So, guys, here we go again...

well, today I tried really hard...I hope you will like it and let me know... :-)))), I love to read your comments or thoughts... :-))))

you make my day...

have a nice reading and also a nice day :-)))))

and I don´t own anything from Twilight :-)))))

ch 56

Ellen just opened her eyes and couldn´t believe. First she thought she has overheard. She watched him and he didn´t look as joking. He was watching her face trying to guess any kind of emotion, but somehow she had none at the moment. With everything he said, she was completely unprepared for something like this. It was just so sudden. She couldn´t look him in the eyes. She had no idea what to tell him. Ellen went to sit down on the bed and watched her hands silently. She needed to be away from him. At least for a moment.

She couldn´t believe it. How could he do it? First he proposes and then he tells her something like this? She even couldn´t imagine the meaning of his origin. She never believed in anything like this. She believed the sci-fi world to be just the matter of fictions or movies. And she personally wasn´t a fan of anything like this. Therefore it shocked her completely. She could see he didn´t follow her and stayed speechless close to the window looking at her and then outside at the beautiful garden close to the room balcony.

Ellen couldn´t believe it. Why was her life such a mess? At one moment she feels that her life has become happy suddenly and in another second, one news changes everything. She had no idea of what she would do. This really got her deep. She has never felt so scared…. Scared about the future.

Carlisle knew that at the moment when he said the one word, that something has gone wrong. Terribly wrong. He hoped that she would try to accept it. But when he saw the look in Ellen´s eyes, he wanted to run away from everyone. He felt this was one of the hardest moments in his existence. Ellen seemed everything but understanding. And he felt incredibly sad in his chest. He would cry if he´d been able to. But he didn´t want her to know anything so he tried to hide it. He watched his love who was deep in her thoughts saying nothing, looking nowhere but at her hands, hoping to hear something from her. Before he told her, he hoped she would get over it and they would continue in their relationship without fakes and lies. Now the longer she remained silent, the more he was sure that everything just got so complicated. Truly, he was worried about their future. Suddenly he knew that this is gonna be a very bit complication and was not certain if they are able to overcome this obstacle. Really, he wasn´t very optimistic about the result. When he realised that he might be lonely again, he couldn´t truly bear it. Therefore he moved the look to the window for not having to cry because of her reaction.

Ellen was still deep in her thoughts. The feeling of surprise and shock was replaced by the fear. He said the whole family were vampires. Vampire. What does it mean? She always thought that vampires eat human blood and sleep during the day. She reminded of the horror movies. She never watched them because she was afraid of them. Then she became angry at herself. Why didn´t she notice anything. She has known the Cullens for many months. She´s been living with them for so long. Then another voice told her: „ Ellen, you know that if it weren´t for the Cullens, especially Carlisle, you would still be living with an abusing husband….who could rape you every time he wanted. He hit you many times…..the Cullens gave you the shelter, helped you more than enough…. They changed your whole life…..to good…you should be thankful for everything…they don´t deserve anything bad….and this behavior….it´s not fair…. Especially not to Carlisle….He behaves to you better than anyone else ever did…." She knew that there was something right about that and she was certain. The Cullens did so much for her. But if they are vampires, how can she be sure they won´t do any harm to her and mainly to Patricia.

At the same moment, she felt so scared about her daughter. She is alone in the house full of vampires who might desire for her blood. Well, they have to. All vampires love blood. How can she be sure that they won´t hurt her. She felt really desperately worried about her daughter. She almost forgot about Carlisle at the same moment. Then she reminded that Patricia was already with the Cullen children so many times alone. She loves them and she hoped nobody would do her anything. Just the first shock made her rethink Patricia´s safety.

Then she looked up and saw Carlisle looking out of the window. His face was so hard to read, she has never seen his face like this. Somehow she knew that her reaction hurt him. Yes, it had to….. it was recognisable and somehow she knew. She had no idea why…but she did…

Ellen was watching him and couldn´t help it. Despite the reveal of his secret and in fact he told her that he was a monster. A monster from horror movies. Something she had never thought to be true. She didn´t believe in these things. And she said yes to the proposal of a vampire. This was all so ridiculous to be true. She still couldn´t get used to the idea. But through it all, when she watched him, she felt the love for him in her heart. The desperate look he had in his face melted her heart a bit. She still hasn´t said a word but couldn´t keep her eyes from him either.

She reminded their first meeting. He came with Bella and Edward to see the children show, he was so caring when Derek hit her. Then she reminded how he was holding her during the night when going to the trip to the amusement park. Afterwards she could see the vision of them both together when she ran away from her husband. His huggs, the offer to stay in his house, his constant support. Then she saw the living together and their small first kisses and attraction among them. And this was followed by their first Christmas spent together. This all hit her like crazy suddenly and she saw everything like in a movie. She had no idea why but suddenly she felt the heart beating like crazy realising the only fact.

