Set during the beginning of 5x15 "Try"

She shoots to kill and aims to please

You can see it in her eyes

It's not something that she likes

"Rolling Stone" – Hurts

Chapter 4 – She Shoots to Kill and Aims to Please

Aiden's dead.

Mia continued to think about her brother as she sat on the porch, absentmindedly massaging the scar behind her ear. It was older than most of the other scars that decorated her body. She remembered the pain she had felt when she received the initial wound and how it elicited quite a few screams and tears. But it could never match the pain she felt when she thought about Aiden.

Mia knew what would have happened if she hadn't shot him, ending his life before the walkers reached him. They would have torn him apart; slowly and painfully. So, the obvious conclusion was that she had to do it. She had no other choice.

But no matter how many times she told herself that, it always felt far from the truth.

Mia let out a tired sigh and squeezed her eyes shut. She opened them as she rolled her head back on her shoulders, her gaze landing on the sky above.

"I can't lose anyone else," she whispered to whatever force was controlling her fate. "If you need a life, take mine. Leave the rest of my family alone. Please."

She turned her head towards the house when she heard the door open behind her. She was relieved to see that it was her brother, Spencer.

Mia forced a weak smile and gestured to the spot on the porch next to her. Spencer lowered himself down beside her a moment later and Mia instinctively leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and hugged her even closer.

"Why do you think mom burned the note?" Spencer asked quietly as he angled his head against Mia's.

"Because she's angry," Mia answered. A slow silence passed between them.

Spencer exhaled. "You should let her take your statement on camera."

Mia scoffed. "No. I told all of you what happened and if she doesn't believe me, then that's her problem."

Her brother hesitated to reveal the bit of information on the tip of his tongue. "She sent me to get Nicholas and bring him back here so he could give his statement."

"I figured as much," Mia shrugged, unsurprised. Spencer pulled away from her and they looked at each other.

"I thought you'd be angry. I thought you hated him," Spencer told her.

"Any time spent hating him is too much time. I know what needs to be done and I'll make sure it happens," Mia said, her eyes still locked on her brother's.

Spencer swallowed hard. He'd never seen that kind of look in her eyes—that kind of determination.

"Just—" Spencer paused, thinking about his word choice "—be careful."

"I always am," Mia said with a small smile.

"I have to get Nicholas," Spencer said, standing up slowly. He looked down at his sister and gave her a concerned smile. "You should probably take a shower."

Mia dropped her gaze to her arms that were resting in her lap and sighed silently. They were still tinted with dried blood that mostly belonged to Aiden and Tara. Once they arrived back at the safe-zone, Mia helped Pete, the local surgeon, stabilize Tara, which only added a fresh layer of blood to her hands. Afterwards, she was whisked back home by her parents where she told recounted the day's events.

As she sat with her family, she tried to tap into what she'd felt back at the warehouse after shooting Aiden, but it was as if she'd used up all her tears, and instead all she felt was numb. She excused herself shortly there after and went to get some fresh air. She had grown so accustomed to the extra weight of dirt and blood constantly clinging to her skin that she forgot she hadn't showered yet.

"That would also give me an excuse to avoid seeing Nicholas," Mia agreed, nodding as she stood from the porch.

"I thought you said…"

"I might not hate him, but that doesn't mean I want to see him after he got Aiden and Noah killed," Mia answered. "And neither should you."

"I'm just doing what mom asked," Spencer said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"So, you don't believe me either," his sister sighed.

"I do, Mia," Spencer told her with utmost confidence. "Because I know you'd never lie about this."

"Thank you," Mia murmured in response. "I just wish that mom saw it that way."

"She's got her political mindset," Spencer reminded his sister. "She wants to believe you, but she needs to hear everyone's side of the story before making her final decision."

"Well, I say screw the politics," Mia joked as she started towards the front door.

Spencer smiled and hurried down the porch steps, facing his sister as he reached the walkway. "I'll be back soon."

Mia waved weakly before turning and walking inside, shutting the door behind her.

Her hair was still damp when she decided to risk going downstairs. She could hear people talking, but she couldn't tell if Nicholas was one of them. Even though she had convinced herself that she no longer felt any hatred for him, she knew there was still a chance he would do or say something that could cause her to lose control of her temper. And if that happened, even for a moment, there was no telling what she would do.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs she could make out Nicholas' voice coming from the next room, causing her to hesitate to make her presence known.

"Aiden was trying to save us from a roamer; shooting at it," There was an elongated pause and Mia bit her lip, anxious to hear what he would say next. "Then Glenn distracted him."

