A/N: So, to make up for last week's longer break, this week's extra Tuesday-update comes a day early. It's not that I'm impatient, or something, honest... xD And I hope this will ease some of your minds ;)

To MidwestMexican: The first: We might get there... The second: Do you really believe Astrid will ever become some obedient little housewife? She has her own head and always will have. ;) The third: After all those comments, I finally looked up 'Blood Eagle' by now. Urgs! Not, that Geir wouldn't deserve it but I don't think Hiccup wouldn't order it done or worse, do it himself!

To harrypanther: I actually think Magnus got off too easily but that wouldn't have worked... And as for Geir: I can come up with worse than a simple Nadder poisoning, too. ):-)

To HephaestusBuilds: I'm not sure Magnus 'decided' to die xD

To snoopykid: Same as for MidwestMexican, as much as Geir deserves to be blood eagled, I doubt Hiccup would go for it. And as for the suspense: It's almost over ;)

To Razor95: I'm defending Valka again, what's up with me? :O It's Berk's superstition about a man bringing ill luck to a birth. I'm not sure she really believes in this but she, along with everyone else involved, wouldn't dare to risk it in this situation especially.

To Katveena: Sorry to have made you cry? And yes, again, what would happen to him...

To Guest: Same, sorry to have made you cry. And thanks! ;)

To Ace1137: Don't worry, it's almost over. And did anyone read it? ;)

. o O o .

Chapter 16: Awakening

When Astrid woke, she felt like an eternity had passed. Everything seemed to be a dream, nothing was real. Chaotic images and memories whirled around in her head and she had no idea which ones were true and which belonged to some nightmare or other. Only very slowly, she was able to find her way back into reality.

She lay in their bed, in their small bedroom. And she was alone. There was faint light coming from outside, shining through the closed shutters. Dawn? Blinking a few times, Astrid tried to remember what had happened. It was all so weird, so chaotic. There had been pain and so many people around her and –

With a start, her hand flew down to her stomach and she gasped. Her bump was gone. For a moment, she wasn't sure. Had that been part of her dreams as well? But no, her stomach wasn't as flat as it used to be. It just wasn't as big as it had been yesterday anymore, deflated, just as if… As if her baby wasn't in it anymore!

Panic threatened to overwhelm her as she tried to make sense of her chaotic memories. Right, she'd gone into labor. That's why there'd been so much pain. And she'd made it! Hadn't she? But where was her baby now?

"Hello?" she called out carefully, her voice barely more than a thin whisper. No reaction. She cleared her achingly dry throat and tried again. "Hello? Is anybody there?" This time, Astrid heard some commotion coming from the main room and a second later, the door opened and Helka entered the room, followed by her mother. She held a small bundle of cloth in her arms and both women were smiling warmly.

"Oh, Gods, finally! You're awake!" Her mother exclaimed while Helka hurried to her side.

"Let me have a look at you, you gave us all bit of a shock, you know?"

These words confused Astrid but she wasn't really listening anyway. Her eyes were fixed on her mother and the bundle that had begun to move and squeal. With stinging eyes, Astrid reached past her aunt and toward her mom, who carefully laid the fabric and its content into her arms.

Astrid's first thought was how perfectly it fit there. Like it was made to lie there in her arms. Then she realized that this wasn't so far off. With a gasped out mixture of a sob and a laugh, Astrid wound her arms around her baby and brushed the cloth aside to finally have a look at its face. It was beautiful! Perfect! This tiny face with the tiny nose and pink lips and those tiny, tiny ears, hidden already beneath a patch of reddish brown hair.

"Hey there," she breathed, overwhelmed as her heart threatened to burst. Then the baby opened its eyes and Astrid's filled with tears. The way it looked up at her with those light blue eyes, as if it knew perfectly well who she was. "That's right," she whispered. "I'm your mommy" She tightened her arms around the bundle as they began to shake but flinched when the baby suddenly began to cry. Helplessly, Astrid looked up at her mother and aunt who were watching her with warm smiles.

"She's probably hungry," Brenna said while Helka gave Astrid a reassuring look and then showed her how to place her arms to let her baby try to drink.

"She?" Astrid asked a little dazed. "So, it's a girl?" Her mother nodded and Astrid looked down at her daughter again, a soft smile on her face. Funny, she'd been so sure to carry a boy. But it wasn't in her to be disappointed, this little creature was just too perfect. Astrid watched her as she tried to suckle at her breast and a relaxing warmth spread through her.

