Authors Note:
Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews, the alerts and the additions to different peoples lists of favorite stories. I appreciate them so much and they make me very happy. :) I am sincerely glad people are enjoying the story. :)
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters from the book.
I apologize in advance for any mistakes and/or errors.
Reviews, criticism and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated. I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)
To those who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a wonderful one :)
*All thoughts are in Italics
Two Weeks Later
Bella's POV
I stare at the stark white ceiling above me. The tears flowing down like April rain. I make no attempt to wipe them again because I know there will soon be more to take their place. The anguish, pain, torture and loss I feel ties me down to the bed like I am a crazy person that needs to be restrained. My heart is in shambles, and every time I think of her it finds a way to break even more. My body is full ache and wanting; yearning for the person that makes my heart pound and my knees go weak. If I had any doubt in my mind that I am in love with Rosalie, the suffering I am experiencing confirms that I definitely am. My body is weary, exhausted and worn out from the additional work hours and lack of sleep. Every night I tell myself I won't dream of her, but my dreams are filled with us passionately making love, being romantic, loving each other like there is no tomorrow, and having a future together. I wake up in the middle of the night, crying and weeping for my dreams to be real. Longing for her touches, her kisses, and her love for me to be real. No matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop missing her. The extra hours at work don't help anymore. They hardly distract me from the pain I am harboring inside. I tried hanging out with friends, but little things in our conversations remind me of her. Everything reminds me of her. Just thinking about her makes me feel overwhelming desperation . A sob wracks my body. I start to cry forcefully and the hot tears start to flow rapidly.
"FUCK!" I scream out in a broken voice, overcome with despair. Luckily there is no one here to hear me. It is Sunday, which means everyone is at Emmett's house watching the game. I twist and turn on the bed as I start to weep without abandon. I turn over and clutch my pillow for dear life as my tears stain it.
Look at you. You are utterly pathetic! How could you let yourself get so immersed in this twisted relationship? How could you let yourself love her? She told you she does not love you back. You are weak Bella. You are so selfish! What about Edward? Imagine what he is going through! He is worrying his pretty little head over a wife who does not deserve him. What has your life become? Huh? Are you just going to live your life, day to day, pining over someone who has probably forgotten all about you already?
I sit up on the bed and bring my knees to my chest as I hide my face in my arms. I don't want to listen to that voice inside my head but I know everything that the voice is saying is more correct and true than I want it to be.
How could I let myself fall in love with her like that? When I know she is married. When I know she is my sister in law. How could I let my emotions get in the way? How could I just let myself go! God I am so tired of this! I am tired of feeling like shit every day. I am tired of being a horrible person. I am tired of being in pain.
I huff loudly and hold my knees tighter to my chest.
You can't live like this anymore Bella. You need to do something. You need to do something now and it needs to be drastic. Pick yourself up and get your shit together!
I sigh deeply and I look up slowly. I let my knees go and just sit there on the bed in reluctant realization.
My inner voice is right. I need to do something about this. She doesn't want me anymore. I have to move on with my life. If not for my sake, then for Edward's sake.
I push through the pain and slowly get up from the bed. I stand in my bedroom in contemplation.
But what the hell can I do?
I stand there for a good ten minutes trying to think of a soulution, but nothing comes to mind.
Maybe I should just bake. That always calms me down. Maybe it will help me think of something. I can bake some apple pie. I haven't made that in a while.
I head downstairs, grateful for the distraction. I am not sure how long my resolve to move on will last, but for now I will hold on to it and try to start putting the pieces of my life back together.
Alice's POV
I am sitting on my bed, staring at the bag of marijuana in my lap.
What the heck do I do with this stuff? Well I know you smoke it, but how? You have to make that white cigarette looking thing, but I have no idea how to do that….whoa whoa whoa! Who said I was smoking that stuff! But….I wonder what it's like.
I tilt my head slightly, still gazing at the plastic bag in my hands.
Well it was necessary to get it. At least now I have AJ's trust. The next step is to get closer to him and see what he knows about Rosalie. But how do I see him again? I can't buy more of this stuff. It is way too expensive and I don't even know what to do with the amount I already have.
I drum my fingers on the bag in thought. Then an idea comes to mind.
Well since I don't know what to do with it, I might as well ask AJ to help me. That way I will get to see him again and I can question him.
I smile slightly and grab my phone off the night stand. I dial his number quickly and wait for him to respond.
"It's AJ." he says in his deep voice.
