Another chapter is on the way...

I hope you´ll like it...please let me know :-))) ( I really have no idea whether you like it or not...and whether it´s worth to go on...), it would be nice to hear a few words...

A/N I don´t own anything from Twilight... :-)

Ch 23

They spent the Thanksgiving together at three. Edward phoned two days earlier that they would all go to the mountains. They wanted to enjoy a good hunt. Ellen felt bit disappointed because she was looking forward to see them. It´s been so long since they were together in the park.

The truth was that Alice already informed all siblings about the state of things between Carlisle and Ellen and they wanted to give them a bit of privacy. Alice could see that Ellen´s heart still needs some time to heal and therefore she cannot open to Carlisle and realise the fact that she is his soul mate. She is also kind of worried of a new relationship. Alice knew that dad shouldn´t give Ellen too much time or she will move out soon if he doesn´t mention a word…..But she couldn´t tell him anything. He expressed clearly that she shouldn´t involve and she respects that no matter how sad she feels for him. He is too good to be lonely.

Ellen was preparing the dinner and Carlisle with Patty were assisting her. In the meantime they were making the house a mess. But none of them minded that. After the dinner Carlisle whispered something to Patty, she ran in her room and when she came back, he was holding a small packet in his hand. Ellen had no idea of what he was doing:

„ What is it?..." He handed it to Patty:

„ Surprise for you…." Patty opened the box and saw her favorite fairy tales DVD. She immediately hugged him and shouted:

„ Uncle Carlisle, this is the best gift… I love them…."

He kissed her forehead: „ I know sweetie…."

She hugged him tight and begged him to turn the DVD on.

Later when Patty went to bed and Carlisle returned from Patty´s bedroom, Ellen was standing in the living room with doubts in her mind. He entered and could feel that something wasn´t alright. Ellen seemed to be stressed about something. First she wanted to argue about the fact that she didn´t like the fact that he was spoiling Patty. But when she saw her daughter´s excitement from the gift, she forgot about it. However, there was one more thing that needed to be discussed. Their stay at the Cullen house. Ellen already decided to tell him about her decision. She knew he won´t be happy about that but they have to find some place to live. They cannot stay here. It is not fair to him…

He suddenly asked:

„ What happened?"

He could sense her worries and knew that he won´t enjoy the news.

She turned around because she didn´t hear him coming: „ We need to talk…."

He came closer to her: „ I am here…..what´s wrong?…"

„ I….well….. I think….. I should start….searching for my own place to live…..we can´t bother you so much…"

He seemed to be stuck when she finished. His eyes were no longer happy but silently he asked:

„ Do you miss anything here?"

She shrugged: „ No, you´ve been so nice, so kind to us…. But….I … I need something ,… I mean…my own place….."

He looked down for a moment. This was pretty shocking for him. It surprised him that she wanted to leave. He wished she would stay here forever.

He just silently asked: „ When?..."

„ I … I don´t know yet…I need to find something…I haven´t started yet…I just wanted to tell you about my intentions….I don´t want to bother you in your home…it´s not fair….."

„You know you could never bother me…. You mean so much for me…."

The sentences he said just touched her heart deeply. Does this mean that he?... She wasn´t able to say anything…Just watched his reaction… Yes, he seemed astounded and it was her fault.

He suddenly spoke: „ OK, it is your decision…..you know that you may stay here as long as you want…."

She replied: „ Yes, I know, but your kids are coming soon and we don´t want to hinder….."

He stopped her:

„ Ellen, my kids adore you….as you could have noticed….especially Edward and Bella….. they take you as a very close friend…. They would do everything also for Patricia….she is like a small sister to them…"

Ellen smiled: „ Yes, I have seen….. they are wonderful people….I mean you all… you are an amazing family…."

He just nodded, he didn´t know what to say.

He felt that he needs to leave the room or he would tell her everything and then spend the night with her in his bedroom. But he knew he cannot…. apparently she wasn´t ready to hear that.

He apologised: „ Ellen, sorry, I have some headache…. I think I will go to bedroom to take some nap. The night shifts are incredibly tiring…."

She smiled softly: „ I understand, I admire you because of this, I would not be able to stay awake for the whole night and concentrate for the work…"

He kissed her cheek and left. While kissing her, he smelled the beautiful scent and felt slightly depressed that she will be far away from him again. He slowly walked away in his bedroom. He sat down on the bed and opened the laptop. He tried to start working but it wasn´t possible. His thoughts were at Ellen.

