn't let her fight, though she supposed he had good reason. Fogpaw wanted to take revenge on the cats that had tormented and tortured her for so long, but deep inside she knew that they were stronger. Still, her powers would have made her useful against them, but every part of her encouraged her to hide her powers. Telling the others would just invite questions that she didn't want to deal with. Instead, she would just focus on her training and become a warrior and try and forget that any of this had ever happened.

Stripedpaw would be training too. Patchnose had agreed to take on the skinny tom as RiverClan's new medicine cat apprentice. Stripedpaw seemed excited, though nervous, as he had no substantial training – Stormtail had been too far gone in the darkness by the time Stripedpaw had become his apprentice. It irked Fogpaw to see Stripedpaw accepted into the Clan, especially in such an important position. He was so weak, so incompetent... but Toadstar wanted to give him a chance.

It seemed like everything was irking her lately.

"Mind if I sit?" asked an unfamiliar voice.

Fogpaw redacted her earlier statement – some things in the Clan were still a secret to her, specifically one thing: Grainheart.

"Go ahead," she said, flicking her tail at the sand beside her. Grainheart sat himself down, his huge form towering over hers. The large golden tabby looked tired, his eyes staring out sadly over the lake. He was a mystery to her, the one mind she couldn't hear. According to Toadstar, he was a loner of Clan descent who had joined them, but Fogpaw knew that there had to be something more to. What made his mind so special that it kept her powers out?

"Thank you," he rumbled in his deep voice. The tom wrapped his tail around his paws, settling comfortably into the sand. "What brings you out here?"

"Thinking about the battle," muttered Fogpaw, who didn't really appreciate being asked questions. She had become so irritable lately – she hated it. She used to be filled with so much energy and a powerful will to live, and now she was bothered by everything. Fogpaw knew it was the darkness making her angry. Even if it hadn't taken over her, it was still affecting her mind, turning her sunny disposition into something far more grey.

To her surprise, Grainheart didn't tell her off or chide her for thinking of something so morbid for a young apprentice. He seemed to respect her, which was a new feeling for Fogpaw. Stripedpaw looked up to her in childish awe, while everyone seemed to treat her like she was fragile. But Grainheart was careful with his words and he seemed like he was actually listening.

"You're angry," he guessed.

"It doesn't take a mind-reader to know that," Fogpaw said, rolling her eyes. He was right. She was angry. She was angry at herself, at Stripedpaw, at WindClan, at Toadstar, at Reedthroat, at Rainpaw... at everyone. "I don't know how to go back to normal," she admitted grudgingly. "And no one will talk to me about it."

"There is no normal anymore," Grainheart told her. "This is your new normal and you just have to figure out how to live with it. I did."

His words confused her and instead of responding, Fogpaw took the time to try and figure out what was so strange about him. Whenever she tried to listen to his thoughts, her hearing just bounced off a buzzing noise in his brain, as if everything in his mind was simply white noise. But she could get through that... right? She circled around the outside of it, looking for a way in in far more detail than she had before. It was all walled off, except...

Except a tiny little crack where she felt the threads of his mind hang bare, and she slipped in there, and suddenly all of his thoughts were engulfing her at once. Fogpaw couldn't breathe. She gasped for air, suffocating, smothered by the emotion, the love and loss and weariness, until at last they pushed her out and the wall sealed up behind her.

Grainheart was staring at her. "Want to talk about that?" he asked, and there was no doubt in her mind that he had noticed.

"How did you know?" she asked, panting, desperate for air and still feeling as though her lungs were being squeezed to a pulp.

He laughed, a tired laugh, though not a mean one. He didn't seem angry that she had pushed her way into his mind, only exhausted about it, and a little intrigued. "I've used my mind before, Fogpaw. I don't mean in the way everyone else does – I mean in the way that you do. I know all about the powers that some cats can have, the possibilities with it. I don't anymore – that chapter of my life is over – but for the longest time, I did..."

She blinked, unaware that other powers like hers existed. "You were like me?" she asked, intrigued despite herself, even though she had planned to be annoyed by Grainheart.

