DM: Alright guys... all of you are sitting in a classroom, diligently paying attention to the teacher, except for... *rolls dice* Naruto, you're out of the class, what are you doing?
Hinata: Date with me.
Naruto: *holds up a bag of cinnamon rolls* Got dessert right here.
DM: *sighs* Hinata, you're not with him, you're in class. Stay in character you two...
Naruto and Hinata: *halfway through a roll each* Aww...
DM: Now, Naruto, you are outside of the class the others are in, what are you doing?
Naruto: Bathroom break.
DM: You couldn't have gone five minutes ago before we started?
Naruto: No, that's where I am... Believe it!
DM: . . . Fine... you're pissing off the top of the Hokage monument... and two Chuunins catch you.
Naruto: I run off... No-one's ever caught me!
DM: We just started this campaign, and you're running away from two mid-level Chuunins before even making it to level one? Fine, roll it... *rolls his dice and gets some nice rolls*
Tenten: In Konoha, Mid-level Chuunin means 'Slightly better crap than the low-level chuunin.'
Naruto: *rolls his own dice, and gets some very nice rolls*
DM: You manage to stay just ahead of the chuunins, but have not lost them yet.
Naruto: How normal.
DM: You want to go back to class to try and lose them?
Naruto: Well, I have Hinata and Tenten to meet...
DM: You don't know Tenten yet, and are only an acquantince of Hinata's
Tenten/Hinata: Aww... *Both of them snuggling fox plushies with toy ramen bowls*
Naruto: Give me five minutes and a bakery for Hinata.
DM: After the game you guys can go out to eat... let's just get this part over with, kay?
Hinata: *hands Naruto a piece of paper* Best bakery in Konohagakure that isn't fox-unfriendly.
DM: . . . Hinata that's your address...
Sasuke: Since when did you own a bakery?
Hinata: It's a home away from Neji. I have my art studio there.
DM: How did you manage to roll rookie of the year again Sasuke?
Hinata: *looks at his dice* His dice are weighted...
DM: I checked that already, he used mine for that roll.
Anko: His character sheet is doctored.
DM: All of your sheets are...
Anko: His values are way too high, and have changed fourteen times in fourteen games.
DM: Says the woman that has snakes shooting out her sleeves...
Sasuke: [Adjusting his power stat after sneaking a look at Naruto's sheet] How true.
DM: *smacks Sasuke upside the head* Stop that
Sasuke: But he's more powerful than me!
DM: We talked about this, he's had a pisspoor life growing up, after his father stuffed a demon in his belly.
Sasuke: Who's the strongest fighter in Konoha?
Tenten: Maito Gai.
DM: The Hokage
Sasuke: It's not me... I'm meant to be the best...
DM: You're still a newbie ninja... you can train to be stronger...
Ino: Sasuke, Train?!?
DM: Yes... you know... level up your character...
Sakura: According to most Sharingan users, you earn EXP by staring at everyone else doing the work.
Sasuke: LIES!
DM: Do I have to bring in the snake loving pedophile that Anko so lovingly made for you?
Hinata: I didn't know Micheal Jackson had a... Oh wait, he's chimps.
DM: That's it... guess what, it's time for a test! All under level ones. Roll for henge.
[Everyone rolls their dice]
Hinata: I have a spare cinnamon roll.
DM: Everyone but Sasuke and Naruto pass... Sasuke *rolls* You turn into a pasty version of the target Iruka. Naruto... *rolls again* you... *looks at the chart* Turn into a hot, naked busom blonde girl...
[Hinata, Ino, Sakura and Tenten all look very interested]
DM: *coughs* Why the hell did I put that on there? Oh yeah... was drunk... Iruka... please roll for reaction.
Iruka: Boobies... *drools*
DM: Right... he shoots away in a spray of nasel blood... anyone else want a roll?
Hinata: *hands out cinnamon rolls*
DM: . . . not that type of roll... who else wants a personalize reaction?
*Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten put their hands up*
DM: Fine, please roll for the reaction
*They roll, and get 'perverted' as the reaction, avoiding 'Akane Tendo' completely*
Naruto: Did you make these rolls yourself, Hinata? *She nods woodenly, before almost passing out*
DM: *looks at the chart* Sakura, Ino, you two are about to charge in and forcefully make out with the now still female Naruto... Hinata, you're holding them back.
*All three of them roll, Hinata with help from Tenten*
DM: What are you rolling for?
Tenten: They're rolling for if Hinata manages to hold them back.
DM: I said they get held back, and we're moving on.
*Tenten then hands the DM a piece of paper, and makes a roll, giving a unhappy look at the roll*
DM: No Tenten, you don't magically appear out of nowhere... and for that bad of a roll, you are teamed with Gai and Lee
Tenten: *whispers* That's the magnitude of the explosion in the bomb under Sasuke's seat.
DM: I know... I rolled for mine earlier... *louder* Okay kiddoes, SPOT CHECK!
Kiba: *holds up a Dalmatian*
Hinata: 190.
DM: . . . just roll your *censored* twenty-sided dies already
[They do so, Sasuke being given normal dice]
DM: Everyone but Sasuke you notice a huge ass pile of explosive tags under Sasuke's seat... Sasuke you notice a spot on the ceiling.
Iruka: GET DOWN!
DM: *watches as several people start dancing*
Iruka: DUCK AND COVER!
