AN:/ Let me know what you think.

Batman Doesn't 'Do' Magic

Chapter Seven

by: deadlydaisy8o8

Originally Uploaded: Sunday, February 17, 2013, 5:06PM

Batman really hated magic.

Of course this had been said multiple times before, but his level of disdain had evolved to new levels as he continued to attempt to make something out of the numerous books and articles he had collected for research, again.

Truly these people were idiots. There was little to no rhyme or reason to the way they constructed their theses and scholarly reports. The vocabulary was increasingly infuriating, as it was some strange mix between modern British English and Old English, along with having a multitude of other magical words thrown in that required Batman to use his base of Latin to understand the meaning of without context.

Batman supposed that if Witches and Wizards from the 'muggle world' stopped going to school for a standard education in Math, Literature, Science, and History at the age of eleven, that it would lend itself to a population of adults with a comprehension level not developed past that of a first grader. In addition, he had seen no evidence that wizarding children without any 'muggle family' received any sort of formal education until they accepted their letter to this farce of a school.

He was currently immersed in a society that had little to no understanding of basic math and science, along with being inarticulate and unorganized authors. It was no wonder that their society hadn't seemed to have progressed beyond the late eighteen hundreds. It was truly a terrifying spectacle to know that there were so may people out there who didn't know their times tables, but had the ability to do nearly anything with a flick and a word.

As a result of this extreme lack of societal progress, Batman was now sitting in front of what was supposed to be an Encyclopedia of Magical Plants, attempting to gather something from the section on Whomping Willows that was not a bloody recounting of how someone had been murdered by said plant. There was absolutely no useful information readily available beyond that apparently Wizards did not posses an ounce of common sense when they came across a tree that could and would crush them to a bloody pulp. By this point Batman was wondering how so many magical people were still alive.

Batman grunted as he closed the book. It was absolutely useless. He learned more about the tree by looking at it than he did reading about it. He started for a moment when he moved his hand to close the book and it didn't come into view. It was with another grunt that Batman chastised himself for forgetting that Nightmare had fallen asleep clinging to the back of his armor underneath his cape, and that as a result he had vanished along with the bat.

Batman had just discovered this little side effect when he had settled down to start his research on what could have made those paw-prints beneath the Willow, and if it was anything dangerous he should be worried about. As soon as Batman had walked no more than three steps into his rooms the bat had dropped from the ceiling into his hands and maneuvered itself up into its current position on his back underneath his cape. The entire time it trilled and chirped in what could only be dubbed an affectionate manner.

Batman had left Nightmare in his place, one, because he didn't have the energy to deal with the pest right now, and two, he wasn't in the way and he had stopped his annoying chirping. Unfortunately the end of the annoying chirping also signaled the cretin's fall into the land of nod and subsequently Batman's absence from the visual spectrum.

Quite frankly, Batman didn't much care as he stood up, gathered the books he had taken from the library, and headed back topside to return them completely invisible. He would never say it out loud, but it was convenient and less of a hassle to simply walk through the halls invisible, the books hidden beneath his cape, rather than maneuver through the rafters. It seemed that Nightmare had a use after all, if only when he decided that Batman would make an excellent napping post.

It had been a quick thing to slip into the Library, get rid of the books, and get out. The sun was setting and the plan had been to go out and observe more of his surroundings before he had Care of Magical Creatures the next day. The trip would also double as an opportunity to let Nightmare outside. He was not sure how much exercise the creature needed, as once again the authorship of the Wizarding world had failed him in the book he had been handed by the shopkeeper. Regardless Batman was fairly certain that the bat would need some space to stretch its wings. If he were lucky maybe it wouldn't come back and would go off on its own somewhere in the vaunted 'Forbidden Forrest' he had read so much about.

Batman turned down a lesser used corridor, knowing from his run around the roof of the castle the other day that there was a large window he would be able to climb out of instead of using the main entrance to get outside. This way he would get some exercise and refrain from drawing attention to himself.

"I'm not going to help you anymore Flint. I'm an adult now. I won't be pushed around!" Batman easily launched himself up into the rafters as he crept towards the nervous voice.

"You do realize who your talking to? I can pull strings Mandy. I can make sure your last year here is the worst one yet, unless you give me your notes, and do what I tell you."

Batman came closer to the situation and what he saw did not please him. There was a boy, in his upper years, who had cornered a young lady who was apparently in her last year of education. The boy was large, obviously used to using his size to get what he wanted. The girl was smaller, her hair cut short and her robes, although shortened, was still too wide and she was swimming in them.

