Chapter 17: "Goodbye"
"I try to face the fight within,
But it's over.
I'm ready for the riot to begin,
And surrender.
I walked the path that led me to the end,
Remember...
I'm caught beneath, with nothing left to give
Forever..."
~ Breaking Benjamin 'Angels Fall'
The tension between the four of them was quickly interrupted as the sounds of horror they had already once encountered cut through their hearts.
Someone was maybe thirty feet from them and getting closer and closer to where they were...
...bullets from their gun flying in almost every direction.
Their reaction was immediate. Clove felt a strong hand grab her arm and pull her along further into the woods. She glanced to the side and saw Cato right by her side, his big frame covering her as they ran. He was yelling something but she couldn't hear. She could only see his lips moving as his hand closed even tighter around her upper arm. Despite all the shock she herself was experiencing, she didn't fail to notice the utter horror covering Cato's face as he looked around frantically searching for the source of the trouble they were in. Bullets were flying all around them and it was a miracle no one had yet been hit. Clove glanced at Cato again and saw him looking over his shoulder and yell something she couldn't hear. It was as if once again someone turned the sound off. Then she felt him pull her arm so hard he almost ripped it out of its socket. He had her falling onto the ground and she hit it hard with a gasp. Before she could even try to get herself up, she felt a body right beside hers and a strong hand pulling her head down. She managed to glance to the side and saw a panting Cato beside her.
Out of the blue she was able to hear everything that was going on around them and it frightened her like never before. Screams and multiple guns going off was all that filled her ears.
"Don't get up." she heard Cato's voice talking to her and she nodded. Funny. A couple of days back she'd have ripped his head off for telling her what to do especially when it was obvious she was not going to get up when there were bullets flying all over the Goddamn place. She couldn't believe it but while they lied on the ground like that next to each other, all she could think of was whether Katniss and Rue were stll alive. She wasn't even sure anymore why she even cared. Before she'd been telling herself that it was for the rule. Then she told herself it was to piss off Snow. But were those her reasons really? She had no idea who she was anymore. She had no idea how she felt.
After a short while, the sounds of shooting slowly died down and awful, horrid silence filled the air.
"Stay down." Cato whispered to her and she knew it was an order. His face wore an ugly, furious grimace and his eyes were filled with blood lust. He had his sword at the ready as he walked away from her. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't just let him go out there by himself to get shot. Trembling slightly she ignored his wish and pulled herself up on all fours, wincing; now she could really feel how hard she'd hit the ground earlier. She felt something warm and sticky on her hand and looked down; blood was covering her palm and was dripping down to her wrist. She wiped her hand on her pants and helped herself up by putting her other hand on the trunk of the tree beside her.
Nasuea almost overwhelmed her as she stood up but she ignored it because she had to get to him. She had to make sure he was fine. Clove looked around in search of his big posture and his messy blond hair but he was nowhere to be seen. Neither were Rue and Katniss. And then she heard some yelling and sounds of struggling before yet again there were gun shots.
"Cato!" she screamed, unable to help herself. More shooting followed and she began running towards it like an idiot that had a death wish. But she didn't care. She had to get to him.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a movement that made her stop. She turned to it and her eyes widened when she saw a guy standing there with a gun pointed right at her heart. But he was not just a guy. She knew that face.
"Nigel...?" she whispered under her breath and behind that emotionless mask he was wearing she noticed a ghost of a human being cross his features for a split second at the mention of his name. And that was all it took. That was all the hesitation he was able to afford and it's what got him killed. Blood splittered all over the grass beneath his feet along with another gunshot as he fell limply to the ground with a thud. Clove gasped, looking down at him, his eyes still open as he struggled for breath. She looked up and saw Cato walking towards her with a rifle. He loaded it once more before stopping right next to Nigel. He pointed it at his head and ended his existance with another blast.
Clove flinched despite herself and glanced up at Cato, looking for any signs of regret on his face but there were none. She knew he recognized him. He knew exactly who that boy was. It didn't seem like it mattered to him at all. He picked up Nigel's gun that lied beside his body and walked over to her, offering it to her. Clove took it from him, blood from the wound on her palm almost made her lose grip on it. She quickly moved her hand back so that he wouldn't notice.
"Are you alright?" Cato asked her, his eyes checking her up and down for any wounds. "Did you get hit anywhere?'
"No." she whispered, looking past him and at Nigel's lifeless face. Nigel. Quiet, friendly Nigel. "What the hell was that?"
"They sent our friends from home to blow our heads off, that's what. Capitol doesn't give one shit about fair play and neither does our district, Clove." he said through gritted teeth and she glared at him. Was he trying to get them killed even faster?
"Please," he snorted when he noticed the way she was looking at him. "See what just happened? I don't think we can piss the Game Makers off any more than we already did."
Well, he did have a point. None of that mattered anymore. She glanced away from him and looked around in search of their allies but they were nowhere to be seen. "Where are they?" she asked, hoping for a quick answer. She didn't have it in her to actually say their names. Cato licked his lips and put his hand on the back of his head which was what he always used to do when he was bothered. It scared her that she knew that little fact about him.
