Set during 7x01 "The Day Will Come When You Won't Be."

We fight every night for something
When the sun sets we're both the same
Half in the shadows
Half burned in flames
We can't look back for nothing
Take what you need, say your goodbyes
I gave you everything
This darkness is the light
"Beautiful Crime" – Tamer

Chapter 13 — This Darkness is the Light

Amelia had her bandaged hands in her lap as she sat in the back of the same van that the Saviors used to bring her and the others to the clearing. Dwight was standing beside her, holding the crossbow in his arms. Mia wanted to check on Maggie, but she knew that they wouldn't let her and she couldn't push her luck. Negan never made empty threats.

She looked up when the RV rolled into the clearing. There was still some concern that Negan had killed Rick, but Mia let out a sigh of relief when he fell out of the RV. Dwight grabbed her arm and pulled her forward as Negan dragged Rick over to their group, dropping him onto his stomach. Rick got to his knees before looking up and over at Mia. She gave him a sad smile when their eyes met. Mia looked at Negan next and found that he was already watching her, his lips twitching with excitement.

"Come here, Amelia," Negan said as he gestured towards himself. She hesitated for a moment, but walked over to him. He grabbed one of her hands and inspected the bandages on her wrists. It didn't make sense. His touch was too delicate for a monster. He seemed to accept the work and let go of her hand before meeting her gaze. She wondered why such handsome features were wasted on such a miserable human being. He pointed to the spot in front of Rick and she wanted to smack the grin off his face. "Kneel, Amelia."

She fought her urge to voice her opinions and did as he said. She tried to give Rick a reassuring smile when their gazes found each other, but it wasn't enough. Negan walked around to Rick's side. "Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?"

Negan put Lucille an inch from Mia's face when Rick didn't answer. She stared at Negan and he allowed her see the truth in his expression. He wasn't going to kill her. Not then. Not there. Rick couldn't see that, though, and Negan used it to his advantage. He was going to play on his feelings for her and his family. "Speak when spoken to!"

Rick looked at Mia and she gave him an encouraging nod. She wasn't going to die tonight, but that didn't mean her friends and family were safe. Mia didn't want Rick or anyone else to get hurt so he needed to cooperate. Rick dropped his head for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Okay."

"That trip was about the way you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand," Negan explained. Rick looked up at him and Negan smiled, obviously enjoying his little game. "But you're still looking at me the same fucking way… like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna fucking work. So," Negan started as he kneeled beside him, "do I give you another chance?"

Mia silently begged Rick to answer correctly. He met her gaze and her presence gave him the strength to nod faintly. "Yeah. Yes. Yes."

"Okay. All right," Negan said and stood up. "And here it is—the grand-prize game. What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day. Get some guns to the back of their heads."

Mia looked over her shoulder to see the Saviors obey their leader. Every one of her family and friends had a gun to the back of their head, including her. Negan's eyes trailed to Mia's slowly and flexed his jaw.

"No," Negan said, still staring at Mia. "Not her. I've got something else planned for Amelia."

The man standing behind her walked away and Negan gestured to everyone. "Get the guns level with their noses, so if you have to fire…" Negan imitated an explosion, making Mia flinch "…it'll be a real fucking mess."

"Kid," Negan said as he looked at Carl. He used a finger to motion to himself. "Right here,"

Mia glanced over her shoulder at Carl and looked back at Rick. He stared at her and she forced herself to mouth, "It's okay."

"Kid," Negan repeated. Mia pursed her lips into a thin line. "Now."

Carl got to his feet and walked over to Negan slowly. Meanwhile, the older man removed his belt from his waist.

"You a southpaw?" Negan asked.

"Am I a what?" Carl retorted angrily.

"You a lefty?"

"No," Carl answered.

"Good," Negan said before wrapping the belt around the kid's arm and tightening it. "That hurt?"

"No," Carl said as he glared up at Negan.

"Should," Negan told him. "It's supposed to."

Mia straightened her back when Negan pointed to the ground. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings."

Negan pulled the hat off his head and tossed it over his shoulder. He guided him to the ground and pushed him down onto his stomach while pulling his arm out beside him. Mia realized what he was going to do and bowed her head as she let out a heavy sigh. Rick was nearly crying when she looked into his eyes.