"Yes, and she's such a good girl," her mother mused. "Hardly cried at all so far, not even right after she was born! She just lay there and looked at us, completely relaxed as if she already knew she was safe." Astrid frowned and a small spark of disappointment rose inside her. She'd missed those first moments. That first cry Valka had told her off… Suddenly, she looked up at Helka and gave her a worried look.

"She didn't cry?" Astrid asked, just to make sure. "Is that normal? Aren't babies supposed to cry? I mean…" She trailed off as Helka lifted her hands with a reassuring smile.

"They usually do," Helka said with a simple nod. "But if they don't it doesn't mean anything. It's rare but not bad. I was far more worried about you, lass. You passed out right afterward. Scared me quite a lot! So, if you have the heart for it would you mind handing her to Brenna for a moment? I need to examine you, make sure the afterbirth is gone and all"

For a moment, Astrid hesitated. She didn't want to let go of her daughter ever again! But that was stupid and she would be able to see her all the time after all. Her eyes stayed on that small struggling bundle while her aunt put aside Astrid's blanket. It felt surreal, still like a dream to not have that big bump always in the way. A few minutes later, Helka covered her again and nodded with a relieved sigh.

"Everything is as it should be," she affirmed and nodded toward her sister to hand the baby back to Astrid. "You two should rest now. Bond. And later we'll try to get you back on your feet. I guess you passed out because of exhaustion, not surprising after what you've been through. So it's the best if you gather some strength now before we do anything daring" Helka winked at her and Astrid gave her a grateful smile in return. Yes, she still felt exhausted! Resting for a bit longer sounded like a good idea. Although…

"Can I keep her here?" Astrid asked in a small voice. She didn't want to give her daughter away again, not even to have a rest! But Brenna nodded and pulled a chair over.

"Of course, you can," she said. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here if you need anything, help or something to eat"

"Something to drink would be nice," Astrid said sheepishly.

"I'll get you some water and a tea for later" Helka was out of the room a moment later and Astrid leaned back into the pile of cushions, looking down into the face of her now sleeping daughter.

"She's a beauty," her mother said lovingly but Astrid didn't react, couldn't even nod. Feeling this warm and heavy bundle in her arms… It was indescribable! Wonderful and yet frightening at the same time. Maddening and soothing alike. It felt like time was frozen solid, not moving anymore and yet it startled her when her mother spoke again a couple of minutes later.

"Do you already have a name for her?" Brenna asked and tore Astrid out of her reverie.

"No," she murmured. "We don't. Hiccup is supposed to –" Her head whipped around to her mother, eyes shining. "Where is Hiccup?" She wanted to show him their little baby girl, their daughter, wanted to share these precious moments with him but her mother just shrugged.

"I don't know," she said unconcernedly. "Probably finally sleeping. He was awake the whole time, waited outside the whole day. Gothi even considered to knock him out, for his own good!" She chuckled lightly and a small smiled tugged at Astrid's lips. She could imagine all too well how Hiccup hadn't calmed down. It was so him…

"Anyway, we're still cleaning up your living room," Brenna went on. "Sure, Hiccup could come in now but it might be better if he waits with all the others until everything is unsoiled and presentable again. Men sometimes get a bit weakish when blood is involved" She gave Astrid a conspiratorial wink which Astrid returned with only a halfhearted smile.

That surely wasn't a fitting description of Hiccup. But if he'd been awake all the time – how long had it been anyway? She'd lost all sense of time – he definitely needed to rest.

. o O o .

The following hours were a blur for Astrid. She dozed off and woke up without any regularity, her baby girl lying in her arms next to her or on her chest, sleeping, suckling, or just watching. Sometimes, she cried but never for long and once or twice, her mother took the little girl to clean her up. Those were some peaceful hours, granted with occasional afterpains but they were piffling in comparison. Astrid wasn't thinking much during this time, too exhausted to even let her mind work. There was just the tranquility of this room, the safety of her mother's presence and the joy over her daughter's.

Regularly, her thoughts wandered to Hiccup however. She wondered whether he was awake by now and whether he was as nervous and impatient to see his daughter as she was to show her to him. More than once she thought about asking her mom to look for him. Not just because of their newborn child but also for herself. She missed his presence and would love to see his toothy smile, to feel his warm and reassuring hands. But then her daughter made some distracting noises or someone came in to bring her a new mug of tea and she forgot the thought again.

