Xena's body tensed as she started to wake up. Her swollen eyes opened and she could finally see something. Everything was blury and she could only recognise shapes and some colours but she believed that it was about to get better. She blinked few times as if she wanted to shake this blindness off. She tried to move. Even the slightest movement caused her pain. She felt like an army of soldiers just ran her over. She was exhausted. It was hard to remember what actually happened and where she was. Being a warrior she would expect that the first memory that would surface would be of a fight and the pain but it was absolutely something she didn't expect. She remembered a soft touch on her skin, calming voice of a young girl and the peaceful feeling she felt in her presence. She clenched her jaws and let out a sound of disgust. She was acting like a young boy who just fell in love. „What happened to me?" she asked herself and pushed every little glimpse of emotion deep inside so she could rely on her warrior skills. As soon as she can stand on her own feet she is outta there. The promise of not creating any attachment to anyone or anything was stronger than ever. Her ears caught footsteps. It was Gabrielle bringing new bandages and some herbs to nurture her wounds. Xena's body relaxed as soon as she heard the healer's voice.
„I see you are awake. I came to change your bandages," Gabrielle explained Xena what she came for and stood next to the bed. Xena turned her head to face the girl. Their eyes met. A mixture of feelings filled their bodies. Gabrielle felt like there was something behind Xena's eyes, some kind of hurt. She felt Xena's insecurity and fear even though the warrior tried to hide it. It was strange. Gabrielle felt connected to the wounded woman in a way she couldn't explain. There was something that drew her to the warrior. No matter how much pain her presence caused her she felt like their journeys were meant to be joined. Gabrielle didn't know why, she also didn't know what she could mean to Xena but it was just the way she felt. Xena's eyes scanned every piece of Gabrielle's body. The first thought that Xena had in mind was about using Gabrielle as a healer in her own army. Maybe she would be good as a soldier one day, her body was firm and she had strong arms. Then she looked into the bard's eyes and every single thought about army was gone. All that she could feel was compassion, love and selfless service that Gabrielle was giving her. If the moment lasted longer Xena's eyes would probably fill with tears. The warrior snapped out of the moment and she became herself again, angry, closed, pissed and impatient.
„Leave me alone, I will be fine," Xena hissed and turned her head away from Gabrielle. She didn't want her to see how vulnerable she makes her feel. If only she could stand up and walk away, join her soldiers and burn some villages just to get back into what it used to be, get back to what she used to be. Gabrielle wasn't ready to give it up with her so soon. Xena was in her hospice and in her care so she felt responsible for her condition. It was hard for Gabrielle to leave all the pain aside and approach Xena the same way as she used to take care of other people. But as a good healer she needed to close this part of her own self and do her best.
„Do you want the wounds to get infected? Then you would spend more days here than you intend to," Gabrielle knew which button to push to make Xena cooperate. From her own experience with other warlords she knew that they always wanted to be released from the hospice as soon as they could walk. Xena murmured something and nodded.
„Fine, but be quick!" Xena ordered. Gabrielle came closer to her and began undressing the wounds.
„I will be as quick as I need to," the bard used all of her bravery to sound confident. She knew Xena was a ruthless warrior who didn't stop before anything. She knew that this woman was ready to kill no matter what part of a day it was. But she also felt that she wasn't going to do anything to her. She somehow knew it. When she changed all of the bandages she took a cup and filled it with water.
„You need to drink," she said and placed the cup in front of Xena's lips. With her hand under Xena's head Gabrielle helped her to get up a little so Xena could take few sips of water. Xena couldn't let that happen. She was strong enough to drink on her own, Gabrielle's help was necessary. Xena threw the cup out of Gabrielle's hand and spat at her.
„I didn't ask for your help!" Xena yelled and watched as Gabrielle was cleaning her face and removing Xena's saliva from her cheek. She was proud of herself. She showed the bard that she was ok just by herself. She tried to convince herself about it but Gabrielle wasn't a fool and knew well that Xena was far away from being ok.
„I don't understand you," Gabrielle started a conversation. She had enough. As peaceful and calm as she tried to remain she also had her limits and Xena crossed them violently.
„You were brought here to get some treatment and here you are, refusing my help, closing yourself and showing me only your dark side even though I know there is more to you than just darkness, violence and killing," Gabrielle added and waited for Xena to respond.
„If you want gratitude and appreciation then you shall have it! Thank you for your help. Now leave me alone or you will experience what it feels like when you make me angry!" Xena yelped at Gabrielle. Gabrielle moved closer to the bed, her eyes following Xena's. She couldn't believe how much anger she felt toward this warrior woman. Now she had a chance to clasp her hands around Xena's neck and use all of her strength to release the warrior woman out of her misery and also end her own by avenging the death of her parents.
„You killed my parents few years ago when you and your army came to our village. Just because we didn't want to give you our food you murdered almost everyone including my parents. I guess I have the right to kill you and finally set the souls of my parents free," Gabrielle was full of anger and unconsciously she started to move towards Xena with her hands slowly rising to the warrior's neck. Xena noticed what Gabrielle wanted to do and got ready to defend herself. She didn't care about what this fight could cause or what other injuries she would have. The only thing she felt was fear that this could be her last day.
TBC