Impossible to Love You
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the brilliant Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I am not Masashi Kishimoto-sama, unfortunately.
Warnings: Incest.
Pairings: ItaSasu, GaaSasu, NaruNeji, ShikaTema
A/N: It took so long! I'm so sorry but the next update would probably be in December for my finals are just a month away, and I've been really busy. Still have a final project to go, and I have dance training twice a week besides school! I officially have only one day of rest, which is devoted to more studying and homework, damnit. So don't hate me! At least this chapter is slightly longer! Review pwease!! Kaira-chan15, oh I was trying to make Madara seem like Tobi. That's why he's so loveable now. Haha. Kaline Reine, now this is yet another a while between updates, sorry to keep you waiting. Enjoy this chapter! XD And I love you for thinking I'm a good writer! I think I suck, though, sometimes. KiaraNxiar!! I loved your 'Kyuubi's Fiancée'! I'm so sad that you couldn't find any inspiration to continue spinning the story though. And I love your review. My story is so fabulous? Why thank you very much! And I certainly do hope I'll be able to break that curse too, for I had joined this community after reading so many fantastic discontinued stories. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I want a full story, so I shall make it. Or at least that's what I hope. Haha. But I do have a clear picture of where this story is going, so no worries! For now! XP ., yes I've found a new YunJae lover in you! And Jaejoong's my fave too!! XD~ xXxUchihaL0v3rxXx, Wow I updated on your birthday. At least, in my region it's Orochimaru's birthday, lol. Treat it as my birthday gift for you! Yes, Mirotic is damn erotic, erm, pardon the lousy pun. They're bleeding hot. God.
Sasuke greeted Temari and Shikamaru awkwardly, his face scrunched almost in a sharp pinch. Temari smirked at Sasuke maliciously whilst Shikamaru looked as nonchalant as ever.
"She's yours for the night. I've told her every answer to the questions a prospective mother-in-law would likely ask. Goodbye."
"Alright. Thanks. Bye." Sasuke muttered sullenly, glaring a Temari.
Once Shikamaru left, Temari's smile curled higher, almost reaching her ears as she advanced towards Sasuke and linked her arm with his, much to his disgust.
"My, my, am I honoured to be holding the arm of such a cutie. Now, now, don't scowl like that; your parents would know instantly that we're not together."
"I don't smile often so it's not a problem. Now would you let go till we're nearing my house?" Sasuke growled unhappily.
"Fine, fine. Don't be so rude, boy. I am doing you an enormous favour here." Temari snorted, releasing him as she strode forward confidently. Sasuke drilled holes into her back as he plodded behind her in great reluctance.
Mikoto shot up from the couch upon their arrival, almost clapping her hands in glee as she rushed forward to greet Temari.
"Hello! I've been hearing a lot about you from Sasuke-kun! I'm so happy to finally see you! I've made a really sumptuous dinner tonight! Do you eat curry?"
"Good evening, I'm honoured to be able to finally meet Sasuke-kun's parents. I've been begging him for so long. He talks about me? And yes, I do eat curry. Oh, this is my little gesture, by the way." Temari smiled sweetly, bowing her head low as she offered a basket of fruits.
"Oh why thank you dear! Oh yes he talks about you incessantly. Come in, have a seat at the table whilst the food is been served." Mikoto gushed.
Sasuke sat next to Temari, with Itachi and Mikoto facing opposite him while Fugaku reclined at the head of the table. Sasuke concentrated on his curry whilst Temari entertained.
"So how long have you been together? How did you get together? Where did you two meet? Are you happy with my son? He's not very vocal, but he's a very affectionate boy deep down." Mikoto poured a torrent of questions. Fugaku placed his palm over the back of her hand, his eyes warning her. Rose pink warmed her cheeks as she stared down at her plate.
Temari replied smoothly, "Oh yes he is very sweet to me, though he doesn't speak much, he often does such darling things like surprising me with lilies—I love lilies. We shared the same class in school, and he sat behind me. I guess we grew into each other after some time. Next week is our 4th month anniversary!"
"Oh how sweet! Sasuke darling, you're such a loving boyfriend! So what are you doing now? Working part-time like Sasuke?" Mikoto beamed, immediately looking up at Temari.
"Yes, I'm working in my father's company."
Fugaku sat up straighter at her answer, and asked, "So what business is your father in?"
"He's in the electronics line." Then she continued to say the name of the company which made Fugaku's eyes grow wide as saucers.