After a while, Helka and Valka entered the room and Astrid was to try and stand up. Apparently, it was important that she got up again and didn't spend too much time lying around or something like that. The first try ended with everything getting black for a moment and she found herself in Valka's stabilizing arms but after that, it became better. Every half hour they came back and she was to try anew until it wasn't an issue anymore. Astrid ate and drank and soon felt her strength returning. Finally, Brenna helped her to wash and put on fresh clothes before it was time.

It was getting dark already again when Astrid carried her little daughter over into the freshly cleaned living room. It was time to finally present their child, to their friends and family at least. She sat down in Stoick's former chair – simply because it had armrests which made handling the baby in her arms easier – and waited for Valka to open the door and let everyone in. A minute later, the usually spacious room was swarming with people and for a moment, Astrid became dizzy. It was so loud, everyone cooing and admiring the little girl. Soon, the baby began to cry and only quieted when Astrid walked up and down in the back of the room, gently rocking her up and down. It took her a while until she realized that Hiccup still wasn't there.

This was weird. Was he still sleeping? Had nobody told him? That seemed… unusual. She approached Eret who greeted her with a broad grin when he saw her.

"What a beautiful little princess for Berk's throne," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. "I fear she already has me twisted around her tiny little finger. Hey there, little one. I'm uncle Eret. Well, not really, but let's not get too theoretical" He lifted his hand and carefully caressed the baby girl's hand with his pinky finger. "So teeny," he mused absentmindedly but Astrid interrupted his reverie a moment later.

"Eret, have you seen Hiccup?" She asked casually, but her heartrate betrayed her. Something wasn't as it should be.

Eret got upright again and gave her a confused look. "Not since he flew away shortly after she was born," he said frowning. "He was horribly exhausted but wouldn't sleep as long as you were in pain so I guess he went to look for a bed. Although I thought he already was in here with you by now. I haven't seen him all day"

"No, he wasn't here," Astrid said, an uneasy feeling rising inside her.

"Ah, well. He's probably still sleeping somewhere. Odin knows he needed it after the hangover and all the commotion of the last two days" Eret paused, thinking for a moment and then nodded. "I'll go and look for him. Skullcrusher will find him no matter which cave he picked to sleep in. I'll be right back" And with these words, the ex-trapper turned and left the house.

Slowly, Astrid went back to sit down. The worst excitement from the beginning was gone, some people like her cousin Thyra or Gothi had already left and it was getting calmer. Absentmindedly, she pulled her little daughter closer to her chest. Where was Hiccup? She would have thought he wouldn't waste any time to finally see his child. Sure, it was good if he got some sleep but it was almost a day now. Would he really need to sleep that long, sleep through his daughter's first day of life?

"You know, if I weren't completely biased about my son being the most beautiful child to ever have seen this world, I might get a bit jealous. Look at all that hair! She's ridiculously cute, how did you do that?" Slowly, Astrid raised her head to look into Ruffnut's grinning face and gave her friend a tight smile. She wasn't in the mood for idle small talk right now and Ruff seemed to realize that, too.

"It's good to see you upright and awake again," She said more earnestly. "You frightened us, you know? It took ages before Valka finally came out of here and announce the two of you were alright. For a while, we thought you wouldn't make it, that you both would be… dead…" The last word had been barely more than a whisper and Astrid gulped. She remembered. By now, she knew that this tense atmosphere of pain and fear hadn't been a nightmare but harsh reality. All those anxious faces and tense commands mixed with her own terror. It had been real and it had been horrible! It was over now and it had ended well but the memories remained.

Ruff leaned over and laid a finger into the baby girl's hand. "Honestly though, she's practically too cute to be human. Are you sure she's Hiccup's?" she asked teasingly and made a step backward when Astrid glared at her. "Just kidding! Look at that hair, there's no doubt! Just good that Geir's punch didn't hurt her at all or she might have a matching limping leg as well"

It was probably meant as a joke but instead, Ruff's comment sent an icy chill down Astrid's spine. Right… That part hadn't been a nightmare either. Memories of Geir and Magnus rose in her mind, of how they'd held her and her fear they might harm her or her baby. But it was strange. She'd felt horrible out there on the cliff with them, she remembered it. But now…

Compared with the long and painful hours that had followed, the endless fear her child might not survive… Compared with all that, those brief minutes with Geir and Magnus didn't seem to matter anymore. She would never forgive them but truth be told, what had followed had been much worse! But at the same time, it hadn't been that bad, retrospectively at least. Because right now, she held the prize for her ordeal in her arms and it had been worth it!

