Hello, everyone! As usual, I don't own anything, I'm just a fan writing some fiction. Thanks for reading, and please enjoy!

42- Regroup and Recover

Zelgadis vaguely remembered Amelia describing the limitations of a dicleary spell, similar in its usage and effectiveness to recovery, and worried that she might have given him some instructions that he had forgotten. But by a few minutes after the spell took full effect, Zara's face had taken on a normal colour, and his breathing had settled back into a soft, comforting rhythm. A few recovery spells took care of the bruising on his face and arms, and though Zelgadis checked him for other injury, it seemed as though he was perfectly fine. Enrique had been right; the only thing to worry about had been the poison.

Exhausted and overwhelmed, Zelgadis pulled the boy into a tight embrace, cradling him as though it were his own son that he'd managed to pull from a brush with death. It took Zara a while to come to, but when he began to stir, Zelgadis released him from the hug, letting him instead rest in his lap.

Zara woke slowly, staring at Zelgadis for a long time as though trying to figure out who he was. Zelgadis felt a momentary rush of panic at the thought that Zara might have suffered damage to his brain, but the boy spoke up and invalidated his fears.

"…Zelgadis?"

Hearing his name spoken was the greatest relief that Zelgadis could have imagined, and he hugged the boy again, trying to manage the rush of emotion that he was experiencing. "Oh, thank goodness." he breathed into Zara's hair. "I was so worried."

At the sound of his voice, Zara's shoulders began to heave and threw his arms around Zelgadis' waist, sobbing into his chest.

The tension of the moment melted away, and the two were left both clinging to one another in relief.

Zara was the first to speak again. "I love you, Zelgadis! Please, please don't hate me!"

The boy's response surprised Zelgadis, and he put a hand on Zara's shoulder. "I could never hate you. Why would you say that?"

Zara pulled himself out of the hug to stare up at Zelgadis. "Be-because I've done such horrible things. I've been working for bad guys and, and… oh, please! If Lina and Gourry disown me, will you take care of me? I don't wanna be alone!"

"…Zara…" Zelgadis gasped, shocked at the intensity of his words. "Lina and Gourry have been worried sick about you. They love you, and all they want is for you to come home."

Zara calmed down slightly, wiping his eyes. "R-really?"

"Yes, of course. What's the matter with you?"

"Azarel said," Zara began, and Zelgadis felt a rush of anger as he realized what was coming next. "that they'd never take me back. That I betrayed them, and so I'd never be able to come home. That they'd forgotten all about me…"

"Azarel is a liar, Zara. You can't trust anything she says. She was only trying to hurt you by saying what she knew would scare you the most."

"…so Azarel was lying about Lina and Gourry…" Zara murmured. "…but Enrique…"

"You have Enrique to thank for the fact that you're still alive. He betrayed Azarel so that he could save you."

"…he…" Zara began to delve into tears again, and for a moment Zelgadis was concerned, but he soon figured out that they were tears of relief.

"Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not loved because of something that you did. If you do bad things, that might make us sad, but it doesn't make us love you any less."

Zara attempted to dry his eyes for the second time in a few minutes- no telling how long that was going to last. "R-really? Even if I do something horrible that you hate?"

"Well, we'd rather you not do something horrible," Zelgadis began. "but just because we hate what you did doesn't mean that we hate you. It's possible to love a person without loving their actions."

"Huh?" Zara looked lost. Zelgadis couldn't help laughing- the boy looked so much like Gourry when he pulled that face.

"Of course- you think that, just because I love Amelia, I have to love all her crazy speeches? I don't know if I could handle that. But just because she annoys me sometimes doesn't change the fact that I adore her."

Zara giggled. "I like Amelia's speeches."

"See? That's good. At least someone does."

It appeared as though Zara had finally stopped crying for the time being, and he made himself comfortable, resting his head on Zelgadis' shoulder. "Where are Lina and Gourry?"

"Lina and Gourry are each fighting their own battle right now."

"Are they winning?"

"I couldn't tell you. I assume so."

"They're not fighting alone, are they?"

Zelgadis shook his head. "Both of them have friends fighting alongside them. They'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

"That's good." Zara yawned. "I'm glad."

The boy fell asleep leaning on Zelgadis' shoulder, and Zel was left in the quiet again to stare out at the dark forest. He felt a twinge of worry in the back of his mind about how the others were getting on in their fight against Azarel, but it was hard to combat the sense of relief that he felt from holding Zara in his arms, knowing the boy was alive and safe. It wasn't just the immediate relief- something deep within him felt as though it had been validated, reassured of his ability to help others. He knew that, if it came down to it, he could save someone's life. And he had.

