Author Note: Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Quite a reaction to the last chapter again! Sorry/not-sorry about the cliffie.
Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.
Chapter 26 – Read My Lips
I continue to stare at my phone, hoping that I haven't totally lost my mind and that Edward's text messages say what I think they do.
He wants to see me. That's… good, right? Or could it be bad?
Aaarrggghhh! I'm going to make myself crazy. There's really only one way to find out.
I'll be over, I text back. Looking at Sandy asleep on my couch, I decide that I can probably leave her alone for a short while.
Stepping outside, I close and lock the door, since I don't know how long I'll be gone. I walk over to Edward's house and climb his steps, then knock on the door. I don't ring the doorbell since it's after 9pm; I'm sure Masen is asleep.
When the door swings open, I can only stand and stare at Edward. He has a few days' growth of beard and a t-shirt that shows off the definition in his body. Not helping yourself, Bella.
"Come on in," he says quietly, stepping backward as he opens the door wider. "Thank you… for coming. I wouldn't blame you if you hadn't. Um, do you want a drink? Some water?"
"Water would be great, thanks."
Cold bottle in hand, I follow Edward into the living room, where he points me toward the couch, yet remains standing. I take a sip of my drink, then look up at him expectantly.
"Um, I won't pretend that your confession didn't throw me for a loop," he begins. I see we're not beating around the bush.
"I know you said something months ago about… wanting our night together to be real." He pauses, swallowing thickly. "I guess it shouldn't have surprised me. Maybe I just didn't want to see it."
Edward seems like he has more to say, so I remain silent, watching him.
"My therapist and I talked about what you'd said and what I thought about it — and you. He kept asking me, over and over, as if he didn't like my answers. He thought I wasn't being honest."
"With him?" I ask, confused.
He shakes his head. "With myself." Sighing, he sits beside me on the couch, and I turn so that I can look at him. "I never looked at you as… a woman, I guess, until after that night we slept together. I've never lied to you, exactly, but I remember more than I've let on."
"What do you mean?" I whisper, my heartrate picking up.
"I remember kissing you. I remember the feel of you. Af-after that night, I needed to stay away from you. I felt this spark, this attraction… for someone other than Bree. And the guilt nearly killed me. But I learned to push it down, to ignore it. It was the only way I could resume our friendship."
It's nice to have Edward confirm what I'd already suspected. "So… you're physically attracted to me. And it's mutual, I hope you know."
He gets to his feet, picking up his bottle of water from the table for a long drink. Once he's set it back down, he tears at his hair with one hand. "My therapist made me list out all of the qualities that I would want in a woman when I start dating again. He wouldn't let me leave his office until I could come up with five things," he chuckles.
"Then he told me to go home and study the list with an open mind. So I did, and… you meet everything on that list, Bella. Every item, starting from my #1: loves my son as her own."
A spark of hope begins to bloom in my chest. Edward seems to be saying that he might be interested in dating me, except… "That still doesn't change the fact that Bree's death was 11 months ago and you're not ready to move on."
"Last week, I took my car to the garage to get my oil changed." My brow furrows at the non-sequitur. "I saw your old friend."
"Jacob?" I ask, though of course I already know he spoke to Jacob.
"Yeah. You didn't tell me he's a giant; I think he's even taller than Emmett. Tan skin, white teeth…" he trails off, shaking his head. "He seemed like the type of guy that women would be all over."
"I told you we were never more than friends."
"I know, but… I was struck by this irrational feeling of jealousy."
I laugh out loud, despite the tension in the room. "Jealous of Jacob?" I sputter. So I was right!
He nods sheepishly. "This week, I told my therapist what conclusions I'd come to and he seemed awfully pleased with himself," he laughs. "I guess he could sense from the way I spoke about you that… you aren't alone in this, Bella."
That spark of hope grows brighter. Edward returns my feelings? Or… some of them, anyway.
"I think you're a very special person," he continues. "You're kind and nurturing. You never gave up on me when I was acting like a dick and pushing you away. You've always been there for me when I've needed you. And most of all, I really enjoy spending time with you. I can't stand the thought of you with anyone else."
Suddenly, he sits beside me again, only closer this time… close enough that he reaches out and takes my hands in his. "My therapist made me see that we've actually… kind of… been dating. Yes, in some ways we're just hanging out like friends do, but… there's this undercurrent of more."
