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Stars

Chapter 19: The Nebula

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Summary: What if Harry wasn't taken in by Petunia? What if, instead, he was taken in by another wizard who moved into number four after Petunia forced her family to move to avoid taking in the freak? Neutral!Harry

Beta: Cauchy! Big thanks to her for being my beta! This means less confusing words and spelling errors and brains flying around.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own character. Including the several lines I did take from the book.

A/N: Thank you, thank you for all the reviews! I really enjoy reading them!

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Cygnus poured himself a cup of tea as he thought back to the conversation he and Snape had had many nights ago. It was mid-November, the air cool and crisp with the promise of snow. Golden-brown leaves littered Cygnus' yard, but he hardly cared. All he could think about was Snape's proposition.

"Repeat that," Cygnus had said, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

Snape leaned forward, his eyes glittering. "You heard me just fine."

"Yes, and I'm making sure I didn't mishear you," Cygnus said slowly.

"I will teach you dueling," Snape repeated, his voice soft and demanding.

Cygnus rubbed his head, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. "And why, would you be compelled to do such a thing? What's in it for you?"

Snape slowly crossed his fingers and placed them on the table in front of his teacup. His long, hooked nose took in a sigh and he spoke, "The knowledge that you have every weapon in your arsenal to protect Po-Rowan."

"It's been three years and you still call him 'Potter'?" Cygnus muttered incredulously. "What does that matter to you?"

"Because… you will have to fight," Snape said. "You will have to engage in combat sooner or later. With Black or with the Dark Lord. Wards are not going to cut it. Especially not with enemies as merciless as the Dark Lord."

"Are you a mother hen or something?" Cygnus asked, slightly amused. "Tell me the real reason."

There was a silence as Snape seemed to be a little lost for words. His next words were a soft whisper.

"Because Harry cannot lose you."

And thus, Cygnus didn't put up any further fuss about being taught magic. He let Snape drag him into Ollivander's for a wand. He let the old man size him up, measure him, and throw wands at him looking for the wand that 'chose' him. He had allowed Ollivander to marvel at find his wand at long last "fourteen and three quarter inches long, rowan wood, dragon heartstring core, unyielding" and let Snape pay for it, despite having the money for it.

Cygnus fingered the wooden box. Since being chosen by the wand, Cygnus had kept it in the box, afraid to take it out and attempt to use it. Part of it was because he was sure it was going to randomly discharge at him when he attempted. The other part was the fact that it was slightly humiliating that a grown adult—a Ward Master of all things—would still need a wand to perform magic.

He knew that his magic was violent, would be sent out of the wand in mini-eruptions that would do more damage to himself than the enemy. He had long ago dropped the issue of attempting battle magic, resigning himself that he would never gain complete control, and resolved to live quietly, without a wand or danger of the battlefield.

Then again, the Taiwanese Ministry didn't really go to battle with other magicals. With the tiny population of Taiwan and the even smaller population of magicals, they would lose any battle on account of sheer numbers. Battle magic wasn't something he had to learn simply because there was no need for it.

Then Harry dropped into his life and everything changed.

Cygnus had something to protect. He had something to ward. He had a family that consisted of a young boy, cursed with the life of fame and bound by the manipulations of madmen. Cygnus had wards, words, and his small abilities of wandless magic to fight with. But it wasn't enough. New enemies kept showing up, old ones returned, and allies were not exactly allies.

Now, out of all people, Severus Snape exploded into his life and gave him hope. Hope that he could do more advanced magic than pouring tea for guests or levitating tea trays. Battle magic that would be able to fight enemies instead of just defending.

Cygnus would be ready.

The adrenaline rush was far greater than Cygnus had first anticipated.

A flash of fire from the fireplace announced Snape's presence. Cygnus sighed and got ready for lesson one.

-0-

Harry watched as the Slytherin vs Gryffindor match progressed, not having much interest in it at all. The rain was pelting hard against his glasses, making it hard to see, and causing him to wish he hadn't even bothered. He would much prefer to be sitting by the warm fire in the common room than out here in the freezing rain with the wind howling like a banshee.

