Gandalf the Gray was a recognized magician throughout Middle-earth, known by various names such as Tharkûn for the dwarves, Mithrandir for the Elves, and even the Gray Pilgrim for the men. Yet he had another title, much less flattering, a title he found insulting and totally false. The hobbits had given him the title of Peace-troubler, a title not very charming, and yet so well deserved. After all, was not he the one who convinced some Hobbits of the Took family to go on an adventure with him? These hobbits who had then a certain degree of respectability come back different, even more wild and fiery than before. And was not he, in a way, responsible for the pregnancy of Belladonna Took? If he had not taken her on one of his crappy adventures, then maybe Belladonna would have had a child with a hobbit, not a dwarf. Many hobbits thought this way, and then criticized the magician for the fact that Bilbo is much more dwarf than hobbit. However, they could not deny that they liked his fireworks, and so they tolerated him, except perhaps, the Sackville-Baggins.
Thus in the year 2946 of the Third Age, our sorcerer went to Bag End to carry out his plan, and if possible, to have a little fun. He was stared at by all the hobbits on his way, but he did not cared, because they did not interest him. Shortly after arriving at Hobbiton, he arrived at Bag End to find his dear friend Bilbo, quietly smoking a pipe on a bench outside. On this occasion, Bilbo was dressed simply, like any hobbit, if not the funny shoes he had on his feet. In fact, the latter had invented some kind of soft wooden plates, which were placed under the soles of the feet, and which held on thanks to braided rope bands which were held above the foot, just below the toes, related to platelets. This invention was then called Flip-flop, compared to the noise they made. Gandalf still remembered the day when Bilbo had to invent them. It was thirty years ago, and Bilbo had just noticed that the soles of his feet had become more sensitive, surely in relation to his dwarf ancestry. He then decided to invent shoes that could protect the underside of his feet, while leaving in the open the top and most importantly, the little fur he had on his feet. Looking back, the whole Shire had been interested by this invention, and many were conquered because it allowed them to keep their feet clean, without damaging their fur.
Bilbo sat quietly on a stone bench in front of the Bag End gate. He had his eyes closed, and was enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face while smoking the pipe and blowing smoke rings. His peace was disturbed by a round of smoke that came back to him, and when he opened his eyes, he saw his old gray friend in front of him, his eyes laughing.
"Good morning Gandalf! He declared, smiling at his old friend.
-What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? Replied the magician mischievously.
-All at once, I suppose. Whatever I'm a bit suspicious of your visit. Bilbo retorted, a smirk.
-Can I not visit an old friend? Gandalf said in a voice that wanted to be innocent.
-I'm not fooled, Gandalf. Come on, tell me the truth, what brings you?
-I am looking for someone to take part in an adventure." Gandalf said while leaning on his staff, raising his hat slightly to better immerse his eyes in that of his godson.
Indeed, Gandalf was named as the Godfather of Bilbo by Belladonna, to thank him for everything he had done, and because she had great confidence in him. That's why he spent a lot of time in the Shire, and even took Bilbo with him to take part in his adventures. Thanks to him, Bilbo had visited Rohan, Gondor, Rivendell and Lothlorien, carefully avoiding the Blue Mountains and all other Dwarf settlements.
Bilbo watched his godfather, thinking about why he wanted to take him back to an adventure. In retrospect, he had not heard of Balin lately, and it may have been related.
"An adventure? Hm, it looks interesting to me, and if you told me more about it around a cup of tea? Bilbo offered, getting up from his bench and heading for his smial.
-With pleasure, I always have some time for tea, especially since yours comes directly from the Lorien." Replied the magician, following his godson in his smial.
Gandalf particularly liked Bag End because the place was big enough for him, without him having to bend down. In a very short time, he found himself sitting in the dining room, a cup of tea in his hand, with small biscuits in front of him. Bilbo then decided to resume their conversation.
"So what is this adventure you were talking about?
-Well, remember the Lonely Mountain? Asked Gandalf with uncertainty.
-Oh yes, I remember it perfectly. The Kingdom of Erebor, of which my father was the last King, is that? If I remember correctly, and according to Balin, I am the legitimate heir, no?
-That's right. Nodded the wizard.
-However, I also remember that the place is infested by a red parasite on all fours that spits fire, if you know what I mean. Do not tell me that you think we can beat him together?" Bilbo asked amused.
Gandalf blushed slightly at the taunt of his godson. He cleared his throat a little before answering.
"Hm! Well, I can assure you that we will not be two, but more. In fact, I can tell you the exact number, and I have already found companions for our adventure.
-Ah good? And who are these unfortunate people who have accepted a suicidal mission? Bilbo said, arching an eyebrow.
-There are thirteen dwarves, including Balin, if that can reassure you.
-But it's perfect! We will finally be able to recover this Kingdom. When I think that Mom did not expect me to reign in my lifetime, convinced that it would be one of my children." Replied the almost dwarf happily, not suspecting that Gandalf still had a surprise for him.