"Simon, you got a pen?" Negan asked.

"Yeah," the man answered and tossed it to him. Negan removed the cap with his mouth and kneeled beside Carl. Mia wet her lips… bit down hard on her lower lip… curled her fingers into a fist and dug her nails into her palms—anything to stop herself from doing something she'd regret.

"Sorry, kid," he said. "This is going to be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm. There you go. Gives you a little leverage."

When he finished, Mia saw that he had drawn a line across Carl's arm. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. But her anger… frustration… rage was building inside of her. She wasn't sure if she could control it much longer. Mia prayed that Negan wasn't going to do what she thought he was.

"Please. Please. Please, don't," Rick begged and Mia ran her hands over her thighs quickly. She hoped she wasn't shaking. "Please don't."

"Me?" Negan chuckled. "I ain't doing shit."

"No," Mia breathed.

"Rick, I want you to take your axe… cut your son's left arm off, right on that line," Negan instructed. Amelia gave him a swift glance and recognized the pompous expression that he had been holding back all along. He was savoring every minute of this. The fear gave him power. It made him happy, which made Mia sick to her stomach. "Now, I know. I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it or all these people are going to die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die… and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep you breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it."

"You don't have to do this," Michonne said from her spot behind Mia. The younger woman didn't have the strength to tell her friend that her pleas were worthless. She had to focus on controlling the emotions swirling around in her body. Michonne had to try, though. "We understand. We understand."

"You understand. Yeah," Negan said. Mia stared at the ground. She didn't want to risk meeting Negan's gaze. His smile would break through the wall she'd built and she'd lose control. "I'm not sure that Rick does. I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice—nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees—gives us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine. Probably. Rick," Negan said as he kneeled beside him. "This needs to happen now—chop, chop—or I will crush the little fella's skull myself."

"It can—it can—it can be me," Rick stuttered. He was crying by then. Mia could tell he'd never felt fear like that before. "It can be me. W—w—you can do it to me. I c—I can go with—with you."

Mia cursed to herself when an idea popped into her head. It was insane… it was dangerous… it was a Hail Mary. It was a sacrifice that she didn't want to give, but she had to.

"No. This is the only way," Negan said and stood up. "Rick… pick up the axe. Not making a decision is a big decision! You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing." He sighed. "Oh, my God. Are you going to make me fucking count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting. 3!"

"Please," Rick cried, causing Mia drop her head into her hands as her eyes filled with tears. Her heart was being torn in two different directions. "Please! It can be me! Please!"

"2!"

Mia pressed her palms to her forehead as she desperately tried to think of an alternative option. But nothing would stop this for sure. Nothing except her insane proposition. Her heart was banging against her ribs so hard it was almost painful.

For Rick.

For Carl.

"Please, don't do—" Rick started to say, but Negan kneeled beside him and slapped him. He grabbed his face. Negan's eyes were hardened now. He had no patience left. Negan wanted to end this.

"This is it," Negan said. Mia raked her fingers through her hair and dropped her hands from her face. She gave Carl and Rick one last glance and steeled herself for what she was about to do.

"Ahh!" Rick screamed as he grabbed the hatchet on the floor and placed a hand on top of his son's hand.

"1!"

"Stop!" Mia shouted so loud that her voice echoed through the woods. She stood up, shaking with anger and exhaustion. Negan turned around and looked at her with his eyebrow cocked. He wasn't surprised or curious. She knew he saw her intervention coming. "I"ll give you what you want."

"And what do you think it is that I want?" Negan asked. His amusement was plain to see.

"Me," Mia answered without doubt or hesitation and his smile slid back into place. "I'll go with you to the Sanctuary if you don't make him do this." She could see Rick shaking his head frantically, but she forced herself to ignore him and continued anyways. "I won't fight. I won't try to run. I'll stay with you willingly for a week."

"It's going to take more than that to stop this," Negan said after holding her gaze for a few infinitely long seconds. It appeared to take a lot of willpower for him to tear his eyes from Mia and look down at her boyfriend. "Go on, Rick. Chop away."