Then, suddenly the roars of the crowd and the sound of the pelting rain vanished. It was as if someone had hit a mute button. Harry blinked, trying to squint through the rain and see what was going on. Ice pooled into every vein, freezing him from the inside. Harry whipped around.

Hundreds of dementors had entered the stands. They were gliding towards the center of the field, their hoods pointed towards the crowd, sucking in the glee, excitement, and horror. Harry tried to back away, but only succeeded in edging off his seat, crashing backwards into the seats behind him and landing on top of Crabbe. Draco was yelling, his eyes wide with fear and terror, but Harry couldn't hear him.

The dementors turned towards him and Harry's head rolled back as the voices came back.

"Don't, please!"

"You should have thought of that before you tried kidnapping my son!"

Harry felt something splatter on his face, but didn't know if it was from the memory or the rain. The terrified screams of several men echoed in his ears and Harry knew no more.

-0-

Harry woke to voices around the bed, as well as a warm presence beside him.

"Dumbledore was furious. I've never seen him so mad."

"Forget him, is Harry still out cold?"

"Yeah. Pomfrey said he would be for the next couple hours."

"Tell me when he wakes up. I told a house elf to bring him food but since he's not awake yet..."

"Hold on, his eyelids fluttered. Harry? Harry? Can you hear us?"

That voice had to be Draco. Harry groaned in pain as his head throbbed and mumbled, "What… what happened? I fainted? Again?"

"Yeah. When the dementors came… you just… sort of seized up and started twitching," Nott said, worry evident in his voice. "It's a good thing you already fell back, or you might have gotten serious damage from collapsing…" His voice trembled a little and his face was pale.

"Chocolate?" Draco offered, stuffing a bar of sweet into Harry's unsteady hands. "Have more chocolate! You need to eat a lot of chocolate. Chocolate helps, remember?"

"Draco…" Harry murmured, rubbing his head. "Draco, could you shut up a minute? My head…"

"Mr. Potter! Do not attempt to get up!" the shrill voice of Pomfrey said. "You will lay back and rest. All of you, shoo! Mr. Potter needs his rest."

"But Madam Pomfrey…" Draco whined, looking at her. "Can't we have five minutes? Just five?"

"Absolutely not! This boy has suffered effects from dementors! He needs rest!"

It took much whining, much pleading, and Harry promising he would rest when they left for her to allow them to stay. She huffed off, mumbling about the five minute time limit.

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"Explain to me how this happened?"

Snape was doubled over, panting with exhaustion. His voice was soft and deadly and his eyes burning with confusion.

The roof to number four, Privet Drive was missing. It could be found in pieces on the lawn, currently warded to prevent any destruction from being seen. Which was a good thing, in Snape's opinion.

When he had originally taken up the idea to teach Cygnus Rowan offensive battle magic, he had expected it to be extremely easy. The man clearly had enough control to do wandless magic after all.

He had guess correctly in that Cygnus had never been trained in battle magic. Snape wasn't surprised. It was how Rowan had become a Ward Master so young. All of his magical tutelage had been in warding. When Cygnus had told him of his wards, he hadn't mentioned going to magical school, which meant that he had not been prepared for the foundation in dueling.

But this… this was a little too much for even Snape. Snape had seen a lot of mishaps, a lot of children who thought they could do more advanced magic then they were clearly capable, a lot of accidents and broken bones.

He had never seen a levitation charm cause the roof of a building to explode.

Cygnus stood in front of him, holding his wand. "Er… I think I broke it?"

"You think?!" Snape snapped. "I would hate to see what kind of magic you could do offensively."

"I can float things without a wand," Cygnus answered exasperatedly. "I do not understand why I need a wand for this."

"I told you. Battle magic is often volatile and dangerous to perform without a wand. A simple stunning spell would very likely stun you if cast without a wand," Snape growled, his voice dripping with irritation. "You need to learn control through a wand. Think of it as an extension."