"I don't know," he said with a sigh. "are you sure you're okay?"
She allowed herself to send him a small, assuring smile. "Yeah, I'm alright. You?"
"I'm good." he said dismissively as if he wanted to change the subject. "Let's go. Gun at the ready, little girl."
"Would you stop calling me that?" she demanded with another glare at his quite handsome face. Snap out of it, Clove. He laughed, making her smirk.
"Over my dead body, Cloves." he said before the smile on his face faded immediately and her own smirk followed. The possibility of that remark hit them both like bullets they'd just miraculously missed. Cato swallowed hard and looked down, unable to stomach the thought of one of them dying on the other. He needed to stay alive as long as he could to protect her; just long enough to not have to watch her die if that was what the Game Makers had planned for them. And he had a very good reason to believe it really could be their plan since they loved drama; nothing like a tearful goodbye between two most unexpected friends from a Career district.
"On the other hand," Clove whispered, making him glance up at her again at the sound of her soft voice. "you can call me that all you want."
They stared at each other for what seemed like a long while before his face broke into a warm smile she was probably seeing for the first time ever.
"I shall." he promised and she sent him a small smile in return. "We need to move. Come on... little girl."
She rolled her eyes before making sure her gun was loaded and ready to go. As Cato began heading back in the direction they'd come from, she felt nasuea start building up in the pit of her stomach as she watched his big form walking away.
Soon it will all be over.
Cato had a bad feeling about the Games this year and he knew exactly what was the reason; from day 1 of the 73rd Hunger Games his brother had been making the weirdest choices, starting from deciding not to ally with a single tribute and ending with focusing on surviving only. He hadn't killed anyone and it didn't look like he planned to, unless it'd be necessary. Cato couldn't understand what the hell he thought he was doing. Cade was the strongest tribute in the arena; he was the only one to score a 10 in the individual session and his odds of winning were the highest. Why the heck was he sneaking around the arena for four days now, refusing to hunt other tributes or do pretty much anything other than hiding. Something was seriously wrong. Cato didn't like it one bit.
This year's Games were pretty boring altogether which is why the Game Makers had probably decided to cut them short; it was day 4 and already there was only 5 tributes left. Only six died in the Bloodbath and Cato was sure that was because his brother had run away from it instead of allying with other Careers. Had he chosen to do the latter, he was sure half the tributes would have died on that very first day. He didn't expect for Cade to be so damn good at strictly surviving. Careers are not taught survival skills at the Academy simply because that is never their goal – they go into the Games to get as many supplies as they can and then hunt other tributes down. They don't need to know how to get food or how to go by unnoticed, how to stay in cover. How the hell was Cade so good at that?
Cato shifted uncomfortably, as he watched Cade cut his way through a field of thick bushes, trying to get to the nearest source of water there was. He saw Clove glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but he refused to look at her. She had been by his side since the Games had started and they watched his brother's attempts to survive together. They hadn't said a word to each other ever since he'd told her Cade was his brother. Ever since they had left that training room to walk to the Justice Building where the opening of Hunger Games always took place. She hadn't commented anything for those four days. Not a word, though Cato had a feeling there was a lot on her mind.
Cade finally made his way out of the bushes and just as he did, he came face to face with a tribute from District 12. Tall, skinny and dirty from head to toes, there he was, staring at Cade with horror filling his exhausted eyes. Cade looked startled for a total of three seconds before his features relaxed and he carried on walking without giving the other guy a second glance.
Cato stood up from the chair, eyes wide, mouth wide open. Clove also got up and they both stared at the TV for another few minutes, watching Cade casually eating an apple, while walking further and further away from an absolutely amazed tribute from 12.
"What the fuck does he think he's doing?" Cato hissed, his voice hoarse and husky. He couldn't believe it. Five people were left in the arena. Somehow that rat from District 12 was one of them and what had he done? He just walked away, letting him live? Did he not like to breathe?
Cato balled his hands into fists, making his knuckles turn white instantly, thinking there was only one explanation ; he was crazed. He never thought that he'd actually question his brother's sanity as mentally insane they both were anyway. But what did he think he was doing, walking away like that from the weakest tribute there was? He thought that after running away from the Bloodbath, Cade would not be able to shock him more than he had that first day. Well, he was wrong.
"Calm down." Clove whispered, noticing how his entire body had started to shake out of pure rage. Having heard her voice, he relaxed a little and glanced at her. "I'm just as confused as you, but there's nothing we can do about it, is there?"
"But doesn't that anger you at all?" Cato asked in disbelief. "Whatever he's doing is an embarrassment to our district."
"Yeah, it does make me furious in fact." Clove admitted, sitting back down. "It won't matter if he dies. And it won't matter if he lives either. Nobody will remember that. Chill out."
