I do not own Twilight or its characters. Stephenie Meyer does.

Ch: 4

(EPOV)

It was late at night or technically early morning and Masen and Bella were both asleep in the back. Emmett was now driving and Jasper was trying to get some sleep. So far the drive had gone well. Every time Masen got cranky we would bring out a new movie or the MagnaDoodle which he had fallen in love with. It kept him busy for a while.

We stopped a couple of times to eat or for bathroom breaks. Since Bella was trying to potty train Masen we would stop when he had to go. Usually it was me or one of the guys that took him in wearing hats and sunglasses. Bella borrowed Jasper's hoodie, even though it warm, to hide the bruise on her face with the hood up. Part of me was disgruntled that he beat me to offering it to her.

I couldn't sleep so I turned on the small light over the door and pulled out the letters. I ran my fingers over her sloppy, loopy writing. After a moment's hesitation I opened the first one.

July 25, 2004

Dear Edward,

You probably didn't expect to hear from me, again, but I have some news to tell you about. But first, I hope that this letter finds you well. You probably finished boot camp at this point and I'm not sure where you will end up next. I hope despite how things ended you're well and that you're safe.

As for my news, I have to tell you it caught me by complete surprise. I swear to you it wasn't planned. I am pregnant!

There I said it or at least I wrote…I guess. I thought you deserved to know since it will make you a father. After giving it a lot thought I'm keeping the baby. I can't even contemplate an abortion and I'm not sure if I could give up my…our baby either.

I wanted you to know I don't expect anything of you. I'm not going to tell you we should get back together for the baby or even get married because I know first hand that doesn't work. Look at Renée and Charlie. They tried for the sake of me and ended up miserable. I don't want you to be miserable tied to me.

Don't worry I haven't told Charlie that I'm pregnant yet, so you are currently safe from him. I have only told Alice. She agreed with me that I should contact you. She even held my hand when I waited for the results of my test in her bathroom.

I'm telling you, because as the baby's father you have the right to be in the baby's life. I'm not going to take that from you. Although I won't force you to be in the baby's life either. Please, contact me back to tell me what you've decide.

Yours, was crossed out and replaced with,

Sincerely,

Bella

I took a deep breath and folded the letter. She pretty much wrote to tell me as soon as she found out. In fact, from the sounds of it, I was the second person that she told. I couldn't fault her for telling Alice. I was happy that someone was there for her even though it should've been me.

I placed the letter back in the envelope and grabbed the second one. My eyebrows raised at the anger of the second letter and how she addressed me so formally. The letter had tiny holes from where she used too much pressure on the paper.

September 2, 2004

Dear Mr. Cullen,

This is the second time that I have tried to reach you. The first letter got sent back to unopened with 'return to sender' on it and it seems that you couldn't have been bothered to open it. Well hopefully you can take a moment of your precious time to open it this time.

I am contacting you to inform you that I am pregnant with your baby. Yes, your baby! I don't what you to have heard from the stupid, small town gossip, but the baby is yours. Rumors have been circulating around town that I've cheated on you and that is why you dumped me. Even Esme believes it and wouldn't give me a chance to explain. She screamed at me in the middle of the supermarket 'How could I've done this to you?' What did you tell them? She was better to me than my own mother and she now looks at me like I am the town slut. What did I ever do but loved you? I don't deserve to be treated this way. I get you don't love me anymore, but is the cruelty really necessary?

Isn't it bad enough that my own mother disowned me when I told her I was pregnant and I refused to get an abortion like she insisted? She told me that having me was the biggest mistake of her life that she wished she could do over. And not to make the same mistake she did by taking on a burden.

Then I defend your sorry ass to Charlie when I told him. After seeing how I was treated and that you just left, he was all set to hunt your ass down. But I stood up for you for whatever reason, because I couldn't let him do something to you for something that you may not have any idea about.

I am telling you because it is the right thing to do. Even at this point when I wish I could never hear you name again. But you're my baby's father and he deserves to know you. If you think I am lying like the rest of them then screw you! If want a paternity test then you will have to wait until the baby is born. I am not risking the baby's life with a test that may do more harm than good to prove truth.

I would hope you would know me enough that I wouldn't lie about this. But then I thought I knew you well enough and look were that got me.

I don't know how else to reach you. Hell, maybe I should hire someone to write in the sky wherever you are staying. Then whatever skank of the week that you've busied yourself with will know what kind of guy you are, so they don't end up knocked up too. Don't tell me that there aren't any. Emmett told Rose what you planned to do, after she broke up with him, before she left for college. At least she believes me, even if she encouraged me to give the baby up for adoption.

If you want to contact me you know where to reach me.

Miss Isabella Swan

P.S.

If you need proof I am pregnant here is a copy of the baby's first ultrasound.

I pulled out the small black and white photo. She had circled a white cluster and labeled it baby. I touched it lightly with a light finger. In the corner it was labeled that she was about ten weeks when it was taken.

