An Absolution
Author's Note: No large updates this time, but I should warn you the story is going to get slightly more questionably-explicit in this chapter. There are a couple awkward moments. Anyways, carry on readers.
Todd's POV
It was a pretty easy day for the most part; we spent most of the day close to one another doing our own things. I spent most of it playing a game while Maurecia updated our photo album. We had more leftover soup for lunch and Fluffy spent most of the day at our side. After eating a frozen pizza around six thirty, Maurecia's cell phone rings.
"Who's this?" She flips the phone open. "Hello?" I raise an eyebrow in a questioning expression. "Oh daddy how are you?"
"Is that your dad?" I ask curiously. She winks at me and continues.
"I'm good." She says as they continue talking. "No, I'm still at Todd's house." She turns over to me. "Is that okay? He's done a pretty good job taking care of me as a guest so far." She sighs. "But dad, I don't know if he's Christian." My eyelids expand.
"I am." I say in shock of her not knowing that.
"He is, but he probably doesn't go." I shrug in confusion. "I have to go? That's not fair!" She complains. He continues speaking to her. "I don't know if he wants to talk." I tap her shoulder.
"I can." She groans and looks turns back into the phone.
"You want to talk to Todd?" She sighs. "Okay here he is." She hands me the phone, then skates into the kitchen.
"Hello?" I say into the phone.
"Hello Todd. How are you?" It's Maurecia's father.
"Hi Jerome, I'm doing pretty well, thank you for asking."
"Have you been taking good care of my daughter?"
"Yes sir, I have." I pause for a second. "Have you been taking good care of the accused man?" He begins laughing at that.
"That's hilarious!" He slowly stops laughing. "But for now we're doing well. The trial isn't over yet but right now I think we're winning."
"That's nice. Is there something you wanted to ask me?"
"Yes son, it's not a critical or mandatory favor, but could you please go to church with Maurecia tonight?" I guess I hadn't planned this.
"Well sir, I don't know. It's pretty cold outside and there isn't a car for me to take." I respond.
"It's only about a mile away from your house. If you and Maurecia take wheels and go slow and steady, you shouldn't have any trouble getting there." I stop for a second and think it over.
"Do you want me to use my skateboard?" I ask.
"If you're used to it, but I would really appreciate it if she went to church one of these nights. Is she coming home tomorrow?" He asks.
"If you say so, you're the boss around here." He gives his usual hearty laugh.
"Not today Todd. You're the man of the house, so it's your responsibility to determine whether or not Maurecia is welcome, not mine." I didn't see that coming.
"Okay, well she's a lot of fun." He has another hearty laugh.
"That's what I like to hear son." He pauses for a second. "I can call you 'son' right?"
"I'm okay with that."
"Good, you're a pretty good boy aren't you?" I roll my eyes.
"For the most part, I guess." My tone lowers a couple of notches. "But I'm still not perfect." He sighs.
"Nobody's perfect Todd, but Maurecia thinks you're perfect so it's really not a problem."
"Even though an injury caused by me is the only reason we're together?" His tone changes as well.
"I thought you put that behind you. Maurecia said she'd like to never look back."
"It's still something I'm never going to forgive myself for." He sighs.
"Son, I think you can put it behind you, if you hadn't hurt my daughter I never would've gotten to meet you. My other sons try to get girlfriends but they're too immature to get approval from their parents." I'm a little shocked.
"Sir, Maurecia's your only daughter, are you really more worried about your boys than you are of her?" He scoffs.
"Todd, Maurecia is way tougher than they are. Besides, I actually trust you and respect you as a person."
"What are you saying?" I ask.
"Sometimes I wish my sons were a little more like you. Parker is too lazy to get a job or hardly ever even leave the couch. I'm greatly worried about him because he's a senior now and I don't know if he'll be able to live on his own next year." I roll my eyes.
"The only message I'm hearing is, if Maurecia and I do get married, don't have children because they're too hard to manage."
"No, I can manage them pretty well, it's when they can't rely on me anymore when I get worried." I'm still confused.
"Well you're about six four and have the physical form a lot of strong men in their twenties have, even though you're in your forties." He chuckles.