She wrapped a hand around the stairs railing, clenching it until her knuckles turned white as her anger began to fester. A part of her wanted to go into the living room and make him tell the truth, but another part of her wanted to wait to hear if he would have the audacity to lie about Aiden and Noah's death.

"They wanted to just go; I didn't. I wasn't going to leave him." Mia pressed a hand over her mouth to stop herself from calling out when she realized he was trying to paint the picture that he was the hero.

"What about Tara?" Her mom asked.

"I wasn't going to leave her," Nicholas said. Mia kept her hand locked around the railing and her jaw clenched as he continued to spin his tale. "Then, when we got into the lobby, Glenn and Mia were hitting on the glass, pushing my door open. They were going to kill me! Or they were trying to—or they just didn't care."

"And I—if I didn't push back, I'd be dead too," Nicholas continued, his voice become frantic. "They did this! It was them!"

"But you all came back together," Deanna started. "How did that happen?"

"Because he's a liar," Mia answered as she entered the living room, looking down at her mother. "Everything that's come out of his mouth has been nothing but lies. And it's all a desperate attempt to save his life." She shook her head in disgust as she turned her gaze to Nicholas. "He's a coward and he'll keep getting people killed. He's already gotten people killed." She looked back at her mother. "Aiden told us what really happened to the run-team that died on his watch. He told me that it was his and Nicholas' fault because they ran, leaving the rest of your people to be overrun by walkers. And that is exactly what Nicholas did today. He panicked, he ran, and now two people are dead; one of them being your own son."

"She's lying!" Nicholas swore as he stood from his seat hastily. He looked between Deanna and her daughter as he hesitated to continue. "She's—she's just trying to protect herself! She's just like them! She's an outsider! She—she's a killer! Not me!"

"What's going on in here?" Spencer asked as he appeared from the kitchen with his father on his heels.

"We're just trying to figure everything out," Deanna assured her son.

Mia couldn't hold back her scoff. "God, you really are a politician. You go on and on about knowing people—knowing how to read them. Well, if that was true then you'd be able to look at him," she paused, gesturing to Nicholas, "and just know that he's a liar and a coward and a killer."

"You know me Deanna!" Nicholas shouted, anger seeping into his voice. "You know that I'm not capable of what she's saying I did! Do you know what she's capable of?! She was just trying to save herself and her new friends. She didn't care about me or Aiden!"

Before anyone could stop her, Mia grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the bookshelf. Everybody stepped towards the two when they realized that she had a knife in her hand. No one had even seen her reach for the weapon. She raised it to Nicholas' neck instantly.

"Mia!" Spencer shouted.

"You're right," Mia said as she pressed the tip of the blade to Nicholas' throat. She almost laughed when she saw the fear in his eyes. "They don't know what I'm capable of and neither do you. I could kill you right here, right now without batting an eye. But do you know what I would never do?! Leave my brother to die! You did that! Not me! It's time to have some fucking dignity and take responsibility!"

"Mia!" Spencer said sternly as he placed a hand on her arm; the same one that held the knife.

She didn't move for a few seconds, holding Nicholas' gaze and keeping the knife to his neck until Spencer repeated her name again. It was only then she dropped the weapon to her side and tore her eyes from the coward in front of her, looking at her brother. Knowing Spencer was there and that he believed her account of Aiden's death was the only thing keeping her from letting all the anger and frustration out on her parents.

Mia turned to them as she slipped her knife back into her belt. "I'm your daughter and Aiden was my brother. I loved him with all my heart and losing him felt like losing a part of myself. Do you believe that?"

Reg and Deanna nodded solemnly.

"Then you should know that I never would have left Aiden there to be killed by walkers," Mia told them before turning and walking out of the house.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she started down the street, the cold night air nipping at her through the thin long-sleeved shirt she was wearing. She didn't even know where she was going until she ended up on Rick's street.

Mia knew his family would be able to understand her decisions. Glenn had been by her side through it all and she was certain that Rick wouldn't doubt her testimony.

"Mia," someone called out as she neared the large house.

She turned to see Max starting towards her. He was wearing a large jacket already, but had another one in his hands. He held it out to her when he got close enough. Mia hesitated, but she took it eventually, pulling it on quickly.

"Thanks," she murmured, smiling faintly.

"I saw you walk by and I knew you'd be cold," Max explained as he gestured to the coat he'd given her.

Mia let herself smile, feeling comfortable enough around him to do so. "Well, you were right."

"Are you okay?" Max asked, obviously concerned.

Mia hesitated to tell the truth. "No. I'm not."