"Wait!" Mia demanded and Negan looked up at her with a small, handsome smile. She hated herself for noticing it. When she looked at him she had to remind herself that he was a monster. He was everything she hated come to life. She would not allow herself to forget that. "Two weeks. I'll stay with you for two weeks."

"Is that all Carl's arm is worth?" Negan said as he gestured to the kid. He knew exactly what he was doing. Bargaining in this situation was easy. He had everything to gain and she had everything to lose.

Mia looked down at Rick's son and smiled sadly when he met her eyes. She would do anything for Carl… even if it meant putting herself in danger. She glanced back up at Negan and sighed. "A month. I'll live with you for a month and I will do whatever you want to contribute while I'm there. Just please… please, stop this."

Negan held her gaze as he contemplated what she said. He smiled after a long moment and held out his hand. Mia clenched her jaw so tight that her teeth started to hurt and stepped over Carl's arm to take Negan's hand. She was shocked by his gentle touch and earnest eyes.

"Fine," Negan said and Mia believed him. "I accept your deal."

Negan walked past her and squatted beside Rick. "Your girlfriend might have saved you from this, but it doesn't change anything. You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" Rick nodded, but Negan grabbed his face and raised his voice. Even though Mia had stopped him, they were still walking on thin ice. It could break and send them all into deadly water. "Speak when you're spoken too! You answer to me. You provide for me."

"Provide for you," Rick repeated. Mia wrapped a hand over her stomach and ran her fingers over her lips as she watched the interaction between Rick and Negan. It was all she could do not to yell at him to stop. She had given him exactly what he wanted. Mia just wanted the monster to stop clawing at her friends and family.

"You belong to me, right?!" Negan asked with enough anger to make Mia flinch.

"Right," Rick answered.

"Right," Negan said. He let go of Rick's face and pointed at him. "That… is the look I wanted to see." Negan stood up and grabbed the axe from Rick's hand. "We did it… all of us, together… even the dead guys on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure. And then there's Amelia… who's going home with the guy who killed two of her friends and nearly made her boyfriend cut off his son's arm just to save them from some pain. That is true teamwork! Today was a productive fucking day! Now, I hope, for all your sake… that you get it now… that you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you, that is fucking over now." Negan chuckled. Mia hated him for it. "Ah. Dwight. Load him up."

Mia inhaled sharply when she saw he had pointed his bat at Daryl. Dwight obeyed and put him in the back of the van. Mia had nothing else to give in return for Daryl to stay. Negan lowered himself beside Rick. "He's got guts—not a little fucking bitch like someone I know. I like him. He's mine now.

But you still want to try something? 'Not today, not tomorrow.' 'Not today, not tomorrow?'" Negan emphasized and Mia clenched her fists at her sides. "I will fucking cut pieces off of… fuck's his name?"

"Daryl," Simon answered.

"Wow. That actually sounds right," Negan said with a chuckle. Mia nearly rolled her eyes, but quickly abandoned the urge. Negan missed absolutely nothing. "I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your fucking doorstep—or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me." Negan sighed as he stood up. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits! I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me. We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then… ta-ta."

Negan grabbed her by the arm. He pulled her too close to him and she knew she'd never been so defenseless in her life… never so vulnerable. But that didn't stop Amelia from denying him of this. She nearly sprained her wrist in her haste to distance herself from him. He was trying to lead her away, but licked his bottom lip into a forced smile when she fought against him. She lowered her voice. "Can I say goodbye?"

"And why would I let you do that?" Negan retorted impatiently. Mia swallowed the hesitation and met his eyes.

"Because you got what you wanted. You scared them into submission and I'm going with you. So, please, let me say goodbye."

Negan contemplated it for a long while before nodding. "Okay. Say goodbye. I'll be in the car, Amelia, but don't make me wait long."

"I won't," Mia told him.

She waited until he was in he was out of earshot to go to her people. She went to Maggie first. The woman had only been getting worse since the night began, and it showed. Mia kneeled before her and pulled her into a hug. The older woman hugged her back tightly and cried into her shoulder.

"I'll be back soon and then we'll find a way to fight, okay? We're going to fight this," Mia said as she pulled back and grabbed Maggie's face gently. She was whispering. They were still surrounded by sharks waiting to eat them alive. "Don't give up hope, okay? We'll make him pay for what he's done. Just… don' lose hope."

