CHAPTER THREE
Kono couldn't believe that her baby boy was going to be, no, he was four years old. Time seemed to fly and everything around her was growing and changing. In those four years Chin and Malia grew their family, first it was twins - Elikapeka and Kahua and now Malia was pregnant again, another set of twins. Chin had never liked to do things easy. Danny and Eve had gotten married, Kono had revelled in the joy she had seen on Grace's face when she had gotten to be bridesmaid again and carry John down the aisle with her. Now Eve was carrying their own child, due at the same time as Malia. Kono wished she could have been with them, carrying a brother or sister for John with Steve at her side. Still, she wasn't going to focus on that, not today. It was John's birthday party and everyone was coming over, it was going to be hell of a day.
Kono greeted friends and family as they came through the door, friends of John's from kindergarten he had insisted come and their family which never failed her, even through the darkest of times. Mary had even made the trip to the islands to celebrate her Nephews birthday bringing her own little one in tow. Chin was at the BBQ and Eve and Malia was entertaining children and supervising at the water's edge. Danny had just arrived with Grace and Grace's friend, Grace's male friend. Kono wrapped her arms around the teen and eyed the boy over her shoulder waiting for an introduction. When it came she tried not to laugh the scowl from her father. "Be nice." Kono chastised when they headed off, Kyle a few steps behind Grace as she went in search of the twins.
"She is not meant to have a boyfriend, never, not ever." Danny huffed, the scowl deepening on his features. Kono dropped her head to his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. Comforting as best she could in this hard time.
"It was gonna happen brah, you knew that." Kono added softly. "Now, stop sulking and go find your nephew, he's been driving me insane asking for you." Kono laughed swatting at Danny's behind as she released him and pushed him out onto the lani.
POV CHANGE
What Steve had endured for months, years, was more than any man should have been forced to take. He kept going through, even when the days were at their worst. He had someone to go home too, his wife who he knew would be waiting. That was what he kept telling himself, he kept himself alive with memories of her. Trying to remember the taste of her skin, the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair. It took him 4 years, but he finally escaped, escaped the place he was forced to call home. A cell with chains and rats and something that smelled foul whenever you opened the door. He dragged himself through the jungle, fighting for his life whenever the need came, thinking of when he would return to his wife. His beautiful, charming, loving wife. He was found days later by more soldiers, but just when he thought it was all over they helped him and took him back to their base. After explaining who he was they contacted the US embassy, who arranged everything, before he knew what was happening he was on a flight home to Hawaii.
In that time he learned that Kono had been told he was missing, and by this time no doubt she thought he was dead. What would that leave him when he returned home, would she have moved on, found someone else to love her and care for her. No that she needed someone to care for her, she was fierce and wild and could kill a man a million different ways, but Steve cared for her. He cared for each and every inch of her and he'd do anything for her, time and time again. After more days of debriefing and under constant doctor's supervision he was released from medical care. He was malnourished and dehydrated, he also carried cuts and bruises and a break that healed wrong in his wrist, that would eventually need to be broken and reset at some point, however for now he was good to go home.
Due to the nature of the situation and the specialism he chose, no one knew he was home. There was no welcome banners welcoming him home, apart from family and the no doubt the team, and of course the US Navy, no one had known he was missing. Only the need to know. Which meant his return was not announced. When Steve pushed opened the door to his house, there was confusion. Children's toys were scattered across the room, toy boxes and pictures of more children sat on the walls. It didn't feel like the home he had left behind nearly five years ago. He froze when he heard small footsteps on the stairs, looking to his right to see a small boy stood on them, frozen and staring at Steve. "MOMMA." His shout made Steve jump, causing him to stumble back into the door frame, his bag falling from his hand.
More footsteps came, heavier as they landed on the hard floors of what was his home. Kono, Danny, Chin came flying into the house, Kono a sight that left him breathless. She had changed over the over the years, her hair had grown longer, she seemed almost curiver, like her body had changed. Steve stared down at the guns that were pointed at him, Kono was closest, stood in front of him with no weapon in her hands. Her eyes ran across him, taking in everything. Steve wasn't wearing his uniform. After all the weight he lost he couldn't wear it, so he was resigned to a set of camis they had found for him. "Steve?" Her voice was hesitant at first, her eyes searching his face and when his own gaze caught her's, he didn't the gasp. "Oh my God." Kono lurched forward, her arms wrapping around his neck, her body hanging from his as she held on for dear life. Steve tucked his face into her neck, breathing deeply as he arms wrapped around her waist, holding onto her like it was the first time.
