Hello, everyone! As usual, I don't own anything, I'm just a fan writing some fiction. Please enjoy!

38- Matters of Life and Death

"Why would Azarel set you free? Has the whole battle been called off?" Pestis asked.

"N-no." Ren shook her head. "I wasn't set free. I escaped…"

"Escaped? From Azarel?" Zelgadis gasped. "H-how?"

"The demon… entrusted me into the care of two assistants… and that boy, Zara, set me free…"

"Zara let you escape?" Gourry spluttered. His whole body stiffened as he realized the repercussions of this. "Azarel's going to kill him!"

"Did Zara escape with you?" Shizuri asked, handing the woman a blanket.

"No. He said that Azarel still had possession of his belongings, and they were too important to leave behind."

"When did this happen?" Pestis questioned.

"It was in the early hours of this morning. Azarel was away making some sort of preparations for this evening. I don't know what's going to happen when he returns…"

"And you've been stumbling around in the snow since then?" Lyos demanded.

"The other boy- the blond one- lent me his coat." Ren tugged on the collar of the green coat that she was wearing. "It's a size too small for me, but has kept me warm nonetheless."

"So Enrique is still in cahoots with Zara. That's good to hear." Zelgadis murmured. "Maybe together they'll stand a chance against Azarel."

"So long as Azarel doesn't separate them and fight them one on one. What'll happen then?" Even Zelgadis' logic couldn't calm Gourry.

Amelia interrupted the conversation, presenting a cup on a saucer, steam pouring from the surface of the beverage.

"Give the tea a moment to cool down before you try to drink it. I wanted to get it to you as fast as I could- I'm sorry if it's too hot."

"Amelia," Gourry grabbed hold of her arm and tugged her away. "Zara's in trouble. We have to go find him now. We can't wait any longer."

"Y-you can't leave just yet! Not now!" Amelia gasped, pulling her wrist away from his grip.

"Why not?" Zelgadis put his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her, but she pulled away from him too, moving back toward the kitchen.

"Excuse me for a few minutes, will you?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Amelia disappeared behind the door and closed it behind her. A coughing spasm from Miss Hayze drew their attention away and back to the woman they'd rescued.

"Are you okay?" Gourry put one hand on her shoulder in concern, allowing his worry about her to take his mind off some of his other worries.

"I'm fi-fine." she coughed. "The cold hasn't done wonders for this condition of mine, I'm afraid."

"Condition? Like, you're sick?" Lyos drew closer. "It can't be. I'm sure you just caught a common cold or something."

Miss Hayze smiled at him. "I'm glad for your optimism, Lyos, but I'm afraid it can't be helped. I was going to tell you about my illness sooner or later, but we never got to speak about it. It's one that's become increasingly common in mine workers and researchers who have spent much of their lives underground. Something about the air gets into the lungs, and before they know what has happened, their own body is choking them to death. That is the cause of my current suffering."

Lyos paled. "B-but there's a cure, right? That's why you had all those specialized healers at your house- they're working to cure your illness. We have to get you back to them right away, or-"

"It doesn't matter." Miss Hayze placed a hand on his arm to calm him. "There is no cure, Lyos. Because the disease is created by my own body, healing spells only hasten its progression. The healers I have contracted are there to treat the symptoms rather than the underlying cause, to assuage my pain in my final days."

At her last two words, the blood completely drained from Lyos' face. "…what?"

Everyone else in the room was completely silent. No one moved or made an attempt to speak. They were waiting on Lyos to figure out just what his reaction would be.

"M-Milady… you can't die." Lyos shook his head. "Not now. Not when we've finally just met again."

"Everyone dies, Lyos. It can't be helped." Miss Hayze kept a smile on her face. "When I met Luke, the assassin, I knew that it was not my day to die. I struggled against the seemingly inevitable because it was not what fate had ordained. But this- this is different. This is an affliction caused by my own actions. I am dying because I followed my dreams and did what I love. There is no better way to die, knowing you died doing what made you happy."

"There is no good way to die!" Lyos protested.

"I didn't say it was good. I said there was no way better."

"How long do you have left?" Shizuri spoke up.

"It depends. The disease sometimes takes unpredictable leaps or regressions. If I'm very lucky, I may live for another year. If I am not, I may be dead within a month or two."

"That's impossible!" Lyos yelled. "I'm sure that there's something we can do!"

"Lyos, please, don't get so worked up-"

"You're telling me? You're the one who's dying!"

"I know. That's why I can tell you."

There was a sudden silence. Miss Hayze's words had caught them all off-guard. Lyos stood for a few seconds, trying hard not to tremble.

"I have accepted that there are factors beyond my control that are now governing the forces of life and death within me. I understand that I cannot prolong my life against the inevitable. But I am not lying down and dying- in fact, now is when I am able to truly live. Don't you get it? Humans spend their whole lives stepping cautiously, worrying about how they're going to get along tomorrow. But I have no tomorrow to worry about. I can exist freely, revelling in the now because the now is all I have."

More silence followed. Lyos backed away slowly, shaking his head over and over.

