AN:/ Meh.

Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic

Chapter Six

By: deadlydaisy8o8

Originally Uploaded: Sunday, January 27, 2013, 8:15PM

Potion's was not, in fact, the only class to be had that day. After a twenty-minute intermission, Batman made his way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. A man named Remus Lupin, it seemed, would teach this class. Batman did not miss the pun in his name, knowing both the story of Romulus and Remus, along with being fluent in Latin.

Not being late to this class, Batman was allowed to slip into the classroom while the professor's back was turned. He did not however make an effort to hide himself once he found a shadow to occupy at the back corner of the room. This Professor was making no attempt to preform a charade, as McGonagall had. Batman returned the favor by allowing himself to be seen. Though even when Batman had made himself visible, it took three minutes before Remus noticed there was a man in the back of his classroom.

When he did notice, it was with recoil of surprise and the whip of a wand being drawn. Batman did not so much as flinch, causing Remus to narrow his eyes before he realized who he had just drawn a wand on. Remus then hesitantly lowered his wand and dropped out of his taught pose. He smiled with a mix of anxiety and confusion.

"I apologize, you took me by surprise. I had forgotten you would be in this class. I am Professor Remus Lupin." Batman just stared back at the Professor and silently analyzed him. The man was haggard. He had scars over his face, there was grey in his hair, despite the fact that he looked relatively too young for such things. His hands were knarled, and worn. His clothes were shabby and thin, though he held himself professionally regardless.

This was a man who had seen more than he should have. A man with a past and full of secrets. Batman knew the type. The man's eyes however, held no malice, or desire for revenge. He was simply tired. Sheer determination to do more was what was keeping this man standing, and moving forward. His guarded reaction to Batman's presence allowed the assumption that this man was a fighter, not a coward. His appearance also alluded that he had seen his fair share of confrontations.

After Batman did not respond and simply stared at him, completely motionless, Remus was seriously considering whether someone had spelled the man motionless, and he needed help from him. Cautiously Remus moved forward, his wand held casually but ready for action at his side.

Batman watched as the thoughts passed through the man's head. He saw caution, confusion, embarrassment, and then concern. After concern had settled on the man's face, he started to move forward, the fingers clutching his wand flexing ever so slightly. Batman allowed the man to approach, but before he could open his mouth or do anything with his wand, he gave the man a barely perceptible nod.

Remus stopped abruptly at the small action, not even sure he had seen it. That was when the first group of third year Ravenclaws entered the room. The Ravenclaws stopped dead in their tracks and stared wide eyed at Remus and Batman. Remus blushed furiously before he moved to quickly introduce himself to the students and invite them to have a seat.

The rest of the class filed in and a similar pattern started to emerge. The students would stop in the doorway, gape at Batman, and then be snapped out of it by Remus who would invite them in. Remus had attempted to invite Batman to sit down, or make a joke about how he was scarring the children, but all he got for his efforts was a very creepy feeling at the back of his neck, so he desisted.

Finally all of the students were there, including Malfoy, who had refused to take his eyes off of Batman since he had entered the room. Batman didn't much care and paid the boy no mind. The room was eerily quiet, as no one felt like it was okay to talk. Whenever Remus tried to break the silence it just felt even more awkward and wrong. But just as Batman had hypothesized, the man was determined, and had seen his fair share of problems. He was not backing down from this one.

"Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am your Professor, Remus Lupin. I understand you have had your fair share of Teachers in the past and that they weren't all exactly the best, so I will be doing my best to make sure you are all learning what you need to know. For the Third Year Curriculum we will be focusing mainly on dangerous magical creatures, and how to best them. I am sure you are all aware of the expectations of you in this class, so if there are no questions I would like to get right to our first lesson." Remus waited and looked over the class. All of them were squirming, still no one feeling comfortable saying anything for fear of some unknown repercussion if they did.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly before he started to move towards the entrance to the classroom. "Right well, if the rest of you would follow me. Our first lesson is in a classroom just down the hall." There was a scrapping of wood chair legs against stone as the students got up to follow the professor, glancing back to Batman, only too see he had not moved. Batman waited until all of the students had left the classroom before he moved and seemed to almost disappear. Nervous whispers broke out on the trip down the hall, only to stop abruptly when they found Batman in the room they had been headed to. Remus continued to plow forward through the tension.

