Author Note: Thank you for the great response to this story so far! We'll pass Oh Brother in reviews with this chapter, which is kinda sad.
Once again, reviews cover the entire spectrum, from those pleased that Bella is being patient and not trying to force anything, to those who think she's being disingenuous.
Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.
Chapter 19 – Point of No Return
Six-thirty comes way too early, especially given the 3am interruption. I move on autopilot through my shower, then leave the bathroom to Edward while I dry my hair. Once we've each double and triple checked that we have all of our things packed, we head downstairs so Edward can check out while I wait with a sleepy Masen.
After a quick text to Jane, we're on the road by about 7:45, making our way through the busy downtown streets to I-5 South. Lakewood is on the south side of Tacoma, near McChord Air Force Base. The Barnes & Noble where the signing will be held is located in the Lakewood Town Center shopping mall.
The traffic on the freeway is pretty bad, though not nearly as bad as northbound into Seattle. We make it to Lakewood with plenty of time to spare, parking in the lot in front of the bookstore. Inside, we find Jane directing everyone with the set-up.
"Is there coffee?" Edward asks her.
"There's a Starbucks on the other side of the roundabout, if you go back out the way you came in," she answers, glancing at her watch. "There's time if you want to get some."
"Bella, do you want to stay here with Masen?" he asks, and I nod in agreement.
Once Edward has left, I plan to have a look around the bookstore, but Jane stops me. "So," she begins confidentially, "are you and Edward a thing?"
My eyes widen. I'd really like to lie to her, but I feel like I'll end up getting called out on it. "We're neighbors and good friends."
"Must be really good friends if you took off work to help him out with Masen."
I shrug. "I'm a teacher; we're on Spring Break this week."
"So he's available?" Jane asks, her eyes lighting up. I need to shut that train of thought down right now.
"I assume you know he was widowed last year."
"Yes, but that was last year," she dismisses. "He's a man. He must have needs."
"Well, they don't involve women right now." Trust me.
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," she replies, raising an eyebrow.
"We've talked about it," I explain with what I hope is a casual shrug. "Many women back in Forks have tried and been rebuffed." I may be exaggerating a bit, but she'll never know.
"Well, that's just a shame."
"Jane!" someone calls and she scurries off to do her job. I let out a deep breath, shaking my head. I don't think Edward would be interested in her, but she's a petite blonde. I can admit she's attractive, and she reminds me a bit of the photos I've seen of Bree.
Edward soon returns with coffees and breakfast. Once the book signing begins at 9:30, I take Masen over to the kids section for a while and read a book to him while he's cuddled on my lap.
On the drive down here, I checked the schedule for the 12-screen movie theater that's right next door. Forks doesn't have a theater, and I'd love to see something while I've got the chance, but the first showings don't begin until 10:25.
About 15 minutes prior, I head over there and purchase a ticket for Beauty and the Beast, hoping that Masen will behave. The only real kids' movie playing right now is The Boss Baby, which seems like it's aimed at an older audience than a 15-month-old. The Smurfs movie that I see advertised on posters doesn't open until Friday.
Luckily, the theater isn't crowded at all, so I won't feel bad if Masen starts acting up. The darkness seems to put him to sleep though, and I end up with his head cradled in my lap while I gently stroke his hair. Edward was right that he really is a good kid, usually happy and smiling. I know that if Edward and I were to end up together one day, Masen would become my responsibility, too. And I would be more than OK with that.
The movie is over two hours long and runs a bit past the end of the signing, so I send a quick text to Edward to let him know. When he gets a chance, he texts back and offers to go pick us up lunch nearby — there's a snack bar, but theater prices are ridiculous — and meet me out front.
After our quick lunch, we're back on the road, continuing south to Olympia. This time, the bookstore's location is a little more isolated, with little to do nearby. I take Masen next door to the Petco to see the available animals for a while, then we head back to Barnes & Noble, where I read him a couple more books. He loves the ones with pop-up pictures.
When the signing ends at 6pm, we say goodbye to Jane and stop for dinner in town, then get back on the freeway for the two-hour drive to Portland.
