Hi, thanks for your patience with me...

it´s been pretty hectic in the last months, but now I am back and I will continue my stories... I´ve had couple ideas... I hope you´ll like them...

Here is my little Christmas gift to all of you...and in addition I would like to wish you all Happy and Beautiful Christmas and all the best in the new year...

Take care of yourselves and if you find some small amount of time to read my stories, I will be very delighted :-)

so here we go...

Ch 76 Solitude

Ellen was hugging Carlisle tight, so tight she didn't want to let him go. She enjoyed his presence and wanted this moment to last forever. She had missed him a lot and this was the best that could ever happen. He might have forgiven her. Or he will, one day...She forgave him for everything. They were together again.

Patricia and Charlotte will have their daddy again. She had to smile at the thought of their daughters and he noticed. He kissed her forehead, and spoke silently, "Ellie?"

She looked up and he gently laid his cold fingers on her cheek. She raised her hand to touch his palm. "I was just thinking about Patricia and Charlotte." He wanted to nod but then he reluctantly asked, "Charlotte? You mean,the little one is here?" He pointed at her belly. She just smiled and then realised that he had no idea. Nobody did. Maybe Alice did, but she hadn't told anyone. Ellen's eyes looked down. "Yes, I wanted to name her after you, so I hope you don't mind that I...". He cupped her cheek. "Of course not, I am so happy to hear the name. So... the little girl here is Charlotte Cullen?"

Ellen couldn't help but giggle, this touched him and he seemed so cute. "Charlotte Adele Cullen... It´s after my mother." He added, "I think it´s absolutely perfect now."

He hugged her again, and she didn't protest and he sat down on the sofa and moved her on his lap. She still didn´t say anything against it and so he enjoyed their reunion. He missed her so much. He couldn't get her out of his head for a single minute. He still had to think about her.

Since the moment she left, he couldn't hold on in Forks anymore. Everything reminded him of Ellen. He saw her everywhere. She spent too much time in the Cullen mansion that it was impossible to walk through the house without seeing her everywhere. He reminded of every moment they spent together. He went back in his thoughts trying to figure out what he did that wrong. He should have thrown his ex wife away. It was a very bad decision to accept her back into their lives. He should have presumed something was going to happen. A week after she left he couldn't hold on anymore, so much so that nothing brought him pleasure. He couldn't stay in the house, he couldn't continue working in his practice. He had to leave, at least for few weeks. He needed to move his thoughts in some other place or he would have gone crazy.

One day, when he went hunting with Edward, he didn't even have to speak, Edward did that for him. He answered the question that he had in his head. All his kids understood the situation and agreed with his departure. They knew that he would come back eventually, he just needed some time for himself. He signed up online to some medical conferences and rented a place to stay. The departure from the family was hard but he knew he couldn't make it anymore there alone, without Ellen, who he missed her so much. These feelings were growing day by day that he wanted to go to her, even though he knew he couldn´t. She didn't want that. How many times had he already stood with his keys for his Mercedes planning to come for her at her father´s house. He always had to stop himself. He knew he had to let her live her life. She was the one who had decided to leave. He was aware of the fact that he hadn't made it easier for her and didn't blame her. He just felt so sad from it all. He missed Patty too. Every week he was counting the weeks Ellen had till the baby birth. He hoped that everything would be fine. One day when he was coming home he felt the familiar smell and she came! She finally came back. Long months of loneliness are over, now she is back...

He was lost in his thoughts that he didn´t notice Ellen looked up and studied his face. He looked at her lovingly. "I missed you." She smiled sadly. "So did I, I can't apologise enough."

He silenced her by placing his finger on her lips. "Elly, don't blame yourself, it´s over now." She wanted to say something but when he moved his finger away he gently kissed her. She kissed him back and in few moments he could feel salty tears falling down. He kissed them and wiped her eyes, "Sweetie, please, don't cry, everything´s going to be fine, I promise-"

"I know, I just, I am pregnant, everything touches me so deeply."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "You mean, they are happy tears then?"

She grinned. "Exactly."

They spent the whole afternoon together sitting there and talking about everything. Ellen didn't want to move away from him. She still couldn't get used to the idea that they are together again. She worried that this was just another beautiful dream and she would wake up again. She cuddled and laid her head on his shoulder. He gave her comfort and she loved it. Her worries were slowly melting away.