"Hmm?" Zelgadis was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of the weather around him. It had changed somewhat, and the change was an easy one to observe, but not so much to believe.

"…it's… raining?"

"Professor!" Shizuri staggered forward to where Pestis was lying unconscious in Gourry's arms. "Is he okay?"

"I-I don't know." Gourry stammered in response. Shizuri took one of Pestis' wrists and checked for signs of life.

"He doesn't have a pulse…"

"I'm not going to. I'm a Mazoku, remember?"

At the sound of his voice, Shizuri jumped backwards and Gourry flinched, nearly dropping him. Pestis clung to the swordsman's arm, trying to steady himself on his feet.

"I'm sorry… my physical form isn't used to having so much power coursing through it. It can't take it all of a sudden."

"Are you going to be okay?" Gourry asked.

"Yes… I'll be fine eventually."

"Good."

The sound that followed was unexpected by everyone- except for Gourry, of course, who was the one to throw the punch. Pestis spiralled backwards, his cheek reddened and beginning to cover with a bruise. He toppled over, but Gourry grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him up to eye level.

"WHY did you LET her GO?!" he demanded.

Pestis forced a smile. "I, uh, see that you are angry with me. I must admit, you're progressing very well. I'd have pinned you as the type to spend longer in denial-"

"Give me an ANSWER." Gourry pinned Pestis against a nearby tree, and the professor flinched instinctively. Shizuri and Lyos ran to Gourry's side, pulling on his arms.

"Let go of him! Calm down!"

Gourry didn't move. "Why did you let her go?" he repeated coldly. "Tell me."

"I'm sorry. I had to let go." Pestis closed his eyes. "I love Azarel."

"And I love Zara." Gourry spat. "But that doesn't bring him back, does it?"

"It's not the same thing." Pestis choked. "And I-"

"If you DIDN'T have the guts to FINISH her off, you should've HANDED her over to ME!" Gourry yelled. "How MANY more children is she going to MURDER because YOU were a damn COWARD?!"

"Gourry, please!" Shizuri pulled at his arm, but he was still waiting for Pestis to speak, and didn't move.

"I lied." Pestis finally admitted. "I lied about Zara. He's not dead."

Everyone paused. Gourry's mouth opened as though he were going to say something, but he closed it again. It took him another few seconds and a few deep breaths to finally choke out a response.

"Why?"

"If Azarel attempted to kill Zara, it means that he knows too much. Should Azarel have realized that he wasn't dead, then the only option would be to find him again and finish the job. To keep Zara safe, I had to make sure that Azarel thought he was dead. The fact that we had Enrique with us meant that we had to know what had happened. And since Azarel is a Mazoku, who can sense emotions, if you all weren't genuinely grieving, then Azarel would've known right away that something was off. I had to lie."

Gourry looked away. "If you can fool your friends, you can fool your enemies…" he murmured softly.

"Exactly." Pestis nodded.

Gourry punched him again, this time letting him fall face-first on the ground, staining the snow a dark red. Lyos grabbed Gourry's arm and pulled him away as best he could.

"Calm down! He was only trying to help… apparently."

"Apparently…" Gourry whispered. He stood still for a long moment, and then fell to his knees, sobbing into his hands. Lyos jumped back, startled by the sudden change in demeanour. Shizuri was helping Pestis up, but he pulled away from her grip and rushed to Gourry's side.

"Gourry, are you…?"

"Don't ask." he sobbed in reply. "Just… just… don't. I don't know who to trust anymore."

"Gourry, please." Pestis insisted. "I know-"

"You don't know!" Lyos interrupted. "Give it a rest! You've already messed with his mind enough today!"

Pestis flinched and looked over at Shizuri, who merely gave him a helpless expression. Lyos was being harsher than he needed to, but he was right.

"I'm going to" Pestis announced, pulling himself to his feet and wiping off his cheek where it was slightly bloodied- or whatever passed for blood for Mazoku, anyway, "go find Enrique. Meanwhile, Zelgadis and Zara should be somewhere nearby. Find them and tell them what happened.

"Y-yes." Shizuri nodded and watched the professor go.

"I wonder what happened to Enrique." Lyos spoke up.

"I don't know." Shizuri replied. "But I guess we'll find out eventually."

The group was quiet for a moment. Gourry was struggling to compose himself while Shizuri and Lyos tried their best to give him space. Lyos stared at the ground, while Shizuri was more interested in the weather.

"Hey, Lyos," she spoke up.

"What is it?"

"It's raining…"

Pestis had forgotten how weak he was when he set out to find Enrique. The boy had wandered off farther than he'd originally though, and following the Mazoku's presence soon became a battle of endurance. The professor finally discovered him, curled up on a large rock at the base of a tree whose root system spread out far over the forest floor. He was crying openly, and in one hand he held a dagger- one of Azarel's favourite playtoys, Pestis recognized. But how did he get it? Azarel must have given it to him with the intention of- just like Zara. Pestis felt sick at the thought.

