Impossible to Love You
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the brilliant Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I am not Masashi Kishimoto-sama, unfortunately.
Warnings: Incest, more of slutty Gaara.
Pairings: ItaSasu, GaaSasu
A/N: Well, a note on Sasuke's top, which as mentioned below later, would be a long-sleeved checkered shirt. I love this kind of shirt on men personally, since Jae Joongie wears them often. Haha. Once again, thank you guys for the lovely reviews! Panzy Mistress, I'm so glad I managed to answer your inquiries, be it intentional or not. I really do look into my precious reviews! Maybe because I have so little, haha. "As usual, Itachi's kindness was always done in halves, seeing as how he had not bothered to bring some water for his own brother." When I typed this line, I was smiling as well! I love this line! Ran Freylera Leto-sama, Molestation + Locker + Pinning My unfulfilled high school fantasy. By a hot guy of course. So I decided to give it to SasUKE instead. Hello Mitty, I'm sorry that you thought Sasuke was a wimp. I didn't really intend to make him this way, sigh. Still, thanks for your review! xXxUchihaL0v3rxXx, you reviewed my Song of the Leaves! Thank you!! I'm so happy you thought it was sweet!! XD
"Ita… Itachi." Sasuke mouthed his brother's name weakly.
"Don't the two of you know that this is a school, and a reputable school of music at that?" Itachi deadpanned, his face an imperturbable mask, eyes cold and hard like black stones.
"If I ever catch you two committing such a heinous act again you're fired." With that he spun around and walked away stiffly, pausing after a few steps.
"Sasuke. Come with me. I need to speak with you." Sasuke shot a death-glare at Gaara before following Itachi, who didn't even glance to check if Sasuke was following.
When they reached the principal office, Itachi slammed the door so hard that the hinges shook, and drew the blinds down savagely, before whipping to face Sasuke, his facade unmasked, face livid with uncontrollable rage.
"Otouto. What had I warned you? You defy me again and again. I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour anymore." Itachi said in a low, dark gravelly voice.
"I… It was Gaara. He forced me…" Sasuke mumbled.
"All I saw was the two of you making out. You seem to make everyone forget their duties. First, Orochimaru. Now, Gaara. Why are you always seducing people?" Itachi roared his final words, slamming hard on the desk.
"I didn't! I swear it was always them who came to me! You know very well all this, and how I hate attention!" Sasuke screamed back, his fury erupting within him.
"You liked Gaara's touches, didn't you? You were moaning so loudly I bet all the classes down the corridor could hear you. You're a disgrace to our family's name." Itachi continued as if he didn't hear Sasuke's retorts.
Sasuke lost himself then, and sprang on top of Itachi's desk, causing the papers to fly as he attempted to strike at Itachi. Itachi caught hold of his hand, and smirked down at him coldly.
"You seem to forget how you always lose to me when it comes to fighting, my dear weak otouto."
Sasuke snarled and raise another hand to strike, which Itachi took hold just as easily.
"Now what do you intend to do next, my little brother?" Itachi taunted, his ebony eyes gleaming.
Sasuke growled and launched at Itachi, pressing his full body weight down on him as he landed hard on Itachi's lap, pushing the chair against the wall in a hard thud that nearly tossed them both off balance.
"You're asking for a horse ride on my lap, otouto? You're getting a little too old for that, aren't you?" Itachi smirked impiously.
"You've never even given me a horse ride when I was young, nii-san." Sasuke said darkly, breathing down harshly at his old brother, as he sat straddled on his lap, whose smug face seemed to loom closer before him.
"Do you want me to give you one now?" Itachi purred, his warm breath a pleasant mix of coffee and mint, his feline eyes glittering with sudden mirth and an inscrutable expression. Sasuke inched away from his brother in a sudden shudder, shaking his head vehemently. Itachi was behaving oddly, and he had just pressed his face so close to Sasuke that their lips almost touched.
