Naruto Uzumaki and the Chunin Exams (Re-Written) Chapter 14: The Toad Sage, a Harry Potter + Naruto Crossover fanfic

"Blah": Talking

'Blah': Demon speaking/Inner Sakura

'Blah': Naruto's thoughts/other people's thoughts

'Blah': Harry talking to Naruto

Hello! I'm back with the newest chapter! Naruto meets Jiraiya for the first time and he has his extra seal removed. I also added a few more details here and there that will help set the stage for the next book. But earlier last week, I checked some of the old reviews I received from the old version of this chapter. Some people said the scene near the end was pretty funny, but I thought the scene I wrote was kinda juvenile to say the least, including a scene where Jiraiya strangles Naruto like Homer does to Bart on The Simpsons after he used a curse that blinded him. I decided to remove some of those bits, make the situations more rational or realistic, and I only hope you guys can still find some humor here and there.

Azeroth44: (arrives in the lair with an evil burst of black smoke) Ah... But I liked the over-the-top craziness!

K: Of course, you would like it, Azeroth!

AZ44: Coming from someone would still likes Linkin Park.

K: SHUT IT! LINKIN PARK IS STILL AWESOME!

AZ44: And that's your opinion.

K: GRRRRRRRR!

AZ44: That reminds me, the promise you made, dude!

K: Oh! Azeroth44 would like to make an announcement! Go ahead then, man.

AZ44: I wanted to announce that the next chapter of my Doctor Who/Naruto crossover is coming soon; it has been planned out somewhat but it might it be another month or two. It is NOT being completely rebooted, it shall continue from where I left off. Also, I wanted to announce that the first monsters to be encountered are the Silurians. The Silurians will be seen at the end of the new chapter.

K: Good decisions, dude.

AZ44: About time you let me make that announcement.

K: Anyway, here's the newest chapter, folks! And I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as possible! Have fun!

(WARNING: Use and mention of alcohol and drugs.)

Remember: Reviews are welcome and wanted!

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Harry Potter is property of JK Rowling

Chapter 14: The Toad Sage

The next morning, Naruto awoke in his shared bed in Iruka's bedroom, alone this time. As he stretched out his arms and sat on the rather oversized mattress, he could smell bacon and toast, which meant Iruka was wide-awake and had cooked breakfast this time. Naruto left the bedroom and headed to the kitchen, and smiled to see his friend Hayate was at the table with his mouth full of toast. Then he remembered the swordsman decided to remain at the house and cover all the details of their secret alliance. Iruka was in the kitchen and tended to the bacon he could smell from the bedroom. The two adults soon noticed their little friend walk in.

Iruka offered a subtle nod and said, "Mornin'!"

"Mornin'!" said the blonde wizard.

Hayate raised his hand and said with his mouth full of warm bread, "Yo!"

Naruto smiled and sat down at the table and took in the warm aroma that filled the house. His mouth watered at the bacon as he listened to it cook and sizzle on the stove.

"Bacon and toast?" the tan-skinned chunin offered his brother.

Naruto nodded and then he noticed how limited their breakfast items were, "No hotcakes this time, aniki?"

"Nah," he answered, "We ran out of the batter mix last week."

The blonde wizard then asked, "What about rice?"

"Sumo wrestlers and rich folk with wide backs eat rice for breakfast, Naruto," his older brother stated as the swordsman across the table snorted a little bit.

Naruto let out a small chuckle and went to town on his breakfast, "Bacon's fine."

For a while, the three shinobi sat there at the table and ate in silence. All of them still tried to soak in the events from the last afternoon: Naruto was enthusiastic and relieved to have someone new know about his secret, but he was still worried about the future and how others would react to his talents once he revealed them. Iruka felt about the same as his brother, while Hayate was keen to see more magic like he saw with the snow and ice. But at the same time, the swordsman reminded himself that the secret he was entrusted with was a dangerous one, so he didn't think it wise to ask if he can see more.

For a while, no one made a sound at the table, until Hayate decided to break the silence while he smothered his toast with butter.

Hayate turned to Naruto and asked, "So what's the plan today, kiddo?"

"Well… I have to see Jiraiya to fix the damn demon seal," the child answered as he showed them the list he received from the old man, "The Sandaime lent me this list of locations where I'll find him. It's kinda ridiculous and tedious, but I'll have this damn demon-business sorted out and over with."

Iruka then asked his little brother, "How does it feel?"

"To be honest," the blonde wizard answered, as he felt his muscles and chakra coils start to burn from the constant strain, "It feels a lot worse… Nii-san has tried to ease the tension for me and asked me to use more magic to compensate. Which reminds me…"

Naruto then withdrew his wand from out of his shirt and aimed it at the mantle in the next room. There was a small but audible whistle in the air and then a series of loud clicks of metal, brass, and wood as the mantle clock was fixed and read the correct time. It was the same clock that was broken before Naruto's mission to the Land of Waves. The two shinobi in the kitchen sat and stared at the clock as it started to tick back to normal. While Naruto chewed on his toast, somewhat bored as he rest his wand on the table and returned to his breakfast.

"… I needed to fix that old clock for a while," he said and then bit into his toast.

Hayate let out a small childish smile and whistled, "That is so cool…"

"You'll be used to it soon," smiled the tan-skinned chunin, "But it is kinda awesome!"

As soon as Naruto finished his breakfast and rest at the table, he contact his older brother and checked in on the condition of his chakra flow. He had to have it sorted soon; otherwise he would have a room at the ICU with his name on it. The blonde wizard excused himself and went off to look for his clothes, determined to abandon his old tracksuit for the much favored survival outfit. But when he looked around the bedroom, he couldn't find them.

"Iruka?" he called out from the hall, "Where are the clothes I had on for the exams?"

The tan-skinned chunin answered, "I set out some new clothes on the bathroom seat. Your old clothes are on the towel rack. Don't touch them, those clothes need to be washed."

"Oh, but I like the new outfit! Can't I wear it this once?!" he whined back.

Iruka told him back, "Those trousers and that shirt are covered in sweat and blood, Naruto. Don't waste time on them. I'll take the clothes down to the cleaners and have them fixed this afternoon."

"Ok… Fine…" the blonde-haired wizard sulked as he marched to the bathroom.

After Naruto closed the door behind him, he looked to the toilet seat and saw the outfit his brother had chosen for him. It was a set of dark blue trousers, and a white hoodie with two thick dark blue lines that stretched from the shoulders down to the sleeves. Naruto didn't care much for the outfit and turned to his soiled survival uniform. Back in the kitchen, the swordsmaster had some coffee and started to smirk as he turned towards Iruka.

He chuckled, "I bet he'll use some charm to clean them thick and fast."

"You do know Naruto well…" the chunin looked a little bit shocked and then he started to smirk back at his new friend.

Back in the bathroom, Naruto withdrew his wand, aimed it at the uniform and muttered, "Reparo!"

But as the fabrics were stitched and fixed to their finest condition, Naruto's world was shaken when he heard his older brother boom at him with his infamous stern-teacher voice: "DON'T USE MAGIC! LET ME CLEAN THEM!"

"Awwww!" the teen whined as he turned on the shower and settled with the hoodie.

Once Naruto was showered and dressed, he looked fresh and new, other than how thin and somewhat tired he looked from his chakra exhaustion. He walked out the hall to see his friends on the couch in the central room. He wanted to bid them farewell before he started his training. But as he walked in, Hayate stared at him with a sad but reflective look about his face. Naruto never noticed it as the swordsman remembered how much the child resembled his father; even his clothes were almost identical. But he would not tell him that until Sarutobi decided to tell him first.

