Hey there! I know I'm a bit too late with this update... Blame all the events I had to play in this online game...

Lots of thanks and cookies to Miko Hayashi, Jestie Uchie and my lil honey for your lovely reviews! Really, thank you so much! ^.^

Rate Mal D: Tja wer kann das wohl sein... Hmmmh *-*

About the title of this chapter: You know BlueEyes by WithinTemptation? After I finished that chapter and later listened to that song I was like: WTF? The lyrics perfectly fit Gaaras past! I went so much OMG and WTF that I chose the song title as the title of the chapter and I'd like to suggest that you listen to that song while reading the past scenes, well just if you wanna! ^.^

So much to my ramblings... now enjoy!

Sins and Sunshine

Chapter 19: Blue Eyes

After a long day of sitting around and waiting for time to pass by it finally became dark. So after a nice supper in the tower kitchen – and guess who had to cook – I could finally go to bed. Luckily in this tower where rooms with three beds each especially prepared for those who reached the tower early, so I didn't have to sleep on the cold stone floor. Lucky me! Well, not as lucky as I first guessed since my sleep was full of dreams that that I didn't have for a long time now...

"Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with other kids?" the three-year-old Minari asked her mom in a whiny voice.

"Because you're something special, my love." the woman answered smiling down at the little girl that was tucking at her apron while she was preparing supper.

"But Gaara's also special, so why can't I play with him?"

The smile turned into a frown as her daughter brought up the name of that cursed boy. She kneeled down and gently stroke the girl's cheek.

"Because he's a monster, love. So you mustn't go near him."

"But if he's a monster then so am I, right?" the girl persisted.

"That's something different."

"In which way? Explain it to me!"

Her mother sighted and stood up to face the vegetables again that she was cutting before.

"The Ichibi got sealed in that boy to bring it under control and use it as a weapon. It's evil and an instrument of war and above all he is too weak to control it and could go berserk any time."

"But isn't it the same with me and Kumiho?"

"No, it isn't. Since generations the Takanaki clan suppresses the ancient fox demon Kumiho by sealing it inside their clansmen to keep her from savaging the lands. Its an honour to be chosen as the vessel. You're a hero not a monster, you understand?" with the last sentence the woman kneeled down again, laid her hands on the girls shoulders and looked seriously in her eyes as to find out if she really understood what was just said. But the girls kept being persistent and retorted the gaze defiantly.

"No, I don't! If this is such a honour, when why get I hidden away from the others and can't go outside to play?"

"That's because if the elders would find out about Kumiho, they'd fear it's might and try to destroy it, resulting in killing us all together. Thus we have to keep it a secret."

The girl gulped as her mother said this so seriously. She was well aware of the ninja world and its harshness so things like killing are normal means to get rid of potential dangers. But in spite of knowing she was still a naive kid and just didn't want to understand.

"But why are you so much against me playing with Gaara?"

"Because of his unstable mind and lack of power to control the Shukaku he's under constant watch, so the danger of you getting exposed is too great when you are mear him. In another case he could also lose control and try to kill you and I couldn't forgive myself if that ever happened."

"He would never hurt me!" the girl shouted wanting to protect her friend. The woman bitterly smiled back at her.

"I know that, love, that he'd never hurt you on his own will, but Shukaku would. Unlike you he has to fight his biju day and night so it could easily happen that at a weak moment the Ichibi takes over and hurts you." She now patted her daughter's head and continued with a much gentler voice.

"Your dad any I, we understand if you sneak out sometimes to play with other kids. It's okay as long as you don't overdo it. But please promise me to stay away from Gaara."

Minari couldn't the pleading gaze of her mother and averted her eyes. She understood the worries of her parents, but still, she really liked Gaara and didn't want to break contact with him. But she wouldn't be able to tell this her mom, so she looked up and nodded.

"Okay."

"Thank you." her mother replied smiling and stroke the girl's hair again before getting back to her supper preparations.

Minari took the stairs up to her room and after closing the door behind her she flopped onto her bed burying her face in the pillows. After a while she turned her head to gaze at the window. She stood up and walked over to peek through the glass on the now empty playgrounds. Seems like the other kids already had to go home. Their house was located next to the playgrounds with her room facing there. Often she spent hours to stand there and watch the other kids playing. There she'd always notice that boy that sat on the swing watching the others play with with a longing gaze the same way she did. This was when she first got curious about Gaara and since then she always wanted to talk to him, thought she never had the courage to.