"If you're so good with a wand, then just use your magic without. Just think of your hand being your wand," Cygnus shot back, his eyes flashing and a scowl forming from his mouth.

They both stared at each other. Snape felt the irritation bleed away into a small amount of guilt.

He understood that this was difficult for Cygnus. As far as Snape knew, Cygnus had never used a wand before and Cygnus was correct in saying that it was similar to Snape being stripped of his own wand.

"The fastest way to learn dueling, is to duel," Snape said, his voice mellowing a little. "I would be your dueling partner, if I were not afraid you accidently killing me."

Cygnus frowned, but slowly lowered his wand.

"The use of a wand, of spells, does it really beat the muggle way of doing things?" Cygnus asked. "Is magic really as useful as we think it is? As you think it is? There are limits to magic."

"As there are to muggles," Snape retorted. "Magic can, at least, do what muggles deem impossible."

"Perhaps. But they've been doing things we deem impossible too," Cygnus said, fingering the base of his wand.

"Why don't we start again with a shield charm? Rowan wood has been known to create hard-to-break shield charms," Snape said.

Cygnus sighed and lifted his wand. "Incantation?"

"Protego," Snape responded. Then he unexpectedly scowled and snarled out "Don't point your wand at me!"

Cygnus grinned. "If you insist," he said, mock-sighing.

-0-

"Dad!"

Harry let out a cry, seeing his dad waiting for him at the train station. In a flash, he had crossed the platform with his trunk, looking at his dad's warm face.

Snow was falling, but only very lightly. The ground was dusted with flakes of white, promising a white Christmas. Cygnus, like Harry, was bundled up against the chilly wind and frigid temperatures.

The winter holidays had just started, which meant that finally, finally Harry would get the answers he was looking for. He had waited several months already so he was more than ready to hear an explanation.

Grim was standing by Harry's trunk, his tail wagging. Harry had tied a Slytherin scarf around Grim to help keep him warm, which Grim had initially fought. The second his nose touched the outside air, he had finally relented, allowing Harry to wrap and tie the scarf.

"Welcome back," Cygnus said carefully. He eyed Harry over, a frown on his face. "You look well. Have the dementors been bothering you?"

"Dumbledore hasn't let them in the castle," Harry responded. "We've been safe."

"Good… Good…" Cygnus murmured, his face relaxing. "I warned him… One more mistake and I'd pull you out of Hogwarts to homeschool you."

"But… Draco! And Theo!" Harry protested, his eyes wide with shock.

"If they can't keep one student safe, then the chances of them being able to keep a body of students safe would be nigh impossible," Cygnus responded. "I have spoken to Malfoy senior about this matter."

"Why didn't you tell me you were having weekly dinners with the Malfoys?!" Harry suddenly blurted out.

Cygnus glanced around and shook his head. "This is not the place to discuss this. When we arrive home, I will answer any question you have."

The ride back home was silent and heavy. Harry was trying to sort through his mind. He had many, many questions to ask, but which should he ask first? Grim was on his lap, looking very pleased as Harry's absentminded petting soothed him.

Cygnus, on the other hand, wasn't sure how to respond to some of the questions he knew Harry was going to ask. He took his time on the road, making sure that the wards were in place before he spoke again.

"Alright. Let's move to the living room and we can chat," he said, his voice even.

"Have you really been eating dinner with Lucius Malfoy?!" Harry blurted.

Cygnus blinked. "That's the first question you ask me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I know that there must be more burning questions you wanted answered. But to answer that, yes, I have."

"Why?! I thought you said not to get too close to them!" Harry exclaimed, sinking into a couch. "I thought you said that they were dangerous and didn't know the true meaning of friendship. Why would you do such a thing as go to their home and eat dinner with them? Weekly!"

Taking a deep breath and sitting in a chair across from Harry, Cygnus looked at his son. "I thought so too. But then, Lucius proved me wrong. It seems I spoke too hastily. I am sorry, if I have caused any distrust between you and Draco."

"Are you sure it's not just an act to get you to join the Dark Lord when he returns?" Harry asked, worried for his father's safety.

