Chapter 39

Cacophony

"Is she going to be okay?" Nat asked, the muscles in his lekku tense with worry. He and Ylenic stood outside the Whipclaw on the dry bedrock of Korriban.

"Fear not, young one. The will of a Sith Lord stubborn enough to defy death and the Force itself is nothing compared to a Jedi like Ahsoka Tano. Let me tell you about the long line of Jedi who led to her." replied Ylenic. "It was rare for Master Yoda himself to take on an apprentice, but when he felt in the Force that it was the time to do so, he chose a tall, gawky Padawan learner. A Padawan who became one of the strongest Jedi of our era before he chose to leave the order. His knowledge of the Force was second only to the Jedi Council, and his will was strong enough to lead the galaxy to war."

"You mean, the Clone Wars?"

"Yes, Nat. I mean that Yoda's apprentice was Count Dooku. The most powerful duelist of the Order other than Masters Yoda and Windu, and the man strong enough to rally the Separatists and begin the Clone Wars."

Ahsoka walked back through her memory, trying to find the spots where she had been influenced by Darth Nadir. It had worked last time, there was no reason why it shouldn't work this time.

But every time she tried to go back in her mind, she went back too far. She found herself remembering her time on the planet Mortis. Mortis, the world that didn't seem to actually exist in this galaxy. The world that was a conduit for the Force itself.

The planet where she'd had her mind taken over by someone who was more powerful than every Sith Lord that ever lived, and every Sith Lord that ever refused to die.

There were only three people on the planet Mortis when she, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker had landed there. She never got a name from any of them, only a title. The Father, the Son, and the Daughter. The Daughter was pure light, and the Son pure dark. And the Father seemed to be the only one who could keep them in balance.

As long as Ahsoka had someone trying to scrabble around in her brain, she felt like she was out of balance.

"But if a Jedi like Dooku could fall to the dark side, then couldn't Ahsoka?"

"Ah, but that is but one link in the chain. Before leaving the Jedi, Dooku took an apprentice of his own. And that apprentice was Qui-Gon Jinn. There never was a Jedi more stubborn than Master Qui-Gon." Ylenic showed his teeth in his best approximation of a human smile, an effect that didn't quite work for a Caamasi. "Qui-Gon Jinn would have gotten along well with Ahsoka. They both share a certain kind of honesty. A Jedi should always do what he knows is right, but so many of us find ourselves following rules, guidelines, and elders instead of acting on our own instincts. Master Qui-Gon stood up to the council on many occasions, always doing what he believed was right."

"So what should a Jedi do if the council, who are stronger in the Force, disagree?"

"That was a question that haunted Master Qui-Gon on many occasions. Nevertheless, I never saw him falter during his tenure with the Jedi. If he paused, it was to meditate or consider. Or to wait for the right moment to act. Despite the turmoil his decisions must have caused, he was always calm, at peace."

"Peace is a lie," the voice said, "there is only passion. Through passion you will gain strength. Through strength, you will gain victory. Through victory, your chains will be broken. I know what you want. Right now, you want to be free. Your Jedi calm will not work."

Ahsoka couldn't just shut off her senses. The voice was inside her own head.

Just like the Son had gotten inside her head on Mortis, and turned her against her own Master. But the Son was one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Nadir was just an echo of an ancient Sith Lord who refused to become one with the Force when his time came.

"I didn't refuse," the voice replied to her unspoken thought. "I made a choice. I would be forever. My passion drove me, and eventually broke the chains that mortality and the Force binds everyone with. I am free. You have no freedom here. You could have the passion. You could have the power. You could break me, if you gave in. But you, with your obsession with calm and peace, will never be able to truly defeat me."

"I took your toys away from you. Twice now. I think we know who can't win here," Ahsoka replied. But her voice belied her attempt at calm, even she could hear the waver in it. She'd been taken over by the dark side of the Force before, but it had happened so quickly that she hadn't been able to fight back. Now that she could feel the tendrils in the recesses of her own mind, trying to corrupt her from within, she was starting to actually feel fear.

