Impossible to Love You
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the brilliant Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I am not Masashi Kishimoto-sama, unfortunately.
Warnings: Incest, violence (?).
Pairings: ItaSasu, slight one-sided KarinSasu.
A/N: Alright, it's December, and I've finally come up with a new chapter. Hope you guys like it. I have new reviewers! Thank you! This chapter has such a lot of reference to animals, and seems to involve more violence too. What can I say, my school term was a nightmare. So I felt like smashing people. I can't, but my characters can. black-ice-alchemist thanks for understanding, omo you're busier than me! Wow! My school has ended (for now), but my dance trainings have only increased, sigh. I haven't even met up with my friends yet! Look I'm so nice, I updated! XP And thanks for think I have an 'art of words', haha I love it! Faye Violette, Gaara's one-sided love for Sasuke was totally meant to be serious, and yet smacking of humour, I'm so glad you noticed! XD I did it for I think the chapters following would be rather dark, and yet I want this story to be taken seriously… Gosh this story is spanning out to be a long one. I hadn't expected it. It's not even at the freaking climax yet! Ah but things would take a turn from this chapter onwards. UchihaJIS, Itachi's girlfriend is Sasuke, haha. And when are Itahci's feelings going to be clear? Read on to find out! jhisk, Sasuke reacted that way because he had just found out his feelings, whereas in Itachi's case he had known about his own feelings a lot longer, so he would have found some ways to sort of cope with it. Hope you understand my explanation! Oh and I do feel sorry for Gaara too! I wanted to make him a baddie, but he's too cute to be one! Poor Gaara suffers in this story!
Sasuke sat woodenly on the stool, fiddling with his empty glass as he waited impatiently for the next. He should have just ordered shots, he thought bitterly, feeling a monstrous urge to knock himself unconscious just so he wouldn't to think. His next glass finally appeared after what seemed like an eternity, and he drained it away like water. It tasted just like water to him anyway, he could taste naught but he felt a warm kindling at his chest, spreading like a hawk's wings across his chest as he finished yet another glass. A smooth leg suddenly slid up the leg of his trousers in a deliberate glide, lingering at his inner thigh as a waft of spicy perfume drifted towards his nose.
"Hi lonely, care to buy me a drink?" came a low female voice dripped in syrup.
"I'm gay so just get out of my way." He growled, gripping his glass tight, not even turning to look at the woman once. A hand clamped over his shoulder just after the intruding leg vanished with a deep suck of a feminine breath. He whipped around, ready to snap.
"Hey I just heard your little confession. Poor dude, just discovered you're one? Come on, it's not so bad once you get used to it, pretty boy." A heavily muscled man cooed.
"Don't touch me." Sasuke snarled. He'd had enough of strangers touching him.
"What's wrong man? Never had a grown man before?" The man guffawed as he slung a heavy shoulder over Sasuke. That was it. Sasuke snapped. A flare burst within his body, and seemed to overtake his being as he instinctively shot up and pounded the man to the ground, ignoring the cries and screams of the crowd as he, with a sinister calm, placed his foot over the man's chest and twisted it, smiling wryly at the grimace on the man's pock-marked face. He saw Orochimaru in the man, he saw himself in the man, and he desperately wanted to kick the man's face.
"I told you not to touch me. Be glad you're not dead by now." He sneered, and sauntered off the opening the stunned crowd gave towards the exit.
A palm thumped his shoulder hard, and he instantly shot his death glare towards the person.
"Hey Sasuke! Long time no see! I see you're just as bad-tempered as usual." A silver haired guy scoffed. Beside him stood a tall spiky haired guy and a bespectacled girl with long crimson tresses.
"Suigetsu, Juugo, Karin." Sasuke acknowledged them icily.
"Sasuke-kun! Long time no see! You're gotten hotter!" Karin gushed, removing her glasses seductively, tucking it into her pocket surreptitiously.
"Hn." Came his usual grunt as he attempted to elbow past them. However, Suigetsu pressed his palm against his chest in a bid to stop him.
"What's the meaning of this?" He demanded.
"Yeah! You bastard take your filthy hands of him!" Karin echoed.
"I was just wondering if you'd like to return to our usual meetings. You seem to have some steam waiting to be let off. Our outlet would be just perfect, wouldn't it?" Suigetsu smirked.
"Oh yes, it's not the same after you left! We need you back! You're our star!" Karin grabbed his wrist, placing her palm onto his as she spoke.
"It's true. Hawk's operations have kind of gone off track. I mean, it ought to have been just an outlet for people to vent their anger, but they—" Karin clamped her hands over Juugo's mouth instantly as she smiled brilliantly at Sasuke.
