As always, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and is following this story.

It feels a bit silly to keep apologizing, but after a relatively work-free period, now I just have to squeeze in writing when I have a bit of free time. I'm not abandoning this story – I do have a plan, I know where I'm going with it and how to get there – but I'll just have to take my time. Hopefully, you'll all bear with me. Without you, there's no point in writing at all.

So… please stick around and let me have some feedback now and again. It means the world to me.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The camp was buzzing with activity. Both you and Ajax had come back from the last series of raids, the booty had been distributed among the individual armies of the various Achaean kings, and now it was all about storing what could be stored, fencing in the cattle and the sheep, and preserving the perishable food to make sure it lasted the winter. This time, since you hadn't been the only one leading the foraging raids, the soldiers' ovation had been shared between you and Ajax, which meant that, for once, Agamemnon's potential fear and suspicion weren't directed solely at you. To me, that was reassuring.

You hadn't taken me seriously when I had tried to broach the matter with you, so I hadn't talked about it again, but I had confided my worries to Iphis and she not only agreed with me, but told me that Patroclus himself had expressed the same concern a couple of times before. Apparently, you hadn't taken him any more seriously than me…

Anyway, now the matter was moot, at least for the time being. When the springtime raids came, I would raise the issue again, perhaps try to join forces with Patroclus to make you listen.

Right now, the motto was preparing for the winter. Your entire camp looked quite a lot like a big village after harvest. There was everything, from livestock to grain to fruit to grapes. There was food being stored in bags, pots, baskets, food being salted, smoked, dried, preserved in vinegar. There was even wine being made.

I had been organizing and supervising all the work that was supposed to be done by women. That meant that I had hardly had any time to sleep in the last few days and, Hera grant me patience, you kept frowning and muttering that I was supposed to be going to bed when you did, not staying up late to watch over the preparation of jams. I had just about given up on trying to argue any kind of sense into you; instead I just stuck to rolling my eyes and doing my best to ignore your nagging.

Now, I would be lying if I didn't say the whole thing was more than a little disturbing. I knew where that food came from. I knew a lot of common folk in the Troad would be struggling through the winter on the brink of starvation so that the Achaean army – and even us, the ones who were living with the army – could eat. But I tried not to think about it too much. It was pointless. It was the way of war and everyone knew it.

I guess I was beginning to realize what you meant when you said there were things you preferred to avoid thinking about. I didn't know exactly what haunted you the most – you surely had much worse things in your mind than a few villages left with barely enough to survive – but I had clearly just come face to face with one of the things that could haunt me.

No less disturbing than the awareness that the food we were preserving had been taken by force from the people who had grown it, was the impact the very familiarity of the tasks we were performing had on the women. The village-at-harvest atmosphere that had taken over the camp seemed to stir painful memories of happier times and trigger in most of us all sorts of thoughts of what might have been, and there was a general feeling of loss and nostalgia that somehow permeated everything.

Even Iphis didn't seem her usual level-headed, good-natured self. There was a mist of sadness about her.

I picked up a bowl of fresh fruit that was waiting to go in the pot to be cooked for jam and walked over to where she was supervising the treading of the grapes for wine.

I called out to her.

"Iphis! Let's have a bite to eat, shall we? Let everybody take a quick break."

Iphis pushed wisps of hair back from her sweaty forehead and sat down on a wooden bench with me. I put the bowl of fruit between us.

"How's the wine going?", I asked. "I had no idea you knew how to make it."

"My father used to own vineyards", she explained, a wistful look in her eyes. "The picking and treading of the grapes always ended in a big feast. The slaves would be given wine and meat for their supper. They'd set a big table outside and eat and drink together, then they'd sing and dance into the night around the bonfires. We didn't eat with them, my family and me, but then we'd be there for the singing and dancing. Actually, I'd always try to sneak out to sit at their table and hear their stories and jokes, but my mother never let me. She said it wasn't only to keep the proper distance, it was also to give them some space for themselves. At the time, I didn't quite believe her, but now I'm beginning to realize she was probably right. If we'd be sitting with them, they wouldn't feel so at ease."

"Achilles said there would be a feast when we're done preserving everything."

Iphis smiled thinly:

"Yes, he does that every year. Except we're among the slaves now, aren't we?"

I stared at her. "Meaning we'll all eat together out here and he'll join us afterward?"

Iphis shrugged. "First he performs the Demeter rites, which is rather odd since there's no sowing and no harvest done here, but I guess it's always important to thank the proper godheads for the bounty we get. Then two tables are set outside, one for the men and one for the women, and Achilles invites the male captives of noble breed, the ones he hasn't sold overseas yet, to eat with him in the hut." She looked up at me. "But I suppose this year will be different because of you. He won't want you out with the common slaves. We'll probably eat inside."

There was a pause, then I asked:

"Before you used to just stay out here with the rest? Patroclus did nothing to avoid that?"

"There was nothing he could do. Until you got here, Achilles never had a woman to do the honours as hostess to other women. So it was only men at his table." The topic was clearly upsetting to her, so I decided to drop it.

"This is weird, isn't it?", I mused. "Everything seems so normal in a way, but then it's so the very opposite of normal…"

Iphis nodded. "Yes. For me, it's the hardest time of the year. It's when I feel…" She paused again.

"When you feel…?", I probed. But she remained silent.

I reached out and put my arm around her shoulders. "What is it, sister? Talk to me. You're not the kind to bottle things up inside you. You know you can trust me."

She squeezed my hand. "And I do. It's just… Oh, Briseis, what's going to become of us? I mean, I try to keep optimistic and I can't deny I'm glad to have met Patroclus. But… why couldn't I have met him in different circumstances? Why couldn't he just have come over for business, or some kind of travel, or something? Why couldn't he just have been a guest of my father's and then met me and…" Her voice trailed of.

