Kakashi looked over his new genin squad curiously as they sat on the roof, soaking up the sunshine. To say they were not what he expected upon reading their files would be something of an understatement.

First, he was pretty sure that Sasuke wasn't supposed to be dancing around in a frilly pink dress, while singing about how he was going to seduce and marry the man that had taken his first kiss, to a stuffed tomato.

Next was said man, who was trying to keep as far from the pink disaster area as humanly possible. Last he looked, which was more recent then Naruto realized, the blonde didn't have fox ears, a tail, nor was thick fur supposed to cover his body. He was also almost perfectly certain that the kyuubi jinchuuriki normally wore clothes... if that day-glo orange jumpsuit he used to wear could be considered clothes, that is. As is, he was surprised to find out that Naruto was neither male nor female, but he was fairly certain that Icha Icha: Curiousity #235 classified it as futanari, or hermaphroditic. He was VERY glad that he could erase the memory of this lovely vision from his already scarred mindscape. Otherwise he might just have had to follow his father down that lovely seppuku road.

Looking at the final member of his squad made him reevaluate that stance again. The kunoichi of the year was sitting between the two 'male' members of the squad. Her profile suggested she was gifted with exceptional chakra control, and an incredible intellect. It did not mention that she would talk with herself, arguing back and forth about killing everyone in the world or not. The worst part is that when she talked about killing people she got an angelic, innocent looking smile, while the other side could quite possibly scare Kyuubi itself. The massive battle axe behind her didn't help matters much at all.

For the fifth time in two minutes he tried to break the genjutsu on him, only to find none there. Suddenly he wondered if he wasn't getting a contact high off of Sarutobi's 'tobacco' from earlier, or maybe that living ramen monster at Naruto's place was doing it. Looking at the group, he decided that it would be best to nip this in the bud.

"Right..." he drawled casually, gathering the attention of the new team. "Let's start with intros..."

"You first oh sexy, sexy sensei..." Sasuke purred saucily while leaning forward towards the jounin.

Kakashi cleared his throat, and shrugged, going first. "Maaa... Well my name is Hatake Kakashi... I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes... Dreams for the future... Hmm..." Kakashi paused as though to think about it for a moment, before continuing as though he gave an answer, "And I have lots of hobbies..."

"Foolish mortal only gave us his name! HE MUST BE SLAIN FOR MY GLORY!" an innocently smiling Sakura demanded before the demonic glaring one came out. "No, he is our teacher Kiyohime, we must respect him."

Kakashi raised his exposed eye at the pink haired woman, subtly preparing his kunai for defense. "Your turn miss schizo..."

"I'm Sakura Haruno, I like Sasuke-kun, Slash-kun," she stated sweetly with that demonic glare look, petting the battle axe she had apparently named. "My dream for the future is to become a strong kunoichi. My hobby is stalking Sasuke-kun. What I dislike is Naruto, Ino, and being made fun of for my pink hair."

Kakashi was about to move over to one of the others, when her face switch from the demonic glare to the angelic smile. "I'm Sakura, but you can call me Kiyohime! I like Slash-kun and Naruto's pranks!" the possessed pink hair girl shouted proudly for the universe to hear. "My dream for the future is to kill everyone on the planet, glass the surface, and then spread salt all over it! I dislike being made fun of because of my pink hair, the color pink, and not being able to kill things!"

Kakashi stared at the girl flatly for a few minutes before flicking a finger off to the left, indicating for Naruto to go first. He felt that he was prepared for anything, he was wrong... very very wrong...

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, recently fused with the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and taking over as the head of the Kitsune clans. My likes are ramen, Iruka-sensei, gardening, foxes, and new jutsu. My dislikes are tardy lazy bastards, psychotic fangirls, dogs, monogamy, how long it takes for ramen to cook, and Sasuke-teme," Naruto stated, ducking under Slash-kun swung by Sakura before continuing like nothing happened, "My hobbies are creating new jutsu, pervert busting, testing new ramen, gardening, training, and looking for future husbands and wives both human and fox. My dream for the future is to become the Hokage, lead the Kitsune clans to greatness, and have a harem."

Kakashi looked at Naruto for a few minutes as it wagged its tail lazily. He was pretty sure that it was smirking and winking at him, while mentally undressing him. He was pretty sure he was going to need new, heavier locks and traps on his apartment, and maybe let the more savage members of his pack of nindogs hang out as his place. Some thicker curtains too would help. Yes that sounded like a good idea.

Finally, without prompting, Sasuke sang out in a sing-song voice. "Hiiiii~~~! I'm Sasuke-kun, but you can call me yours... I just got put on some great new medicine called Prozac... I like tomatoes, Naruto-kun, sexy teachers like you, my Prozac, and sharp and pointy fun-fun things. I dislike stalker fangirls, straight men, men that won't submit to me, and my brother Itachi. My dream is to capture and rape my brother Itachi, and then make him repopulate the Uchiha clan while I build my all male harem!"

Something deep inside Kakashi, told him that he might want to reconsider given them a passable test tomorrow, and that he didn't want to go to sleep anywhere near the three of them. Ever.

"Maa... well that's it for introductions, tomorrow we'll take a test to prove you're ready to be gennin under my command. Just so you know, I have never passed a group before, and in general the fail rate is 66 percent. Meet me at training ground forty-two at ten tomorrow morning... oh and I suggest not eating breakfast, you'll only throw it up."

Without even waiting for their replies, he beat a hasty retreat to the Hokage tower; he had a LOT of questions to ask Sarutobi-sama.