"Well then, I'm off to see the Sannin!" he announced as he waltzed out the door

Iruka called out, "Good luck! You look nice!"

"You know I could do better!" remarked the blonde wizard.

The chunin sat back on the couch and smirked as the door closed shut, "Smartass."

Once the two adults were certain that Naruto had left, Iruka switched on the television set while Hayate checked the windows for onlookers and noted how few windows there were. The chunin noticed the Tokubetsu look over his shoulders, like he was about to make a dark business deal with some lowlifes or crack addicts.

He then said as he reached into the inner confines of his vest, "Well… Now that Naruto is out, and we're all alone with not much else to do until he comes back… Soooo…" the man then withdrew a translucent sack filled to the brim with marijuana cigarettes and showed them to a bewildered Iruka, "Wanna kill off a few hours?"

"Zoinks…" muttered the somewhat reluctant chunin.

Naruto walked down the streets and visited each location that was on the list. He checked the fried chicken restaurant but no one famous was there. Naruto then moved on to search the fields, the Administration Building, the romance bookstore, and then he decided to take a break a few blocks from the Konoha hot springs. The blonde-haired wizard was exhausted from his travels, out of breath, and his muscles were so sore that he had to rest on a bench. While he sat down, his head raced with ideas on what Kakashi had in store to teach him and what Sasuke would learn too. Naruto still had no idea how he would be able to counter the Gentle Fist taijutsu, unless Kakashi taught him an advanced distance-based technique. But he didn't have time to wonder and wanted to find out first-hand once he had this seal fixed.

Naruto forced himself to stand and marched toward the bathhouses. While he walked down the road, Naruto started to notice the street around him seemed different somehow. Whenever he was alone on the streets he could hear the subtle murmur of redundant insults aimed at him or noticed most of the citizens around him not even look at him or threw him a cold look on the rare occasion when someone did look at him. But this time around, he didn't hear even one insult and almost no one threw him that cold look. There were still some bad folk about town that treated him the same as before, but this time around, Naruto didn't sense as much hatred or bitterness. At least a fraction of that shared disdain seemed to vanish out of thin air.

'Well, look at that… Looks like the idiots in this town have finally started to learn…'

Naruto smiled at the comment and continued his trek to the find the Sannin.

The blonde wizard arrived to the bathhouses but he didn't have to wait in order to see something interesting. When he crossed the redwood bridge over the smooth rivers of hot water he looked across the court towards the visitor's entrance before he heard a familiar and unwelcome voice boom out at random, near the woman's bathhouse.

"YOU FOUL PEEPING TOM! I FORBID YOU FROM COMMITTING SUCH DISREPUTABLE BEHAVIOR!"

It was Ebisu, former mentor to Konohamaru and the town's most obnoxious and self-righteous Tokubetsu shinobi. He still wore the same clothes and had the same dark sunglasses that shadowed his small but incisive eyes. Naruto felt irritated and exhausted to see him; well-aware of his blind hatred of him because of the demon fox and sick to death of his outlandish attitude. He must have assumed Naruto came to the bathhouses to sneak a look at the naked women in the female baths. The blonde wizard almost reached for his wand to silence him and erase a few of his most recent memories, but then the wizard saw Ebisu dash towards someone else. Naruto looked in his direction, towards the women's bath, and saw a massive white-haired man huddled next to a small hole carved in the wall of the bathhouse.

Ebisu roared as he ran after the enormous huddled man, but before the obnoxious shinobi had a chance to kick the other man out, the huddled man caused a blast of white smoke to billow out from beneath him. When the smoke cleared, Ebisu let out a scream when a massive toad-like creature came into existence. The toad was the size of a dinosaur, at least thirteen feet tall and ten feet wide. Ebisu tried to turn around and flee but it was too late. The toad stretched out its wide maw and shot out its elastic tongue with the force of a canon. Ebisu was hit in the stomach and rendered unconscious before he crash-landed in the hot water reserves.

Naruto stood still and stared at the random scene that unfolded in front of him. He looked at Ebisu as was cooked like a lobster and then back at the huddle toad-man. The man aboard the massive creature seemed laid back and cool as he commented on his actions in front of Naruto.

"Ebisu… You're a moron… It's been like this ever since he was a kid…. He tries to act like a heroic citizen and ruins the afternoon fun-time for all the rest of us!"

The man's voice was low, warm, and he sounded tough and well fed. He soon dismissed the enormous toad he sat on and land down in front of Naruto. The wizard held his breath and looked to see the man was almost as enormous as the toad he summoned. The once huddled man was colossal. He must have stood up eight or nine feet tall from Naruto's point of view. To him at his size, this man was without a doubt the tallest and most enormous man he had ever seen in his life. Naruto had to walk backwards back and retreat from his massive shadow in order to see his face.

The tall man had a well-toned face and a broad chin that was at least two inches wide. He had beetle-black eyes that were full of fire and rich with experience. From each of his lower eyelids, a half-inch thick red tattoo line ran down his cheeks and ended at the base of his jaw. The man's hair was white, extensive, and barbed. All of his hair was tied back and flowed down his back and ended over his rear end, like a tail. He also had two shoulder-length bangs that framed the sides of his face. With the sheer mass of his hair and the red tattoos on his face, the man looked like a mammoth-sized kabuki actor or an obsessed fan of the kabuki arts. His also wore attire that reflected that idea; his clothes were olive-colored and sort of looked like he wore a kabuki tunic with slack trousers of the same color. Over the tunic, the man wore a red cloak-like vest with two yellow circles over each breast on the vest. And to finish the ensemble, the tall toad-man wore traditional Japanese wooden sandals. Naruto looked into his face and then he turned white when he noticed the toad-man stare down at him and smile. He was unsettled and couldn't seem to move as the man towered over him.

"Uhhh…" the teen stammered.

"You must be the kid Sarutobi-sensei asked me to see," the man crossed his massive arms and then he asked, "What was your name again?"

Naruto hesitated before he stood taller and answered, "Naruto… I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

The tall man stood, silent for a moment as he stared down at the blonde kid with an unreadable look. Then he smirked and bounced backwards to summon the same toad he used to attack Ebisu. He stood on the head of the creature he summoned and almost seemed to dance as he made a loud and outlandish introduction.

The man roared as if he announced his name and title for the whole world to hear, "The name's Jiraiya! I am one of the Legendary Sannin! The Wise and Powerful Toad Sage! Famous world-renowned author, womanizer, and untamable sex-machine!"

Naruto and his older brother stared at the Sannin with blank, uncomfortable looks frozen on their faces. At first, the blonde wizard wanted to snort in laughter at how ridiculous the Sannin looked while he executed his wild kabuki dance on the toad, but then he felt a little disturbed as he watched him dance in a more sexual manner when he mentioned he was a womanizer and then shook his waist about like Elvis when he said he was a sex-machine.

As soon as the Sannin finished his dance and rested on his toad, Naruto took a few seconds of silence before he found his voice.

"What the… bloody hell was that all about?!"

Jiraiya became discontented at Naruto's comment on his entrance and shouted, "HEY! I am an incredible shinobi! And I've come from across the other side of the world to be here and fix that troublesome containment seal! So be thankful that I'm even here, brat, and let me have an entrance to celebrate a rare arrival!"

"Well, I think I would have been more amazed had the wise and renowned Sannin decided to show his face on time the first time around," the blonde wizard retort in a hot tone.