"Not exactly," he said. "My mind was linked to a very close friend of mine. We could send each other thoughts – we could even go into each other's minds if we wanted to, but we didn't unless it was an emergency, as we respected each other as well. It's amazing, the closeness that that can give you, the sense of support and stability."

Fogpaw frowned. "Why are you telling me all this?"

Grainstar nodded, acknowledging her question as a good one. "Because when you attempted to get into my mind and understand me, I also got a sense of you. I can tell that you're tired, that you're numb, that you're angry that you feel this way. You don't want this power but you're stuck with it and it's tearing you away from your friends and family."

He was right. Fogpaw let out a hiss of frustration. She had been interested in finding out more about him, not in letting him understand her. Now she was at a disadvantage and knew nothing about him, while he held all the power. "I can't sleep," she admitted, and as angry as she had been initially, Fogpaw had to admit that it was kind of nice to tell someone about her ability, someone who would understand. "I died, over in WindClan, and somehow I came back to life, and now I can't sleep and I can barely feel, and I hate it."

Grainheart pressed his tail against her flank. "It's alright," he mewed. "It's okay. Calm down. I know it's hard, but you can do this. I barely sleep either. I close my eyes, but I don't feel rested. I don't feel anything. I don't want to be here either, but for some reason I am. I should be in StarClan, but I'm not."

Fogpaw frowned. "What?"

Grainheart sighed. "Fogpaw, I feel like you need help understanding what has been done to you – and who you are becoming, and I can help you. But first... I want to tell you about myself. Because I'm tired and numb too, and opening up to someone would be nice."

The grey she-cats frown deepened. She didn't exactly want to have all of Grainheart's burdens placed on her shoulders, but she knew that she did need his help. If he could help her learn to control the darkness and overcome the anger it gave her... that was all Fogpaw wanted. She wanted to be better again, not like this. He had called it her new normal, but she hated it. "You'll help me?" she asked, in a quiet, weak voice that made her cringe. Opening up to someone... it was nice. And she was also very curious to know more about him as well.

Grainheart nodded. "You don't have to be alone."

"Okay," said Fogpaw, trying not to let her voice sound so shaky. "Alright. Yes."

He smiled and touched his tail to her flank again before he began to speak. "Toadstar and Reedthroat know the basics of this, who I am really, but not the entirety of it. It's going to be hard to believe."

Fogpaw shrugged. "I died and came back to life," she said bleakly. "I'll believe anything."

Grainheart chuckled weakly. "Alright then," he said, and then launched into his story. "My real name is Grainstar. I was the leader of RiverClan when Rowanstar was just a kit. I always thought I was a good leader, but I couldn't have been without the help of my best friend Sleetfur. He almost died as an apprentice... StarClan pushed our minds together and I used my strength to save him. After that, we were inseparable. But for everything StarClan does, the Dark Forest seems to have an answer... Sleetfur's only kit, Mistkit, was kidnapped by a warrior who had gone mad. The Dark Forest had whispered promises to him and so he took Mistkit and ran to the Twolegplace. I led a patrol to find her... and we never returned."

Fogpaw didn't realize had closely she had been listening, and she let out a cough to try and seem a little less interested. "What happened?"

Grainstar shrugged. "I don't really know," he said softly. "I remember dying, but it's vague and fuzzy. I thought I would go to StarClan, but... I never made it."

"Why not?" she asked, fear suddenly gripping her. What if she never made it to StarClan as well?

"I wish I knew," he mewed. "Maybe I was too far away. Still, everyone I love is there... and for some terrible reason, I'm stuck down here."

Fogpaw didn't know what to say to that. His story was tragic, but hers was as well. Maybe they could just be sad together. It was comforting, in a way. She didn't have to act happy, like everything was alright. She could just... be.

