Impossible to Love You
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the brilliant Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I am not Masashi Kishimoto-sama, unfortunately.
Warnings: Incest, and a stupid ass pervert in this chapter.
Pairings: ItaSasu, Slight NaruNeji
A/N: Ok, I totally hated one scene in the chapter. It involves a snake creep. Argh. Thank you reviewers, as usual, the reviews were marvelicious and helped so much in the development of some parts of the story. Kaira-chan15, a new reader/reviewer for this story! Thank you so much for reviewing every chapter! I find that I seem to write many funny scenes despite setting this story as angst! Lol. Panzy Mistress, yay you loved my ItaSasu scene! Thank you! Sigh yea GaaSasu certainly don't have the spark, but I kind of find them sexy together. Oops. BlueSharingan101, I don't know when will Sasuke find out too! Haha this story is so not completed. Sigh. Hence the updates are a little slower, this chapter is shorter, because writer's block seems to a contagious disease all writers get. xXxUchihaL0v3rxXx, here's a jar of yaoi cookies!! Cool that you didn't hate Itachi, sigh I totally did. I'm so stupid. There were some signs, but I simply refused to believe that Itachi was good. Poor Sasuke, poor me. Hehe. I had thought Sai was a rejected experiment of Orochimaru somehow who was so crazy about Sasuke. Haha! Oh I went to listen to the song! Jaejoongie's voice at the beginning is really the best!! XD So gentle and gorgeous! LOVES!
Sasuke reached home past midnight, and stole across the long winding corridors towards his room. Just as he was approaching Itachi's room, he remembered that his parents weren't at home and relaxed his stride. When he reached Itachi's door, he noted that it was slightly ajar.
Light streamed out through the hole in a single shard of pale lemon glimmer. His foot landed softly on the floor as he pressed one eye through the crack, careful not to rest his weight on the oak door. Itachi reclined on his velvet couch; a phone cradled on his hand. Sasuke pressed his ear nearer to the door, but yet he could hear naught except for low mutterings.
He leant closer, frustrated, and at that moment, his phone rang. Shrieking into the deathly still. He stared down at it in horror, his heart almost bursting out of its cage. He scampered away from the door just as it swung wide open. Itachi stared down at him, his face solemn.
"What are you doing outside my door?"
"N-Nothing. I was just walking past." Sasuke answered lamely.
"Your phone sounded awfully near though."
"Well my volume was at the highest, I guess."
"Hmm. Why were you out till late?"
"I just had too much to talk to with my friends. Since when are you like kaa-san?" Sasuke grumbled, his lips curved downwards in a sulky droop.
Itachi's lips tweaked into a small smile as he ruffled Sasuke's hair.
"Goodnight, Sasuke."
Sasuke sulked at the small-boy treatment before wishing his brother a goodnight. As he lumbered towards his own room he touched his hair, wondering why Itachi was treating him like they were back in those days when Sasuke was still young. The flick on the forehead today as well… And Itachi hadn't wished Sasuke goodnight for a long time…
Maybe the woman Itachi loved was influencing him to be more caring… But Sasuke had never seen Itachi so exhausted before. This mystery lady must be a difficult case. Sasuke wheeled on his heel and gazed at the closed door shrouded in darkness. It was then he remembered the abominable phone call that nearly exposed him. He flipped open his phone. One missed call. Gaara. He snapped it shut again and trudged back to his room.
When he had done with showering and was lounging in his bed, his cellphone rang again. He flipped his phone open in exasperation; Gaara had already given him three missed calls. If he dared to call again Sasuke would switch his phone off for the night— It was Naruto. He answered the phone grumpily.
"SASUKE!"
"Don't shout into my ear."
"Sorry, but I think I'm in trouble."
"Hn."
"I think… I'm in lust with Neji's hair."
"You said that."
"No! I'm really serious about it! You've got to save me! Introduce me to some hot babes!"
Sasuke cringed at the word 'babes'. A nasty reminder about a particular jerk crashed over like a tidal wave. When he sees him again he had to stop him from saying the word 'babe'. It was awfully corny; and only reserved for girls. He loathed the word with all his being.
"Sasuke?"
"I think you've forgotten a very important fact. I'm gay." Sasuke replied sardonically.