"He is a very successful businessman. Your father's company is a large MNC, with so many branches overseas. Currently Sasuke's brother is trying to construct our school branches abroad, but I don't know if he can make it. He lacks the expertise. It'd be good if your father would help in consulting. Of course, he being a busy man, we'll ensure that his precious time is not wasted. We'll pay a fee."
"Otou-san, what are you doing? Speaking business during dinner is inappropriate!" Mikoto chastised in horror.
"It's alright, I'll—" Temari started in haste, but was cut by Itachi immediately.
"I know what I'm doing, otou-san. Besides, Madara-san is helping. He happens to have contacts with Temari's father."
The whole family stared at Itachi incredulously. Fugaku was the first to recover, and coughed dryly.
"Oh yes, how could I have forgotten. Madara is such a resourceful man after all." Fugaku said grimly.
Sasuke wondered at Madara's resourcefulness. Just what kind of business was Madara in that made him so successful? Wait a minute, Orochimaru knew Gaara's father as well. How did a mere administrations manager get to know such a big shot? Could they have been old schoolmates? Sasuke mulled over the thought silently, jerking when a soft hand placed itself over his. Temari winked at him, before turning her head towards Mikoto.
"Aunt, next Saturday is our anniversary, so I was wondering…" She trailed off, and looked down at her lap.
"Oh yes! Of course you may go out with him!" Mikoto approved instantly.
"Sasuke-kun was thinking of bringing me to Kusatsu for a two day-one night stay… I just thought that I should seek your approval…" Temari said shyly. Sasuke almost suffered from spasm shock at her words. That meant Gaara—that sneaky bastard! Sasuke snuck a quick look at his family; Fugaku's frown etched deep into his face, Mikoto's cheeks were dusted in pink even as the rest of her face turned paler, and Itachi, Itachi was staring at Sasuke with his endless sable eyes that betrayed no emotion. Sasuke bristled at Itachi's lack of expression. What did that mean? Did he not care about his brother's possible danger at being alone with a sex maniac? Fine, since he didn't—
"Sasuke… you're really thinking of it?" Mikoto asked faintly.
"Why not? I'm grown-up enough to be responsible. Temari has never been to Kusatsu, but she has always longed to go." Sasuke answered curtly, staring back Itachi evenly.
"Alright, sweetie, since you put it this way. Otou-san what do you think?"
"I think they are old enough to make this kind of decisions." Fugaku decided, though his upper lip grew stiff.
"It's decided then! Enjoy yourselves in Kusatsu! Take lots of pictures!" Mikoto smiled encouragingly.
"We will." Temari returned a brilliant smile.
When they were done with dinner and dessert, Sasuke hastily excused themselves and dragged Temari to his room, locking his door.
"What the hell did Gaara plan?" He exploded.
"Relax, I was the one who encouraged Gaara. It's not like he planned it all alone. Besides, Shikamaru and I are tagging along, to take the 'couple pictures' your mother would want."
"You had it all planned? Why didn't Shikamaru tell me?"
"Because I haven't told him. Stop making such a big fuss. You do owe me a favour after all. Also, I'm going to be there to make sure you do not bully my brother. He has a soft heart."
Sasuke snorted. "It's more likely he will be the one taking advantage of me. How will the rooms be like? I don't care, I want a single room to myself."
"This sort of decision doesn't lay with you, honey. You owe us, so we're the boss." Temari drawled, wagging her finger at him.
Sasuke glared at Temari, tempted to punch the smirk off her smug face.
"Fine." He spat.
"Good that you finally see sense. I'm surprised you actually could play along so well with regards to our trip though. I'd thought I've have to pick up your mess. What made you play along anyway?" Temari asked curiously.
"None of your business." Sasuke replied roughly, inwardly embarrassed that it was because of Itachi. What would she think if she knew? He was such a brother's boy. Sasuke felt like strangling himself for being this way. Itachi probably had forgotten all about their dinner talk by now. Why was he so concerned that Itachi should care?
A swift rap at the door startled them out of their tête-è-tête and Temari instantly clasped Sasuke's hands, causing him to blanch from the unwanted contact. The door swung open, and Temari swivelled to smile sweetly at the intruder. Itachi merely stared at them with unblinking sable eyes as Sasuke struck Temari's hands away from him in an instant.
"He knows we're not together." Sasuke mumbled in a low tone.