"I do not know," Cygnus answered honestly. "Lucius Malfoy is sly, but I believe that he is sincere in wanting me as an ally. A friend. He knows that it is not wise to betray me so I don't believe that he would turn me over to Voldemort, should Voldemort return. Since when have you called Voldemort the Dark Lord?"

Harry flushed and stuttered out a, "W-well… I… didn't… I… just… It doesn't matter!"

Truthfully, Harry had started calling Voldemort "The Dark Lord" because Draco called him "Dark Lord". It was just something he had picked up on as he had spent so much time with Draco.

"In any case, what do you think of his son, Draco? You've continued to be his friend, haven't you?" Cygnus asked, smiling a little. "Was my intuition wrong?"

Harry hesitated but then nodded. "Yeah. Draco's a good friend to me."

"I see," Cygnus said, nodding thoughtfully. There was a silence as both males digested the information.

"When the dementors," Harry began, simply to break the awkward silence that had fallen over the room, "When they get too close… I can hear screaming. Someone was kidnapping me. And you… you said you were going to murder them. Did… Did that really happen?"

Cygnus smiled but his face was solemn as he slowly nodded. "Dementors show you your worst memory. Yes, that did happen."

"What…" Harry felt his heart beating furiously against his ribcage. "What happened?"

"When you were six," Cygnus began. "It was late July. You wanted to play in the park for several hours before dinner so I accompanied you. There were other children in the park at the time and other parents as well."

Cygnus paused but then continued. "A man struck up a conversation with me. I didn't know it at the time, but he was a wizard. And he had recognized you. Your scar used to be quite visible, before I cut bangs on you. I believe that he, along with his buddies, had recognized you by that scar and had targeted you."

"Targeted me… for what?" Harry asked softly, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"You are famous Harry," Cygnus replied quietly. "Wanted by many people, dead or alive. I shouldn't need to explain to you what they wanted you for. You should know."

Harry looked down. Cygnus watched him, but continued on his story.

"His buddies took you away from me while I was talking to the man," Cygnus said. "After the man left, I realized you weren't with the other children. So I searched for you.

"You share my magic, as you may know. Since you were young, I have always been able to feel you because you are an extension of my magic. You feel a bond towards me because of this. In our case, you acknowledge I am your parent as I acknowledge you as my son. It did not take more than ten minutes to find where they had apparated to, but they had already blindfolded you and tied you up.

"The alley was dark, and they were talking about how they were going to sell you. They obviously didn't expect to see me, because they were rather startled at my presence. They pulled out their wands, intending to hex or curse me. I don't know if they knew I was a wizard or if they even cared. I expect they felt I would be intimidated."

Harry recalled the chilling words that echoed to him on the train with the dementor. "I will destroy you." The phrase was spoken with so much hate, so much disgust that Harry had been truly frightened by his father.

"I don't think they expected a knife on my person. It's a simple switchblade knife, but I do keep it sharp," Cygnus said. "I was trained in the army. Surely I don't need to explain what happened to the three? It was messy and dirty, but I don't regret it."

"You killed them," Harry whispered, touching his cheek, recalling the splatter of something in a memory. "How could you? They were… They were people!"

Cygnus remained impassive. "I don't expect you to understand, as you are now. But I do not compromise with your safety. You are my son. I will not let three moronic wizards who were planning on selling you to get away to try again."

"You could have… I don't know… crippled them or something," Harry's voice rose, but still shocked. "Why kill them?! Why?!"

"Harry," Cygnus said, looking at his son pained. "Tell me, what purpose can you think of that would inspire them to kidnap and sell you? What reason would be worth your life that it would be acceptable to do what they did?"

"Maybe they had families that were starving. Maybe they were in deep debt," Harry argued. "It's not right to kill someone, dad. It's not!"

"As a parent, there is no good enough reason," Cygnus said his voice softening. "They wanted to sell you, Harry. As a parent, I would have done anything to keep that from happening."

"But-" Harry tried again, but Cygnus cut him off.