Ellen was still standing at the same place. She felt sorry, he seemed to be really hurt. He might not want her to leave. Something in her heart was whispering it to her. She didn´t know this voice. He is doing so much for her. Why would he do that if he didn´t care? Maybe he likes their company in the house. Otherwise he would be completely lonely. It was visible that she caused his sadness in the face. And his eyes. She has never seen such look in his eyes. She looked at him for a second and had to move immediately. He didn´t say a word against her idea. She noticed that he called her Ellen, he always used the Elly version, but this time he didn´t. She needs to talk to him.

She was walking to the stairs and wanted to go to sleep. Suddenly she changed her mind and headed to his bedroom. She has never been there and hoped he would be awake. When she came closer, the door was open and the light was on.

Carlisle could hear the steps coming closer, he pretended to fall asleep. After a moment Ellen knocked on the door and when he didn´t reply, she entered.

She dared to come closer when she saw the open laptop, she picked it gently, closed and laid it on the night table. She sat on the edge of his bed and looked around. He had such a nice bedroom, she never came here. She respected his privacy. On the side she could see a big shelf with books. She knew he had an enormous library in his study, but this smaller version was also very impressive. The whole room was beautifully designed.

After a moment she looked back to her friend sleeping next to her. Ellen watched his face. He seemed so young, the blond hair fit him so perfect. At one moment she thought that it would be easy to persuade people, that Patricia is his… then she returned back to his hands. She remembered as he always hugged her and calmed her. She couldn´t describe it, she wanted to these hands to hold her all the time. If only things were so easy, she would be already in his arms. She touched his hand gently and said silently: „ I´m gonna miss you so much….."

He listened to her but couldn´t reply. He opened the eyes slowly and whispered: „ Elly?"

He scared her a bit, she expected him sleeping. He touched her fingers and didn´t want to let her go when she was trying to move. This way he stopped her from getting up. She asked:

„ How is your head?"

„My head?" He remembered:

„ Well, the pill seems to be working…."

She smiled: „ Sorry, I didn´t want to intrude…."

He caressed her face: „ It is nice that you came….."

Ellen closed the eyes, the gentle touch made her shiver. He was watching her and asked: „ Can´t you sleep?..."

She shrugged: „ I haven´t even tried…..I should probably be going…."

But couldn´t move. Her body just seemed to lose control. She planned to get up when he whispered:

„ Stay….." She looked at him with question in her eyes. He tapped the space next to him and she hesitated for a moment but then she laid next to him. She was laying on his hand with her back on his chest.

They were silent and she said:

„ I am sorry….. I like it here…..but…I feel….. I need something what is just mine….I can´t hold on like this….."

He said nothing and she thought that he was sleeping. He laid his hand on her waist and hugged her. He loved holding her and she stayed in his bedroom for the whole night. His mind was full of questions. He might have been wrong. Perhaps it is time to tell her about his feelings. He could at least attempt. She didn´t protest about staying with him, maybe she just needs a little reassurance.

In the morning she woke up and silently sneaked out of the room. She had no idea that Carlisle wasn´t sleeping, only pretending again. She took a shower and went to wake Patty up. When they were leaving the house, Carlisle was already getting out of the bedroom. They just waved him and left the house. They were almost late, Ellen was all the time hoping he would come downstairs, but he didn´t.

Patty´s class was going to a whole day trip and Patricia was so excited about that. Ellen took her to the bus and then hurried in the class. She had class today just till the noon. Then the kids had a sports program with their PE teacher and she was free. She had to stay till 4pm when Patty´s class is back from the trip. She wanted to take Carlisle out to lunch but she wanted this to be a surprise….

She liked the night spent in his arms. It was so comfortable. She felt she could get used to his daily presence in her bedroom so easily…It seemed so natural to be with him….. But she knew these ideas weren´t possible. He doesn´t love her. They are just friends…. And she could never use him up…. And she is still married. After the experience with Derek, Ellen is too afraid to jump straight in another relationship.