"Why not? You've always longed for my attention when you were younger." Itachi scoffed.
"I don't need it now. Now let go of me."
"And you need it from Gaara now instead?"
"No! Stop talking about him! I won't do anything more with him, I promise! Now let go!"
Itachi let go of him slowly, his dark eyes cold as frost as he examined Sasuke who sprang off him immediately, rubbing at his sore wrists. Sasuke then glared at him as he manoeuvred himself out from the enclosed space.
"May I take my leave now?" Sasuke muttered, still glaring.
Itachi nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off his brother as his brother exited the room.
Gaara stood waiting outside of the principal's office as Sasuke opened the door, and quickly grabbed his arm.
"What?" Sasuke asked in a flat tone, annoyed at the real culprit in front of hime.
"I guess your brother gave you a good dressing-down. Well, he's just being protective. So how about we go out on this Friday instead? After work?" Gaara asked, his hand sliding down to Sasuke's hips. Sasuke smacked his hand away.
"It was all your bloody fault and he blamed me. He's not being protective. He's just plain unreasonable. And why should I go out with someone who caused all this shit for me?"
"I want to treat you as a form of apology. Come on." Gaara insisted.
"No."
"We could continue with our activities…" Gaara tempted, an impish smile tugging at the ends of his lips.
"What makes you think I'm interested? You forced yourself on me." Sasuke snapped, his cheeks dipped in a tint of pink as he looked away from Gaara.
"By the way you're blushing now, and the way your body reacted." Gaara whispered into his ear.
Sasuke pushed him away roughly, his face burning a million degrees.
"So?" Gaara prompted.
"Fine then."
"Your number?" Gaara smirked victoriously.
Sasuke grumbled as he gave Gaara his number, and left hastily. When he returned to his desk, he felt a twinge of regret at his actions. What had he done? Just because Gaara was good at… those… things… he had agreed to go out with him?
Damn. And he hadn't realised he was gay as well. He wasn't… was he? He could be bisexual… Sasuke turned to look at Sakura and Ino chatting happily, his eyes sweeping over Ino's buxom curves which would send any straight guy into an erotic fantasy. Argh. Naruto was right. Fuck.
On Friday, at around 5pm, after work, Sasuke stood outside the school gates. The sun was setting behind a long line of apricot-hued clouds, turning the sky into a perfect blend of gold and orange. A black sports car stopped in front him, and the window rolled down, revealing Gaara's impassive face.
"Hop in."
Sasuke got in wordlessly next to Gaara, and they left the school compounds in a loud roar of engines. Gaara was dressed completely in black from top to bottom, with his shirt in the fishnet style Sasuke greatly admired on Itachi, half-concealed by a black long-sleeved shirt and low, tight pants barely hanging off his slim hips with multiple chains and a studded leather belt bearing a large silver skull emblem right above his crotch.
Sasuke drew his breath sharply when his eyes rested on the bulge below the skull emblem, and averted his eyes. Gaara noticed his reaction with a tiny smirk as he continued speeding down the lane. Sasuke cleared his throat and commented offhandedly, "You look good today."
Gaara glanced at him for a moment, his jade green eyes unnerving every inch of Sasuke before he spoke, "You look good enough to eat."
Sasuke looked down at his clothes in mild surprise. Due to Itachi's prissiness, all he wore was a white T-shirt and a checkered long-sleeved shirt, coupled with pale grey skinny jeans, with a long sliver chained cross necklace as his only accessory. He felt incredibly normal; no scratch that, a total geek as compared to Gaara.
"So, what would you like to have?" Gaara asked, a wry smirk tugging at the ends of his pale lips.
"I don't care. It's your apology. You decide." Sasuke huffed as he crossed his arms, glaring at the road.
"Let's go to Signature at Mandarin Oriental then. The foie gras and beets are nice, and they have an excellent view. There's a special offer of MO Premier Suite Stay currently as well." Gaara offered, gesturing his arm almost gallantly.
