Chapter 9: The Fall

Raph was waiting for me the next morning as I stepped out of the bathroom, drying my face with a small towel. His arms were promptly folded in front of him, his legs crossed as he kept himself leaned against the wall next to the door frame. I sighed heavily, knowing exactly what he was going to get at. It was one of the other big things bothering me about this whole situation..

I had promised Raph I would never hurt his brother. Now, with Donny here, that promise was all but a shattered piece of glass. I couldn't help trying to think it wasn't my fault he was hurting so much, but I knew I was most of the blame in the long run. It was petty of me to fall so easily for a man who only seemed to be my husband, and now I was paying for it. Of course, the apology I shared with his brother had posed as a solution for the meantime, but words can't permanently fix everything..

He snorted shortly through his nostrils, keeping his eyes fixed on me as I stopped, my damp heels squeaking on the hard floor, "So," he began, pushing himself forward to face his whole body towards me, his arms still folded tightly on his chest, "I've been wondering about something."

Draping the towel over my right shoulder, I placed my hands on my sides, preparing myself for an inevitable lecture, "And what would that be?" I cocked my head sarcastically, hinting that I already knew what he had coming for me.

"Look," He let out a long breath of air, trying to keep himself composed. He knew perfectly well what I was capable of from the past couple of weeks as I stayed with them, and was avoiding trouble in the best manor possible, "I'm just..disappointed."

He pushed his chest out, trying to stand tall and strong like any defending big brother should, "Raph, please, I thought we were over this. I don't need this right now, and I'm pretty sure you don't either. We've got enough going on right now."

"It's funny," he scoffed, "the only thing I've got going on right now is this. If you didn't want this problem, you should have thought twice before promising to keep him happy."

I looked to the side, trying not to be short with him. He was becoming arrogant, and it was pissing me off. I had been so happy last night, being with my husband as he reassured me everything was going to be fine, and now Raph was just a big reality smack in the face, blundering all over my good vibes, "You know that promise was genuine..You know I would have never hurt him, Raph, you know I wouldn't have.."

"What, if your real man hadn't come along to steal the show?" he leaned forward, then back again, rocking back and forth like the pretentious prick he was trying so hard to be.

"..I'm trying to make amends..alright? I'm trying my best.." I brought my eyes back to his face, trying not to get pissed off just by the look of his smug face, "If you had any idea how fucking worried I am right now, Raph..if you had any idea.. he just sits there, staring at his papers.. How do you think that makes me feel, knowing it's all because of me? How do you think I feel knowing that he is hurting so goddamn much because I broke his heart?"

Raph's face suddenly fell as he dropped his arms to his sides, his eyes moving just behind me. I stared at him for a moment, wondering why he wasn't retaliating with some egotistic remark. He looked back to me, moving his eyes nervously before nodding directionally.

I turned, swiftly, in a half circle, my pulse rising as my eyes met with Donny's, standing just a few feet behind me. He wore a weak smile on his face, his eyes seeming to drown themselves in a sadness that could sting anyone's heart.

My mouth finally peeled itself open, my lips feeling dry as I stuttered, trying to find the words to speak, "How…how long..?"

Donny's eyes fell to the floor, taking my heart with them, "…Just a moment…"

I brought my hands to my chest, gripping one hand softly around the other, "Donny, I…"

Slowly, he began to shake his head, his hands hanging by his sides, motionless as we stood in silence. Raising his eyes he took a step towards me, taking in a deep breath to compose himself. I knew he was trying to be strong, standing in front of something he knew he'd never have again, even if there was someone else out there for him. He'd always be plagued with the memories he had of me..holding me that night..the words we shared all too innocently…

"You don't have to feel so sorry for me…I'll…I'll be fine, eventually. I understand the controversy…of who's to blame, and I think it is in equal parts…but there's no single person to push the cost on. I should have known better. You should have known better. It's all really the same…" He sighed softly, his eyes glazing over with emotion, "When you feel things like this…for me…it makes it harder for me to even think about getting over our time together. So…please, don't feel so sorry for me…"

I could hear the anger behind his heartache, his melancholy, and it pierced me in a way I couldn't really understand. The whole time I had thought he had simply gained a heavier heart, but his dismay was greater than I had ever expected…and it was scaring me…

"The conversation we shared yesterday…it mended what was hurting at the moment in time…but I know there's always going to be something there…something that will always bring me back, and I'm just trying so hard to cope with the memories…because I know I'll never be able to forget them."

I found the composure in me to stand straight, letting my arms rest softly by my sides. I was a little disappointed that he'd be so rash with me, knowing I had no clue that my real husband would show up out of nowhere. He was explaining so much how it was no single person's fault, but at the same time, he almost seemed to gradually push the scale further and further my way. At this point, I felt as if there was a huge, vexatious finger in my face, looming over my awful mistakes so I'd never forget them, "I see... Well, then… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for caring. I'm sorry for wanting to make sure you're alright, that you don't hurt yourself, because I know all too well what it's like to have your heart played with and thrown away. And if you think that's what I've been doing to you, then shame on you. I never knew, Donny. I never knew this was going to happen. So shame on you for even telling me to stop caring about you."