Gandalf really appreciated the joy of his godson, and he had to admit that one of the reasons he had organized all this was to see him sit on the throne, knowing full well that the traits of hobbit in him would be perfect to rule a dwarven kingdom, and perhaps even reconcile the dwarves with the elves. Now he had to announce the surprise, hoping not to face the bad temper of his godson.
"Uh, to tell you everything, that's not all. The magician said nervously.
-What do you mean? Bilbo replied, frowning at his godfather.
-Hm, it may be time to tell you everything. The dwarves do not really know that you exist.
-What? Bilbo shouted, getting up from his chair, which fell backwards.
-It was for your good. We were afraid that by revealing your existence, some would try to kill you because you were too young.
-And what kept you from revealing everything to me after my seventieth birthday? Why not reveal my existence? Bilbo shouted, pointing his accusing finger at Gandalf.
-We were not sure about the reaction of some members of your dwarf family. And then, we did not believe that one day we would attempt to reconquer Erebor. Replied the magician, raising his hands as a sign of surrender.
-And tell me godfather, what is the reason for these dwarves to take back Erebor?
-They are led by Thorin, your nephew. He is now the official heir to the throne, but I can assure you that the throne will come back to you. The only problem…
-I guess he does not know I exist, does he not? Interrupted Bilbo, who crossed his arms over his chest.
-Indeed. And I invited them here ... tonight ... he and his company ...replied the magician sheepishly.
-And you're only announcing it to me now? Godfather!" Bilbo shouted.
Bilbo took his head in his hands, wondering what he had done to deserve such a godfather. And besides, Balin was surely in the game. He kept wondering how the dwarves would react to his existence, and above all, he knew he could not hide his origins, because he looked far too much like his father. He caught his breath, deciding to think more carefully.
"Well ... I guess it's too late to blame you anyway. How many guests should I expect? Bilbo said.
-There will be thirteen dwarves and myself. Replied the magician, smiling.
-Well ... well ... I guess I'll have to prepare food, thankfully I'm a very good cook. But first of all, I have to know, should I try to play comedy to hide my heritage, or announce the color from the start? He asked, his face impassive.
-Well, boy, I guess everything depends on you. However, it would be pointless to hide your inheritance, it will be necessary that you announce sooner or later the truth. Do you still have your father's ring?
-Yes! He showed his right hand with the ring.
-Perfect! This ring will affirm your heritage."
Bilbo nodded dryly and went directly into the kitchen to prepare everything, thanking Mahal that his pantry was full. Gandalf on his side, decided to slip away discreetly to join the dwarves.
The hours went by, while Bilbo garnished the table with succulent dishes, from crunchy pork to duck gizzard, not to mention smoked sausages, smoked pork belly, quail and other poultry. He decided to put few vegetables, knowing full well that they would not like the greenery, although Bilbo enjoys the vegetables with a certain moderation. He obviously added barrels of Ale in the dining room, as well as wine of excellent quality for Balin, Gandalf and him. The night began to fall as he prepared to welcome the members of the Company. On occasion, he had dressed in his finest clothes, consisting of luxurious traditional dwarf clothes embroidered with gold and silver. He even decided to wear most of his jewelry, with at least three rings on each hand, his favorite necklace, and the earring offered by his mother. Finally, he breaded hair, one representing the line of Durin, and another one as the legitimate heir of Erebor, which Balin taught him, adding at the same time the beads representing the House of Durin, his status as master Goldensmith, jeweler, and even a bead representing the Took family. Once he was ready, he waited, quietly brushing his beard with a small brush he always had on him. He came out of his contemplation as a rapid knock on his door was heard, and went to welcome his first guest.
When he opened the door, he met a tall bald dwarf with tattoos. Balin's brother, I will recognize his face anywhere. He thought.
Seeing that he was facing a dwarf, and surprised by his appearance, Dwalin froze for a few moments before bowing respectfully.
"Dwalin, son of Fundin, at your service.
-Bilbon, son of Thror, at your service." Bilbo replied, shocking the dwarf.
Dwalin looked up at Bilbo, and then noticed his breads. Not being as stupid as one might think, the dwarf quickly made the connection between Balin's daily trips to the Shire and the dwarf in front of him. His brother would seem to have found Thror's lost heir. That would complicate things. Bilbo waved him in, and the dwarf complied, bowing respectfully again. He was immediately taken to the dining room.
"I guess your brother did not inform you about my presence? Asked Bilbo then.
-No ... your majesty. He should have done it, I am the chief of the Royal Guard. Dwalin answered, unable to stop hating his brother at that moment.
-I see ... I'll let you discuss it with your brother in this case. The dining room is there." Bilbo said, while taking Dwalin into the dining room.
The warrior could only open his eyes wide when he saw all the food, and he began to salivate very quickly. Just then, more knocks were heard at the door, and Bilbo went to open, ordering Dwalin to stay in the room. He opened the door, and could only smile when he saw his old mentor.
"Balin! Said Bilbo
-Bilbo! I'm happy to see you. Replied the old man, who hugged him before smashing their skulls together.
-It seems you've been hiding things to me. Bilbo arched an eyebrow.
-Yes, but I assure you it was for your good. Do not worry, my boy, I'm sure your meeting with Thorin will be fine. Balin winked at him.