"I'm forty seven. And I was thirty two on Christmas day, when we finally stopped having children. We thought seven was enough." I give an awkward face.
"I doubt I'll have seven kids." I say. "I don't think I could handle that many." He chuckles.
"I know my daughter will say otherwise, but my advice isn't that simple. I'm saying don't have any children until you're ready for them. If you can't even afford to be at home with your family during Christmas break, then you did one or two things wrong." That's interesting coming from him.
"Okay, I never thought about having children before." Jerome catches my attention.
"Todd! Keep in mind if you do have children they'll need habits fixated into their lives!" He says rather firmly.
"Like what?" I ask nervously. "Are you worried about something?"
"I know Maurecia is going to want to have children the first chance she has when you're both adults and living out of your parents' home. And she's likely going to say you were ready long before you were an adult before you made that decision." I'm getting a little scared during this conversation.
"Sir, are you talking about sex?" I hear him clear his throat.
"Yes Todd, I'm not ready to be a grandpa yet. I need a quick, sane, reality check." I take a deep breath.
"Sir, I'm a fifteen year old virgin who has no intentions of changing that until I have a job, close to or finished with my lifetime education, and have a home to support myself."
"I'm proud to hear that." I sigh in relief. "Todd, I want you to remember that I trust you."
"Thank you sir."
"You're welcome, but sometimes I think of you possibly being my son in law. The idea of you and my only daughter possibly getting married and having kids, it's a lot to take in just by thinking of it, and sometimes I need to hear it from you specifically that you'll protect my daughter and you'll treat her as any respectable man would." Okay then.
"You can count on me sir. I promise nothing irresponsible involving Maurecia for as long as I live."
"Good, now if you'd please take my daughter to church with you, I'd really appreciate it."
"Okay sir, I will."
"Thank you." Just as I'm about to hang up he speaks up. "Todd."
"Yes Jerome?" I respond rather impatiently.
"I'm giving you a little leash on Maurecia right now, I know my wife wants every child at the house while we're not home but I'm trusting you with our youngest. Please make me proud." I'm left feeling proud and astounded. When I'm about to tell him thanks, he hangs up on me. I guess I'll have to keep my word. I make my way back into the kitchen and see Maurecia washing our plates and our cutting board.
"Babe, what are you doing?" I ask and she turns around.
"Washing dishes." She continues. "It's only fair if I help out with inevitable chores we share." I smile lightly.
"Can I give us another chore?"
"Like what?" Maurecia gives me adorable eyes and holds her hands together below her pancreas.
"Can I count on you to go to church tonight with me?" Her eyebrows drop.
"What? When I gave you the phone I thought you were trying to talk my dad out of it!" I hold my arms outward.
"Well what was I supposed to do about it?" I say defending myself. "Your mom is getting a little impatient with you right now and it's because you've been here longer than she thought!" She glares at me.
"Todd, I told you I wanted to be around people I considered family this year." I frown and cross my arms.
"Maurecia, whether you like it or not, we're not family." She still looks angry but a couple of tears make their way to her eyes.
"I see the term 'family' as someone or a group of people you hold closer to your heart than the rest of the world!" I'm surprised. "Now does that mean with four older brothers who barely pay any attention to you or someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?" I make a half disgusted face.
"I don't know, but I do know we're not related by blood or matrimony. So there isn't anything either of us can do about it." She turns away from me. "Your dad called you because he wants you to praise god on the night we were given someone who would later give up his own life to redeem us of our wrongdoings." She shrugs.
"It's December twenty-third. We're two days away from that." I sigh.
"Maurecia, we haven't had any relief to our sins since the day either of us were born. Whether we don't like to look at them or deny their existence. You and I have both made many misdeeds in our lifetimes. And even though people say they'd rather not remember, they still exist and it's too late to go back."
"Todd..." She says quietly as she faces me. "Are you saying forgiveness doesn't mean anything?" I shrug.
"Not necessarily, but sometimes they're not enough." She closes her eyes. "And sometimes… they feel like a scar that won't fade, a void that won't fill, an empty piece within us that we'll never be able to look at the way we could have." She looks up at me. "Remember when you were in the hospital?" She begins to cry.