"I know there's nothing I could say that would make you feel better about what happened to your brother, but I knew him. He was a good guy and I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry he died. He'll be missed around here," Max told her, placing an arm on her shoulder.

Mia sighed as she nodded slowly, placing a hand over his and giving it a small squeeze. "Thank you, Max."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked with a faint smile. "I've been told I'm a great listener."

Mia let out a breathless laugh. She bit her lip softly as she held his gaze. "If it's okay, I'd rather be the listener."

"Okay," Max said, smiling and nodding. "What do want to talk about?"

"I don't know," Mia sighed as she shrugged and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Tell me everything there is to know about you. I need the distraction."

Max only had to weigh the option for a few seconds before agreeing. He led her over to the curb where they sat side by side.

He did most of the talking, telling Mia about his life growing up and his family while she remained quiet. But as the conversation went on, she started to open up a little, revealing a couple short stories from her childhood. It was enough to distract her from everything else going through her head.

Over an hour had passed by the time they agreed to end the conversation and part ways.

"Thank you for that," Mia said, gesturing to the curb where they'd just been sitting. "I needed it."

"I would say that's what friends are for," Max started. "But the last thing I want to do is friend-zone myself. You can never really come back from that."

Mia let out a short laugh, unsure how to respond.

It never took her long to figure out whether or not she liked a guy as more than a friend, and Max was a good guy; compassionate, smart, funny, humble—everything she always looked for in a man. But she'd only ever been in three serious relationships; two before the outbreak and one after. While she wasn't eager to enter into another one, she had come to learn that everything seemed easier when she had someone standing by her side.

"Could I ask you one more question? I will accept whatever answer you give, I promise," he assured her.

Mia pursed her lips together, hesitating for a moment. "Sure."

"Can I kiss you?"

Mia took a deep breath as she processed his question, her mouth falling open slightly. It was unexpected, to say the least. "I—I don't—"

"You don't have to say yes, Mia," Max said with a smile. "If you're not ready, I am willing to wait until you are. It's completely up to you."

Mia swallowed slowly and bit her lip as she looked over her shoulder at Rick's house. The windows were lit up, telling her that they were still awake, but from what she could see, no one was watching them.

Rick wasn't watching them.

She was aware of her growing admiration for the sheriff, but aside from the kiss on the cheek at the party and the next day, he hadn't done anything to show her that he had started to feel something for her as well. But Max was making his intentions clear and there was a small chance she could come to like him more than just a friend.

Mia turned back to Max and sighed. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Max asked as he stepped towards her.

"Yes," she said even though a part of her was screaming in protest.

Max walked up to her once he got the confirmation and grabbed her arm lightly, pulling her into a kiss. She kissed him back as he cupped the sides of her face in his hands and a few seconds later they pulled apart. Max was smiling wide and Mia forced herself to return it.

It was a nice, short kiss, but Mia felt like that's all it was. She didn't feel like there wasn't any real emotion behind it. There was nothing that told her that her relationship with Max would ever be able to be romantic.

"I've wanted to do that since the moment I first saw you," Max said after a few seconds of silence passed.

All Mia could do was nod and smile

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course," she answered with the same forced smile that everyone always believed.

She waited until he turned his back to her to run her hands over her face. She groaned as she dropped her arms to her side and turned on her heels, planning to take the long way back to her house.

She stopped short when she saw a shadowy figure standing on Rick's porch. She had to take a step towards them before she could see who it was.

"Rick," Mia whispered when she realized it was his blue eyes that were locked on her. She raised her voice just high enough so she knew he could hear her. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Longer than you'd like," he answered.

Mia screwed her eyes shut for a moment as she took a deep breath, knowing exactly when he must have come outside. She gestured over her shoulder when she opened her eyes again. "That—it—it didn't mean anything."

"It looked like it meant something," Rick responded tensely.

"Well, it didn't," Mia told him truthfully.

"I think it meant somethin' to him," Rick said, nodding after Max.

Mia took another deep breath before she could muster up the courage to walk onto the porch. She wasn't patient enough to take the time to beat around the bush. She faced Rick as she folded her arms over her chest. "Today, I shot my brother—I killed him—and then I watched, powerless, as Noah was ripped apart by walkers. And after I got home, I told my mom what I did and I expected her to tell me that I did the right thing, but she didn't. She just sat there and stared at the floor, crying. And as much as I wanted to cry—to mourn my brother, I couldn't," Mia admitted calmly. "So, yeah, I spent the last hour talking to Max about things that don't matter and I let him kiss me because I needed to try to feel something other than this emptiness inside me, but it didn't work. Max is my friend and I think he's a good guy, but I don't feel for him what I feel for you."