Naruto: *holds up Iruka's rubber ducky, and Kakashi's security blanket*
Iruka: BOMB!
Hinata: *Holds up a manga marked 'Sasuke!' covered in explosive tags*
Tenten: *holds up the movie Blank Check*
Iruka: SASUKE'S GOING TO BLOW.. UP!
Naruto: There's a guy named Up in this game?
Sasuke: Dobe, I think he means... Shit! There's a bomb on my chair!
DM: *passes out popcorn* Good job Sasuke... *rolls for damage* You take 30 points of damage... [leaves him at -9]
[The girls, and Naruto, give the gesture for 'Natch']
DM: Call a stablization roll, and roll it
Sasuke: 10 [rolls it]
DM: . . . *sighs* He makes it... moving on...
Tenten: That was a waste of good explosive tags... He survived.
Haku: I hope he fails the later roll.
DM: *shrugs* He'll die in the next battle... and any more, I'd have to give splash damage...
Naruto: Hope you survive yours.
DM: *whistles* Oi, no out of game knowledge you two...
Naruto: Aww...
Haku: [goes back to doing the ice for the drinks]
Sasuke: When I recover, I'll find out who set that bomb!
DM: *grumbles as he rolls his dice several times* Alright folks... it's time for your gennin tests
[For a change, no jokes]
DM: Everyone but Naruto... you pass... Naruto, after school you are approached by Mizuki-sensei about an extra credit exam to steal a top secret scroll from the Hokage, and learn a jutsu off it in order to become gennin
Naruto: I'll approach the Hokage to double-check about the exam.
DM: The Hokage knows nothing about this exam, but you feel he might be hiding something. As though the test itself is a secret.
Naruto: I let him know what I'm doing, and where Mizuki will be meeting me. Wouldn't want ANBU after me for doing a exam.
DM: The Hokage nods and gives you the scroll, saying he'd be sending out ninjas to keep up appearances.
Naruto: OK, I go to the meeting point and attempt to use the scroll.
DM: The first jutsu on the scroll is Kage Bunshin no Jutsu... a better version of your worst academy skill
Naruto: I'll roll for learning it. [Rolls]
DM: *jawdrops at a natural 20* You little bugger...
Hinata and Tenten *make a hug-and-kiss sandwich out of Naruto*
Sasuke: How do you manage that?
Sakura: He has something called luck... look into it
Sasuke: I meant having girls that will be that committed to him.
Sakura: A personality helps...
Haku: A personality, A good heart, Aspirations to help people beyond normal capabilities, A very diplomatic way of looking at things... He looks cute...
Sasuke: Let's... Just... Continue...
DM: Okay... Naruto, Iruka finds you before you can study the next jutsu
Naruto: Hi, Iruka!
Iruka: Did you steal the scroll Naruto?
Naruto: Nope. I asked the Hokage for it!
Iruka: . . . Miyuki's about to backstab me again, isn't he?
[A few of the other players keep their mouths shut]
DM: Yeah... he is.
Iruka: [Rolls for the expected damage]
DM: Take three points of damage
Sakura: And see a medic in the morning.
DM: Naruto, what do you do?
Naruto: See how many bushins I can create, and deal with Mizuki... Believe it!
DM: Stop saying believe it and I'll give you an awesome jutsu
Hinata: And all your himes will give you a kiss.
Naruto: You win.
DM: Congrats Naruto... you get to learn the rasengan from Jiraiya next time he's in town
Naruto: Wonderful... *sarcastically*
DM: But before that, you invent harem no jutsu... and learn tornado no jutsu
Naruto: I know harem no jutsu... *Makes a few handsigns, and Shion appears in his lap*
DM: I mean in character...
Sasuke: And harem no jutsu is not 'summon a girl from a different country'.
DM: The other girls are already here...
Shion: I think he means 'summon a girl to your lap from any distance'.
Naruto: Darn... What's that jutsu then?
DM: Harem jutsu turns you into as many copies of any naked females your character can think of
*Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Haku and Hinata look very interested*
Naruto: What's the jutsu name for 'summon a girl to your lap'?
DM: Naruto no Jutsu
Ino; Sasuke no Jutsu is 'Betray people with no repercussions'.
DM: Can I dish out the XP or do we keep bashing Sasuke?
Sasuke: XP
Shion: Bashing Sasgay!
DM: Naruto, you get 3000 xp for beating a chuunin ten times your difficulty rating... Iruka, you get 1000 cause he's only three times your level...
Haku then walks past and drops some ice cubes down Sasuke's back as she starts the queue giving Naruto a kiss for no longer saying 'Believe It!'
DM: Oh and Naruto, you've now made it to Gennin level 2... congrats
Sasuke: *screams out* Hey! Not funny!
DM: You didn't get into combat yet
Sasuke: I meant the ice cubes down my back!
DM: What ice cubes?
Haku: *whistles innocently*
DM: Right, good game everyone, next week I'll pass out your teams
Sasuke: *getting up, furious* I am so going to love making your life hell, Uzumaki... And your little himes too...
DM: Sasuke... I'd like to talk with you about the cheating you're trying to pull with this game... *pulls out a mouse and a spoon*
Naruto and Hinata head to her bakery, while Ino and Sakura head to their apartment, and the others toss up over filming Sasuke getting educated or going home.