"You alright?" Emmett asked from the front.

"Yeah, just reading one of the letters." I replied.

"How many did she write?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice.

"Four in all," I answered. "In this one she was so mad at me. Seems like the whole town got the idea that she had cheated on me and that's why I dumped her. She had to deal with that shit on top of being pregnant." I placed everything back in the envelope.

"Fuck," Emmett seemed upset too.

I smiled sadly, he had always cared for Bella like a sister, so sure he understood what that gossip did to someone who was quiet and reserved like Bella. I brushed off what Rose said, because she tended to be a bitch anyways. Renée was never much involved with Bella's life so I wasn't surprised there. I was shocked by my own mother though. I had never explained to them what happened between Bella and me. When I came home upset I told them I didn't want to talk about it and left it as that. It made me feel like shit she took the blame for it.

"My parents knew that she was pregnant too. They never told me. They thought she had cheated on me too." I dropped the second letter on the seat and took a deep breath before opening the third. I looked at Bella sleeping at the moment looking peaceful. She was so mad at me in that last letter and she had every right to be.

October 22, 2004

Dear Edward,

This is the third letter I have sent you. I don't know why they keep returning to me. This is the address you gave me. I would check with your parents but they left as you may know. They weren't too pleased with me when they left either. I wished they let me explain to them before they believed the horrible rumors. I hope you don't either if you are ignoring them.

Actually I'm glad you didn't get my last letter. I had a very hard, bad day when I wrote that one and was too emotional to be in any shape to be writing.

Edward, there is no easy way to tell you this. But I'm pregnant. The baby is yours. I hope you haven't heard the rumors that I cheated on you. You have to believe me that I would never ever have done that to you when I loved so much. I also didn't go and have a one night stand as a rebound after you left. The other popular story.

This baby is yours and from what I can figure it had to have happened the last time we made love in the meadow.

Currently I am twenty weeks pregnant. The baby is due in Mid-March, about the thirteenth. I found out today that I'm having a boy. I hope one day he is as handsome as his father.

I'm writing so you have a chance to know your son. To be his father, if you want. Even if we aren't together anymore I wouldn't take that from either of you. Every boy deserves a father and I know you would be a great one.

I'm not asking anything from you. Only to let you know the truth. What you chose to do with it is your decision.

One more thing… I met someone recently. He has been about the only one nice to me in a long while. His name is Alec Volturi. He is a business manager at U-Dub about to get his Masters. He reminds me of you in a lot of ways, intelligent, polite and how he tries to make me laugh. He has been nothing, but a gentleman towards me.

He has asked me to dinner a few times but I have turned him down. I finally accepted the other day. It's nothing serious but it's nice to have a friend. Alice is away in New York so I don't get to see her. Charlie is okay but he's always busy.

I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you're being safe so your son can one day meet his father. If you see Jasper and Emmett tell them hi for me and I wish them well too.

Bella.

P.S.

I included two pictures from the last ultrasound. One is his head and torso (he looks like he's trying to wave), the second is a picture shows that he is a boy.

I pulled out the pictures and I smiled. You could make out a nose and mouth. I could see his arms and little hand raised. I looked at the second and it didn't take long to figure out that between his legs he was obviously a boy.

At least, she was happier in this letter. I'm not sure what the change of heart was, but then Bella didn't usually hold a grudge. I felt a surge of jealousy that it was Alec with her, going through the pregnancy and being there when Masen was born.

"Bella says hi and she hopes you're being safe," I told Emmett. He looked at me in the rearview mirror with a confused expression.

"Huh?" he looked back at the road.

"In the letter she asked me to tell you and Jazz 'hi' and that she hope that you're being safe." I restated more clearly.

"Oh, I didn't think she would think about us." Emmett frowned slightly and shifted in his seat.

"Why wouldn't she. She thinks of you two as friends." I looked up at him.

He shrugged, opened his mouth and closed it.

"She met Alec at this point. She states that he was nice and actually reminded her of me." I scowled. I would never have laid hand on her in violence.

"Is it really that surprising that he was nice at first? He probably did that to lure her in." Emmett answered as if it was obvious.

"But why her? Why choose a woman that was pregnant?" Something bothered me about this.

"Why not. Maybe he really did like Bella at first. Can you blame him for that?" Emmett reasoned.

"No, I guess not." I sighed discontentment and picked up the last letter.

March 9, 2005

Dear Edward,

I hope this letter finds you well. This is my fourth and last attempt to reach you. I have tried to reach you because shortly after you left, I found out I was pregnant with your son.

Today, March 9, 2005, I gave birth to him. I named him Masen Charles Cullen. He was 6lbs 6oz, 20 inches long. He is healthy and strong and he looks like his daddy. His hair already looks like it's going to be ginger. The only thing he has from me is my nose. But it's still too early to tell what color his eyes will be.