When Ellen and Patricia left the house, Carlisle was just coming downstairs. He didn´t hurry today, he just needed to think about things. And it was the best when he was alone…

The situation was becoming unbearable. Perhaps he should really do it, he should be the one the give her the impulse that he really cares and is ready to love her. He once notice the way how she watches Edward and Bella. Certainly she desired to be loved as much as they love each other. The only thing that caused him to feel depressed was her plan to move out soon. He has to tell her. Or then it will be much harder when she is out of the house. And they will be celebrating Christmas soon, the whole family will be home again and everyone has a mate and he desperately didn´t want to be lonely. Not when he already found her. He was thinking about little Patricia. He adored her completely and she did love him too. She was always shining when she saw with him and he enjoyed their time together. Even without adoption he regarded her as his own daughter. And because of their similar colour, some people have even complimented on the fact that he has a beautiful daughter.

He travelled to his practice just in time. There were already kids with their parents waiting for him and his receptionist Denise was just replying some phone calls. She was an older lady, but always very polite. She worked already for the previous doctor and always willing to advice him when he asked. The nurse Hellen was writing something in the diary and smiled when she heard him coming. He prepared everything and began working.

Around the lunch he realised he hasn´t written a text to Ellen. Every day he was sending her messages and today he just didn´t. He was thinking about the way how to tell Ellen about his feelings. And definitely he needs to persuade her to stop thinking about finding her own home. He must find a way to do it….

Suddenly he heard his receptionist whispering:

„ I don´t know but I haven´t heard of that….."

An unknown voice replied: „ Well, my kid has her as the class teacher… I would never say she is able to cheat….she has her own husband, doesn´t she?"

Denise whispered: „ I don´t truly know….I never cared…"

The voice started again: „ Well, such a handsome doctor….he could have every woman he would point his finger at….and he chooses such average soon to be divorced one….. I don´t get it…."

Denise replied: „ Well, that is none of my business…. It´s doctor Cullen´s privacy….."

The woman persuaded her: „ But you should know the most, you´re here all the time…."

Denise wanted to say something but Carlisle entered the room with anger with his voice:

„ Denise, please, can you get me Dr. Lane on the call for 2 pm? …"

Then he turned to the woman next to the reception desk:

„ Aaaah, Mrs. Hart, I thought we have finished….. your child is alright. Is there anything else we can help you with?"

She couldn´t miss his strict tone: „ no, doctor Cullen, thanks….. I was already leaving I was just….."

He interrupted her: „ I know what you said, I heard you…and I would like to remind you that it is none of your business and you should probably care more about your son´s grades and his behavior to the other kids than to poke your nose into my private things….."

He turned around and wanted to leave. On the way back he met Denise who looked on the ground. She went to him immediately:

„ Sorry, dr. Cullen, I really apologise, I didn´t want to…I tried to stop her but…"

He touched her hand gently: „ Denise, don´t worry…. I have heard that…. I know you did nothing wrong, don´t worry….."

Denise smiled: Thank you….you are so kind, I wanted to ask, I would like to take two weeks before Christmas free, my grand children are coming to town for Christmas and I haven´t seen them for half a year…..do you think I could….?"

He smiled: „ Of course….go and enjoy the time with your family…"

She laughed: „ Thank you…." He nodded and headed back to the office.

Ellen got out of the car and headed to the Carlisle´s private practice. She wanted to open the door but was surprised when Mrs. Hart appeared in front of her. She knew this woman and never liked her. Her child, Tom was a very naughty kid. He often liked to beat his class mates and Ellen had problems with him. Once she complained to Carlisle about him because his mom claimed that he was sick very often. He tried to remind treating him recently but there was no Tom Hart coming in his office.

Ellen passed her and wanted to enter. She greeted Mrs. Hart who was looking at with anger. She watched Ellen with disgust from head to toe and then added:

„ Sorry, Mrs. Williams but I don´t really know what he can see in you….."

Then she walked away and left Ellen shocked standing in the middle of the open door. Ellen wanted to enter but then she changed her mind and went back in her office at school.

She hasn´t received any message from him since the morning. It wasn´t typical for him, every day he was sending her at least two messages.

When all patients were gone, Carlisle wanted to go outside to get some fresh air and once he got out, he stopped. Then he looked around. He could feel Ellen´s scent, but wasn´t sure what she was doing there and why she didn´t appear? He couldn´t get it. He sent her a message but she didn´t reply… He wanted to run to her school but he had to return back to work. Some kids appeared with their parents and he didn´t want to let his small patients wait for him.