Author Note: Thank you for the great response so far! The cat's out of the bag now, but there's still lots of story to go.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

Chapter 14 – Still Breathing

I don't sleep well that night after learning Edward's story. All I can think about is the image he described of his wife lying dead on their bed in a pool of blood, mixed with the terror she must've felt before she died.

I'm still incredibly curious as to why I couldn't find the story when I Googled her name a couple weeks ago. Sitting down at my computer, this time I type "Cullen Chicago murder" into the search bar, stunned when numerous articles come up.

I click on the first article from the Chicago Tribune, which is about this week's verdict. In just the first paragraph, I learn why my earlier attempt failed — "Bree" was apparently a nickname for Brianna! Of course, I think, slapping my forehead. Emmett had said something about naming their unborn child "Brian" after her.

Reading further, I learn that the man who'd gone to the ATM pleaded guilty to burglary and other related charges, agreeing to testify against his cousin in exchange for a lesser sentence.

Unable to stop at the one article, I find some of the original stories from last July, pouring over them for all of the small details that Edward left out — like the fact that the man who killed her was only 19 years old, or that Bree had been found with her pajama top pushed up to expose her breasts. It's no wonder sexual assault was suspected.

Several of the articles include one of a handful of photos of Bree that the family must've released to the media. I'm not surprised to see that she was beautiful — light brown hair and brown eyes. In one photo, it appears that she was experimenting with hair color, with blue, pink and purple streaks running throughout. I don't think I could ever pull off anything like that, but it looked great on her.

So many things make more sense to me now, more than just Edward's reaction to his sister-in-law's pregnancy. He's always seemed a little too cautious — at least for a small town like Forks — with home security, from locking the door while he's working in the yard, to asking me to shovel his walk to make his house looked lived-in while he was away.

Even going way back to the first time I mentioned Edward's name to my dad… Dad thought his name sounded familiar. Could he really have heard about a murder that happened nearly 2,000 miles away? The police did spend a few days looking for Bree's car. Perhaps there was an APB out on the car and that's what Dad saw?

I almost want to slap some sense into Edward for blaming himself. He did nothing wrong in suggesting that his wife see a doctor for her extreme morning sickness. What if it had been a normal day, with Bree at work and Edward home? What then? Would Edward be dead? And poor Masen left alone for hours until Bree came home from work and discovered her husband's body?

I don't even want to think about that. Despite our ups and downs, I'm happy to have met Edward, happy to call him a friend. I think he needs all the friends he can get right now to help him heal.

Which reminds me… would he be upset if I told my girls? Picking up my phone, I send him a quick text to ask if it's OK. My phone dings with a new text less than a minute later.

It's fine. I'm not hiding it.

I breathe a sigh of relief at his response. I don't want to feel like I'm keeping something big from my best friends, but also I think knowing the full story will allow us all to be more sensitive with regards to certain issues. It can only help us to be more supportive of Edward and Masen.

Instead of our usual dinner at the Forks Diner the following Thursday, I message the girls about getting takeout from Pacific Pizza and eating at my house. I'm kind of afraid to tell Edward's story in a public place, afraid that others will overhear. He may no longer be hiding it, but I doubt he wants the Forks gossip machine to know.

When Angela arrives with dinner, I set the pizza box on the table, then separate the large Caesar salad into three bowls while she cuts the cheese garlic bread into pieces. Alice shows up just as I've got everything on the table.

"OK, spill," Alice begins, not wasting any time. "There's a reason you called us here instead of the diner."

"There is," I admit with a sigh. "I didn't want any big ears to overhear and start gossiping."

"Did you and Edward do the horizontal mambo again?" she asks, her eyes lighting up.

"No! Nothing like that. He told me about his trip to Chicago."

"Yeah?" Alice asks, swallowing quickly. "Was it something related to his late wife?"

"It was." I pause dramatically, just to make them nuts. "He went for her killer's trial."

"Bree was murdered?" Angela gasps.