Cato furrowed his eyebrows; as much as he didn't want to admit that, she did have a point. If Cade won, and he couldn't see why he wouldn't, sure he'd be asked why he had chosen such an odd technique for a Career to win the Games but everyone would be so thrilled that they wouldn't question it too much. They'd admire his intelligence and amazing survival skills instead.
Cato let out a heavy breath and when he was about to sit back down beside Clove, he stopped. Because there she was, gaping at the screen with wide eyes, looking as if something really scared her. He frowned and looked at the TV in time to see his brother being approached by a lion.
A fucking lion. Twice the size of a regular lion, coming closer and closer to Cade with hunger shining in his wild eyes.
"Oh shit." Cato couldn't help but gasp, taking a few steps forward. Thank goodness Cade had a sword on him. But Cato couldn't help but swallow hard, watching the enormous animal. His brother's face grew pale but he did not freeze. And when the lion finally lunged, Cade had managed to reach for a knife and throw it at the beast before it had the chance to reach him. The lion didn't even squeal when the weapon stuck itself deep inside his neck. He jumped Cade who fell backwards with the wild animal on top of him basically crushing him; he didn't hesitate to grab on the handle of the knife he'd thrown immediately and dragged it across the entire lenght of its neck, making the lion's blood splitter all over him, drenching his clothes and painting his face dark red.
Cato clenched his fists so tight his fingernails cut open skin on the insides of his palms. He could sense Clove's eyes on him but ignored her, his own eyes plastered to the screen in front of him. He watched the lion still try to put up a fight even though it was bleeding heavily on top of struggling Cade who looked like a tiny kid underneath its big form. After a minute or two the lion had finally bled out and went limp. Before it collapsed on Cade with its full weight, he somehow found strenght to push him up enough to be able to roll to the side and avoid getting crushed by the beast.
He lied on his back for a long while, covered in blood and panting with his eyes closed. He didn't look like he was hurt anywhere, but Cato knew better; the lion had jumped him with full speed and slammed him down to the ground. His brother was awfully strong; but he still definitely got hurt. Cato could almost feel the pain himself, burning every bone in his body as he watched Cade roll over and try to stand up. His arms and legs were shaking violently as he took his time getting back on his feet.
Cato clenched his jaw hard; if the Game Makers wanted to weaken Cade as much as possible - they'd certainly succeeded. And he knew that whatever would come next, his brother was now ten times less likely to survive.
And judging by how much the Game Makers obviously wanted him gone... Cato'd lost all hope of ever seeing his brother again.
Clove was following Cato through the woods, looking around almost frantically in search of Rue and Katniss. She ignored that thick lump that she could feel growing in the back of her throat at the thought of her former allies dead. She didn't remember hearing any cannons but then again she could barely hear anything over the multiple gun shots cutting through the air everywhere around. So it was still very much possible that Katniss and Rue were no more. That they were gone. Just like Peeta. And Thresh.
Clove sucked in a breath as his face flew across her mind. That made Cato look at her over his shoulder with a frown. "You okay?"
"Yep." she nodded tightly, watching his eyes narrow suspiciously. She clenched her jaw and looked away, suddenly feeling so much rage. She was furious. With everything around. With the Games. With her life. With the fact she could actually feel so many different things she didn't even know existed before. Living like this was so much harder; being capable of feeling things. Worrying about others. Grieving. Those weren't things she was familiar with back in her district. Back when she was just a trainee in the Acadamy. Back when she didn't even care about Cato. Not even a little bit. Clove wondered if she'd have changed the same way had Cato been the only one to go into the arena. Would she have started caring for him then? Maybe she would have simply watched him die with her careless, emotionless eyes and moved on. What if she was the only one to go in the arena and Cato would have to watch her fight for her life in the Games? But that would have been different; because now Clove knew very well that, as much as she was clueless about it before, Cato has always cared for her. She remembered seeing it in his eyes when they were both picked to be District 2 tributes this year. This utter shock and pure fear filling his eyes as he watched her joining him on that stage with the rest of the Acadamy glaring up at them. She didn't understand it too much back then. But now she was more than capable of putting all those seemingly unimportant puzzles together.
She instantly remembered so many other times Cato showed her he cared. All those times he'd actually smile at her. All those times concern would cross his features when he thought he'd hit her too hard. All those times he waited for her at night so they could train together. She couldn't believe how completely blind she was. How evil of a person she was. Cold-hearted. But most all all, she couldn't believe that Cato was the better one. Cato was the one who almost died for her twice by now. Cato was the one who would sacrifice himself for her again and again if he had to. Cato was the smart one who had figured out that his affections towards her had been noticed by Game Makers and that was why he'd stopped training with her until Cade went in the Games. He was trying to protect her. That was him trying to avoid both of them ending up in this Godforsaken arena together.
Clove gasped when she suddenly walked into Cato's chest, realizing she must have really gotten herself lost in all those thoughts she had. She took a step back and looked up at his concerned face, feeling something huge drop to the pit of her stomach when she saw everything that Careers were supposed to lack in those blue eyes of his. "Are you all right?" he asked again, making her look away. "What's the matter?"