POV CHANGE
Kono was stunned beyond belief, she never thought she would see him again. Never thought he would be standing in the door to their home like he had just come from back a run, or anything. Kono sobbed into his neck, the overwhelming emotion that hit her like a brick breaking free and showing with force as she finally held her husband in her arms again. He was home. "Momma?" The little voice came again, fear and confusion wrapped around his words. Kono pulled away from Steve, not missing the way his hand still stayed firmly at her waist, like he wasn't ever letting her go.
"It's okay baby." Kono opened her arms and John ran down the remaining steps into them. That was when Steve let her go, his hand pulling from her waist like he had been burnt. Kono lifted their child into his her arms, watching Steve. The hurt and confusion she saw wanting to make her tell him everything, but she needed to sort things out, they had so many people here and everyone would want to say hello and welcome Steve back, she couldn't hit him with the bomb with everyone here. Kono handed John off to Danny, Danny sat the boy on his hip, tickling ribs until he laughed and the whole tense situation seemed to evaporate from his young mind. "Will you take him out back for me?" She asked quietly. "Also, maybe see if you can get rid of everyone, everyone but ohana?" Danny nodded and with Chin he turned and left Kono with Steve.
Kono took a breath before turning back to Steve, he was still there, she hadn't imagined any of it and he was very much alive and in their living room. "I can't believe you're here, I thought you were dead Steve." Kono breathed her eyes skating over his body from head to toe. He didn't look like himself, he was much thinner, his face gaunt and his eyes didn't seem to hold the same light they one had from before he had left. She took a the few steps back to her husband, reaching out and laying her hands on his chest, feeling his beating heart below her hands. "You're alive." She added, not like she needed too, the disbelief was evident on her face. She reached up, her fingers scratching across his stubbled jaw, feeling the scar which was new and lay across his temple. She watched his eyes fall shut and she continued to feel her way across his face, getting to know the face still was completely and utterly in love with.
"Who was that?" It took a few moments for one of them to break the silence, Steve was first and his question as one that Kono had been hoping to put of for a little bit longer. She took a break and dropped her hand from his face, slipping her hand into his before leaning down to pick up his bag.
"Let's head upstairs, get you settled back in hmm?" Kono answered in return, for now hopefully putting the question off. Steve let her pull him the steps, jerky motions as he took them, and when she looked back as they passed John's room she saw him look into the child's room; a dazed look replacing the confused one. Kono led Steve into their bedroom, she had made changes over the years and now with Steve back it was like the final piece of the puzzle she had been trying to put together was finished. She closed the door behind them and dropped the bag by the dresser, they had privacy up here. She knew Danny and Chin would clear out everyone who wasn't family.
"I'll ask you again, who was that." Clearly Steve had known what she was trying to do, she forgot how he just knew, how he just knew what was on her mind. He could read her like a book and now it felt like he was being deliberately obtuse. "Kono."
"His name is John, John Steven McGarrett." Kono breathed, her head dropped to the ground watching his booted feet. They moved a step before stopping again and finding a stop on the ground, when she hesitantly cast her gaze back up he was watching her. "He was born March 12th 2013, at 12:34 in the afternoon." She pressed on she would keep talking until he spoke and stopped her. "His favourite colour is blue, and I know that because Danny left a tin of paint open from when he was painting the spare room and John tipped it over and pretending he was swimming." Kono laughed tears in her eyes, she had sent weeks scrubbing blue paint from his body, only after freaking out thinking her son was poisoned. "He wanted to be like his Daddy, because only the night before we were sat talking about how you were a SEAL and Danny joked you were more like a fish than a SEAL." Kono breathed sucking in a breath. "Say something!" She threw her hands up, her tone pleading as she begged him with her eyes.
"You didn't tell me." Kono slumped against the dresser, that was what he had to say. Out of everything he could have asked, she shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. "I called and you didn't tell me, he was born March 12th, I called you months before that, you never told me."