The Sannin was about to shout back at the child but then he froze and held his breath until he seemed to realize, "Oh… Wait… Were we meant to meet about the seal last week?"

"Yes!" the wizard hissed.

Jiraiya asked him to confirm, "In the tower of the Forest of Death?"

"Yes!" the blonde kid shouted as he nodded.

The toad-like man reeled back a bit and acted more uncomfortable and awkward, "Ohhh… I think I should have double-checked the letter Sarutobi sent me…"

"It doesn't matter," the blonde-haired wizard shook his head and asked, "You can still fix the seal, right?"

Jiraiya soon smiled and he announced, "Of course I can! I wouldn't be here if I couldn't! Let's sort this mess out, kiddo! Come with me…"

The Sannin then led Naruto around the bathhouses to a more secluded location. Naruto could remember this isolated location near the bathhouses. Back when he was all alone after Hayate was forced to leave and before Naruto met Harry, he used to come around here to bathe in the hot water and wash his dirtied clothes for free. He did this back when his landlord shut down the hot water in his room, and no one ever found out about his free bath, when the water wasn't too hot.

Naruto continued to follow the tall, toad-like man in silence until his older brother wondered about the unusual man.

'If this man is an author,I'm afraid to ask what kind of books he writes…'

'You think I should I ask him?'

'I dunno… Go on ahead…'

Jiraiya motioned Naruto towards the end of the isolated area, the same location where he let his clothes to be dried out while he bathed in the hot water. To distract himself from the darker memories of his childhood, Naruto turned to the Sannin, curious but cautious about what kind of literature he wrote, based on his dance he did earlier.

"You write books, then, Jiraiya-san?" he asked.

Jiraiya smiled as he held onto the front ends of his red cloak-like vest and he boasted, "That is correct, kiddo! I'm a famous writer! I've written a series of successful books that made me a household name!"

"Have I read one of them?" the wizard asked.

But then the Sannin let out a heart-filled laugh as he blushed a little bit, "Hahahahaha! You're not the kind of audience I aim to entertain!"

Naruto frowned and then he froze still when Jiraiya withdrew a small but familiar book from his tunic. It was Kakashi's favorite book series, Icha-Icha Paradise, also known as Make-Out Paradise, the erotic and obscene series of romantic novels. Naruto's face turned white and he shivered as he stared into Jiraiya's massive and boastful face.

He announced as he let an excited smile stretch across his face, "I am the acclaimed author of this bravura romance book series!"

"YOU'RE SICK," the blonde wizard shouted, "That's a smut book! I heard all about that series! It's full of sex and trash! You're a PERVERT!"

"You fool," the Sannin's smile fell at once and then he unleashed a rant that could be heard from across the bathhouses, "DON'T JUDGE ME BASED ON THE CONTENT OF MY BELOVED BOOK SERIES! THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THAT LOVE MY WORK WITH THE ARRANGEMENT OF SOFISTICATED CHARACTERS AND UNUSUAL SITUATIONS! MILLIONS DARE CALL ME A GENIUS! IN FACT, I'M HERE AT THE HOT SPRINGS FOR RESEARCH ON MY NEXT VOLUME!"

Naruto's face twitched in irritation when he realized the reason he was at the bathhouses, "Research… YOU ARE A PEEPING-TOM! For a kid like me, it would be considered mischievous! You must be at least twice as old as Kakashi–sensei! I hate to be on the same side as someone like Ebisu, but that's criminal behavior! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SICK OLD MAN?!"

"BAKA!" the Sannin's face was almost identical to Naruto's as the two of them shouted at each other and he retorted the child's comment with, "I am no criminal! To sneak a look at a blessed, naked woman fills me with the inspiration and fuels me release the finest and most accurate material!"

Naruto then shouted back at the tall man, "Yeah! Go blather on and on! But when it comes to the crunch, it's still a dumb excuse to stare at an oblivious woman and then wank! You're a sick little PERVERT!"

"DON'T YOU STIFLE MY RESEARCH, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" the Sannin shouted and then he said in a more controlled and adult voice, "And for the record, I am not a little pervert!"

"You're not? I find that hard to believe! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THEN?!"

Jiraiya then let out another loud but low chuckle that made him sound huskier than he looked, before he looked down at Naruto and said in a weird voice that he wormed around with his fingers, "I'm a BIG ONE!"

Naruto lowered his advances, amazed and exhausted at the man's childish behavior. At first, he believed this man would be a true master shinobi, eccentric but wise. But instead, he found him to be a loud, obnoxious, eccentric, and sex-obsessed childish man.

He then muttered to himself in defeat, "This moron was one of Sandaime's students… it's no wonder he never talked about him..."

'I… I am at a loss for words…'

As soon as the theatrics were over, Jiraiya and Naruto were forced to move to a more secluded location near the bathhouses. After their almost constant shouts at each other, the two of them attracted too much attention and moved to a new location. The two of them moved to one of the other water reserves with a waterfall, some bushes, and decorative boulders. Once settled, the Sannin made Naruto face him and the man crouched down to his level.

"Take off the shirt, then, brat," he ordered, "Show me the seal."

With hesitation, Naruto did as he was told and removed his hoodie and t-shirt. Jiraiya then examined Naruto's stomach and searched for the black seal that would have been there.

The Sannin frowned, "I can't see it. Go on and mold some chakra. We should be able to see it then."

Naruto rubbed his hands and tried to focus his chakra. But it was a lot more difficult than it needed to be. Orochimaru's intervention had taken its toll and Naruto started to sweat and blush as he tried to feel that warmth that would have swelled within him whenever he created a shadow clone. But he couldn't feel even a little bit warm as his stomach churned and all the blood rushed down from his head when he tried. However, Naruto's efforts were not in vain as the tattoo-seal formed on the surface of his skin. Jiraiya reached out and rested his massive hand on the tattoo. Naruto would have flinched at the touch, but Jiraiya's hands (while decorated with the scars and burns from various battles) felt somewhat familiar to him and he didn't retreat from the touch.

"There it is…"

The Sannin traced the seal with his sausage-like fingers and frowned. He seemed familiar with the seal and he started to smile as if he had some sort of emotional attachment to the craftsmanship. But then the enormous white-haired man realized what was different about the seal when Naruto winced and felt the strain on his chakra coils worsen. Jiraiya saw five unwelcome marks located around the main seal on Naruto's stomach. The Sannin recognized the new craftsmanship as the work of his old teammate.

"Here's the trouble," he announced, "Orochimaru has thrown on an uneven seal over the old one. Your chakra control is faltered because of this extra seal and it's caused the chakra coils to become restrained with little chakra is able to flow through them, like a like series of blocked arties."

Naruto asked; "You can still fix it then?"

Jiraiya removed the gauntlet on his right hand and hid it behind his back. He then smiled as he stood tall and Naruto knew from the look on his face that he must have faked it in order to lure him into a false sense of security.

"Ok, brat, raise those little sticks for arms, like this and shout: Banzai!" he said as the man raised his arms to the heavens.

Naruto looked about for an adult to save him but he did as he was instructed but with a lack of real effort, "Erm… Banzai?"

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" the Sannin roared as he thrust his hand into Naruto's stomach.