"I'm not going to stay in a hotel with you. A dinner, and that's all." Sasuke said curtly.
Gaara snickered and replied, "Let's just go to the bar there then."
"Are you sure we can enter though? They do have a dress code in this kind of high-class restaurants." Sasuke questioned.
Gaara shrugged. "I happen to know the owner of the restaurant. He's my father's golf-mate."
Sasuke grunted in reply, and the two of them lapsed in silence in the midst of the blaring rock music of the speeding car.
After the extremely satisfying dinner, Gaara leant towards Sasuke.
"Do you want to have a drink now perhaps?" He asked softly, placing his hand over Sasuke's.
Sasuke moved his hand away discreetly, and muttered a short "Hn."
A smile crept up from the corners of Gaara's lips slowly as he guided Sasuke towards the bar.
The two of them sat side-by-side on a soft, dark red couch, sipping champagne. The bar was lit in warm amber glows that curled around them softly in a coppery mist.
As Sasuke was sipping the bubbly champagne from the crystal glass, he felt a cold hand wrapping itself around his waist. He turned sharply and directed his piercing glare at the owner of the hand.
"Don't touch me. Your hands are cold." He snapped harshly.
Gaara merely smirked, and caressed his waist as his hands slipped under Sasuke's shirt.
"You have such a slim waist. My hands need some warming up, by the way." Gaara purred into his ear, nipping lightly at the shell of his ear.
Sasuke nearly jumped from the feel of teeth sinking onto his flesh.
"What are you? A vampire? Stop it!" He hissed as he started shifting his bottom away from the persistent redhead.
Gaara was deaf to his demands, and instead dropped his hands onto Sasuke's member, cupping and fondling it as he pressed his body closer. Sasuke barely contained his gasp as he gripped hard at Gaara's wrists, staring down at the glowing green eyes before him, wanton lust overflowing from the emerald depths.
"My hands really need some warmth… and you are providing it. Your hands feel cold too, babe. Want some warmth?" Gaara murmured as he blew onto Sasuke's face.
Sasuke shivered in response, muttering darkly, "There're people around."
"I'm an exhibitionist who forgot to take medications today. So I need to show…" Gaara whispered hotly as he lowered the zip of Sasuke's jeans.
Sasuke closed his eyes in an odd mix of anxiety, embarrassment and excitement. He had no idea if what Gaara had said was true and didn't want to know. All he knew was what he wanted currently, and it was the hands on him.
He stifled his groan of pleasure as Gaara dipped his hands underneath his boxers to wrap his fingers around his throbbing organ. Gaara leant upwards to reach his lips as he slid his butt on Sasuke's lap, brushing his hardness against Sasuke's thighs as he did so.
At the exact moment, Sasuke had a flashback to the moment when he was on Itachi's lap in the office, and whipped his head away from Gaara, only to see a dark familiar figure in front of him, drinking all alone. He gasped in horror, and shoved Gaara off him frantically, pulling up his zip.
"What happened?" Gaara frowned at him.
"My brother's here… Let's get out." Sasuke whispered anxiously, relieved that his brother hadn't seen them yet.
"Oh. What's wrong anyway? We're not in school now." Gaara asked blankly.
"He has an issue with gays." Sasuke said exasperatedly, tugging hard at Gaara's sleeves, motioning him to leave.
"What? He looks gay himself." Gaara scoffed loudly. Sasuke immediately clamped his palm over Gaara's mouth, staring anxiously at the direction of his brother.
His brother was draining deeply from the glass of alcohol, his brows furrowed deeply as if troubled. He slammed the glass down and motioned for another, before burrowing his head under his arms.
Sasuke stared intensely at the sight before him, wondering what in the world happened to his brother, who usually seemed so strong and infallible. A wet stroke in a deft motion up his palm startled him out of his thoughts and he instantly pulled his hand away, wiping it on the napkin before him, glaring in disgust at the smirking guy.