"Alice said the same thing," I admit with a laugh, tears starting to prick at my eyes. "She said what we've been doing isn't that far from actual dating. But are you saying you're ready for more?"
He sighs. "You know that's the toughest hurdle for me to get over. I still love Bree, and I'm not ready to give my heart to another woman. I'm not ready to make a long-term commitment to anyone."
"And you think I am?" I exclaim. "Commitment usually comes after the dating and falling in love and… sex. I-I'd like that, one day, but… I'm not ready for that either."
Edward exhales heavily, squeezing my hands as he nods. "I don't… want to lose my chance with you or lose you to someone else because I refuse to move on. Bree is gone, and waiting until it's been a year, or 18 months, or two years… it isn't going to change that.
"And so I think, maybe, we can start at the beginning. I can't make any promises as to what pace will feel right to me, but… I'm ready to take one baby step forward."
"What is a step forward to you?"
He smiles. "Let me find a babysitter for Masen and we'll go out tomorrow, just the two of us."
"A real date?" I clarify.
"Yes, a real date," he laughs.
"With a goodnight kiss?" Not that sex is all I'm looking for out of this relationship, but if Edward's pace means not even kissing until months from now… I might die of the female equivalent of blue balls.
Edward gets to his feet, tugging on my hands until I stand with him. "I just want to try one thing," he whispers, letting go of my hands. "Be very still." Slowly, he brings his right hand up to brush my hair back from my face. My body erupts in goosebumps from just the light touch of his fingertips.
Staring into my eyes, he leans closer, bending slightly so that his lips are more level with mine. I hold my breath as his lips finally brush against mine. He sucks gently on my bottom lip, cupping his hand around my cheek. I feel like I'm going to pass out from the strain of not throwing my arms around him and kissing him back the way I so want to.
When he pulls back and straightens to his full height, I finally let out the breath I've been holding. Edward reaches up, touching his lips with his fingers, and what seems like a dozen different emotions dance across his face. I've never wanted the ability to read minds more than in this moment.
"Was-was that OK?" I whisper.
"I… think I can handle kissing," he replies slowly.
A wide smile breaks out on my face, growing even wider when Edward smiles back.
"So… Bella Swan, will you go out with me tomorrow night?"
"I would love to."
I need to go shopping.
Edward said we weren't going anywhere fancy for our date, but he also texted me that he'd gotten reservations, so I feel like I should wear a dress, at least. I have dresses, but they're my work clothes. I don't really have date dresses, other than one he saw last year when we went to Port Angeles, since I haven't done much dating as an college grad.
I finally just decide that the dress I wore for this afternoon's graduation is fine, only paired with high-heeled pumps… which I wear about twice a year. Just watch, I'll trip and sprain my ankle on our first date.
Our first date. I still can hardly believe it. I've been on Cloud 9 ever since I left Edward's house last night. His admission that he returns some of my feelings and wants to give us a chance is more than I could've hoped for. I understand that his pace will be slower than I'd like, but he thinks I'm worth the trying, and that's the biggest ego boost a girl could get, under the circumstances.
Once I'm ready to go, I pace around my living room — partly to get used to walking in these shoes, and partly because my dress is black and my buff-colored kitten has been lying on my couch. In fact, she's there now, watching my movements with one eye.
When Edward knocks on the door, I rush to answer it, greeting him with a big smile.
"Wow!" he exclaims, looking me up and down.
"You don't look so bad yourself," I tease, trying to cover how pleased I am by the compliment.
"These are for you," he says, pulling his right hand from behind his back to reveal a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.
I smile widely. "Very good for a first date," I laugh. "Let me just go put these in a vase of water real quick." As I take care of that, I'm thankful that Sandy is still unable to jump onto the kitchen counter.
Edward and I walk out to his SUV with his hand on the small of my back. He surprises me by opening the passenger door for me, like a real gentleman, then closes it once I'm settled inside.
"Is Carolyn watching Masen tonight?" I ask as we back out of Edward's driveway. I don't see her car parked nearby.
"Yeah, he's at her house. She can't keep him too late though, since she was planning to get up early tomorrow and drive to Seattle to visit her other daughter and her family."