"So how about returning?" Karin pressed.
"I might drop by this Saturday." Sasuke shrugged, and left for the exit.
Once he reached the exit, his cool composure slipped off like a mask and he crumpled into a heap on the floor, reeling from the sudden lightness in his head. The alcohol had finally kicked in, but he didn't know whether to be glad or anxious. He couldn't sleep out in the open now that he had made trouble in the club. He had to reach home soon. He dragged himself with much difficulty and waved down a cab before collapsing in it.
He finally reached home, staggering out the cab as he over tipped the driver madly and dialled a number that seemed to blur out of focus ever so often.
"Sasuke-kun?" an old creaky voice croaked.
"Hn. Get me in now, and don't wake my parents." Sasuke slurred as he swayed.
"Yes I'm coming." The line went dead instantly, and Sasuke leant his forehead against the cool stone wall as he waited for the gate to open. When it finally did, he was nearly dozing off. A dry wrinkled hand clasped his arm and attempted to pull him in. He opened his bleary eyes and muttered, "Why… you so… slow? Don't… help… me…"
He shoved his butler aside and stumbled up the gardens towards his house, cursing the distance as he made a beeline to the back door to steal in soundlessly. He finally made it to the door and to the marble staircase, gripping the ledge tight as he dragged his lead-like torso up the stairs, endless in his drunken haze. A firm and strong arm wrapped itself around his waist and he leant instinctively towards the steel-like strength enveloped in warmth. A familiar low voice sounded close his ear, sending sweet tremors down his spine as he felt the hot breath against his ear.
"Why've you been drinking again, otouto?"
"Iii…Itachi…" He murmured and snuggled deeper into the warm broad frame.
"You're completely wasted I see." Itachi mumbled almost to himself as he helped Sasuke up the stairs. When he reached his own doorway however, he paused, staring at the long black shadow in the cast light.
"Being such a kind brother eh, Itachi? How endearing." Madara smirked. Sasuke tilted his head up from his brother's chest and blinked at Madara.
"Why… you here?" He demanded drowsily.
"Business talk, son." Madara smiled brightly at Sasuke, who accepted his reply and promptly cuddled back into Itachi's chest.
"He really finds your chest comfortable. Like a pillow I surmise. I suppose you find him like a bolster? Really wonderful to hug to sleep right?" Madara waggled his brows madly.
"I'm bringing him to his room." Itachi said shortly and continued past his room along the dark corridor winding down towards Sasuke's room. When he reached Sasuke's room, he quickly threw Sasuke onto the bed and spun on his heel. But Sasuke was quicker. His hand gripped onto Itachi like a vice. Itachi sighed and knelt on the floor to pry away the iron fingers. Instead, he got pulled towards the bed.
"Don't… go… You… I… don't know what's happening… I'm… scared." Sasuke murmured almost in a trance, his eyes shut tight.
Itachi smoothed Sasuke's hair in a gentle carress, wondering what had happened that made his little brother so drunk. He abruptly sat up straight as an idea struck him like a lightning bolt. Could it be… Gaara? What the hell did that bastard do to his precious brother? Itachi's hand clenched into a trembling fist as chimerical images wove themselves into life inside his head. He brushed the wayward strands of hair off Sasuke's face and tucked him to bed, covering him tenderly with the comforter, before leaving the room in haste. After all, he had business to settle. Interrogating Sasuke would have to wait.
Sasuke woke up in the morning, groaning as he destroyed yet another alarm clock. He rubbed his weary eyes and blinked slowly as he absorbed his surroundings. He was amazed that he actually made it home. But how the hell did he make it back to his room? He remembered flashes of misty images, which he couldn't seem to piece together. He tried to focus his jumbled thoughts, but stopped instantly when his head began to throb. He hurried towards the bathroom to refresh himself.
As he turned on the showerhead, the scattered images seemed to coalesce and turn vivid. It was Itachi. Itachi who helped him. Did he reveal anything to his brother? Kami-sama, he hoped not. Sasuke yelped as the water scalded him; he had unconsciously swung the knob towards the red button. He swiftly turned to back to the icy water he enjoyed, and stood under the piercing cold shower thinking about his recent revelation about himself.
Sasuke shook his head violently, and tried to calm his reacting body down, to no avail. He stroked himself feverishly, almost sobbing when all he could think was of his own brother. A knock on the door interrupted him, and he gasped out a raspy "What?" as he continued indulging himself with the exquisite torment.