"Right, all of you gather around." Suddenly the wardrobe that was placed in the room shook violently, eliciting several screams from the already high-strung students. "Clam yourselves! There is nothing to be afraid of. The fact that there are so many of us here are merely making it excited. Can anyone tell me what a Boggart is?" Remus looked over the nervous students, choosing to attempt to ignore the looming demon creature at the back of the room as he tried to teach his class. Remus waited for a full minute for the class to calm down. A lone Ravenclaw raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Lundy."

"A boggart is a creature that turns into your worst fear." Remus beamed, desperately trying to lift the lead blanket that seemed to have settled over the room

"That is entirely correct! Very good. Yes, Boggarts are manifestations that adapt to a persons worst fear. They are not in fact, mortal creatures, but more along the lines of a manifestation of spiritual energy, and cannot be killed, merely banished. Due to the fact that when confronted, a boggart immediately changes shape, no one knows what an untransformed Boggart looks like. Now, can anyone tell me how to get rid of a boggart?" There was less hesitation this time as a Slytherin raised his hand.

"Yes Mr. Nott."

"You laugh at it." Remus smiled again and eagerly continued, trying to keep the momentum going.

"Excellent. Yes. A boggart can only truly be bested with good hearty laughter. This may seem like an impossible thing, when you are faced with your worst fear. Laughter may be the last thing from your mind. That however, is what we will be addressing today. There is a spell that is used to forcefully transform a boggart into something more amusing. The key is to have an image in your head of something to turn your worst fear into as you cast the spell. The incantation is Ridikulus. Now if everyone would repeat after me. Ridikulus."

"Ridikulus." Remus nodded

"Once again more forcefully. Ridikulus."

"Ridikulus!" Remus smiled again as he gave an acknowledging nod.

"See, not at all difficult. Now we'll try it on the real thing." Remus patted the wardrobe and it shook violently in retaliation. The students all rapidly dropped any confidence they might have had at Remus' suggestion. Remus however was not discouraged.

"Oh come now it's not that bad. You do not have to try of course, but everyone who faces the boggart will be excused from the assignment I assign. I will be here to help, and a boggart is incapable of truly harming a person. If you would all form a single file line and we can get started." The class remained an amorphous blob, though some of them put up the pretense of moving into a line. Remus waited for something even remotely like a line to form, but none did. No one would make eye contact with him, instead they all seemed to have come to a silent agreement amongst themselves that none of them were going first, and there was nothing Remus could do about it. Remus sighed.

"I will allow anyone who faces the boggart to leave class as soon as they are done, as well as being given a pass on the assignment." At this the class stilled all except for one.

All eyes snapped to the back of the room, as something seemed to melt right out of the shadows. The students had nearly forgotten that Batman was supposed to be in the room with them, he had been so still and silent. But he was not still as he strode purposefully to the front of the room, the clump of students parting for him like the red sea.

As soon as Batman was in front of the students the wardrobe shook so violently that it tipped backwards with a crash. All of the students let out a yelp of fear. Remus recoiled in surprise, completely uncertain of what to do. Batman was completely motionless as he waited.

The latch had been undone in the wardrobes fall. The armoire shook once more before the door popped open and man jumped nimbly out of the opening. The rest of the class recoiled in surprise, letting out short shrieks at the man that appeared before them.

He was lanky, his limbs stringy and loose. His face was washed white; his hair was a vibrant green. His face was stretched impossibly wide into a maniacal smile framed by blood red lips. He wore a purple suit with a green bow tie and a yellow vest. And spattered over the entire man's form were splashes of blood. A crowbar clutched in one of the man's gloved hands was dripping some dark liquid and left red stains on the floor.

"Hey ya Batsy! Where were you earlier? I tried to call you but you never answered!" The man waved the crowbar around lazily, flinging drops of blood onto the students behind Batman who let out yelps of fear, "You see, I had a real good show planned! I figured all the best movies are getting sequels these days. So unoriginal, but I figured, what the heck I'd give it a shot." The Joker's smile, if at all possible became wider as a dark chuckle escaped his mouth, echoing impossibly around the room. The crazed man walked slowly towards Batman, twirling the crowbar lazily in his hand. Batman remained completely motionless as the clown approached.