I expected that we'd go to Port Angeles for our date, so I'm surprised when Edward turns the opposite direction on Forks Ave. Within just a couple of minutes, we turn into the parking lot for The Lodge.
"Is this place OK?" Edward asks hesitantly as we get out of the car.
"Sure, I love the food here," I assure him.
I walk in with my head held high, being on Edward's arm. I feel like everyone is looking at us, but it's probably just my imagination. The hostess leads us to an intimate booth, and I smile at her in thanks.
"Do you eat here a lot?" Edward asks once our waiter has taken our drink orders. "I've never been here."
"Not a lot, but it's sort of a Forks tradition to come here if you're celebrating something. I had dinner here last year on my birthday with my dad and his girlfriend and her kids."
"Oh, I don't remembering you mentioning that she has kids."
I nod. "Leah is around my age — a few months younger, I think. Seth is 17, so he'll be switching schools to finish his senior year at Forks High instead of on the reservation once our parents get married."
"I remember you saying they're Quileute."
I nod. "Yeah, Sue's late husband, Harry, was good friends with my dad and Billy Black — Jacob's dad," I add just to get a reaction from him.
"Is Seth a giant like Jacob?" Edward asks, wrinkling his nose and making me laugh.
"Not quite that tall, but he seemed at least as tall as you when I saw him recently. And super skinny, even though he eats a ton. He had three pieces of my carrot cake at Easter."
Edward laughs. "What does her daughter do?"
"Leah is a checker at the Thriftway — jet black hair cut in a bob above her shoulders? Masen seemed to know her. At least I thought he was trying to call her by name."
"I know which one you mean," he nods. "She seems to be less blatant about checking me out than other women."
I laugh as the server returns with our drinks, then takes our dinner orders. My favorite dish here is the salmon, but I try to be a considerate date and don't order one of the most expensive things on the menu.
"How is Sandy doing? I think Masen's new favorite word is kitty," Edward adds, rolling his eyes.
"Well, he can come see her tomorrow… if our Sunday dinners are still on?"
"They are," he confirms with a smile.
"Great," I smile. "Anyway, Sandy is settling in really well. I took her to the vet last week to confirm she's a girl and get started with all of her kitten vaccinations. I ordered her a cat tree online that arrived yesterday; I'll probably need your help putting it together." I'm sure I could probably do it myself, but watching Edward doing something manly sounds much more fun.
"Sure, we can work on it tomorrow."
"I've been locking Sandy in the kitchen at night and when I go to school, but she was sleeping on the couch when I left tonight, so I just left her there. How much trouble can she get into in a couple hours?"
"You'd be surprised, I imagine," he laughs. "Picture if I left Masen alone that long."
"Oh God, you're gonna make me want to go home right now and check on her!"
After we've eaten our meals and split a brownie sundae for dessert — be still my heart — Edward takes care of the check and leads me out of the restaurant, his hand again on my back.
"So… I wanted to do this like a normal first date," he says nervously once we're on the road.
"Oh-kay?" The confusion must be evident in my voice.
"I-I mean, just dinner, and… I'll walk you to your door. Maybe next week you can come over and watch a movie or something?"
"Are you asking me on a second date already, Mr. Cullen?" I flutter my eyelashes, flirting with him.
He laughs, "I guess I am."
"Mmmm… I might have to think about it," I tease. His smile tells me he knows I'm kidding.
"I figured I'd bring you home then go pick up Masen," Edward says, stopping in front of my house. "This way there'll be no distractions."
"Distractions?"
Instead of answering, he motions for me to stay put, then comes around the vehicle to open the car door for me. Taking my hand, he helps me out, then leads me up the sidewalk to my front door.
"If Masen was waiting in the car, I wouldn't be able to take my time doing this." His hand on my chin, he pulls me closer, capturing my lips in his. I'm only startled for a moment before I eagerly kiss him back. His kisses are still sweet, but much less tentative than last night.
Edward pulls away before we can really get into it, but I'm still breathless. We stand inches apart, staring into each other's eyes. I don't see any hesitation in his.
"Yes."
"To what?" he asks, sounding confused.
"That second date."
A/N: So, of course Bella had to see what Edward wanted. She got her wish and it was good news! They're going to give dating a try! How are we feeling now?
Next update on Monday!