"I need to talk to you. Hurry up." A strikingly familiar voice sounded through the door, low and sensual, almost making him cry out as he finally released, unfortunately with the help from the disembodied voice of his brother. He sank to the floor, loathing himself with the core of his very soul. He threw a fist onto the wall, staring at it blankly when it bled red.
"Otouto! Are you alright? I heard a really loud noise." Itachi spoke from behind the door, his voice laced with a tinge of concern.
"Don't be so nice to me…" Sasuke muttered lowly, watching the ruby red blood swirling together with the crystal clear water into the gutter.
"What did you say?"
"I'll be out in a moment." Sasuke finally replied.
He emerged from the shower and checked his bruised knuckles. He'd just have to hide them with a towel. He dried himself and dressed monotonously, before draping the towel over his right hand carefully and stepped out of the bathroom. He almost stumbled when his face nearly hit the chest of his brother. He took a few steps back, frowning deeply.
"What do you want?" He asked sullenly, staring adamantly at the floor.
"What did Gaara do to you? You've made yourself so drunk it's disgraceful. Luckily for you our parents weren't awake."
"Nothing I didn't want. I've to get ready for work now." Sasuke replied curtly, his long fringe of lashes still lowered.
Itachi stepped aside in silence, and Sasuke instantly took the chance to dart towards his walk-in wardrobe, but was held down by a vice-like grip on his wrist that clamped down faster than a speeding bullet.
"What are you trying to cover?"
"What do you mean?" Sasuke faked innocence, hoping his brother would not hear his palpitating heart that resembled thunder to his ears.
"Show me your hand." Came Itachi's glacial voice.
Sasuke stuck his hand out, palm facing heavenwards as if preparing himself for a hit.
"Not this hand."
"Look, whatever I do outside is none of your business alright?" Sasuke snapped, and attempted to shrug out of his brother's hand which held on firmly in place.
"I know you're still angry with me, but you have to understand, I'm your brother, and everything I do is only for your good. Now let me see your hand." Itachi insisted, grabbing hold of Sasuke's other arm. Sasuke's fingers clenched on tight to the towel, refusing to budge at Itachi's tug.
"Foolish otouto, you wouldn't want to go on at this all day." Itachi chided.
Sasuke released the towel reluctantly, and Itachi immediately ran his fingers over his bruised knuckles, his touch soft like a butterfly's wings. Sasuke's heart beat raced even faster, and he despised himself for get all flustered over a single touch from his brother.
"Did you hit the wall just now?" Itachi guessed correctly.
"No. This is from yesterday. I just had a fight with a scoundrel. I merely dropped the showerhead onto the ground just now. Stop imagining things." Sasuke muttered grouchily as he pulled away from the strong, warm hand belonging to his brother.
"Your wound looks fresh to me, and I don't remember seeing it yesterday." Itachi pointed out.
"You probably didn't notice." Sasuke said nonchalantly, turning his back towards Itachi.
"If you so insist. I'll drive you to school later." Itachi finally dropped the matter. Sasuke thought of declining, but realised he had no reason to refuse the offer. He could always feign sleep in the car later. Yes, he would do exactly just that, he decided.
His day at school was unexpectedly uneventful, and he did not experience any untimely run-ins with the two people he least wanted to see. He couldn't face Gaara; he didn't know what to say to him. He had made up his mind. He would go to Hawk this very Saturday. Suigetsu was right. He needed an outlet to vent his frustrations, and Hawk was just the very place.
The rest of the week dragged on like months for Sasuke, though he barely saw his brother as Itachi was too busy setting up his new venture with Madara. When Saturday finally dawned, he burst forth from his home to Hawk.
As he exited from the cab, he once again felt a pair of eyes on him. He was being trailed yet again. The uneasy feeling of being watched scratched like a long nail down the back of his neck down to his spine, yet he still couldn't seem to trace the stalker. And he had no idea what exactly was the stalker's motive for following him for weeks without any action. Even if it had been Orochimaru, the slimy snake would have manifested himself by now.
But the person showed no desire to be seen, as of yet. The unknown is always feared by all, and Sasuke was no exception. Fantastic images of horror had twisted their way towards his mind, and he couldn't shake them away. Everyday it was either a nightmare or an even more disturbing dream involving Itachi. His eye bags swelled by the day, and he desperately needed to forget all his troubles, even for a moment.
He slipped into a small doorway like a shadow, and was slightly stunned at the sight that greeted him. People was yelling and cheering, some jeering as two men in a large cage struggled against each other.
He had nearly forgotten the rowdy roars from a cheering crowd. It always gave him a headache. But he soothed himself from the thought that once he entered the cage, he would hear nothing anyway. He would be too focused on the match, his entire soul concentrating only on his opponent, and his will to win. Nothing else would reach him; distract him.