"I was going to tell you." Kono answered quietly, her head hanging as she looked for her words. "I planned to tell you and then you told me it was it was going be months before you were home and I didn't want to put more pressure on you, I wanted you to focus on what you were doing, not me and John here at home." Kono explained, she wanted her voice to sound strong, like she believed wholly in her decision not to tell Steve was pregnant. "I found out after you had been deployed, if I had known before I would have told you I promise, but you were gone and I didn't know when you were going to come back."
"That should have been my problem to deal with, not yours." Steve answered, he didn't raise his voice, he spoke evenly and calmly. "I should have known Kono, I should have known I was going to be a father. I should have known and I would have fought harder, would have worked harder to come home." This time his voice did rise and Kono wanted to reach out and hold him, but she didn't know how welcome her touch would have been.
"And that's exactly why I didn't tell you!" Kono hissed. "I wanted you to come home alive, alive and whole, all in one piece." Kono added rubbing her hands across her face. "I know you, I know you would do anything to come to home to us, but I only needed you to come home alive and you knowing you had a son, someone that would depend on you and look up to you, would make you do something stupid!"
"He's still my son!" Steve shouted his hands forming tight fists by his side. "I should have known!"
"Yes! You should have known, I've held the guilt of the decision I have made for four years, but I will you take you coming home no matter how many months or years later than watching them lower your coffin into the ground." Kono snapped. "You were missing not dead. I have been holding onto that small crumb of difference for four years, which has been slowly growing darker and darker in my heart each day you didn't come home and by each day passing I've slowly come to believe that you were dead and I would drown under the weight of the guilt of not telling you had a son to come home too." Kono's blood pounded in her ears, her heart thudding in her chest. "But I will not regret not telling you."
"God dammit." Steve groaned dragging his hands through his hair. "You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met, I don't know how to look past you not telling me our son existed, but I have to try because you have been the only thing that has kept me alive from the day I was deployed." Steve spoke his head shaking as he looked across his wife. "I worshipped the ground you walked on and I still do, I can't help myself, but I'm so angry with you for not telling me." Kono nodded she wouldn't have expected any less, but she could deal with him being angry, she could work with that. He was home and alive that was all that mattered.
"Do you want to meet him?" Kono asked rubbing her hands down her the sides of her shorts. "I'm sure Danny and Chin have gotten rid of everyone by now, so it will only be family down there and I'm sure they'd love to say hello as well." She felt like she was talking to much again, this was a day she had been hoping for, for years. John finally meeting his father and Steve finally meeting his son. Kono watched a range of emotions play across Steve's face, she even thought she saw fear there for a moment before his mask fell into place.
"Yeah, of course." Steve nodded, like it was a stupid question to ask. Kono nodded and all of a sudden the air felt awkward and she was unsure of herself around him. "Give me a minute, I wanna change." Steve added after a breath, heading for the closet. The only problem was, Kono had boxed up all his things, apart from the odd thing here and then a majority of Steve's things, like his clothes were in boxes. She hadn't wanted to get rid of them, but having them constantly there was stopping her from being able to live her life and be the best for John.
"Your things, they're not there." Kono spoke quickly, reaching for Steve to stop him from opening the closet doors. "Your things, they're in boxes, it hurt seeming them there all the time, they're in boxes." She explained softly, repeating herself. "I kept a few things out though," Kono pressed on, moving to the dresser and pulling out a pair of Steve's old sweats and a couple of tops she had taken to wearing on the odd occasion, they were looking a little worn now but they would do. "I'll leave you..." She trailed off setting the clothes on the bed, it didn't feel right being the in the same room with him while he changed. What had once been something she greatly enjoyed watching, now it felt like watching a stranger.
"Great, thanks." He answered absently looking to the items to she had set down. Kono felt even worse, he had come home expecting everything to be as he left it and everything had changed, she had changed. She had started to move on with her life and while there would have always been a Steve McGarrett shaped hole in her heart, she would have gotten on with her life and raised John herself and with the team, because they were her family. Kono stepped out the room, shutting the door behind her and for a minute she stood there breathing deeply and trying to get her thoughts in order before she faced them downstairs.
Kono left Steve to change, she made her way slowly down the steps and saw Eve showing the last of the guest out, apologizing for the family emergency that had come up. Kono saw the look in her eyes when she turned to face her, happiness and sorrow, clearly the boys had told her about the tense reunion. "Hey sweetie, how you doing?" She asked quietly taking Kono's hand in her own and giving it a squeeze.