"What are you doing?" He hissed.
"I couldn't breathe very well." Gaara shrugged.
Then he pointed lazily towards Itachi's direction and said, "Look, there's a guy approaching him now. He could be his boyfriend. He looks a little too old though."
Sasuke turned his head towards Itachi and nearly reeled over, aghast. Why was Uchiha Madara meeting his brother? He was never on good terms with the family, because Sasuke's father had been the one to inherit the sole Uchiha fortune. And now it seemed that Itachi was to be the next successor, surely he wouldn't meet him just for a drink?
Sasuke's heart thumped a little faster in anticipation, longing to eavesdrop on them, but knowing he couldn't afford to be seen. He gripped the edge of the couch in frustration.
Itachi motioned Madara to sit next to him, still wearing that distraught expression on his usually stoic face. Madara smiled at him purposefully and they begun speaking in low, hushed tones, with Itachi's face turning more distressed as they spoke.
"Hmmm doesn't seem like they're together. In fact your brother looks troubled." Gaara analysed belatedly.
"That's my uncle. He has long since estranged himself from our family. I wonder why he's meeting my brother." Sasuke blurted worriedly.
"Man they're really disturbing our activity. Let's just go then." Gaara said, bored.
"You can go by yourself. I'm staying." Sasuke snapped.
"Man, what's so interesting about your uncle talking to your brother? You're all relatives." Gaara groaned.
"Shut up. Just go if you're dissatisfied." Sasuke barked.
"Fine." Gaara growled in return, and grabbed Sasuke's wrists, lugging an appalled Sasuke towards his brother and uncle.
"Hi. What a surprise." Gaara said in a velvety voice as his voice appeared to drop an octave lower.
Sasuke glanced at the exit and back to his brother and uncle in deep frustration, finally training his eyes on his uncle instead, unable to meet the eyes of his brother as Gaara curled his fingers around his waist, stroking it territorially.
"Hi Sasuke. Long time no see. I was just catching up with your brother here. You've grown into a real handsome lad. Is that your boyfriend?" Madara beamed at him.
"No. He's just a nobody. We're going." Sasuke said sullenly as he pried Gaara's hands off him.
"Oh come on Sasuke, we were kissi—" Gaara's words cut off abruptly as Sasuke clamped a hand over his mouth and pulled him away, never even taking a single glance at his brother.
Sasuke dragged Gaara out of the bar, only unhanding him when they were far from the bar, near the lift.
"How dare you do this! You totally ruined my life!" Sasuke
yelled, his voice strident to the point of glass-shattering.
"You need to relax man. I'm helping your brother accept the fact that you like men." Gaara replied smoothly.
"Fuck you I don't need that. From now on, stay away from me." Sasuke snarled, his handsome features marred in dark fury. He wheeled on his heel and stormed away from the desolate figure.
Itachi sat on the stool, draining yet another glass of champagne. Madara had long left him alone in the bar, drowning his troubles away as he thought bitterly of Sasuke and Gaara. A tough-looking callused hand snatched his glass away. He stared up at the intruder.
"Kisame."
"Itachi, stop drinking so much." Kisame chastised as he slid on the stool that Madara previously occupied.
"It's none of your business." Itachi grabbed the glass back gruffly, downing the champagne, finding it strangely tasteless.
Kisame sighed deeply. "You wanted me to meet up, and you're telling me it's none of my business now? Itachi, tell me what's wrong."
"Sasuke… He made out with some punk guy." Itachi answered dully after a momentary silence.
"There must be something else you're not telling." Kisame sniffed, twirling his thick finger around the glass rim.
"…Nothing." Itachi replied shortly.
Kisame opened his mouth to retort, only to be cut off by a pair of hands clamping down on his broad shoulders.
"Yo! We heard that big brother Itachi has some trouble! What is it? Sasuke-kun again?" Deidara bounced as he spoke cheerfully, his shock of blond locks glowing a kaleidoscope from the prismatic lights.