She loves him. That´s the one thing she is certain of.

Ellen knew nothing more but this simple feeling. Yes, not matter the secret he told her, no matter what consequences it would have for her. She knew she would always love him. And if they really break up, then she will have hard time to deal with it. Carlisle always treated her like nobody in her life. That was true. She felt like a princess when she was with him. He did everything possible to make her happy and to help her. When they weren´t together, he always found time for her, he supported her and just his presence calmed her. He was also willing to become the father of the unborn child no matter what. If she had decided to go to abortion, he would have stood at her no matter what. Then why was she so bad in supporting him and standing on his side now?... She was asking herself…..

Well, the only reason she could think of was the fact, that he told her something she wasn´t able to cope. She had no idea of what she will do. He was still silent and she didn´t know how to handle this. She desired for his presence. She desired for his calm huggs telling her it´s gonna be alright. But she knew it wouldn´t be. He is a vampire and he will stay one. This cannot change. That´s a fact. The only question that comes to her mind is if she is able to deal with the fact that she could live in a relationship with somebody not human. She wasn´t too sure at the moment. She knew it would take some time to over think this all. She is not able to make this decision at the moment. It´s all so fresh and she has no idea of what she will do.

She has only two options. To leave or to stay. There is nothing else possible. The first possibility brings a huge issue about Patricia. Patty loves Carlisle and he loves her. She had no doubts about that. How shall she explain that they will have to leave her new daddy and a bunch of loving siblings. She didn´t know the reply to this. The other option, staying, brings many new difficulties in her life. Will she be able to live in a house with so many vampires? Can she trust them after this all?

She felt so sad and looked around in the beautiful room. She was sitting on the edge of the beautiful bed. This was supposed to be their amazing night full of love and passion and instead? They are almost at the break up line. He hasn´t said a word since then either but from his face she could read the hurt she caused him by her silent denial of his origin. She believed that it wasn´t his fault of becoming a vampire but hoped that he would explain her details.

She shrugged, what shall she do? For the first time, she was really undecided. HEr mind was telling her that the longer she waits, the more she hurts him. She had no idea of where this thought came from but she believed it. She felt she had to act.

She asked herself few questions. She loves him, that´s a fact. True….. She could see that he loves her too. Why would he propose then if he didn´t love her? Fact… She doesn´t want to move out yet…..FACT….. she didn´t dare to guess of how everything would turn out, but she didn´t want to leave yet. Not without a reason.

She suddenly stood up and headed to him. He knew about her hesitation. She was nervous when she was moving her fingers and connecting the palms. She was doing this every time she was nervous. He was just worried that she would wish to leave his life completely. After the information he told her, it wouldn´t be surprising. But the only thing he was certain of. His life would be so miserable again….if he lost her. She was his true mate. The break up would be much harder than the divorce if his mate really left. He was not sure how he would deal with it. It would be probably one of the hardest experience.

He didn´t count the minutes but he realised that Ellen shrugged and after few minutes she moved closer to him. She was slowly walking when she stopped in front of him. He couldn´t look her deep in the eyes. He knew he would start sobbing at the same moment. So he decided to wait.

She was slowly walking thinking of what she would say. She didn´t know. She was not sure what she should do. The only thing she knew. She needs him. She really needs to be held in his arms telling her that everything would be alright again. She missed this desperately. She moved just in front of him and she caressed his cheek: „ Carlisle…" Slowly he moved the head to her and looked down. He had not the courage to look in her eyes. She repeated his name again: „ Carlisle…" She touched gently his cold cheek again and moved the hand on in his blond hair. Then she whispered: „ Please, look at me….." His eyes met hers in a second and she could see the saddest look full of desperate and sorrow: „ Ellie…I…." He wanted to continue but his voice betrayed him and he sobbed once. She knew that this wasn´t easy for him either. After a moment of looking into each other´s eyes he asked: „ Ellie?...what´s going to be with us?..."

He expected her answer with the sincere look in her eyes. She watched him when he spoke the question. She took his hands in hers: „ I don´t know….truly…I don´t know…" She watched his reaction but he didn´t let her see anything. But inside she knew that she must have hurt him. She wanted to feel him close, so she decided to make the first step. She didn´t knew where it would lead but she knew that she must do something. She didn´t want the beautiful honey eyes to be like that. She let his hands and hugged him around the neck: „ I don´t know what will happen but I know I love you…..it is the only thing I am certain about….." In the following second she could feel two strong arms hugging her gently around the waist. When her tears began falling down, she could heard the amazing tender whispering voice attempting to calm her.

like it? please tell me :-)))) I will be very thankful...