Clove almost laughed; what was the matter? Was he for real? Like he didn't know what was likely about to happen to one of them. Like he didn't know that everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. This was certainly not how all of this was supposed to be. They were supposed to be ruthless. Vicious. They were supposed to kill all those kids in the arena with crazed smirks on their evil faces. They were supposed to fight each other to become the victor and bring pride to their district like they had been trained to do all their fucking lives. How did this happen? How did they end up like this? Fury filled her body as she felt hot blood boiling in her veins; she wanted to cut that concerned expression right off of his face with one of her knives.
"Don't look at me like that." she snapped through gritted teeth. So angry. So confused. So lost. "Stop looking at me like that!"
"Like what?" Cato asked with furrowed eyebrows and it only made her even more enraged. She lunged forward and pushed him hard. And when that didn't seem to have the desired effect she was seeking, she began hitting his chest with her clenched fists. He flinched, taken by surprise. His hands shot up to grab hers as he snapped at her to quit it. But she couldn't. She lost herself. She was insane. She had finally snapped.
"Stop it, damn you!" Cato yelled, squeezing her wrists hard enough to leave bruises. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Clove?!"
"Fuck you!" she cried out, continuing to attack him any way she could until he finally had had enough. He pushed her hard against the nearest tree, making her eyes go wide as all oxygen left her lungs at the impact. She looked up and in his eyes and fear squeezed her heart; because now he looked just as crazed and mad as she felt. It was frightening. Everything she thought he wasn't anymore seemed to have come back at the same time. His eyes cold and vicious. His hands rough and hurting her. He looked ready to kill her. She knew it. And as panicked as she felt, she almost smiled with relief.
"Do it."
Cato was panting, his jaw clenched, his eyes filled with hatred. And she was sure he knew what she meant. She was also sure he was actually considering it. That piece of him that he had hidden somewhere deep inside was definitely thinking about finishing her.
"Just do it, Cato." she dared him. "Go ahead." she encouraged him even more, choking back tears of pain and exhaustion. "Just kill me."
He swallowed hard and she felt his hands start shaking slightly but he still refused to let go of her, his fingers continuing to bruise her.
"Get this over with already." Clove continued, but her voice was now quiet. Soft. Tired. "You don't have to die in here. You can still win. You could go home."
Cato's eyes grew big suddenly and he let go of her quickly as if she was on fire. He took a step back, gaping at her like a ghost of himself that he felt he was. Her eyes begged him to proceed, still. She wanted him to end her life. She wanted him to put an end to all this. Did she really think he had it in him to harm her? To take her life? To take life of the one person in the entire world he'd die for? Did she really think she'd make him do this and get off so easily? While he would have to spend the rest of his pathetic life, grieving and hating himself?
Or maybe she simply didn't want to be the one to have to mourn for him.
"It's not home, Clove," he rasped in a tone that made her think he'd crack any second. "it's not home if you're not there."
She grew even whiter on the face once she heard those words stabbing her heart like the knives she loved so much. He wouldn't give in. Ever. Not if she begged. Not if she attacked him herself. He wouldn't allow her the pleasure of going first. He wouldn't end her pain.
"Cato..."
"Nice try, little girl." he cut her off, glaring at her ever so slightly with his bloodshot eyes. "What, were you trying to drive me so insane I'd wanna get rid of you? It's a little too late for that, Clove. I think we're both already as insane as it gets."
She licked her trembling lips and just continued to stare at him like she'd die if she turned her eyes away.
"I'm scared." she whispered and her own words terrified the shit out of her. What did she just let slip? Truth was... she was petrified. Afraid of what would come next. Afraid of how she'd changed. Afraid of what it meant. She was scared the rest of the tributes were all gone. Rue. Katniss. She was dying inside; why could he not just switch back to his old self and finish her off? She was already dead. If he killed her now, as heartlessly as possible, he still had a chance of erasing all the mistakes they'd made. She knew he was strong enough to do it. He could kill her and win the Games and survive. She, on the other hand, could not. She didn't want to. She would never be able to...
"I'm scared too."
His husky voice made her heart stop for a few seconds. Had she not caught his lips moving, she'd have never believed that Cato said that. But he did.
Making his way slowly towards her, he pulled her small, aching body off and away from the trunk of the tree and held her close to him. His hand placed itself on the back of her head and he buried his cheek in the mass of her hair. Clove squeezed her burning eyes and grabbed onto him, praying for something, anything to kill them as they were. She wanted to die with him right there and then. She could not bear the thought of losing him. Ever.
Clove knew it was highly unlikely for one of them to win anyway and she took comfort in that. Being crowned the Victor was now the very last thing she wanted.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you." Clove heard him say in pained voice as he began to release his grip on her. She shook her head and held on, refusing to let go of him. He obeyed.
"It's just us now." she breathed against his chest and he let out an exhausted breath.
"Yeah." he nodded. "It's just us."