Sighting she turned around and flopped on the bed again, this time facing the ceiling.

I don't know what to do... the girl thought releasing yet another discouraged sight.

You always wanted to be friend that Ichibi-boy. And now that you did, why are you doubting yourself so much?The voice called Kumiho asked the girl.

But I gave mommy my promise.

Promises are just words. Nothing that should stop you.

But mommy trusts me.

And that boy trusts you to come and play with him again. What do you plan on doing? Telling him that you won't play with him anymore thus breaking his heart?

The girl's eyes widened in shock.

Never would I do this!

Then you have to make a decision. The trust of your mother or the happiness of that boy.

But I don't know... shethoughtsadly.

Then take your time to think about it. But don't take too long, the boy will wait for you tomorrow and till then you have to make up your mind. Kumiho said and then left the girl's mind leaving even heavier feelings behind.

"Great now it's even worse then before..." Minari mumbled then turned to sleep.

3rd person POV...

"Wow, she really went to sleep. I thought she was lying when she said she was going to bed this early." Nobu whispered as he looked as the sleeping form of his team comrade careful not to wake her up. When he wanted to step nearer to inspect her further he got stopped by an ungentle yank on his collar. Ayano pulled him to the bed that was the farthest away from the sleeping girl and motioned him that she'd prevent him from going anywhere near her.

Much to Minari's dismay, every team got only one room to share. So after long and futile struggle of her that she didn't want to share a room with Nobu, Ayano promised her that she'd stop him if he ever tried something funny on her. Luckily for her he wasn't stupid enough to risk his life on something silly.

The next day in the evening when her parents were away little Minari sneaked out of home again to visit her red-haired friend who was already waiting for her at the playground.

"Gaara!" she shouted happily almost running straight into him "Sorry that I'm late, I had to wait until my parents were gone."

"I thought you wouldn't come." the boy mumbled a bit sad by the thought.

"Aww, never would I do this. I promised I'd come, didn't I?" the girl answered grinning and ruffling the boy's red locks.

"But you know" she then said with a more serious voice "My mom told me I can't play with you anymore."

As soon as she said this she was instantly confronted with a pair of shocked and utterly sad blue eyes.

"Buuuut" she continued with a grin "since I don't want to, we have to keep it a secret from them. Is that okay with you?"

First the boy stared at her confusedly but then nodded with a small smile on his lips.

"So now after this is resolved, what do you want to do?"

~After this day the two kids tried to see each other as often as possible and soon became inseparable friends. Every time her parents were at work Minari'd go and see Gaara who'd stay at the playground everyday waiting for her. This way more than a year had passed and their friendship grew stronger and stronger.

Of course Minari's parents already knew what was going on. One night when her mother checked on her while she was aspleep she heasd her calling out Gaara's name. Then some time later when she came early from work she saw the two kids at the playground. Of course her parents didn't like this but after witnessing how happy those two were together they didn't have the heart to separate them and just had to accept this and pray that nothing would happen.

~Then one certain day...

"You broke it!" Minari shouted at the boy while pointing at the pile of broken parts that once has been a small wooden music box. The girl brought it with her to show it Gaara, but while playing he tripped and fell on it thus braking it.

"That wasn't on purpose!" the boy shot back. "I didn't mean to!"

"That was the only memento of my grandmother and you broke it!"

"I already said I'm sorry, I'll buy you a new one!"

"I don't want a new one, I want this one! You're a real jerk!"

"And you're a fusspot!"

"Crybaby!"

"Silly cow!"

"Ahhrg! I hate you! I won't play with you ever again!" she screamed now completely enraged and angrily stomped away.

The boy glared after her with a sour expression. Then he glanced at the broken toy, collected its parts and then walked away.

The while Minari stormed into her house, slamming the door shut behind her, leaned against it and started crying. She regretted to say such harsh words to her only friend but now that she did she didn't have the guts to go and apologize to him. She sat there on the ground crying and sobbing, even after her mother came home she couldn't stop. The woman pulled her into a embrace and batted her back then stood up her daughter still in her arms and pazed back and forth in the living room rocking her in her arms.

Suddenly the got smashed open and Minari's father stormed in making the females looking up at him in suprise. He was huffing and sweating an expression of horror on his face.

"Dear, they found out! We have to get away from here, fast!"

