Authors Note:
I am so sorry about my unexpected long hiatus. Basically, life got in the way I couldn't really write. I hope you all find it in your hearts to forgive me :(
I also have to apologize for the length of this chapter, it is not as long as the others.
Thank you all so much for the reviews, favorite story additions and alerts. I know I say this every chapter, but I really really really am grateful for them. I am so happy that you all are interested in this story and enjoying it. :)
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters from the book.
I apologize in advance for any mistakes and/or errors.
Reviews, criticism and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated. I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)
*All thoughts are in Italics
Bella's POV
Emmett bumps into Angela and I as we are about to walk thought the front door. He stops for a second and looks at me. His eyes look frantic, angry and apologetic. I see that he has his coat and scarf on. He must be headed home to comfort his wife. A mix of guilt and pain almost chokes me and I suppress a cough.
Everything is so fucked up. Poor Emmett doesn't deserve all of this.
He gently rests his hand on my shoulder and gives it light squeeze.
"Bella I am so sorry about all this. Rosalie shouldn't have acted that way." he says, his apology painfully sincere.
"It's fine." I force myself to whisper.
No it's not. You know it isn't. Things are probably one hundred percent worse now.
I watch Emmett say quick goodbyes to everyone and then he and Mike, who has volunteered to give him a ride home, leave the house soon after. I feel Angela remove my jacket. She rubs one of my arms in comfort.
"I think you should eat something. Maybe it will help you warm up." she says kindly. I just nod and follow her, not wanting to offend her kindness. I take the seat next to Edward and he automatically wraps one of his arms around my waist. He kisses my forehead and looks at me with worry.
"Are you alright love?" he asks in a whisper. I look at him, the guilt beating me up.
No Edward, I am not fucking alright. I feel like my whole world is falling apart and I don't know how to fix it.
"Hey Bella, Can you pass the potato salad?" Eric suddenly asks me from across the table. Grateful for the interruption, I nod at him and give him what he wants. I take this as an opportunity and try to evade Edward's question by starting to eat. He does not bother me about it but I see him glance my way from time to time. My appetite was not longer existent and I don't eat much. I feel sick, not from the pregnancy but from everything that is happening. I suddenly feel the urge to cry and again and I excuse myself from the table, wanting to be alone. I enter my bedroom and lean against the door. More tears run down my face and my pain starts to make itself apparent. I sigh and rub gentle circles on my stomach. Rubbing my stomach has become a habit of mine since I discovered I was pregnant. I think that somehow I just wanted the baby to feel my love for it. I take off my heels then walk to the bed and sit on the edge of it. I rest my hand on my stomach.
"You are the only thing that makes sense in my world." I whisper softly to the baby. I knew the baby could not hear me, but I needed to say it. After a few moments, I hear the door creek open and see a worried Edward walk through.
So much for being alone. I should have known he would follow me up here.
"Bella, is everything alright?' he asks me, concern lacing his voice. I feel myself get slightly annoyed at him ignoring the obvious.
"No everything is not alright. Did you not see what happened down there?" I ask him exasperated. He sighs and sits beside me on the bed.
"Do you mean with Rose? Don't worry about her. She will come around." he says while he rubs my back. I scrunch my face in confusion and turn to look at him, slightly angry.
She will come around? How can he be so fucking insensitive!
I feel myself become more heated by my husband's insensitivity towards his sister.
It seems like he is just brushing it off like it is not big deal. How long has he known about this anyways? He could have known about this forever and I had no clue.
I shrug out of his embrace and swiftly stand up.
"She will come around?" I ask upset. "Edward, this is not something you can just 'come around' from." I say, slightly angered. He sighs deeply and gets up from the bed to stand in front of me.
"Bella-" he begins.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I ask him looking into his eyes. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks away for a moment. Then he looks back at me.
"I didn't feel it was my place to tell you." he answers quietly. I silence myself, disagreeing with his decision but knowing that it was the right one. I would not want anyone telling a serious secret of mine without my consent. I walk over to the mirror and start to undo the bun that is in my hair.
"I wish I would have know. I would have been more cautious when I talked about that kind of stuff. It could have spared her so much pain." I say, more to myself. I hear Edward snort.
"You are really worried about sparing her feelings? She doesn't worry about sparing anyone else's." I hear Edward mumble behind me. I take my hand down from my head and look at him angrily in the mirror.
"Just because Rose may treat people badly sometimes does not mean that we shouldn't care about her feelings. She has feelings just like everyone else." I say firmly, defending my position.
Does she? I hardly see them.
"Since when have you become such an advocate for Rose? She is not always particularly kind to you either." he comments as if he is stating the obvious.
"I love her." The words fly out of my mouth without missing a beat. They just roll naturally off my tongue. I realize this is probably the most truthful thing I have said to my husband in months. Scared that I have revealed myself, I rapidly say something else.