"And asked for your hand properly", I finished for her. "Why did it all have to happen within a war, why did we have to land in such a precarious situation. Why can't we have any kind of control over our lives. Any kind of safety…"

"Yes", Iphis whispered in a strangled voice. I was shocked to see there were tears trickling down her cheeks.

"Honey, you should have talked to me earlier. You shouldn't have kept all that to yourself", I said, wiping her tears with a clean corner of my apron. "I'm sorry, I was so selfish. I should have realized how much you were aching."

She shook her head. "There was nothing for you to realize. Usually I don't feel this way. I mean, it's not that I'm not aware of my circumstances, but I trust Patroclus, I believe he loves me and… well, I'm hopeful things may turn out right in the end. But this time of the year… I don't know. It's like you said: it all seems so normal, but then it's so very much the opposite of normal, that we can't help having a sort of acute sense of how wrong the whole thing is. How different everything should be."

I lowered my head. "I have to admit I've been trying to imagine this is a bit like being in Achilles' house in Phtia, and…" I stopped, too ashamed to go on.

Iphis smiled, genuinely now. "And how you would be performing your role as his wife, running his household. I guess you've actually been trying to show him how competent you are." Her smile deepened. "Don't be ashamed, it's pretty normal. It's what you hope for, after all. And justifiably so, I might add. He'll have to be a total idiot not to hold on to you with all his might. He won't find a better woman. As a matter of fact, I suspect he knows that. He's terribly possessive of you, isn't he?"

I rolled my eyes: "Almost unbearably so. You know, when I first got together with him, I feared mostly his temper and his pride. I mean, there's a reason why they're so infamous…"

I made a face and Iphis laughed out loud, which was exactly what I intended. I went on:

"Well, believe it or not, I found I could handle the temper easily enough."

"I don't need to believe it", Iphis interrupted. "I can see it for myself. But you got it easier than everyone else. He doesn't seem so prone to anger when you're around. Actually, you earned quite a bit of appreciation from the men because of that. They say you're Achilles' tranquilizer."

"Really? Achilles' tranquilizer? I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or insulted." We both laughed, then I said, more seriously: "The pride bit is trickier, though. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him in order not to trigger his susceptibility…"

"You and everyone else", Iphis agreed. "But I've been watching you and you deal pretty well with that too."

I nodded. "Yes, I guess I learned how to quickly enough. No, what I find hardest are the little everyday things, the kind of stuff I had never really thought about. Like that possessiveness you were talking about; sometimes he can really drive me crazy with that. And also his assumption that he's supposed to be my first priority come what may. I mean, between you and me, he is my first priority, but there are other people I care about and things I want to do. I can't just drop everything for him whenever the whim strikes him. I like to spend time with you – no, I need to spend time with you – and I'm not about to just cut off a conversation with you to go running when he calls."

Iphis reached out to hug me: "Same here. I need you too. You were saying you were selfish… well, so am I. I'm really glad to have you here."

I hugged her back. After a short pause, I went on:

"And all this recent complaining because I'm staying up late to get the work done, instead of going to sleep at the same time as he does."

Iphis raised an ironical eyebrow: "I don't think his complaining is really about 'going to sleep'."

I threw a grape at her. "Behave yourself, you dirty minded creature! He doesn't really have a lot to complain about." I shook my head in mock despair. "As I was saying, that really drives me crazy. It's great to feel loved and needed, but sometimes he can be pretty smothering."

"Yes, I suppose he would be. But you always managed to stand your ground with him remarkably well. Better than most people, as a matter of fact." She smiled crookedly: "Actually, sometimes I get a feeling that you're deliberately challenging him."

I felt my cheeks becoming hot. "Is it that obvious?"

Iphis shook her head. "No, it's not obvious to anyone who doesn't know the two of you as well as Patroclus and I do. If it were, I would have mentioned it before, to advise you against it. It's never wise to challenge Achilles in a way that may put his pride on the line. But you know that even better than me, of course. No, I noticed precisely because I found it funny, the way you managed to be so subtle about it, while making it so clear to him. The look of shocked surprise on his face when you do it… It's basically your way to let him know you have a will of your own, isn't it?"

I nodded, still a bit embarrassed and thinking to myself I'd have to be careful to save those little provocations for when we were alone.

"But that's also the beauty of it, you know", I said. "I do have a will of my own and he does accept that as a matter of course. When we see the women of most of the other kings…"

Iphis shuddered. "Broken and crushed", she agreed. "Shadows of formerly free women reduced to true slavery, raped and beaten, terrified of their masters, cowering at the first shout."

"Nothing but misery and hopelessness", I said. "A horrible thing to see."

"I often think that what those men really enjoy is the power they get to exercise over the poor girls that wind up in their hands", Iphis said, looking pensive. "Not all of them do it, of course. Some are decent and considerate, but for many of them, perhaps even most of them… yes, it's more about power than anything else."

We fell silent for a while, each of us lost in her own haunting visions of the destroyed women we had met.

"I know we can count ourselves fortunate, under the circumstances", Iphis whispered at last. "Yet, sometimes I can't help wishing things had been different."

"So do I", I admitted. "I mean, knowing that things could be a lot worse doesn't imply ignoring the fact that they could also be a lot better."

Iphis nodded, then squeezed my hand tightly:

"Let's hope they do become better one day."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A.N.: In case anyone's wondering: about the rites of Demeter and high-born male captives eating at Achilles' table, I'm really extrapolating on one single line of Iliad, book 21, where Homer has Lycaon, son of Priam, say that, after having been caught by Achilles and before being sent to Lemnos to be sold into slavery, he "first tasted the seeds of Demeter" at Achilles' table.