"Yeah," I nod. "Home invasion gone wrong, I suppose you could say. The burglars hadn't anticipated anyone being home during the day."

"I thought you said that Edward stayed home with Masen and Bree worked?" she asks.

"He did, but that day, he had a meeting with his publishers and Bree wasn't feeling well… They'd just found out she was pregnant again."

"Oh!" she exclaims. "Oh God, no wonder he got upset at the bar. I had no idea!"

"I didn't either until he told me last Friday."

"What a piece of shit to murder a pregnant woman!" Alice cries. "Even if she wasn't obviously pregnant, I bet she told him while she was begging for her life. Please tell me the bastard is going away for a long time."

"The jury found him guilty of murder, but he hasn't been sentenced yet," I explain. "If you want to know more, you can Google the story. Her name was Brianna; that's why I couldn't find anything earlier. There are a ton of articles online from the Chicago newspapers and TV channels."

"So he killed her to keep from getting caught after she called the police?" Angela asks.

"Possibly. He denied everything, so there's no confession," I explain. "Just a lot of circumstantial evidence, including the testimony of his cousin, who'd broken into the house with him. Alice, I think that's why Jasper seemed so stressed. Edward said that the jury deliberated for two days before coming to a decision. They might not have been able to get him on the murder charge with the gun missing."

"Well, thank God they did!" she exclaims.

"I just want to give Edward a big hug," Angela says. "That poor man. I can't imagine what he's gone through."

"I don't think we want to imagine it," Alice adds, shaking her head. "Can we say something the next time we see him?"

I nod. "He said I could tell you two, but I doubt he wants all of Forks knowing his business."

"You know, we wondered why Edward would move here from Chicago," Angela muses. "I guess now we know why."

"Yeah, far too many bad memories for him there," I reply sadly. "He had a rough time going back for the trial. I hope that her killer being found guilty is the start of Edward being able to heal and move forward."

"And maybe… start to see you as a potential mate?" Alice suggests.

"I think Edward is far from being ready to start a new relationship, or even take any step towards one. Can't a man and a woman just be friends?" I ask. There's no denying that I'd like more with Edward — one day — but I know I can't hold my breath. He may not ever want more with me; from what I know of Bree, she and I had very little in common.

"Sure they can," Angela agrees. "Your history could make that a bit more difficult, but if you're both willing, I think it's possible."

And I plan to start by inviting him to dinner this weekend.

After Edward accepts my invitation for dinner — sweetened with the promise to make his favorite, lasagna — I suggest that if he comes over early, I can show him how to make it himself.

"Hi, Bella," he greets me in a whisper, a sleeping Masen over his shoulder. "I decided we could get more done if I came over during his afternoon nap."

"Great idea!" I smile, leading him into the living room. We get Masen set up on the couch before heading into the kitchen.

"Do you know how to brown meat?" I ask as I fill up a large saucepan with water.

"Maybe?" he shrugs. "I've watched Bree do it."

Laughing, I put the water on to boil, then find my favorite non-stick frying pan for Edward. I start working on the sauce, periodically checking on his progress with the ground beef.

Once everything is ready, I show him how to add the layers to a baking dish, then pop it in the oven and set the timer.

"Easy, right? You could do it on your own?"

"I think so," he nods. "It looked surprisingly easy."

"It is," I promise him. "Remember that I grew up mostly without a mom. I was cooking dinner for my dad and myself from a pretty young age; I could make lasagna as a kid."

Edward frowns. "I don't want that for Masen," he says quietly. "To have to grow up too soon, I mean."

"Well, your situation is different, since you work from home. My dad was a cop and he had set hours for his shift, though he tried to limit them as much as possible to the times when I was in school."

"I suppose… None of this is fair to him, having to grow up without a mom. It wasn't fair to you either," he adds quickly.

"We all have to make the best of our situation."

He frowns again, leaning his backside against the counter. "Masen deserves to have two parents, but…"

"But what?" I prompt.

