This was spawned forth from a conversation with Gouken 2009 after I linked him to Laying the Smackethdown: Uzumaki Style by Vesvius, a far better writer of this style than I could ever hope to be. I hope they don't mind me borrowing a page from their books in this one. If you get the chance, check out the other story for better work.

Naruto had finally caught up with Sasuke, the area was known only as the Valley of the End. Looking across at the head of Mandara Uchiha from his vantage point on the Hashirama Senju, the blonde jinchuuriki racked his brain, trying to figure out how to bring his teammate back to the village. Then a crazy, half-baked idea hit him.

Since those types usually worked for him when he was pranking, he decided to go with it. Summoning Gamakichi and Gamatatsu, he gave them a scroll each before the three of them leapt over the gap between the two. Naruto landed first, mere feet from Sasuke, while the two toads landed a few yards to either side. Sasuke barely noticed that the scrolls had a rolled up manga on the backside before the seals on the scroll activated, and a giant metal cage surrounded the pair, and a strange canvas like flooring replaced the ground, giving them a bit more spring to their steps.

"This is a special chakra draining cage," Naruto proclaimed as he stood up to his full height, "It'll eliminate any jutsu we try to perform, so now it's a strictly taijutsu match."

Sasuke snarled as he felt his Sharingan fade away, knowing that the dobe was going to have the advantage without it. "So this is what that sannin showed you? How to get trapped with your target?"

"Nope," Naruto answered with a smirk, "He showed me how to make the cage sure, but the rest I learned from watching TV."

Before Sasuke could ask what he meant, he felt Naruto's arm impacting his chest, sending him sprawling on the mat. Springing back up he charged at Naruto with his arms set for a punch, however that soon turned into him being flipped up and over Naruto's shoulder, down onto his back heavily.

Rolling to his hands and knees he snarled as the dobe just smirked at him. His attack style wasn't very well suited to the brawling like Naruto was used to, and he also gave Naruto at least a good twenty pounds. He wasn't about to give up though.

Springing up off the mat, he went in for a flying tackled to Naruto's midsection, expecting him to not see the move coming. Sadly it was not to be as Naruto leapfrogged over him, sending him face first into the metal bars of the cage.

While stars danced before his eyes, Sasuke felt Naruto sling his arm over his shoulder, as though to support him from falling over. He realized he had a problem when Naruto used his other hand to hoist him up by his waistband and held him inverted on his shoulder. The next second Naruto was out from under him, and his head was coming in for an impact with the mat. As he laid sprawled out on the ground, he regained the use of his eyes, shortly before Naruto elbow dropped down across his chest, knocking the air out of him.

Naruto didn't let Sasuke regain his breath however; instead he hefted Sasuke up by his throat. Holding him there for a moment he let out a vicious snarl, which allowed Sasuke enough time to see that Naruto's eyes were all white, just in time to be forced back down into the mat back first.

Naruto didn't give Sasuke any time to recover again; instead he lifted him by his legs, front to Naruto's back. His head was only between the knees of Naruto for only a minute before Naruto slung him forward like a catapult. Sasuke hit the bars head first, and then the rest of his back slammed into the bars.

As the last of the Uchiha clan crumpled to the ground unconscious, Naruto folded his arms over his chest, as though dead. He looked up just as Kakashi arrived, his eyes rolled back into his skull. Kakashi for the first time knew fear since the Kyuubi attacked; it wasn't Killer Intent rolling of the blonde, but rather a simple promise of death.

Kakashi watched a metamorphosis roll over Naruto, going from the personification of death, into the simple smiling face he'd always known. "I told everyone I'd bring him back..." Naruto stated calmly, before he passed out on top of Sasuke.

Kakashi walked over and scooped the pair of passed out shinobi, and started carrying them home. No one was likely to believe this mission report.