She listened to his talk about the conference while her stomach protested. She didn't care but Carlisle noticed. "I believe somebody is hungry here." Ellen waved her hand. "Don't worry, I am fine, I can eat later."

He stood her up and took his wallet and car keys out. "I know, but I have to pay attention to your eating now. I doubt you took care of yourself properly."

She blushed. "How do you know that? The doctor was pretty angry with me. I didn't gain much weight. Well, I lost quite bit in the beginning." Carlisle watched her with worries in his face. She seemed to be thinner than last time. But he didn't want to stress her yet, he promised he would take care of her eating habits. He caressed her cheek. "Don't worry, we'll both work on it, you will surprise your doctor next time." That made her smile.

Carlisle couldn't help but smile too. She was so adorable. He loved her look all the time but the pregnancy suited her. He couldn't move his eyes away from her. She took her purse and followed him out of the flat. He lead her to his car and helped her to get in.

She added, "I missed this sweetheart too." He touched her hand gently and held it while driving all the way to the restaurant.

He ordered the dinner and watched Ellen hungrily eating all three courses. She was so fast that it made him laugh. He didn't comment it but was glad to see her appetite back. After she finished the meal she drank the juice and asked, "Will you come back with me? Patricia would love to see you again." He pretended to sip the water. "Sure, I missed her too, but sweetie, there is one more thing I wanted to ask...Will you return back with me? My kids are certainly missing you too and now when we are together again, I think they won't tolerate our absence anymore." She replied immediately, "yes, I will, I love you and I don't want to leave you. These months were so terrible for me." He squeezed her hand tenderly and kissed the top of it. Ellen couldn't help it but tears fell down from her eyes again.

He paid for the meal and they walked to the car. It was such a nice evening and he suggested a walk. Ellen agreed, she loved the walks with him and so they headed to the close by park. Everything was blooming. She wanted to say something but a call interrupted her. Carlisle picked up and Ellen sat down on the bench. He listened to what the person was saying.

He was visibly nervous. "Alice, you cannot mean that, I can´t, it´s- No. I said- NO!"

He hang up and Ellen was worried of what he got to know.

She stood up and laid her hands gently on his shoulders. "Carlisle? Talk to me, please. What happened?"

He watched her carefully, he didn't want to scare her. They were together for just few hours. He was so happy to have her back and he didn't want to stress her. Ellen was already worried from his reaction. What happened?

She kissed his cheek. "Love? What happened? You seem so nervous now."

He hugged her around her waist and replied, "Alice told me, she wants us, I mean- she prepared a wedding ceremony for us. But I said no to her, I don't want to stress you with something like that. I am the happiest person in the world that you're back with me and I don't care about any wedding right now."

Ellen watched his confused behavior. She had to admit the idea astonished her. But somehow Carlisle´s strict denial surprised her too. Maybe even disappointed.

She looked down to her shoes and whispered sadly, "I see..."

Carlisle stopped thinking aloud and watched Ellen´s reaction. She should be satisfied but he didn´t understand this face of hers.

He moved her jaw up and asked, "Ellie? Did I say something wrong?"

She shrugged. "It just surprised me how strictly you refused the wedding."

Carlisle kneeled in front of her. "Ellie, no, please don´t think that, it´s just, I don't want to stress you right now, there is nothing I want more. I want you to become my wife, Mrs. Cullen." Ellen couldn't help but blush again. When he noticed her expression, he decided to ask the question. "My beloved Ellen, will you marry me tonight? I promise to be the best husband you deserve."

"Yeees..." She cried out and hugged him tight. He was surprised that she agreed. A moment later he realised that Alice was right. She certainly had her reasons for preparing this all.

He began kissing Ellen and when she pulled away, he wanted to call Alice back, but he already had the instructions in the text message. Ellen was reading it too and still couldn't get over it. Alice was unbelievable.

What do you think? Is it too fast? Yeah, it might seem so... but still...there is a reason...

Otherwise I would like to recommend an amazing story, by an amazingly talented writer Cozitrunsinmyblood, the story is named Black Keys, it´s an E/B story, but it´s so worth reading...and the bunch of people in her fb group are so nice...they held me and always had nice words to support when I was down in the recent months...