Chapter 61
Ellen was still sitting with her head in the hands. This was really a mistake. A huge one. She had no idea of how they would make it alright.
She did something very wrong. She hurt Carlisle´s family. A thing that won´t be forgiven for long. At least she thought so.
After few minutes Bella stood up and helped Ellen: "Elly, come, stand up, have a nice bath and go to bed. This will be for long. You cannot do anything now….."
She protested: "I want to talk to them…I wanna apologise…."
Bella shrugged: "Truly, I have no idea when they come home…I believe we have to wait untill tomorrow…"
Ellen nodded: "Ok, I am going to my room…good night, Bella, and thanks…"
Bella smiled back: "No need to thank me, Ellen…"
Ellen disappeared in her room. She couldn´t do anything but go to her bed and began weeping. She didn´t want to create a wall between her and the whole family including Carlisle. She felt truly sorry, she didn´t mean it like that.
But from what Bella said, this would be hard to repair. She already hurt them. Well, almost all of them.
At least Bella remained by her side. She felt sorry that Carlisle was against her too. It would be easier to face problems with him on her side. She missed him terribly. She remembered their common moments recently and felt like crying again.
He will hate her now, she was worried he would want to leave. Bella said they already disappeared when she was still human. What if they do it again?
She was sobbing in her pillow. She fell asleep exhausted from crying. When she woke up during the night, she headed to the kitchen to drink some water, she hoped she would hear some noises, but only Bella was sitting on the sofa reading a book. She only winked, smiled and devoted back to her book.
Ellen drank the water and wanted to return to her bed. She was washing the glass when the front door suddenly opened and she could hear the steps.
Bella closed the book and disappeared in her bedroom. Ellen could just hear the noise, she didn´t dare to come to look.
She didn´t want to meet them now. But she knew it´s inevitable. She cannot prevent that. Better to face it sooner than later.
She came out of the kitchen door. She expected everyone coming back but to her surprise, she saw just Carlisle and Edward coming back. They watched too when she spoke: "Can we talk?"
Carlisle checked the watch: "Elly, do you think it´s the right time to talk? Go to bed please….."
Ellen protested: "Could you at least give me five single minutes? You can even start counting…"
Edward added: "I will leave you two alone, good night El….."
She stopped him: "Wait,…..this is about you too…..what I want to say…"
Carlisle was watching her with doubts: "Elly, you should really go to bed, you need to be fit for the baby…"
She frowned: "Carlisle, please, be so dear and don´t start with the baby thing….."
He watched her reaction and shrugged. She took it as a sign to begin: "I….I wanted to apologise, I sincerely didn´t mean it like that….. it slipped…..I know it was really unfair…..but…concerning the fact what you are and what the brain connects….. I know you don´t feed on human blood…but….. I don´t know, I was so shocked, so worried about Patricia…."
Carlisle spoke silently: "Why didn´t you throw me too?"
Ellen watched him: "Because I am sure that you won´t hurt us….I trust you…with everything I have….. I know it may sound stupid, but I cannot explain my behavior…."
She turned towards Edward: "Bella told me about her birthday party…..I really had no idea about something like that. I didn´t think this way…. I was just trying to protect Patricia, she is everything to me…. I know you wouldn´t do it intentionally…"
She could see small sign of smile in Edward´s face: "El, you don´t have to explain to me…..I accepted Bella´s explanation…..and I agree that mothers také their children security very seriously…I know it had nothing to do with us….I am not angry with you, truly I never was…I kind of understand you…."
She smiled and hugged him: "Thanks,Edward…." He hugged her around the waist too and then replied: "I am going to Bella….good night you two….." He disappeared in few seconds.
Carlisle was standing in the corridor watching how Ellen dealt with Edward. She was really so good at dealing with people.
When he disappeared, she came closer to him and said silently: " I believe, my time is up…five minutes is over…"
He nodded and she asked: "Will you give me five more, please?..."