They stood there on the porch, unmoving, until Mia let out a quiet sigh. She stepped towards him, placing a hand on his arm as she went up on her toes to press a kiss to Rick's cheek. He closed his eyes as he leaned into the gesture, savoring the moment.

"Goodnight, Rick," Mia murmured before she pulled away. She would let him sit with her confession for as long as he needed. She just needed to say it.

"Mia," Rick said, grabbing her arm lightly as she turned to leave. "I like you. There's no question about that. I just—it's been a while since I've done this."

"You and me both," she responded quietly. She reached out and took Rick's hand in hers, their fingers fitting together like two puzzle pieces. She met his gaze again. "I say, we take this slow. Work through it together, step by step."

Rick nodded. "Okay."

"And if either of us ever wants out, all we have to do is say the word. There's no pressure to make this work," Mia told him, trying to make sense of her own thoughts.

"And, what's the first step?" Rick asked as his gaze flickered to their intertwined hands.

Mia thought for a moment, biting the corner of her lip as she did so. Her gaze fell away from Rick's as she let go of his hand. He narrowed his eyes, but she was quick to explain. "We build our friendship. We get to know each other better; our likes, our dislikes, our strengths, our weaknesses, and we try to figure out if we'd even work as a couple."

"And we stay friends even if we decide not to pursue each other," Rick continued. "We hold onto the trust we build up and we stay friends—we stay together."

"That almost sounds like a functional relationship," Mia joked, smiling weakly.

"Almost." Rick returned her smile.

"I've gone about a lot of things the wrong way in the last couple years and I just—I don't want my relationship with you to become another example of that," Mia paused for a few seconds as her smile grew. "So, thank you for agreeing to this."

"I don't do anything half-assed," Rick said, smirking faintly. "Especially, not something like this."

"Another thing we have in common." Mia noted light-heartedly. "I should get back to the house. My parents are probably wondering where I am." Her expression faltered as she inhaled slowly, remembering why she'd decided to come to Rick's house in the first place. "Um, you should probably know that I overheard Nicholas giving my mom his statement about today and—uh—he was lying about everything that happened. He was trying to paint himself as some kind hero and put all blame for Aiden and Noah's death on me and Glenn."

"Did you tell your mom that he was lying?" Rick asked as a hint of anger started to contort his expression.

"That and I threatened Nicholas with my knife. It probably wasn't the best decision, but I just got so angry," Mia explained, shaking her head. "I mean, he was trying to convince my own mother that I would just up and leave my brother for dead. And a part of me thinks she believed him."

"I doubt that," Rick sighed.

"I don't," Mia murmured. "You should have seen the look on her face after I told her what I did." She took a deep breath as she turned towards the street, leaning on the porch railing as she looked up at the night sky. "I just—I needed to hear her say that I did the right thing—that I made the right choice, but I think she'd rather believe that I left him behind."

"I don't think that's true," Rick said, shaking his head. "Your mother loves you and I think she knows that if he'd been alive when the walkers reached him, he would have died very painfully. She just doesn't want to accept the fact that he's dead."

"I hope you're right," Mia told him. There was a short silence before she spoke again. "I was out there for a while, Rick, and I made a lot of questionable decisions. But making the decisions wasn't even the worst part. It was what came after; the doubt and the uncertainty that I had made the right decision. And because I was alone, there was no one there to tell me that I'd done the right thing—that I'd made the right choice. So, I'd have to try to convince myself that I did and sometimes it stuck, while other times it felt impossible to believe. I thought getting here would make that easier. I'd be able to hear from other people—the people I love the most in the world—that everything I did was necessary. But, so far, that hasn't happened." Mia shrugged weakly as she shook her head. "Maybe I just set my expectations a little too high."

"Your parents and brother don't know enough about the real world to help you justify whatever it is that you did while you were out there," Rick said, sidling up beside Mia. He placed his hands on the railing, leaning against it as he looked at her. "But I can tell you that, today, you made the right decision."

She turned her head towards him and placed one of her hands on top of his. "Thank you."

Rick's gaze lingered on their hands for a moment before he made eye contact with her. He gave her a small smile as he nodded. "You're welcome."

Mia held his gaze, keeping her hand on top of his until she remembered her parents. "I should go. My parents are probably getting flashbacks to when I used to run away."

"You were a trouble-maker?" Rick asked, slightly amused by the idea.

"Everybody has their phases. Mine just happened to be getting the urge to take long walks in the middle of the night," Mia shrugged coolly. She couldn't resist smiling when Rick smirked knowingly.

"Mine was stealing my dad's car for joy-rides," Rick told her. "Luckily, he never even found out."