"I thought I told you never to look back Todd, I already forgave you for that incident a long time ago. I kept hoping and praying you'd get over that." I sigh.
"I try Maurecia, I try really hard to forget about that. But… even if you say it's okay… part of me will never get over the Todd I was that day. I wish that Todd didn't exist but he did and he did something horrifying that day." Maurecia skates a little closer.
"I thought I told you that Todd only made me stronger." I look up.
"No he didn't. The Todd that was sorry for the action and prayed for your safety the day you woke up made you stronger. The Todd I was the day of the incident, almost killed you." I shed a couple tears myself. She hugs me lightly.
"Please don't think that way. It's a miracle I got up." I stop crying.
"And it is God who decided to save your soul. So I think we need to honor him by going to the perish tonight and spending time serving the Lord's Prayer." She immediately smiles.
"Okay cutie pie. I'll do it for you." She slides to the closet and removes two coats. I serve Fluffy a peanut butter sandwich.
"Here you go pal." Fluffy licks his lips.
"Thank you Todd." He mouths before he takes a big bite of the sandwich.
"Fluffy." He looks up at me. "Please behave yourself while we're gone." He nods. "Alright then, goodbye." Maurecia hands me a coat and I pick up my skateboard. A minute later we're out the door.
After about five minutes of high speed skating and skateboarding we arrive at the church. It's an unusually tall building with a large cross on the outside and a small labyrinth area next to it with a couple of benches and a large bell that is held in place.
"This is your church?" I ask.
"You bet." Maurecia opens the door for me. "After you."
"Thank you." I say as I step forward and she follows me. We make it to the larger room where there is an assortment of benches lined up. Few people are actually in this building right now other than the choir and maybe about forty people in total sitting down.
"Hey! There's Parker!" Maurecia exclaims as she points to an older kid sitting five rows from the front behind the choir.
"Isn't he your oldest brother?" I ask.
"Well, he's the oldest brother still living inside our house, third member of the lower totem pole." She responds. "I'm a little surprised he came. I thought he'd sit on the couch and play Halo all night." I grin.
"He should come to my house and play games sometime." She chuckles.
"You two are so alike with gaming. But other than that you're polar opposites. He's supposed to be extremely lazy and not care about being social to anyone else." I raise an eyebrow.
"Are you saying he's out of character?" She turns back to me.
"To my perspective he is. But it's possible he's maturing." I smile.
"Let's go sit by him." I grab her hand and start walking that way.
"I don't know about this." I let go of her hand and give her a confusing look.
"What's the problem?" I ask.
"Well… you remember how every time you came to my house one of my brothers would try to sabotage our good time right?" I nod.
"Yeah, but don't remember Parker ever doing anything to us." I grab her arm again. "Don't be ashamed to be present with a family member." As we get closer he spots us and waves.
"Hey sis!" He exclaims rather happily.
"Hey bro." She responds shyly. I chuckle a couple times and sit down, Maurecia does the same.
"Hi Parker." I say holding out my hand.
"Todd!" He exclaims as he high fives me. "Great to see you again, Maurecia never stops talking about you." Maurecia blushes.
"No I don't." She clears her throat. "But I also didn't expect to see you hear. Did dad make you come?" He shakes his head.
"No, I came by choice." Maurecia's eyes widen.
"No way! You never want to get off of your game." He chuckles.
"If you play the same game every single game it gets repetitive." He grabs my skateboard. "Did you really think bringing a skateboard into church is a respectful idea?" I stammer a couple of times.
"Well, I uh, I didn't have a car with me, and I uh, I didn't know where else to put it." He chuckles twice.
"No problem Todd, but this isn't a good spot for it." He stands up and steps out of the row. "Allow me to show you the closet." I get up and follow him.
"Okay sure." Maurecia just kneels and prays.
"I'll just stay here." We head out of the room.
A couple minutes later we're at a closet containing some clothes hangers and a few boots on the ground. Some hangers are occupied by coats and I add mine to the closet myself. Parker seats my skateboard in and upward position next to the pole.
"There's a good spot for a skateboard don't you think?" I shrug.
"I guess so. I'm really sorry, I'm not used to coming to church so I didn't plan on the skateboard being an issue." I say apologetically and defensively.