"Hey AJ. It's Eve. You know, the newbie." I say somewhat nervous.
"Newbie.?" He says surprised. "I didn't expect for ya to call back so soon. You enjoying what I gave ya? I hope everything is to your liking." he says, some sincerity in his voice.
"Well….I…. I am not exactly sure how to smoke it." I admit quietly.
"Ya don't know how to smoke it?" he says incredulously. "Damn. I didn't realize that you were that new. It seemed like you knew what you were doin." he observes.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to give you that impression." I apologize. "I just….do you think you can help me?" I ask, trying to sound as helpless and as vulnerable as I can. I hear him sigh and give a huff.
"I don't normally do this…" he starts off reluctantly. "Ya didn't give me the run around like my other first time customers. You paid in cash like I asked and you payed on time. I guess I could help you out." he says as he gives in. I smile and squeeze the bag slightly.
"If ya want my help, we are gonna have to meet this Friday night." he tells me.
"Alright." I reply innocently.
"Do ya know the old warehouse that is a couple of blocks from the Westside mall?" he asks me.
"Yeah I do. Isn't that abandoned?" I ask, curious and nervous. He gives a small laugh.
"Yeah it was. But me and the boys to made it one of our hang out spots. Meet me at the front at eight. Don't be late and don't let anyone follow you. Got it newbie?" he says sternly. I gulp.
"Got it." I reply.
"Alright. See ya then." he says as he hangs up the phone. I sigh and get up to put the bag in its usual hiding spot, in a shoe box under the bed.
"Alice what are you doing?" Jasper inquires in a low tone as I am still kneeling on the floor. I jump in surprise and then get up quickly. I turn my eyes to him. He looks very suspicious and slightly angry.
"I was just looking for my pair of black satin pumps? Have you seen them?" I ask while lying to him. I start to move around the room. I can feel his burning gaze following me.
"Why would they be under the bed? You keep all your shoes in the closet?" he asks skeptically. My heart starts to pound a little faster, but I continue to lie.
"I know. I just thought that maybe I had been careless one night and kicked them under the bed." I say, pretending to look through a drawer for something.
"Hmmm." he hums. I keep up my pretense of looking through the drawer, not wanting to face him.
"Who were you talking to just now?" he asks me as he starts to walk in my direction. My back stiffens at his question.
Crap I thought he was in the basement. I was sure he wouldn't hear me.
"Oh no one important." I say nonchalantly as I keep rummaging through the drawer. I hear Jasper's footsteps become louder as he gets closer to me.
"If it's no one important then why can't you tell me who it is?" he asks, his voice starting to get louder. I grip the clothing that is in my hands and look straight in front of me at the wall. I feel myself start to get angry. I huff and drop the clothes. Then I turn around and look at him, my face irritated.
"Jasper it was no one okay? Goodness why are you questioning me?" I say raising my voice. My words turn his face into a mask of quiet rage. He walks up to me and backs me up against the dresser before I can move. He brings is hands to my arms and grips them tightly. I look at him and my heart begins to beat wildly.
"Alice. Don't." I grits out, his voice dangerously low, the rage inside him threatening to come out.
Oh no. I know that voice. He is really upset. Goodness I don't want him to get angry. I hate it when he is like that. It's like he is somebody completely different. I have to distract him. I have to soften him up somehow.
I look up at him with the most innocent face I can muster. I gently pry my arms out of his grasp. I bring one of my hands to his face and rest the other one on his neck.
"Jas, baby, I am sorry." I say trying to sound sincere. "It's just that I have been so sexually frustrated lately. We haven't done it in a few weeks now. I guess my frustration was channeled into my words. I am so sorry sweetie." I say as I rub both his neck and his cheek. His angry gaze is turned into a lust filled one and he puts on a sexy smirk.
"Well if you wanted sex Alice, all you had to do was ask." he says in a seductive tone as his arms move to my waist. He eyes me and I give him a sexy gaze as I bite my lip. This encourages him and he starts to devour my neck. I sigh, thankful that I have managed to distract him. I roll my eyes and inwardly groan as I prepare for the rough sex session that is to come.
Bella's POV
I look at myself in the mirror once more.
Well I guess I haven't gained much weight. This thing still fits me like a glove.