The blonde wizard was thrown back as he wheezed and the wind was knocked clean out of him. Naruto landed on his back and curled into a fetal position. His stomach burned as the skin around his navel sizzled. Steam rolled off from Jiraiya's massive hands, as he noticed steam also rolled off from where he drove his hand. Back within his subconscious, Harry watched as the smooth wall that blocked him from access into the demon fox's chamber cracked. The seal that formed each time he tried to break into it was visible one last time, before the force field cracked and the concrete wall blasted into rubble and dust. The older wizard retreated back to his chambers as he soon sensed an incredible amount of demonic chakra flood out from the bars that held the demon back and flowed down the main corridor. The demon chakra was reverted into normal chakra and soon the balance of Naruto's chakra flow was restored and his coils returned to normal.

Naruto crawled on the floor and tried to stand, his hands stuck to his sore stomach while he wheezed.

"Oww… That hurt, dammit!"

Jiraiya smiled as he watched the extra seals crumble from around the seal, "Now it's time to take the new chakra control to the test."

"What? How?!"

The Sannin led Naruto over to the hot water while he was still hunched over his stomach nonetheless. The blonde wizard tried his best to maintain his distance from the water, well aware that it was hot enough to boil someone alive. But the Sannin insisted he move in closer to the water and went so far as to force him to walk towards it.

"Go ahead," the tall, white-haired man insisted.

Naruto turned to the man and asked as he still moaned from the abuse he suffered, "Go ahead and do what?"

"Go ahead and walk on the water," said the Sannin.

Naruto looked at him as if he were insane, "I can't walk on water! I'm not the son of Christ!"

"Don't tell me…" the tall man started as he started to realize Naruto did not learn some of the more advanced chakra control exercises, "You don't even know how to do it?"

The blonde wizard shook his head and the Sannin let him walk back from the water and whined, "Looks like I have to teach this kid then…"

Jiraiya sat down on the floor and crossed his legs while he insisted Naruto sit down as well and listen to him, "Have you ever seen another shinobi create the illusion of walking on water? Your jounin instructor must have demonstrated this exercise sometime while on a mission."

Naruto had calmed down and he tried to think back to time when he recalled a similar occurrence. He did remember when Iruka lectured his class on various chakra control exercises and he did mention a bit where a man walked on water. And then he remembered his mission to the Land of Waves and both Kakashi and Zabuza Momochi stood and ran across the water of the lake. But the situation was so dire and extreme at the time that Naruto didn't seem to notice the remarkable feat until now.

"Y-Yeah! I do remember now!" the blonde wizard answered.

Jiraiya then continued, "In order to walk on water, a shinobi must have the basics down on the tree-climbing exercise. You at least learned how to do that, kid?"

Naruto nodded.

Satisfied with the answer, the Sannin continued his lecture, "Good! But to walk on water is a lot more difficult than that. The idea of tree climbing is to set the correct amount of chakra into the soles of the feet and stick to a solid surface, such as a tree, wall, or even a wire. To walk on water is similar but there is one distinct difference: A shinobi must focus chakra out from the soles of the feet in a constant flow."

Jiraiya then drew out a Japanese wine bottle from his coat and took a drink of what looked to be sake or vodka. Naruto looked at him with slight unease as he saw his carved out cheeks start to blush. The blonde wizard was never comfortable around others who drank alcohol like water or soda. It reminded him of his old landlord and a few other citizens in Konoha that were the meanest to him.

"You have to build and release chakra out from the feet, like peg legs under the water. But because water is not solid, a shinobi must release enough chakra to push from the water and be able to stand on the surface. But whoever does this, also has to balance their chakra at a constant rate in order to keep standing."

Naruto listened to the lecture and then he asked out of caution, "But wouldn't the constant flow of chakra leave me afloat until I move?"

Jiraiya took another drink of hard alcohol and said, "No, the constant chakra flow is like… if someone had rockets on their shoes. And the shinobi would remain afloat if he or she were to maintain that constant exertion of chakra."

"So, I wouldn't run out of chakra if I were to fight someone on a river or a lake for a about… five minutes?" the blonde wizard asked.

"You shouldn't," answered the Sannin, "You would have to maintain the battle on water for at least an hour before chakra exhaustion starts to hit."

He then corked his bottle and motioned toward at the water reserve, "So let's test it out now!"

Naruto felt the intense soreness in his stomach and chakra coils start to fade at last. He could now heal as fast as he used to. But he didn't have time to waste as he walked toward the hot water. He could feel the intense heat of the reserve bubble beneath him. He started to sweat and tried to focus as much chakra as he could down to his feet and let it flow out from his soles at a constant rate. He should have felt tired and restrained while he did so, but Naruto was relieved to feel that familiar warmth flow within him. He could feel his chakra, smooth and fluent.

Naruto then remembered what Jiraiya told him, and he continued to let his chakra leave his feet, like rocket-boots. He swallowed down and hovered his foot above the water and froze. He hesitated to set his foot down on the water, too scared to let his foot be burned or fall in and be boiled red like Ebisu.

Jiraiya waited for five minutes to see Naruto set his foot down before he had had it and shouted, "WILL YOU JUST JUMP IN ALREADY?!"

Naruto flinched from the scream and fell forward into the water. His foot broke the smooth surface of the water reserve and he waited for the white-hot water to consume and boil him alive. But his feet met a solid surface as he stumbled forward. Naruto blinked and then he looked down to see both his feet hover over the white hot water, his zori sandals immersed in no more than a centimeter of water.

"Hahahaha! Hoo-hah! Woo-hoo! Look at me! I can do it! I can walk on water!" the blonde shinobi cried as he ran across the water, victorious, now that his chakra control was back to normal.

Jiraiya smiled, his mission successful, he waved his hand in farewell, "Well, now that I have done my job and done it well, it's time for me to say goodbye and return to my research! Farewell, kiddo!"

Naruto ceased his victorious dance number when a brilliant idea hit him. The Sannin were some of the finest shinobi in the world; one of them was a criminal, the female Sannin's whereabouts were unknown, but the third one was in Konoha, and a brilliant teacher to boot. Naruto looked to the white-haired man and smiled in excitement and determination.

"Wait a minute!" he called over, "Hold on a second!"

He ran across the water reserve, threw his hoodie back on, and almost ran into the solid human mass that was the Sannin. The enormous man turned around and asked the child, "Yeah? What is it?"

Naruto clenched his fists and then he asked, "Please, teach me in the art of ninjutsu… Me and another friend of mine both. Sasuke Uchiha. He's on the same team as me and we're both finalists in the Chunin Exams! We both have one month to train and we need all the help we can get. You could train both of us and we would be sure to win! And then we'll be able to face each other on the same level. Please, be our teacher for this one month? Just for the month! How about it?!"

Naruto had tried his best to be more formal. After how he and the Sannin shouted at each other over the Make-Out Paradise series, he would have to be much nicer to the Sannin in order to convince him. He even offered the tall man a small bow of his head. But it didn't look like the man was all that amused as he watched Naruto become humble to an almost uncharacteristic level.

Jiraiya then responded in a flat tone of voice, "The answer is no."

"What?" the blonde wizard blinked and then he tried to persuade him, "C'mon! Teach us, teacher! Please?! Sasuke is going up against an impossible opponent! Not even someone who can open five of the Eight Inner Gates could beat this kid and Sasuke has to face him! You're one of the Sannin! You can help teach Sasuke how to beat him!"

"You don't need to be trained, too?" the Sannin asked, "Your teammate needs all the attention at the moment? You're in the finals too, brat, so what about that?"

Naruto shook his head and said he started to become more excited and smiled as another idea came to mind, "Yeah, I need to be trained too. But, we also have our sensei to teach us too. We could take turns; we can switch teachers and students and learn as much as we can! You and Kakashi-sensei can teach us both and we would be unbeatable! How about it?!"

