Solitude
Chapter 71
Ellen was watching Carlisle looking straightly in his papers. He seemed nervous, stressed out and she didn't believe work was the true reason. There must be more about it. He was a vampire, they don't get too stressed. She´s been living among them for so long, she could see their behavior. She decided to ask him. She waited for almost five minutes when he raised his eyebrow to check her and she began the conversation. "Carlisle? Can we talk?"
He smiled nervously, " Sure, what´s wrong sweetheart?"
She was surprised by the tone of his voice. He tried to pretend that everything was okay. And she wasn't very pleased about that. "I don't know, I have a feeling that something is wrong-terribly wrong-and it´s affecting us..."
He stopped everything and came closer to her. He kneed down in front of her-"Why do you think so? My love for you hasn't changed, you´re the most important person for me, you complete me."
Ellen shrugged," In the last weeks, I feel I am not the one who completes you." He watched the expression of her face and caressed her cheek. " Baby, why do you think so? Have I done anything to make you feel this way?"
Ellen looked down," I don't know. Maybe it´s not you, it's me., but I feel...kind of...makeweight in the family. Esme returned...and she kind of took back her former position in the family."
Carlisle watched her worried and hugged her, " Ellen, you know I love you, my children adore you, Patty is like a sister to them...and Esme..."
He moved his hand in the hair, " It´s ...complicated. I don't feel anything for her anymore, she is just my past, she left to find new happiness. There can never be anything between us anymore, I don´t trust her, besides..."
He tapped her nose and smiled one of those smiles Ellen adored. " You are my soul mate, I could never do anything to hurt you."
She nodded charmed by the sweet words he told her. In the second she believed him every word he expressed. His eyes looked to innocent and full of love.
He finished the papers and returned back to Ellen. She was looking out of the window thinking whether their lives would return to normal or not. She wanted to say yes, but Esme´s presence in the house and her constant scuttling around Carlisle, made Ellen feel sad and awkward.
A few days later, Ellen was sitting at school waiting for the right time to get Patty out of class. Her phone beeped and she picked up immediately, " Oh, Lucy, nice to hear you? How are you?" Lucy replied, "I hope you don't mind, Ellen, I was alone in the house, your father went to have a beer with few neighbours but I didn't feel like going. I wanted to talk to somebody, I am bothering you, just say."
Ellen interrupted her," No, not at all. Actually, I am glad that you called, it´s nice to talk to someone else than local people."
Lucy asked, " How are you?" Ellen shrugged, " Well, fine,...but..."
Lucy wondered, " But? Is anything wrong with Patty? Or with Carlisle?"
Ellen replied, "Patty is my amazing girl, she loves it here. She is so happy...". "Then what? Carlisle?"
Ellen became sad again, "I don't know, maybe it´s me, maybe I am doing something wrong." "How come?"
"Well, his ex moved back in. He...he lives with his children and she returned back to the family. She left them because of her lover. She claims it is just temporary. But somehow I don't believe that. I think she wants Carlisle back and some of his children think that too."
Lucy wondered, "Is there something that makes you think this?" Ellen described to Lucy everything that was in her mind and Lucy just confirmed her worries. "If everything is as you say, then I suppose your suspicions are right. And did you try to persuade Carlisle to kick her out of the house?"
Ellen denied, "No, I am not the right one to ask him, he should do it by himself, he is so kind, he cannot hurt anyone."
Lucy replied, " I understand. This is too complicated situation, you cannot do it, of course, " then she replied, " Look, Ellen, if anything...if you just...need a break...few days, weeks, months. You are welcome to come here. If you need just to change the place, I will be glad to see you and Patty and Timothy, he will be more than excited."
Ellen smiled sadly, "Lucy, thank you...you are a real support. I am so down because of this all."
Ellen went to Patricia´s classroom and was immediately hugged by her little daughter.
" Moom. I missed you so much."
Ellen kissed her, " So did I, Pattie, is there anything you would like to do?"
Patricia clapped. " Sure, we could go to the mall to have some ice cream, I know it´s cold but moooom, I want to have some yummy chocolate ice cream." Ellen was surprised by Patricia´s wish but actually why not? It´s not that bad idea, " Alright, we will go..."
They drove to the big mall and Patty almost ran to the cafeteria. Ellen followed her, happy to see Patricia in such a excited mood. Even for her it was very pleasant moment. It´s been so long they went together alone. Usually someone from the Cullens was with them. Yes, it was fine, but she missed their moments alone as it used to be in the past. They had a chocolate ice cream and then Patty wished for a piece of strawberry cake. Ellen didn't have the strength to deny her and ordered two pieces.
Patricia was shining like a sun and hugged Ellen around the neck. " Mom, you are the best. Thank you...it was soo goood..." She licked her lips, " My belly is full...I don't know if I am able to walk back to the car."
Ellen laughed, " You will have to young lady, you know I can't carry you." Patricia caressed Ellen´s belly, "You're gonna have the baby, right?"
Ellen smiled. She hoped Patty would be able to accept her new brother or sister. She already turned five, she will want to assist her with everything.
When they returned home, they were already expected. Alice, Jasper, Edward and Rose were sitting downstairs in the sofas, when Patricia ran inside hugging each of them. Edward asked, " Did you have nice time?"
Ellen grinned and Patricia explained everything:," Eddie, we had a huuuuge cake, a chocolate ice cream and it was sooo yummy..."
Alice commented, " I believe it must have been amazing. Next time we will all go together and buy something nice for our little sister. What do you think?"
Patricia laughed, " Yes. I agree." Ellen corrected her:," Okay, but now it´s time for dinner, shower and bed." Patricia nodded and followed Ellen in the dining room.
Alice suddenly looked to the far and Edward asked, " Alice?"
In the following second he sighed, " Oh.,we cannot let that happen..."
Alice replied, " No, we can't. What are we gonna do?"
Rosalie asked, " Could you please tell me what´s wrong?" When Edward replied, she caught her mouth, " Oh, shit!"
Jasper asked, " Do you have any idea what to do?" Alice decided:," We cannot allow Ellen to go there tonight." Everyone agreed.
Ellen prepared light dinner for her baby girl, showered her and then read her a story. She wanted to head to bed. She was already in her pajamas in bed. She tried to fall asleep but after an hour she woke up. This time she was feeling so weird. She couldn't say what´s wrong but she had to see Carlisle. He was again in hospital at night. He texted her during the day.
She missed him and wanted to reassure him about her love and devotion to him. She desperately needed to tell this to him. She had no idea why but she needed to do that. She knew he would be surprised if she arrived after midnight but she needed to do it. She carefully sneaked outside and the living room was empty.
She had no idea that they gave up after they realised that Ellen was asleep. Then everyone headed for a quick hunt. They weren't gone for more than thirty minutes. This time was exactly enough for Ellen to drive the car and head to the local hospital.
She was in somehow cheerful mood. She couldn't wait to hold her arms around Carlisle´s neck and kiss him passionately. She missed him for so long. It´s been few days since she spent some time with him. He has been too busy in the last few days. Now they have the whole rest of the night if he is not busy. And if he is, she can wait or take some nap. On the following morning, her students have the theatre show at school and so she won't be needed to teach.
She will only go with them to the theatre. So why not spend some nice moments with her lover. She opened the door of the hospital and greeted warmly the receptionist. She replied back and told her that Dr. Cullen should be in the office. The night is pretty calm. No big cases. That supported Ellen´s decision to see Carlisle even in these late night hours.
She followed straight in his office. She wanted to surprise him and so she silently opened them. What she saw there, took her breath completely. She left the door open and immediately ran out of the building. She has never dreamed about this, even in her worst dreams.