Once again, I wait with Masen during check-in at our hotel. I'm not really paying attention until I hear Edward's distressed voice. "You don't have what?"
"I'm sorry, Sir," the front desk clerk apologizes. "With your later check-in, it appears that someone already sold the last room with two queen beds. All we have left are king rooms. I can offer you a free upgrade to one of our two-room suites as well as free continental breakfast."
I watch with rapt attention as Edward runs his hand through his hair, then appears to let out a breath. "All right. Thank you. What time is check-out?"
"Noon."
"Could we get a late check-out? I have business nearby until noon, and it would help if we don't need to rush to check out before I have to leave."
"Of course. Will one o'clock be sufficient?"
Edward nods his agreement, reminding the clerk that we'll need a crib sent up to the room. I start gathering up Masen, walking with Edward toward the elevators once he's got our key cards.
"I imagine you heard that."
"I did," I nod.
"I'll sleep on the couch if you want," he offers as the elevator doors open.
"That… isn't necessary. A king-sized bed has plenty of room for two people."
Tonight I remain dressed while Edward gives his son his bath, partially because someone is supposed to be bringing the crib up to our suite, and partially because I don't want things to be even more awkward with Edward.
The crib shows up just in time, and I offer to put Masen down so Edward can get ready for bed. When he's finished in the bathroom, I take my turn.
I come out to find the door onto our balcony open and Edward outside, his hands braced on the railing as he stares off into the distance. He's put on a t-shirt, but I don't know if it's because he feels uncomfortable with sleeping bare-chested in the same bed with me, or if it's just because it's chilly outside. I really hope it's the latter.
Rubbing my arms against the cold, I step outside onto the balcony with him. "The city looks really pretty with all of the lights," he says softly. "I miss this part of living in a city sometimes."
"It's nice to visit, but I don't miss the noise of the city. I like how quiet it can be in Forks, and how many stars you can see on a clear night."
Edward glances over at me, then frowns. "Did you only pack one pair of pajamas?"
"Um… yeah?" That's how I got everything in one small suitcase. Does he not want to share a bed with me now?
"You must be cold out here," he says, turning back toward the room. I follow him inside, then close the balcony door behind me. I hope he was just worried about the cold.
"Is your hand cramping again tonight?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.
"Oh… yeah. I could use your magic touch." He sits on one side of the bed while I grab my bottle of lotion, then come to sit beside him.
Somehow massaging his hand feels different tonight, though I'm not doing anything differently than last night. Just knowing that we'll both be sleeping in this bed later… it feels more intimate. Or maybe I just want it to be.
"Thanks," he finally says, pulling his hand away before standing up. He picks up the remote control and channel guide, turning on the TV. "I thought we could watch the late news," he explains.
Given Edward's reaction to my legs last night, I slip under the covers, plumping the pillows as I lean against them. Edward remains on top of the covers.
Once the news is finished, he doesn't move, continuing on watching Jimmy Fallon. I'm getting pretty tired, and I imagine Edward must be too, but he doesn't seem interested in going to sleep. I can't help worrying that our sleeping arrangements have something to do with that. I'm not going to offer to go sleep on the couch though.
Only when the late night show is finished does Edward sit up with a yawn. He turns the TV off then picks up his phone, presumably to set the alarm. I flatten the pillows and get myself settled as he finally gets until the covers.
"Good night," I tell him quietly, turning onto my side away from him.
"Good night."
I'm having the most amazing dream of cuddling up by a roaring fire with… a dog?
My eyes snap open to a dark room. There's warmth against my back, something warm and heavy over my torso, and warm breath on my neck.
I don't think it's actually a dog though.
I stretch a little bit, and when my backside comes in contact with something hard, I understand: Edward has cuddled up with me during the night.
Shit! What do I do? I mean, it's not like I mind — except his arm is kinda heavy — but if the alarm goes off when we're still like this? I'm afraid he'll never talk to me again.
I lie quietly for a few minutes, rather enjoying the feel of his body behind me, but he shows no signs of wanting to move. I try stretching again, stopping abruptly when I'm certain that I feel Little Edward poking me.