"A sheriff and a bona fide thief," Mia sighed, shaking her head. "You are a jack of all trades, Rick Grimes."

"All except medicine, but you can keep that one."

"That's probably a good idea."

"I—uh—I wanted to thank you earlier for helping with Tara, but you were busy," Rick told her, his train of thought shifting to another topic.

Mia shrugged. "I wanted to become a doctor to save lives. That never really went away."

"What did you think of the surgeon? His name is Pete, right?" Rick asked. Mia nodded, but narrowed her eyes slightly when she heard the playfulness in his voice fade entirely.

"He's a good doctor and he seems like an okay guy, but we didn't do much talking," Mia told Rick. She continued when he remained quiet. "I've talked to his wife, Jessie, a couple times. She was nice. I also met their two sons. That's all I really know about them. Why?"

Rick hesitated to tell her what Carol revealed just a few hours ago. He knew he could trust Mia, but he didn't want to involve more people than he needed to. He just felt like he needed to tell her—like she had the right to know.

"Pete's beating Jessie," Rick revealed.

Concern steadily filled Mia's expression. "How do you know that? How—how can you be sure?"

"Carol saw some warning signs and then she got their son, Sam, to tell her the truth," Rick explained quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear them.

"How long has it been happening? Does my mom know?" Mia queried.

"It's been a long-term thing, but I don't know if your mother is aware it's happening," Rick answered. He could tell Mia was concerned that Deanna knew about the abuse and was doing nothing to stop it.

"Have you talked to Jessie about it?"

"No."

Mia sighed heavily as she threaded her fingers through her hair. She looked at Rick as she dropped her hand to her side, shrugging weakly. "I'll talk to her tomorrow and if she agrees to it, we'll separate them. But, if that doesn't work then we'll have to kill him."

"That's what I thought too," Rick admitted.

"It's the only option. If this doesn't get diffused then it might only be a matter of time before he kills her," Mia said with the utmost certainty. Rick gave her a curious look.

"I had to do a lot of community service to help get into Harvard and as a part of that I would volunteer at women's shelters and abuse hotlines. There were always stories and cases that I heard about that didn't ended well," Mia explained. "I know that if Pete doesn't go after Jessie, then he'll go after the kids. We can't let that happen."

"I know," Rick agreed. "I'll talk to your mom tomorrow while you talk to Jessie."

"Okay," Mia nodded. She leaned against the railing, allowing the silence to linger for a few moments longer than she should have. "Do you mind if I ask why you want to help Jessie?"

Rick pursed his lips into a thin line as he dropped his gaze momentarily. He sighed quietly when he looked back up at Mia, deciding to always tell her the truth. "What Pete is doing is wrong. A man should never raise a hand to a woman, let alone the woman he vowed to love and protect for the rest of his life." But even after making the decision to tell her everything, he hesitated. He didn't want to risk losing what they'd just begun to establish. "And I've also talked to Jessie. She was welcoming to me and my family and we—we just got along right away. She has this innocence about her and she never seemed to judge me or the rest of my family. Jessie's someone I know I can trust and I want to do what I can to protect her family."

"You care about her," Mia concluded, smiling weakly.

Rick's admiration for her grew instantaneously. He knew he was wrong to think she'd get jealous or angry. He should have known Mia would have conducted herself with the same understanding attitude she had since the day he met her.

Mia read his expression. "Like I said before, there's no pressure to make our relationship work and if you end up deciding that Jessie is a better fit for you then I will let you go. We just need to promise to be honest with each other."

"I will never lie to you, Amelia Monroe," Rick swore as he took one of her hands in his.

One corner of her lips twitched upward into a faint half-smile as she placed her other hand on his chest tenderly. "And I will never lie to you, Rick Grimes."

A/N: This chapter was probably the hardest one to write so far because I had to determine how Mia would begin to deal with her brother's death. I think I started this chapter about six times, but this was the final choice. And, as I promised, more Rick and Mia scenes! Hope you enjoyed it! I apologize for any mistakes.

Thank you to all the readers that stuck with this story while I took a small break from writing. Life had been really rough the last couple weeks and it's about to get rougher. My depression and anxiety has been at its worst so I will be taking a necessary break from all my stories for a bit. I don't really know how long I'll be gone. It could be only a couple days or a couple weeks, but I swear I will update the first chance I feel up to it. I just need to focus on taking care of myself for a while.

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and Rick/Mia's blooming friendship. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!

I hope you all had an amazing Christmas or holiday! And Happy New Years! I wish you all the best and I am so appreciative of all the support this story has gotten. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!