They all shared a horrified gaze. The worst case scenario was taking place. They hurried to leave but were stopped by two explosions. One on the upper floor, the other by the window beside them. The man pushed the other two to the ground to shield them from the glass fragments and the blast of the explosion.

"Shit." he cursed and hurried his family to stand up and get out but it was already too late. They were now surrounded by 3 Anbu, some more coming from upstairs.

The man grabbed the shoulders of his daughter and wife holding them tightly to him. He observed nervously the shinobi, sweatdrops gathering on his forehead, while the other two wore expressions of fear, the little girl shaking violently.

"Noriko, Shin and Minari Takanaki, last survivors of the Takanaki-clan." One of the intrudors began speaking from behind his bird mask and taking a step forth. The other masked men also drew closer as if expecting the small family to escape any moment. Unperturbed the bird mask continued with a monotone cold voice.

"For being in possession of a demon thus committing high treason you shall be sentenced to death."

The family man's grip tightened as all of them watched the Anbu in horror as he gave his subordinates the signal to attack. Minari was pushed back and her parents took a stance in front of her, a determination in their eyes that said they'd fight to death to protect her. Unfortunately they were no match for the powerful Anbu and the girl had to watch in horror as her mother got pierced by the sword of the enemy when she used her body to shield her daughter.

"Dear!" Minari's father shouted as he saw his wife gliding off the now blood stained blade. Unfortunately this distraction caused him to end up just like her, with a kunai sticking out from his throat. He tried to call out to the girl that stared at him in fear, but all that came out of his mouth was blood and gurgling sounds.

Horrified the little girl watched her parents sinking to the ground with a hollow stare and covered in their own blood.

"M-monny, d-daddy." the girl stuttered her eyes filling with tears.

"Wake up, mommy, daddy, don't die!" she then screamed shaking her parents' dead forms violently.

The men shared a look before one of them stepped forth making the girl look up at him with an appalled stare.

"Don't worry kid, soon you'll see your parents again." the man said and rose his sword.

"You killed my parents." the girl stated now without any trace of fear in her voice as if the death of her parents had robbed her sanity and fixated her gaze on the man in front of her. The pupils of her eyes turned into slits and an ominous aura started to emitt from her, making the shinobi startle and back away from her.

"What the hell is she?" he asked nervously as the girl kept silently staring at him.

"She's a demon, you forgot? Now, kill it before it's too late!" another one urged him.

As he looked back at her she started smirking before throwing her head in the neck and screaming out of pain. She screamed and screamed the pain getting greater while strange silvery chakra concentrated around her.

"Retreat!" the bird masked man shouted but it was already too late. The chakra compressed around her body and got discharged in the form of a giant lightning tower that engulfed the whole house including everyone inside it and enlightened the village for a few seconds before disappearing in the sky leaving only the traces of a burned house behind.

Tearing her eyes open Minari stared at the wooden ceiling of the tower room they used as their night quarter. Her body was soaked in cold sweat and her mouth too dry to even let out a scream. Which was actually a good think since this way she didn't wake up her teammates. Sitting up she looked over at them. Ayano slept with her head resting on her arm and Nobu was soundly asleep twitching in his dream.

Quietly the girl glided out of her bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. The splashed the cold water into her face and took a sip before taking a look at herself in the small mirror that hang over the sink. She was bleach and dried tears had left a crust on her cheeks and the corners of her eyes. Quickly she wiped them away with a wet towel and then put it in her neck to get away the sticky feeling of sweat. She wanted to take a shower but then she would surely wake up the other so she decided against it, instead left the room and went on a stroll around the tower. The while the thought of that dream, no, that memory she had and remembered what had happened after that incident.

Slowly the girl opened my eyes and stared at the endless desert in front of her that was enlightened by the soft light of the countless stars. She tried to stand up but instantly flopped back to the ground from the great pain in her body that felt as if it was burning. What exactly had happened?

I saved you, Kumiho stated in her head with a matter-of-fact-voice.

W-what happened to my parents?

They are dead. You're the only one that survived.

W-what?

They were already dead when I gave you my powers. There was nothing you could have done for them, she stated cooly.

They really are dead... She thought sadly staring at the nightsky tears again running down her cheeks. Sobs came out of her throat as the girl let all the sadness out that she felt inside of her. She had lost everything. Her home, her parents, her only friend, everything!

They think you also died along with the others. You should take the chance and flee as long as they still do so, the voice urged her reminding Minari of her current situation.