"Shit! Oh no… do you think there's any possibility that Neji would find me sexy in any way? I mean, he's gay too." Naruto added hurriedly.
"I don't find you sexy, dobe."
"I'm not asking you!"
"I'm not Neji. How'd I know? I'm just giving you my gay perspective."
"Fuck, teme! Argh! I'm wasting my hard-earned money in calling you for advice, and all you're doing is mocking me!"
"I'm not a love specialist."
"Since when did I tell you I like Neji!? I only like his hair! His personality is utterly loathsome! He's pompous, arrogant, full of himself, snobbish, high-and-mighty… and he always yammers about predestined fates! Which I find is total bullshit!"
"Are you trying to brag about your limited vocabulary for the word 'proud'? Anyway, why are you so worked up? If you really like Neji, just chase after him."
"How many times must I tell you I don't frigging like that stuck-up prissy prince!"
"Alright. Just rub yourself in front of his picture then."
"TEME!"
"What do you want from me, usuratonkachi? Do you want me to message Neji now to ask if he finds you sexy? Or better yet, call him so I can hear the fluster in his voice?" Sasuke asked cynically, rolling his eyes.
"Hey that's a brilliant idea! Do that! But don't tell him that it was from me!"
"You're serious?" Sasuke asked, stupefied.
"Yeah! …You don't think it's a good idea?"
"I guess it's fine…"
"Alright! Call me back later!"
The phone clicked shut. Sasuke blinked his eyes rapidly. Naruto was of unsound mind, there was no doubt about it. He quickly dialled Neji's number, and waited.
"Hello."
"Neji, I've a question for you."
"What is it?"
"Do you find Naruto attractive?" Sasuke had to use superhuman force to hold in check his laughter that was bubbling within him, tickling his sides.
"You mean you do?"
"Huh?"
"No? Then why are you asking this question?" Neji's voice sounded wary.
"I was just wondering… Well, Naruto found your hair alluring. So I just thought—"
"No matchmaking, please."
"Hn. Why not?"
"We're friends, that's why! It'd be weird. Besides, Naruto is too noisy, brash and over-confident."
"I'm not trying to bring you guys together, actually. I'm just wondering if you find Naruto attractive. Personally, I find him adorable, at times when he isn't being too loud."
"…Yeah he's cute, I guess. I do admire his determination."
"Okay. So what type of guy do you like?"
"…I've got to go now."
"Alright, goodbye."
"Goodnight."
Sasuke dialled Naruto's number, duly proud that he understood Neji so well that he knew what would get Neji to get off the line fast.
"Sasuke!"
"He says you're kind of cute and he admires your determination, after much probing by me. And for the cute part, I had to torture my poor tongue by conjuring lies about you being adorable first, to get him to agree."
"Jeez. Thanks for your sucky information. But he truly said that he liked my never-say-die attitude? Cool!"
"Alright I'm going to sleep. Dream about Neji tonight." He clicked the phone shut before Naruto could bellow into his battered ears.
A soft chime of music indicated he had a new message. Without opening it he knew it was from the dobe.
'Teme! I don't like Neji! Have a nightmare about the redhead watshisname tonight! XP'
Sasuke tossed the phone into his drawer, before surrendering to the shadowy realms of sleep.
On Monday, Sasuke sat at the desk, drumming his fingers. Gaara slunk into the office, and tried to catch his eye, but he ignored the redhead totally as he begun to take a slip of paper and doodle once again. He would certainly prefer teaching music to this office boredom. Too bad he needed to learn management ropes through being a pathetic administrative help, he thought bitterly.
Sasuke suddenly perked up as an idea dawned down on him. He could play the violin at restaurants on weekends! He must begin searching the newspapers at night. Or he could always open up a newspaper right now… Sasuke stole a peek behind to check if anyone's looking, and his eyes fell on two figures conversing at the back of the office. Orochimaru and Gaara. Sasuke narrowed his black orbs in suspicion, as the two glanced at him discreetly whilst they spoke. Gaara looked dejected, whilst Orochimaru looked extremely displeased.
Sasuke swung his head back to the front of the office and interlocked his fingers as he rested his elbows on the table. He knew that Orochimaru had something to do with Gaara's entering the school with a certain agenda. He definitely had to find out what exactly was the secret agenda later.