He didn´t say a word just watched her: "Carlisle , after your today´s reaction, I really have no idea if you still want me here….you didn´t give any positive sign…..and the look in your eyes you gave me in the afternoon…..I wish I rather had not seen….. I am really desperately sorry for what happened. I really didn´t mean it….I cannot justify …what I said, but I am willing to accept my responsibility and if you decide not to forgive me, I won´t be a burden to you. I already was enough. …..But believe me, I never ever wanted to hurt you or anyone of your family….I could never do that…. I thought you already know me…."
She sobbed the last few sentences and turned around. She could hear no reaction. She counted the seconds and he still hasn´t replied. She sobbed again: "Well, no answer is also the answer….good night, Carlisle….."
She turned around and headed to the stairs. Before she could step the first stair,he was standing in front of her: "Ellen….."
He called her with her full name and she knew there was something wrong. He rarely used this. She knew he must have been incredibly angry. She looked up and could see the surprised look: "Are you planning to leave me? Do you really mean it?"
She looked down: "I can´t live with the fact that you hate me because I hurt your family. And I wouldn´t forgive myself if any of your kids felt guilty or hurt because of what I said…in that case I would rather disappear silently than to cause any tensions in your relationships….I would never forgive myself if something like this happened….."
He watched her with tender look: "Elly….. I can´t prevent you from leaving…..I don´t know what made you think I would want you to go away from the house…you promised me to stay and to marry me..." He whispered the last sentence.
She just shrugged: "I don´t know….I wanted to make things easier for you…."
He slowly gave his hands carefully about her waist and whispered: "Elly, the only thing you´ll achieve if you leave…you will put me in incredible misery. I don´t know how I would be able to live without you in my life. You´re my soul mate, my other half, my light in the tunnell…..and I can´t imagine spending a day without you… I feel I couldn´t exist without you…"
She listened to every single word he said and couldn´t hold on the tears. She was close to crying when they came home but now after all he said, she couldn´t stop them anymore. She could feel him hugging her tenderly and moving her head closer to his chest. She loved to be hold like that. She felt safe again but couldn´t say anything. She whispered: "I am really so sorry, Carlisle…I didn´t want to…I didn´t mean….." She couldn´t finish because of the tears. He caressed her cheek:
"Don´t worry sweeatheart….we´ll figure out a way…it´s gonna to be ok again….I promise…."
She was leaning her head on his shoulder and breathing his scent she loved. Carlisle was holding her and she was so relieved. She believed that now it would be better. He forgave her and she hoped this incident would soon be forgotten. He was caressing her and whispered: "Come, I will take you to bed…." She nodded and wanted to walk upstairs.
In a second she was in his arms and he was carrying her: "I have to remind how it used to be allowed to carry you anywhere…"
She just sadly smiled and he opened the door in her bedroom and laid her on the bed. He put the blanket over her and wanted to kiss her good night. He wanted to leave and this surprised her.
She asked: "Are you leaving?" He could see the hurt in her eyes. He removed the shoes and laid next to her. He hugged her and she whispered: "I really missed you when you disappeared…I thought you decided to leave…Bella was telling me about your family departure….."
He stopped her and kissed her forehead: "Ellie, I would never do the same mistake again. I should have never allowed Edward to persuade us…... Leaving won´t solve a thing. It´s just coward running away….instead of staying and facing problems. Yes, it is maybe faster, but the consequences are incredibly bad. And as I said, I cannot imagine my life without you….it would be a nightmare…. Because now when I know you….I wouldn´t be able to function knowing you´re somewhere alone just with kids. I would become crazy missing you….."
She kissed him on the cheek: "I am so glad you think this way….I was really worried that..…"
He laid the finger on her mouth: "Elly, don´t say that….I would never want you to leave…...I love you…."
When she heard this, she moved her lips to him.
She wanted to show him how much she is in love with him. She only hoped he could see and feel it too.