Shakily she stood up and wiped away the tears with her sleeve. Kumiho was right. But there was still something which hindered her to just leave like that. She turned to face the village and dashed towards it, looking for the only person which had to know that she was still alive.

~She found Gaara on the roof of a building. I wanted to go near him but something didn't let me. An ominous chakra filled the air and hindered me to approach him.

He stood there crying, but something just didn't feel right. His eyes were full of hatred and anger, he also had the kanji for love tattooed on his forehead. In front of him lay his uncle on the ground, dead.

"My family wants to kill me, my friend hates me. If it's like this then I don't need any love!" he said with a cold and hurt voice.

The girl felt her heart break. Again she broke a promise to a person important to her. They wanted to be best friends forever and what did she?

She wanted to be near him, take him in her arms, telling him how sorry she was for what she said to him and that she was so happy to have a friend like him.

But the immense chakra restrained her from doing so and Kumiho kept urging to get out of the here.

With a heavy heart and tears in her eyes she turned away and left. As she did so she wished for her friend to find his happiness and that he wouldn't have to suffer like that anymore. At the same time she was determined to become stronger so that some day when they meet again she'd be able to face him and sincerely apologize to him. Then after she was sure that Gaara had found his happiness she'd finally be able to find a home and happiness on her own.

Tears ran down my face. Now I was reunited with my friend again but he didn't look happy even one tiny bit and I wasn't so sure if I had the courage to face him and to say how sorry I was for all that had happened.

I went up a flight of stairs that lead to the roof. As I opened the door I was hit by the chilly night air and stared in awe at all the stars that were shining in the sky. There was even a full moon and as I gazed at it I happened to notice a person that sat right in front of it on the edge of the roof top.

"The moon is beautiful today." I said in a soft voice as I stepped beside him still staring at the scenery in front of me and sat down.

The redhead glanced at me before he continued to stare straight ahead. After a few minutes had passed he finally spoke up.

"Why are you here?"

"I couldn't sleep." I answered with a soft smile.

"I didn't mean that." he retorted in a cold tone. I glanced at him and realized what he meant. With a silent sight I dropped my head on my knees.

"I'm currently living in Konoha. Here I became a ninja and so I ended up in this exam.", I said and glanced at him but he still didn't look at me, instead his eyes became even harder. When he finally faced me I could see the reproach in his eyes.

"Why did you leave Suna? Why aren't dead like they all said?"

My eyes widened and I held my breath as I realized the hurt in his voice and eyes. I averted my eyes not able to look him in the face, tears stinging in my eyes. His eyes narrowed as I still didn't give him an answer.

"So you won't tell me." He stated coldly and moved to stand up but I stopped him by grabbing his hand.

"Wait Gaara. What I said to you that time, I didn't mean it and I regretted it the moment I said it but I didn't have the courage to apologize to you. I'm really sorry for all that had happened and I wished I could change it and-"

The words just kept flowing out and tears began slowly making their way down my face, but I got interrupted by Gaara who now forcefully freed his hand from my grasp. With wide eyes I stared at him as he searched for something in a pocked of his clothes. Then he places whatever he was looking for in front of me and stood.

"You better stay away from me from now on." he said with a cold voice not letting me see his face and then vanished. For an unknown time I stared blankly at the spot where he still stood moments ago and without any sound I bawled my eyes out. He didn't accept my apology, he left me, he didn't forgive me, he hated me, he didn't want to see me ever again.

Slowly my eyes wandered to what Gaara had given me before he left. As I recognised it my started to cry even harder. I took the little wooden box and hugged it to my chest as the streams of tears were flowing down like two waterfalls. Grandmother's music box, he had repaired it with his sand! But how should I interpret this? Did he actually wait for me to apologize to him? Or did he just want to repay a debt? I wiped my running nose and stood up. Maybe I still had a chance for him to forgive me. With this thought in mind I sneaked back into my room and crawled under the blanket, hugging the music box close to me as I drifted into sleep.

I still have a chance...

Okay, this got even more depressing than I first intended it to be... Well, hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

This chapter is longer than most of the others, hope this makes up for my delay. Oh and since this update is one week late, it means that the next chapter will be up next week, probably! But this shouldn't be much a problem...

Why was the doc manager bitching just now? randomly writing whole sentences together -.- booh more unnecessary for me to do...

Well, tell me what you all thought, I'd like to hear your opinions! ^.^

Review please~~