Cato sat in the training room by himself, as it was already long after his group's session, but he couldn't find it in himself to move. He sat there, staring at all the swords lied out in front of him, his eyes red and glistening. He was so tired. He hadn't slept more than an hour at a time for about a month now. He didn't know what to do with himself; he just wanted to go to sleep and never have to face another day again.
"Hey."
Her voice brought him back to reality and his head shot up. There she was, standing in the doorway and looking at him almost softly. He frowned; that was a first.
"Hi." He whispered, watching her approach him, still in her training clothes as well. He guessed she'd missed dinner with their mentors, too. Enobaria and Brutus probably hated their guts by now; they never did what they were supposed to. "What are you doing here?"
"Just walking around, I'm bored." she said, sending him a half-smirk. "what are you doing?" she asked, her faint smirk quickly fading and he figured he was seeing things, because there was no way he just saw a ghost of concern cross her stern face.
He didn't want to tell her what he was doing here. First of all, it was none of her business. Secondly… he already looked weak as it was, just sitting here and moping. He didn't want to make it even worse by letting her find out what he was thinking.
"Nothing; just resting for a minute. I wanted to train longer."
Clove nodded slowly and he knew she didn't buy that. But she didn't say anything else. She just sat down beside him with a heavy sigh, her arm brushing his making him freeze for a split second. She then looked around, probably to see if they were alone. "Well, mind if I sit with you for a minute? Then we can train some more together if you like."
He glanced at her, frowning; he didn't know what her deal was but it was sort of frightening. Clove was basically being friendly to him. As in - on purpose. He had no idea what had gotten into her; maybe he'd actually fallen asleep and was now dreaming this.
"Sure…" he drawled, looking away because he had no intention of asking her what it was she was trying to do. He could only hope that she wouldn't be able to read his mind.
After a moment of silence, Cato looked at her again but she was no longer focused on him; she was dragging her eyes from one station to another, possibly wondering where she'd want to start training first. He watched her for a little while until she realized his eyes were on her and their stares met. Cato looked her deeply in the eyes, looking for any signs of pity or understanding because if he found either one of those he'd know she had figured out the reason he was still here, lonely and pathetic. But she just furrowed her eyebrows and sent him a questioning look which, in a way, was odd as well, because normally Clove would've glared at him for staring at her. She seemed quite careless and … warm, though. Like a whole new person. He continued to look at her and an old memory hit him like a brick.
The night before the Games last year. The memorable night hours before the 73rd Hunger Games' Bloodbath. The night he had dragged Clove out of bed at midnight and asked her to go training with him so he could take his mind off of his brother's possible death. The night he had told her Cade was his family. He remembered how taken aback she seemed once he had confessed that; how she never said a word, but how he managed to take comfort in her presence alone. How she decided to sit down beside him, her arm brushing his so lightly he thought he'd imagined it but at the same time he knew that this was all she was capable of doing to let him know she understood.
Cato could feel his face turning white as he experienced the most weird Déjà vu in his life.
She knew. She knew why he was here. She knew he couldn't stand the thought that this horrible place was where his brother had spent the very last few days of his life. That this place was where he had spent hours training for the Games that in the end killed him. He couldn't stand how he was now stuck here himself, because now that he finally made it as District 2 tribute, he couldn't believe he had wanted that so bad all his life. And as he held Clove's gaze, he knew she could basically read all that from his face. She knew every reason for why he was sitting here all by himself, deep in his thoughts.
He never talked about Cade; not once, not a word since the day he had been killed. He thought of him often but he never, ever mentioned him after he'd died. This was yet another time where he was not going to mention his name; there was no point. Saying his name out loud would only throw him over the edge that he'd been trying to balance himself upon ever since he heard their trainer call out Clove to the stage as she became his fellow tribute in the Games. That was the last thing he could afford; losing that last bit of sanity that he hoped would help him somehow get through the next couple of weeks. Today was their first training day and he already felt like he couldn't take any more.
"I'm hungry." Clove suddenly blurted out and he blinked fast as their intense, silent moment was abruptly interrupted. "I'm gonna go upstairs and stuff my face. Wanna come? We can reschedule our training for tomorrow."
Cato's eyes widened a little and all the answer he was capable of in that moment was a tight nod. She ignored how caught off guard he seemed to be and swiftly got back on her feet before looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. He glanced up at her with a frown, but said nothing. He simply got up and followed her out of the training room, surprisingly feeling lighter and lighter with every step he took.
Clove had no idea how long they just stayed like that, tangled in each other's arms, grasping onto one another for comfort. For all they knew, this could be the last time they were this close. This could be their last peaceful moment. And they wanted to drink it in as much as they possibly could.
Cato breathed into her scent, pressing his cheek against her hair and feeling her arms tighten their embrace. This was it. This was their last chance for a proper goodbye. The Game Makers would not allow them another one. They were now busy creating another beast to rip them both apart so all those clowns in the Capitol can have a good show.
"You're shaking." Clove murmured against his chest suddenly and he sucked in a breath. She unwrapped her arms from around his torso and stepped back. "Why are you shaking?"