I am wearing the pink baby doll lingerie Alice had gotten me for my birthday two years ago. She said it would spice up my sex life. I tried it on once but I was too embarrassed to ever wear in front of Edward. This is my first time putting it on and this is the first time Edward will see it. Tonight, I am going to seduce him. Or at least try to. I concluded in my mind that sex with my husband is probably what I need. We haven't had sex for almost a year. We were both so busy with pursuing our careers so we would both come home tired, not leaving much time for sex. Once I started to get involved with Rosalie, I felt too guilty to sleep with him. Edward was too much of a gentleman to ever ask me about it but I know he was feeling deprived. Maybe sex with him will help me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place. I am hoping it will help me to forget all about her. I sigh and put the stray strands of my hair in place. I wanted to look nice for him so I curled my hair and put on some makeup. I stare at myself again.
Well I don't think I can do anything else to myself. This is as good as it is gonna get.
I blow out some air and turn around to look at the bedroom. Scented candles illuminate the room and petals of roses adorn the bed sheets. I even changed the bed linens to red to try to be romantic. I left the bakery early so that I could set everything up before he got here.
Maybe I should try to do a sexy pose on the bed for when he walks in. No I will just probably look stupid. Maybe I should hide and then surprise him when he walks in. No! What am I, five? I am trying to fuck him, not scare him. Well then maybe I should…
"Bella!" I suddenly hear Edward yell downstairs. I give a small smile at his arrival.
"I am in the bedroom!" I yell back. I hear him start to make his way up the steps and I take one last quick glance in the mirror. Then I face the door and wait for him to enter. He opens the door and when he looks at me his mouth opens. I smile at his reaction and walk over to him.
"Well? What do you think?" I ask him smiling. He takes a moment before he answers to look at me with awe and adoration in his eyes. He brings his hand to my face and gently places it on my cheek.
"I am speechless. You look beautiful." he says softly as he stokes my cheek with his thumb. I whisper words of thanks then I lean my face towards his hand and kiss it. When I look at him, he is smiling.
God, I haven't seen Edward this happy in a long time. I am definitely doing the right thing.
"How was work?" I ask him. He sighs and then leans his forehead against mine.
"Long and laborious." he replies against my face. I run my hand softly through his hair.
"Well why don't I give you a massage. Maybe that will help you relax." I say while resting my hands on his shoulder.
"That would be lovely." he says while smiling sweetly at me. I move out of our embrace so that he can get himself comfortable. I he takes off his jacket and his shirt so that he is left in just his scrub pants. I take his hand and lead him to sit on the edge of the bed. I then climb on the bed behind him. I then slowly start to work my hand on his shoulders. I can feel him start to relax and he slumps his shoulders. After a few moments he rests his head on my chest and cutely smiles up at me. I smile back at him then kiss him on the forehead.
Time to make your move.
I climb around Edward so that I am straddling his lap. I rest my forehead against his and then kiss his gently on the lips. I kiss him again, deeper this time and he responds fervently. I wrap my hands around his neck and his hands find my waist as we kiss. As our kisses become more passionate, I can feel Edward start to get hard beneath me. Boldly, I bring my hand to his shaft and start to palm his erection through his pants. He moans into the kiss and starts to run his hands against my back. I break the kiss and look at him.
"I know we haven't done this in a while. And I know I haven't been myself lately. But I am better now and I miss you. I really want us to get back to the place we were a year ago. I want share my body with you again, if you would have me?" I say, forcing my voice to sound sincere. But I know I am lying through my teeth, but I have to push through. He looks at me, his eyes full of emotion, and he nods while smiling lovingly at me. This time he kisses me and I kiss back false passion. He lies back on the bed and brings me with him. We keep kissing as our hands explore each other's body, trying to remember a place that is now so foreign to them. Then he turns us over without breaking our kiss. After a few moments of kissing, he stops and looks at me with a look of infatuation.
"I missed making love to you." he admits as he whispers his words against my mouth. A pang of guilt shoots right through the heart. The unadulterated love and sincerity that is painted on his face makes me feel so guilty. I bring his face to mine and I kiss him with even more force. Willing those thoughts of guilt and shame out of my head. As Edward starts to remove my baby doll from my body, I promise myself I will try to enjoy our time together.
Alice's POV
I drive up the darkened road to the place where AJ and I are supposed to meet. I decide to park far enough away from the building so I do not get robbed, but close enough that I can run and escape is necessary. I sit in the car and take in my surroundings. The warehouse looks aged and discolored, wood peeling off of it. Outside the building there are wooden crates and barrels scattered all around the floor. There is another car that is parked near the warehouse. Dim light shines through the windows of the structure. Surrounding the building is many tall trees, making a big, dark, eerie forest. I let out a shaky sigh as my body is wracked with nervousness.