With a tense half-smile, Astrid pulled her daughter closer to her chest. "Yes," she murmured. "Good thing he didn't hurt her…" But the idea alone that he could have harmed her…

In that moment, the front door flew open and Eret burst into the room. His eyes were wide and he was panting as he cleaved through the room toward Astrid. Her anxiety grew when she spotted his apprehensive expression and she was on her feet a moment later. She didn't want to think about what all this could mean but when Eret had finally caught his breath, she wasn't even surprised.

"He's not here!" He gasped, catching everyone's attention at once. "Skullcrusher and I searched the whole island, Hiccup is gone!"

There were two or three seconds of silence before everyone began to speak at once.

"What do you mean, he's gone?"

"He must be here somewhere!"

"He wouldn't leave without seeing his daughter!"

"Where would he go anyway?"

"Have you looked in Toothless' cove?"

Everyone was talking over the other. The sudden noise was deafening and to top it all the small girl in Astrid's arms began to cry again.

Astrid herself became eerily calm though. It took less than a second before everything fell into place inside her head and she slumped down into the chair again, her legs too weak to keep her up right now. "Eret?" she asked, but her whispered voice drowned in the chaos of all the other voices. She gave herself a few seconds to gather some strength and then tried anew.

"Eret!" This time, Astrid's voice rose above everyone else's and the room became quite in an instant except the low whimpering of the two babies. Everyone turned toward her and the ex-trapper next to her, gazes flickering from one to the other.

"Eret, you said Hiccup flew away right after she was born," Astrid stated soberly, even though she was barely able to keep the panic inside her in check.

"Yes, but-"

"Was that before or after Valka came outside to tell you we were okay?" An ominous silence spread across the room, the men exchanging guarded looks which made Eret's answer almost superfluous.

"Before"

The room seemed to tilt sidewise as everything suddenly made sense. Around her, people were talking again but she barely listened. She wasn't wondering where he could be, why he hadn't come to greet his daughter, where he had flown, what he was doing. It all made sense.

"Astrid?" Valka's hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up into those green eyes that were so very much like Hiccup's. "What are you thinking? Where did he go?" Surely Valka just asked to get some order into the room. She was clever, surely she must have seen it herself. But there was only confusion in her eyes and just like everyone else, she hung on her every word as she finally spoke.

"Hiccup knew she was okay. Before he left me to talk to Dagur, Helka confirmed that she was okay. But when she didn't cry and nobody came outside to deliver the good news… He must have thought she was still-born. And he knows that Geir hit me, right? You all saw him in the Hall, how angry he was. He even punched Geir. Hiccup! Now, tell me. What would he do if he thinks Geir is responsible for our child's death?"

"He would kill him!" Snotlout stated flatly and Astrid saw the grim smiles on almost everyone's face… The panic inside her grew stronger.

"Exactly," She confirmed. "I surely won't say Geir doesn't deserve it, but… Vigilante justice is not like Hiccup. He would regret it for all his life! Especially when he learns that it was for no reason!" There was concern on the faces around her when what she'd said sank in. They nodded and shared troubled glances but nobody said anything.

"Why are you just standing here?" Astrid exclaimed, panic now reaching out to cloud her thoughts. "We need to stop him! We can't let him do that!"

"He's gone for almost a day now," Valka said quietly. "If you're right and he went to kill Geir, it's most likely too late to stop him. Besides, no dragon would be able to catch up to Toothless anyway"

Astrid slumped down in her seat, holding on to the bundle in her arms for dear sanity. Valka was right. It probably was too late.

"But wouldn't he be back by now?" Threw Tuff in. "They can't have gone that far with just three able men, right?"

Just three able men? Astrid thought dizzily but got distracted again right away.

"Right!" Eret confirmed. "He should have been able to reach them within an hour. He ought to be back by now!"

"And since he's obviously not I can think of three possibilities. Well, four, but…" Dagur shook his head, frowning. "Either he's… drawing it out or waiting for the right moment or… or it's done already and he just won't come back"

"What's the fourth possibility?" Lia asked.

