Ch 75

Ellen closed the door, locked it and then got in the car. She didn't feel very comfortable in her late pregnancy. Just four remaining weeks and there was still so much to do. Finally Patricia left with Timothy and Lucy for the weekend.

Ellen stood in front of the house waving and then set off on the journey. She had a few things packed in her backpack in case she stayed overnight. She hesitated about her plan. Will it work? Lucy borrowed her the car. Luckily the car had a GPS system so finding the flat wouldn't be a problem.

While driving, Ellen´s head was full of insecurities. On the one hand, she was glad that she found enough strength to go to find him, but, on the other hand,she worried a lot. She was afraid of his reaction. What if he throws her out of his premises? Yes, he claimed he would wait for her. But after many weeks he might feel better only with his family. Ellen couldn't get rid of such thoughts. They kept returning back no matter how much she tried to erase them. After two hours she arrived to the nearby town. She parked the car and entered the block of flats. The receptionist advised her the floor number and she entered the elevator. When she came in front of Carlisle´s flat, she raised her trembling hand to ring the bell.

Her hand fell down when there was no movement inside. Well, she could expect it. He has so many activities and certainly wouldn't wait for her. She decided to leave a message. She cannot waste such opportunity. Suddenly she felt so weak and had to sit down on a closeby bench. She put her head in her hands and began thinking of the immediate return back to her current home. She took out the bottle of water and when she finished drinking, she wanted to stand up.

She had no idea that while she was sitting on the bench, Carlisle was entering the building. At the reception he felt the scent he used to know. Firstly it shocked him, he didn't want to believe that this could thought could be true. He ran up the stairs and the scent grew stronger when he entered the floor he lived in. In a few seconds he came in the corridor leading to his flat and then he saw her.

Yes, it was her. She was sitting on the bench, moving a bottle of water from her mouth, closing the lid and looking around. He couldn't believe the miracle. Of all people, he would never expect her to come back. The events that had happened had hurt her and she didn't feel well to continue. It seemed too much for her.

And now she was here, outside the flat. He didn't know what to say or even how to behave. He would shake if he were able to. He watched her from the head to her toes. She was still so beautiful. Maybe more than when he saw her last time. The pregnancy suited her. She looked as a young girl again despite her real age. He couldn't say a word, he just couldn´t.

Ellen looked up when she heard the steps coming closer. She felt the insecurity in her heart again. She watched him as he was carefully coming closer. He seemed not to know how to behave. She stood up and whispered, "Carlisle….?"

Finally now he dared to look into her eyes, he was so happy to see her after so many weeks, on the other hand, he had no idea what would happen next. In her face he could see her exhaustion and tiredness. She must have not slept enough. She looked so weary. The past weeks must have been so hard for her as they were for him. He could see that she was waiting for him to say something, and so he replied,"Ellen?"

He didn't dare call her anything else as he didn't want to scare her. He moved silently around her and went to unlock the door. He looked back at her.

"Would you like to go inside?" Ellen just nodded and followed him into the flat. For the whole moment she couldn't move her eyes from his back. She loved the way the shirt moved on his back, she longed to be held in his arms but knew that the time was not right for such thoughts.

Suddenly he turned to her and closed the door behind her. He pointed at the nearby armchair. "Ellen, please sit down here."

She did as he said but when he said her name, she felt sad again. He never called her Ellen. He might still be angry with her and worried that maybe he had someone else. She noticed that there was silence among them. He didn´t say anything and decided to stop the silence. "Carlisle-"

The tone of her voice made him to raise up his head. "I…. I came to talk to you."

He watched her with hope in his chest. She was here, she wanted to talk to him, she hasn't erased everything yet. Ellen took a deep breath and spoke, "I…I just wanted to apologise-"

He interrupted her, "Ellen, you are not the one to apologise-"

She entered in his speech, "You don't get it…I want to apologise…since the moment you told me about your vampire origin, I behaved like an idiot…..I disrespected your family, I suddenly didn't trust your children, and in the end I didn't trust you… I allowed myself to believe that you would return back to Esme."

He wanted to say something but she raised her palm to stop him. She continued, " It´s not your fault…..now I know it…It was me, I messed up things. If I had had more faith in you after everything you had done for me and my like this would have happened."

He wanted to say something again but she didn't let him. "I apologise for everything I have done. It wasn't fair to you and now I know it. I just wanted to tell you so you would know, you aren´t the guilty one, I am."

She swallowed the tears moving in her voice. She didn't need much to start crying. She looked at him and before she could say anything else he was kneeling in front of her. When she didn't say anything, he dared to touch her knuckles. He caressed them carefully and she wanted to move the hands away first but then she changed her mind. It was so amazing to feel his cold hands on hers. She took a deep breath and continued, "It´s all my fault, I caused all this, you began living the way you always hated, you are no longer living with your family, you left your practice and all because of me and my stupid hysterical behavior. I was a bitch, the ungrateful one. I'm so sorry."

She wiped the tear with her sleeve and wanted to stand up but he didn't allow her. "I hope you will be able to forgive me one day."

She wanted to go but then he moved closer and caressed her face. At the moment she found herself looking straight in his golden eyes. She felt the connection between them again and reminded some of their happy moments. He left his hand on her cheek and moved his thumb along her face wiping the tears away. She couldn't move, she couldn't think. She was just watching his face as he was coming closer, still kneeling in front of her.

At one moment she couldn't hold on the look anymore. She closed the eyes and just remained silent. Few seconds later she felt his other hand on her other cheek and his velvet voice whispered, "Elly, open your eyes, please."

She did as he wished and could see his wonderful smile she missed so much. She desired to hug him more than ever. He spoke up, "Ellie, you are wrong, we both were. I should have thrown my ex away as Edward and Alice advised me, it wasn't fair from me to let her stay in our house with us, it was a silly idea on my part thinking that everything would be ok. I was a fool. And then…..I believe I should have told you earlier, I should have been sincere to you from the beginning, I was lying for so long. I should have given you more credit and believe that you would také me as I am. I was so worried to lose you, when I told you….things happened so fast then…you had no time to get used to it…. I can´t be angry with you, we are both at fault in this, we have both made mistakes."

Ellen didn't know what to say, he was so close and she lost all the courage she had in her heart. She wasn't able to do anything at all. The situation was too hard on her.

She watched him. "Once again, I am sorry, for everything… now you know it and I won't disturb you anymore."

She wished to stand up and leave the room, she felt she needed to go. But he stopped her, "Lilly…"

She looked at him with surprised look.

"You remember?" He swallowed, "I remember everything about you, you are everything to me, my love, my best friend who always hears me out, mother of my children and my soulmate and if I recall right, you promised to marry me, sweetie?"

He smiled tenderly at her and she blushed. He completely got her. She stared at him, "I thought…that..…that after everything, you no longer care about me…us….that you want to forget"

She began crying again and this time he could feel her insecurities. He carefully moved his hands around her and hugged her gently to his chest. "I could never forget Elly…I love you…no matter what you think, my feelings hasn't changed at all, you and the kids are everything to me," he whispered in her ears, and moved closer to him.

Ellen felt so touched by this and she finally let all her tears fall down. Now she was where she belonged. With him. Back home. She was weeping and he tried to soothe by touching gently her back and whispering loving words in her ear. At that moment she felt that everything could be good among them in some time again.