The boy was leering down at the young lady, an obvious threat to comply with his demands or she would not like what was coming next. Batman silently reached towards his back, shifted his cape to the side, and plucked Nightmare from his perch before hanging him from the rafter. The young woman seemed to shrink ever so slightly before she looked to the side and her countenance hardened.

"No Flint. I am better than you. I'm not going to help you anymore. You can't make me." The boy smiled and revealed a row of dirty poorly kept teeth.

"Why don't we test that theory and see if you still think that's true in a few minutes." The boy stepped even closer, completely invading the girl's personal space. She let out a whimper and braced for impact as the boy's hands came up to grab her arms.

"Leave her." Marcus flinched and looked up to see the voice that had spoken just beside him. Standing beside the two as if he had always been there was Batman. Marcus could not help but feel a thrill of fear travel down his spine. The man was so close, and he had not known he was there until he had spoken. Marcus sneered to cover up his surprise as he replied.

"What's it to you. You have no authority over me. If you're so concerned go get a teacher. In the mean time leave us alone. This is none of your business." Marcus turned back to Mandy who he still had pinned to the wall. Batman narrowed his eyes at the boy before he struck. With a shove of his shoulder almost too quick to process Marcus was sent toppling over sideways and crashing to the floor with such force that he slid a small ways after he was down. Batman stepped forward and occupied the space Marcus had just been standing in. The young lady easily stepped behind him and backed away a few steps. However she was trapped between Marcus and a dead end. The only thing saving her from the Slytherin at the moment was the black pillar in front of her. Batman growled.

"I have no jurisdiction. And I make filth like you my business. Leave. Now." Marcus scrambled off of the floor after he had taken a moment to figure out how he had gotten there. His wand came out of his robes and he pointed it threateningly at Batman.

"I'm not the filth here. You are. Some bloody muggle who can't even show his face. I'll show you filth you freak. Confri-" Marcus' wand was ripped out of his hand and thrown down the hallway as demonic black form with white eyes suddenly filled his vision. Strong iron hands grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed him against the stone wall. Marcus let out an involuntary cry as his head thudded painfully against the rock.

"I don't think you understand. I didn't give you an option." Batman applied pressure to all the right places and forced Marcus' right arm, his wand arm, out if its socket with a sick wet 'pop'. Marcus screamed and tears were now streaming down his face. "I just dislocated your Hummerus. I find you harming anyone again, and I'll break every bone in your arm. Now go." As soon as Batman's hands fell Marcus was peeling down the hallway, so terrified he completely forgot about his wand and just kept running.

When the sound of running footsteps faded completely Batman walked forward and picked up the wand he had disarmed earlier. The young woman was still standing behind him in shock. Her mouth was open and Batman could see her lips were getting dry. The young woman merely continued to stare as he approached her with the wand. Absently she took it when Batman held it out to her expectantly.

"You may return this to its owner however you see fit." Batman waited until he received a slow nod before he walked to the end of the hallway and leapt up to a ledge that decorated the large window. He slipped through the bars and fell silently off the edge and out of sight.

It was another moment that Mandy just stood there before something was fluttering around her and she let out a panicked yell and swatted at it. The bat obliged with her shooing, and directed itself towards the window, flying hastily out after the man that had preceded it.

Batman grunted when he heard a delighted chirping stagger erratically overhead before darting away. He knew that Nightmare would be coming back. That was just how the universe worked. It was too cruel to take the annoying little creature off of his hands.

Instead of dwelling on it, he moved towards an uncharacteristically still whomping willow. He could not hold back a snort of exasperation when he saw that the tree had been bandaged up with slings and ice packs as if it were a person. He half expected to find a thermometer lying around somewhere. When he approached, the willow seemed to almost whine and sway away from him like a kicked puppy, shivering. Batman ignored the reaction and moved towards the burrow that sat in its roots.

The moonlight was scarce, as the moon was only half full, but in the cloudless night it provided enough light for Batman to re-establish that indeed, it was the track of a canine, not any other creature that possessed paws. Studying the tracks further he noticed something unusual. The direction that the tracks were pointed in indicated that the animal only ever came out of the burrow, never did it go in. There were however, multiple trails that indicated the creature had come out of the burrow fairly frequently. This would indicate that there was another entrance to the burrow that was not underneath the Whomping willow that the creature used.

And though the burrow was large enough to allow batman to crawl through, this would not be the best plan of action as he did not know if the animal was in the burrow, and if he would be able to defend himself adequately against it. His first encounter with the creature would preferably be in an environment that allowed a quick getaway.