"And what do you know Batsy! There was something to all this squeal business! It was at least three times as good as the original. I wish you could have been there. It was a real HIT!" the man then started to snicker, then a dark chuckle bubbled from his lips that got louder and louder. His awful lips stretched over his hideous teeth farther and farther as he lost all control and his shrieking laugher filled the room.

The students behind Batman were now in complete shock most of them openly crying but not sure why. Those who weren't were white as a sheet, eyes wide and unable to look away. Remus was frozen to the spot, completely unprepared for the psychotic monster that was standing before the Batman.

"That wasn't funny." Abruptly the maniac clown ceased laughing and became angry. The enormous smile became an enormous scowl as he whipped around to face Batman.

"Of course it is! Its hilarious can't you see? I killed them, all three of them, all of your little birdies. And just like last time you weren't there to save them! Not even close! I even did it behind the theater in Park Row so that I could make all of these entertainment references. 'A killer at the Box office! It really packed a punch. A real show stopper. Something that will just rip your heart right out of you.' Why can't you see it? Why aren't you laughing or at least punching me? Do something Damit!" Joker fisted his hands by his side like a petulant child as he yelled in Batman's face. Batman stared emotionlessly back.

"I'm not wasting my time on you. Go away Joker." The mad clown seethed as he jabbed his finger into Batman's chest.

"Now I went through all the trouble of setting this whole thing up and you're just going to throw me out on the street-" Joker was cut off as Batman's hand shot forward and grabbed Joker's neck, squeezing it, causing the man to gag. Batman dragged the man's face right up to his and growled in a tone barely above a whisper.

"I said. Go. Away." It was then that something changed in Joker's eyes. In Batman's very hands, all of the insanity that usually radiated from Joker's every action melted away. Left in its place was something in the form of Joker with a sense of self-preservation. He gulped before he dissolved rapidly into a black mist and went back into the wardrobe, the door slamming shut behind it.

The room stood in complete silence besides the shuttering breaths of the students who were still trying to get control of themselves. Wordlessly Batman turned and walked out of the room.

Batman knew himself. He prided himself on knowing his limits, and being able to push past those limits when necessary. He was in control of himself. This was why he knew he needed a release. He could stare down at the Joker and not be afraid, but he was angry. He was angry because he knew there was truth to what the clown had said. He didn't know where he was or how to return to his home, and if anything were to happen to his family, he wouldn't be there to do anything about it. Here he was completely helpless.

He knew it would be a superficial feeling, but he needed to let off steam, to be in control. When he needed a stress reliever at home, it was a simple thing to go out on patrol, or work through a training sequence in the cave. He had neither of those things here. Stationary targets such as columns or walls, would not allow him to be in control, or pose a challenge. He needed something that would fight back. And in his current environment, there was only one option that would not do anyone else bodily harm.

Batman had taken off his armor. He knew he was exposing himself, but that was the point. It would make this a challenge. He tightened the mask he had used to shower and sleep in around his head. He had already thoroughly wrapped his hands and feet. The sun was on its descent; the rest of the student body would be at lunch.

The whomping willow groaned as he got nearer. He had read about the tree in the book he had picked up, 'Hogwarts a History'. He had only caught glimpses of it through windows and on his way back to the castle from Diagon Ally with Hagrid. It's limbs were large and clubbed, obviously to be used to attack. The trunk of the tree was twisted and shuddered in such a way to suggest that it would be untwisted when provoked. Honestly this was one of the tamer plants he had ever come into contact with. This one was not poisonous, did not have teeth, and didn't have Pamela Isley at the controls. It would have been simpler to permanently disable the tree, but he had decided to only subdue it. He could then let it heal and come back to spar with it again if he needed the release.

Batman observed the ground around the tree and saw that it was all pulverized. A trench marked the extent of the trees reach. Nothing was growing within this perimeter. Batman narrowed his eyes at the tree, which was swishing lightly, shuddering its leaves, groaning, and making a general racket, as if to warn him not to come closer.