"Todd, it's alright dude. It's just very unexpected to have a skateboard next to you during mass. People might have weird thoughts."
"Alright." I assume we're about to go back but he doesn't follow me.
"Have you been treating my sister well?" He asks grimly. I raise an eyebrow.
"Uh yeah, your dad asked the same question." He shrugs.
"Nothing personal, I just felt obligated to ask since she is my youngest sibling and I heard you might've been the cause that put her in the hospital." I'm getting really stressed out.
"I didn't mean for that to happen!" I raise my voice at him. "Can we just put it behind us?"
"I don't know. You promise you won't do it again?" I make a fist but hide it.
"Yes I do! I've spent a long time trying to get over it okay! I don't need you to bring it back up." I glare at him as he defensively holds his arms out.
"Dude, okay I get it. No need to get aggressive." I calm down a little. "I just don't want you to end up hurting her again." I sigh and hold my head down.
"Parker." I mumble.
"Yeah Todd?" He responds. I think it over.
"Never mind." I slowly walk away under sadness.
"Dude." I stop. "I'm sorry, did I say something?" I sniffle a couple times but try fighting more inevitable tears. "Buddy, are you crying?" I face him.
"I'm trying not to." His expression drops.
"What's on your mind?"
"I said never mind." I say defensively. He sighs.
"Just tell me pal, I'm not mad at you for anything." I take a deep breath.
"Parker, I've been trying really hard to forget about hurting Maurecia for a long time. You bringing it up only makes it worse."
"Oh, I'm really sorry Todd." He pats my shoulder. "I just get worried about Maurecia sometimes. She is the youngest member of our family and her dating you as a Freshman is a bit younger than most people do." We make eye contact.
"It's alright Parker, it's just really hard to look at Maurecia sometimes without an image of her unconscious and motionless going through my head. I've never been able to forgive myself for that." He smiles.
"Don't feel bad Todd, you're actually my hero." I'm astonished.
"I am?" He nods.
"Yeah dude, Maurecia always comes home from school in a good mood and it's all because of you."
"Okay, why do you care?" I ask.
"It's just nice to see my little sister so happy every day. You've really boosted her confidence." I smile.
"Okay then. Glad to hear it."
"And that lead to my confidence being boosted as well." I flinch.
"What does that mean?" I ask curiously. He giggles a couple of times.
"I have a girlfriend now!" He exclaims. "After Maurecia left I looked through my contacts and called a girl I haven't spoken to in a while!" There's a real surprise. "I asked her if she was doing anything and she said no. And she's extremely cute!" It's nice to see him happy.
"That's pretty cool." I say. "Does she go to Wayside?" He nods.
"Yep. And she's a member of the choir; I came to hear her sing." He pauses. "But between you and me, Maurecia doesn't know about it yet and I'm not ready to tell her." I frown slightly.
"Why not?" He shrugs.
"I really don't know. But can you keep that a secret please?" He asks looking a little desperate.
"I suppose." I kind of need to use the bathroom. "Hey is there a bathroom around here?" He nods and points behind him.
"Right around the corner." I run behind him.
"Thanks Parker, I'll be there in a few minutes."
I run into the restroom, use the urinal, wash my hands and then take a long look in the mirror. I like to think my soft clean face is presentable for Maurecia, but I kind of feel like my standard blue shirt looks lazy for a night like this. A church is a place for better clothing. I step out and hear the sound of instruments being played loudly in progression. Unfortunately for me, I'm not alone. A slightly shorter, yet slightly older, girl slams the girl's restroom door open and doesn't see me.
"I'm gonna be late!" She runs out quickly and crashes into me.
"OW!" We both exclaim in unison as my back hits the wall, hers does to. I get up within five seconds while she slowly gets back on her feet.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" She says timidly. I take her hand and help her up.
"It's okay." I assure her. "It's not the first time I've been hit by a girl and it's not even in the top ten times for how much it hurt." She giggles.
"Oh, good." She says sounding shy. "I didn't mean to hit you, I just need to get back to the choir." I pause, listen closely, and turn back to her.
"I think they're working on the chord progression right now, the vocals will come in later." She pauses and stares into my eyes.