"She is my sister-in- law and I care about her." I say quickly, trying to cover my tracks. He walks up behind me and kisses me on the neck.
"See. That is why I love you so much. Your capacity to love is endless. You can love the people that are hardest to love. I am so lucky to have you." he whispers against my ear. I look down and shake my head slightly. I shrug out of his embrace, still upset with him about his earlier remarks about Rose.
"Love, what's wrong?" he asks concerned as he notices my gesture.
"Nothing. I am just really tired and I want to go to bed. Do you think that you can say goodbye to everyone for me?" I lie to him, giving a fake smile.
"Yeah of course." he says, giving me a soft smile back. He then kisses my temple and leaves the room. I begin to brush my hair slowly and I am left with my thoughts.
I don't like him talking about her like that. Yeah she can be a bitch sometimes but so what? Bitches need love too. And it's his sister. He should love her regardless of the shit she has done. Rose does have some flaws, but she also has many good qualities.
I stop my movement and look at myself in the mirror.
Listen to you. Defending Rosalie. Edward is right. Rosalie hasn't been the nicest person to you. She hurt you. She said she did not feel the same about you. You should just stop loving her.
"But I can't." I whisper to myself as tears start to form in my eyes. I put down the brush and brace my arms against the top of the dresser. I take deep breaths as tears start to drip from my eyes. After some of my crying subsides, I gather my strength and go through my nightly routine to get ready for bed. Once I am finally under the covers, I allow myself to cry a bit more.
I don't understand all of this. I don't understand my feelings, actions and thoughts. Why is this happening to me? What did I get myself into?
My tears start to fade as I slip into the abyss of slumber. All of the various emotions I am feeling turn into one big blob of numbness as I drift off to sleep.
Rosalie's POV
As I come back to consciousness, I feel the heat from the morning light hit against my face. My body feels heavy and there is a slight pounding in my head. I move my head slightly and I feel it brush against a pillow. I turn my body slowly so that I am lying on my back. My hand brushes against the sheets and I cover my forehead. My mind still feels hazy as I try to remember the last part of the previous night.
I left their house angry. I drank- What did I drink again? I had a little bit of tequila, white rum, a shot of patron, and some other shit. I can't fucking remember it all. Then I came up here, got undressed and-
I suddenly remembered my break down, and tried not to think about it. But my thoughts began to bombard me.
That was so fucking pathetic. Look at where this shit has got you? Crying on your knees, drunk as hell. What happened to your strength Rose? What happened to your hard exterior? Nothing could bother you or get in your way. And you are letting Bella, weak little Bella, of all people break you down to a pile of soft, mushy shit? Where the fuck is your back bone? Or have you lost it with all the thrust-fucking you did with her?
"Shut the fuck up!" I whisper harshly to myself. I will myself to try to stop thinking. I slowly slide up from my position and sit on the bed, against the pillows. I sit there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, trying to keep my mind blank. Emmett suddenly walks into the bedroom with a glass of water and a container of pills in his hand. He sets the water and pills next to me on the night stand. He then sits on the side of the bed next to me and looks worriedly at me.
"Thanks." I whisper, as I proceed to take two of the pain relievers and drink half of the glass of water. I then lay back against the pillows.
"Babe, I am so sorry." Emmett says, his voice dripping with sympathy and pain. He moves closer to me and envelops me in his big arms. I hold him, enjoying the warmth of embrace.
"You must be hurting so badly right now. Is there anything I can do?" he says with sad sincerity.
"It's whatever Em. I am fine." I say quietly. My voice sounds confident. I am lying through my teeth. But it is something I have done in front of Emmett many times before, so I don't feel the natural remorse that should come with it. He suddenly breaks out of our embrace and stands up quickly, anger painted on his face.
"Bullshit Rose! You are not fine." he accuses me.
"Emmett I am fine okay? Just drop it." I say as I move around on the bed, trying end this conversation.
"How can I believe that? You are always hiding your feelings from me. You are not fine and you know it." he says firmly.
"How the fuck are you going to tell me how I am feeling? You are not me. I. Am. Fine." I say punctuating each word. His nose flares in anger at my words.
"If you are so fine then why the fuck did I find you passed on our bedroom floor? For a second I thought you were dead. If you didn't wake up this morning I was going to take you to the hospital! What the fuck did you do to yourself last night?" he spouts at me, his voice loud. I shake my head and roll my eyes at his dramatics and move to get off the bed.
"Are you using again?" he asks in low, tense voice. His inquiry startles me and I stay put in my place on the edge of the bed.
"Well, are you?" he asks again, pressuring me to answer when I don't reply. I feel myself start to get annoyed by his question.
"Why are you asking me that? I told you, many times, that I would never use again." I say, irritated.
"Are you sure you are telling me the truth?" he says, his voice still tense.
"What the fuck do you mean by that? Of course I am telling you the fucking truth!" I answer angrily and let out a huff.