"I know, Gaara told me all about him. I just thought it was your mother." Temari stuck her tongue out at him, vaguely reminding him of a nasty cat as she did so.
"What?" Sasuke barked rudely.
"Kaa-san wants the both of you down for dinner. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Not at all. You know, you're pretty hot, Gaara had told me you two look very much alike, but I hadn't believed him then. I mean, how could it be possible that the world consists of so many gorgeous men? But I was so wrong." Temari cooed, her lashes fluttering like a hummingbird's wings.
Itachi stiffened at her words, and stared at her coldly before replying.
"We're nothing alike, my brother and I."
A chord of pain struck at Sasuke's heart upon hearing his brother's words. Did Itachi look down on him so much? He didn't realise that. He knew he could never compare with his brother's capabilities, no matter how much he tried, but he was trying! Itachi should have, at the very least, acknowledged his efforts.
"Oh yes you're very much manlier, my type." Temari winked flirtatiously, unruffled by his icy attitude. Itachi merely held the door open for them in silence. Sasuke strode past him in a flash, his hands tight in the form of a fist.
Once they were done with the dessert, and Sasuke had finally returned Temari to Shikamaru over at Shikamaru's place, he heaved a gigantic sigh. His worst week was yet to begin. He positively dreaded meeting Gaara again. And to spend two whole days with him in Kusatsu— Hell.
Yes, he regretted, regretted every second spent with Gaara. He shouldn't have engaged in intimate doings with Gaara. How he despised himself for it. In a moment of curiosity, he led himself into this mess. He had never been the slightest interested in Gaara, yet he had continued leading him on, and now he could not seem to untangle himself from the spiny cobweb of trouble.
He returned home an hour later, and dragged himself up to his bathroom, entering the bath after preparing it with scented bubbles. He desperately needed some form of relaxation, just a tiny moment to forget all these stupid problems vexing his life. When he was done, he got up from the bathtub and drained the water, before wrapping a warm towel around his hips.
He came out of the bathroom, and nearly dropped his towel from shock. Itachi was sitting on his couch, and looked equally stunned as well. Sasuke hastily recovered his loosened grip on the towel that fortunately provided some protection, though not much since he had always preferred smaller towels. The towel rode above his knees, resting limply on his thighs as he flushed madly.
Why was he so shy around his brother? They grew up together, and they're both men for God's sake! Besides, it wasn't like his brother was interested in men; if it had been him, maybe he'd have some perverted— What the fuck was he thinking!? Sasuke stopped his racing thoughts at the very instant, and decided it was safer to pretend to be nonchalant.
"What are you doing here?" He demanded haughtily.
Itachi had recovered from his shock in a millisecond, and was merely looking at him with an inscrutable expression, his dark eyes roving over Sasuke's body slowly, almost deliberately, as if he was riveted at the sight of it. Yes, Sasuke needed to be admitted into a mental institute. To hold such prurient thoughts of his blood brother! No, he had to snuff them out.
"You've slimmed down. And built some muscles." Itachi finally remarked.
Sasuke's jaws dropped. So that's just what Itachi was thinking of. Being as observant as ever. And totally disregarding his question as usual.
"Of course! You've probably not seen me like that since I was eight! And what are you doing here anyway?" He questioned once again in a huff.
"I'm just wondering, when is your trip to Kusatsu?"
Sasuke snorted, "So you're actually concerned?" His heart leapt even as his face remained poised in an ever-confident smirk.
"I just need to know if you have to apply for leave from work."
"It's from Saturday to Sunday. So there's no need to. Didn't you hear Temari over the dinner?" Sasuke replied grumpily.
"I wasn't paying attention. Don't go to the onsen." Came Itachi's clipped words.
"Why? It's known for its onsens!" Sasuke exclaimed.
"Look here, Gaara is going to take advantage of your— you know," Itachi nodded at Sasuke's half-covered body, and continued, "Gaara is too touchy. Even if he may not be a bad person, I don't quite trust him."
Sasuke's face deepened in hue and he turned his back on Itachi.
"I need to get dressed now. I'm cold."
"Promise me."
"Promise you what?"
"That you won't go to the onsen."
"I'm not a seven year-old kid. I am capable of taking care of myself."
"I'm not saying that you're incapable—"
"You're! You've always looked down on me! Like just now, when Temari compared us, you've already shown your airs! So what if you're more capable than me? You're also older! I tell you, when I'm your age, not only will I be on par with you; I swear I'll be better! In everything! Now get out of my room!" Sasuke roared, spinning sharply on his heel as he jabbed a wild finger towards the door.
