Sooo... I would like to greet you all again after many many months... I know it´s been too long, but I simply didn't feel fine and then had some writer´s block and also my pregnancy hormones... :-)))...

A/N I don´t own anything from Twilight :-)

Ch 72

Ellen ran out of the building as fast as she could. She couldn't even think clearly. Everything was so messed up now. Why didn't she have more courage to face them? She cannot return there now. She was sure that they both knew about her. They have perfect senses. Why is nobody following her then? She returned back to her car and just laid hands on the car roof. She couldn't keep the tears hidden. Carlisle turned around and realised what had happened. Esme came to talk to him that night. Or at least that was what she had claimed. She felt a complete stranger with the new inhabitants in his house. He tried to tell her that the impression is wrong. She was still part of the family despite the fact they weren't together anymore. He had no idea how it happened but he tried to calm her and hug her lightly but she ended with her lips on his. He was so shocked in the first second that he couldn't do anything. A few seconds later he pulled her away and almost threw her on the sofa with a very angry look. "Do not ever try this left, you wanted the divorce. I am so happy with Ellen…" She just noticed the flow of the hospital door and Carlisle realised the familiarity of the scent. "Oh my..…."

He came out of the room and watched the hospital door that has just closed down. It was clear to him that this shouldn't have happened. He had no idea of how this could be improved but he so desperately hoped that it could. He slowly walked outside and immediately recognised Ellen standing next to her car with the face hidden on her hands. He couldn't miss the tears. He walked slowly to her and carefully touched her shoulder. "Elly….I…" She turned to look at him. "Carlisle, I believe everything has just been said, I wish you all luck in the world. Be happy with Esme."

Carlisle watched her with horror in his golden eyes. "Elly, please. Let me explain… "

She stopped him, "Don't Elly me, please. Not anymore, I know what I saw, I think it speaks for itself."

He moved his hand nervously in his hair. "That, that was all Esme. Not me, I didn't want to kiss her, she just used the moment."

She stopped him again, "Carlisle, I think we should stop the theatrics, you wanted her back, she wanted you. You match together more than we ever did. I won´t be an obstacle anymore."

She opened the door of the car and drove away.

He was just stood there, even trying to stop her. It was useless. She didn't want an explanation. She thought she understood everything. But she was so terribly wrong. He felt suddenly so empty in his chest. The happy feeling he had when they were together was suddenly gone. Just emptiness appeared inside of him. He had no idea of how he would be able to survive.

Ellen arrived to the Cullen mansion and Edward was already waiting outside. He watched her as she arrived and opened her the car door. She noticed his caring attitude and asked, "I know what happened, Alice told us all." She nodded. "Alright, we can leave it without the explanations."

He asked, " If I say that you should listen to him, it will be unnecessary, I understand it hurts more than anything. Therefore I am asking if I can help you somehow?" Ellen watched his reaction, he was really trying to help her. She already thought about a few solutions in the car. She will accept Lucy´s offer and move in with her dad. She can stay there for a few months. At least until the baby is born. Edward spoke, "Bella and Rosalie reserved the tickets for you and packed everything you need." Ellen just gasped. "How did you…..?"

Edward just smiled sadly. "Alice." She nodded and followed Edward into the house. Everyone was sitting in the living room. The tension was incredible. Ellen could feel the unhappiness from them all. She sat next to Alice.

"Girls, thank you for everything, I wish there could be some other solution but I can't see it."

Alice touched her elbow. "Don't worry, Ellen, we all understand you cannot stay here under such circumstances."

Ellen just whispered a silent thanks. Bella asked, "Ell, honey, would you like to go to have few hours of sleep? You should rest before the long journey." Ellen agreed, "Yes, that might be helpful." She hugged everyone in the room and headed upstairs to her room.

She entered in and felt the incredible sadness. This time she lost the man she loved so deeply. He never treated her wrongly and always had the best intentions. She had no idea what she did that made him act like this. Perhaps the attraction for his ex-wife was stronger than anything. They have a past. That might have been the reason. She won´t prevent their happiness. If she is what Carlisle needs, then she will leave to give them a chance for a happy relationship. No matter how hard that will be, she will attempt to make a new life. On the one hand, she felt a bit relief that she could go to her family, but, on the other hand, she felt so sad because she would be her other family. They all behaved so nicely to her since they had met. They accepted her so easily as the soulmate of their father. Now everything is gone. She could feel the tears falling again. She couldn't think anymore. She just cried herself into sleep.