You can do this. You need to do this. You will be fine. Just relax. Just breathe.
I take a deep breath. After I calm myself down I decide it is finally time to get out of the car. I lock my doors and check my windows before I start heading to the warehouse. I swiftly make my way to the front of the building and wait for AJ. The dark night covers me as my attire is again all black. I look all around myself while I wait, paranoid and on-edge. I clutch my bag which holds the intoxicants in my possession.
"Newbie?" I suddenly hear someone whisper from the crack of the front door. I jump in fright and let out a small gasp. After I have recovered from my scare, I curiously lean closer to the opening.
"AJ?" I whisper to the crack in the door.
"Yeah it's me. Are you alone?" AJ asks back in a whisper.
"Yes. Just like you said I should be." I answer in another whisper. The door then opens and I slowly walk in. As I walk in I inspect the room. It is lit up by a few old lamps and cold air swirls through the room. There is an old ratty couch in the corner draped with sheets and pieces of clothing. There is a small fire place filled with old newspapers to keep the fire inside of it burning. Debris like used beer cans is scattered all over the floor. The wooden crates are used as makeshift tables and chairs. Once I am in, I hear the door shut behind me and I turn around to see AJ. He is wearing an outfit similar to the last one I saw him in, his brunette hair framing his face.
"Thanks for seeing me." I say, breaking the silence.
"It's alright. It gives me chance to get away from the guys a little." he says jokingly as he gives a small chuckle. At his mention of his accomplices, I notice that we are alone. I am afraid and relived all at the same time.
"Here. Have a seat." he says as he points to one of the wooden crates. I dust off the dirt on it and take a seat. He pulls up another wooden crate and takes a seat on it so that there is one crate between us.
"Do you have the stuff?" he asks once he is seated. I take out the bag of marijuana that was in my purse and place it on the crate that is in-between us. He then takes out some white sheets that look like paper and sets them on the crate. He takes one of the sheets and smoothes it flat. Then he opens the bag and takes some of the marijuana out. He carefully lays the marijuana on the sheet. He then does a special technique of rolling the paper with the marijuana in it. After he is done rolling, he holds the cigarette looking object up.
"And that is how you roll a joint." he says proudly with an amused expression on his face. I can't help but smile a little. He then starts on making his next joint.
"So how do you know Rosalie?" I ask, trying to cover up my interrogation by making it seem like small talk. He smiles slightly and huffs.
"We met through a bad situation. She saved my ass and I saved hers." he explains to me.
"What happened?" I ask worriedly before I can stop myself. He stops and looks at me, his face scrunched up in confusion.
"You don't know?" he asks somewhat surprised. I shake my head side to side as a look at him.
"You used Rose's name as a reference. I though you knew her pretty well?" he asks suspicious as he stops rolling the joint.
"I know her." I say quickly before he can suspect anything. "Believe me, I know her. Rose just doesn't share personal stuff with me. She is not very open." I say, for once stating the truth. He lets out a short laugh and huffs in recognition.
"Yeah you got that right. Rose doesn't like just anyone knowing her shit." he says with a small smile.
"Well you must not be just anyone to her, if you know her shit." I comment, the curse word feeling strange on my tongue. He snorts as he starts on his next joint.
"Well I don't know how special I am to her. All I know is that we went through some stuff together that is kind of hard to forget." he says quietly.
"What exactly happened?" I ask again, pushing for him to tell me. He gives a brief sigh.
"If ya don't know, it's not my place to tell ya. Rose made me promise not to tell anyone without her knowing. I always keep my promises." he tells me as he looks up at me briefly. I sigh in defeat and watch his hands work. I decide to try another tactic.
"Did Rosalie ever do drugs?" I ask him, slightly nervous for the answer. He starts to nod his head up and down.
"Yeah she did." he states. I sit in my seat, slightly shocked.
Rose was always the more rebellious one out of the three of us, but I never thought she would do drugs.
"How many…what kind of drugs did she do?" I ask hesitant. He seemed a bit reluctant to respond, but he still answers my question.
"She smoked stuff like weed and cigarettes. She sometimes popped pills. She didn't really mess with anything else." he says to me. I bend my head down, shaking it, not understanding.
"But why would she do drugs?" I say more to myself than to him.
"She started for the same reason most people start; to escape their problems." he says while she continues to roll more joints. I look up at him and another wave of shock covers my body.