Itachi stood up from the sofa, not looking at Sasuke in the eye as he proceeded to leave the room. He paused as his fingers touched the bronze knob.
"I did not mean it that way. I've never thought of anything like that before. I just want you safe, otouto."
A single drip of droplet onto the floor reached Itachi's ears, and he left the room quietly, shutting the door softly. Sasuke tore his towel off himself angrily, flinging it to the ground. He couldn't believe that he had let his emotions get the better of himself again, and let their fragile relationship turn for the worse.
Sasuke strolled casually towards the waiting trio, his hands deep in his jean pockets. Temari's smile flickered towards a frown for just an instant, before returning full blast as she clapped her hands together.
"I knew you'd bring your bodyguards, so I've arranged an extra room at the ryokan."
"What!? Just one room? I don't want to sleep with Naruto!" Neji butted in before Sasuke could speak.
"Hey why not?" Naruto whined, his lower lip jutting out in an almost unsightly fashion.
"You snore." Neji pointed out simply.
"I'm sleeping with Neji." Sasuke quickly spoke up.
"No. Neji will be sleeping with Naruto. You owe me, remember?" Temari drawled.
"Fine." Sasuke spat. Ignoring them, he walked forward, with Naruto and Neji hurrying behind.
When they reached their respective rooms, the host brought green tea and sweets, greeting them sweetly as the two nodded mutely at her. Once she left, Sasuke took a long sip from the steaming cup, staring out at the garden.
"Do you want to go to the onsen?" Gaara's low murmur rumbled across the table.
Sasuke was about to decline his offer when he remembered his brother's words.
"Hn." He swirled his cup and took another sip.
"I take that as a yes." Gaara's voice broke in again, with a twinge of hope.
Sasuke didn't reply. Gaara finished his tea and stood up, looking down expectantly.
"Now?" Sasuke asked peevishly.
Gaara merely stared down at him with his heavily lined jade green orbs, large and unblinking. Sasuke, vaguely reminded of a waiting owl for its prey, grudgingly pulled himself up.
He emerged from the locker, the tiny towel firmly tied around his waist. Gaara still stared at him with his owlish eyes, which only seemed to grow rounder in anticipation. Naruto bounced in with Neji, grinning as he wrapped a tanned arm around the stiff Hyuuga.
"Hey! We're going to the onsen as well! Let's go together!"
Sasuke shot a half grateful look at Naruto as the foursome strolled to the steaming hot spring. Whilst they were washing up near the onsen, Shikamaru popped up. Sasuke arched a brow at him.
"Are you going to join us? What about Temari?"
"No I just want to speak to Naruto for a moment, if you guys don't mind." Shikamaru said in a slight wince, before tugging Naruto away. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the pair, convinced Temari was up to no good again. And that hen-pecked Shikamaru certainly made a lousy friend. Naruto looked panicked for a moment, as he kept darting glances at the waiting trio. Soon his look of panic gave way to a deep tomato flush, as Shikamaru patted him hard on the back. Naruto returned to them, his smile weak and jittery as Shikamaru gave them an indolent wave.
Sasuke immediately pounced on him. "What did Shikamaru say?"
"N-nothing! He just told me to er- take care because I faint easily in onsens." Naruto lied feebly.
Sasuke pinned him with a basilisk glare before turning towards the thick steamy fog rising from the waters. Gaara had already shrugged off his towel and was baring his butt as he slipped easily into the onsen. He swivelled quickly to stare once gain, expectantly at Sasuke. Sasuke rolled his eyes at him and turned his back on the waiting figure, and entered the hot spring once he removed the towel. Meanwhile, Naruto was busy persuading Neji to enter first.
"You idiots, just enter together." Sasuke admonished, earning a half-guilty look from Naruto and a pinched face from Neji.
Once they were comfortably settled in the onsen, Sasuke noticed something was off. Naruto wasn't paying him any heed. If anything, he seemed to be flirting with Neji! So that was Temari's plot. Sasuke smirked at a flustered Neji before turning his attention on a certain person sneaking up on him.
"Now what are you doing?" Sasuke asked snottily.
"It'd be a waste to share an onsen experience with you without doing anything. Besides, you're totally bare, and I'm just an inch away from you… don't you feel it too?" Gaara purred, tracing a finger down Sasuke's abs. Sasuke caught his wrist.