-I really hope so, my friend, I really hope so." Bilbo answered, taking Balin directly into the dining room. The latter greeted his brother, and they soon began to discuss.
"Goodnight brother! Started Balin.
-By my beard, you're bigger and smaller than last time. Dwalin answered quizzically.
-Bigger, not smaller. And quite smart enough for both of us. He banged their heads together.
-You hid the existence of our legitimate King!" Dwalin said, displeased.
Bilbo could not hear the rest of the conversation, because one more time, one knocked on his door. Frankly, Gandalf would have warned me they would arrive one by one, he thought. He decided to open the door once more, and this time he was graced by the presence of two young dwarves he had to admit, were quite attractive.
"Fili. Started the blond.
-And Kili. Continued the brown one.
-At your service! They finished together, bowing.
-You must be Mr. Tock! Continued Kili.
-Took! I am Bilbo Took, and you are rude. Bilbo replied mechanically.
-Sorry? Fili replied, while Kili's eyes were wide.
-You did not introduce yourself correctly. You must present your lineage first and foremost, this is the rule. Did not you learn anything? Struck Bilbo, hands on hips, a severe look on the face.
-Hue ... Fili and Kili, son of Vilis, at your service. Sorry, we did not want to disrespect you." Fili replied, bowing again.
He noticed the sudden silence of his younger brother, and looking at him, he was surprised to see him with his eyes wide open, looking at Bilbo as if he had seen Mahal in person. Fili decided to follow his gaze, and he finally saw the breads and beads of Bilbo. His jaw almost dropped.
"Bilbo, son of Thror, at your service. Please drop your weapons on the rack at the entrance, and clean your shoes on the stele provided for this purpose." Bilbo then declared, while signaling to the two dwarves to enter.
They executed immediately, laying down their weapons and cleaning their shoes. Kili was staring at Bilbo, while Fili was trying to figure out what was going on. He had heard rumors of an uncle who had disappeared, but he never thought he would find him here. Bilbo led them directly to the dining room, but barely had time to get there he heard someone knock on the door again. He then went towards it, scowling. He opened the door forcefully, and had to quickly back down to avoid being crushed by an avalanche of dwarves. Finally, he noticed Gandalf behind this small group.
"Gandalf ..." He said softly as the magician smiled cheerfully at him.
The dwarves introduced themselves quickly, and Oin and Gloin were most astonished when they saw Bilbo, and especially, his beads. They remembered Belladonna perfectly, and they immediately understood who Bilbo was the son of. Both did not hesitate to hug Bilbo in their arms, quite pleased to find another family member, while Ri and Ur families bowed very low. Dori was the strictest on tradition and respect, and he kept bowing to Bilbo, even treating Bilbo as if he were the guest, not the host. The latter did not understand anything, because in a few moments, he was sitting on a chair at the end of the table, while Dori served him a glass of wine. Gandalf could not help laughing at this scene, and he took advantage of the meal offered by Bilbo, like every member of the Company. They kept muttering to each other, surely as to the presence of Bilbo and above all, the consequences that would engender for their quest.
That's how they all dined together, the food flying through the room, the dwarves drinking, burping like pigs, and laughing to no end. They even began to sing, finally, until they were interrupted by three knocking at the door.
"He's here!" Gandalf said theatrically.
Gandalf and Bilbo went together to the door, and it was the magician who opened the door.
"Gandalf! You told me that this place would be easy to find. I lost my way ... twice!" Then began Thorin.
-Bilbo, let me introduce the leader of ..." Gandalf started, but he was silenced immediately.
Indeed, Bilbo and Thorin seemed to freeze, looking straight into each other's eyes. Their faces displayed a familiar emotion that made the magician smile. He had his doubts, but he seemed like he was right. Gandalf had heard that in 2796, Thorin had felt his longing, related to his One, the person that was intended for him. This coincided, coincidentally, with the birth of Bilbo, and Gandalf decided that one day he would bring them together to verify his theory. It seems he was not mistaken.
Suddenly, Thorin threw himself on Bilbo, and in two in three movements, placed his lips on his ferociously, literally devouring his mouth. Bilbo's eyes widened, but he could not resist so much ferocity, and he opened his mouth, allowing Thorin's tongue to invade his mouth. Bilbo moaned, as he appreciated these will sensations while Thorin growled into their kiss, smiling against his mouth. Soon, and without delay, Bilbo grabbed Thorin and took him to his room, taking a few breaks on the way, because Thorin could not help but press him to the walls to stick to him, while continuing kiss him with passion. They finally reached Bilbo's room, and a few minutes later, moans and hoarse groans were heard.
Still in the Hall, the members of the Company and Gandalf were speechless, and Ori, Kili, and Fili could not help but blush at Bilbo's moans, and especially, Thorin's grunts. Evidently, Dori threw himself on his little brother to clog his ears.
"Well, I think we will not have to worry about whether they will get along or not." Balin declared, while most of the dwarves burst out laughing, then bet on the length of their sport.
None of them noticed the complacent smile exchanged between Gandalf and Balin.