"Rose, AJ called you last night." he says, as if his statement answers his own question.
AJ called me? We haven't talked in such a long time. Why is he randomly calling me now?
"Just because he called me, does not mean I am using Emmett." I almost growl out at him as I slowly stand to my feet. "And how do you know that he called. Have you been checking my phone?" I say loudly, pissed that my privacy is potentially being violated.
"I had your purse last night. I had remembered that you were expected an important call, so like a good husband, I checked your phone to see if it was possibly that person calling." he replies, sarcasm and anger rolling off his tongue.
"I don't want you checking my phone Emmett." I warn him in a harsh tone.
"Only someone who has something to hide would say that!" he retorts back, nearly yelling.
"You know what!" I yell putting up my hands. "I have a headache, I am hungry and I am tired. I don't want to spend the little energy that I have left arguing you over useless shit. You are being fucking paranoid and you need to stop acting like a little pussy bitch on her period!" I yell at him, letting my words fuel my anger, not think before I speak, like I always do. I see him flinch a little and hurt joins the anger that is already reflected through his gaze.
"I may be acting like a little pussy bitch, but at least I give a fuck about you!" he says loudly, his voice honest. "I put up with all your sarcasm, teasing, name-calling…and…and…shit because I fucking love you! But I can only take so much of it." he says, looking me straight in the eye, before walking out of the room without looking back. I give out a huff and grit my teeth in anger.
Why the fuck is he acting like that? Since when is he the fucking woman in the relationship?
I shake my head in annoyance.
Rose, you hurt him. You didn't have to say that the way you did. He has something called feelings. How do you expect him to react?
My anger wavers as I start to feel guilty. I take a deep sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
"Fuck." I mutter. I never usually feel bad about what I say, but when it comes to Emmett, I have a soft spot in some areas for him. Yes, I lie to him and cheat, but I always hide that from him. It really bothers me when I see him hurting. Knowing Emmett, he has probably gone for a run to work out the anger in his body. So I am alone. And the house is quiet. I know there is a threat for the thoughts and feelings that want to harass me to come, so I distract myself by checking my phone. I go to the chair in the corner of the room and grab my purse. I look through my missed calls and see that the important person that was supposed to call failed to do so. Then I scroll over AJ's name.
I should really call him to see what he wanted. What if he got into some shit that he needs help with?
With hesitation, I dial AJ's number. After a few rings, he picks up.
"Hello?" his gruff voice asks.
"AJ." I say in greeting.
"Well hello to you too Rose." he says, his voice pleasant. "Nice to hear from ya."
"You called." I say bluntly.
"Well thanks for the tip up captain obvious. I was really havin trouble figurin that one out." he says jokingly.
"Look, don't get sarcastic with me okay?" I growl at him.
"Someone is in a bad mood I see." he says teasingly.
"I am not in the mood for games AJ." I say firmly. I hear him chuckle. "Now, why did you call? Is something going on?" I ask skeptical.
"Nothin bad happened. Newbie just said I should give you a call. Not really sure why, but I thought it was a good idea. Haven't heard your voice in a long time." he says casually. I scrunch my face in confusion.
"Who the fuck is newbie?" I ask him.
"Oh! Sorry, I call her newbie. It's your friend….uhhhh…I think her name is…uhhhh…E-…oh that's right. Eve. Yeah your friend Eve." he replies as he finally thinks of the girls name.
"I don't know an Eve." I say, utterly confused.
"Ya don't? Ya sure? Cause she used your name as a reference to get some stuff from me." he says, as he now starts to sound confused.
I don't know anyone named Eve. Why would this person use me as a reference? I stopped referring people to AJ ages ago. How would they know me? Whoever this is must know that I know AJ. He really thinks I know this girl. I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I want to keep him in the dark. He could already get into enough trouble as it is and I don't want to cause more trouble for him.
"Oh yeah! Eve. I totally forgot about her. It's cause I don't see her so often. Yeah, she said she was looking for some stuff, so I told her to go to you. I wanted to be nice and send some business your way." I say, lying smoothly.
"Well thanks for rememberin little old me." he says gratefully.
"No problem. I got to go AJ." I say ending our conversation.
"Ya sure Rose. Catch ya later." I hear him say before I hang up the phone.
My face turns into a mask of anger and I start to pace around the bedroom. All previous thoughts about last night and my screwed up feelings fly out the window as my mind focuses on this new threat.
I can't help but feel that someone is fucking with me. But who could it be? I know some people don't really like me, but I don't think they would waste their time with this.
I stop pacing and stop in my tracks.
What if someone found out that I used to use and is trying to taunt me? If someone that I did not want to know found out about this, it could sabotage so many things for me.
I ball my hands up into fists and my face becomes masked with determination.
I don't know who this Eve bitch is, but I am sure as hell gonna find out.