Mia kissed her on the forehead and rested her forehead against Maggie's. "I'll be back."

She dropped her hands from Maggie's face and looked around at the rest of the group. Michonne held out a hand towards Mia and she took hold of it firmly. She spoke to the whole group when she spoke again. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save them. I'm so sorry."

Mia went to Carl next. He was kneeling by then, but the belt was still on his arm. She didn't have to ask for a hug; he wrapped his arms around her without hesitation and she was grateful. Mia hugged him back.

"You didn't have to do that," Carl said.

"Yes, I did," Mia sighed. She let go of him and leaned back as she placed her hands on his shoulders. He might not be her son, but he was family. "I will always protect you, Carl. I will always protect my family… no matter the cost."

"Thank you," Carl told her as she dropped her hands from his shoulders.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Mia said with a forced smile and Carl nodded. She hoped he couldn't see the hesitation in her eyes. She didn't want to leave any of them.

Mia moved in front of Rick next and studied his face as he stared back at her. "I couldn't just sit by and let him do that to you or Carl. I had to do something and going with him was the only thing I knew would work."

Rick took her hand and nodded. "I know. I wish it didn't have to happen, but… thank you, Mia."

"I'll try to look out for Daryl, okay?" Mia offered him a sad smile after he acknowledged what she said. Mia leaned forward and gave him a short hug before kissing him and Rick kissed her back just as desperately. When they parted, Mia kissed him on the cheek and hugged him one last time. She hoped they wouldn't have to wait an entire month to see each other again, but neither of them knew what the future held. "I love you, Rick. Hold onto that."

When she heard a car horn sound she sighed and stood up. She gave her family and friends a fleeting glance and went to the big black truck parked nearby. Negan was already sitting in the driver's seat and he gestured to the passenger side seat. Mia opened the door and hopped inside. She watched her family start to move around from their spots as Negan drove away.

She convinced herself they would be fine without her. But would she be able to survive the next month without them?

Mia rode in the front of the car with Negan, but he had Simon duct tape her legs and hands together. The bag over her head was another precaution she assumed. When the car finally did come to a stop, she heard several doors open and then hers. Someone turned her body in the seat before cutting the tape around her ankles and knees. The same person picked her up and set her down outside the car. They guided her to an unknown destination without so much as a sigh. When Simon removed the bag, she was in a fully decorated room. It had a bed, nightstands, lamps, a table, chairs, a television, a wardrobe, and an attached kitchen. It looked like a normal person lived there.

"Give me your hands," Simon said and Mia obliged. He cut the tape and unbound her hands before giving her a wide smile. "Negan will be here soon, but he said to make yourself at home."

"Is this his…" Mia started to ask as she surveyed the room again, but stopped short when she felt a prick on her neck. She faced Simon slowly and lifted a hand to the spot the needle pricked her. The older man caught her when she fell forward a moment later, her knees buckling. Her head was spinning. She tried to shake the nausea from her body, but that only made it worse.

"Don't worry," Simon told her as she weakened against him. He was the only thing holding her up by then. "You're just going to take a little nap."

Mia wanted to speak, but it felt like her mouth was bolted shut. She forced her eyes open again every time they fluttered shut, but despite fighting the drug's effects repeatedly it was less than a ten seconds later when she fell into darkness.

It took hours for her to open her eyes. Her head was heavy. Her vision was blurry. She could feel the faint panic bubbling in her chest. Mia tried to rub her eyes, but the weight on her arms and legs made it impossible. There were metal cuffs locked onto her wrists and ankles. The chains were bolted to the concrete floor, holding her to the chair. She yanked on them. Once. Twice. Nothing.

Mia looked around the room where she was being held, fighting to remember how she got there. It was a large room. Four brick walls. Concrete floor. One long window running along the ceiling that informed her the day had turned into night. The table pushed against the wall was covered with rusted pipes and sheets of metal. Abandoned projects were scattered the room. It looked like an old garage.

"How are you feeling?"

She hurt her neck when she snapped her head around. Negan walked through the door and into view. She hated his pompous, self-satisfied strut. Mia would give anything to break the grin off his face.