"Have I seen you before?" She asks.
"I don't know for sure. I'm Todd." I hold my hand out and she shyly shakes it.
"I'm Ellie. I go to Wayside high school." I'm surprised.
"So do I. Maybe we've seen each other but never spoke. I'm a freshman." She giggles.
"I'm a senior." I flinch.
"You're a senior? You look too young for that." She giggles again.
"I was a late September birthday and I skipped a grade." She says. "I'm sixteen."
"Interesting, you're one of the smarter people in your grade?" She nods. "I'm one of the more intelligent students myself." She smiles.
"That's neat. I heard some teachers talking about a student who they believe could've gone to college without going through high school." She gives me a beautiful smile. "I think they were talking about you." I'm flattered.
"That's pretty cool." She giggles. "I think you look younger than me." She blushes.
"Aw, you're adorable." I immediately feel my subconscious kick in.
"But I am in a relationship." She pauses.
"Oh that's fine, so am I." I raise an eyebrow slightly.
"Really?" She nods.
"I just hope I don't disappoint my boyfriend when I sing." She says looking kind of scared.
"Well, I kind of like your voice." She smiles and blushes. "You've got this in the bag."
"Thank you… uh Todd was it?" I nod. "Thanks Todd."
"You're welcome Ellie." I say.
"Awe, you remembered my name." I give her a thumbs up. "I'll do my best!" She then runs into the mass room at full speed.
"Good work Todd." I tell myself as a hand is placed on the back of my shoulder, I flinch and turn around to see a much older man.
"I don't believe I've ever seen you before." This must be the priest. He is wearing a large robe with crosses on it and speaks in a lower toned voice.
"I'm Todd." I hold my hand out and he shakes it.
"I'm father Wilbur. Are you a new member of our church family?" I shrugs slightly.
"I don't think so; I'm here because Maurecia's here." He smiles.
"Are you her smart, handsome, and wise boyfriend?" I pause for a second. "She always asks me if it's a sin to love someone as much as she loves him."
"I do date her." I respond as he smiles.
"So it is you. Maurecia hasn't come to church one time without praying to god that you and her will be closer together."
"She doesn't?" I ask and he nods slowly.
"No son. She never makes any of her prayers about anyone else." I look up at him nervously.
"Is it a sin to be in love at our age?" He chuckles a couple of times.
"Not at all son, in fact it's kind of adorable."
"I mean, you're a priest so you're not married right?" He shakes his head.
"No son I'm not. A holy priest isn't allowed to have a significant other. But that is by design and I chose to take on that design. There really isn't a sin to loving another human being. It's only a sin to not pledge love to one person."
"Oh okay." I respond quietly.
"But you're still young so it's not too late for you." I look him in the eyes.
"I have a couple important questions." He makes a humble face.
"I may have a couple of answers." I shiver a little on the inside.
"Is it a sin to have sex before marriage?" He flinches but continues.
"No son it is not, but I don't encourage anyone to have a child with anyone they don't love." I continue.
"And no, I haven't done it with Maurecia, but… a small part me wishes I could." I break my emotions and look at him nervously. "Is that a sin?" He pats my shoulder.
"Not at all son, it's a phase in puberty to begin developing desires, but if they're actual feelings, then it's not a sin." I'm pretty surprised.
"It isn't?"
"Well if you want to bring new life into this world then no it isn't. It was God's choice to make humans that way, but he gave us a free will."
"What are you saying?" I ask.
"God has no control over you as a human being and won't think less of you if you follow your heart. Is your heart in the right place?" I nod.
"I think so." He pats my shoulder. "Is it wrong to ask you of all people?"
"Son, I understand your point of view, you wonder if you're too young to love someone and the answer is no, though I don't recommend lusting until you're a little older." I nod.
"Fair enough." He continues.
"But if you truly do care about Maurecia, and she returns the same feelings for you, then you're still a clean soul who doesn't have any critical sins." This man is very wise.
"Sir, I do have one more sin that I can't even look to God for forgiveness." His expression changes.
"What is it?" I fight my own tears before they show.
"A little more than a year ago, I almost killed Maurecia." He looks shocked.
"You had a plan to take her life?"