"It's a noble sentiment to be concerned about a teammate in a situation where one someone can be favored over another," the tall man then shook his head, "But, the answer is still no."

Naruto frowned and almost shouted, "How come?!"

"For starters, I don't like training genius brats from the Uchiha clan," the tall man listed as he talked down to the blonde-haired wizard, "Two, I'm not at the freedom or the willingness to take on more students, I lost a lot of them and I don't intend to start over with someone else… And third… You're kind of a bitch to deal with, and I would much rather focus on the next Make-Out Paradise novel I have in mind."

"ARGH! YOU DAMN ARROGANT PEEPING-" but then the wizard forced himself to calm down, he needed to be honest and convince the Sannin to listen to him. He sounded a little more desperate after he calmed down, "I mean… hold on for one moment and listen to me… I'll be honest, I don't stand a chance to win in the finals and neither does Sasuke. He has to face someone that can control sand with his mind and a shield so thick that it takes five of the Eight Inner Gates to smash into… Not to mention, the moron I have to deal with can kill me within the first ten seconds with one small touch of his hand! He's a member of the Hyuga clan, he's talented, and he will annihilate me! Please, we both need another teacher to train us…"

The Sannin crossed his arms, somewhat touched but tired of the blonde-haired wizard's sentiment, "Look, kid…"

"Kakashi-sensei told me that teamwork is the most essential element to a shinobi team," the wizard told the tall man and tried to convince him to teach him and Sasuke, "He's done a lot for us and entered us in the Chunin Exams because he believes that we can win. And I don't want to let him down… This is the one chance I need to show him how resourceful I can be and show him how much I've learned about teamwork… Please…"

It wasn't until Naruto mentioned Kakashi and the sentiment about teamwork, that the Sannin was convinced. Jiraiya blinked and almost smirk down at the little shinobi and felt now was the time to let him. The Sannin frowned as he forced himself to look somewhat irritated after he left Naruto to wait on an answer for five minutes.

He then mumbled, "Hrmm… Fine…"

"What was that?" the blonde wizard blinked.

Jiraiya answered him with as he started to smile and nod in a reluctant manner, "Fine, I'll do it. You can count on me, kid…"

"YES!" the blonde wizard beamed, "Thanks, Ero-Sennin! When do we start?!"

The tall Sannin told him, "I'll be at the waterfall east of town, at noon, all month, the one a few miles west of the Great Konoha Chasm. I have some… environmental research to conduct there."

"You're the best, Ero-Sennin!" the blonde kid shouted as he nicknamed the Sannin, "What should I do now?!"

Jiraiya then ordered him, "Go look for Kakashi-sensei and the Uchiha. Tell them the news and meet me at the waterfall at noon tomorrow. Understood?"

"Understood, Ero-Sennin!" he saluted and then he dashed as fast as he could to find Sasuke and Kakashi.

But as the blonde-haired wizard vanished from the bathhouses, the tall, white-haired shinobi crossed his arms, satisfied that his intentions with Naruto were successful. He would soon set out to look for his sensei and his teammate and the next time he saw him tomorrow, he would come to be trained alone.

"Kakashi and Sasuke should be miles out of Konoha about now…" he said, but then he realized the nickname Naruto had branded him with, "DID THAT KID SERIOUSLY JUST NAME ME ERO-SENNIN?!"

Naruto reached the road to the hospital within two minutes. With his chakra control back to normal, he could move so fast that he started to turn into a blur. Naruto could move so fast that a trail of dust followed him as he beamed, excited to train with his sensei and now one of the Sannin. But he had to admit that he didn't like Jiraiya as much as he liked Kakashi and looked forward to what he had in store for him.

When he reached the medical clinic and almost crashed into a random nurse, he rushed over to the receptionist desk and asked, "Excuse me, where is Sasuke Uchiha's room?"

"Gomenasai," the woman bowed her head after she checked a file and she said, "Uchiha-sama has been dismissed for the last two hours."

Naruto looked confounded, "You know where he went, then?"

"I'm afraid not," the woman shook her head, "But he should be at his clan estate now."

Naruto nodded and dashed out of the medical clinic, determined to leave and headed towards the Uchiha clan estate.

Naruto marched towards the numerous entrances into the Uchiha clan estate. The area where the Uchiha used to thrive was blocked off from the rest of Konoha with an enormous white wall, carved out of stone, marble, and wood. The entrance Naruto found was a closed set of wooden doors that were locked from the inside. The blonde-haired wizard stood back and studied the doors for a while, before he looked over his shoulder to check the coast was clear, and then he removed his wand from the sleeve of his hoodie.

'I wonder… How come the Uchiha had these doors locked all the time?'

'The Uchiha was a real secretive clan, Naruto. Not to mention rich. This wall could have been used to hold back intruders or thieves.'

'You think?'

'That, or the Uchiha wanted to feel more exclusive and dominant to the other rival clans. None of the other clan estates seem to have a wall quite as tall as this one.'

'Rich folk with wide backs, said Iruka Umino… I would not be shocked if that last bit were true.'

The blonde-haired wizard clicked his neck and then he aimed his wand at the lock on the wooden door and muttered, "Alohamora!"

The doors clicked and creaked open wide enough for Naruto to squeeze through. When he closed the door behind him, this marked the first time Naruto had ever entered the Uchiha clan estate. He ran down the streets of the abandoned estate and tried to sense the faintest trace of his teammate. But instead, the streets were desolate and cold, and all of the old structures were boarded and covered with dust.

He took the chance he had to examine the estate and (while he knew most of it was abandoned) the stores and houses were all crafted out of solid marble with various rare colors and almost unbreakable oaks. The inside of wall that bordered the estate was decorated with white and red Uchiha fire fans in between each section. All of the abandoned stores, vendors, and houses were identical to each other and seemed to form a miniature town contained within the estate's massive walls. Naruto tried to determine which house Sasuke lived in, but it was difficult, since all of the houses looked the same. But then he walked to the center of the estate and found the house that set all the others aside. The house in the center was almost a mansion, with two floors, two gardens, and even a Japanese bamboo water fountain. Naruto knew from the moment he heard the wooden clank of the Japanese fountain that Sasuke lived here. It made sense, because this was the house the leader of the clan must have lived in and Sasuke was the second son of the late Uchiha leader.

Naruto walked closer to the house and shouted toward the window he assumed was to his rival's bedroom, "Sasuke! Come down here! I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS! You won't believe this!"

Naruto waited for Sasuke to look out the window and scream at him for coming to his estate, uninvited. But no noise came out from the house, as if no one was home.

The blonde-haired wizard tried once more, "Oi! Sasuke-teme! Get down here!"

No one answered.

"OI, WANKER!" he shouted in an attempt to earn his rival's attention.

But when no noise came from Sasuke's house, Naruto started to feel worried. He then bounced from roof-to-roof until he reached the window he assumed was Sasuke's bedroom. He looked inside and it was indeed Sasuke's bedroom: he could see the framed shot of Team 7 on the desk in front of the window next to a few unused kunai and shuriken. He also noticed that Sasuke had left his clothes drawer drawn out, and most of his clothes had been removed.

Disenchanted, Naruto fell back down from the window and landed on his feet. Naruto walked from Sasuke's front door and came across a sight that made him stop dead in his tracks. It was one of the Uchiha fans on the wall that closed the main house from the rest of the estate. It had a hole in the center of the fan and cracks that stretched across the Uchiha clan mascot. The sight of the cracks caused him to shiver and then a wind breezed into the estate and caused ceremonial bells to chime and almost scared him to death. Naruto turned around to the source of the loud chimes and saw a shrine, built across the street from Sasuke's house. Curious and bored, Naruto marched towards the shrine.