Instead Batman examined the direction of the tracks once more and traced their trajectory. The most obvious destination for the creature once it had left its burrow would be the forest. The direction of the tracks leaving the burrow supported this conclusion, but there was nothing to say that the dog had not simply turned once he had made it to the grass. Never the less, Batman walked to the edge of the forest and examined the edge for any signs that a creature was regularly moving in and out of the woods.

It was a largely wasted effort. It was too dark out for batman to discern any incriminating details, and the shadows of the forest blocked what little light he might have gotten from the moon. Batman knew there were a common light charm that he could use in place of his currently malfunctioning flashlight, but this inquiry of what lived under the tree was merely a curiosity and was not overly important enough to warrant any serious investigating, let alone a use of magic. It was simply something that had caught his attention due to its odd placement beneath a tree that literally beat the life off of what would live on or near it with its own limbs.

Batman's trail had run cold for the time being, and being such there really was no reason for Batman to remain outside. There were other things he could do with his time. He still had copious amounts of research to do and he needed to practice the Patronus charm so that he could call it forth with more ease. However Batman did neither of those things, and instead decided to walk along the perimeter of the Forbidden Forrest. He justified this to himself by saying he was merely surveying the perimeter of the grounds he was currently housed on, but Batman knew he was kidding himself. With the absence of his crime fighting activities, or really any strenuous activity, he was becoming restless. He needed to move his body before he would be able to settle down and attempt to slug through any more magical texts.

Though he did do an admirable job of sticking to his pretense, peering into he forest and listening intently to the sounds that emitted from within. Admittedly there were very few. At least with Batman's experience, the forest, even at night, should have been much louder than this one currently was. The lack of noise was disturbing as it indicated that there were predators in the forest that had eliminated, or would eliminate any smaller creatures that made any noise.

It was in part, due to the silence, that Batman was able to pick up the light huff of some large animal, that otherwise would have been indistinguishable. Batman had ventured a good ways from the castle, enough that he could clearly see its entire silhouette against the night sky. A small village, he had known to be called Hogsmade, was starting to come into view. Batman stopped and sunk into the shadow of a large tree at the edge of the forest before he listened again, for any noise. He did not want to be near any animal large enough to exhale as he had just heard without knowing what he was up against.

Batman calmed himself and slowed his own breathing to better listen. He strained his ears and he could just hear a light shuffling of leaves as something walked along. Correctly identifying the direction of the animal Batman climbed up the trunk of the tree for his own safety and a better vantage point.

Batman looked deeper into the dark forest and attempted to make out any animal moving around, but underneath the canopy it was truly dark as pitch. Without his night vision lenses, he would have to wait for the creature to move closer to the edge, which was his current position, or wait for the noise to fade as the creature moved away. Until he could identify if the animal was a danger to him, he was not going to risk ignoring the noise and continuing on.

Fortunately or unfortunately the creature did not seem to be moving away, but towards Batman's position. As the noise got louder and closer it became apparent that there was more than one. In fact there were several. If batman had to say he would hazard a guess of four or five. The creature either possessed long legs or shuffled slowly, as the incrimite between footsteps was rather too long to be something in a great hurry.

And as Batman remained completely motionless, staring at where he knew the creature to be from the ruckus it was making but still unable to actually see it, something slowly walked out of the pitch.

It was a thestral. Several of them. Four to be exact.

After retrieving his wand Batman had made a point to find out what Thestrals were and why they were so special. What the wandmaker had said was parroted by every text he picked up. They were only visible to those who had seen death. He also learned, from 'Hogwarts a History' that there was a domesticated herd that lived in the Forbidden forest, and was used to pull the carriages too and from the train station. This caused him to recall Hagrids conversation with him days previous before they had gone to Diagon Alley. He too had described the herd as benign and altogether harmless.

It appeared that he was having his very first encounter with this domestic herd. And he knew with his very bones, that when the horses stepped out of the dark, all specifically looking up at him, that his sons would all be laughing at him. Because what he was essentially looking at now was a heard of Bat-horses. They had white eyes, like those of his cowl, their wings were leathery, like those of a bat, and every single one was colored black as pitch.

The fact that his wand was made with the tail hair of one of these creatures now made infinitely more sense.

Batman watched the creatures for a moment, silently determining f they were as domestic as Hagrid claimed. And when the creatures merely stared benignly up at him, but made no move as if they were aggravated with his presence. Batman allowed himself to fall from the branch and to the ground within the group of skeletal horses.