He didn't answer. She stared at him long and hard before glancing down and to her horror, she realized her hands were wet and sticky. "Oh my God." she gulped, looking up at him with tears pooling in her eyes. Before he could react, she was already unzipping his jacket. She gasped and slapped her hand across her mouth when she noticed the front of his shirt that was drenched in blood. "You got shot."
He shook his head as if to deny but how could he? She could see the injury. "Oh my God, did I-" she almost cried out.
"No." he told her sternly, grabbing her shoulders. "You didn't do this." he said, because he knew what she was referring to. She thought she'd hurt him even worse when she flipped out on him, hitting him and pushing him. A lonely tear crawled its way out of her eye and rolled down her cheek as she breathed heavily. Her shaking hands reached up as she tried to investigate the wound but he caught them in his. "It's nothing, Clove. I'm gonna be fine."
"What do you mean it's nothing? You got shot, we need to dress the wound." she argued, trying to get her hands free. He was already starting to look sweaty and unwell. She needed to help him. But before she managed to do anything, they heard footsteps approaching them from a few feet away. They both retrieved their guns immediately and were now aiming them at whomever it was that apparently thought it was wise to try and surprise them.
Little did they know, they ended up staring at the only two people they would never shoot. Because right there in front of them was Katniss. And right next to her, holding the Fire Girl's hand was little Rue.
Clove let out a sigh of relief and lowered her gun. "You guys need to cut this out." she snapped, referring to all those times Katniss and Rue just appeared places, startling her. "What do you have, a death wish?"
"You're the Careers, Clove." Katniss stated, sounding a little amused. Clove just glared. Point taken, Fire Girl. "Are you guys okay?" the brunette asked before noticing Cato's bloody shirt. Her eyes grew bigger and she approached him quickly, taking off her backpack. "I got the first aid kit in here."
"No need." Cato said, holding up his hand as he gazed down at Katniss who was now going through the backpack looking for bandages. She glanced up at him with a frown, her hand buried inside, unmoving.
"Yes need." Clove argued, nodding her head towards Katniss to encourage her search. "We need to dress that wound, Cato."
"Clove, you know it doesn't matter." he sighed and his voice sounded so resigned and hopeless she almost flinched. They gaped at each other for a long while before he looked away and only then did he notice the four of them had company. "Who's that guy?"
Clove spun around, startled once more, and furrowed her eyebrows at the small, thin, brown-haired boy with scared eyes.
"He's from district 3." Rue informed them. "His partner was killed in the shooting. He's the only one left."
Clove narrowed her eyes at the boy who looked terrified enough without her stare intimidating him even more. She then glanced to Cato and for a second she could swear she saw this lethal fire cross his face; that fire she had seen so many times back in the Academy. And she knew that for a split second, the thought of killing them all as they stood crossed his tired mind. Just for a second, though.
"What's your name?" Cato asked, surprising everyone and himself the most, probably. Why did he even care?
"Raff." the boy murmured under his breath, possibly shocked that he was still alive since he'd stumbled across the two most lethal tributes in the arena. Cato doubted that Katniss and Rue had had the chance to tell him they were actually arena buddies.
"So you're from 3?" Cato asked rhetorically, but the boy nodded anyway. "You know things about using electronics, is that right?"
Raff looked taken aback and his eyes jumped to Rue before they landed on Cato once more. "Uh... yes."
Clove's and Cato's stares met and she frowned as she watched the expression his face held. She really did know him well. She didn't even have to ask him. She knew.
Cato had just come up with a plan.
"Hey."
Clove glanced up from her gun and at Katniss approaching her. "Hey." she whispered back, a little surprised and confused as to why the other girl was looking for a one-on-one conversation. Katniss made sure no one was listening before squatting next to her, her face expressing anxiety and doubt. "What?" Clove asked, looking her in the eyes. The brunette bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder one more time before returning her stare.
"I got Cato to let me dress his wound." she said. Clove frowned, not only surprised with the fact she'd managed to convince Cato to anything, but also because she must have cared enough to come by and let her know about it.
"Um," she looked away. "Okay... Thanks."
She saw her nod out of the corner of her eye as she continued to load the gun. Katniss still wasn't moving. And Clove knew the brunette wasn't done as much as she hoped she'd go away. But there was something else.
"Look, Clove..." she began annoyingly slow which made Clove raise her eyebrows impatiently. "We've been on the same team since day 1 and while I know it doesn't mean much now..." she said referring to how they were no longer allies by rules. "I trust you enough to say this."
Clove's curiosity was replaced with a new feeling; astonishment. She even paused her current activity and rested her elbows on her thighs, letting Katniss know she had her undivided attention. "Say what?"
As for the girl on fire, she certainly lacked fierceness in that particular moment. She swallowed hard as she mentally tried to prepare herself for what she was about to choke out: "Do you actually believe that we're safe around Cato?"