Grabbing hold of his wrist with my right hand, I slowly lift his arm. "Mmmm…" he mumbles, and then flops onto his back. I hold my breath, hoping he's still asleep. When I hear his slow, even breathing, I relax, scooting a few inches closer to the edge of the bed.
Once again, the alarm seems to go off much too early. "You can shower first," Edward says sleepily.
It still seems so dark, but then as I get up and walk over to the balcony door, I realize it's raining. Great. I suppose we couldn't possibly have four nice days in a row in the Pacific Northwest.
When I come out of the bathroom, Masen is awake and running circles around the furniture out in the living room area of our suite. Edward wrangles him, carrying him back into the bedroom.
"Other people might still be sleeping, OK?" he explains. "You need to be a little quieter."
When he spots me, Masen reaches out his hands. "Maaaahhhh!"
And all of time freezes.
"Maaaahhhh!"
"You want to go to Bella?" Edward asks. Slowly, I reach out, letting Masen crawl into my arms.
"Hey buddy," I whisper.
"Ma!"
"Bella isn't your mommy, sweetheart. Can you say Bella?" Masen looks up at his father, a confused look on his sweet face. "Bell-la," Edward pronounces.
"Ben!" I can't help it, I laugh, and that seems to break the tension.
"You want to help me dry my hair, Masen?" I ask with a smile.
Shaking his head, Edward grabs his clothes, then heads into the bathroom, while I pick up the blow dryer. Turning the TV to the Cartoon Network seems to keep Masen occupied.
I don't start getting nervous until I hear the shower turn off. I really hope Masen's mistake doesn't cause Edward to pull back from me. I don't know where Masen could've gotten the idea that I'm his mother. I've certainly never said anything like that! Maybe he learned it from his three-year-old girlfriend?
Once Edward is dressed, he comes out of the bathroom then walks over to the balcony, frowning.
"You know, you and Masen can stay here during the signing if you don't want to go out in the rain," he suggests. "I'll only be like two blocks away."
"That might not be a bad idea," I agree. Why didn't I think of it?
"You guys can still come down to breakfast with me. Come on, Mase! Let's go get something to eat!"
The breakfast is a buffet, so I take a seat with Masen while Edward fills a plate. He's been kind of quiet ever since his shower, and I'm not sure he's looked me in the eye.
Once I've got my own plate of food, I aim to change that. "Are you mad at me?"
Edward's head snaps up and he stares at me for a moment. "No," he finally replies. "I know it's not your fault." He swallows thickly, then continues, "Do you think… does this mean he wants a mommy?"
I shrug. "He's probably just heard the word somewhere. He might not know what it means. Maybe he thinks all women are mommy. Or maybe he was just babbling and it didn't mean anything at all."
Edward smiles down at his son, smoothing his blond hair while the little boy picks up bits of scrambled eggs with his hand. "I hope you're right."
After breakfast, Edward comes back up to the room with us to grab his jacket, then kisses his son goodbye before leaving for the book signing. It feels almost… domestic. I turn the TV back on to cartoons, set Masen on the bed, then start packing up my things in the bathroom.
Once I've got my suitcase closed up, I look down at Edward's bag on the floor — he let me have the luggage rack. I think about packing it for him, but that just seems a little bit too domestic. He may not want me touching his dirty underwear.
Packing for him feels natural though, like something I want to do for him. And I realize, I want to do everything for him. I already knew from our weekly dinners that Edward is an amazing person, but now, after spending the last three days with him…
I'm really and truly falling for him. It's not just liking him as a friend, and it's not just physical attraction. I see the way he loves his son. I see the way he loved — loves — his late wife.
And I see the way he looks at me sometimes. He feels some sort of attraction for me, I know it. If only he can convince himself that he's ready to move on.
A/N: Oh dear. Masen called Bella "Ma" and now Bella has realized she's really falling for Edward. At least she got rid of Jane. Do you think Masen knows what he's saying? And what should Bella do now after her revelation?
My great-aunt Helen was always known as "Hun" because my dad couldn't say her name properly as a child; hence, Bella = Ben.
Next update on Thursday!