I hope you want to be part of your son's life. I want him to know his daddy. I am going to tell him about you. All good things I promise. He will know you as his daddy, the Marine, who is busy off fighting for our country, to protect him and everyone else.

I swear I will never utter an ill word about you to him. I know from experience what that does to a child.

I hope he will meet you one day for himself. I promise to never keep him from you, but this is the last time I will reach out. I have tried a few times now only for each letter to retuned unopened. Each time I feel more and more rejected. I won't allow Masen to feel rejected by you. It hurts when a parent rejects you, I know countless times from my experience from Renée. So decide either you're in his life or you're not. There is no back and forth with being in his life, that's one thing I refuse to allow.

I have met someone and he's a good man. He has promised to provide for Masen and myself. Even Charlie likes the guy.

His name is Alec Volturi and he has asked me to marry him. I plan to tell him yes. He is going to move us to Phoenix for his work.

Even if I marry him he still won't be Masen's father. That still will be you, unless you give up your rights. But I hope you don't. I won't ask you for child's support. Just for you to be there for your son when you are ready.

Take care of yourself, because there is a little boy who will want to meet his Daddy the war hero.

Sincerely,

Bella

With the letter there was a couple of photos. One of Masen in a bath screaming his head off. He was so tiny and red. The second he was wrapped up like a burrito in a blue blanket lying in a hospital crib for babies. The third Bella was holding him with a tired, but happy smile. There was a forth with a sticky note. 'Bella doesn't know I sent this, she would kill me if she did. –Alice'. I pulled the sticky note off. It was a profile of Bella and she was very pregnant. She had one hand on her belly and she was smiling softly. But her smile didn't quite reach her sad eyes.

I didn't realize I was crying until a drop fell on the paper. I wiped my eyes and looked out the window to gather myself. Bella never failed to amaze me. She should've hated me and had every right to keep Masen from me, but it seems that she had never planned to even when she was the most upset with me. Instead she described me as a hero, which I wasn't one.

I wished I could turn back the clock and never have broken up with her. I could've been there for her and Masen. She wouldn't have ended up with Alec. He never would've laid a hand on her. Charlie would still be alive.

I had this second chance and I'll be damned if I mess it up again. I already came close to messing up with Masen. I had smacked Emmett in the back of the head, many times over the years, never thinking twice about it. But that one slap scared Masen. He though that I was no better than that asswipe. I was surprised that it was Bella that jumped to my defense first.

I will do anything to prove that I will be there for them and make up to Bella and Masen the time that I've missed. So far Bella was firm that there will be nothing between us anymore. It worried me that I had my work cut out for me, not just because of how Alec treated her like shit, but how she was still hurting over what I did. Maybe I wasn't any better than the asswipe.

I sighed and turned in my seat.

"Emmett, would you like me to drive for a while?" I offered since I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep.

"Naw, I'm fine. Unlike you, I got sleep last night. Beside you look a little too preoccupied to be driving anywhere." He didn't take his eyes off the road. "Get some sleep, it will be better in the morning. The worst is over, right?"

"Right," I sighed. I looked over again at Masen sleeping. The hair on his forehead seemed sticky from sweat and it wasn't that warm in the car. He also seemed to be breathing heavy and funny.

I reached out and touched his forehead. His skin felt scorching under my hand.

I reached across and shook Bella gently. She jumped with a start and slammed against the opposite door. Her eyes were wide and panicked, she looked around like a startled rabbit before she saw me with my hand stretched out. She took a deep breath and visibly calmed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I apologized, feeling like shit that I scared her. "I think something is wrong with Masen. He feels like he is burning up," I explained hastily.

A/N: Just the letters mainly in this chapter. The second letter she vented all her frustrations to him. Otherwise she was trying to have a cordial relationship with her son's father. She didn't want any animosity between them, like Renée has for Charlie. She also knows even if Edward broke up with her, he's still a good person.

Alec came into the picture between the second and third letter so she was about 3.5 to 4 months pregnant at the time. He came across as a good guy at first, so he wasn't always abusive. Bella didn't lie about that in the letters.

A few asked about Alice. She left for collage like planned in N.Y. She was there for the birth of Masen. As to where is she, now all I'm going to say is since Alec killed Charlie do you think Bella would let him anywhere near Alice if she could help it?

Everyone seems convinced that was Emmett's fault for the letters. Although he is acting very guilty. Is he? You will all find out in a later chapter.

Bella and Edward will talk things out. But not in a car with a three year old boy that can overhear them.

Thank You For All the Wonderful Reviews

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Preview:

"I have a grandson?" my father murmured.

"Do you? It seems that you and mom just rejected him before he was born." I bitterly retorted.

"That's not fair. We didn't know." He grew upset.

"But you should've. How could you honestly think something so horrible of Bella? You know her. You used to joke about keeping her and getting rid of me if we broke up. What did mom say to her?" He was silent for a while.