The question hit Clove hard and suddenly like an unexpected wave from a seemingly peaceful ocean. She opened her mouth to snap something not too pleasant back at the other girl, but she didn't get that chance. "Listen, I know he's your district partner and I know he saved your life, like he saved mine too." she confessed as the memory of Cato throwing the blood-thirsty wolf off of her flashed before her eyes. She ignored how shocked Clove seemed to be and continued: "But there's only five of us left now. And the rules are no more. There's about a dozen things that could go wrong during the plan he came up with. So I'm asking you, as a fellow tribute in the Games that are going to kill all of us except for one," she paused for a brief moment. "do you believe we're safe?"
Clove stared at her with her eyes slightly widened. As much as she wanted to slap Katniss for daring to suggest such betrayal, deep inside she knew she could not blame her for doubting Cato's judgement and behavior. She shot a quick look his way and saw him talking to Raff and Rue listening to their conversation with a serious face. She suddenly grew anxious as an uneasy feeling filled her stomach, making her want to vomit.
Katniss was right doubting Cato and the plan and everything else, for that matter. In fact, Clove was very much surprised that she and Rue had actually decided to stick around; she truly would not have blamed them if they had left as soon as Claudius's voice had confirmed the inevitable. She couldn't blame her for having such thoughts. And besides, there was no way Katniss knew anything about how their district truly works. How could she? This was her first time outside of 12. All she knew about district 2 was that they train Careers to come and kill people like her in the Games. She couldn't possibly realize what the fact that she and Cato had decided not to kill them after the announcement truly meant. But Clove still hoped she was smart enough to at least put two and two together.
Clove looked back in Katniss' eyes with much less hostality this time as understanding and resignation took its place. "Katniss, please tell me you're not this naive." she murmured in a hushed voice, successfully catching the other girl off guard. "You really don't get it?"
"Get wh-"
"Come on," Clove huffed, cutting her off. "I had hoped you'd have at least figured this one out, Fire Girl." she purposely used the nickname that Careers had been using on the daily basis before the Games started. "Cato and I are Careers, do you know what that means? I'll tell you - it means that the minute the new rule was called off, we were obligated to kill you. Both of you."
Katniss blinked fast as if Clove just delivered some serious news that she had no idea about before.
"And then, Katniss," Clove continued. "we were supposed to kill each other. Or keep up our little alliance and finish off the rest just to try murdering the other later on, anyway. Those are the rules. That's what the Game makers wanted us to do. And I know you know that. I saw the look on your face when the rule was revoked. I saw the way you looked at us." she said, referring to Cato and herself. Clove could still remember the fear that had consumed both, Katniss and Rue as Claudius' emotionless and excited voice echoed in their ears. She could still see their scared and anxious faces as if it happened a few minutes earlier. She memorized their expressions because what she could see right then on their faces... was exactly how she felt on the inside. But she was not able to show it; she had always wanted to appear fearless and insurmountable. She had imagined herself as the greatest victor of all times. She now knew she would never be that person; the way Thresh's voice had her curled up on the ground in terror was just one of many proofs.
Clove squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment before glancing to Cato once more.
"Katniss, Cato and I are already dead, don't you understand?" Clove had to stop herself from snapping too loud. Because she hated how she knew she was one hundred percent right. And she hated the fact she knew she was not allowed to say it out loud but didn't even care anymore. "We have broken every single rule there was to break in the book. Take a second to think what that means for me and him." she hissed, her eyes narrowing dangerously at the other girl. "There's no going back for us. We can't win. And even if one of us did, they would kill us anyway sooner or later because we failed our district on every possible level."
"We're doomed, Katniss." Clove added, landing her eyes on Cato again. "I know it and he knows it. So just to answer your questions; do I believe we're safe around Cato? I have no doubt we are. He's the one with the bullet in his body." she paused to swallow and glanced back at Katniss. "Do I believe we're safe in general? No, Katniss. We aren't. It doesn't matter who's going to live. Nobody ever wins the Games. Of all people, you should've realized that much."
And with that she stood up and left Katniss sitting there with a look of pure consternation on her face.
"All set?"
Raff got back on his feet with a heavy breath, looked all around for a brief moment before glancing up at Cato. "Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." the district 3 boy confirmed with a nod and it was never easier for Cato to actually trust someone. He didn't really have a choice after all. He had to believe that that little boy wanted to survive and in order to do that, he had to do his absolute best with this job.
"All right." Cato sighed before turning to look at the girls. "Do you guys need me to go through the plan with you once more?"
"Think we got it." Katniss said.
"I wish that you were sure you got it."
"Oh we're sure." Rue assured him with a smile and it took everything in him not to smile back at how confident and brave that little girl was.
"Okay." Cato nodded as his eyes glanced to Clove. "Got everything ready?"
She looked at him almost reluctantly; because she didn't want to see how pale and sweaty his face was. How all the fire was slowly dying in his eyes. She knew he was going. There was no way he'd last much longer; he had to be in so much pain it was impossible he could still act so calm. And yet there he was; strong and contained. "Yeah," she confirmed quietly. "it's all ready."