"You really don't give up do you?" He asked, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.
"How can I resist when a God is sitting butt-naked next to me?" Gaara smirked licentiously as his finger twirled circles around Sasuke's tightening abs.
Sasuke took a deep breath, torn between letting himself go, and the deeper recesses of his mind, a deep familiar lull of a voice warning him not to do anything foolish. But Naruto and Neji are around, so he wouldn't be in any trouble… or so he reasoned till he snuck a peek at the duo.
His mouth flapped open like an inarticulate fish. Naruto and Gaara must have been best friends in their previous lives. Kami-sama, did he just hear a moan issuing from Neji's prim mouth? He must be dreaming. A hand resting at his lower back told him he was in harsh reality. And he had to deal with it, fast. He pushed Gaara to the side of the onsen, his palm pressing at Gaara's chest.
"You're not going to dominate me, bastard." He whispered like a viper about to strike its final blow against Gaara's reddened ear, and nipped the tip of it hard.
Gaara welcomed his fight, his smile widening laviciously as his wayward hand slithered down Sasuke's bottom. The two wrestled a tongue battle, before roaming down to their necks and chests, bruising their bodies with multiple hickeys as they attacked each other with the vigour of young lusty men.
Gaara slid his hand down to Sasuke's lower regions as he nibbled along the column of Sasuke's throat, eliciting an almost strangled gasp from Sasuke. Sasuke shoved Gaara off roughly, panting as his hands fumbled to grip the slippery rocks.
"What's wrong?" came Gaara's ragged, hoarse voice.
"I… I feel faint. I'm leaving the onsen."
"Alright… I'll accompany you."
"No! You stay here!" Sasuke ordered, his chest heaving heavily as he hastily lunged up from the hot spring and wrapped the damp towel around his waist. He sprinted towards their room and shut himself in, rushing to change into his yukata. Once he was properly clad, he sank down on the tatami mat, clutching his hand to his chest as he tried to steady his palpitating heartbeat.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. He wasn't supposed to be thinking of Itachi when he responded to Gaara's touches! It was wrong, it was deviant, it was demented—it wasn't human. He wasn't human to think of his own brother at that instant. To think of Itachi, and to feel the hot blood gushing towards his throbbing core whilst thinking of how it would have been if it was Itachi, was sick.
He should be throwing up just thinking of it. But no, he was unbearably hard, and hot, all over. What would happen if Itachi found out? No, no one must ever. He must curb it. A sharp knock at the door startled him out of his racing dark thoughts.
"Don't come in." He said in a pained voice. He hadn't come to terms with himself yet; he couldn't bear to let anyone see him so distraught.
"I'm sorry I was too forward." Gaara said in a hushed tone.
"No, it's not you. Just go away now. I'll join you guys later for dinner." Sasuke murmured, hugging his knee as he rocked to and fro on the mat, still trembling from his horrific realisation of his corrupted nature. He was a monster, a freak.
Sasuke swallowed a raging sob that threatened to burst from his throat. When had this longing begun? He couldn't believe his own debauchery. He could feel a stinging floodgate of tears behind his eyes, pricking at them like thousands of needles.
His misty gaze landed on the two tea cups sitting on the table top. Cups could be broken. Broken cups provide jagged edges. Perfect. Perfect for slitting. For hurting a debase beast. For cutting into the skin to expose the black blood flowing from within.
He crawled towards the table and grasped one of the cups, staring at the gravelly simplicity of it. A loud military rapping knocked him out of his contemplation.
"Sasuke! Come out now or I'll break the door down!" Naruto hollered from outside. Sasuke placed the cup back gently on the table. Guess it'd have to wait. For he couldn't possibly let anyone know of his impure thoughts. He must cleanse it off, completely. And he had to be alone, and calm, to do that. He trudged towards the door and slid it open, glaring at everyone in front of him.
"Why are you shouting? I'm just feeling a little unwell. Can't you give a sick man some peace?" He said calmly, albeit a little irritably.
"Oh, sorry. Look this redhead here is worried that you hate him or something. So he dragged us all down here." Naruto thrust a thumb at Gaara.
"I'm fine. I don't hate anyone. Just carry on with your activities. I'll rest for a while before joining you all for dinner. Just give me a ring." Sasuke muttered before shutting the door. Once the group lingering outside dispersed, his firm legs collapsed and he buried his face deep into his palms.