"Oh you know, reeling over the fact my missing, presumably dead husband in back in my life and hates me for not telling him he has a son." Kono shrugged like it was no big deal, but apart from finding out she was pregnant, it was one of the biggest deals of her life. "So yeah, all good." She watched Eve roll her eyes and allowed the woman to bring her down the hall to where everyone sat on the beach. They looked up when they saw her, John across the sand and wrapping his little arms around her waist. Kono held onto him tight, he had always been her anchor to reality, made sure she kept coming home.
"Where's Steve?" It was Mary spoke, looking up at Kono from where she sat in the sand with Joan. She saw the hope and love and joy in her eyes at the thought of having her big brother back. While she always had Kono, John and Joan there for her. Steve was her only real family left and knowing she wasn't alone was a massive deal for her.
"He's just getting changed, he should be down in a minute." Kono smiled lifting John up into her arms. Pressing kiss after kiss to little face until his sweet giggle rang in her ears. "You know I love you Ko`u Aloha?" Kono breathed, brushing back his dark curls from his face. 'I know mummy' was his words, clasping her face in his little hands and pressing a sloppy kiss to her mouth. Everyone was talking around them, but it quickly fell silent when Steve appeared in the door, wearing the sweats and shirt Kono had laid out for him. Kono stood to the side with John as Mary went to Steve first, Joan in her arms meeting her Uncle for the first came to her eyes as she watched, John noticing and whispering questions to why she was crying, Kono only nuzzling into his neck ignoring the fact he was getting much too big to be held in her arms for this long.
Danny and Eve were next, the reunion like nothing she could have imagine of insults and love and Steve's ribbing on Danny finally finding someone who was willing to put up with his mouth. She could see the joy on Steve's face, she knew how much he loved Danny, Danny being the brother he had never had; and the seeing the way he welcomed Eve made everything so overwhelming. If it wasn't for the fact she had John in her arms, she couldn't have done this, couldn't have stood here and watched him greet everyone with a smile and warmth and love. She deserved it though, she had only brought this on herself.
Once he had chatted with Chin and Malia, met their two bundles of trouble that grinned at Steve and ran back down to where they were playing, it was John's turn to meet his father. Kono lowered him from her hip, a numb feeling had set in from where she had been holding him for so long. She gripped his hand and slowly led him across the lani to Steve. She stopped a few steps in from of him and crouched beside John, so she could speak him. "John baby, this is Steve." Kono spoke softly, looking up at her husband from under dark lashes. "And do you know who Steve is?" She asked quietly, they had all spoken of Steve over the years, never letting John know that there wasn't someone who loved him very very much out there. A man he could call his Daddy even if he wasn't here present. John shook his head, his little hand holding Kono's tighter. "Well he's your Daddy, you remember what we told you? The stories?" She asked rubbing her hand over the back of his. "Remember the funny ones Uncle Danny told you?" She asked again, watching as John turned to look at Danny who nodded in encouragement.
Kono watched as Steve crouched in front of them, a soft expression on his face as he looked at her and then their son. He spoke softly, his reassuring and gentle, Kono could feel herself being dragged up into his spell and when she looked to John she could see that he too was wide eyed finally at ease with Steve. "You don't have to call me Daddy if you don't want too, you can call me Steve if you want?" Kono finally tuned back into what Steve was saying and her heart broke at his words, of course John would call him Daddy, but she knew what he was trying to do. He was putting John at ease and she could feel it under her hands as her little boy relaxed against her. She felt John nod and Kono smiled a little, it was the first step. However when she looked back to Steve the look she received from him wasn't the warm and kind hearted one he had given everyone else.
They all rose back to their feet and Steve ran his fingers through John's curls as he passed heading for Danny and Chin who were talking at the BBQ. John ran off heading down the beach to play with the Twins and Malia and Eve didn't miss the look on Kono's face when she headed back inside. Kono heard the blonde following her and as she stepped into the kitchen and as soon as she was out of sight from Steve outside Kono turned and met Eve's open arms holding onto her tight as she sobbed into the woman's arms.
A/N: Ta Dah! I was feeling lovely, that and I just loved this chapter! I'm still in the middle of working on Chapter four, so it might be Tuesday before you get it - Or maybe tomorrow if I'm feeling productive tonight, Who knows XD