"Do you value your life so little?" Cygnus asked. "That your life would be worth the money that they use to pay back a debt or buy food for their family?"

Harry froze. Cygnus smiled grimly.

"There is nothing of equal worth to a life. I know this, Harry. I know that lives are precious and that each moment might be your last. You remember our conversation from earlier this year, don't you?" Cygnus asked, his eyes warm. "But I also know that not everyone sees the value of life as clearly as I do. As clearly as you do."

"My life or theirs? So it was… my fault?" Harry asked, looking into his dad's eyes.

"No, Harry. They made the choice to anger me. They knew what consequences awaited them if they were caught. You are the Boy-Who-Lived. Many people out there would have killed for your safety," Cygnus said. "It is not your fault. Do not place yourself into adult arguments."

Harry dropped his gaze and looked at his hands.

"I am not a saint, Harry. I am a parent. Your parent. There is nothing I won't do to keep you safe," Cygnus said. "That is why, since that time, I have had insisted you wear wards on you. Keeping an eye on you was reasonable, but I am only one person, and you are a very active child. It won't work. I needed another method. So I have placed wards on you to protect you. Why I insisted on replacing the wards on your bag."

"I thought… you were different," Harry said, sounding lost.

"I think… you might be too young to understand this," Cygnus said, sighing a little. "I am happy that you idolize me, Harry, but I am more than just a murderer. You, out of all people, should know that."

"Why don't I remember?" Harry asked, looking up.

"Because I asked Gornuk to suppress your memory," Cygnus replied. "You were having terrible, terrible nightmares. Every night. I did not obliviate you, if you are wondering. I do not like that spell. I simply buried it so it seemed like it was a very long time ago. You brain has simply built memories on top of the memory, but you have not forgotten it."

"Gornuk?" Harry asked.

"A goblin that works with me," Cygnus replied. "Goblins have their own brand of magic that is quite powerful. They were banned from carrying a wand long ago by the Ministry." He smiled and took a deep breath. "I suppressed your memories of the incident."

"Did you think I couldn't take it or something? Why did you make me forget?" Harry asked, angry, but not knowing exactly why.

Cygnus looked at his hands. "What would you have done, Harry? You had the blindfold on, but you could hear everything. You felt the blood and you saw me covered in it. You were terrified of me." He took a deep breath. "You wouldn't eat. You couldn't sleep. The mere thought of living under the house with me made you tremble. You were scared of me, but also couldn't live without me. You refused to be alone, without me, but you couldn't stand the thought of being with me. It lasted for two weeks before I gave into Gornuk's offer.

"I know this is hard for you to understand. But I was at the end of my rope," Cygnus said slowly. "I didn't know what to do. It was a very difficult time for me as it was for you. I wanted to help you, but I could not. You would not let me. Then… I asked you what you wanted. You told me that you wanted to forget."

"So… I asked you to?" Harry asked.

"It didn't work completely. You suffered more night terrors for a few more weeks, though you could never remember what they were about. You wouldn't brood on the killings, the blood, or the sight of me. You weren't afraid of me anymore."

These words were said with such relief, that Harry couldn't help but feel bad for his dad. He knew it must have been hell for his dad, who had loved him and raised him, to lose him when he had been protecting him. Cygnus wasn't the kind of man to cry about it in front of his own son though so Harry was sure he had never seen it.

"That's… it then? What about those three? What happened to them?" Harry asked.

"The Minister pardoned my actions when he heard about my son," Cygnus said calmly. "That was the one time I allowed them to take a picture of you for the papers. There was an outrage from the public, but I shielded you from it because I was sure you didn't want to be called out by them. People praised me as a great 'father' and 'very protective'. It was irritating, really. But media is media and it faded into newer stories over the years."

"The reason why I keep those wards on me…" Harry said faintly. "Was because of that attack. You never let me leave the house without them… Not since."

"Yes," Cygnus answered. "That's right. Since that time, I've always had wards on you to protect you. No matter what, at least you can insure your own safety."

"But-but what about you?! You could be hurt!" Harry demanded, leaping to his feet. "Going that far… To kill people… It isn't right dad."