Batman crouched and leapt upward towards the trees branches. As anticipated the branches, which had been pointed upwards, moved to a horizontal position as the trunk uncoiled. Bruce let out a grunt as he grabbed onto one of the branches. As the branch started to slam downward Bruce pushed upward, and landed on top of it as it sent up an explosion of dirt. The branch threw Bruce upward, sending him flying up in the air.

Bruce used the catapult and tucked himself into a summersault. He must have been over fifty feet of the ground. A fall from this height would kill him. It was a good thing he didn't plan on landing on the ground. As Bruce fell he extended his leg out. There was a sharp crack as his foot made contact with one of the branches that had made to 'catch' him.

The branch recoiled out from under him. He fell forwards and let out another grunt as he caught the branch that had been coming towards him to knock him away. The branch was pushing him backward. He used his resistance to the change in direction to swing under and land on top of it. Bruce ducked low as another branch traveling in the opposing direction came swinging.

The tree started to groan as the trunk moved, attempting to flip him over and slam him into the ground once more. Bruce allowed himself to fall off of the branch and run along the moving branches until they had all slammed into the ground on the one side, and he was standing on the top of the heap.

The tree groaned as it picked itself up and started to repeat the action instead in the opposing direction. Bruce hung onto the bottom most branch until he was just about to hit the ground. He pushed off and with the combine force of the tree's pushing him, launched himself at the trunk, feet first. There was another sharp crack and the tree shuddered. Bruce flipped backward off of the trunk before he ran back at it landing a flurry of punches that started to cause the bark to fall off.

A branch came in at an awkward angle, bending back on itself to get to Bruce at the center. Bruce braced himself and grabbed onto the limb as he was sent sweeping outward. Bruce grit his teeth as he held on against the centripetal force. Bruce held on until the tree was completely uncoiled and starting in the opposite direction to recoil. In the pause of movement Bruce swung up on top of the branch and leapt across the trees branches as if he were on a treadmill. As he leapt from branch to branch he kicked and punched everything he came into contact with. Using the force of his contacts to spring to the next limb. The result was a rapid crack crack crack crack as the tree slowed its wind up.

The tree wilted slightly, its injured limbs still mobile, but only following the lead of the last two active branches. It was obviously tired. Slowly, one of the last remaining branches swept downward, only intent on sweeping Bruce away from it. Bruce dodged and ran along the docile branches towards the other healthy one. He ran along it towards its end and as it curled upward to meet him he kicked it causing it to wilt.

Using the branches upward movement, he jumped and landed a solid punch to the last reaming branch that had been coming toward him. It shuddered pathetically before it too wilted.

Bruce readied himself for another assault but none came. The tree merely groaned as it coiled itself up, as if hugging itself. Occasionally a shudder would run through it, as if it were shivering.

With a grunt Batman leapt down to the ground. He slowly walked around the trunk, making sure that the tree would be able to recover. He paid absolutely no attention to the small crowd that had gathered a ways away from the tree. They had all been completely silent as he had leapt about, but were now talking loudly amongst themselves. However none of them dared to get close.

As he walked around the tree he came a decent sized hole in the ground that the trees roots seemed to be curled around. Around any normal tree this would not have seemed suspicious, however this tree would never allow anything harmless within its radius long enough to make a burrow. Batman narrowed his eyes as he looked closer into the hole and saw what looked to be paw prints, of some sort of large canine in the dirt.

"What in Merlin's name is the meaning of this?" Professor Sprout had seen the large clump of students out where they weren't supposed to be and had gotten worried when she saw that the willow was flailing about. She quickly rushed out of her greenhouses and approached the clump of students, pushing through to see what was the matter. Only to gape when she finally came to terms with what had happened.

"What on Earth have you done to the Whomping Willow!" Batman crouched up from his position beside the mysterious burrow entrance and grunted. He would ponder over the meaning of this later.

"Sparing practice. It will recover. There is no terminal damage." Batman didn't acknowledge anything else as he walked past the clump of students and back to the castle. He had left his armor back in his room. The safest place he knew to keep anything at the moment. Professor sprout could only gaze, near tears in her eyes, at the depressingly abused tree before her. Clumps of its leaves falling to the ground every time it shuddered, coiling in its branches and protecting the side of its trunk that was missing a majority of its bark.