Ichigo's PoV
I didn't even think about what I was doing. My feet just moved on their own; chasing after Rime. All the way to Black Ship, without stopping. All I knew was that I had to make sure she was okay. It was like second nature to me.
Ahead of me, I saw her entering the café. I quickly went to follow, but stopped when I heard Johji speak. "Are you okay?"
I stepped back. It was clear he was asking Rime. As I peeked through the window, I saw why anyone would ask. Her face was red from crying, tears still streaming down her face. Her usual bored expression replaced with one of sadness She looked...broken.
She didn't say anything, just continued to cry. Johji signed, and placed an arm around her shoulder, guiding her to a seat. She just sat there, completely motionless.
"Rime...what happened?"He tried again, but she just shook her, clearly not wanting to talk. Seeing giving up, he sat down next to her, silent while she continued to sob.
My heart hurt. I didn't know why she was crying, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was sad. And I couldn't fix it. I thought about going inside, comforting her. I wanted so badly to hug her; to tell her it was okay. But I didn't. I just stood there, all the while hating myself for not crossing the doorway.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Johji spoke up. "Is it about what happened three mouths ago?" He asked quietly. She still didn't respond. Taking this as a yes, he continued. "It wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"
Her head whipped up, her face now equal parts misery and anger. "It doesn't matter if it wan't my fault."
"Yes, it does. They wouldn't want to see you like this. I don't want to see you like this. You need to move on; live your life. It's a miracle you still have one."
"How am I supposed to live without them?" She shouted, her voice waving "They're gone. And I'm still here. I shouldn't be here! I don't deserve to be here! I don't want to be here!" She half-shouted, half-cried.
It my heart hurt earlier, it was now shattered. I felt my own eyes start to tear up. I couldn't bear to stand there anymore, to see her like that. I realized now she didn't just look broken; she was broken. I turned around and ran as fast as I could, trying to get the image of her crying out of my head.
Back at the bakery, her words wouldn't leave me alone. I shouldn't be here! I don't deserve to be here! I don't want to be here! Every time I recalled them in my head, I would fell like I'd been stabbed in the heart. I'd known she wasn't happy, but to know she didn't wan to be alive was unbearable. I didn't even know why, but didn't focus on the reason. It didn't matter who "they" were, all mattered was Rime. Rime, and the fact she wanted to be dead.
I was so focused on her, that I didn't even hear the chime signaling someone had entered the bakery. I didn't even notice until someone was directly behind me calling my name.
I turned around to see Johji looking at me with an unreadable expression. We stood there for a minute, neither of us speaking.
"I saw you when you ran away," he said, answering my unspoken question.
I remained silent. I was still in a state of stock, and couldn't from a reply.
He signed, for the second time that hour, and began to explain. "Three mouths ago, Rime was in a car accident with her family. They...didn't make it. She did."
I's figured that, but it still hurt to hear. I remembered her parents, they were really good people. "So,she's..." I felt lump in my throat. I couldn't bring myself to say "suicidal". It spoken out loud, it would make it all too real.
Luckily, Johji understood what I couldn't say. "Maybe she wouldn't be, if..." He paused and shot me a worried glance. "...if her boyfriend hadn't been in the car as well."
"I-I see..." I bit my lip and looked away. I should have known. She was an amazing person;it would only make sense for her to date other people who thought the same as I. And yet... some part of me had been thinking she would wait for me as I did for her. I felt stupid now, as well as hurt from finding out that she didn't wan to here, to live.
Why couldn't she see that I wanted her here? That I loved her? If she knew, would just change anything?
"That's why I told you that she just needed a friend right now. She'll get better, she ju-"
"Did she love him?" I asked suddenly, finally looking up at Johji.
He was taken aback, and stayed silent for a moment before opening his month, "Yeah. I think she did."
I nodded and looked down once more. Taking this as signal that I wanted to be left alone, Johji and it was getting late and went back to the café.
I signed and sat down on a chair, with my head in my hands. How could I not notice? I was in love with her, and never even suspected anything. It hurt so much.
And yet, not as much as knowing that Johji was right. All I could do was be her friend. But if she would let me, I would gladly choose that option. Just to be around her and hopefully help her, would make me happy. And et, I know that even though I'll be just her friend, I'll always love her. And I hope she'll know that, too