He narrowed his eyes at the uproarious crowd. There seemed to be something different about them. Most of them were taking injections, and their eyes fluttered open and shut as they scratched themselves continually. Sasuke stomped towards the cage and grabbed Suigetsu, twisting him violently.
"What did you give them?" He asked hotly.
"Chiva! You know, 'H'. Aren't they all high?" Suigetsu grinned broadly.
"Heroin! Why'd you do that for? I've already told you, the setting up of Hawk is just for people to vent their frustrations! There'll be no illicit activities!"
"Hello, am I hearing things wrongly? This is an underground fight club. It is illegal." Suigetsu shrugged matter-of-factly.
"The consequences won't be as dire if we're caught. You've to stop selling heroin now."
"Hey, look here, you can't just saunter in and expect to call the shots again. You left us, remember? This place is to be free for all, and we're not wealthy bastards like you, what do you expect we can do to continue Hawk? There's no way I can stop now. The crowd will be deterred from coming." Suigetsu huffed, folding his arms together as if to create a wall.
"We can always find new people. I'm back. I'll be pooling all my resources here again."
"This is just a social activity, like fighting. Come on, look at them. They're enjoying themselves. Don't spoil the fun."
"I agree with Sasuke. This has to stop." Juugo spoke from behind. The two of them turned to look at him in astonishment, not noticing his presence at all until then. At that moment, a scarlet gust of wind flew towards their direction, almost bowling Sasuke over as the red object pounced onto him.
"Sasuke-kun! You really came! Welcome! What're you guys talking about?" Karin prattled.
"I want to stop this heroin business." Sasuke answered stonily.
"Oh yes! I've been persuading that bastard to but he just won't listen." Karin thrust an accusing finger at Suigetsu, whose mouth gaped wide open as he stared in disbelief at her.
Juugo spoke again, his voice uncertain. "But Karin, that wasn't what—"
"Juugo, go get the next pair of fighters ready now." Karin said sternly. Juugo nodded dumbly and lumbered away.
"Now it's three against one, what have you got to say?" Sasuke said smugly, folding his arms.
"Fine. But the no-heroin rule will only begin from tomorrow." Suigetsu sulked.
"Yes now that it's agreed, will Sasuke go to the ring as a celebration for his return?" Karin clapped her hands together, almost rubbing them in her exaltation.
"That's what I came for." Sasuke said impassively, and stepped forth.
"Hold on. I'll make an announcement." Karin said, and stepped into the cage with flourish. She held a loud speaker to her lips as she motioned Juugo to pull the two fighters away from each other.
"Hello everyone! We have a very special guest today! He's the founder of our darling Hawk, and he will be joining the fight right now! It will be our very rare two-on-one fight, so don't blink! Some of you might remember him, he used to fight here regularly, but as he was busy recently, he took a short break. But he's never forgotten us! Let's welcome Uchiha Sasuke!"
Sasuke strolled in casually, his hands dug deep in his pockets. The crowd roared in approval, their applause exploding like a rain of fireworks. He had already removed his top, for he didn't want to be found out by his family that he had returned to Hawk again. Shirts are usually dirtied and shredded in the fights, so usually no sensible man would wear them.
Wolf whistles twirled down to his ears and he cringed slightly. Not again. Soon the fight club would be populated by his fan girls. They were the most annoying flies he had even seen. He held back a sigh, and began.
The two men stared at him menacingly, as if irritated at him for disturbing their fight. He guessed they were, and all the better. His lip curled into a haughty smirk, and he waved them over lazily.
"I'll finish the two of you in a minute." Sasuke taunted.
"You bastard!" One of them spat as he sped over to Sasuke and aimed a punch at him, which Sasuke caught easily and twisted his arm before giving his back a powerful kick. The man fell to the ground with a loud cry and his partner instantly backed him up with a flying kick which Sasuke instinctively blocked.
However, the man was relatively stong, and Sasuke stumbled a few steps back from the force, which gave him a chance to slam Sasuke against the cage. A sharp shot of pain racked his back; sparks of sick pleasure erupted from within his body.
Yes, he needed the pain; yes, he needed to hit.
He needed to repent from his sin; he needed to release his pent-up emotions.
He swung the man around, this time pinning him to the cage and punched him squarely on the jaw. However he darted away fast as he felt a familiar rush of wind towards his back. The guy's partner aimed a punch at his skull but had hit his own partner in his haste. Sasuke smirked at them before pouncing. This promised to be a smashing night.