"Good." he stared at her for another brief moment before realizing this was the awkward moment he'd been putting off. "Okay, so... this is it." he announced, looking at Katniss and Rue. "If you guys wanna ... uh, say goodbye or something, then now's the time. But make it fast." he added as a desprate attempt to try and stay in character. It really didn't matter anymore, though. Everyone knew it didn't.
"Watch yourself." Katniss breathed, pulling Rue into a tight hug. "Stay close to Cato."
Clove looked away, deciding to stay out of their private moment or whatever it was the two were having. "See you in a bit, okay?" She heard Katniss whisper in a tearful voice. Rue murmured a sad "yeah" and that's when Clove decided it was safe to glance their way again. Katniss flashed Cato a look and gave him a simple nod that meant things Clove would probably never figure out. Cato simply nodded back at the girl before slowly making a few steps towards her.
At last, Clove looked up at him, unable to speak. It seemed that he was at a loss for words himself because all they did was stare at each other for a brief moment until he finally got up the guts to let out a sound: "If you don't make it back here in time to kill them," he paused for a couple of seconds. "We'll be gone."
"I know." Clove whispered, scared of the possibility itself. She couldn't let that happen. As much as she knew they were both dead already, she still had it in herself to fight to the very end. And keep him alive if she could help it, too.
"If you're even a few seconds late... I'll be gone." Cato said again as if to make sure she understood him correctly the first time around. She let out a deep breath and with a last glance his way, she nodded then turned around, ready to follow Katniss but then she felt Cato's hand wrap itself around her arm as he pulled her back, close to his chest. She looked up at his concerned face, letting all the emotions coming from his eyes sink in, before he whispered;
"Don't be late."
It was quaint how far they had made it, considering how many times they were inches away from the cannon announcing their deaths. This was unlikely for Careers in previous Games; to fear that the Game Makers would like nothing more than to finish them off. But then there was Cade, who knew exactly what he'd be up against before he even went in. He knew they wanted his death. And yet he still somehow made it to the very end almost before he was killed so unfairly. But there was nothing fair about the Hunger Games. How was putting twelve-year-old's in the arena with strong, older Careers fair? Cato hadn't bothered thinking much of that before... until now. Until he realized that he could've been the one to kill Rue had nothing changed this year.
The last thing Clove wanted was to leave his side, but she knew there was no other way. So here they were; once brutal and unforgiving about to fight those who still very much possesed those qualities. Cato and Clove knew each one of them. They trained with them for years. They knew their flaws and advantages. But still, they couldn't help but fear for the outcome, because every evil quality that they had lost during the Games would definitely come in handy now.
Clove swallowed hard, staring into Cato's eyes and she knew he felt the exact same way she did; she didn't even have to ask. She just knew. She could see it in the way he was looking at her. He was scared. He was afraid this was it. That now finally the time has come to say goodbye, because chances were high they would not see each other again. And so Clove did.
She said goodbye.
Placing her hands on each side of his head, Clove pulled his face closer to hers swiftly and brought his lips to hers. He didn't even need one second to respond. Pulling her even closer, he kissed her back the way he always had imagined he would if she ever gave him that chance. Her petite fingers moved to the back of his neck as she tried to make this moment last for as long as she could. She had never experienced anything like this before; she almost laughed thinking about how her-old-self used to feel such rush for training, she used to feel so over the top excited during training. while kissing Cato was so much better in every possible way. Thinking she had wasted years on doing everything but kissing Cato only made her pull him in closer. And she did not want to let go ever, but shortly after she was out of breath and as her lungs demanded more oxygen, she finally broke the kiss, breathing heavily.
They stared at each other for what seemed like another hour, trying their best to let the other know what they felt and what their lips could not say. And then, before Rue or Katniss managed to say a word, Clove gave Cato a small nod and jogged away and into the woods where stunned Katniss was waiting. They both took off and Cato watched them disappear with a fast-beating heart, trying to memorize every little detail of what just happened - of something so beyond the imagination.
He felt Rue's eyes on him so he turned to her, unsure of how to act before he realized it didn't even matter, anyway. She was watching him with a smile that was half-sympathetic and half-friendly and Cato almost shuddered when the thought of her dead body crossed his head for what seemed like no reason in particular. There was a very good reason, though and he knew it. This was the finale that the Game Makers had been dying to make happen. This was their last few hours in the arena. And the image of Rue's body wasn't just a scary possibility. It was the nightmare he knew he'd never be able to wake up from.
"Ready?" Cato asked the little girl, for her sake sounding more confident than he actually felt. Rue seemed shaky for just a split second before her face hardened soldierlike, making him smile the most genuine smile he ever remembered giving.
A/N: I know, I know... it's been forever. I truly am sorry, I tried my best to update as fast as possible. Life's been simply crazy and it has been greatly affecting my inspiration. But hey, this chapter had almost 10,000 words, yay! I sincerely apologize to everyone that has been following this story for keeping you waiting so long. And THANK YOU SO MUCH for sticking with me! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)