The horses let out short huffs of surprise at his sudden dissent, beating the ground lightly with their hooves to indicate their displeasure with Batman's abrupt appearance, but otherwise they did not protest further. Batman froze in a crouch on the ground and waited for the horses to react negatively to his presence but none did. Instead they slowly plodded closer bobbing their heads as they approached.

Batman slowly rose from his crouch to be level with the creatures and not be accidentally stepped on. As soon as he was fully erect, one of the horses standing before him lightly nudged its head against Batman's arm, maneuvering its nose beneath Batman's cape and nudging its head in such a way as to encourage Bruce to pet it.

Bruce was now absolutely positive that all of his sons would be on the ground rolling in laughter. Batman rolled his eyes beneath his cowl as he raised his hand and obliged with the thestral's wish to be pet. Bruce raised his hand and stroked the patch of skin between its eyes and up between its twitching ears. The Thestral huffed appreciatively and pushed back against Bruce's hand.

Absently Bruce started petting a second thestral when it too had nuzzled its way underneath Batman's cape and was nudging his other arm insistently. But of course the remaining two thestrals did not want to be left out and were soon shoving their counterparts away from Bruce's hand so that they could be pet themselves. So Bruce was left frantically trying to placate four thestrals at once.

It didn't' take long for Bruce to start to feel absolutely ridiculous. He was batman for Christ's sake. He did not have to oblige the whims of wild death beasts. So with one last pet for each horse he put his arms down and let his cape fall around him. And when the horses tried to get underneath the fabric once again, Batman held the edges in place as they butted their heads up against his person. So Batman remained a motionless pillar for a short moment while the thestrals butted up against his back and chest in light frustration. However after it was clear that Batman was not going to be their petting machine any longer they desisted and turned their attention elsewhere.

Batman relaxed slightly when the creatures turned away from him to bother other things. Batman would deny even thinking as much if asked, but this was a moment when Batman was grateful that electronics did not function on these grounds. As that meant that there was no way that anyone could have recorded the little episode that had just happened and use it for blackmail. However if Batman had to choose, he would infinitely prefer thestrals who were overly friendly to ones who wanted to take a bite out of him.

The thestrals, though having wandered immediately away from his person, were still staying within his range, if only milling about and sniffing at the ground or trees. Batman took a moment o appreciate the bizarreness of what had just happened before he turned and made to start walking back towards the castle.

Batman had to tell himself not to be surprised when the thestrals instead of leaving him to go his separate way, immediately made to follow him. The animals silently trotted up beside him on the grass that lined the edge of the grounds and started to once again huff and bob their heads at him, as if to get his attention. Batman did his best to ignore the creatures. He was not going to cave to the whims of some horses because they did not want him to leave. Truly, he did not need to be out here, or be distracted when he could be doing something productive.

Batman maneuvered quickly out of the way when one of the horses made to forcefully bump up against him. It was then that Batman was forced to stop when with a loud bray of frustration one of the horses trotted in front of him, preventing his movement forward. However before Batman could think of walking around the creature, it was lowering its front legs and had knelt on the ground, it also held its wings forward as to expose its back.

A quick look to the side and behind him to see that the remaining thestrals had blocked all possible paths of escape, and Batman resigned himself with a sigh. Being from the wealth as he was Batman knew what the horse wanted. It had lowered itself so that Bruce could easily mount it. Bruce supposed that if he were taken away from here to some death trap that at least it would be away from this insane school and their vaunted magic.

So it was with no other option that did not include fighting the four horses around him that Batman made to mount the thestral that had settled before him. The horse was thin, and as he sat on its near skeletal frame he was thankful for his armor to cushion his seat. He gripped the thestrals rib cage with his thighs as it rose up from the ground. And easily moved with it as it started to accelerate from a walk to a trot to a canter, and then with only one swift movement of its wings as warning, into flight.

Batman raised his eyebrows beneath his cowl when the thestral only seemed to be heading towards the castle. Once they were airborne it was seconds before the thestral had landed gently on the roof beside a window that Batman would be able to climb through to get back into the castle.

With a shake of its head and a huff the thestral lowered itself to its knees again to allow Bruce to dismount. Bruce did so in an easy motion and as the horse rose he gave the creature an affectionate pat. The horse bobbed its head as if to dismiss Bruce's thankful motion and with that it turned and pumped its wings to go join the other three of its herd still waiting at the edge of the forest.