"The thought of dating again…" He pauses, shaking his head. "I'm not ready for that. It would feel too disloyal to Bree."

"You still love her." It's so obvious in everything he does.

Edward nods. "You know I got into a panic Friday when I had one of the morning shows on and they were saying, 'hey guys, you have less than a week to pick out a Valentine's gift for your wife.' For just a moment, I thought to myself, oh shit, I haven't bought anything for Bree."

I smile sadly.

"I think that's only the second time in the last seven months that I've forgotten my life was turned upside down."

"When was the first?" I ask — almost immediately wanting to take it back, because of course I know. "N-never mind," I quickly add.

He smiles ruefully. "Yeah. My little moment of amnesia got me in less trouble this time."

I have no idea how to react to that. At least it's progress that he seems to almost be able to joke about that horribly misguided night.

"Daaaaa!" A cry comes from the living room, saving me from needing to respond.

"Masen's awake," Edward announces unnecessarily, cocking his head toward the other room. "Come on, let's go."

The following Thursday, I meet the girls at the diner for our usual weekly dinner. Angela is smiling like the cat that ate the canary for the entire meal, but always replies with "nothing's up" when we question her.

Finally, once our server has collected our plates, Angela pulls a small bag out of her purse, opening it to reveal three professionally decorated cake pops on sticks. Each one is covered in chocolate and decorated with swirls of white and red.

"Are those from the bakery?" I ask, nodding toward them. They look like something the bakery would've been selling for the holiday this week.

"Yep," she smiles widely, setting one on a napkin in front of each of the three of us.

"Is this some kind of late Valentine's Day gift?" Alice asks, looking as perplexed as I feel. "Some kind of consolation prize for your single friends?"

"No," Angela laughs. "Just eat them and you'll see."

Giving her the evil eye, I take a large bite of my cake pop. As I chew, my eyes and my brain start to tell me that something isn't quite fitting together. It's delicious, but it tastes like one of the bakery's white cakes — I know the recipe by heart — yet, now that I can see the cake itself, it's pink, like a strawberry or maybe cherry flavor would be. The color must have come from food coloring, but why bother?

And then it hits me. Angela is due in just over four months, so she must be over 20 weeks along now… far enough to have learned the sex of the baby.

"You're having a girl!" I squeal.

"Ding ding ding!" she shouts. "Oh, Ben is so gonna have to pay up."

"Why?" I ask, at the same time Alice yells, "Oh my God!"

"We had a bet going over which one of you would figure it out first," Angela explains. "I said it would be you, because you would realize that wasn't strawberry cake."

"And that's exactly how I figured it out," I chuckle.

"Duh!" Alice exclaims. "I was just enjoying my dessert."

"As I knew you would," Angela replies with a smile.

"When did you find out? How long have you been keeping this from us?" I ask accusingly, before taking another bite of my cake pop.

"My appointment was just last Friday. I ordered these on Saturday for pick-up after school today."

"Oh my God, she's gonna be so much fun to dress up," Alice squeals. "Are you happy?"

"Honestly, I would've been happy with either, as long as it's a healthy baby."

"That's what they all say," Alice laughs. "How about Ben?"

"He's… happy," she hedges, "but I know he really wants a boy to carry on the Cheney name. He says we have to keep trying until we get one. Please let our second child be a boy."

"My mom refused to try again after having two girls," Alice says. "She said there was no way she was going through another pregnancy. After what she went through with Cynthia, I was lucky to be born."

"Well, I haven't been as miserable as what you've described about your mom, but there are still four months to go, so anything could happen. Knock on wood," she quickly adds, tapping the table.

A/N: This was one of the tougher chapters to name. I never could think of anything better than Still Breathing.

So Bella's friends know how Bree died, but she asked permission from him before gossiping. Alice is getting a bit ahead of herself, but Bella is realistic about how long it may take Edward to be ready to date again. And Angela is having a girl!

Next update on Monday.