"Excuse me," Amelia broke in, entering the room from the kitchen with a hesitant frown. "I, uh, and sorry to interrupt, but there's something important that you-"

"What?! What's so much more important than this?" Lyos snapped. "Is someone dying?"

"N-no…" Amelia was caught off-guard by the severity of his voice. Zelgadis met her panicked gaze, and a sudden rush of information seemed to pass between them in that moment.

"I think" Zelgadis began gravely, "it's just the opposite."

CRASH

The impact probably did more damage to the coffee table than it did to Zara, but since neither one fell apart, it was hard to tell. The boy bit his lip and fought back tears, forcing himself to bravely stand back up on his feet. Azarel had physically thrown him, but figuratively he was still standing, and he wanted it to stay that way.

"Who told you that you could just do whatever you felt like? You think you're special?" Azarel yelled, grabbing the collar of Zara's shirt again. The boy braced himself for being thrown against something else, but Azarel wasn't ready to let go yet. "Answer me!"

"That woman was innocent." Zara answered. "She did nothing wrong. There was no point in keeping her here."

"Don't you get the concept of a hostage situation? She was supposed to be innocent! That's the point!" Azarel snapped, violently shaking Zara back and forth.

"Ke-e-pi-i-ng ho-o-sta-ge-es is-s wro-o-ng-g." Zara yelled back, shutting his eyes to keep from getting sick.

Azarel abruptly stopped, standing perfectly still. "You think we're doing all of this because it's right? Get your head out of the clouds! This is war. We're reclaiming the victory that the Mazoku were robbed of 1000 years ago. We will capture and kill all that we need to for the purposes of rescuing the Demon Lord."

Zara narrowed his eyes. "You're crazy."

CRASH

Zara hit the bookshelf with a thud, knocking several books off the shelves. He fell to the floor, blood dripping from his nose where Azarel had struck it.

"Listen, Zara. You're a perceptive little brat- almost too much so. I don't care whether or not you stay my ally. In fact, I'd love for us to part ways. But you've got to realize that you've cut all ties with your previous life by working with me. Those people won't ever take you back. You're on your own from here on out."

Zara shakily pulled himself to his knees.

"That's not true. They're my family."

"Family is a lie." Azarel stated firmly. "I should know."

"What do you know about family?"

"More than you. Family only exists to place people into servitude. Family members forever have you in their clutches. They can control you while you remain helpless to pursue your own path in life. And just when you need their help most," Azarel bent down to stare at Zara eye-to-eye. "they. will. betray. you."

Zara was quiet for a few moment. He glanced down at the spatters of blood dripping onto his shirt and wiped his nose with his sleeve.

"My family loves me." he declared obstinately.

"Love is foolish. It's only worth anything when it turns to hatred." Azarel sneered. "All of those humans won't give a damn about you anymore. Who else is there who supposedly loves you? Hmm?"

Zara sniffled and looked down at the floor as he thought about it. Come to think of it, who else loved him besides his human family? Besides Lina and Gourry and Amelia and Zelgadis… who was there?

"Enrique loves me."

A haughty smile spread across Azarel's lips as though the answer had been expected.

"Oh, Zara. If only that were true."

Zara's gaze shot up from the floor. "What do you mean?"

"Enrique is my pawn. He's my subordinate. He follows my rules and does everything for my sake. He was kind to you because you were my ally. His friendship was conditional- on the condition that you stayed loyal to me. If you leave this place, he will only think of you as his enemy."

The realization of Azarel's words hit Zara hard. "…I can't leave…" he murmured. "…I-I can't…" The boy pulled himself shakily to his feet and staggered toward Azarel. "You're making me choose between doing the right thing and staying by the side of someone I love?"

"The choice isn't difficult. His 'love' for you was never genuine, so what's the point?" Azarel shrugged. "Either way, you're condemning yourself to death- it's just a decision between moral and physical. Take your pick: die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain."

Zara stared into Azarel's eyes for several long seconds, making it almost a battle of wills between the two. He finally turned around and sighed.

"Where is my stuff?"

"I'm sorry?"

"My belongings- my bag with everything in it. Where is that?"

"I have it." Azarel took a few strides toward a cabinet and pulled a key out of one pocket, unlocking the door and retrieving Zara's bag for him. Azarel tossed it across the room to the boy, and he caught it and immediately began rummaging through it. There weren't many contents, so it was easy to figure out what was missing.

"Where's my bird?"

"I'm sorry- what?"

"My bird. The wood carving. Where is it?"

"Right. Sorry." Azarel threw the tiny wooden block through the air. Zara caught it, but knew before he even got his hands on it that there was something wrong.

"What did you do to it? Where are the wings?" All that remained was the body of the bird, the outstretched wings roughly removed, as though they'd been carelessly broken off.

"They just kind of broke. It was sometime while you were working with us, I guess." Azarel replied. It was clearly a lie, Zara could see right through that. But there was a symbolism behind it that Azarel wanted to imply.

"Then it's your fault." Zara accused.

Azarel offered up both hands earnestly. "I didn't touch it." Another lie.