"It's… not really a possibility!" Dagur said resolutely. "There's no way they could have stopped him in any way!

We know how to deal with them!

Geir's words echoed through Astrid's mind and she almost sobbed. No, she didn't consider this possibility a real option. She couldn't or she would go insane! Around her, the babbling went on but she wasn't listening. She just held their daughter tight while jumbled thoughts became somewhat of a plan in her mind.

"Dagur is right," She finally said and everyone quieted in an instant. "It's got to be one of these three options. And whichever it might be, I need to go after him! Stormfly will find them wherever they went"

"What?" Her mother exclaimed disbelievingly. "No, you can't! You need to rest. And what about your baby? You can't just leave her!" Astrid closed her eyes and tightened her arms around her daughter once more. It wasn't like she wanted to leave her, but… but she had to go after Hiccup!

"Helka?" Astrid asked as calmly as she could muster. Her verdict was what counted.

Her aunt looked her over for a moment, her expression unreadable. "It would be better if you would rest some more," she finally said. "You've been through a lot. But you've recovered fairly well so far and I'd say you could fly if you need to. And as for your child: It's the same. It surely would be better if you'd stay but it won't harm her if we take care of her some more. We've done that already after all while you were unconscious. We have goat milk or even Ruffnut could feed her if needed"

Astrid threw Ruff a quick glance and her friend nodded. "Just don't take too long or your girl might think she's a nut, too" She mumbled, eliciting a tiny smile from Astrid.

"But why you?" Her mother tried anew. "There are other dragons who could track them, too, right? Maybe Spitelout could go, or-"

"Rumblehorns are the best trackers we know of," Valka threw in with an apologetic grimace in Astrid's direction. She seemed torn between her wish to get her son back and for Astrid to stay with her baby. "Skullcrusher might not be as familiar with Toothless' and Hiccup's scent as Stormfly is but he has proven his ability to find them anywhere already"

All faces turned to Eret who looked around perplexedly. Then he crossed his arms, his face turning into a hard mask. "Sure, he can find them," He stated. "But I thought you all know Hiccup better than I do. If he really believes his child is dead and possibly Astrid as well then there's only one person who could convince him otherwise. And that surely is not me!" He pointedly nodded at Astrid and all eyes turned toward her again.

She swallowed the rising lump in her throat and gave Eret a grateful smile. He at least understood. It had to be her!

. o O o .

Going for an extended flight would probably be the first thing she'd do after their baby was born.

The memory of this thought popped up in Astrid's mind and despite her situation, a sarcastic laughter bubbled up inside her. She'd wished so dearly for it to become reality but this was definitely not what she'd meant!

Astrid wasn't sensitive when it came to pain in general and the past days especially had expanded her knowledge of how much she could endure. And truth be told, this probably wasn't as bad as giving birth had been. But then her body had been drugged by anticipation and happiness while all she felt now was anxiety and fear.

She had to find Hiccup! It didn't matter that her body wasn't used to flying a dragon anymore, that all her muscles hurt and the skin on her thighs was throbbing raw already. It didn't matter that her body was far from recovered after carrying a child, that her abdominal muscles were practically non-existent while all her other muscles were too soft and weak to function as she was used to. It didn't matter that it felt like giving birth had torn her body apart, that she was bleeding constantly and her leggings were soaked through already. And it didn't matter that her entire body hurt by now because there simply was no comfortable position for her to sit in for any length of time. Nothing of all this mattered except finding Hiccup. If he was still findable…

Dagur was probably right. Astrid had lost all track of time but, of course, if Hiccup had gone after Geir to kill him, it would be too late to stop him by now. But that didn't change much, she still had to find him. Because there'd been another point where Dagur had been right. If Hiccup believed her and their child to be dead then it was entirely possible that he wouldn't return to Berk anytime soon. Or at all…

The hours dragged on and Astrid had no idea where they were or in which direction they were flying. She hadn't given Stormfly any directions except to go and find Toothless. This wasn't the first time she was looking for Hiccup after all, even though it had never before been so pressing. She trusted her Nadder to be able to find her best friend though, even in the dark of night and across the ocean.