What problems did she have? What could have been so painful that she needed drugs to escape?
I turn my head slightly so he does not see the tears that start to well up in my eyes. I look back at him and see that he is distracted so I quickly wipe my face.
"Does she still do them?" I ask in a weak quiet voice. He brings his head up to look at me again, and then he starts on another joint.
"Nah she doesn't. She hasn't done them for a long time now." he tells me. I little bit of relief relaxes my body. I look down at AJ's work and see that he has made quite a few joints.
"You work fast." I comment. He looks at me then laughs.
"It's just a lot of years of practice." he says amused. "Ya want me to teach ya how to make one?" he asks smiling at me. My eyes widen and I gape at him. He laughs even harder at my expression.
"C'mon it's easy! You're not gonna hurt anyone. I promise." he says, trying to convince me.
You might as well. You are here already. He is right; you are not going to hurt anyone by making a joint. You might as well learn something new. You never know when it might come in handy.
"Okay." I say, giving him a small smile. H smiles back and hands me one of the small sheets of paper. We then the next few hours perfecting my joint technique.
Edward's POV
Emmett and I roll our eyes as we listen to Jasper's rambling. We are all sitting at a table drinking beers at our favorite bar.
"Then she said she was looking for shoes. Who the hell looks for shoes under the bed?" he asks incredulously.
"Uhhhhh normal people?" Emmett asks sarcastically and I snicker. He glances angrily at Emmett and shakes his head slightly.
"Normal people keep their damn shoes in a fucking closet." he mutters. "I am telling you guys, she is up to something. Tonight she said she was going out with a friend. She wouldn't even fucking tell me who the person was. And she was dressed in all black!" he complains to us.
"Maybe Alice is a ninja." Emmett jokes. I laugh heartily and Jasper sneers at him.
"Jasper, I think you are just blowing things out of proportion. Just because she didn't tell you who she is going out with tonight doesn't mean she is on this secret mission." I try to reason with him. Jasper huffs in frustration.
"This isn't just a onetime thing. Lately I have been asking her who she is speaking to or what is she doing. Her answers are nothing and no one. Why the fuck can't she tell me? She must obviously be up to something!" he tells me irritated.
"I just think you are too controlling and suspicious." Emmett says as he shakes his head. "You have some serious trust issues, man. I think she doesn't tell you because she knows you don't trust her so she is doing it to get on your nerves. Women like to fight fire with fire." he tells Jasper expertly. I look at him, surprised that he didn't reply with a joke or sarcasm.
"Oh shut the fuck up Emmett!" he says to Emmett harshly. "Since when the fuck are you some fucking relationship guru? Don't act like you know everything and your marriage is perfect. With you being married to Rose, I know you have a lot relationship issues." he says, questioning Emmett. Emmett sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Whatever man. Rose is not as bad as you think. I mean, lately it's been a little rough but I know we will make it through." he says with confidence.
"What do you mean by it's been a little rough lately?" I ask in concern.
"Well Roses bitchiness levels are very high nowadays. She will get pissed at me for no reason and then won't talk to me for the whole day. Then by the end of the night she is forcing me down on the bed to have angry makeup sex." he explains to me. "But I have to admit, I am enjoying the sex part." he says as he wiggles his eyebrows. I shake my head smiling and Jasper rolls his eyes.
"At least you are not the only one who is having trouble in paradise now Edward." Jasper says to me as he sips his beer.
"Actually, things with Bella and I are going great. We are having sex again." I confide in them. Both their eyes widen in surprise.
"Oh my God." Emmett whispers. "It a fucking miracle." he says smiling as Jasper laughs at his comment. I raise my middle finger to them and continue to drink my beer.
"I honestly don't think that is a good thing Edward. She just decides to have sex with you randomly one night after a whole year of no sex? There is some fishy shit going on." Jasper warns me. Emmett shakes his head in annoyance.
"Don't listen to Jasper. I am happy for you bro!" Emmett says while he slaps me on the shoulder.
"Thanks man." I say as a smile at Emmett. Jasper and Emmett start to talk about the baseball game that they watched last night but I can't bring myself to join the conversation. What Jasper said bothered me a bit and I can't help but think about it.
What if he is right? What if something is wrong? But why wouldn't she tell me? We tell each other everything, or at least I tell her everything. She has been acting strange lately. And she did suggest sex out of the blue. Maybe something is up. Something that she does not want me to know about. What could she be hiding from me?