For a few minutes, neither one spoke. Zara examined what remained of the bird, turning it over and over in his fingers until all the light had drained from his eyes and he tossed the carving into his bag without a second glance. He had no ability left to care.

Azarel saw him preparing to leave, and called his name out one last time. "Zara! Catch!"

Zara wasn't paying enough attention to catch it, however, and the bag Azarel had tossed hit him on the shoulder and fell to the floor. Curiously, Zara placed his own belongings down in order to pick up this one. It was the bag that Azarel had let Zara and Enrique use earlier- the one that held just about everything except for cake.

"Take whatever you like with you. As long as you're still in this house, you're still under my rules." Azarel stated. "That's one of the perks of being on my expedition. What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine."

Zara looked mutely up toward Azarel, but the Mazoku had already left the room- whether Azarel had walked out or teleported away, he didn't know.

"Are you sure it's not another false alarm?" Shizuri voiced the question that everyone wanted to ask, but was too afraid of Lina to venture.

"Ask Amelia." Lina hissed through gritted teeth, and the princess took over answering any questions while the sorceress clutched the back of her chair, making a clear effort to take deep, slow breaths. Whether it was to distract herself from the pain or the prevent herself from getting angry at the others wasn't clear.

Zelgadis stood next to the stove with a hand on his forehead, muttering to himself fervently. "I knew this would happen, I knew it, I knew it…"

Gourry hovered around Lina like a prudent but curious moth around a flame, careful not to get too close or to let anyone else get too close. Eventually, Lina got fed up with his hovering and reached out to grab his hand and drag him closer to her. "You're treating me like you're trying to avoid setting off a bomb. Touching me isn't going to cause the baby to come any faster."

Gourry said nothing, just responding with a sound of acknowledgement that slightly resembled a whimper. Shizuri and Pestis were still buzzing around Amelia with questions, while Lyos had stayed in the next room, electing not to leave Miss Hayze's side. He'd firmly stated that he didn't want anything to do with any babies.

"Can't you do something?" Pestis was pleading. Amelia was assuring him that she was going to do something- she was going to deliver the baby- but that wasn't at all what he meant. "This is a really inopportune time. Isn't there, like, a snooze button or something?"

"Hah!" Lina loudly protested. "Sure, that's a great idea. I'll just tell the baby that it's a bad time, and to try again later."

Pestis smiled obliviously. "Oh. See? That fixes everything."

Zelgadis finally came out of his stupor enough to offer a dry comment. "Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?"

The professor's smile didn't waver. "On the contrary, I speak fluent sarcasm."

"Is this a joke to you?!" Gourry had grabbed ahold of Pestis' shoulder almost before he'd even finished his sentence. "We don't have time for nonsense right now. I should know. I generally supply the nonsense, don't forget."

"But what do we do?" Pestis replied. "What should I do? I don't know anything other than nonsense!"

"You were the one planning to lead us into battle. It's your fight, you said." Shizuri protested. "We're looking to you for guidance here."

"Me?" Pestis jumped. "I'm not fit to tell anyone what to do- especially when it deals with babies!"

"Zelgadis!" Shizuri called across the kitchen. "Say something! Don't just stand there!"

"What am I supposed to say?" Zelgadis demanded, his voice strained. "Like I'm supposed to have all the answers? You can't expect that from one person."

"Well, don't look at me!" Gourry exclaimed. "At this point, I'm past the ability to make rational decisions."

"Oh, cheer up!" Pestis tried to put a supportive arm around his shoulders, but wasn't tall enough, so he opted to put his arm around Gourry's waist instead, which Gourry did not appreciate. "Don't be so hard on yourself! You make great decisions!"

"This is no time for a pep talk! There are lives still in danger, don't forget!" Gourry barked.

Pestis whined. "Right before a battle is exactly the time for a pep talk!"

"Not when time is of the essence!" Shizuri argued.

Zelgadis positioned himself in between the three of them. "That's no time for an argument either!"

"You're yelling too." Gourry pointed out.

"I didn't yell. I was making a stern observation."

"Um, from my perspective," Pestis raised a hand. "you yelled your stern observation."

"Would you quit being so-"

"ENOUGH!"

Lina rose to her feet, trembling as she tried to keep her breathing deep and steady.

"You are all acting like children! Zelgadis is right in that this is no time for an argument, but not one of you is doing a thing to end it. You're bickering amongst yourselves when you need to be fighting a common enemy! Look at you- can you call yourselves heroes in the state that you're in now? I swear tha-" She cut off her sentence abruptly, doubling over in a sudden spasm of pain. Gourry moved to her side in a split second, but she'd already begun to straighten up and continue. "-I-I swear... that Amelia and I have things… all… all under control. You have to go fight your own battle out there so that we can fight our battle in here. I don't see how that's so hard to understand."

Everyone grew quiet and lowered their heads the way children do when they've been scolded. Lina was the one person among them who had a right to be panicked more than anyone else, and here she was lecturing them.

Zelgadis finally spoke up.

"We're sorry, Lina. You're right."

Lina smiled at him. She had to force it through gritted teeth, but her eyes showed that it was genuine.