A steaming cup of green tea cut across his vision as a pale hand rested it on the front desk. He gazed up into a pair of jade green eyes heavily lined with kohl, and his lips thinned as he shot daggers at the redhead.
"It's my apology to you. Whatever my sister had said, do not take it to heart." Gaara explained.
"You bring me tea to seek forgiveness? I'm not that cheap." Sasuke sneered.
"I could bring you to movies later, or wherever you want to go. Please accept my apology." Gaara said in a low voice, his head bowed low.
"Did Orochimaru ask you to do that? Why is he helping you?" Sasuke drilled.
"…He's my father's friend. I'll explain everything to you after work, when there's time."
"Just leave me be. I'm in no mood for your explanations right now."
Gaara merely continued staring at him with a pair of plaintive green eyes.
"If you don't leave now, I'll kick your balls later after hearing your excuse for your ulterior motive." Sasuke threatened, fury igniting his eyes into black pits of fire.
"It's nothing much really. If you'll just give me the chance—" Gaara implored. Sasuke gripped his wrist, squeezing it with all his strength, leaving red finger welts when he finally let go.
"Get out of my face now, or else."
Once Gaara finally retreated, Sasuke heaved an enormous sigh. He glanced at the cooling tea, and took several sips. His throat was as scratchy as the Sahara Desert after all that talking. He hated expending his energy to irritants. He crunched his face slightly at the odd taste of the tea, wondering what paltry brand of green tea they had in school.
A soft icy touch that pierced through his clothes made him jump. He turned his head to find manicured snow-white fingers caressing his shoulder. He stood up instantly, brushing the invisible specks of dust off his shoulder when the hand removed itself. Orochimaru stood in front of him, grinning lasciviously. He scowled at him, on his guard as he folded his arms in automatic protection.
"Come to my office, I need to speak to you." He beckoned as he sauntered towards his office. Sasuke tagged behind, his scowl deepening.
"Close the door after you and come here." Orochimaru commanded in a silky voice. Sasuke shut it cautiously and marched perfunctorily towards the hated person reclining on the sofa.
"Take a seat." Orochimaru patted the empty space next to him. Sasuke sat next to the ledge of the sofa. Orochimaru simply smiled and shifted his bottom next to Sasuke, pressing his thigh against Sasuke's.
"What do you want to say? Hurry up and speak!" Sasuke said harshly.
"I just want to tell you… that I miss your young and firm body." Orochimaru grinned lecherously and lunged at him.
Orochimaru crushed Sasuke with his weight and latched on his neck as he swiftly unbuttoned Sasuke's shirt. Sasuke gasped and tried to hit him, but his hands were trapped by Orochimaru's frame. He slid his right hand out whilst his left worked on pushing Orochimaru off him. His right hand curled around Orochimaru's collar and yanked hard. It drew Orochimaru back in surprise and he used his head to knock against Orochimaru's hard, before wrenching himself free and rushing to the door.
As he was reaching the door, the room seemed to spin. He wobbled on his feet that appeared to be rocking on a ship in stormy waters, attempting to maintain his balance. However the room did not stop spinning. Instead, it spun faster till his vision was a complete whirl and he fell onto the floor with a heavy thud. Orochimaru loomed above him, tall and ominous as he nailed a heavy shoe-clad foot on Sasuke's back, making him cry out in pain.
"Why do you always make it so tough? You could have just leant back and enjoyed it." Orochimaru sneered as he bent down to yank Sasuke's jeans down roughly, exposing his derriere to the cold air. He pinched it hard, enjoying Sasuke's squirming.
"You… why am I groggy? The tea…"
"You are really sharp to catch on so fast, but it's too late. Oh your butt is so smooth and firm." He purred as he stroked Sasuke's rump. A churning mix of terror and hatred seized Sasuke's whole being as he realised what would happen to him in the next moment. He snarled and hissed at Orochimaru like a wildcat trapped in a cage. Ferocious, but unthreatening.
The door creaked open at that moment. Sasuke glanced up and saw his own brother, staring at them in shock that gave way rapidly to a inferno rage that contorted his handsome face, his eyes blazing with outrage. He could have wept at the time; he had never been more humiliated.
Before he could do anything however, Itachi had charged forward like a seething mad bull and thrown Orochimaru off him. Itachi pounced onto Orochimaru and punched his face so hard Sasuke was sure he heard a crack.