The shrine was colored with shades of black, red, silver, and maroon. There were massive columns built out of wood and also colored to match the dark color scheme. There were also ceremonial bells attached to red and black cloth that blew in the wind and chimed. Naruto walked into what he believed was a memorial shrine. But the structure led down to a set of stairs and into total darkness. Naruto felt the wind on his back and he started to walk down towards the dark, scared but also curious.

'Naruto. I don't think we're allowed down there.'

'Sasuke could be down there. I'll be less than a minute.'

'Naruto, this isn't our estate.'

'Less than a minute, Nii-san!'

The blonde-haired wizard followed his hunch down into the basement-like shrine. The halls were unlit with the numerous torches stuck to the walls. Naruto didn't want Sasuke to think someone else had been down here, and decided to draw out his wand once the darkness blinded him.

Naruto muttered, "Lumos!"

And the end of his wand illuminated the staircase with an unnatural but beautiful blue light. He couldn't see the end of the staircase, so he continued to walk down until he found his teammate. Naruto moved forward and watched as the corridor turned colder and the stone stairs felt older. He could hear the stone beneath his feet start to crack each time he rested his feet, but he continued further into the endless dark. He felt like the darkness would never end until the stairs forced him to turn left and he discovered the Uchiha shrine.

It was about the same size as his old apartment. The walls were all dark and made out of some form of slate. There were candles left lit with red melted wax that oozed on the stone, where the names of the entire Uchiha clan were carved: the names of the men, women, and children that were killed at Itachi Uchiha's hand.

Naruto could see that Sasuke wasn't here and decided to leave at once. But when he turned around, he noticed murals on the walls. Naruto waved his wand over the murals and noticed the intricate details and the various dark colors used to illustrate various characters and words. He saw Sharingan carved onto the walls with haikus that made little to no sense whatsoever. The characters on the murals resembled humans and unusual animals. Naruto studied a variation of animals he had never seen before, all of them with various tails and breathed what looked like fire. There were other haikus written above and below the illustrations, some of which were written in another language. It wasn't until Naruto felt freaked out at the random sets of words and characters, did he turn to leave when he noticed the last mural that caused him to freeze.

It was a mural of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, an accurate and vicious two-dimensional recreation of the dreaded beast that Naruto both hated and feared. The fox in the mural breathed fire down on various human characters near the floor. Naruto studied it, disturbed at the illustration as he watched the human characters burn until he couldn't look at it. He raised his wand and then he saw a new character he hadn't noticed until now. There was a human character drawn on the head of the nine-tailed fox with black hair and red armor. It was then that Naruto decided he had seen more than he needed and ran out of the shrine as fast as he could.

After he left the Uchiha clan estate behind, Naruto wished he had never ventured into the shrine. He wanted to comment that the Uchiha were twisted to set their shrine into a dark torture-room basement. But he was too disturbed to make a more detailed comment.

'That shrine… was weird… I mean, real weird!'

'You know what was even weirder? Those murals were encoded…'

'Encoded?'

'I noticed there were hidden bits of information scattered across the walls in those haikus. I saw bits of words such as Sharingan, friend, death, hate, mind, time, world, torture, and Mangekyo… I'm not sure how those words are connected but I'll see what I can translate.'

'I don't think I want to know… I mean… that shrine looked like an evil council room of death! Who the hell made that shrine?! I wouldn't be shocked if a serial killer designed it!'

'Leave all that to me… Besides, I could use a new hobby.'

'You can count me out on that one, Nii-san… But if Sasuke isn't here at the clan estate, then where the hell is he? His room was cleared of his clothes and no one has seen him since he left the clinic.'

'You should look for Kakashi. The Uchiha brat could be with him now for all we know to treat his curse mark or whatever. But if he's not, he could be in serious danger. Orochimaru was after him, remember?'

'You don't have to remind me…'

For the next hour and a half, Naruto ran about Konoha in search of his sensei. He checked a few restaurants that sold Sasuke's favorite food (tomatoes) in the chance that he was out for lunch. But no such luck. Naruto checked Ichiraku Ramen in case Teuchi saw either his teammate or Kakashi, but the kind old man hadn't seen either of them in over a week. The wizard checked various bookstores, based on the fact that one of Kakashi's favorite hobbies was to read. But he still had no luck. Worried about his teammate and scared that his sensei was nowhere to be seen; Naruto started to fear that Orochimaru could have been taken Sasuke, or even killed him.

With few locations left on his list, the blonde-haired wizard ran towards his sensei's house. He ran around crowds of random Konoha citizens and soared over markets and vendors until he reached the street Kakashi said he lived on. Unaware of which building he lived in, the blonde wizard checked all of them for the lists of the residents outside the doors of each apartment complex. Naruto didn't waste a second to take a break until he reached the seventh building in his search of the street. There, he saw a familiar name written in black ink:

HATAKE, K.

Naruto entered the apartment building and climbed several sets of stairs until he found the correct door. Behind the door was where his teacher lived, but he didn't have time to savor this rare visit to his sensei's home and knocked on the door.

He then cried, "Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei! We need to talk now! I can't find Sasuke! I went to the clinic, searched his estate, and he's nowhere to be seen! Please, listen to me, sensei! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Naruto waited and listen to hear Kakashi's feet rush to the door from the other side. But no sound came out from behind the door. He knocked on the door much harder this time and shouted, "Kakashi-sensei! KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

The blonde-haired wizard had had it and shouted, "That's it! I'm comin' in!"

Naruto checked over both his shoulders and with no one around to see him; he hit the doorknob with his wand and muttered, "Alohamora!"

The door clicked and Naruto slid his head inside, so as not to disturb Kakashi. But it was a waste of time as he discovered his sensei was not in the main room. The blonde wizard walked inside, uninvited, and searched the rest of the rooms and the kitchen. He looked to the left and found a small corridor that led into a washroom, an extra, unused bedroom, and Kakashi's bedroom. He looked inside his sensei's bedroom and noticed how neat it was. The bed had a white and dark emerald futon decorated with swirled black shuriken and his desk was filed with teacher books, old textbooks, and a few notebooks. The one hint of his sensei's whereabouts seemed to be that a lot of his clothes had been removed from both his closet and his drawers, similar to Sasuke's bedroom.

Naruto searched the small, humble home of his teacher one last time, and discovered most of his food and his toiletries had been cleared out, almost like no one even lived in the apartment at all. The blonde-haired wizard tried to look around for a note but there was no trace that Kakashi left one for a friend or one of his neighbors to let him know where he was, when he would be back, or instructions on how to feed his cat, not that he owned one.

Kakashi's blonde-haired student was now lost and scared. He had no idea where to find Kakashi or what could have become of him. He was frustrated and nervous as he checked the house three more times and called out his teacher's name, louder and louder each time until he left the apartment and locked the door behind him with his wand.

'This doesn't make sense… Where's Kakashi-sensei?! Where's Sasuke?! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL COULD THEY BE?!'

'Kakashi wouldn't have left without some form of information left behind… Unless he didn't have time to leave a note or some sort of message.'

'Then what should I do? I have no idea what to do, Nii-san…'

'Use shadow clones and have them search around Konoha. Have them search the Hero's Memorial and wherever else Kakashi could be.'