Itachi glared at Kisame, his usual sable irises glowing an eerie red in the bar's lightings, sending an icy chill down Kisame's spine, who was vaguely reminded of vampires as he looked back at his friend, swallowing a gulp.
"Why did you ask them to come?" Itachi growled.
"Well… er… I figure that more people would cheer you up better?" Kisame proffered insipidly.
Itachi's grip on his glass tightened, the veins on his knuckles throbbing like a gnarled tree branch in a tempest.
"Oh come on, we're all friends, aren't we?" Kisame implored.
"Yea! We deserve to know! Don't we Sasori?" Deidara chirped, not too brightly. Sasori grunted a noncommittal reply.
"No you don't deserve anything from me. Just drink your fill and leave me alone." Itachi grunted and gulped down another glass of champagne.
The trio looked at each other helplessly until he suddenly shot up and headed to the men's restroom in a flash.
Kisame opened the door to hear someone retching horribly.
He sighed. "Itachi! We'll be outside waiting for you alright?" More retching followed.
Itachi puked till his throat ran dry, and he heaved emptily into the toilet bowl filled with grotesque vomit. He flushed the contents away in disgust, and stumbled out of the cubicle towards the sink to rinse the revolting taste out of his mouth.
After rinsing, he splashed his face with cool water to sober up. He paused after a short moment, feeling the cold droplets trickle down his chin into the sink. Like tears.
He looked up. Into the mirror that reflected Sasuke back to him. He couldn't deny it. They were nearly carbon copies of each other. Anyone could tell that they were blood brothers.
"Did I fall in love with my own reflection then?" He pondered, and smirked, before his face crumbled in torment.
But Sasuke was way more beautiful than he ever will be. His skin was as fair and smooth as pearl, yet it felt like silken fire to the touch, warm and breathing.
The tresses that framed the porcelain face were the colour of the night ocean, the darkest of black tinged with the slightest hint of a deep oceanic blue when specks of the endless ocean meet the rays of the pallid moon.
Itachi touched his own hair gingerly. His dull black could never quite compare with Sasuke's raven wings. The onyx eyes so like his own often shone with ignited fury, so full of zest and life. Unlike his vacant eyes, Itachi thought, smiling wryly.
Itachi's fingers slowly danced towards his lips, caressing it softly. Sasuke's lips were the barest hint of the palest coral, full and shapely, tender to the touch and tasted of sin. He was intoxicated with the petal-like lips that softened Sasuke's sharp, angular features, lending a frailty to his masculine beauty. The one night he had gotten a taste of the forbidden fruit, he had carved the very feel and taste of Sasuke's warm lips into his memory.
Sasuke was still almost a head shorter than he was, which made him seem in even greater need of protection. Itachi smirked at the notion of Sasuke finding out that Itachi had always thought of Sasuke as someone to protect. His proud little brother would be livid. Itachi's thoughts skidded to an abrupt halt at that moment.
Brother. This word fell like doom around him, resonating over and over in his mind like an echo. He hated this word, he hated his parents for bringing him into this world along with Sasuke, he hated himself for feeling this sin. He had to do everything to protect their brotherly bonds, to protect Sasuke. And he would do anything.
Itachi stared at the mirror again. Sasuke reflected back to him. Fuck. He clenched his fist tight, digging his nails deep into the flesh of his palm. If only they weren't brothers—
"Argh!" He shouted angrily and punched the offending mirror, shattering it in a thousand pieces. Blood trickled down from his bruised knuckles, warm and stinging. He stared down in satisfaction at the broken glass shards that glittered like deadly diamonds in the dim glow of the restroom. A dark droplet fell upon the glass, silent and heavy. The door flung open.
"What happened?! I heard…" Kisame trailed off upon seeing Itachi's fist.
"Sasori! Deidara! Itachi's hurt!"