"Well, you get to be stuck with me," she said, forcing a laugh, hoping he appreciated the dark humour. She didn't know how to do any other kind. Not anymore.

x x x

They met WindClan by the lake, in the space where the ThunderClan and ShadowClan borders met. On one side of them was the water, covered in ice, cold and glittering, and on the other was a line of trees, tall and dark and foreboding. At the top of a small hill, Slatestar signalled a halt, and everyone fell in line. Standing barely fifty feet away were the WindClan cats, lead by Willowstar. They were all there, from apprentices to elders, each looking as strong as three normal warriors. A terrible, burning stench came from them, brought by the wind to the assembled army.

The scent of darkness.

Willowstar's lip curled up into a sneer. "So many of you!" she called out. "I wasn't expecting ShadowClan to be such cowards."

Beside him, Sootclaw saw Reedthroat rearing with anger, ready to fight. "I'll kill her," he hissed. "I don't even care. I'll do it. I want to so badly..." But he saw Sootclaw looking at him and relented. They both knew he wouldn't, no matter how much he wanted.

"We will defeat you," said Toadstar calmly. "Together we are strong, even against whatever darkness pervades you."

The WindClan leader sneered. "We'll see," she said, with a barking laugh. "This darkness makes us strong, Toadstar, too strong for even three Clans to handle." Then she flicked her tail, and with a terrible yowl, leapt forward.

The WindClan cats poured down the opposing hill toward them, and then the assembled Clan cats rushed down the slope, until they all met in the centre. Sootclaw stood at the top, frozen. He knew what he had asked his Clan to do – he had asked them to refrain from killing cats who definitely had no qualms killing them. He had to do this fast, or lives would be lost for nothing.

So he took a deep breath, and ran down.

At first he was overwhelmed. Cats were fighting everything, scratching and yowling in pain, screaming and hissing, and there was movement. He ducked as a cat leapt over him, and had to dodge as a pair of them – Beechclaw and Rootfur – came rolling into him. Rootfur was smaller, but he seemed so much stronger, Beechclaw doing everything in his power to avoid having his throat torn out. Owlfeather showed up behind him, trying to pull the WindClan cat off of his Clanmate. Seedfur was there too, but even with the three of them, they struggled to keep Rootfur at bay.

"Sootclaw!" snarled Beechclaw, writhing from side to side to avoid the WindClan tom's fangs, "Do your thing, whatever it is!'

Right, right. Sootclaw closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, tried to ignore the sounds of fighting and the scent of darkness and blood. It was just his mind, glowing in the blackness. He felt the space where Dawnpaw was, and he realized he needed to leave his own mind to find theirs. She had done it find him, so he had to have faith. Sootclaw took a deep breath and launched himself into the darkness, and to his surprise...

He didn't fall. He floated. He saw, around him, lights that were covered in tendrils of darkness. Some were so very far away, but there was one right beside him, pulsating with sickness. Rootfur. He pushed himself through the darkness, fighting the fear, and reached Rootfur's mind – and immediately was thrown out by the force of the sweet, sickly evil inside. It was too much for him to bear.

He had try again. He heard Beechclaw cry out in pain but couldn't dare to open his eyes, so he went back to Rootfur and reached inside once again, this time forcing himself to stay in the tom's mind. He saw the darkness, threads of it over every once-silver surface, and pulled them out in his paws. They wanted to slip, wanted to slide away, but he held strong. They were tightly fastened around Rootfur, but Sootclaw was stronger. He had to do this. It was the only way. He was selfless and strong and he would save them all.

The threads gave way and he fell back, clutching the darkness inside of him. He felt it slip inside his mind, spreading out, tickling him, whispering to him, crooning promises, but he pushed it away. His mind was stronger than average. If anyone could stand this, could survive it, it was Sootclaw.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Beechclaw lying on the ground, panting and exhausted, with Owlfeather and Seedfur slumped over him. Rootfur was there, disoriented as if he had just woken from a long sleep. He blinked up at them. "What happened?"

"Go," said Owlfeather wearily, pointing at the back lines where the medicine cats stood in wait. "They'll explain everything."

Sootclaw nodded along. He felt listless and sick, the darkness knocking around in his head. It knew it couldn't infect it, so it buzzed like a bee in his brain, driving him crazy, driving him insane.

Beechclaw scrambled to his paws. "You alright?" he asked gruffly.