Meanwhile Carlisle arrived home, everyone was still sitting in the living room waiting patiently for the head of the family to speak. He closed the door behind him and appeared in the living room. Rosalie whispered, "Carlisle, we are all so sorry…." He just nodded and wanted to continue in his room. Edward came closer to him, "Dad, what will you do? She is leaving in the morning. You need to do something…." Carlisle turned to him with the venom tears in the eyes. " Edward, you read her mind, you know better than I that she won't give me a chance to explain. It was clear she didn't even want to hear me out."

Edward knew that Carlisle was right. He just tapped his father´s shoulder and let him walk upstairs. When he was walking around Ellen´s room, he couldn't almost look that way. He felt like he was being ripped from the inside. His mate will be leaving to the other side of the continent and he will probably never see her again, not even Patricia, and the unborn baby too. He wanted to bring her or him up as his own child. He had to sit down in his armchair, this was too hard to bear. He carefully stood up and entered Ellen´s room.

She was already sleeping, he couldn´t resist and sat down on the edge of her bed. He wanted to spend the last few hours he had in her presence. It was one of the hardest moments in his whole existence. At one moment he was so desperate, he couldn't stop himself from touching her hand. It felt so soft, so lovely to touch her. He knew it was for the last time. He has to find a way to occupy himself enough to forget about her departure. But he won't be able to forget her. Not ever. A few hours later he moved to spend few more moments with Patricia.

The little child became closer to his heart same as his own children. He remembered the first moments when he met her. He reminded as Ellen brought her to the ER with the fever and then he began visiting them in their house. Her favorite doll was in her arms and he felt so desperate. He could see clearly the moments from Christmas when Ellen gave him the book with Patty´s pictures. How happy they used to be. Everything seemed so promising. Now it´s all gone. With silence and emptiness in his soul he left his daughter´s room. In the morning Ellen was woken up by Bella.

" Ell, I phoned to school, that you're taking few weeks off and then the maternity period." "It´s so kind of you, I don't know how to thank you." Bella hugged her and whispered, "Carlisle spent the whole night in your room, it would be fair to hear him out." She shook the head. "Bella, I know you mean well, but I can't face him, it hurts too much." Bella watched her. "You have no idea as it hurts him too, you are his mate and for our kind such a pain destroys us from the inside, I have had no such experience but I have heard it…" She left the room, silently saying, "I will prepare Patricia for the journey, we will tell that you are going for a visit to her grandfather."

She closed the door and Ellen was alone again. She had no idea what to do. She thought that leaving would be easier. Since she woke up, she felt the sadness in her heart but she knew that nothing can be done. He broke her trust and she cannot change the fact. But she felt she owes him the last talk. It´s rude to leave without saying goodbye. She came out of the room and knocked on the door of his study. He replied immediately and so she entered. She felt his perfume all around and noticed him sitting on the sofa holding his knees looking in front of himself. He looked so absent-minded at the moment.

When he noticed her coming closer and sitting down in the nearby armchair, he moved into more serious position. Ellen replied, "Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you." He looked at her so desperately. "Elly, you could never disturb me….you´re…."

She nodded. "Okay, I came…I …..," she continued after a deep breath, "I came to tell you goodbye, I think me and Patty should give you some space to renew your relationship with Esme."

He replied in a second, "Ell, you don't get it, do you? I don't love Esme. I don't love her anymore since the moment she left me and the family."

He knelt in front of Ellen. "The only woman I love is you, sweetie. You and Patty and the baby are everything for me. I never wanted to kiss Esme, she just used the situation last night. I could never…"

He said it with the absolute urgency that surprised Ellen. She could finally understand what Bella meant. It was clear that he was hugely depressed. She would even believe him if she didn't see it with her own eyes. She raised her hand and laid it on his lips, "Carlisle, it doesn't matter I can't stay here anyway, I need to go away for a while and think about my life, I can't live like this."

He watched her with hope in his eyes and she noticed that. "Will you be back?" She shook the head. " I don't know….I….I can't promise anything right now, it hurts so much…I… I need time….."

She stood up and he did the same. Ellen couldn't face his sad look anymore. She wanted to turn around and leave when he hugged her. It was a gentle hug for him but she could feel the strength of their whole relationship that he gave in this one move. She felt the familiar beauty and for the few seconds resigned on all her thoughts and just enjoyed his closeness. Then the tears appeared again and she pulled away from him.

Without looking back at him she walked close to the door. He called at her, "Ellen…." She didn´t look back, but stopped opening the door. She knew that if she had turned back, he would have seen her tears and she wouldn´t have the strength to leave. But still she remained silent and listened,

"I love you Ellen, and will be waiting here for you, even if it means forever…. I will wait…." She closed the door behind and whispered, "Good bye, Carlisle." She knew he had to hear it. With the falling tears she walked for the rest of her things and down the stairs to head for the new life.