"Ok…" the blonde-haired shinobi nodded to his older brother and formed the infamous seal, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

A cloud of white smoke blasted out all over the street and over two hundred Naruto Uzumaki clones materialized and ran out in all directions.

All over Konoha, the shadow clones searched the streets and even asked random civilians and shinobi alike if one of them had seen Kakashi or Sasuke Uchiha. Most of them didn't even bother to answer Naruto, but the citizens that weren't rude to him didn't know where to find him or hadn't seen either one of them. The clones searched all the locations where he could find Sasuke and Kakashi and re-checked locations he had visited earlier. Meanwhile, the real version of him ran about the streets and started to search the woods on his own. There were shadow clones scattered around other meadows and fields, but the real one did the hardest work of all of them and never once took a break to rest, eat, or drink until he found a trace of his team.

But all his efforts were fruitless, as Naruto searched all over Konoha, and still no Kakashi or Sasuke to be seen or heard. Naruto forced himself to dash forward, into bushes, streams, and ran into a few trees before he fell down and leaned onto a small tree, too tired to move on. His face was red, worried sick and closed to tears. His worst fears started to eat at him. With Orochimaru on the loose and his sensei nowhere to be found, Naruto feared both his teammate and his sensei were dead, their bodies discarded, bloodied and bruised. He feared that if the two of them were dead, it could have been his fault. He had battled Orochimaru with his older brother, he had the abilities to fend him off, and he could have defended his teammate and sensei had he not been too late, he assumed. Guilt attacked his heart like a cold blade to the chest as Naruto trembled and let his shadow clones burst in failure.

"I… I can't find them… Nowhere… Kakashi-sensei… Sasuke-teme…"

'It's ok, Naruto… Please relax… It'll be ok…'

'I failed… I failed them, Nii-san…'

'No. You didn't fail them, Naruto. Don't think like that.'

Harry tried to convince his little brother to calm down before his hair fell out. The older wizard focused the feel of his hands on Naruto's shoulders as he determined where Kakashi and Sasuke had vanished. He didn't think either one of them was in serious danger or had been harmed or even killed. The wizard didn't want to tell Naruto where he believed the two of them went, as it would create a vast, unavoidable strain on their team if it turned out to be true. Naruto had been haunted with abandonment ever since he was a small child, and he would hate Kakashi if his older brother were correct. But even if he were correct, he didn't want Naruto to feel worse than he did now and raised him back onto his feet and walk him back home.

'C'mon, Naruto… Let's return home to Iruka… Hayate could still be there for all we know… You need to relax…'

Naruto leaned on the thin tree for ten minutes, before he turned back to Konoha and walked on.

Naruto reached his and Iruka's house, unsure what to tell Iruka about Kakashi and Sasuke. But as he reached for the doorknob, he took in a foul but sweet scent he had never breathed in before. He smelled the air around the door, that scent much fouler but still somehow sweet to his nostrils. He then heard the subtle sounds of Electro music come from within their home. Naruto soon moved inside and closed the door behind him. He turned around and let his face fall flat into shock.

"Oh… dear... God…"

He saw Iruka and Hayate were both undressed from their standard chunin and Tokubetsu rank vests. Both of them were laid down on the couch like slobs, their faces covered in smears of chocolate sauce, crumbs from various snacks and cookies, and even flour coated their faces. Their bellies were somewhat distended from fullness while the air in the room was clouded with a foul but bittersweet smoke that forced Naruto to become choked. The blonde-haired wizard looked down at Iruka's coffee table, distraught to find it was covered with eaten cookie boxes, soda cans, and littered with ashes.

On the couch, Hayate had removed his bandanna headband and let his hair run loose over his head. He smiled as he relaxed and stretched his arms over the couch in nirvana. His eyes were now bloodshot and his face was somewhat lazier as the muscles in his face were loosened over his skull. Iruka was also on the couch and his headband was removed as well. His eyes were also bloodshot and he stared at the ceiling while he smiled and let out a slow but childish laugh. Iruka tried to reach out to touch the air and then he looked at his own hand, as if it had transformed and he started to fear it. He tucked his hand underneath his warm rear end and then he noticed his little brother came back home. He froze; unaware that Naruto had returned home so soon (unaware of what time it was) and feared his little brother would curse him if he saw what he had done.

"Oh, SHIT!" he shouted, "I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M NOT STONED!"

The tan-skinned chunin tried to hide the evidence of his activities with a sudden rush of adrenaline. But his efforts were short-lived after he threw himself over the back of the couch and knocked his uncovered forehead on the hard wooden floor. Iruka was knocked out in a second but soon he started to snore and drool on the floor. Meanwhile, Naruto was still at the door, bewildered and unsure what to make of the unusual scene that unfolded in front of him.

"What… the hell?!" he said at last.

Hayate looked down to see his old friend and smiled in amusement, "Hi there, kiddo! Welcome home!"

Naruto raised his arms at his two friends before he let them fall down at his sides, unable to decide if he wanted to break down in tears, shout and scream until his throat turned raw, or knock himself out and be with Iruka on the floor.

A few hours later, sometime around midnight, Naruto had levitated Iruka to his bedroom and cleaned his face free of the chocolate and crumbs. He left him some medicine in case he had a headache tomorrow and then left him to rest. He then marched to the main room and turned off the music before the neighbors knocked on their door and discovered the intense odor of marijuana. He then used his wand to banish the used snacks and soda cans, and then he cleansed the coffee table until it shined like a new-minted coin. Once Naruto closed the windows, he moved on to clean the rest of their demolished home and clean the thick air free of smoke while Hayate sat back (too stone out of his mind to move) and noticed how stressful his little friend looked while he admired his skills with charms.

Once the apartment was restored to its former clean condition, Naruto frowned and continued to clear his throat from the thick smoke that continued to billow out from Hayate and fill the main room. The blonde-haired wizard soon relented from his attempts to deodorize the room and sat down on the couch, exhausted both in mind and body. He then turned to look at the swordsman that continued to stare and smile at him.

"Ok... What do I make of this?!" the blonde wizard shouted and he asked his old friend, "You two didn't smoke since I left after breakfast?!"

The swordsman smiled as he answered with, "Uhhhhh…"

"YOU DID!" the wizard shouted.

Hayate stretched out his arms and then he announced with a wide smile, "Yeah, we did!"

"Oh, this is brilliant…" the blonde wizard said as he buried his face in his hands and then he lashed his arms out before he sank back down onto the couch, "This is what I needed to deal with next! WHAT'S NEXT?!"

The swordsmaster sunk back onto the couch, closer to his little friend and asked, "Ok… What's the matter? You don't seem too stressed out to see Iruka off his tits. So tell me… What's the trouble?"

Naruto turned his head to look at Hayate, he frowned and he tried to sort the tale out in his mind before he went ahead and left out details or bits of vital information.

"After Jiraiya fixed the seal, I convinced him to teach me and Sasuke for the Chunin Exam finals. He told me to look for Sasuke-teme, but I couldn't find him. I looked for sensei at his house and he's disappeared too," he told the blitzed out swordsmaster.

Hayate tilted his head and asked, "Your sensei is lost? You were out all this time in search for him?"

"I've searched for hours," he told him as the he rested his head back into his hands, "I checked Sasuke Uchiha's house. He wasn't there. I went to Kakashi-sensei's house and he wasn't there either. After that, I searched the whole town and even the woods with shadow clones and I couldn't find them."