I spun around, tears welling in my eyes as I walked quickly past Raph, brushing his shoulder to push him out of the way. I was done trying to deal with them, trying to make everything okay. I cared too much at this point, and I needed to stop. If they weren't going to treat me like their family anymore, I wouldn't treat them as mine.

My Donny stopped me as I approached the exit doors in the lair, pressing his hands against my shoulders. He gave me a worrisome look, noticing the tears glazing my eyes, "Hey, what just happened over there…?"

I shook my head, "It's not really worth expressing, not now. I'm just a little done with all of this drama going on around here."

"Drama?" He cocked his head, unaware of the tension between me and Raph ever since I had arrived.

"Donny," I took in a deep breath, trying not to be cross with him. I knew he was only worried, but I was too pissed off to accept help at this point, "I love you, I really do, I just need to be alone right now." I took one of his hands off of my shoulder and squeezed it gently before releasing it, the other falling to join it by his sides, "I'll see you later when I'm not so uptight about all of this..and, Donny, please don't go trying to pry information out of them. I'd rather you hear it from me than anyone else."

He nodded, placing a kiss on my forehead that almost made me smile, "I promise."

A light drizzle started to fall over the city as I climbed my way out of the man hole cover, letting it plop back down in its hole with a clank. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out a solution to this absolute mess I was in. Everything was so jumbled, turned around from how I thought it was going to be.. No one was coping the way I thought they would, but, rather, everything was just blowing up in my face… To make things even worse, the Donny from this dimension was even upset with me..something I wished I could have avoided at all costs. God damnit how I was so mad with myself..I wanted so much to just keep everyone happy, but I ended up making everything worse in the long run…what the hell was wrong with me..?

I pulled my long black hair into a bun before proceeding to the rooftops, keeping an eye out for slick spots I could lose my grip on. Looking out into the sea of buildings, hearing the bustle of the people, living their everyday lives, I felt a sort of sadness wash over me, like the rain falling on my skin. These people of Earth..they were so ignorant of how great they had it. They weren't attacked by enemies, invaded, thrown into multi-dimensional portals..nothing like that. I mean, sure, there were some things that went wrong on Earth, but, for the most part, they had it pretty great. Me..well..I had to run away from my home..I had to forget everything I ever was and start a new life on a planet I'd never even heard of until I landed there by accident..and now…everything I had ever come to love on this planet was slowly slipping away. The only thing keeping me on my feet at this point was Donny..my Donny..God..if only I could count the reasons why I'd never be able to leave him.

Placing my hands on my hips, I shook my head, trying to concentrate on ways to make myself feel better, not worse. In any case, I would usually go out for a run if I felt the need to let off steam, get away from things for a while, but it was getting colder as the day dwindled into a chilly evening, the rain feeling like tiny frozen drops over my silver skin.

I moved my hands from my hips to my shoulders, rubbing them with just enough friction to create some sense of warmth. Feeling a shiver slide down my spine as if a snake had gotten under my shirt, I turned, deciding it would be wise to grab a jacket before heading out. As much as I really needed to be away from everyone, I needed to make my way back into the lair. God knows the last thing I needed was a cold.

Approaching the rickety metal ladder on the side of the apartment building I had been standing on, I let out a long sigh. No matter how angry I was, or how frustrated I might get in the remaining days in this world, I really just wanted things to get better, and I hoped that I would come up with at least some sort of solution on my run. I still felt like something else was out there..just lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike at any moment. Even when things were going smoothly with all the guys, I felt almost as if there was something clinging to my shoulder, digging its claws in to give me a painful reminder that this world was not mine..

In a melancholy state, I placed my feet securely on the bars of the ladder. It never once crossed my mind that I'd never make it down that ladder, at least, not by myself. In a split second, I felt a stong hand grasp my right ankle in a hard grip, yanking it fiercely. I slipped, knocking my chin against the cold, wet metal before falling backwards. I let out a scream, flailing as something caught me upside down. I heard them growl as I tried hard to turn myself away from the wall, wanting to get a look at my attacker. Suddenly, another approached from the ground as the first called for help, and I cursed under my breath, recognizing the uniform he was wearing.

Of course it was, of course it fucking was the Foot. Who else in the goddamn city would it be?

"Put me the hell down you assholes!" I bent my knee, kicking the one who held me bluntly in the face.

He let out a grunt, grabbing my foot, twisting it hard. I shouted in pain as I felt my ankle pop, the bone snapping out of place, "Goddamnit put me down!"

My breathing was heavy as he began to chuckle, looking down at the other through his masked face.

Just before he released me, letting my body fall forty feet onto solid concrete, I simply remember mumbling out, "Well, fuck."