"I think I just told you. I'm not a saint, Harry," Cygnus said gently. "I would rather be branded a murderer than to see you die. It is a choice I made at the moment and something I have to live with. It is also my choice to give you wards, knowing the dangers that may befall you."

His eyes were soft and his smile was sad. "In that kind of situation, Harry, what would you have done? I don't think you'd understand until you had a child of your own."

Harry slumped into the seat again, suddenly feeling very tired. He looked at his hands and spoke softly.

"I don't know," Harry whispered.

"You don't have to. It isn't time for you to know these things yet," Cygnus said, looking at Harry. "But Harry. Remember this: as a parent, I will do anything to keep you safe. The decision may not always be right and it may be hard, but I will do anything. Since I knew you were so high profile, I have always said such. To be honest, you being in such a far-away boarding school like Hogwarts makes me anxious. I cannot be physically there to help you, should you need anything. But I also realize that you are not a child. I raised you to be the young man you are, so I have to trust in you to do the right thing. I cannot keep you sheltered forever. However, I can watch over you with Lucius' influence as the school governor."

Harry's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. How could he have missed that Lucius Malfoy was the school governor?! Perhaps it was because Draco hadn't really spoken about his father recently. In fact… Harry didn't know much about the Malfoy family at all. For Cygnus to befriend Lucius Malfoy to make sure the school was doing its job in protecting him was ridiculously underhanded.

"Of course, there are other reasons why I befriended him," Cygnus continued. "He is quite good company and shares quite a bit of information with me."

Harry couldn't explain the sudden flash of anger that crossed his face. Perhaps it was because Cygnus was speaking so frankly—so emotionlessly—about a friend of his. Perhaps it was because Harry knew that Draco admired his father. His words came out unusually harsh.

"Can't you just be friends with someone without using them?"

Cygnus stopped dead, staring at Harry. Surprise flickered across his face so swiftly that Harry thought that he had imagined it. But then Cygnus smiled.

"All friendships start with someone using someone, Harry," he said lightly. "Whether it be company, the intention on making them friends, trust, or otherwise. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for you to desire something. It makes you human."

Harry stared at Cygnus as Grim sat up, his ears perking.

-0-

Sirius knew that his expression mirrored Harry's, but he couldn't help it.

Cygnus was wise. Sirius knew that before, but hearing such a statement from Cygnus surprised him. He had not expected Cygnus to state, so plainly, how friendships started. And he was right!

Hadn't James approached him because he was a Black who didn't share the Black's family view all those years ago? Hadn't they befriended Remus because they had known something was off about him and desired to find out what it could be? Hadn't they accepted Peter because Peter admired and praised them?

Friendships started with desires. The desire to have friends, the desire to know someone, the desire to be admired, the desire to use someone. Sirius hadn't realized it until now. So Sirius listened intently to Cygnus' teaching.

"But friendships develop into something more than that," Cygnus was saying to Harry. "They develop into trust, respect, kindness, and dependence. Lucius and I are not to that level yet and, quite honestly, I am a little reluctant to allow him that close to me."

"If you're always keeping people at a distance because you're afraid of getting them hurt, you'll never make true friends," Harry said stubbornly. Sirius saw the truth in that statement as well, but Cygnus simply nodded.

"I told you what happened to my last friends, did I not?" Cygnus asked, his voice quiet.

Harry stopped dead. Sirius looked between the two, wondering what Cygnus was speaking of. It was clear that Harry had known because Harry paled so dramatically, Sirius was almost afraid that he was going to faint right there and pitch headfirst into the coffee table.

"I hope I've answered all your questions now," Cygnus said softly. Harry looked at him blankly, taking a minute to process the words, but slowly nodded.

"Oh, what should I do about Sirius Black?" Harry asked, the thought occurring to him as he watched his dad stand. "He's after me, right?"

"So I have heard," Cygnus said, smiling a little. "Hopefully, you've been learning combat magic in school. Dueling, right?"

Harry thought back to the Dueling Club in his second year and winced.