Sasuke quickly chose that moment to pull up his pants and button his shirt, kneeling on the hard ground when his still spinning vision made his legs crumble into a heap after barely standing for a few seconds. By the time he finished fumbling with his shirt buttons, he heard Itachi finally speak, his voice dripping with deadly poison.
"Touch Sasuke again, and you'd die."
Orochimaru merely cackled, or rather, gurgled in blood-filled laughter as his mouth dripped in crimson blood.
"You can't do that, you know it. Unless you want the world to know about your shameful deed—" Itachi punched him once again.
"Sasuke, let's go." Itachi let go of a still sniggering Orochimaru and dragged Sasuke out of the office. He pulled Sasuke towards his own office amidst the whispers, shooting death-glares to everyone in the general office.
Once they entered his office, Itachi manoeuvred Sasuke to his couch and wrapped his arms around his brother. He brushed his fingers along Sasuke's hair, trying to soothe him.
"The room's still spinning…" Sasuke commented faintly, before slipping into unconsciousness, hearing a disembodied voice calling out his name frantically.
When he finally came to, he realised he was still in his brother's office. His brother was speaking on the phone, his voice almost cracking with panic.
"I'm afraid I can't attend the meeting today, an—an emergency occurred in school. I need to fix it."
Sasuke hobbled towards his brother, his gait unsteady, and clamped a palm on the broad shoulder, leaning his whole weight on Itachi.
Itachi spun around so fast Sasuke nearly lost his footing, but was saved in time by a strong arm enveloping his waist.
"I'll call you back later." Itachi breathed into the receiver and immediately turned his gaze down at his pale sibling.
"Sasuke, are you alright? This is the last meeting I'm going to cancel today, and then I can bring you home later."
"No. Don't. I'm fine. I just need to rest for a while. I didn't drink up all the tea…"
"He put something in your tea? That scoundrel. I swear—"
"Never mind that. I don't want to hear of it anymore."
Itachi scooped Sasuke into his arms and brought him to the couch, laying him down gingerly as if he was made of frail china.
"You need to go home and, you've to quit this job now. It's too dangerous. I'll answer to otou-san."
"…No. I won't quit. I must not let Oro—Orochimaru think I'm afraid of him."
"Then from now on you will answer only to me. Tell him that if he ever dares to speak to you again. But you should rest, at least for today. Go home, Sasuke. I'll fetch you after I cancel the last meeting."
"Nii-san. Did you even hear me? I said I'm fine. I can go home on my own. Your work is more important." Sasuke's lips quavered, and he hastily bit down on them and cast his eyes down upon his lap.
Itachi shut his lids in the torment that clawed at his eyes, his being, his heart. He couldn't help himself but indulge just this once… he leant forward and pressed his lips onto Sasuke's forehead. Sasuke stilled in bewilderment, before melting into his brother's rare embrace. At least, through this terrible ordeal, he had found something to cherish. His brother cared for him. Itachi held him for a long minute, relishing this moment of affection that he had not permitted himself in a long time.
After resting for half an hour, Sasuke stood up and smiled at Itachi, his coral lips curving into a brilliant smile that Itachi had not seen for years and dearly missed. Sasuke then turned slowly and left the office, his smile sliding off his face as he reached for the door knob.
When he was removing his bag from the locker at the hallway, a hand laid itself on his shoulder. He jerked his entire frame away in response, calming down slightly upon seeing bleak green irises staring at him. He turned away from the person and slammed his locker.
"What?"
"Did Orochimaru-san do anything to you? Why did Itachi-san bring you out of his office? And you're leaving now?" Gaara asked quietly.
"The tea. You were in it with him. Stop pretending any longer." Sasuke muttered, walking towards the sheltered walkway that led to the open gates of the school.
"What are you talking about?"
"My brother was right. I shouldn't have trusted someone like you. Even when exposed you're lying through your teeth."
Gaara fell in next to him, his footsteps matching Sasuke's as they strolled, making no attempts to reach out to Sasuke.
"I've nothing to do with whatever just happened to you, really. If Orochimaru-san did something to you, it wasn't my fault. I only listened to him because he's my father's friend. I'm serious about you."
Sasuke ignored him and flagged down a cab, slipping in effortlessly as he slammed the door on Gaara's rueful face.