"I'm sure you know enough of our recent history to know who Master Qui-Gon Jinn's apprentice was," Ylenic said as he used the Force to help lift another heavy panel. BLX-5 took the panel from the air and held it against the side of the Whipclaw.

"Of course," replied Nat as he lowered his welding goggles, "It was Master Obi-Wan."

Ylenic laughed. "Padawan Kenobi, at the time. Did you know that Obi-Wan Kenobi left the Jedi Order once?"

Nat paused, holding the arc welder up to the metal plate, "Wait... really? Just like Ahsoka?"

"Almost. Obi-Wan felt that it was his duty to help a people who were being oppressed, and he was told that it was not the Jedi's duty to intervene. So he left his own Master and followed his heart, and the Force."

"I didn't know that."

"Few do, it wasn't widely publicized. Especially after he returned, and he and Master Qui-Gon discovered Anakin Skywalker on a small backwater planet." Ylenic closed his eyes, "Master Qui-Gon fully intended to defy the council and train Skywalker without their blessing, but he was felled by the saber of a Sith before he had the chance."

The only response was a laugh, one that she could feel now more than she could hear it. "We are luminous beings, we few who have the Force. But you are still chained to your body. Every time you are distracted, by a passing thought, a need, I can slip deeper into your mind. You can give in to your fear and flee me, of course. But the Force binds us all together. And now that I've broken those chains, I can wield them. You petty little Jedi and Sith can wave around your lightsabers, but I have more power than you can ever imagine."

"I will never give in to you!" she screamed at the empty cargo bay.

She just wanted the voice to stop, to leave her alone... just to be alone in her own head. With all of her will, she tried to flush his presence out of her mind. Ahsoka could feel his clawed tendrils holding onto her mind with all of their strength, and she tore them free. The pain was nearly unbearable, and she could feel them tearing through.

So many of them were clustered around her memories of Mortis.

Why had he latched onto them so strongly? What did he want from her?

"And everyone knows that Obi-Wan taught Anakin Skywalker," Nat said after he finished welding one seam of the hull plate.

"Yes, and like his own Master, he was willing to defy the council to do so. Eventually the council gave in and allowed him to train Anakin."

"Do you think he was really the Chosen One? Like the legend said?"

"Honestly, this I do not know. Perhaps it was necessary to destroy the Jedi Order to bring balance to the Force. I consider myself to be strong in the Force, and wise to its ways. But even I cannot see or understand the scope of the entire galaxy. Not even Master Yoda could do that. Perhaps both the Dark and the Light side of the force needed to be pruned, so that the galaxy could be at peace."

"Is an Empire really peace, though? We're still being hunted down."

Ylenic smiled, "You grow in wisdom, young one. These are questions whose answers remain to be seen. But I suspect we both already feel, through our hearts, minds, and the Force, what the answer to that will be. Tyranny is rarely benevolent in the end. One day, the people will have had too much, and they will rise up and overthrow it."

"Enough!" she screamed, "Get out of my head, or so help me, I will find another thermal det and scatter your holocron into another million pieces! It might not kill you, but you'll be so scrambled up that you won't know which part of you is which!"

And then, through the raw, torn up part of her mind, she felt a tendril reach through and poke at a memory from her time on Mortis.

In an instant, she was flooded with rage, and fear. Love, and hate. Pleasure and pain. Every feeling she had ever felt came rushing back to her in a torrent. Every moment of kindness she'd ever encountered, along with every betrayal, fought for her attention. She felt the pain of the loss of her entire squadron during the Clone Wars, at the same time as she remembered the pride of saving an entire village from annihilation. She felt the pride in being assigned as the Padawan of the Jedi that the entire class knew was supposed to be the Chosen One of legend, and the felt the hurt of his initial rejection of her. She could remember lying awake at night in the Jedi Temple, crying because she missed her mother.

Every emotion she ever felt flooded her mind and ripped away any defenses she had. Everything she was became raw and exposed. It was too much, far too much. She tried to beat it back with the Force, with her fists, with her voice, but it surrounded her.

She took her lightsaber in hand and ignited both blades. "I'm going to kill you!" she screamed, at Darth Nadir, at everything in the galaxy that could ever hurt her.