But Enrique only considered the dagger for a few seconds before angrily stabbing at one of the tree roots. The outside of the roots were covered in a thick layer of ice, and pieces of the ice flaked off as the blade slid away from the surface of the root. Enrique sighed sadly, dropping the dagger deep down into the maze of roots below him.

"I was going to tell you that it was dangerous to play with weapons, but I guess you figured that out already."

Enrique flinched at the sound of the professor's voice, and looked up at him with a surprising emotion- fear. "Please!" he shrank back, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. "Stay away from me! Don't get too close!"

"Enrique, I'm not going to hurt you." Pestis assured him, drawing closer.

"I know! I don't want to hurt you!"

Pestis laughed, and it seemed to take Enrique by surprise. "Hurt me? Don't be silly. What's the matter with you?"

"I'm just… so scared…" Enrique shied away even further. "Please leave me alone."

"What did Azarel say that scared you so badly?" Pestis moved closer and sat down next to the boy. "Was it that last comment? You know that didn't mean anythin-"

"He was right, though." Enrique sniffled. "And I'm terrified."

"Terrified of what?" Pestis inquired.

"I…" Enrique finally broke down, leaning on Pestis' arm and crying into his chest. "I was so scared… when you were holding him there at the end… because I… I wanted you to do it. I wanted you to kill him."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of." Pestis playfully tousled the boy's curly hair. "People do crazy things out of grief-"

"But that wasn't it!" Enrique sat up again. "It wasn't that I felt anything for Zara- I couldn't. The desire to see you kill Azarel… I don't know, it just sort of took over my mind. It wasn't for any reason, I just craved destruction. It was this… this… insatiable lust for death that took over my body to the point where I couldn't think of anything else."

Pestis stared for a moment, unable to find the words to respond.

"Sometimes, when I was with Zara, I would get overwhelmed by how much I cared for him. I felt so much affection that I was afraid I would burst with happiness. But this… this was different. It wasn't as though it was too much, it just consumed everything else. Nothing else existed except that horrible, horrible feeling… and yet, it felt so natural. Is this what being a Mazoku is all about?"

There was a pause.

"…yes, I'd say so." Pestis murmured. He couldn't think of any other response.

"What should I do?" Enrique begged. "I'm scared! I don't want this! Azarel said that you failed at being a Mazoku… could you- teach me how to fail too?"

"Huh?" Pestis blinked in surprise. It was certainly a question he'd never been asked before. "I'd never thought of it that way before, but I suppose… if you wanted…"

"Please, please, Lord Pathosmaster! You're all I have left!"

Pestis suddenly remembered that Enrique had run off before he could tell the truth to the others. "You know, I… I lied to you earlier. I'm so sorry. I had to protect Zara, and the best way to do that was to make Azarel think he was dead."

"Zara is… alive?" Enrique stammered.

"Yes. He's fine. Zelgadis is taking care of him."

The tears in Enrique's eyes finally burst into full sobbing. "Oh, thank goodness!" He clung to Pestis and sobbed into his chest. "It was so scary… but knowing Azarel… it was probably the best thing to do…"

Pestis let the boy cry for a few more minutes, waiting for him to move first. Enrique finally dried his eyes and moved away, throwing one glance down at where Azarel's dagger lay underneath the roots.

"So what's going to happen now that you let Azarel go?"

"I don't know." Pestis admitted. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead. All I could think about was the fact that I couldn't kill Azarel- I just couldn't."

"I'm glad you didn't. I don't know what would have happened to me if you had."

Pestis smiled. "It all worked out, didn't it?"

Enrique was shy to give a smile in response, but he finally worked up the courage. "Thank you. For being there for me and for saving me when I couldn't save myself."

Pestis took a deep breath and then continued in a more formal voice. "Well, since I am now a Mazoku lord, I'm going to need a general; a second-in-command. You don't know of anyone who could fill that position, do you?"

"N-no…" Enrique looked puzzled. Pestis was silent for a short time before nudging him.

"That means you." he whispered.

"O-oh… oh!" Enrique gasped. "M-me? A general?"

"Why not? You're very intelligent and you're brave to top it all off. Any Mazoku lord would be thrilled to have someone like you as a second-in-command. Will you shake on it?" The professor held out his hand.

Enrique timidly took his hand and shook it several times before Pestis grabbed him and pulled him into a big hug.

"Welcome aboard, Enrique! I look so forward to working with you!"

A genuine smile spread across the boy's face. "…me too…"