This is just more proof of my nerd cred. From a discussion with Gouken 2009 about nothing warped striking his mind... and somehow this came out... Yeah, I'm weird...

Kakashi looked over his new genin squad curiously as they sat on the roof, soaking up the sunshine. To say they were not what he expected upon reading their files would be something of an understatement.

Last he checked, Sasuke didn't wear a skin tight golden spandex shirt, with matte black pants and shoulder pads, though the Uchiha fan emble over his left chest was reassuring. The Haruno girl looked more professional in her rough hewn reddish brown robes, though he wasn't so certain about that foot long metal tube hanging at her hip, or that single braided rat-tail. However, it was Naruto's orange spandex shirt and odd white pants, but what stuck out were the white shoulder caps, and the golden star surrounded by his infamous spiral. All three had their forehead protectors over their necks, while Naruto fiddled with the brim of his wide brimmed white hat.

"Maa..." Kakashi began lazily while looking over the group before him. "Let us begin with introductions..."

"Excuse me master," Sakura began in a very controlled tone, "but we know each other from years at the academy. It might be best for you to give an example of what you are looking for from us..."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as an urge to tell the truth was quickly squashed by years of experience. Instead, he gave them what he felt they needed to know. "My name is Hatake Kakashi... and that's all I feel like saying..."

In the absence of the expected protests, Kakashi sighed and indicated Sakura. "You're up pinkie..."

Sakura slowly stood up and bowed slightly to Kakashi. "My name is Padawan Haruno Sakura, I am eager to prove myself ready to be a Jedi knight, and I hope under your tutelage that I may live up to the expectations of the late Jedi Master Yoda, who trained me in the way of the force. I fear to say that I have a dark side presence called Kiyohime inside me... I am struggling to keep her in check, lest I join the ranks of the Sith. Further, I am well versed in the use of my lightsaber, in particular the Soresu form, though I lack combat experience. My dislikes are the dark side of the force, the Sith, and not honoring the vow I made to Master Yoda."

Kakashi wasn't certain, but he was pretty sure he'd have to beat the crazy out of her. Next he pointed to the brooding Uchiha, who stood up straight and tall, almost like he was cast out of iron instead of flesh. "Ensign Uchiha Sasuke, reporting sir. I am a first year ensign in Starfleet's security branch, assigned to this planet's defense forces. I dislike Romulans, Cardassians, my older brother Itachi, and any who threaten the peace of Starfleet. My goal is to kill my brother, rebuild the Uchiha clan and become a starship captain. I am well trained in the use of the phaser, and my clan's jutsu, lacking only combat experience."

Kakashi felt something cringe inside from the speech the boy just made, and sighed figuring he'd waited long enough to get the last one over with. Pointing to the blonde he was surprised when instead of shouting out his answer he merely took off his hat and remained sitting. "I'm Space Ranger Naruto Uzumaki. My likes are ramen, training, my cybersteed Kon, and shooting my service blaster. I dislike the Crown Empire, Slaverlords, psychocrystals, and The Queen of the Crown. My series 5 implant allows me to move at heightened speeds, grants me razor sharp claws, heals my body, and a few other things they didn't quite figure out before I was sent here. Unlike the other two, I have seen multiple instances of combat, but still do not feel ready to lead my own squad. Oh... and do not worry about my passenger, he cannot access me unless I am in series 5 too long."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at his squad, not knowing if they were lost in a few different LARP things like Gai usually did, or were really batshit insane. Instead he decided it might be best to just wrap this up and get a move on. "Right... Tomorrow we'll have a test to ensure that you're ready to be gennin, see you at training grounds seven, at ten... oh and I suggest skipping breakfast, you'll only throw it up."

With that he disappeared, reappearing on another rooftop not far away to observe his students. Sasuke merely tapped his symbol, and said something like "One to beam up," if Kakashi's lip reading skills hadn't faded too much. An instant later he was gone in a shimmer of light.

Then Naruto stood up and let out a shrill whistle. A strange reddish orange metal horse landed on the rooftop, and the blinking of the lights where it's eyes were indicated that it was doing something, Sakura provided the answer when he read her lips to say "It talked?" Naruto slung himself up onto the saddle, and slipped an odd weapon Kakashi hadn't noticed from the small of his back into a holster on the saddle. Then he offered Sakura a hand, to which she sighed and nodded, letting herself be pulled up behind the blonde self-proclaimed Galaxy Ranger. The two of them rode off towards where Kakashi knew her house to be.

Waiting a few minutes more he rubbed his temples and decided to go talk with the Hokage. These three needed mental help, and he was a ninja, not a doctor damn it!

Kakashi paused and wondered why he had the sudden urge to call the Hokage Jim. Instead he decided to go see if he couldn't get the kids put away for psychiatric evaluation, and see about finding a nice quiet place to retire to... like Suna after punching Gaara in the face. That sounded nice right about now.