No, she wouldn't even have known where to start looking for Hiccup but it didn't surprise her either when the cragged cliffs of Itchy Armpit appeared in the dim starlight in front of them. It had always been their place, an island too far off any central routes and not big enough or important enough to be inspected by the other riders after it had been mapped. No-one except the two of them had ever been here. It was their sanctuary when they needed a break from all the responsibility. Of course, Hiccup would come here to mourn her.

It didn't take long to find him. As expected, she found him at their usual place atop one of the cliffs. He lay on the grassy ground, barely more than a shadow and awfully close to the cliff's edge. "Hiccup?" she called carefully as not to startle him but didn't get the reaction she'd hoped for. Instead of turning toward her or looking up, he seemed to roll himself into a tight ball and Astrid could hear his low whimper in the quiet night.

Some clouds drifted out of the way and the moon came out as she made a hesitant step out of the trees and tried anew. "Hiccup? It's me!" This time, his sobbing was unmistakable but at least he moved, lifted his head and directed his gaze toward her. And broke down with a howl that almost tore out her heart.

"NO!" he wailed. "No, please not. Not again! Gods, what have I done that you hate me so much?" Astrid frowned in confusion. What was he talking about? But before she could even start to make sense of his words, he kept on, though softer now. "I'm so sorry, Astrid. It is all my fault. I know you will never be able to forgive me but believe me I'm sorry. I'll carry this burden with me for the rest of eternity," He looked up at her moonlit form and gasped. "Gods, Astrid, you are so beautiful. I always knew you couldn't be an ordinary mortal. My Valkyrie... I love you. I will always love you and I'm so sorry…" His voice broke, choking on his tears and Astrid felt her own eyes stinging as well. He really seemed to believe she was dead…

Slowly, she walked toward him, one careful step after the other. Every motion hurt but it was nothing compared to the pain of seeing him like this. Astrid crouched down at his side and lifted one trembling hand to lay it on his head and run her fingers through his hair. She wanted to say something, tell him he was wrong, she wasn't dead, was alright just like their daughter was, too. But she couldn't utter a word, her throat sealed shut by an intense lump of sorrow and exhaustion. Beneath her touch, Hiccup trembled and shook and she used her other hand as well to lift him up and turn his head toward her. When his eyes met hers, she saw the anguish and grief in them and even if she could have spoken she wouldn't have known what to say. Words were not enough. Instead, she leaned forward and kissed him.

At first, Hiccup barely reacted. His trembling grew worse and he just keened pitifully against her lips. But then some inner dam seemed to break. Suddenly, his arms were around her, almost crushing her against his chest and his lips were moving with hers, kissing her back desperately. When they finally parted, both gasping for air, Hiccup stared at her with wide hopeful eyes.

"You are real," he whispered and Astrid nodded, still unable to speak. Hiccup lifted his hand to brush her hair out of her face and trace her lips, not quite able to believe it. "You are real," he repeated. "You're… you're alive!" This last word gasped out like a prayer broke the spell.

"Yes, I am," Astrid breathed, tears welling up in her eyes. "I am and I'm here. It's alright, it's over." She kept repeating those words over and over as she leaned against Hiccup to feel his reassuring warmth and the comfort of his presence. Their hands wandered, moving up and down their arms and backs, clutching at their clothes and caressing their faces. Their lips ghosted over tear-damp skin, mapping their faces and necks and inhaling their scents. It was a reconnection of another kind, in a way even deeper and more meaningful than sex. Astrid might not have consciously admitted it to herself but deep down she'd feared to be too late. She'd feared to not find Hiccup, in time or at all, to never see him again. And, clearly, Hiccup had feared the same.

"If this is just another dream then I want to stay," Hiccup weakly mumbled against her neck after a while. "Please, stay with me! I can't live without you. I just can't… Whatever else happens… happened… I need you"

They lay in the grass by now, both too exhausted to keep themselves upright, cuddled into each other's arms and seeking each other's closeness. Astrid felt heavy with tiredness and probably could have fallen asleep right then and there. It wasn't too cold here with their shared body heat and it surely wouldn't be the first night they ever spent here, out in the open. And yet, she fought down the sleepiness and forced herself to stay awake. There was just too much left to say.

"You're the one who left," she reminded him carefully. They had to talk about it but she feared what he would have to tell. Had he found Geir? Had he executed him? And if so, how? How much pain had he inflicted upon himself by doing so? How deep were the wounds in his soul? And of course, there also was their daughter. He hadn't even asked after their child yet, seemed to have banished every thought and memory of it. She could simply tell him but feared what else was linked to that, what else he might be trying to forget. She was afraid of the answers to these questions but needed to hear them in order to help him heal.