"Yeah," lied Sootclaw. "Yeah, I'm fine." He took a moment to recover.

Then it was on to the next one. Beechclaw went back to the medicine cats, and Owlfeather and Seedfur threw themselves back into the fray. Sootclaw pushed his way through the fighting cats, looking for another from whom he could pull the darkness. At the edge of the battle, he found Greywing and Toadstar working together to subdue Tansypaw. Two competent warriors needed for one small apprentice. The darkness really was incredible.

"I'm here," he directed. "Keep her still." They obliged, and Sootclaw closed his eyes, letting himself wander back into the space outside his mind. He felt the darkness pulling him back, tiring him, making him want to fail. But he found her, and he found the darkness, and he pulled it out. It snapped and rushed into him, and he bit back a cry of pain as he struggled to stay on his feet. Sootclaw, it whispered. You could have everything, we could give you everything.

No, he told it, fighting it, berating it.

Tansypaw opened her eyes. "What's... where am I?" she asked.

Toadstar placed his tail on Sootclaw's flank. "Looks like StarClan was right," he mewed gruffly.

I love your daughter, Sootclaw wanted to blurt out, even though it wasn't the time. Maybe after this, maybe... maybe RiverClan might have a place for him. No. He couldn't think like that. ShadowClan was his home. He needed to concentrate. "Thank you," was all he said.

He kept going. Faces started to blur in front of him as he went from WindClan cat to WindClan cat, each one held down by two to four warriors. They all looked the same after a while, though the names appeared to him. Stormtail, Cedarpelt, Cloudstorm, Mottledfur, Gorsetooth... each one made him more tired, more drained, until all he wanted to do was lie down and sleep forever. The darkness wanted to drag him down but he resisted, resisted because he had to, because he was a champion of StarClan and he would give his life to save these cats.

I am selfless, he thought, and it pushed the darkness away.

There weren't many left. The line with the medicine cats kept getting bigger and the crowd in front of him was getting smaller and smaller. Soon only four cats remained: Frostpool, Icetail, Swiftfang... and Willowstar. There were currently six warriors fighting Willowstar, holding her at bay. Thickfur was there, snapping at her menacingly. Across from him, Eaglestar and Redfur paced, ready for any movement she might make. Troutleap was on her back, claws raking her skin, but Willowstar didn't seem to care. Larchstripe and Oaktail were there too, pushing her around. Willowstar was currently trying to dig her claws into Oaktail's neck, and he was barely ducking out of the way in time.

Her eyes flashed when she saw Sootclaw. "Another one? How many do you need to kill me?"

"I'm not here to kill you," he said calmly. "I'm here to save you."

She laughed. "I'd like to see you try."

So he tried, closing his eyes and finding her mind, but what he saw scared him more than anything. Willowstar's mind was a hub of activity, pulses and tendrils of darkness that had all but destroyed her original mind. He had no idea how much was left of her, but he had to try and save her. With a deep breath, Sootclaw pulled at the darkness. It gave away easily, but not in defeat – it wrapped around him, choking him, pulling him down. He tried to open his eyes but darkness spotted his vision. He couldn't breath. This was it, this was it, it was taking over his mind and he was going to die...

Sootclaw sunk to the ground. "Help!" he gasped, trying to see, but the world around him was a blur.

He was going to die and he had never told Dawnpaw his feelings, never apologized to Lilystream... there were so many things he wanted to do first.

But this was it.

Then he felt a presence at his side, a warmth pushing against his flank. "I'm here," said a familiar voice. "Give it to me. The darkness. I can take it. Please."

Sootclaw shook his head. "I can't, you'll die..."

"Sootclaw," the voice insisted. "I won't let you die. I can handle this. I promise."

So he did. He found the mind next to him, and with his last breath, delved into it and poured all of the darkness he had accumulated until now. He let out half of it, not wanting to subject his rescuer to all of it. All together, it would kill them. Half of it – they could survive, if they were strong enough. So he let it pour out, let it spread, and felt relieve flow through him as breath came back into his lungs. His energy returned. He was still here.

I'm alive.