The swordsmaster took in all the information, which was a remarkable feat for a man in his current condition, and he moaned, "Ah, man… You should have told me this from the start, Naruto! I have connections! I could have sorted it all out!"

"You have connections?" the blonde wizard asked as he turned to look at him, "With who?"

Hayate answered, "I have connections with all the other Tokubetsu in Konoha! Give me a moment here…"

The shinobi reached into his trouser and drew out a communications device, a small touchscreen device, and he sent out several messages to one of his listed contacts. He waited a few short minutes and then he received a new message and he smiled.

The stoned swordsmaster nodded and said, "There. I contacted Anko Mitarashi and she'll talk to Ibiki Morino and find out where Kakashi ran off. We'll have an answer from her tomorrow at breakfast."

"Oh…" the small wizard stared at his old friend, surprised to see how functional and resourceful he could be, even while under the influence, and he asked, "Just like that?"

The man stretched out his arms and smiled, "Just like that."

"Well…" the blonde wizard sank back onto the couch and commented, "I feel like an idiot…"

Hayate shook his head, relaxed, and then he sat back and offered Naruto a lit marijuana cigarette, "Don't sweat it… Look… You're stressed out now. You're tense and I can sense it. So chill out, kick back, and have a smoke… on me…"

"Nah, I'm fine..." he refused in a gentle manner, careful not to breath the smoke of the burnt weed, and then he said as he relaxed on the couch when he felt his older brother start to rub his shoulder and forced him to relax with the aid of a charm, "Ask me when I have facial hair..."

The swordsman offered one more time, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine..." the blonde-haired wizard.

Hayate relented and smoked the rest of the weed in his hand. He blew the smoke further from Naruto and look over at him to notice him start to fall asleep. His older brother must have focused a magic into his mind that helped him calm down and snooze. The blonde-haired shinobi snored a little bit and Hayate threw a blanket over him as he finished the rest of his smoke. He looked at the roach in his hand, a little bit relieved he didn't force Naruto to smoke, but he couldn't deny that he would have liked to see his old friend off his tits.

He chuckled as he started to drift off, "Damn, it still would have been hilarious if he did it..."

To Be Continued…

And there we have it! Now let's see… differences…

In the original version of this chapter, when Naruto meets Jiraiya and asks him to teach him and Sasuke for the finals, Jiraiya refuses stubbornly and Naruto uses a Conjunctivas Curse on Jiraiya on the heels of a smoke bomb. Naruto then claims that he blinded Jiraiya with a smoke bomb of his own design, and he threatens to never allow him see another naked woman ever again before he reluctantly agrees to train him. I felt these actions made Naruto look too bratty, not to mention he also lights Jiraiya's pants on fire and the Sannin crashes into the women's bathhouse before they attack him and Sarutobi watches with his crystal ball, laughing manically. I thought it was all too crazy and over-the-top.

I should also mention that in the original version, I also had a scene in the Naka Shrine where Naruto is almost scared to death of the mural after he sees images that are highly similar to dementors. Naruto freaks out and runs out of the shrine hysterically and is forced to calm down in a random alleyway.

And the last scene I changed was when Iruka and Hayate get high: in the original version, the two of them giggle and swear too much and Iruka shouts that the police "will never take him alive" which leads to him knocking himself out. I decided to change it with a more realistic scene.

Below here is the scene I intended to put in when Hayate offers Naruto a hit of weed in order to relax. Naruto gives in to temptation in the scene and experiences his first time smoking. But after I posted this chapter and received a few reviews, I started to think it wasn't necessary and it also made Naruto weaken his character and moral. It was intended to be a bit of comedy, but it didn't turn out as harmless as I intended. Looking back, it makes Naruto look like a pretty poor role model. So I deleted it from the main story and made it an alternate scene.

"What?!" the kid almost knocked the weed out of his friend's hands, "No! I don't want to get high! Look at what happened to Iruka-aniki!"

Hayate shook his head and then he insisted, "It'll be fine, Naruto. It was Iruka's first time, and he smoked A LOT in the last few hours. Just take one hit and that'll be it."

"No, I'm not comfortable with that! I don't wanna be an addict!" the blonde-haired rookie almost shouted.

But then the swordsmaster insisted with an unusual amount of detailed information as he lectured Naruto how it was ok for him to have one hit, "That's bullshit. This is not an addictive substance, Naruto. Marijuana is illegal because some rich, selfish idiots in government offices realized what a resourceful substance it was instead of timber and made it illegal in order to cut down more trees for the timber industries. Weed is a natural muscle-relaxant and should be legal to smoke. It's less lethal than alcohol and alcohol can be sold at the corner of almost all the streets in Konoha to kids with fake ID's and mustaches. Now that is criminal."

"But… But I…" he stammered with reluctance.

But then the swordsmaster assured Naruto, determined to rid him of the stress he still felt haunted him, "It'll be fine… Trust me… I'll be here the whole time… You'll be fine…"

It was after that one last sentence, did Naruto cave in and he surrendered to his friend's invitations. He took the marijuana cigarette in his hand, inserted it into his mouth, and breathed in as much smoke as he could take. Naruto almost choked on the smoke at once, but he resisted and forced to breath it all in and hold it inside. He lasted no more than fifteen seconds before Naruto's face turned red and he almost vomited. Tears ran down his face and the foul but bittersweet smoke he inhaled was choked out of him. The smoke caused his throat to feel like it had been scratched out from the inside and then dried out, like a towel. Naruto tried to swallow his saliva down and calm his throat, but he continued to choke while Hayate rubbed his back and eased him into the transition that was to follow.

Once Naruto had cleared his throat, it still burned, but he set it aside as he was overwhelmed and had to sink back into the couch. The blood rushed down from his head, he blinked, and then he felt like he started to float off from the couch. His vision blurred as darkness surrounded him and he had obtained a new tunnel vision. He tried to look around the room, but he soon discovered he was unable to move his head. Naruto didn't know if he had become numb or if he had lost the will to move at all, but no matter the case, he didn't seem all that bothered about it. Naruto didn't see colors or felt he even hallucinated. But the world around him seemed to turn into a world fueled with emotion as he saw the house start to blur, darken, and slow down. He felt his concerns for his teammate and sensei start to fade, followed with his desire to become chunin, and then his awareness.

All Naruto could do as he sat there on the couch was, "Ohhhhhh…"

He stared out at the television set in front of him and watched as it switched on, but he was unable to tell what he watched as the colors flashed and the blurred lines of anime characters and weather conditions filled the screen. Naruto drooled onto his hoodie for about an hour before he stared at his hands for five minutes, and then he smothered his hands all over his face for the next fifteen minutes. Naruto soon fell in love with the smoothness of his hands on his face before he felt a sudden desire to eat snacks or fast food.

"Do we have ramen left?" he asked, as the soreness in his throat seemed to vanish.

Hayate could have died from laughter as he watched Naruto amuse him with his antics, "Hahahahaahaha! This is diamond! I need to find a camera! I have to record this!"

There we have it then! I just hope that the scenes I wrote and kept in this version are still funny.

Naruto: I liked them alright… Wait a second… I just realized something… IRUKA! YOU DIDN'T TAKE MY CLOTHES TO THE CLEANERS!

Iruka: Heh! Yeah, here's another hoodie to compensate!

N: GRRRRRRR!

AZ44: Iruka was off his ever-loving tits! This chapter made my week! I look forward to the next one, dude!

K: I'll get right on it, then!

Be sure to leave behind a review as usual folks! Let me know if this was any good and all the usual stuff and I'll be working on the next chapter ASAP! Until next time!