Hiccup's arms around her became tighter as he tensed up and she heard his labored intake of breath. She could feel his heartbeat quickening and his whole body trembling. "I thought… I thought you were dead," he said a minute later, voice barely audible. "Listening to your screams was horrible but when you suddenly stopped… It was so quiet suddenly. No cries and nobody said a thing. No sounds echoed outside and nobody came outside to tell us anything either. And all I could think was So this is what people call dead silence! It was all that made any sense to me. That you were dead and nobody wanted to deliver this news. " She felt him swallow and pulled herself closer toward him. "I… I didn't want to hear it! I thought… It would become reality if I were to hear it, so I left…"

"I passed out," Astrid murmured as an explanation when Hiccup didn't go on. "From exhaustion. Didn't wake up until dawn," She felt him nod and for a few minutes, they were both quiet.

"I'm sorry!" Hiccup then breathed. "I'm sorry for leaving you, for letting you deal with-" He swallowed. "I was a coward! That's no excuse but it's all I have. I'm so sorry!" This time it was Astrid's turn to nod. She didn't fully understand him but it was enough to forgive him.

"We should fly back, I guess," he murmured after another pause. "You're still bleeding-" Oh, so he had noticed... "-and we… have to face reality, I guess," When he helped her up, Astrid saw the silent tears still running down his cheeks and another thought occurred to her.

I thought you were dead.

He hadn't just been talking about her, she realized. Of course, that was why. Why he hadn't even asked whether their child was alright, whether it was a boy or a girl, what it looked like. He was still convinced that it was dead.

"Yes, we should fly back," Astrid agreed hesitantly. How should she rectify this? He seemed so brittle right now, like even a light breeze could shatter him. Hearing that their child, their sweet baby girl, was alive could be a shock to him, however good this news was. But he had to know. "There's someone waiting for you, you know?" She added carefully. "And I bet she's eager to meet you"

For a couple of seconds, it seemed as if Hiccup hadn't heard her. He was pulling her along toward the shadows beneath the trees where Toothless and Stormfly were resting, unperturbed by her words. But then he stopped mid-step, almost making Astrid run into him, and slowly turned back toward her.

"She…" was all he was able to gasp out, eyes wide. Astrid could see his mind working behind them and gave him a tentative smile. It took Hiccup several more seconds in which his expression changed many times. The anguish from before first made way for confusion and then for astonishment before it turned into disbelief and finally into joy that made the tears run even more freely. "She's alive?" He gasped and Astrid nodded.

"She's alive and healthy," She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes as well. "and perfect. She has your hair…" her voice broke at the memory of her little baby girl, a helpless smile creeping over her face.

The fraction of a second later, she found herself in Hiccup's embrace, tightly surrounded by his shaking arms. "Oh, Gods!" She heard him mutter, over and over. "Oh, Gods! Oh, Gods, I…" Every now and then, his words got interrupted by a mix of sniffling and laughing. When he finally calmed down again, his face was firmly buried in the nape of her neck, sobbing freely and firmly holding on to her. "Gods, what have I done?" he whispered. "I never should have left! Now you're here and… and…" Hiccup retreated to look at her, eyes clouded. "Did you name her? I wasn't there, so…" He trailed off when Astrid shook her head.

"No, I haven't," Hiccup nodded and leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed but with a careful smile on his lips now.

"Let's hurry back then," he whispered. "You need rest and… and our daughter needs a name. Gods, I can't believe it! So Geir didn't get you after all, neither of you!" Laughter bubbled up from deep inside him and it sounded liberating. His words made Astrid wary though

"About Geir…" she started hesitantly. Did you kill him? She didn't dare to ask this question, didn't want to start this topic now that Hiccup was finally lightening up. But they had to talk about it.

Hiccup sobered up in an instant and tightened his arms around her again. And then he said the word that should relieve her but instead made her tense up with apprehension.

"Geir is dead!"

. o O o .

Yay!

Or not...?

The last chapter (for now) on Friday :o

And a disclaimer: Hiccup believes to see Astrid's ghost after she turned (back?) into a Valkyrie. I know this is not how things worked according to Viking's belief. But it is how it works in this story so you have to deal with it :o)