Suddenly, the memories from the night in the woods burned a hole in her heart. Glenn and Abraham's faces drifted into her mind. She remembered being in a room and Simon drugging her. Then nothing.

Negan studied her face. "I was worried for a moment."

Mia narrowed her eyes at him and he slowed to a stop in front of her. She tried to control her breathing. Negan sat down in the chair facing Mia and sighed. "I want you to join us."

"What?" Mia asked, incapable of masking her surprise.

"We're in a war against the dead. We need people like you on our team. Maybe you can help us start to rebuild the world," Negan said, slightly impatient.

"You—"

"You let your emotions cloud your judgment and dictate your actions. I know what you're capable of, Amelia. I know what you've done and I know what you could do if you just opened yourself up to the endless possibilities I can offer you," Negan said, pausing just long enough for Mia to start to fumble for the right words. "Together, we could be unstoppable."

When she struggled to respond Negan's lips curled into a knowing smile. Mia hated his smile. She pursed her lips into a thin line and let out a steady breath. "You are the most ignorant person I have ever met if you think you could ever make me join your band of serial killers. I would never do that willingly."

Negan ignored her. "If you accept my offer, you'll live like I do. You will become one of us and cease being one of them. Your life could change drastically."

"And when I don't accept?" Mia asked

"I am only trying to help you, Amelia," Negan sighed.

"You're lying," she responded without any hesitation. She knew there had to be something else. Something he wanted from her.

"To most people," Negan told her. His own admission. "But never to you."

"I don't want to be here. I don't want to join you here. As soon as my debt is paid, I am gone," Mia explained in a sharp voice.

"I need you and I think you need me," Negan continued after rubbing his face.

"You need me to help you intimidate people," Mia replied. "You want me to help you kill."

Negan laughed quietly. "I think you know that I don't need your help to kill people. I can do that on my own. I'm actually quite good at it."

"You're a monster," Mia murmured under her breath.

"I'm not as cruel as you think, Amelia," Negan said, unaffected by what she said. "I'm just doing the job that no one else has the fucking balls to do."

"I hope you burn in hell, you twisted son of a bitch."

Negan smiled and laughed. "So much passion." He looked so calm yet so amused. "But you should watch what you say to me."

"Or what?" Mia asked. "What are you going to do? Torture me? Kill me?"

"No," Negan answered, smirking again. "Not you."

The whistle that Negan gave next was a signal, no doubt, and a moment later Mia's heart dropped to her stomach. Daryl was dragged into the room, barely able to stay on his feet. His clothes had been changed into matching sweatpants and sweatshirt. There was an orange A spray-painted onto the shirt. The older man was still filthy, covered in grime and sweat, but he wasn't bleeding, which gave Mia little solace. Not all wounds are visible to the naked eye.

"What are you doing with him?" Mia asked Negan, focusing on keeping her expression free of any telling emotions. If he sensed weakness, he might pounce. And with Daryl present, she couldn't risk her hatred sparking something else entirely.

"He's here to teach you a lesson," Negan answered and the man who delivered Daryl threw him to the ground in front of the Mia. "I will never hurt you, Mia." She stiffened when he walked behind her. She could feel his breath on her neck. His lips lingered by her ear. "But every time you disobey me or just plain piss me off, Daryl will be punished."

Mia met Daryl's gaze. "You—"

Negan must have signaled the man standing behind Daryl because he punched him square in the jaw. He hit Daryl three more times before he went back to his original position, like the trained dog he was. Mia yanked on her chains and begged Negan to stop the beating. A part of her thought he wouldn't dare kill Daryl. But he had killed Glenn and Abraham without hesitation. Negan didn't value Daryl's life. He would kill him in a heartbeat given the right reason. Mia wasn't going to be the one to deliver it to Negan. She was going to have to bury her anger and contempt in a place where no one could reach them.

"I hope we have an understanding," Negan said as he stepped back into view. He ran his fingers down the length of her arm and rested his hand on hers. Mia met his gaze and exhaled slowly, forcing herself to turn to steel.

"We do," she told him.

I will bide my time… and one day I will turn your kingdom to ash, is what she didn't tell him. I will be the perfect prisoner.

A/N: Sorry for any mistakes! Let me know your thoughts on the chapter! Thanks for reading!