"No, I punched her square in the forehead and she hit a wall." He sighs. "She was in a coma for two days."
"Son, what lead you to making that courageous move?" I shrug.
"For the longest time she'd punch me on the shoulder and I was sick of it. But her skates lead her to a concussion that could've easily disrupted her blood flow to her brain."
"And you are angry at yourself for doing that?" I nod.
"Sort of. It's a sin I feel every day and it bothers me. Are you angered by it?"
"Whether it disturbs me or not makes no difference to who you are Todd." That figures. "But did you thank God for keeping her with us on Earth rather than leading her to her demise?" I nod.
"I've never been more thankful about anything else for as long as I've been alive." He smiles comfortingly.
"Todd, if you've said thank you for protecting Maurecia's soul, then you've done your bidding for the sin. Your soul isn't in danger of smite."
"I know that, but it hurts me every day just looking back to it." He sighs.
"Son, I must go to my mass now, just remember that you're still a good boy, and Jesus still loves you." That's kind of reassuring. He walks out onto the stage as I rejoin Maurecia and Parker.
"What took you so long?" Parker asks.
"I bumped into a girl and met the priest." They both smile.
"What'd you think of Father Wilbur?" Maurecia asks.
"He's a cool guy." I say nervously. "I did learn a couple of things... and he learnt some things about me."
"Like what?" She asks. I shrug and sit down next to her.
"It's not important."
The mass session begins and I sit through a couple holy songs and a gospel reading. Father Wilbur takes his time to think of a homily to reference the reading, and I am really surprised to hear what he has to say!
"Just a little while ago." He begins. "I met a young man." I instantly know he's talking about me and I'm scared. "He felt like his soul was lost and maybe God wasn't there for him." I slowly slide downward hopelessly. Maurecia looks frustrated.
"What are you doing?" She asks sounding annoyed.
"Listen for yourself." I say as she turns back to him.
"He said that he was worried about people who get intimate at a young age, and that it may happen to him next." Maurecia turns toward me with wide eyes. I only shrug. "I told him that no, it's not a sin as long as you love and care for the person you're with. However, he stated he once injured a young lady. A young girl he claims to be in love with as we speak." Maurecia and I both have the same nervous expression on our faces. "To clarify, this girl was put in the hospital under an unfortunate act of violence he caused under pure frustration." Parker looks over at us.
"Hey that sounds like you." We both frown and Maurecia holds her arms out. "Oh, I see." He realizes and turns back to Wilbur.
"However, this young man is an innocent boy who feels the same pain of guilt behind his back on a daily basis, and I have some advice for him." I lean forward. "May your soul be purified." Right now I don't know what he's going for. He lifts up his bowl of holy water. "Dear lord, you've guided this injured girl through a lethal punishment and through that same young man's prayers, you've protected her soul." I feel rather relieved. "Dear lord, we are very proud you didn't take this girl away from our lives because she's too young to leave this world, and we are all thankful that she finally found love that she longed for so much." This is all really exciting for me. "And to the young boy who gave his apologies, the lord forgives you." I smile and almost shed a tear. "You are a truly blessed boy in this world to have such a pure heart and the will to admit to your misdeed. You're forgiven now by not only me, but everyone who cherishes the young girl's life. God has no quarrel with you young man, he longs for peace on Earth and you have made your peace with this young lady." He pauses for a second. "May that peace… bring your heart, and all of our hearts, closer to you, closer to her, and closer to one another for who we are."
After that's over I feel happy and renewed. Parker generously gave us a ride home from church, Fluffy set up a little mistletoe neither Maurecia nor I chose to ignore, and then we got into my bed and begin snuggling cozily up to each other. She lays her ear on my chest and wraps her warm arms around my back.
"I love you Todd."
"I love you to Maurecia." I lay there and watch my heartbeat lull her to sleep as I think about the things Wilbur said. But most importantly, that punch is long behind us now and I'll never look back to that day again. I gently place my hand over her heartbeat and feel the very source of her life and her desire to remain with me. I'll never forget that either. I give her a kiss on the top of her head and finally fall asleep.
Author's Note: And done. I hope that was as enjoyable to read as it was for me to write. Carry on readers, Goodnight.