He opened his eyes and got to his paws and turned to the cat beside him.

Russet.

The ginger tom had his eyes closed. His teeth were gritted and his claws were churning up the dirt below him as he tried to stomach the darkness. Sootclaw knew if there was anything else strong enough to handle it, it was Russet. He might have made mistakes, but he was immensely powerful. The rogue let out a terrible cry, and then his eyes flew open as he let out a few deep breaths.

"Thank you," murmured Sootclaw. Their eyes met and for a moment he finally understood everything about Russet, the reasoning behind his actions, the desire to be strong, the fear of weakness, the need to protect those he cared about. "You saved my life."

"You gave me the chance," said Russet softly. "It was the least I could do. "

The chance to be better.

They both turned to look at the battlefield. Sootclaw never thought he would be standing here with Russet, but he owed the tom his life. There was a moment of silence and then Russet spoke again, suddenly, looking off into the distance. "I killed one of them in the first battle. I couldn't stomach it. Killers are cowards, and I refuse to be like that. I want to... I want to protect the weak. To uphold the code. All I want is to say that in front of StarClan."

Sootclaw didn't know if any of the Clans would accept Russet, if he would ever receive his name, so he said the kindest thing he could think of. "StarClan already knows; they don't need a ceremony. They can see your heart."

"I hope so," said Russet softly. He sighed. "Anyway, you need to go. There's still more work to do."

Three cats left. With a lot of the darkness gone from his mind, Sootclaw knew he could take the last few. He leapt back into the fray, barely hesitating to reach their minds and rip the darkness out. He didn't give it a chance to wrap around him – he showed it in the bottom of his mind and locked it up. It couldn't hurt him anymore. He wouldn't let it. Frostpool, Icetail, Swiftfang – he took the darkness from them all and he hid it away inside himself. And when it was done, he could barely feel it.

Done.

The fight was over. Everywhere he looked, cats were nursing their wounds, but everyone seemed to be alive. Everyone but... his heart plummeted. Everyone but Seedfur. She lay on the ground, blood oozing from her wounds. Greywing sat beside her, hunched over in sadness, mourning. Sootlaw mourned too.

WindClan was grouped together, still trying to wrap their heads around what had happened. Willowstar was talking to Eaglestar, who was explaining the whole situation to her, what had happened with the darkness, and she was nodding along. She looked so small and vulnerable, nothing like the cat that had challenged Sootclaw and almost killed him.

He padded up toward the back lines, where everyone was gathered to recover, except for the few collecting Seedfur's body. Immediately, Kitetail rushed over to him, pressing himself against his brother's pelt. "You survived!"

Sootclaw nodded. "It was close," he admitted. "Russet saved me."

They were all staring at him in wonder, he realized, wonder and awe and happiness. He felt happy, like he had saved them all, but he knew how close it had been. He looked over at Russet and saw the pain in his eyes and knew that if it weren't for Russet, Sootclaw and many others would be dead. He had been selfless, but he hadn't done it alone.

Eaglestar broke away to come talk to him. "Sootclaw," he mewed. "You saved us – and you saved them. Let's go home – you can tell me everything on the way."

Weary and exhausted, Sootclaw obliged.

XX XX XX XX

A/N: Aaaaahh! The battle's done! And nothing sad happened this chapter (well... apart from Seedfur), but that only means you're going to be even more devastated in the next two chapters. It's a weird feeling, having a scene in your head for so long and then finally writing it out. And the Fogpaw scene is there because I wanted to tie up her and Grain's stories (at least a little) in order to prepare for the next book. The next chapter is already written and I'm going to start on the last one (eep!) once I post this.

Coqui's Song - I knew you were still out there somewhere, thanks for coming back!

Minatu-Corneille - Dawnpaw's life can pretty much only improve from here! Sad to hear you don't like Sootclaw but I guess he has enough fans :P And he didn't really get to do too much earlier in the book as well.

Cloudberry101 - Dawnheart is a good name, hmm ;) And wait, did you actually make a clay thing of him? That's awesome!

Thanks for reading and please review!

- PV :)